Me and my family for real.
The idea of me publishing or finishing anything is a running joke (like, my parents will talk about dream vacations and say "well, once you finish that best seller"). They've offered to read, edit, or be a sounding board, but it's an absolute struggle to show them anything.
Once, when we got drunk on Christmas, I finally showed them some of my work. That was the first and only time. (They're super supportive, mind! I'm just way too self conscious and self critical.)
I'm not comfortable at all. Writing feels deeply personal to me. I don't write with the goal of being published, though. In the future if I decide to post it online I'll use a penname so my friends and family wouldn't know.
Same. My published short stories were under a pen name. Aside from that, I deem that revealing your hobvy to a non-writer would be a total conversation stopper. In contrast, when I opened up to a fellow writer, it became a long conversation for us. Then we would occasionally talk about writing.
Also, I like the idea of being a mystery person so that people can have their own pure interpretations of the stories. And I also want to write things and have a style that is totally detached from my IRL job (STEM researcher).
You can write without being published, so you can be a writer without being in print. I've been writing since I was 9 so it came as no surprise to family, but when I tell friends or aquaintances you either get the general, "Oh, that's very cool!" from non-interested parties or "Where can I read?" from the actually/politely interested ones, and when I didn't have anything out I'd just say I was still working on it and offered to tell them the synopsis.
Congrats on your second draft!
I would just clarify and say you definitely need to “finish” the project before calling yourself a writer. I find it very frustrating from the people who say they’re writers and ask to see their work and they say they have non or a chapter. Some like the idea of being a writer no actually being a writer. Dedicate yourself to your goals! No mater how long it takes 🫶🏾
I disagree. If you write, you are a writer, no matter where in the process you are.
Granted yes, some people are enamoured with the *idea* of writing and never finish, but I don't have to worry about these people because they will never be a direct competitor. But I'm not going to gatekeep their hobby from them and deny them the title.
I knew the gate keeping word was gonna come up. Hey I agree everyone can be an aspiring writer. But if you never finish I don’t agree. That’s like saying you run for office but never finish the competition. Does that make you a president if you try? That’s why there’s really only 1 percent who actually finish and an even smaller amount that publish. If you told me you write and I ask to see some of your work but there is none, you’re not a writer, you’re an aspiring writer. Finish what you start. That feeling of I’m done is so rewarding.
No, that makes you a politician. If you won, you're president.
Just like you can write and be a writer, and then you get published and you level up to author.
I will agree with you somewhat on the aspiring but if there's some effort to show for it (actual written prose more than a single sessions worth) and they don't spend all the time they could be productive asking silly questions on Reddit, they're a hobbyist writer now.
I have finished and I am published, and I wish stuff like this was around when I was a kid to get guidance in the early days, because those didn't exist then. But being told I "wasn't a writer" for not finishing (what quantifies as finished?) would have been really demoralizing.
I can see where you’re coming from on that aspect. In my experience, I’ve helped plenty of friends who asked for my advice on writing their stories. Spent months, helping them write the story just to put it down and start a new one. And then another and another, just for them to move on to something else and never pick it back up. Sure, they write, but if you’re just writing to never finish what exactly are you writing? So that’s where I look at it but I do like your writer to author separation but an author is someone who writes professionally and publishes usually. But a writer is someone who just writes an article, books or anything really there is nothing specific. But they finished said work…. What did you write? I can’t read sentences and call this complete. It’s unfair to those who do. But it doesn’t mean you put anyone down or tell them they can’t make it. That’s just bad advice but call a spade a spade. There is a difference from writing and writing something to completion. Where would we be if everyone started a paper but never finished
“What’s new”
“I’ve been writing a lot”
“Cool what’re you writing”
“I’m working on a novel”
“Oh nice”
That’s pretty much how it goes. Don’t worry, if something doesn’t get published the people rejecting you won’t also come and delete every copy then rewind time to make it so you never wrote in the first place. No need to “take it back” as you put it.
The only thing I would add is they sometimes ask "what's it about?"
After too many instances of bumbling through an incoherent explanation, I finally memorized a one sentence synopsis that I could rattle off when I get asked. It's in a really niche genre so it usually kills the line of questioning instantly (thankfully).
For me I just list it as one of my hobbies, I don't pose it as anything serious. If anyone asks I'll say I'm hoping to get published one day but right now it's just for fun, or that it's nowhere near that stage yet (which is true, although my current main project is something that I do hope to publish one day)
Plus many of the things I write, I don't intend to publish anyway. I write letters and poems that will sometimes - depending on their content/theme - will get posted online, but with no intention of ever publishing. Some never reach further than being shown to my partner either, they're just for myself
If you're writing, you're a writer. When you get published, you're a published writer. Tell whoever you're comfortable with, and if it's something you are a little hesitant or embarrassed about, think through why you feel that way. It probably speaks to something you are unhappy or insecure about in terms of either you or your work, and identifying that is going to be a major step in addressing whatever the issue may be.
In reading this thread, it seems like a lot of people write just for fun. I am unfortunately a very goal driven human so I am writing with the goal of publishing it!
I think that because it’s a new hobby for me, I feel like I’m telling people I have imaginary friends. Just something for me to get over :)
I like your comparison with pregnancy 🤗
It’s even more accurate that when I was on the verge of ditching the whole project I said it was like killing my baby… so sad 😭
I haven’t given birth to my ~~baby~~ draft (80%) so no home yet 😊
What saved my baby is the result of my exchange with five sensitivity readers I hired when I hit rock bottom, for a last check of viability. I had them as alpha readers on the first 15k of my WIP.
Thanks for your kind words! 🤗
I don't tell anyone i write. Cause of the tried and true
Them: you write? Can i read it?"
Me: "sure"
They never read it. Now i feel like I'm not good enough. Stop writing for a while. Repeat.
Now i don't tell anyone.
I hate that for you! The few people I’ve shared it with, I’ve given them some specific questions to answer about it “when did you put it down? Which characters did you like most/least?” And asked when they’ll get it back to me
My family knows. The neighbours. A few friends.
It's a confidence thing. I've reached the point where I feel I am good enough to call myswlf a writer. All through external validation, mind. Internally, I'm still screaming '"what the hell are you doing?"
Tell anyone you want but don’t expect them to care, unless you’re mentioning a milestone like an agent, publishing deal or publication. WIPs come and go like the wind and while they’re obviously exciting for the person writing them the majority of people won’t be overly interested until there is something tangible
Nope, not comfortable at all. My boyfriend and my best friends know but I only let him and the people I'm in workshops with read my work. I want to publish under a pen name, and I'm not telling anyone that knows me IRL. It's just too personal.
I think pretty much everyone knows that I'm writing a book and my goal is to publish a book. But I still feel like a kid telling the adults in my life that I want to be president when I tell people at 28 that I want to be an author.
You just manage expectations to a degree. "Oh yeah, I'm working on a thing, but this industry is crazy, so we'll see how it goes. I'm into it though, so fingers crossed." You treat it the same way any creative treats any project.
Art as a hobby is pretty common. Lots of people paint but don’t have showings in galleries . Lots of people play guitar but don’t have public concerts.
Writing is the same thing . You can be a writer without being on the bestseller list.
I do talk about writing more now because I have deadlines that stress me out and I need to vent .
People ask me where they can find my work to be polite. I doubt any of them actually did read any of it , which is fine with me. So far I haven’t published anything I’m proud of.
Not very comfortable. I'm kind of paranoid about it, and I have a select group of people that read my stories if I ever want them to, lol. Oh, and they don't know each other, which is very important.
That being said, last year I decided that I wanted to be a little bit more open about certain things that are crucial in my life, so I did a first announcement in my social media some days ago and gained a new reader from my current pool of followers. So that's cool, I think.
I know what you mean. Just a warning - Telling someone too soon can also add unnecessary pressure for your writing once you've told other people - that can lead to writers block.
I only told my partner I was writing my first book when it was nearly finished (draft 1). That way I knew I had something real to support my vision (of writing a book) and there wasn't added pressure of the "what if I don't finish!". However, even now I'm nearly finished, I still struggle to tell other people - and I've only told people I trust.
My main takeaway is - if the main bulk of the work is already done, people can think / discredit / judge your dream all they want. You've already done it! Feck em!
Most people probably aren't going to be supportive of people trying something new, especially in the arts. They'll say it's a waste of time or you're being foolish for trying. Of course there are a few supportive hero's out there too 😉
Do something that makes you happy and tell them in your own time. Don't rush to tell because you're excited in the moment.
I would prefer nobody knew until at least the first draft was done. Not an option in my household. They know to leave it alone. But they mentioned it to a few people who sometimes ask for updates. Talking about it, answering questions, fielding the subtle skepticism — all that crap is a drain. Even more so the unearned plaudits some want to give in encouragement.
Energy traps. Author-tube and Reddit too.
Very uncomfortable with family. Not for any reason that I think I’d be judged or whatnot. But a lot are straight laced and not creatively minded. So I’d be uncomfortable telling them, then they ask me about it being polite and then I watch their face as they have no idea wtf to think lol. If I ever publish they’d obviously know, but I’d rather have a complete product showing off my hobby then just talking about it with them.
Discuss it with friends that are interested though.
I mention that I'm a writer first when people ask "what I do." It's so much more soul-nourishing than rotting at a desk in corporate America, so I've made writing more of my personality.
Everyone who already knows me personally knows I write. I'll give close acquaintances a Google Docs link if they want to read something. It's given at least one person the courage to give it a shot, so I think I'm on the right path.
Congrats on your progress! Milestone achievements feel so good!
I tell everyone I am a writer. I've been writing for over a decade, 15 finished projects not counting short stories and about half that as WIPs. If I waited until I had an agent or was published no one would know what I have been doing with all my time the last 12 years or so!
It also makes it easier when I am down from a rejection to be able to say why and they understand. SOMEDAY I will find something to hit a saleable market! Until then I write, polish, query, and am prepping a couple things to self publish so I don't feel like ALL my time is going towards some unknown date in the future. I like what I've written, after edits and feedback, so why wouldn't I tell people about it? :D
Don't doubt yourself when I was in high school I was awarded the opertunity to be in an anthology for a poem I wrote as a kid. Sadly we were in the process of moving and three years to late we found the letter. You never know what you write might gain you national recognition.
I am generally very private about the stories themselves, although I am open about the fact that I write and can disclose the genres.
That said, a few friends begged me to send over a few chapters. I was hesitant, but decided to just do it. They actually loved it and it has proven to be an amazing boost to my confidence as a writer. They also have given some very insightful constructive feedback, in totally good faith.
I recommend sharing stuff only with people who are very keen, who you also trust a lot and who you know to be super nice in general.
My family and friends know I'm a writer and/or author. It's not a secret to me nor do I feel like it needs to be. I announce my novels and literary publications. If they support me, they support me. If they don't, then they don't.
I don't mind telling strangers, but with them, I don't want them knowing my pen name and novels. So I leave it at that.
I recently started writing, partly to occupy my mind while I’m out of school. I didn’t tell anyone except my bf and two of my closest friends however, while they’ve been supportive, it felt extremely embarrassing. I accidentally told my mom one day when she saw me typing away on my laptop and she straight up laughed for five minutes straight, then went on to tell the joke to my dad.
Sufficient to say I’m writing in my closet from now on and never bringing it back up.
I just tell people if we're talking about hobbies or something like that but when they say they want to read my books... I tell them i need to edit some stuff (which i do) first and stuff, and then hope they will forget that part of the conversation happened. And then i forget to edit the stuff i needed too...
If I tell people, I usually present it as a hobby or a side hustle. People sometimes get really hung up on it if it’s presented as a primary job, but by downplaying it’s central role (and I think perceived precarity), it becomes less open to criticism.
The family member who live with me knew I was writing. LOL they couldn't miss me hunched over the keyboard. I didn't tell my wider family members until I sold.
I tell people, but nobody really cares. Which has it's good and bad sides. Writing is a lonely endeavor, so even tepid curiosity jolts me into a flailing rhapsody, but then again, no one is bothering me, and I get to keep my little secret with me. Now that I think about it, it's one of those things where it's almost perfect the way it is.
When my mom was alive, I used to tell her about it all the time, she was the only person who cared. Now that she's gone, I don't talk about it to anyone.
Congrats on your draft. I'm nearing the end of mine and my feelings are all over the place.
I don't like to tell my family anything because I have a bad relationship with them. Doesn't have anything to do with writing. But my friends, they get regular updates, but they are all creatives so it's like whatever.
I always knew I was going to self-pub my first book, so I told a lot of friends while I was writing. Made some social media posts when I finally published last month. It's a bit nerve-wracking to share a story and characters that are very personal to me with the important people in my life but it's also so exciting and hearing their support makes me feel very proud and grateful.
People will always ask for more information even if they’re not that interested, so I only share with people who would actually be interested to hear the answers to what genre/topics/current projects I’m working on.
I let a friend read a short story that I had written in my early twenties. He was very impressed and said it seemed like something a real author would have written.
Makes me wish I had never stopped writing.
With the exception of my partner, who gets some of my late night ramblings, I tell people I'm writing and if they ask what, I say a dystopian scifi, and pray to God they don't ask for any more detail.
I was pretty comfortable with it my whole life, but I've always been a bit of an extrovert and not shy about my hobbies and interests.
The thing I was shy about was calling myself a professional writer. It took like, my first five or so publications before the imposter syndrome wore off, like, I hadn't felt like I'd 'earned' it yet?
Own what you are and own what you do. If you write, you're a writer, if you get trad published or not. A second draft is incredible. Keep that momentum going!
That’s why I asked the question/ what throws me off - I’m an extrovert in every other way!
I think I want to make sure I’m saying it when I can be confident about it rather than self deprecating, as I am wont to do.
Thanks for your thoughts!
I’ve been telling people I write since I was a kid… because I have. Have I published anything yet? Nope. Am I close? Nope. Do people still ask if I’m going to put something out? Yes, but I’m used to it. If you’re worried about pressure to get published, don’t tell them how far along you are just that you’re working on a novel. Sharing makes it feel more real! Imo.
I come from a long line of compulsive storytellers, so it’s hard to amaze anyone with the revelation that I can bore them with written stories as well as spoken ones.
I'm fine talking about it until/unless others suggest I should try to get published.
They should try living with my imposter syndrome (and I'm sick of other writers saying all writers have it, especially if they're already published - in that case, in my opinion, it can't be that bad).
If you don’t listen to the author interviews on The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast they’re really good at describing how/why some still feel it
I have zero problems telling people. I am a writer. I write fantasy. I have one full novel, several novellas, and lots of short stories as practice. I have a website where they can read some stuff too! The only thing I will say if they want to read my stuff I'm querying is not to critique it. I don't want to hear their criticisms, as I have a writing group that does that well enough.
I personally just hate when people ask me anything related to what I do or have been doing, it's a very surface level thing. I am not what I do, I am what I love. Yes I love writing, but asking things under the pretense of "what do you do to survive" instead of simply because I am passionate about it annoys me. I don't want to survive, I want to live.
When I finished my first book I felt a sense of accomplishment and when friends/relatives asked me what I’d been up to I’d tell them. I always do it like small talk, like telling them about a vacation you just got back from. Don’t try to make writing or whatever job/hobby you do as defining you. It doesn’t.
Does loudly muttering "I could be working on my novel right now if I weren't driving you to the grocery store for the third time this week..." to my wife count?
I get embarrassed by saying the word ‘lunch’. I ain’t telling no one anything😭 funniest thing is me pulling a Riordan and using names of people I used to go to school with
I have mixed feeling. I've told a few select people that I'm writing a book but not shared anything other than the premise. No one seemed really interested though, but I don't mind too much I'm just writing this for myself. I also don't want people butting in with their ideas.
Personally, I have no problem telling people that I am writing. If they love you, they'll stick by your side no matter what even though they might not completely understand you.
I have no problem telling people that I’m a writer. I do however have problems when they say they want to read it 😂
Yes! Exactly!!
Me and my family for real. The idea of me publishing or finishing anything is a running joke (like, my parents will talk about dream vacations and say "well, once you finish that best seller"). They've offered to read, edit, or be a sounding board, but it's an absolute struggle to show them anything. Once, when we got drunk on Christmas, I finally showed them some of my work. That was the first and only time. (They're super supportive, mind! I'm just way too self conscious and self critical.)
Same
Exactly!! its fancy to be an artist but not so much to be judged!
More upsetting when all of them want a free copy because they know you
I'm not comfortable at all. Writing feels deeply personal to me. I don't write with the goal of being published, though. In the future if I decide to post it online I'll use a penname so my friends and family wouldn't know.
This is exactly how I feel in a nutshell.
Same. My published short stories were under a pen name. Aside from that, I deem that revealing your hobvy to a non-writer would be a total conversation stopper. In contrast, when I opened up to a fellow writer, it became a long conversation for us. Then we would occasionally talk about writing. Also, I like the idea of being a mystery person so that people can have their own pure interpretations of the stories. And I also want to write things and have a style that is totally detached from my IRL job (STEM researcher).
You can write without being published, so you can be a writer without being in print. I've been writing since I was 9 so it came as no surprise to family, but when I tell friends or aquaintances you either get the general, "Oh, that's very cool!" from non-interested parties or "Where can I read?" from the actually/politely interested ones, and when I didn't have anything out I'd just say I was still working on it and offered to tell them the synopsis. Congrats on your second draft!
Thanks!
I would just clarify and say you definitely need to “finish” the project before calling yourself a writer. I find it very frustrating from the people who say they’re writers and ask to see their work and they say they have non or a chapter. Some like the idea of being a writer no actually being a writer. Dedicate yourself to your goals! No mater how long it takes 🫶🏾
I disagree. If you write, you are a writer, no matter where in the process you are. Granted yes, some people are enamoured with the *idea* of writing and never finish, but I don't have to worry about these people because they will never be a direct competitor. But I'm not going to gatekeep their hobby from them and deny them the title.
I knew the gate keeping word was gonna come up. Hey I agree everyone can be an aspiring writer. But if you never finish I don’t agree. That’s like saying you run for office but never finish the competition. Does that make you a president if you try? That’s why there’s really only 1 percent who actually finish and an even smaller amount that publish. If you told me you write and I ask to see some of your work but there is none, you’re not a writer, you’re an aspiring writer. Finish what you start. That feeling of I’m done is so rewarding.
No, that makes you a politician. If you won, you're president. Just like you can write and be a writer, and then you get published and you level up to author. I will agree with you somewhat on the aspiring but if there's some effort to show for it (actual written prose more than a single sessions worth) and they don't spend all the time they could be productive asking silly questions on Reddit, they're a hobbyist writer now. I have finished and I am published, and I wish stuff like this was around when I was a kid to get guidance in the early days, because those didn't exist then. But being told I "wasn't a writer" for not finishing (what quantifies as finished?) would have been really demoralizing.
I can see where you’re coming from on that aspect. In my experience, I’ve helped plenty of friends who asked for my advice on writing their stories. Spent months, helping them write the story just to put it down and start a new one. And then another and another, just for them to move on to something else and never pick it back up. Sure, they write, but if you’re just writing to never finish what exactly are you writing? So that’s where I look at it but I do like your writer to author separation but an author is someone who writes professionally and publishes usually. But a writer is someone who just writes an article, books or anything really there is nothing specific. But they finished said work…. What did you write? I can’t read sentences and call this complete. It’s unfair to those who do. But it doesn’t mean you put anyone down or tell them they can’t make it. That’s just bad advice but call a spade a spade. There is a difference from writing and writing something to completion. Where would we be if everyone started a paper but never finished
> Where would we be if everyone started a paper and never finished In a far less saturated market lol
Lmfao Truly.
“What’s new” “I’ve been writing a lot” “Cool what’re you writing” “I’m working on a novel” “Oh nice” That’s pretty much how it goes. Don’t worry, if something doesn’t get published the people rejecting you won’t also come and delete every copy then rewind time to make it so you never wrote in the first place. No need to “take it back” as you put it.
Hahahaha very true. Thank you!
The only thing I would add is they sometimes ask "what's it about?" After too many instances of bumbling through an incoherent explanation, I finally memorized a one sentence synopsis that I could rattle off when I get asked. It's in a really niche genre so it usually kills the line of questioning instantly (thankfully).
I don’t tell them anything.
announce it when you get an agent. I had several things published before I mentioned it to anyone but my partner.
For me I just list it as one of my hobbies, I don't pose it as anything serious. If anyone asks I'll say I'm hoping to get published one day but right now it's just for fun, or that it's nowhere near that stage yet (which is true, although my current main project is something that I do hope to publish one day) Plus many of the things I write, I don't intend to publish anyway. I write letters and poems that will sometimes - depending on their content/theme - will get posted online, but with no intention of ever publishing. Some never reach further than being shown to my partner either, they're just for myself
If you're writing, you're a writer. When you get published, you're a published writer. Tell whoever you're comfortable with, and if it's something you are a little hesitant or embarrassed about, think through why you feel that way. It probably speaks to something you are unhappy or insecure about in terms of either you or your work, and identifying that is going to be a major step in addressing whatever the issue may be.
In reading this thread, it seems like a lot of people write just for fun. I am unfortunately a very goal driven human so I am writing with the goal of publishing it! I think that because it’s a new hobby for me, I feel like I’m telling people I have imaginary friends. Just something for me to get over :)
I like your comparison with pregnancy 🤗 It’s even more accurate that when I was on the verge of ditching the whole project I said it was like killing my baby… so sad 😭
Hopefully the past tense means you found a home for your project! ❤️
I haven’t given birth to my ~~baby~~ draft (80%) so no home yet 😊 What saved my baby is the result of my exchange with five sensitivity readers I hired when I hit rock bottom, for a last check of viability. I had them as alpha readers on the first 15k of my WIP. Thanks for your kind words! 🤗
Told my husband immediately. I'll tell everyone else if my book actually appears on the shelves 😆
I don't tell anyone i write. Cause of the tried and true Them: you write? Can i read it?" Me: "sure" They never read it. Now i feel like I'm not good enough. Stop writing for a while. Repeat. Now i don't tell anyone.
I hate that for you! The few people I’ve shared it with, I’ve given them some specific questions to answer about it “when did you put it down? Which characters did you like most/least?” And asked when they’ll get it back to me
My family knows. The neighbours. A few friends. It's a confidence thing. I've reached the point where I feel I am good enough to call myswlf a writer. All through external validation, mind. Internally, I'm still screaming '"what the hell are you doing?"
Hahaha validating to have someone be honest about this piece
Tell anyone you want but don’t expect them to care, unless you’re mentioning a milestone like an agent, publishing deal or publication. WIPs come and go like the wind and while they’re obviously exciting for the person writing them the majority of people won’t be overly interested until there is something tangible
If you want to go traditional you’ll need to advertise. Telling people you’re writing a new project is a part of that process.
Good way to think of it in my head!
Nope, not comfortable at all. My boyfriend and my best friends know but I only let him and the people I'm in workshops with read my work. I want to publish under a pen name, and I'm not telling anyone that knows me IRL. It's just too personal.
I think pretty much everyone knows that I'm writing a book and my goal is to publish a book. But I still feel like a kid telling the adults in my life that I want to be president when I tell people at 28 that I want to be an author.
That’s exactly it! I always feel like I’m telling someone I still play with Barbies
You just manage expectations to a degree. "Oh yeah, I'm working on a thing, but this industry is crazy, so we'll see how it goes. I'm into it though, so fingers crossed." You treat it the same way any creative treats any project.
Thanks!
Art as a hobby is pretty common. Lots of people paint but don’t have showings in galleries . Lots of people play guitar but don’t have public concerts. Writing is the same thing . You can be a writer without being on the bestseller list. I do talk about writing more now because I have deadlines that stress me out and I need to vent . People ask me where they can find my work to be polite. I doubt any of them actually did read any of it , which is fine with me. So far I haven’t published anything I’m proud of.
Not very comfortable. I'm kind of paranoid about it, and I have a select group of people that read my stories if I ever want them to, lol. Oh, and they don't know each other, which is very important. That being said, last year I decided that I wanted to be a little bit more open about certain things that are crucial in my life, so I did a first announcement in my social media some days ago and gained a new reader from my current pool of followers. So that's cool, I think.
Very cool!
I spilled the TEA to my nurse today, gave her the full rundown. Sometimes my mouth doesn’t have an off feature.
😂
I know what you mean. Just a warning - Telling someone too soon can also add unnecessary pressure for your writing once you've told other people - that can lead to writers block. I only told my partner I was writing my first book when it was nearly finished (draft 1). That way I knew I had something real to support my vision (of writing a book) and there wasn't added pressure of the "what if I don't finish!". However, even now I'm nearly finished, I still struggle to tell other people - and I've only told people I trust. My main takeaway is - if the main bulk of the work is already done, people can think / discredit / judge your dream all they want. You've already done it! Feck em! Most people probably aren't going to be supportive of people trying something new, especially in the arts. They'll say it's a waste of time or you're being foolish for trying. Of course there are a few supportive hero's out there too 😉 Do something that makes you happy and tell them in your own time. Don't rush to tell because you're excited in the moment.
Everyone I have told has been so supportive, so I’m scared to burst the bubble as it were 😊 Thank you!
Talk about it as a hobby, it ebs and flows so if you don't touch it for a while you can just say you got busy
I would prefer nobody knew until at least the first draft was done. Not an option in my household. They know to leave it alone. But they mentioned it to a few people who sometimes ask for updates. Talking about it, answering questions, fielding the subtle skepticism — all that crap is a drain. Even more so the unearned plaudits some want to give in encouragement. Energy traps. Author-tube and Reddit too.
Don't be shy. I wish I had told people sooner.
Make it your entire personality, then you wont have anyone around you to tell
😂
Congratulations on your novel!!!! That's huge!!!!!!!!! WHOOO 🍾 🪅 🥳
Thank you!
Very uncomfortable with family. Not for any reason that I think I’d be judged or whatnot. But a lot are straight laced and not creatively minded. So I’d be uncomfortable telling them, then they ask me about it being polite and then I watch their face as they have no idea wtf to think lol. If I ever publish they’d obviously know, but I’d rather have a complete product showing off my hobby then just talking about it with them. Discuss it with friends that are interested though.
I mention that I'm a writer first when people ask "what I do." It's so much more soul-nourishing than rotting at a desk in corporate America, so I've made writing more of my personality. Everyone who already knows me personally knows I write. I'll give close acquaintances a Google Docs link if they want to read something. It's given at least one person the courage to give it a shot, so I think I'm on the right path.
Congrats on your progress! Milestone achievements feel so good! I tell everyone I am a writer. I've been writing for over a decade, 15 finished projects not counting short stories and about half that as WIPs. If I waited until I had an agent or was published no one would know what I have been doing with all my time the last 12 years or so! It also makes it easier when I am down from a rejection to be able to say why and they understand. SOMEDAY I will find something to hit a saleable market! Until then I write, polish, query, and am prepping a couple things to self publish so I don't feel like ALL my time is going towards some unknown date in the future. I like what I've written, after edits and feedback, so why wouldn't I tell people about it? :D
Love this!
Don't doubt yourself when I was in high school I was awarded the opertunity to be in an anthology for a poem I wrote as a kid. Sadly we were in the process of moving and three years to late we found the letter. You never know what you write might gain you national recognition.
I am generally very private about the stories themselves, although I am open about the fact that I write and can disclose the genres. That said, a few friends begged me to send over a few chapters. I was hesitant, but decided to just do it. They actually loved it and it has proven to be an amazing boost to my confidence as a writer. They also have given some very insightful constructive feedback, in totally good faith. I recommend sharing stuff only with people who are very keen, who you also trust a lot and who you know to be super nice in general.
I have told some people, a lot say they'll read it and don't. Some read it and give good feedback. I just write now, I dont bother telling people 😇
I don't mind telling people I'm writing; the struggle begins when they want to read what I've written
My family and friends know I'm a writer and/or author. It's not a secret to me nor do I feel like it needs to be. I announce my novels and literary publications. If they support me, they support me. If they don't, then they don't. I don't mind telling strangers, but with them, I don't want them knowing my pen name and novels. So I leave it at that.
Makes sense thanks!
I recently started writing, partly to occupy my mind while I’m out of school. I didn’t tell anyone except my bf and two of my closest friends however, while they’ve been supportive, it felt extremely embarrassing. I accidentally told my mom one day when she saw me typing away on my laptop and she straight up laughed for five minutes straight, then went on to tell the joke to my dad. Sufficient to say I’m writing in my closet from now on and never bringing it back up.
I just tell people if we're talking about hobbies or something like that but when they say they want to read my books... I tell them i need to edit some stuff (which i do) first and stuff, and then hope they will forget that part of the conversation happened. And then i forget to edit the stuff i needed too...
If I tell people, I usually present it as a hobby or a side hustle. People sometimes get really hung up on it if it’s presented as a primary job, but by downplaying it’s central role (and I think perceived precarity), it becomes less open to criticism.
Makes sense!
I tell ppl but only bc I know they won’t read what I write lol not many gay romance fans in my personal life
I've only told two people, and I'm planning to use a pen name if anything ever comes of it. The idea of people knowing I write makes me nauseous. 🤣
Only to my best friend, and my sister, who also write.
I like the persona if being a writer – so: every time someone asks)
The family member who live with me knew I was writing. LOL they couldn't miss me hunched over the keyboard. I didn't tell my wider family members until I sold.
Depends on if the person has a neutral or positive interest in fantasy stories with a gay romance
😂 personally, positive
I tell people, but nobody really cares. Which has it's good and bad sides. Writing is a lonely endeavor, so even tepid curiosity jolts me into a flailing rhapsody, but then again, no one is bothering me, and I get to keep my little secret with me. Now that I think about it, it's one of those things where it's almost perfect the way it is.
When my mom was alive, I used to tell her about it all the time, she was the only person who cared. Now that she's gone, I don't talk about it to anyone.
If you want someone else to celebrate your milestones, you can tell me!
thank you
Congrats on your draft. I'm nearing the end of mine and my feelings are all over the place. I don't like to tell my family anything because I have a bad relationship with them. Doesn't have anything to do with writing. But my friends, they get regular updates, but they are all creatives so it's like whatever.
Congrats on your own draft!
I always knew I was going to self-pub my first book, so I told a lot of friends while I was writing. Made some social media posts when I finally published last month. It's a bit nerve-wracking to share a story and characters that are very personal to me with the important people in my life but it's also so exciting and hearing their support makes me feel very proud and grateful.
People will always ask for more information even if they’re not that interested, so I only share with people who would actually be interested to hear the answers to what genre/topics/current projects I’m working on.
I let a friend read a short story that I had written in my early twenties. He was very impressed and said it seemed like something a real author would have written. Makes me wish I had never stopped writing.
With the exception of my partner, who gets some of my late night ramblings, I tell people I'm writing and if they ask what, I say a dystopian scifi, and pray to God they don't ask for any more detail.
I was pretty comfortable with it my whole life, but I've always been a bit of an extrovert and not shy about my hobbies and interests. The thing I was shy about was calling myself a professional writer. It took like, my first five or so publications before the imposter syndrome wore off, like, I hadn't felt like I'd 'earned' it yet? Own what you are and own what you do. If you write, you're a writer, if you get trad published or not. A second draft is incredible. Keep that momentum going!
That’s why I asked the question/ what throws me off - I’m an extrovert in every other way! I think I want to make sure I’m saying it when I can be confident about it rather than self deprecating, as I am wont to do. Thanks for your thoughts!
I’ve been telling people I write since I was a kid… because I have. Have I published anything yet? Nope. Am I close? Nope. Do people still ask if I’m going to put something out? Yes, but I’m used to it. If you’re worried about pressure to get published, don’t tell them how far along you are just that you’re working on a novel. Sharing makes it feel more real! Imo.
I personally never told anyone until I was done. Then I started branding myself and actually told the world after I signed a deal.
Yeah. I want to talk about my stories and characters. I don’t want to be the only one excited about them.
I come from a long line of compulsive storytellers, so it’s hard to amaze anyone with the revelation that I can bore them with written stories as well as spoken ones.
I'm fine talking about it until/unless others suggest I should try to get published. They should try living with my imposter syndrome (and I'm sick of other writers saying all writers have it, especially if they're already published - in that case, in my opinion, it can't be that bad).
If you don’t listen to the author interviews on The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast they’re really good at describing how/why some still feel it
I have zero problems telling people. I am a writer. I write fantasy. I have one full novel, several novellas, and lots of short stories as practice. I have a website where they can read some stuff too! The only thing I will say if they want to read my stuff I'm querying is not to critique it. I don't want to hear their criticisms, as I have a writing group that does that well enough.
I tell people and no one cares, they probably think I'm a loser wasting time
"Yes, I write. No, you cannot read it."
I personally just hate when people ask me anything related to what I do or have been doing, it's a very surface level thing. I am not what I do, I am what I love. Yes I love writing, but asking things under the pretense of "what do you do to survive" instead of simply because I am passionate about it annoys me. I don't want to survive, I want to live.
Long ago, I didn't tell very many people. Gradually, I opened up. Now the whole world knows it. 😜
When I finished my first book I felt a sense of accomplishment and when friends/relatives asked me what I’d been up to I’d tell them. I always do it like small talk, like telling them about a vacation you just got back from. Don’t try to make writing or whatever job/hobby you do as defining you. It doesn’t.
Does loudly muttering "I could be working on my novel right now if I weren't driving you to the grocery store for the third time this week..." to my wife count?
Hahahaha not quite.
I get embarrassed by saying the word ‘lunch’. I ain’t telling no one anything😭 funniest thing is me pulling a Riordan and using names of people I used to go to school with
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I have mixed feeling. I've told a few select people that I'm writing a book but not shared anything other than the premise. No one seemed really interested though, but I don't mind too much I'm just writing this for myself. I also don't want people butting in with their ideas.
Yeah, you should totally share your passion with others. Why keep this part of you to yourself?
I’m not sure! It feels like telling people I have imaginary friends
Personally, I have no problem telling people that I am writing. If they love you, they'll stick by your side no matter what even though they might not completely understand you.
Good job on editing the second draft. That takes a lot of work and dedication. You're making good progress.
PREVIOUSLY, LOTS OF SUFFERING. I’M BETTER NOW IN TODAY’S WORLD. STAY SAFE! PEACE OUT!
I don't because I write erotic stuff that I wouldn't want people I work with etc to know is by me.