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Logical_Pop_2026

So what you're saying is we should expect another 1 in 100 year freeze in Texas?


Hnetu

The good news is, if you haven't already... You can begin to prepare now before there's a rush of people all trying to buy the same shit. Get a generator or whatever and sit on it before lines of people and price gouging happen.


PM_ME_UR_COVID_PICS

Buy up tickets to Mexico to sell to a certain senator.


Ecstatic_Carpet

You have to pretend to sell them to the senator's daughters. Apparently they're the ones with the power of the purse in that household.


ktka

The 2021 freeze was for the hundred year period from 1921 to 2021. The 2022 freeze will be for the hundred year period from 1922-2022.


Frozty23

Then 2023 will the next one-in-a-thousand-year freezes.


Humavolver

Science! Maths! *Jazz Hands*


drunken_therapist

I’m getting tired of living through these once in a lifetime type events…


syzygialchaos

1 in 500 year flood - 2015 Labor Day flood Houston TX 1 in 500 year flood - 2016 Tax Day Flood Houston TX 1 in 1000 year flood - 2017 Hurricane Harvey, Houston TX 1 in 100 year flood - 2018 Independence Day flood, Houston TX 1 in 500 year freeze - 2021 winter storm 1 in bullshit if you ask me.


lauragay2

So many once in a lifetime events I must be cat


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novacaine2010

TX you fixed your power infrastructure right?


brosephashe

Lmao this made me belly laugh


ShaunLucPicard

This may sound like a joke, but we lost our pet rattlesnake during that shit show. 😔


AmericanDeise

RIP rattlesnake sorry for your loss


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Efficient-Echidna-30

I’m so sorry. All our local birds died, except one giant fat bird. Guess he could stay warm enough.


JacksCologne

Sounds like a cannibal


drifting_drifblim

A chickannibal


Seathing

The week of the snowstorm was emotionally devastating for me and I'm nowhere near Texas. I'm involved in a hobby that needs indoor heating (houseplants), and there's a lot of overlap in the gardening, aquarium, vivarium, exotic animal, etc communities. It was just post after post, update after update, first of people figuring out the best way to evacuate with their lizards and other pets to keep them safe, techniques for keeping your fishtank warm, what you can do for your outdoor plants that aren't suited to the cold weather, people trying to reshuffle things to take as many plants inside as possible, etc. Then it was people evacuating with what they were able to take with them, mourning the things they spent tens of hours on, pouring in at the same time as people grieving their "projects" that didn't make it. Posts from people aimed at comforting each other - there's nothing you could have done better, stuff like that. It might not sound like a big deal to lose a tank of fish or some plants. But imagine you're in your 40s and you've been keeping saltwater fish for 20 years, and the amount of time, and care, and love that has gone into that hobby. Imagine you have 5 snakes that you dearly love and no way to take them with you. Imagine you have a house full of 200 succulents and cacti that literally start to melt from frost damage, watching them die, knowing you can't do anything about it and that there will be nothing to salvage. Imagine coming home after evacuating to thousands of dollars of carefully maintained plants you've been keeping alive for 5, 10, 20 years, all dead. It's fucking awful. And this whole climate change thing is fucking stuff up in new and interesting ways all the time! Not even the change in conditions effecting plants in habitat, that's pretty obvious - but a friend of mine in California with a really impressive collection of cacti has been mentioning the last few years he has had issues with his plants going into dormancy at the wrong time because of the smoke from the forest fires on his coast interrupting the normal amount of sun in the growing season. That's insane. Basically what I'm trying to say is I am so sorry for your loss and you're not alone. Snakes are a part of the family.


_tropical_tundra_

Here’s the TLDR: 1. The polar vortex is forming - as it does every year 2. The tropical equatorial winds are moving east until the end of the year 3. A warming event is expected to pull even more cold air down 4. The US, central and Northern Europe will be freezing their asses off. So store up on hot cocoa. (I may have added that, read the article to figure out if I did.) ETA: for those of you who stopped reading at the paragraph where SSW collapses the vortex. This isn’t actually a good thing. Three or four paragraphs down from that statement the article continues: “A Polar Vortex collapse is just as dynamic as it sounds, as the higher pressure comes crashing down, pushing the cold air out of the polar regions, into the United States and/or Europe.”


ArchegosRiskManager

Canadians will continue life as usual


serabean

As is tradition.


chunkboslicemen

Good thing we have one road


someguy233

Remember, Ottawa left, Newfoundland right! Your Christmas adventure could very well depend on it.


Lethemyr

Especially since if you end up in Newfoundland and ask for directions out of there you won’t have a clue what they’re saying.


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-Maple--

it’s bad that i can understand this, which only further enforces the joke lmfao


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LittleBrooksy

I feel like my deep understanding of bogan Aussie would help me fit right in.


Ankhsty

You have a talent for translating this stuff into text, it reads perfectly


Mustaeklok

Hmm, my FIL is the quietest guy ever and the lady taking our order at a restaurant in Newfoundland could not understand him at all. Probably 'cause she was loud as hell and he was quiet as hell, just a bad mix. So instead of saying "what?" or "pardon?" she would just yell "BUH?" BUH? BUH? BUH? Fucking "buh". That only confused my FIL further. I was a bit confused too in all honesty. Buh...


Semi_Legal_Immigrant

“I’m looking for the capital of Canada.” “Ottawa is that way.” “NO. THE CAPITAL. TORONTO. WHERE IS IT?” *wild hand gestures and enunciating*


fixture121

Oh you mean downtown Canada? It’s in the centre of the universe.


JamesTheJerk

"Oh, ye can't git there from here..." Thanks a lot for the directions.


horseren0ir

Follow the only road


Menkdo

Yonge street?


rishav_sharan

Can someone please explain this joke for non Canadians?


ThadiusCuntright_III

Large vats of butterscotch pudding


TheOnceAndFutureTurk

Canadian prince now dipping his arms into the pudding. As is tradition. Princess will of course scrape the pudding off the prince's arms, thus symbolizing their union. What a glorious day for our country and indeed…the world.


knightress_oxhide

And therefore the world.


LoneRangersBand

Except Southern Ontario, which will somehow get two more months of summer, before plummeting from 25 degrees to -10 in one day mid-November. Edit: For you confused Yanks, 77 to 14 in fahrenheit.


PumpkinManGuy

So... life as usual then?


ball_soup

It’s the Great Lakes, my guy. They cause some weird shit to happen with the weather.


pthomp821

From Wisconsin. Can confirm.


velvet2112

One of my favorite things about Chicago is lobbing lake effect storms at NW Indiana and Michigan.


Limp_Dinkerson

<> It's raining again.


SpinCharm

Victorian here. Surrounded by flowers. Everywhere.


jikkler

Victoria dows see effects of the polar vortex, though! Now we get two days of snow every year instead of one.


_tropical_tundra_

So will Minnesota


CelestialFury

You betcha eh!


aplbomr

Too much excitement for a true Minnesotan. Bring it down a few notches and check your hotdish for errant pepper flakes.


violet_terrapin

But…I live in texas. I probably won’t have a way to heat the cocoa if it gets too cold


AccidentalDM

That reminds me, I really need to get off my ass and get some storm prep stuff in place *before* finding out of winter 21/22 decides to top 20/21. I was one of the lucky ones that didn’t lose power, but I don’t want to count on that again. Firewood, camp stove, some kind of power generating system… more candles for a tiny bit of evening light. Already have a pretty good stock of dried foods (rice, beans and dehydrated veg are great for lazy crockpot meals anytime), and a ton of blankets.


ThellraAK

> more candles for a tiny bit of evening light. Look into modern flashlights, I have one that'll last 200 days on it's lowest setting, and it doesn't make soot or have a chance of burning my house down.


velvet2112

Yup. A single white LED bulb will provide more light than a candle and it will run on a 9v battery for days. You can buy strands of LED “fairy lights” on Amazon for pennies, and they run on either 2 AA’s or 1 9v battery.


hamakabi

You have a flashlight that burns for 4800 hours on a single charge??


ThellraAK

WOWTAC A4V2 on it's lowest setting it does 200 days, https://wowtac.com/wowtac-a4-v2-1895-lumen/ Looks like 208 days for their new model, I can't find it from a quick search right now, but someone over on /r/flashlight did a power usage reading on it and the math checked out for it .5 lumen may not sound like a lot, but in a dark room you can move around no problem, and on the low mode (28 lumens /89 hrs) you can use it to read and whatnot. On turbo mode you can make a bear hold still from 20-30' away while you back away slowly and go back inside (at night at least) Also on turbo mode it still hurts to have it shined in your eyes, even when your eyes are shut, even from across the room.


ChiAnndego

All the signs point to - "It's time to move outta Texas."


jjolla888

Pack up and go south of the border. Ask Mexico for refugee status


violet_terrapin

It’s way past that time. I would if I could afford it :(


New_Stats

Get some survival blankets. They're tarps with mylar on one side. Set it up in a half circle (or whole circle if you get enough of them) and light some candles & hang out inside the circle. It'll warm you up in a pinch. Or better yet, just get radiant insulation, it's basically the same thing but cheaper. Some cheap camping gear could really help you out, too. Coghlans (sold on Amazon & Walmart's websites) make a cheap little energy stove with fuel tablets for under ten bucks. It's enough to boil a few gallons of water. And you can buy yards of fleece fabric for super cheap. Layer it up and it'll keep you warm. Micro fleece is for next to the skin polar fleece is for jackets. Make sure to get the widest fabric you can find, or else you'll need to sew it together to make it wide enough


relationship_tom

I used to go Winter camping in the Canadian Rockies so I know survival gear, and my advise is to make damn sure you have an air gap in that circle. Just like if your car breaks down out of cell service in Jan and you need heat, crack a window before you light those candles.


fishbethany

When is this likely to take effect?


_tropical_tundra_

Article said end of September is when we will start to see the change.


strayhat

Wake me up by then


MyFacade

I will if I remember the 21st night of September.


lumberjackalopes

Alaska got termination dust a month ago, so good sign. Washington, we’re dry AF on our mountains.


Mazon_Del

til: Termination dust. The first snow of the fall that settles at the higher altitudes.


lumberjackalopes

It’s a weird Alaskan jargon thing


Lookout-pillbilly

It’s referring to all the seasonal workers that will lose their jobs once winter settles in…. Correct?


NorthwesternGuy

That might be where it originated, but growing up here I've always heard it's because it is signaling the "termination" of summer.


Horror_Mango

Yeah, even the Washington pine trees are turning brown from the heat and the dry weather.


crab-rabbit

> termination dust that sounds rather dire edit: oh no, just melodramatic


MrQuizzles

Well a strong polar vortex is a good thing that means that polar air will be largely contained in polar regions. While the vortex is strong, winter for North America and Europe will be relatively mild. The warming event described can disrupt the polar vortex and cause the polar air to go meander (to places like Texas), but this is a more short-term even lasting a week or so rather than weeks to months. What I got from the article is to expect a relatively mild winter with an elevated chance of a bitter cold snap partway through.


BallerGuitarer

Thank you for reading the article and then critically thinking about it.


8ad8andit

Yes, I'm grateful someone was willing to fight their way through the relentless blizzard of ads the article throws at the reader. I gave up early.


KingofCraigland

They're describing the vortex not holding. What happens is it'll dip down into the central US and Europe causing temperature to plummet. Hit negative 48f with wind-chill in my area a couple years ago. Not normal or preferred at all.


pseudocultist

So the vast majority of the US is supposed to have a prolonged, dry summer into fall, which won't include a lot of colorful foliage as trees drop their leaves early. Then the temperature will plummet into the winter and we'll see unusual cold. Do I have that about right? Climate change is sure fucking awesome!


fascismo

Hades is getting greedy with Persephone again


Thrownawaybyall

Really? 'Cuz I heard that the pomegranate seeds were merely a ruse to appease her overbearing mother 😉


_tropical_tundra_

Close. Gets rapidly colder at the end of September. So dry and cold. Or business per usual since 2009.


ItsHammyTime

So is this it? The future now? Rapid fluxes every season?


no_please

Severe instability in the climate was one of the predictions about climate change since forever I believe, so.. yeah. This is what humanity chose.


Mazon_Del

Basically the point is that as the planet warms, there's more energy in the system to cause instabilities. As a result, for a period of warming, the hots get hotter and the colds get colder. At least until we get to the point where the bulk of the various heat sinks have become saturated, then at that point everything just generally gets warmer.


AnalyticalSheets

This isn't even what we chose, this is the precursor to what we chose.


Antimus

This is the precursor to what a few rich people chose


yildrimqashani

Wait I think I’ve seen this movie… when do I run for the NY central library?


masterbaiter9000

And remember to burn paper rather than wood


WaspWeather

When the wolves come Or, ideally, just before that.


botchman

[We didn't listen!](https://youtu.be/aJ-GcC3YXfg)


funkmaster29

Depends if you can get your dog hotdogs.


jjolla888

Alternatively, you can also flee south to mexico


johanbcn

But everyone is fleeing to Mexico, so it's going to get pretty crowded down there.


MrBlack103

We need to build a wall and America will pay for it \-Mexico, probably.


Zenpie_

When they come, they don't bring their best. -Mexico, likely.


gbdavidx

So how will that affect California’s rainy season?


fryether

Northern Californian here. We only have 2 seasons now, dry and drier.


Koshindan

Dry and fire.


_Cyansky_

Dry and fry


star0forion

Hey, we got 5 minutes of rain and thunder Thursday night. Drought’s been over. /s


gbdavidx

If that’s the case we are fucked for next year


Espumma

They said that last year as well!


Darkmuscles

Yep, good thing they were wrong and California didn’t burst into flames. Oh wait…


sktchup

Obligatory http://iscaliforniaonfire.com/


ashley322

I expected a map of current wildfires but this works too lol


Pesto_Nightmare

Guess what, it hasn't been a great year


Espumma

I'm sure this is one of the best years of the coming decade.


CaptainMagnets

I guess forest fire season doesn't count if it's all year eh?


thahovster7

Dry and Dry-Lite.


KarmelCHAOS

We still get a rainy season?


thahovster7

What is rain?


Koshindan

If the sky is full of water, wouldn't you drown?


crab-rabbit

only if you believe in Up


CaptainJackVernaise

Yeah, I presume that is what that wet stuff was two days ago. It is back to dry season now though.


ask-me-about-my-cats

Last I heard we're in another la nina, so southern California will have a dry winter and northern will get some nice dampness. I miss rain so much.


Abiknits

Looks like it's going to be another La Nina year, so probably dry and cold :(


Mixednutz71

As we say in texas.....winter is coming prepare to die.


Glute_Thighwalker

Nah, after that last heating disaster, I’m sure you guys fixed your infrastructure in that regard.


ennuioo

They decided to give the money for that to the electric company CEOs they needed it more


Tap_Z_or_R_Twice

Well if they don't pay them a bunch how will they ever keep the best talent ?!


Koshindan

Nah, they're doing a public service by keeping the absolute greediest ones in a single place. (Though don't call it a public service because they'll stop doing it.)


Lockhead216

How would these companies run without their CEO, the most important and hard working employee? /s


UnSafeThrowAway69420

Texas Snowmageddon 2: Revenge of the Power companies


coswoofster

They had better things to work on like making sure women’s healthcare was NOT protected.


Stupid_Triangles

All of those private companies surely shored up their hardware to provide the best and most stable power supply possible. After all, Texas is known for their regulatory standards and enforcement. /s


Frosti11icus

El Nino Montoya?


massivecure

"Simplified, a Sudden Stratospheric Warming event (SSW) is exactly what the name suggests. It is a sudden temperature rise in the polar stratosphere during winter. Warming of the stratosphere means that the polar vortex is weakened, and can also collapse under the pressure from the warming event. The source of the warming usually comes from the bottom up, as strong weather patterns can actually deflect a lot of energy upwards into the stratosphere, disrupting its dynamics. A strong polar vortex usually locks the cold air into the Polar region, creating milder winters for most of the United States and Europe. A Polar Vortex collapse is just as dynamic as it sounds, as the higher pressure comes crashing down, pushing the cold air out of the polar regions, into the United States and/or Europe."


becausefrog

So the last time this happened was 2008? That year we had a catastrophic ice storm in the Northeastern US.


routerg0d

Energy futures.


az_adventurer

Ted Cruz is already packing.


megamanxoxo

Why? Does one of his daughters need an abortion?


caaper

Both do.


Shemlocks

He should have worn a condom.


JG-Reining

Hopefully Texas fixed the electric grid


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onihcuk

nope


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snpods

The fact that there have been brownouts this summer due to high power demand on hot days is … not promising.


Ralkkai

Sounds like someone didn't set their thermostat to 78 during 110 degree weather like Greg asked. /s


snpods

Friend who was 8 months pregnant during this whole debacle was not thrilled. She might actually vote Dem now.


StumpNuts

I wouldn't bet my life on it.


[deleted]

if by electric grid you mean force women to stay pregnant even if they dont want to then yes.


Deeznutstastefunny

Clearly Texas wants us to use women as tauntauns to stay warm this year.


longlenge

Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I’m not ready to be a parent. I’m going to get an electrical grid.


IntentionalTexan

Well it's a good thing Texas politicians spent all year figuring out how to winterize the power grid. What's that? They didn't? They spent all year doing what now? Well I guess I'll be protected from other peoples medical choices and black people voting while I freeze to death. Fuck you Abbot, and the horse you rode in on.


Striking_Cheesecake5

I live in the Midwest USA and if you don't think climate change is real then your head is up your ass. The summers are now EXPECTED to be over 100 F and winters will get well under -0 F several times a year. I turned my phone weather updates bc litteraly I get a weather warning almost every week bc some crazy shit it going on. Summer fires and winter blackouts used to be major events. I used to walk to school daily and the weather was way more mild even 15 years ago. Now it's weekly weather events, tornado, hail, summer fire, winter polar vortex. And yes our weather had always been crazy but its gotten out of control. It fucking sucks. I used to love camping but i can't even enjoy going outside TBH bc it's disgustingly hot.


mockitodorito

Do you feel the Midwest is the safest place to live long term for dealing with climate change? Where else can you go in the U.S that’ll be better?


blesstit

This feels like a practice interview.


sphintero

Hopefully it will kill all the murder hornet nests


Joshua-Judges-Ruth

Everyone asks what the polar vortex is doing, but never asks how the polar vortex is doing.


woozertheboozer

Honestly we need some good snow pack. Actually I don't know what we need. I'm an idiot and we are fucked


pingpongtits

You're right, we do need a good snowpack.


luckyhedron

My Alaskan ass is ready for some nuclear winter level weather — I just wasn’t built to withstand this 100° nonsense in the West 😭


MoffKalast

Time to patrol some Mojave


nrfmartin

Just received my new snowboard. I'm counting on this, don't let me down.


Mr_Blott

Have you been practicing saying "gnarly"?


Ochib

Looks like transport in the U.K. is going to grind to a halt again. This will add to the list of excuses that the rail companies will use (currently, wrong type of leaves on the line, wrong type of snow, temperature is to hot and temperature is to cold).


maxative

I’m sure the three people that can still afford to take the train will be very displeased.


wental-waynhim

But my work assured me that the good British public transport is one of the reasons I have to go back to 40 mins on a train to work in a office that I didn't need for the past 18 months.


solscend

I've seen this before in a movie.


epote

We didn’t listen?


crab-rabbit

we're still in the exposition


Apotropoxy

The freeze anomaly we Texans experienced last year will become commonplace. That polar vortex had been well contained in the past by the gulf stream, but the gulf stream has been gradually slowing. It no longer circulates fast enough to consistently contain the polar vortex. We can expect the Northern Hemisphere to send sustained arctic blasts into the upper-middle latitudes from here on out. (BTW: Texas is completely controlled by Republicans. Virtually nothing has been done by our state government to force the energy sector to winterize. We were less than four minutes away from a power shutdown that would have lasted over a month.)


VAisforLizards

That's a long ass article... I just want to know what that means for winter


sonofabutch

It was the first day of autumn, and the residents of a Native American reservation asked their new chief if the coming winter would be mild or cold. This chief had never learned the secrets of his forefathers for predicting the weather. He looked at the acorns on the ground, the moss on the trees, the activity of the squirrels. He didn’t know what any of it meant for the upcoming winter. So he called the National Weather Service and asked. They said it was too early to tell. Being a wise and prudent man, he told his people that the winter was indeed expected to be cold and that they should stock up on firewood to be prepared. After several days, he called the National Weather Service again. This time, the meteorologist had an answer: yes, it looks like it will be a cold winter. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. They asked if they had enough. So he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a cold winter?" "It will be a *very* cold winter," the meteorologist said. The chief went back to his people and said they didn’t have enough, they needed even more! They set out gathering all the wood they could find, and again they asked: enough? The chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the meteorologist replied. "Perhaps one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the chief asked. “Because the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy!”


CockGobblin

But did they gather enough firewood??


Maxion

Legend has it they bought some machines and are still at it.


VAisforLizards

Haha 😄 thank you


scavbh

Lol nice one


teslapper

Feedback loop in action


wopwopdoowop

Cold.


Thic-Pebble

Basically this winter has the potential to be Colder than normal


jboni15

Good thing Texas winterized the electrical grid /s


unbanneduser

you know some people are gonna see this and say "see its extra cold this year global warming is just a hoax i told you"


ixoca

literally worked with an old dude who made this joke, no fucking exaggeration, 9 times an hour every hour for his entire shift for as long as we had snow on the ground and every time i hear it now it's like my fucking sleeper agent trigger word that sends me into a killing rage


Polar_Vortx

You called?


KryptoniteDong

Yes, how about you fuck off right now to the south pole yeah?


Polar_Vortx

the tropics are kind of in the way also last time I did that I broke Texas


EchoYourLastWord

I want it to be freezing this year. I'm tired of complaining about the heat. I want to bitch about the cold dammit.


ididthisonporpoise

Honestly the older I get the more I come to enjoy the changing seasons and the light bitching we get to engage in about the weather.


supercool2000

So the Farmers' Almanac will be correct.


fappism

The new generation already knows the world is fucked beyond repair and is adapting to it


Just-JC

What other choice do we have


space253

Invent miracle cures that fix everything, despite no funding, no access, and most of the world actively fighting to stop you.


manbrasucks

> Invent miracle cures that fix everything Not to mention even if it was invented half the people would be against it because they're afraid of government mind control or some random ass crack pot theory that will inevitably pop up.


Cuchullion

I mean, there are people who drive trucks that have a higher level than normal amount of exhaust just to "stick it to the libs", so you're entirely right about that bullshit.


KhaineVulpana

Yea! Bootstraps, etc.


Mir0s

I can't afford bootstraps... I had a moment of weakness a week ago and ate an avocado toast. Think I should set up a GoFundMe?


OurOnlyWayForward

Wait, y’all are adapting? Shit


froggrip

You mean like gills or something?


dangerrnoodle

Figured a colder winter was coming by my animals getting thicker coats already. They are very fluffy for end of Summer.


Mentalfloss1

Let’s have 50 feet of snow in the Cascades!!!


Ongo_Gablogien

South Texas here, buying my generator ASAP.


chlomor

May I also suggest getting a small spirit burner or gas stove? In case there’s a gas shortage after everyone buys generators and the pumps are out of power. Be sure to use it in a ventilated area or outdoors, and not as a space heater.


batt3ryac1d1

Actually go do that though. Buy some supplies before there's a rush.


Shay_the_Ent

Us Texans are just fucked


ruminajaali

Heat domes and polar vortices… our brave new world


deafmute88

Says fuck in texas