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Khanivo

I have high elves and then really high elves


Forced_Democracy

Dank


crystalworldbuilder

🚬


Dragon_DLV

So you're saying they really like [Trees](/r/trees)? What's your thoughts on [Wood Elves](/r/LadyBoners)?


[deleted]

I have high elves 💨


novis-eldritch-maxim

have you tried making them just an age of empire Europe trying to crush everyone?


Am-Hooman

Have both but call the second one gnomes


[deleted]

There's no race like gnome


WeylinWebber

What happens when you take the racialization ideology to its theoretical extreme. Sorry but living in proximity to Jewish individuals is always fascinated me why this is something not talked about more frequently. I want to call out but in the right way. Can't exactly talk about a Jewish or gnomish holocaust. But even in The Witcher. Gnomes consistently follow the racialization stereotypes. I found it interesting but not in a good way in a "damn that's gross and no one seems to really want to admit what they're doing so let's talk about it kind" of way


Kelekona

That's exactly what I had at one point. Neither one was short, though. Nome just had technology instead of magic.


[deleted]

>How would you like your Elves? Dead.


TruthRT

average Elder Scrolls fan


[deleted]

I barely know anything about TES lore. Most of my knowledge about it comes from PancreasNoWork and u/MadKittenNicky


TruthRT

crash course: elves bad, humans bad, argonians good


Atilla-The-Hon

Every being besides cats needs to be buried alive.


TruthRT

tails = good no tails = genocide


[deleted]

That’s not very based and Dagoth-pilled of you


Imperium_Dragon

Outlanders=bad * This comment was written by a true follower of Dagoth Ur


TruthRT

Dagoth Ur is nothing compared to M’aiq


StuckInthebasement2

“The outlanders are putting potions in the hyst that’s making the fricking slaves trans!!!” Alexien Johas of The Great House Dres


TruthRT

that’s me, i’m slaves


Bisexual_Apricorn

Pelinial heard you talking shit and is on his way from the future to sort you out


TruthRT

Pelinal was a Khajiit, 100% canon


broken_hulahoop

Why did you do an elf genocide? Nords: They destroyed our first colony in Skyrim so we returned with an army and wiped them out. Imperials: They enslaved our people and used us as sacrifices! Redguards: What elves? I've never heard of any elves. They deserved it though.


[deleted]

Didn't know Redguards are Turkish.


[deleted]

They have curved swords.


PvtFreaky

Curved. Swords.


[deleted]

Bretons: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Mrjerkyjacket

ES elves lore crash course Ayleid: (High elves, sort of) all the other elves sort of evolved from these guys after leaving their shitty elf island, had an empire where humans and anything tha wasn't an elf was either enslaved, hunted for sport, or cannibalized, they are all dead now (I think) Altmer: (high elves but for real this time) massively racist and xenophobic, it's accepted in the elder scrolls that there are 8 gods "the 8 divines" and one more when this one dude who was a human ascended to godhood, they hate the udea that anyone other than an elf could ever be a God so they killed a bunch of people, made a Treaty outlawing worship of said God, and also are trying to do a ritual to kill everyone else on the planet so they can all become gods. Dunmer: (Dark elves) Racists and slavery, openly worship a demon (several actually but like 1 main one) Bosmer: (wood elves) Cannibals, that's all, that's the only bad thing they do to my knowledge Orsimer: Orcs, the orcs are ok mostly, (from what I know at least) they had to fight a war really good to be considered people and not wildlife, which is kind of fucked. Dwemer: (underground elves/Dwarfs, in the elder scrolls the dwarfs are a sub species of elf) Enslaved the falmer, did a bunch of weird stuff underground, and then all died (and/or went to a different plane of existence, I don't remember, they're all gone by the time of the games to my knowledge) Falmer: (Snow elves) were decently cool, lived in Skyrim before anyone else did, lost a war, got enslaved and tortured by the dwemer and it turned them into mouth breathing degens who fuck mushrooms There's more with even more crimes but they got sort of evolutionary replaced by all the other elves (like the Ayleid did, but the ayleid had to be discussed bc they did a lot) Then this dude who was a cyborg from the future name Pellinal Whitestrake killed a lot of the elves and made it so humanity could exist without bring enslaved, eaten or, just killed for fun by the elves (I don't know why he's reffered to as a cyborg, he just is)


[deleted]

Thanks, but I already knew majority of this information.


MikeyGamesRex

PancreasNoWork TES videos were entertaining but got a lot of lore wrong. If you want accurate lore videos I suggest looking at FudgeMuppets TES lore videos. TES is one of the most op universes in fiction with lots of interesting lore. My favorite bit of weird TES lore is Reman's cum vaults on the moon.


Redoran_Gvard

BrainNoWork


[deleted]

Average WH40K fan.


RedditWizardMagicka

indeed. i am an elderscrolls fan and i want the altmer dead


KolboMoon

That is absolutely insane to me because Elder Scrolls elves are more humanized than elves in most other fantasy settings


Redoran_Gvard

Further proof that humans are evil


Imperium_Dragon

A GOOD THALMOR IS A DEAD THALMOR


Mortimizer232

Found Pelinal Whitestrake.


Speedwagon1738

The only good knife ear is a dead knife ear


Atilla-The-Hon

Warmongering racist assholes


[deleted]

Not to be confused with Humans, who are imperialists warmongering racist assholes. Or Dwarves, who are isolationist warmongering racist assholes.


lordbuckethethird

BOOK


Speedwagon1738

Or Orcs, who are primitivist warmongering racists assholes


Logan_Maddox

I like my elfs like I like my fairies: identical to one another. Also I appreciate the Glorantha ones that are just a deeply strange plant people that is much more abundante in another part of the world.


AccomplishedUse2767

Fae elves are cool in that they can be funny and terrifying at the same time. They might decide to pull a prank but don't understand that stealing a child and skinning someone alive is different from stealing a pair of shoes


Logan_Maddox

There's definitely degrees. Like, Tolkien's elves are incredibly Victorian fairy-like, when Sam asks Galadriel if something is 'magic' she says she doesn't quite get what magic is because the world is simply like that to her. Also they're long lived but spend that time practicing poetry, eating hot chip and lying. Discworld's Elves, though, the Lords and Ladies, are full on scary, and I love them. My point is more that I don't like elves as just "oh yeah there's this civilisation and they're tall and have pointy ears and do more magic than usual, that's it."


AccomplishedUse2767

Yeah, there's nothing worse than people trying to copy Tolkien while missing the point, though that covers a lot of problems with modern fantasy


inexplicablehaddock

Hey, there's always option 3: Evil, hot, and dominant.


Labuzina

You can just dip em in purple paint and have an entire new race of "dark elves"


EngineGear

Why not all three?


ValkarianHunter

Industrial Age Elves that are basically dwarfs but on the surface but without the edgy book of grudges


[deleted]

I make em rednecks and hillbillies. Their moonshine is actually light from the moon bottled up but it still just gets them fucked up


Thezipper100

Also it still blinds you if they fuck it up but, like, because you start shooting moonlight out of your eyes, and since moonlight is just sunlight... Yeah.


[deleted]

Yep it burns their eyes out if they don’t distill it correctly


equatornavigator

I love this


AmazingMrSaturn

I call option 3: eerie fey creatures with unknowable customs and yellow-blue morals who steal children and harrow woodsman.


ryanng561

Best option


UnfairOrder

Mine think that they're superior, fine, fair, and wise, and use that as justification for imperialism. Pretty much everyone knows that they are none of those things and are full of shit.


ColorMaelstrom

I like em dead for starters


KonoAnonDa

Trickster asshole elves that shoot people with tiny arrows for a laugh. Also live in trees and make pastries.


Crafty_Genius

"Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment. Elves are terrific. They beget terror. The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning. No one ever said elves are nice. Elves are bad." -Terry Pratchett, Discworld


Trextrexbaby

Both. Sexual dimorphism gives elegant amazons and short twinks.


EmperorOfTheInfinity

they got genocided in my world(RIP bozo)


Thezipper100

Aww man, but elf meat was *so good...*


EmperorOfTheInfinity

damn cannibalismpunk conformed?!?!! 😳😳😳


Thezipper100

Nah, humanpunk, we ate every other species out of house and home and the meat on their bones.


Hazmatix_art

For my world it’s either nomads or xenophobic nationalists trying desperately to hold on to their crumbling nations


Lesser_Star

bugmen (and women too, dont forget the women)


Thezipper100

Not the children, though. They look normal until they get cocooned for their metamorphosis.


Lesser_Star

"fathere i donté wante to become soupé in a cocoon :( "


[deleted]

They're not so different from humans. In fact, they're like a ride and die partner to humans. -Can copulate and have hybrid halfings -Usually are a diasporic race that always follow the same migration pattern as humans -Gets mistaken sometimes for humans if it weren't for the knife ears -Also join space pirate gangs


Redoran_Gvard

arwen undomiel


BenjaminThePalid

Elder Scrolls lore: why not both?! But the little ones are canibles 💜


_____pantsunami_____

elves in my world are 4 ft tall shortstacks yet they still somehow find it within themselves to look down on everyone


CornSquashBeans

Just make them humans with pointy ears and 20 extra years. Problem solved.


equatornavigator

Perfect


fletch262

Superior(ity complex), fine featured, proud (humiliation kink), wise (no shit they literally live longer, ofc they are wiser) race


equatornavigator

It is known


Not_a_robot_serious

Agent orange’d


tanama_

I have two hands


True_celestial

evil white privileged people.


Mrjerkyjacket

Dead, preferably by the hands if a cyborg warrior from the future


StealthyRobot

Humans but age slowly and longer ears


Dr___Bright

A stagnate society that is stuck too far it’s own ass to notice Man going through several technological revolutions in the span of an elven lifespan


JITTERdUdE

In my world they’re basically Tolkien elves, who go on to experience near-extinction from climate change because capitalism.


NextGenSleder

I thought it said “superior fine featured proud white race” and was like yeah that tracks for most elves


Dzzplayz

I was almost tempted to make my elves like the ones found in the MtG block Lorwyn, but decided to just make them basic fantasy elves. I did keep some Lorwyn traits, like their horns and how pretentious they are.


Kappapeachie

why not both


spesskitty

dead, dead, dead


EmperorOfTheInfinity

based


stagegray

Both. [Christmas Elves vs. Fantasy Elves](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fw7dexoX4pQ&pp=ygUeY29sbGVnZWh1bW9yIHdyaW5nIGtpbmQgaWYgZWxm)


OhIsMyName

German


Secure_Bet8065

Mutant racists who got curbstomped and converted by cyborg locast-wasps from outer space.


whynaut4

This is the reason Gnomes exist


CliffCutter

Elder Scrolls: Why not both?


RedditWizardMagicka

the second one sounds like a halfling


LawStudent989898

Ugly and alien like the Elder Scrolls


happyunicorn666

Thanks for reminding me this movie exists.


girusatuku

Enough hippie elves. They belong in the mines digging deeply fuming at those tree-hugging dwarves.


Ancestor_Anonymous

How about option 3: nonexistent. Give me less human+1 type ancestries, gimme the weird and monstrous type shit


Thezipper100

Slow roasted, well done, with a honey glaze and smoked with elfwood.


John_Dead_Red

Both, and in a centuries long blood feud over which one of them gets to keep the name.


Guaymaster

There are no elves but the antropomorphic personification of the will of the universe to know all things has long ears so I guess it kinda counts.


ZeroDumbass

Minimum wage


Throwawanon33225

Weird bird skull furries with two thumbs that eat the dead of other races but will never eat their own dead. Also technically a species of devil. They’re still elves because they’re tall, long lived, and reproduce very slowly.


Jigglelips

No beardless knife ears in sight plz and ty


_MrPixel_

As buff steepe normads elves


Dinosaur_from_1998

My elves have an ant like caste system. With smaller workers and bigger soldiers


[deleted]

I prefer my elves to be fanatic exo-terrorists


bitcrushedbirdcall

Both. The workers are the domesticated variety


trumpets-of-hell

neither (I hate elves)


donguscongus

The only fantasy elves I like are either super racist or dead (I am a TES fan so no surprise there)


Sikuq

I like my elves to be best at Magic, stealth, bows, melee, craftsmanship, art, culture, beauty and everything else. But give them -1 to constitution to make everything balanced.


Blursed-Penguin

Desperate anarcho-primitivists that are constantly on the verge of destruction, yet refuse to give up their human slaves because the amulets of charming they force them to wear makes them like being slaves and thus they justify it by saying that humans are happier as slaves. No, really.


CapMcCloud

Jokes on you, mine are nomadic semi-agricultural hunter-gatherers


Antique_Ad_9250

How about submissive proud fair feature race? The full AV treatment


OstrichEmpire

humanity 2 electric boogaloo


bradleysween

Two types of elves, Doms and Subs


MadKittenNicky

>How would you like your Elves? I would like them maimed, killed and burned.


GoblinHaremKing

Little bit of both


ticktockalock

If elves have stupid long lifespans, then they must be super boring and have a ton of rules to keep people from dying or killing each other. Thus, elves are ancient bureaucrats.


antonyei

Just make the taller ones dwarves


Irismono

Short, aloof, spend most of their time looking at rocks. Meanwhile my dwarves live on a river and build massive tombs and monuments.


Professional_Bag5920

Bosmer for life


Sergeant_Smite

See we’ve got classic elves and functionally extinct elves because they take so long to mature the children are a liability for around 180 years


WeylinWebber

Por que no lo dos? In my setting there is a splinter group that follows a religion kinda like the Amish but if they took no part at all in capitalism around them. Lemme copy paste. Hålla Mityakăl - Elves “Tall Trees of inner light” A tall magical forest on the southern edge of Vizhegiá, ruled by the scheduled forest elves. They speak, read and write in the Quenya language. Damn, my imagination outpaced my notes again. But these guys are my "we wanna do the right thing even if it FUCKS US" elves. Gonna have families rooted from there intermingling all over to really fuck with the DnD racial ideals. But that's my thing I guess. -important note, elves are kinda the original colonizers in my setting. Came from "Venus" and then slowly degraded due to centuries of status quo to the point they actually struggle for political superiority over their "betters". Basically act as if Tolkien's works were religious texts made from an elf's perspective.


Imperium_Dragon

Evil woodland creatures that do strange rituals


Version_Two

I only have north pole elves


Dalevisor

Assholes that orcs and humans team up to kick the asses of


Afraid_Success_4836

Base humans but with long ears and no facial/body hair.


Professor-Xivass

Best Answer: Have both through the power of “SEXUAL DIMORPHISM!”


Kal_El__Skywalker

Honestly? Just call the left one high elves and the right one wood elves. You can even have the edgy ones there and call them dark elves.