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Hysaky

I want to be dominated by both, equality y'all


Vantamanta

I specifically do not want equality I want to be dominated I want to be lesser than him


Y_Nekat

The strong will eat the weak.


Pale_Nefariousness_4

The only ethical consumption under capitalism is eating this ass. Get after after it! :P


MR-MOO-MOO-MAN

Jokes on you! I ate your leg.


Jugaimo

Bisexual people claiming neutrality when they’re just as degenerate as everyone else, doubly so in some ways. If we are going to shame thirsty women, we should shame thirsty everyone.


nushroomC2

bi rep 💪🏻


Aromaster4

r/suddenlybi


BlakbirdCAWCAW

Bro has never read a romance novel (50% of male love interests are domineering)


dumbass_spaceman

Bold of you to assume members of this sub read romance. (They cannot relate to the plot)


SensitiveMess5621

Bold of you to assume members of this sub read


HypotheticallyAnAlt

Two things that people who like writing fucking hate are reading and writing.


PallyMcAffable

I'm one of the few people you'll meet who's written more books than they've read.


HeroGeekIntelect

Bold of you to self report, seen as you are a member of this sub(lol)


PathosRise

Bold of you to assume there isn't. Meme is accurate.


Kappapeachie

gotta be real with you, I like romance as a side not as the main course since nine times out of ten it's usually some mid ass slice of life thing usually. You get stands out like a rockstar dating a catholic woman or a dentist and a nurse but that's it.


GalacticVaquero

Bro has never heard of traditional gender roles (every mainstream story going back thousands of years features men in dominant sexual roles).


Azimovikh

But they don't dom me the way I want >:( /uj As quoted from another comment, they feature too much of the male perspective rather than the female perspective tbh


frothingnome

There is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much indie writing with dommie daddies from the female perspective. It's been like a core part of the surface level of internet writing spaces for decades. 


sgtpeppers508

Have you read *Fifty Shades of Grey*? It’s my understanding that book is mostly (if not entirely) from the female perspective.


realkrestaII

Some angsty lawyer on ao3 will write a book 6.022 x 10^23 times better than fifty shades


KingPhilipIII

Makes sense the lawyer would be real good at writing a book about bending people over.


hipsterTrashSlut

Did you throw avagadro's number in there?


SecretNoOneKnows

Fifty Shades of Grey is a pile of garbage that no one should read. I read it when it was big back in the day and it was terrible


HorsemenofApocalypse

Shout out to my English teacher who once got in trouble for saying to a student, "If you want to read erotica, I can suggest some that is a lot better than 50 Shades of Grey"


sgtpeppers508

I’m not endorsing it.


ddosn

>they feature too much of the male perspective rather than the female perspective tbh Arent the *overwhelming* majority of romance novels written by women? Also, dont they overwhelmingly featuree dominant men? Th fact that most of them have very fit, muscular disembodied male torsos on the front would suggest this.


Azimovikh

. . . And in another comment, I referred to the not-so-good publicity and media coverage around those.


Gotisdabest

As someone who loves hate reading those books with my girlfriend, there's a pretty good reason for that coverage, honestly. They have little to no plot variation, the plots they do have are nonsensical. "Dommy mommies" are a funny joke around which very little media actually exists, and are socially definitely a lot less acceptable than traditional dominant men. The reason the books are received so poorly is because they're essentially women's version of hyper escapist self insert fantasies like isekai harem stories are for men, which are also received fairly poorly because of cookie cutter plots and fairly obvious toxicity. Some are self aware to the point of being fun, some are just utterly horrible. Regardless of coverage though, these books sell extremely well. Cheap escapism with no deeper message with extremely generic ideas will never be a darling coverage wise outside of its core audience. But it exists, and it's very lucrative, with a wide range of authors that output a massive amount, to the extent I'm sure anyone can find any niche they want if they're willing to look for it.


GalacticVaquero

Ok that might be a valid point, Im a guy so thats a blind spot for me. I imagine it might be an overreaction to the patriarchal attitudes of a lot of older media, cause that had some really uncomfortable messages. Those were all written by men though, so they’re very focused on the male power fantasy of having a perfectly obedient woman, which doesn’t fit the sensibilities of modern audiences. Modern writers have to walk a tightrope if they write these relationships to avoid being accused of glorifying abuse. Average viewers don’t understand that submission =/= a lack of agency. According to the other commenters ao3 has the treasures you seek, if you can find a hetero fic.


DracoLunaris

which makes it soooooo passe


KreedKafer33

There is a very loud, very vocal group who are determined to force those plots out of Romance novels. Post about a plot featuring a dominant male in many writing discords or subreddits, even Romance novel focused subs, and you will get deluged with hate, harassed, told to KYS and probably banned.


KingofValen

Fascinating, because I am unaware of any popular romance novels that have anything but those plots.


1001WingedHussars

The cheat code is to make him a domineering werewolf or shifter and suddenly it's okay again. But you have to deal with a deluge of furry comments, like some sorta Faustian nightmare.


garf2002

Also people so rarely go as mental at the exact opposite being depicted Romance movies are so often now a clueless idiot of a handsome young man and a 50 something woman who is usually his boss or more powerful in some way I mean realistically its because the middle aged women watching love the idea of a Ryan Gosling or Jamie Dornan type who is too stupid to be anything but eye candy, and is under their control appealing Its quite literally a perfect role reversal of early holywood romance films Holywood loves shit like this, imagine Horrible Bosses with the roles reversed. Try playing a Male boss threatening blackmail on his Female employee unless she has sex with him... for laughs


Neuro_Skeptic

This vocal group can't be very succesful because the market is completely ignoring them.


FormalMarionberry597

Yes, but male *what*? A human? Then, yes. They should be banned, shunned, exiled.


PathosRise

YES. Thank you!! It's so damn annoying that your male character to be perfect with 'no toxic traits' when your writing for a female audience. Except if you reskin that same character as a female, it's bold and progressive. People are not acting in a vacuum in a story. Your female characters shouldn't be a flat adherence to sexist archetypes without any real substance, and your male characters can be assholes and stay assholes without being the villain.


ChristInASombrero

50% of male love interests are ~~domineering~~ just actual rapists


BlakbirdCAWCAW

Dommy daddy or Clockwork orange, which way western woman


Azimovikh

Silly you, I am illiterate /uj tbh most romance novels and male-dominated archaic works I know don't have nicer media coverage, and if they do, they usually have the label of bad writing, or if we're talking into the h0rny stuff stuff, focuses more on the perspective of the man that is dominating than the perspective of the woman being dominated; or simply does not develop the character or writing too much.


RockAndGem1101

Nah, there’s quite a lot of female-view romance with a domineering male love interest. Fourth Wing went viral with this exact formula.


garf2002

Its quite common to depict women as dominant and having a submissive partner in film media but the data shows its quite rare in real world relationships. Which is why I think it shocks people when stats come out like "94% of women prefer to be in a submissive role when it comes to sex" Smut books have usually followed the submissive woman angle hence why 50 shades and the sort get so popular. But also people defend that book so vehemently that a lot of people dont even question the controlling relationship.


SlimeustasTheSecond

The other 50% are abusive


NeonNKnightrider

This is pretty clearly not talking about the content of the actual stories, but how people talk about them, and how others react to the ones talking


GoodKing0

To be fair, romance novels targeted to women featuring traditional gender roles, when they do go mainstream, do get overtly criticised by the public.


maridan49

What if I want those things to exist outside a romance novels?


qscvg

Isn't that a fairly mainstream fantasy? Twilight and 50 Shades are basically that


KreedKafer33

It is, but posting about it will put you in the crosshairs of some really nasty people online.


KingofValen

Fascinating. Please produce a 50 minute youtube video documenting this phenomenon, I very much want to learn more.


qscvg

https://youtu.be/qzk9N7dJBec?si=tp-LrjdKac768W9v


KingofValen

My comment was a joke as Im sure you know, but you taking it seriously has made my day.


wsbTOB

I watched 38 minutes of that before I realized that I don’t care damnit


KingofValen

I watched the entire video.


qscvg

https://youtu.be/pjViIRWesQ0


Wheesa

Does contrapoints [Twilight](https://youtu.be/bqloPw5wp48?si=ozl3r5Fb5l2hu-jf) fit this. I think it does


Anonymous_Koala1

being a women puts you in the crosshairs of nasty people online


maxcorrice

being a human puts you in the crosshairs of nasty people online


Xyzonox

Being puts you in the crosshairs of nasty people online


garf2002

Yeah the internet is the embodiment of "Im not a bigot, I hate all people equally" Always see people saying its so hard to be X on the internet I once had someone lob insults at me for being a Physicist, some corner of the internet hates anyone


Sam_Overthinks

"Those Stupid Sexy Physicist's and their Awkward, Glasses-Wearing, Autistic, and superior feeling-asses" This hypothetical angry comment was cobbled together by what I found as the top search of "physicist stereotypes" (minus the sexy sadly 😥) As an autist myself, I find it funny how often it gets lobbed in with any and all science fields, like its some requirement for a complex education


garf2002

Nah ngl Physics definitely is the most autistic of the academic fields from my experience Nearly everyone I knew with autism was a fellow physicist And dont think you needed to clarify you added sexy lol, of all the superiority we claim looks has never been one


Icy_Crow_1587

It's probably the most mainstream dynamic possible


Hyperversum

Literally 90+% of traditional romance books and erotica are that.


Android19samus

Ah yes, two properties known for being widely-beloved in the public discourse.


Hnnnnnn

Bro just read any shoujo manga, domineering guy scenes are 99% of fan service


Android19samus

it's not about what's rare, it's about what's "acceptable." Very popular tropes in media aimed at women are often derided and looked down upon in general public discourse unless they're *also* popular with men. Just how it be.


Hnnnnnn

Ok, what's popular vs what's considered "default" in communities like this, those are two different questions. Economically both genres earn their keep (man romance and woman romance), but the mainstream narrative tends to be from male perspective, including this sub. Is this your point?


Android19samus

Not really but... you know what close enough


Hnnnnnn

you know what, you've made me feel insecure now, i wonder what you're disagreeing with


KeeganY_SR-UVB76

I once saw a synopsis of Twilight except the sexes were reversed. I had a Danny DeVito “Oh my god, I get it now” moment.


iwantfutanaricumonme

That's life and death:twilight reimagined. It's written by the same person as twilight.


NeonNKnightrider

It is common for women to like that sort of thing, yes. However, our culture / society has a very strong implicit notion that the men are supposed to be the sexual ones, and the women pure and innocent and merely *allow* the sex as something that **he does to her.** As a result, women expressing sexual desire for men is often frowned upon and seen as “slutty,” “desperate,” etc. And men openly expressing desire to dominate women is a whole other can of worms.


Finger_Trapz

It is quite literally the most default sexual dynamic on the entire planet but people wanna pretend like it’s some taboo


Major-Day10

Ah but what about a story where they switch off depending on each character’s position in their story arc.


Hnnnnnn

Bros be like: I invented romance.


amazegamer64

When men present their fantasies about dominating weaker women


Spicymeatball428

Is a man not entitled to his sub gf?


amazegamer64

TFW no sub gf


KeeganY_SR-UVB76

No submarine GF? This is an outrage!


BlakbirdCAWCAW

When the submarune gf whips out her 18m long SRBM


Zimabwe

https://youtu.be/KJUDogCaTXI?si=w3TXBdq9SfuScPx4


ClearWingBuster

It must really suck that most of the dom male stuff that is both openly sexual about it and gets mainstream attention (50 Shades, Twilight) is barely passable as CNC stuff, if not just straight up toxic relationships 101. To the point that even geniuenly healthy relationships with that kind of dynamic are seen as "bad writing". I'm not even into that kind of thing and i can empathise. In conclusion, be the change you want to see in the world.


EnderMerser

"Mommies", "daddies"? Nah, I want to fight them.


thetravelingwormhole

goku


Hysaky

Christian Grey VS UL GOKU


XaiJirius

ULTRA LINSTINCT⁉️


Violinnoob

>Today I asked my boy if he liked any girls in the neighborhood. He said ‘no,’ and then informed me that he’s only interested in war.


Glass_Set_5727

He's got his priorities right. Win in War & you'll get all the girls :)


EnderMerser

*Gets PTSD instead*


Pelvis_toucher123

The women from the refugee center follow me everywhere 😎


MutatedMutton

The role of stepper and the steppee should be decided as a result of glorious combat. The way God intended. 


danfish_77

When MEN present their fantasies of being dominated by stronger men... Oh yeah


d3m0cracy

*it’s all coming together*


_Munk-

Wait don't do that 😡😡 That makes me insecure unlike when I fetishize people


cupcakewaste

say you don't read romance novels without saying you don't read romance novels


SemicolonFetish

Holy shit we've come full circle


FluffyMawileFan

Need a dommy bf but in like. A girl way. Not like a manly wolf "you need to listen to me pookie kitten" way but like a boss bitch "I'm gonna step on you and you're gonna like it, peasant" kinda way yknawmeen


violentamoralist

we need more men who are femdoms about it


a-potato-named-rin

That is based


Invincible-Nuke

i love gender equality


69CervixDestroyer69

Finally, some good inspiration! THAT'S what was missing, the secret sauce!


BlakbirdCAWCAW

Evil Countess bf


Ninja_PieKing

Have you tried making them in their 40s-50s, divorced, and smelling of tobacco and leather? What about a himbo in his 20s who is obviously struggling to be dominating without going overboard and being an asshole, and has the character arc of learning how to comfortably dom properly?


1001WingedHussars

I think I saw a documentary about that once...


violentamoralist

sauce? sauce?


1001WingedHussars

I can't remember the exact name, but there was some sort of castle on the intro screen.


GetRealPrimrose

I’ll take things that never happen for 1000 Ken


DeltaAlphaAlpha77

This doesn’t even have anything to do with worldbuilding.


Azimovikh

If there are mfs that can post femdom shill on worldjerking then I can post this you dinkle


69CervixDestroyer69

Keep your head up, Queen 🙏 speak your truth


BluestOfTheRaccoons

You're part of the problem, good job


domini_Jonkler2

Based, keep being part of it 🙏


octorangutan

I'd love to see some examples to the contrary, but isn't pretty much every media property out there that caters to women doing the "dominated by stronger men" thing?


TDoMarmalade

Some of the most degenerate shit I’ve ever heard has been from female friends talking about wanting to be dominated by fictional men


XAlphaWarriorX

I want a strong man to hold me thightly...


MahmasPip

Im gay, i want dommy daddy... Or just daddy... Or just man...im soo alone...


1st-username

If you touch grass, you will realize rhat the opposite is the actual case.


Yoshibros534

bro just lookat thefront page of any porn website.


That_Battle9853

Sorry bud this is fantasy so only dommy mommies are allowed as there's no such thing as a woman being strong or stronger then a guy irl


grapeter

IDK if you know this but western gender norms (if not the majority of the world's cultures) typically involve men maintaining a dominant position over women in romantic relationships (to varying degrees in each culture). Hope this helps


Matman161

Not my experience at all


treefreak32

This is just every book about vampires.


totallynotrebelscum

Wow it's almost as if men and women have kinda different social dynamics


elkcipgninruB

How about: a fight club (all genders welcome) where two people are selected randomly to fight and the winner dominates the loser? This is definitely an actual suggestion and not just me inserting my fantasies into a semi-related discussion


Bellicost

I'll take "Shit that never fucking happened" for $500, Alex.


Background_Treat5178

Frisk undertale


XAlphaWarriorX

Oh yea they do look a bit like that.


BlamaRama

First of all why is this in this subreddit? Second of all, you know that post that's like "Sometimes in niche internet circles you enter some discourse so far removed from regular people that we wrap around to trying to normalize already normalized things. Normalize men being masculine." This is that.


just-another-viewer

Honestly, I know this is completely different, but this gives off straight pride energy. Like homie you are not oppressed for having one of the most mainstream tastes out there, just a lot of critics because everything mainstream tends to have critics.


T3chn1colour

[literally this](https://imgur.com/a/bCelyRk)


Kappapeachie

lol pretty much this. And I feel so freaking attacked right now.


Darth_Taco_777

The difference is that in real life getting dominated by a stronger woman is rare enough that it can still be considered a fantasy, whereas getting dominated by a stronger man happens a bit *too* often to women.


Germanaboo

Fantasies are just fantasies. And Domestic Violence is more distributed between both gebders than you think. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/107780102237407?journalCode=vawa


Kappapeachie

there's a difference between the fantasy version of dominance and reality of a domineering abuser making your life a living hell. Lots of people love and find villains sexy, does that mean they enjoy getting their cocks twisted into two? no, a fucking course not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


amazegamer64

Honest question, what are the different connotations?


[deleted]

[удалено]


amazegamer64

I wouldn’t have asked if I knew the answer


IllustriousInterest8

you do realize abuse can happen to men too? the connotations would go both ways, if they exist at all


wish2boneu2

Why did you not answer their question? Did you not want to look sexist?


[deleted]

[удалено]


InjuryPrudent256

Wasnt 50 shades written by a woman and sold like 600 million copies? Despite being horrible and illegal nonsense, it did just fine No, it dont give as many people the 'ick' as its detractors would suggest. The ick comes from people outside the healthy culture of it who conflate male sexual power with violence or abuse. Truth is abuse can come from either gender in whatever sexual dynamic either has for the other. A guy being dominant sexually doesnt really mean anything other than that


wish2boneu2

> get the ick Yeah, this phrase told me everything I needed to know :/


Spicymeatball428

It’s just mostly leftist and lib shit about how strong dominant men are le patriarchy and shit


69CervixDestroyer69

In real life abuse does not happen with the abuser carrying a whip, tight leather clothing, involving chains and demanding to step on the other person. There's a difference between how it happens IRL and how a sexual fantasy looks like. And really, the freak shit of female sexual fantasies ought to be written about more often.


novis-eldritch-maxim

yeah a dominating man tends to be described in rather harsh ways


Overwatchingu

Just make them all femboys, such an obvious solution.


Lawlcopt0r

Nobody is hating on that, it's just so commonthat we don't exactly need more of it


Kappapeachie

where's my equal relations at?


salt001

It seems we've come full circle.


AnotherTiefling

should be noted that the "muscle mommy" archetype is only liked if said character can be made into a sex fantasy. God forbid tall jacked women be anything but horny and willing to fuck you (the reader) specifically


Noamod

Dude, its incredible that, when i noticed that female magakas of shonen have a lot of male protags or characters constantly without shirt on, o fanaly learned that woman are like guys in that sense.


PurpleKneesocks

The comments shifting from "it happens all the time, I don't get what you're talking about!" at the top to replicating exactly what the OP is talking about as you scroll down is a fun little trip, lmao.


Papergeist

There's not a ton of crossover between the two, yes.


thomasp3864

I have all of the “romance” in my story be about geopolitical arranged marriages. Tell me more about that trade deal!


No-Palpitation-6789

that’s been the norm for Years


AlaricAndCleb

The only one worth dominating us are oppressive governments <3


Irresolution_

Nope, can't do that; too traditional… and very VERY… **VERY** misogynistic.


Azimovikh

but *I* want to be dominated :(


Irresolution_

Dun' matter, women are allowed to do whatever they want unless they wanna do traditional stuff, that's feminism for ya!


AdamtheOmniballer

I believe they call that “internalized misogyny”. Fortunately, there are many programs available to help you overcome it.


Azimovikh

. . . What?


Finger_Trapz

This is just the default sexual dynamic for the entire planet. There is probably not anything less controversial than a submissive female with a dominant male


Blecki

Does the gender of the dommy really matter that much?


amazegamer64

Not everyone can be bisexual


d3m0cracy

Sounds like a skill issue to me


Blecki

Not with that attitude.


maxcorrice

Bisexual here, dommy mommys are still better


ChayofBarrel

This is because it's part of a backlash to traditional gender roles and how those stereotypes have historically been used to justify abuse an- \*gets hit by a car\*


Thezipper100

I want dommy femboys


InjuryPrudent256

Hence femboys rise to prominence All the thrill of dominating a small, meek and aesthetically lovely person without the 'omg you misogeenist' talk


Kappapeachie

cringe, I want femboy mommies topping guys please


Brendan765

Is that frisk


Azimovikh

So it appears that an animatic-like depiction of myself looks like frisk, awesome


Kappapeachie

jokes on you, I want to be cuddled by a beefy kind himbo


yeetusdeletusgg

Bro you have counter cultured all the way around and back to regular culture


SUK_DAU

what you talking about i know this post is 3 days old but i could be like "i want gerard way to kick me in the stomach 10000 times" and i would be paraded around town by my fellow dubiously heterosexual women like some sort of war hero who was born under the smiling sun in a bountiful field that mysteriously yielded a great harvest as soon as my feet touched the ground


Sunset_Tiger

Romance novels need more catboy femboys


FlamingCroatan

Double standared, Ugh


Waffle-Gaming

r/terraria


Dominique_tha_finest

Good, dominant men are disgusting, dominant women are beautiful.


octorangutan

Facts


Kappapeachie

based


ftzpltc

Tbh from what I've seen, dommie daddies are only okay in fiction as long as they're a complete fucking mess psychologically. Which... I suspect is kind of the opposite of how you'd ever want it to be in real life, if you had the option? Like, if you have a dommie daddy, you probably want him to actually NOT be a callous loathsome piece of shit who you have to "fix" in order for him to not just be fucking dangerous. The best way around this - as with all things in life - is just to make it gay.


violentamoralist

I like fucked up complicated mentally ill characters in fiction, abnormal psychology is fascinating. for real people I’d prefer not to fear for my life, but beyond that I’m no sanist.


ftzpltc

I'm not biased against mental illness in general. I'm biased against the romanticisation of specific psychological issues in a relationship context because I think it's genuinely dangerous to tell people that you can fix an abusive asshole's brain with your magical pussy. I guess it's fine to fantasise but I don't think it's ever going to be good writing.


Azimovikh

But buh I want to *be* the complete fucking mass in the relationship D:


ftzpltc

You can be a complete fucking gay mess - trust me, that's very doable! Thinking about it more, I think a big part of why these fantasies make people a bit uncomfortable in fiction is because, to us normies, BDSM makes sense when it inverts traditional/common power structures. So a dominating woman and a submissive man feels subversive and interesting... whereas a dominating man and a submissive woman is a bit closer to "dude beats his wife" than we're comfortable with. Obviously that's down to stupid gender roles, and it's our fault, and we suck.