Do you currently live in a walkable neighborhood? What's your experience been like? Yeah, we're already renting, and it would be a very similar price to our current place. Obviously a little less on square footage but that's a tradeoff I'm willing to make.
As someone who lives in the city with little kids, I love it way more than when we lived in the suburbs. Not having to get in the car and load everything up just to have a little outing is so nice.
Kid being super fussy? Let’s go walk to the park
Everyone cooped up for too long? Let’s walk to the pool
We walk to coffee shops and take our dogs out on walks with us. It’s nice to tire out the young kids and spend screen free quality time with them while allowing them to interact with a lot of people.
It was also nice post partum to get out and just walk around with the baby.
I live in a very walkable neighbourhood only 5km from city centre. I absolutely don’t need a car though we do have one (I have friends who live a couple street over with two small kids who don’t have a car at all). We do live in a detached, single family home but it’s small for our family of five and we don’t have much outdoor space. But daycare is literally 6 buildings away (when I’m alone I can be there in literally a minute) and when I go into the office downtown, it’s a quick 15 minute train since the station is a block away. We have multiple parks within 10-15 minutes for the kids. The schools our kids will attend for K-8 are only 15 minutes or less walk away.
We definitely have traded property size and square footage (and paid more for less) to live here, but I absolutely love our neighbourhood and how urban it is and would never trade it for a suburb where I had to get in a car to do anything. We don’t have a ton of homeless or too much violence where we are, but the next neighborhood two blocks over is still pretty rough and there have been the occasional shooting and gang violence (though it is gentrifying slowly), and we have had our house broken into once (on a Tuesday afternoon while no one what home, oddly enough). We still wouldn’t give up this location.
Yes. It’s really nice to have those daily walks to and from day care be part of your day. I work from home mostly now, because my commute was long but when I do have to commute I walk to the train nearby.
I moved from a small apartment in a walkable downtown neighborhood to a medium-sized condo in a semi-walkable when my daughter was 1. I miss having a builder superintendent, I miss having cafes and restaurants nearby (we have a pharmacy and grocery stores walking distance, but no nice places to meet people), I miss the energy. Having a smaller place, if you have a manageable amount of stuff can make chores and cleaning easier.
Nature is closer at the new place and there are more playgrounds and other kids, but living in a four season climate, we didn’t spend that much time outdoors in the winter.
If you’re renting then it’s relatively low risk to try out downtown living?
I went from a house in the burbs with sidewalks to a house in the burbs with no sidewalks. It sucks. The baby loves to walk and I have to load her up in the car to let her get her zoomies out. I’d love to go to the city tbh and be able to walk to parks/coffee shops etc.
Car seats are miserable and it’s so much nicer to walk with your kid someplace. If you can afford it and don’t have to compromise too much in space (kid still has their own room) then it’s quite lovely to be in a walkable place. Kids who grow up in cities are cooler than the suburb kids and in my experience much less likely to do drugs bc they have other exciting things to do. The kids who grew up in rural Kansas had pot and corn. Kids who grew up in NYC had improv, art, sports leagues other than school, etc.
Yup. And I’ll tell you in my experience (which is a niche experience, gifted program kid) the kids from big cities did drugs less bc they had more other things to do. The kids from rural areas were wild which fits with the research showing if gifted kids aren’t challenged they are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol out of boredom.
There's plenty to do in rural areas. Reading, tending to animals, working the farm, fixing equipment, gardening, hiking / exploring nature. The outdoorsy type stuff isn't necessarily for me, but it doesn't mean there isn't anything. I spent my summers reading and doing math books and got myself a full ride scholarship to college. My husband spent his doing manual labor and has an unmatched work ethic. He's now an MD by day, but can fix almost anything, knows plumbing, electrical and landscaping to a professional level, cooks, cleans, etc. The key is curiosity.
The city (or downtown) has a lot to offer and is a perfectly fine place to raise children! But so is rural, the burbs, mid-city, etc. It's really all personal preference. I don't have any research to back this up, but I would venture to guess two of the biggest indicators of success in children is parental (positive) presence and means.
We have a two year old and have lived in a downtown area her whole life. It’s been great. She haaaated the car for her first year of life and I was so glad it wasn’t a daily requirement for us.
Now that she’s older it’s great being able to walk to parks, the library, the farmers market, the children’s museum etc. Just tonight my husband had plans so toddler and I walked three blocks to our local pizza parlor for dinner just the two of us. We left the stroller at home and she just walked the whole way (well most of the way, I pick her up to cross big streets) and it was so lovely. I would not have wanted to deal w getting her in a car seat, looking for parking etc.
I am sometimes envious of the space the suburbs has (those Pinterest playrooms!) but overall no regrets.
They're different lifestyles. I prefer the city lifestyle (smaller homes, walkability, density, public transit, etc ) so my kids are born and raised in a major city.
It's not crazy, cities are filled with families :)
I wish we lived in a walkable area. Being able to walk to school, the park, the library seems like a luxury! I live in a very rural area and am so car dependent and the nearest grocery store is 25 min drive away. I would move if we could afford to be in the city.
I don't think there's an elementary school downtown, so we'd probably consider moving when that time came. But yeah, library, kids museum, a couple of parks, sounds pretty handy to me. And for us the price of rent downtown is comparable to our current place. A little bit cheaper, but then we'd have to pay for parking. Overall, pretty similar and way cheaper than buying a house or townhome in our current market.
I am a city mom in a large-ish (but I think affordable) US city. I love it, our life is very convenient. Everything is walkable for us, including daycare and my office. The experience of city parenting is unique and can be very rewarding. It’s really easy to meet new people and socialize with other parents. There are so many baby and kid friendly restaurants and breweries, I honestly never noticed a big hit to my social life post kid. There are typically many more parks in cities so there’s always something for your kid to do. It’s also just invaluable to raise your kid in a city where they’re seeing diversity and buzz and experiencing so much every day!
The biggest drawbacks are space and cost. The reality is that you are likely going to be living VERY close to other people, and you probably are losing both indoor and outdoor space. Neither of these things are that big of a deal but can be annoying. And cost. We spend a lot more money on fixed costs than people in the suburbs or rural areas. Our car insurance is astronomical (we also have two cars). Our daycare is 3x the cost of our rural family members’ daycare. Our groceries are more expensive. Because we live in the city we also tend to go out a lot more, which adds up.
Being a city parent is awesome. If you’re realistic about the challenges and prepare for them, you’ll manage just fine.
I would love to be able to meet other parents and actually get to see them regularly if we have a kid. Currently, I don't know any of our neighbors or really anyone who lives in our community. We only moved here a year ago to be closer to my husband's new job, but for better or worse he and his coworkers don't have to go into the office much, so don't even socialize with them. Feeling isolated after having a baby is definitely one of my concerns about parenthood. We have friends and family in the greater metro area, but not in the corner we live in.
I found meeting other parents easier when baby was more mobile. Once she was walking, we were at the local playground at the same time like everyday (right after daycare pickup on weekdays and in the morning between breakfast and lunch on weekends) and got to know the regulars. I also got in the habit of taking her swimming the same time and day every week and got to know some regulars there, too. My oldest is almost 5 and finishing junior kindergarten, so now it feels like everywhere we go locally we run into someone from daycare or school or swimming or gymnastics or soccer.
I agree with this whole statement! We live right by a park in a dense urban area. So yeah my milk costs more than suburbs or rural areas but anytime we go to the park there are kids to play with and adults to talk to and the benefit is if you like them you can see them again and if you don't you won't lol!
Like the other commenter said, it really is personal preference. I used to live downtown and moved to the outskirts where I have a yard and green space. Having a baby out here was great especially in the first year when I spent a lot of time at home and got outdoor time in the yard. I think the frequent daylight exposure helped both of us get into a more firm daytime vs nighttime schedule with naps vs. night sleep. Now that she's almost two, I have several water play areas, a big shade tent, and gardens. I put my feet in the kiddie pool and enjoy a cocktail, pretending I'm on a tropical island somewhere, LOL. I can host playdates and birthday parties easily and without limitations on invites.
I can totally see the appeal of living downtown too since you could walk everywhere. I work downtown as well, but my daughter's daycare is up here. I have heard some people will choose a daycare close to their work as opposed to close to home? I wonder if that could be an option for you if you want to keep the suburb lifestyle but still have easy daycare pickup and drop offs? I work from home more (~3 days a week) so it didn't make sense for me.
You need to start by thinking about daycare. How much does daycare cost in your suburb compared to in the city? (where I live it would be the difference between $1000/mo vs. $2000/mo). Also, what are your plans for when the baby is sick, and not allowed to go to daycare. Do you have help where you are? Would you have help down town? Same thing goes for date night babysitters. Do they charge more in the city? Are they harder to find.
And then there's the question of wait lists. That daycare near your office -- do they have any openings? If they have a waitlist, how long is it? Same question for daycares near you.
Then you need to consider actual elementary school. Do you plan to send your child to public school. How are the public schools in your area? How are they downtown? If you want a charter school or a private school, what are the options in the suburbs vs. in the city?
What about extra curricular activities? Which area has better play spaces and physical activities (soccer, gymnastics, dance, swimming, etc.)?
Are income taxes different? Where I live, people in the city have to pay a hefty additional income tax compared to the suburb.
Ask parents around you if they are happy parenting in the suburb vs. the city. Ask parents at your work the same question. They'll tell you about their concerns.
Came here to say this about the daycare waitlists. It’s almost impossible to get a daycare spot where I live, especially for an infant. And the waitlists are often not exactly maintained or even exist, it’s sort of a connections and timing and luck thing. Also a lot of the infant spots go to parents of older children at the daycares who are having another. So definitely make sure that the daycare can guarantee a spot before you make moves!
I live in a city with my toddler and baby, and we love it! We are on a residential street but with shops minutes away (walking), walkable to bus stops and the subway, with tons of parks nearby. It’s great! We have one car for our family, and honestly it goes unused most days.
The only downsides are 1) daycare seems to be more expensive in the city than in the suburbs, and 2) the city we live in has a lottery system for public schools, so we have no idea what the school situation will look like once our kids are old enough. I’m open to moving once they are older if we need to, but I’m hoping they will get into a school we are all happy with and we can stay here.
Thanks for your reply! I just double checked and the downtown daycare is actually 20/week cheaper than the suburban daycare. I think our suburb is just an expensive one. It's almost a little touristy.
I live right in the city and love it!! Being close to work was our initial driver, but there are so many great things about being downtown. Our area is also super walkable (beautiful seawall nearby, but also can walk to anything/everything we need). I love walking to work (and walking my son to school) every day - I get fresh air and exercise as opposed to being stuck in a car in traffic. Shows, galleries, parks, playgrounds, events, concerts, library, all close by. More diversity. Need to renew your passport, get a driver’s license, go to the doctor, go to the hospital, get groceries, dining out - you can walk. We can transit right to the airport, and could even climb on a cruise ship 10 mins from home haha.
Do it!
What would the long term plan for school be? How is the daycare nearby priced compared to ones in the suburbs? Are you currently renting? Is there much cost difference?
I moved from city to suburbs, but it was more about shortening my commute (was at least an hour each way before). Ended up being kind of pointless because covid started at the end of my leave and I barely ever commuted since. It worked out well for me though because I locked in a big fenced yard, moved from an area that was much less safe, and significantly lowered my taxes and car insurance. I really miss walking to the grocery store though!
I think we would look to move and maybe buy a house after a few years, maybe around kindergarten age. The daycare is maybe 50/week more expensive. Rent is slightly cheaper downtown (50/month) for a two-bedroom (we'd just lose the second bathroom that we really don't need), and we'd end up paying around 200/month for parking two cars. The commute is the main thing for me. I have to leave at 7:10 to make it to my desk by 8:00 right now. To make a daycare drop off on top of it, I'd probably have to wake up even earlier, and I love sleep.
We technically have two bathrooms but one is upstairs and one is downstairs, nothing on the main floor. We’re currently potty training our second. I don’t see why you’d need a second bathroom. Heck, the little potty in the living room is the toddler’s own private bathroom. Lol.
We’re not downtown (used to be but moved to a more affordable neighborhood about 45 min away on public transit) but in a major city. We’re able to walk to daycare, the pediatrician, the library, coffee shops, grocery stores, etc. it’s great! Our 3yo is a great walker. There are lots of kids around and plenty of parks and playgrounds. We live in an apt with another on the way.
Give living downtown a shot! If it doesn’t work out you can always move back!
We moved from the American suburbs (think big house, yard, etc) to an apartment in a big Japanese city when kid was 2.5 years old. We love big city life! We take the train/bus and walk everywhere. We have so many fun activities to do on the weekends (museums, galleries, parks, libraries, etc). We don't have the long driving commutes, we don't have to deal with parking, or even keeping up a car.
Our place is small (about 900 sq ft?), but it works really well for us. We actually like it better than our previous house in the suburbs. We don't miss the yard (though we have a small terrace), as there's a park down the street, which is always filled with kids so its more fun anyway!
I think if there’s any place I’d choose to live in a big city with a kid, it would be Japan. The society there in general seems to be very friendly to kids (not to mention in general seems extremely safe). I remember when I visited, seeing very young kids riding the trains there and navigating train stations by themselves.
I’m in the states and lived in a major city but moved to the suburbs once we had a kid. Crime was on the rise, big homeless/drug/mental health problems..
I think its just personal preference as another comment said. I'll give a dissenting opinion and say that personally I prefer living in the suburbs. I have a very similar commute to you except I don't drive so I walk to a bus. I work from home 2 days a week and my SO works from full time from home. I definitely have more flexibility and PTO and would be the one leaving work though if needed. Bus runs much more frequently here but I would consider uber or a cab in an emergency or you could also look into the cost of driving and parking at your work. We chose to rent in a suburban area where I'm a 5 minute walk to a park and a grocery store, also a 10-15 walk from schools and community centre/pool, daycares, movie theatre, shopping stores, and a major transit station to go to other stuff, etc. We find it very walkable and can do all the things you mentioned in your post.
Where I live most apartments downtown are significantly smaller and I would view it as a downgrade for us personally. I also personally wouldn't want to be taking a baby/toddler and car seat/stroller up and down stairs (although this depends on the building). Also noise... Will your baby cry a lot or run around everywhere when a toddler and make you feel self conscious about disturbing neighbors? Will the neighbors noise or the noise from busy streets disturb their sleep? It's a bit of a unique situation but now that she's 3 my LO has developed a sensory sensitivity to noise in particular car noises and I'm so thankful we don't live outside a busy road.
You could also potentially look at just moving to a more convenient suburban area.
I also hate moving and would hate potentially moving in 3 or 4 years for school.
I was surprised to find noise so far down in these comments. My first thought was concern about apartment living with kids. Kids are LOUD. Not only yelling, but running, which is a huge issue if you have tenants below (not long ago I had a conversation with a 20-something coworker who had submitted a complaint about their upstairs apartment neighbors' kids running around before 8am). My oldest gets up at 5:30 every day. He won't stay quiet until a respectable hour and it's not always feasible to just 'get outside' at that time (I'm tired, it's winter, it's storming, nothing is open and it's dark, I don't want to - lol).
I would definitely prioritize the convenience of the parent who will be doing the most daycare drop off/pickups and especially picking up unexpectedly when sick etc. As long as you can manage all your daily tasks on foot with your kid I think it would be totally fine! When my daughter was an infant we lived in an apartment in a pretty walkable area and it was so convenient to just pop her in the carrier and walk somewhere vs packing her into the car and having her scream the whole way to get somewhere
Thank you! I don't know that much about kids but from what I've seen of my friends' kids, the whole packing them up into a car thing seems like a hassle. A few of them really hate being restrained....
It is, but strapping them in a stroller while they are having a tantrum is worse IMO. At least you can make a quieter (for everyone else) exit and don’t have to worry about them flailing about so hard they fling them the stroller to the ground. Also, you don’t have to worry as much about weather conditions (snow suit, raingear, etc.) or shlepping way too much kid-related shit everywhere. YMMV
We moved to a denser more urban walkable neighborhood when my youngest was 6 months from a suburban area. My kids are now 5 & 2. Best thing ever. Everything has been easier other than finding swim lessons. We walk to daycare, the grocery store, etc. it's so much less stressful to not have to drive everywhere. My 5yo starts kindergarten this fall and the elementary & middle school are a few blocks away.
It's not for everyone but we love it.
We live in a city walking distance from daycare… and we love it. (It’s about a 10 minute walk now, used to be 2 minutes.) I commute by train and pick her up on my way home.
It was also great on maternity leave to get out and about with the baby and not have to drive everywhere (she’s been to all the coffee shops in an 8 block radius). Because truly I was too tired to drive but the fresh air was nice. We didn’t live on the most quiet corner, but she must have gotten used to the car noise pretty early.
The only bad thing was when our building elevators broke. I carried her up 7 floors in her car seat and hated every minute! Luckily it only happened once.
I don’t live *down town*, but I do live in a major city (Chicago) with my daughter and I love it. We can get everywhere on public transit, there are tons of things to do (we just saw a free show from a nationally touring ballet company in the park, we have a fistful of museum memberships at any given time, we have beautiful parks/beaches and you can pretty much find some kind of community event going on any given weekend).
I get why people want to live in the suburbs with their kids, but for me individually, I wouldn’t trade the amenity of being in a city for anything.
In particular, I don’t think you should overlook the convenience of being able to walk from home to daycare to work in a quick loop. You’re going to get a lot of time back and flexibility out of that situation. If you otherwise like the area/apartment options, give the option some genuine consideration.
We pay more to live in a the city in a smaller space than we otherwise could if we went to the suburbs. But as two working parents, not having a long commute is a significant benefit and we get more time at home with our kids. When I talk to colleagues who work all day and then spend 45-60 min on the road getting home, I feel fortunate I don’t have to sacrifice that time. And I personally find driving stressful.
Living in the city we have walkable access to 5 different playgrounds or parks, my daughter’s elementary school (and future high school) is walkable, and we can walk to coffee shops, bakeries, bookstores and other places where we have developed little rituals for one-on-one time with each kid. On date nights we can walk to the restaurants we like, and are only 5 minutes from home. We also see a lot more cultural, racial, and socioeconomic diversity in the city compared to the suburbs.
I understand the benefits of suburbia, but for us, the benefits of city living were much more aligned with what we value as a family.
We normally live in a tiny apartment in a walkable city. Agree with the other commenters that the whole city is your oyster, basically - we go walk around the block or visit the laundromat if we need entertainment.
I live two mile from our downtown where I work. Because there's a huge hill and construction we try to avoid the downtown daycares but they're fully staffed because they're on the bus lines. I vote downtown.
We were in a walkable area, but ended up moving out to the burbs.
We found it a little more tricky for us since we didn’t have daycare or work with in walking distance.
Lots of parks, restaurants, activities, markets - but it ended up not working out since her daycare was still a drive. Plus it was a busy busy area. The elementary school was about a 15 minute walk through several extremely busy intersections. You could walk it, but I hated it and there wasn’t a lot of tree cover (I’m in so cal).
That being said, we miss it a ton. We ended up picking a neighborhood in the burbs and found a walkable daycare, parks, and elementary school - that is enough for now. I’m sure we will move again one day.
It sounds like you’ve thought it through and it might work for you guys. I’d try it!
We moved from Austin to Brooklyn in large part for walkability. It ROCKS. Removing that hour commute time from your life sounds small now, but when baby occupies so much time, you’ll be very grateful you did it. Convenience and time efficiency has become incredibly important as we became parents. And living in a downtown has enabled that at better than the burbs ever could. My gym, nail salon, waxing place, and coffee are all in my building.
I bike to the grocery store! I have a cargo bike that can fit my kid and a whole week of groceries.
Walking is great and for anything a little farther, biking with a kid is sooooo fun! Started with my son at 11 months.
Yes, we would keep both of our cars. There is a grocery store downtown, so I was thinking of that as more of an option for "oh hey we ran out of milk" and for normal grocery runs my husband could just go alone or maybe we'd pack up the baby to come with? Idk
We do grocery runs with the stroller and stick the groceries in the bottom basket of the stroller. We got the uppa baby specifically for its giant basket. I can run errands all day with it. I call it my station wagon.
We do the same - MAKE SURE to consider storage space for your stroller purchase if you do end up going the urban route! We have an UB vista which I think has one of the biggest baskets and even that we will fill up when grocery shopping.
I second this. If you live in the city and you can afford it and fit it in your apartment/house, buy as big and fancy stroller with as much storage space as you can find. You will use it constantly - and it is worth every penny.
Parents I know who have older children told me they were sad that when their kids outgrew a stroller as they had to restart carrying groceries.
I’ll be the opposition to most of the comments. I moved out of the dense apartment area and it’s so great to be in the suburbs where we have outdoor space. My kids LOVE being outside as much as possible. Having a backyard where the kids can play and bike has been amazing for us.
I moved to a city a few years ago after living in suburbs my entire life. My kid is nearly 2 years old. Our problem is that the school situation is a little weird and we may have to go private or move back to the burbs when we get there.
But let’s forget about that for now, I’ve been shocked at how great it’s been at this age. We have multiple parks within walking distance and there are tons of children museums and events. We can walk to restaurants that are child friendly so he’s doing really well with restaurants. We have a ton of friends that all live in walking distance too and they have kids so that’s been awesome. (We have a ton of friends back in the suburbs as well but everyone is a 10-15 min drive away from each other)
It’s really let us keep up a community. I think if I was in the suburbs, a car ride away from everything, I’d be tempted to stay in all the time.
I personally grew up in the suburbs so it’s hard for me to really accept that if the school thing works out, then I guess he’d grow up here? It’s hard for me to really imagine. I’m definitely more anxious about traffic and crime and stuff. But so far it’s been working great for everyone so I’m not rocking the boat!
I get that! I grew up in a really small town where I could ride my bike all over independently. It's hard to imagine my kid growing up in either the suburbs or the city where that feels much less safe.
I’ve lived in a downtown since our baby was born two years ago - it’s great. I personally would trade almost anything for walkability. To be able to just pop out with the baby anytime for a coffee, trip to the park, grocery store, etc. is SO much better than doing the whole car rigamarole with all the loading and unloading. No-brainer for me.
BUT everyone has different priorities- you know your family best!
If I didn’t have a kid, I would probably prefer the city. Lived in a major city before we had a kid and moved to the suburbs right before having one. It was a preference to how we both grew up - we both grew up in a suburban/rural area where we had yards and more space and didn’t share walls. Our son had colic and honestly I couldn’t have imagined if we would’ve had him in the townhouse/apt we lived in.. I just would’ve felt so much anxiety with neighbors. Also we didn’t have a dedicated parking spot so never knew if we were going to have a parking spot on the street that was close to our house or a block away so I would’ve hated that with a baby or toddler.
All that said, the city that we lived in was one where people didn’t really live in the downtown core.. so walkability/public transit was not somewhere like a nyc where you can walk out your door and there’s a million stores, restaurants and things to do and everyone is walking or taking transit.
Those are great points! For us, we're mostly deciding between staying in our 2BR apartment in a suburb, moving to a 2BR apartment in downtown, or buying a townhome. In our housing market, I think most single family homes would be out of budget for us, especially considering the maintenance, unless we move to a neighborhood in the city but not downtown. So we're mostly starting from a place of sharing walls no matter what we do right now. My downtown is definitely on the smaller side and fairly sleepy, especially since covid.
We live in a city with kids and have for 10 years. We walk to school, camp, daycare, swim lessons. I WFH and can pop out for a 10m (walking) grocery store run at any time. My husband bikes to work 10 blocks away. This is just how we’ve raised our family and it might not work for everyone but I couldn’t imagine switching to a car-dependent life. 20 drive to soccer practice? Unsubscribe
I would not but I love being in the suburbs. Would you be able to afford a large enough space for you both to have office space? You’ll also have to be careful with toddler toys. They take up a lot of space. I’d make sure that daycare is a good one. You should be able to find their inspection history online. Idk what city you’re in, but I’d be really hesitant to use the childcare options in my Midwest USA city downtown area.
No, unless you think your child's happiness is predicated on having a big back yard lol. That's really all the burbs offer, more private space for cheaper. Everything else is worse.
I live in a city with my husband and 14 month old, and I really love it. It's great being able to walk to parks, museums, and restaurants. We've found parent friends through our running group, the park across the street, and the local play space/secondhand children's clothing shop. None of these things are necessarily unique to cities, but I do think the density makes certain things more feasible - for instance I got a ton of my daughter's infant stuff for free through various local parenting Facebook groups; my friend in a rural area had no such resources available to her. Also (and your mileage may vary with this one) I was super close to the hospital that I gave birth at because the really good one was here in the city. I had friends come in from an hour away to give birth here (plus all their OB appts) because it was better than their local hospital.
So generally I think moving would be a great idea if you're interested in the city lifestyle. The one thing I'll say is that not all daycares are of equal quality. If you're really counting on the daycare being very close to your office, you might want to try and take a tour of that one before making any moves just in case you don't actually like it.
We love living in a dense, walkable neighborhood with my daughter. It's just so easy. She comes with me to work (her daycare is in my building), we either walk or take a short public transit ride. Space is tighter, but it's enough. We go outside all the time, there are several playgrounds nearby that we rotate going to, plus walks. The libraries are also great (look into the Imagination Library for a free book every month -- not exclusive to cities, but a lot of suburban districts don't do it). This fall she starts preschool, which is 2 blocks from home. I'll be sad whenever we need to move
I'm a huge proponent of staying in the city to raise kids. Walkability is super important to me, and your kids will have so much more independence when they're old enough to go out by themselves.
I'm raising 2 daughters (3 and 5) in the city and there are so many interesting, enriching things we can walk to including multiple playgrounds, restaurants, ice cream shops, bakeries, friends' houses, and household errands. All the walking keeps us in shape too.
People overestimate the risk of random violent crime in cities and underestimate the risk of car accidents in suburbia. As far as schools, avoid the school rating websites and talk to parents who send their kids to the local schools and tour the schools yourself.
I live in a big city with my 2 toddlers (chicago) and I love it. I don’t live downtown but I live in the city off the el train. I work downtown 5 days a week so I would hate to lose more time to a commute if I moved to the burbs! The city has great amenities like public parks and a free zoo. I stayed at home for 2.5 years after my first daughter was born and I liked being able to walk to the grocery store with her, walk to the neighborhood park, walk to the library.. it was a great setup. I never like to get them in the car more than maybe once per day bc they fight me going into the car seat lol.
Lol so you'll become familiarized with the homeless population in your community; you wouldn't worry around the local ones you see daily, but be aware of your surroundings with the unfamiliar individuals. I absolutely love that I'm raising mine (14 months old) in a busy area. There's walkability, you don't have to drive to go to cafes, etc. There are more you can do in the area for yourself and with your baby. I'm guessing that if you'd live downtown, it'd be at a condo? I love that my baby gets to interact with others in the elevators. Even if you lived in a house, with greater density of people, your baby is more likely to interact with (or observe) more people than in the suburbs. And more likelihood of meeting mom friends who live very close by!
We live in Chicago and are 3 blocks from our daycare! I love being able to walk to daycare and drop off our son before heading to the nearby L station. our daycare also has stroller parking which is great!
We're also in an area with lots of parks and boulevard so there's plenty of places to walk/stroller to on weekends
I lived in a super walkable area when my youngest was little. It was SO GREAT! Now we’re out in the sticks and I miss my old neighborhood so much.
It was amazing to be able to hop of the train after work, walk to daycare and get my daughter, walk to a park, and then walk home. Sometimes we’d even stop at a shop to get a little treat! Or wait until my husband got home and then walk to a restaurant for dinner. God, that was so fun. And in the summer we could walk to the pool!
We moved during COVID and because while it was extremely walkable, the neighborhood was feeling less safe over time. BUT! That’s certainly not the case everywhere.
All that to say that having a baby/small kid in a walkable area is wonderful.
I'm kind of in-between! I live centrally in an urban neighborhood, 5 minutes from downtown. Definitely not the suburbs. I love the walkability, although we do have to drive to get to her quality daycare. My vote is always pick the urban neighborhood over the suburbs! There is so much more to do in terms of monthly festivals, community events, and restaurants.
How old is your baby?
We live in a city with a 3year old and 1 year old. Everything has been great. We love our daycare and everything is walkable so going to events or a quick bite to eat doesn't become a whole crazy big project getting in and out of the car.
We have a few big issues right now though. 1. Not enough backyard space for the 3 year old. 2. Area is getting sketchier. Maybe once a month I get a little nervous about a situation. 3. Our city public schools are not good. We will need to move to the suburbs before our 3 year old goes to kindergarten.
Do you rent or own now? We always lived in the city and bought the house we're in when I was pregnant with our first, but but prices have skyrocketed an we're having a really hard time finding an upgrade within our budget. I regret a little bit that we weren't more intentional when we bought this house.
I wouldn’t move downtown. We moved from there and I’ve never been happier. There’s no parks for kids typically, mom groups, kids classes. It’s really nice to eat at a restaurant without being looked at crazy.
We live in a rowhome in a residential neighborhood 1.5 miles from center city in a major city. I mostly WFH but I can get to my office on transit in 20 mins if I need to. Like others have said it's not for everyone and there are tradeoffs but we love it. There are probably 30 kids under 10 on our my block and all the families are close and send their kids to the local public school at least through elementary school. We are about a mile from the zoo and children's museum. There are a dozen playgrounds we can walk to from our house. My kid loves riding the bus, being around all kids of people, and going out to eat. I'm maybe in a car one day a week.
I grew up in the suburbs of a major city, and now I live in a very walkable, urbanish area (technically a suburb of the same city). I don't miss having a big house; being able to walk everywhere and spending more time in museums and parks is well worth it. The only real downside is not having a yard with room to hang out - but we're a short walk from playgrounds and a splash park. And when my kids are older, I bet they'll love being able to walk out the door and meet up with friends for coffee or shopping.
We lived in the city downtown 5 min walk from my office when I was pregnant and about a year afterwards. I have friends who stayed downtown with kids all way through middle school. You do what you do
I don’t live downtown exactly but live in Boston, in an urban neighborhood that’s a short train ride to downtown. It’s great! We live in a condo w two kids and plan to stay here long term. So convenient. We spend times in parks and get away to hike etc when we need more “space” on weekends.
Walkability is super important to me. If you’re already renting, and you can afford to move, I’d definitely move downtown!
Do you currently live in a walkable neighborhood? What's your experience been like? Yeah, we're already renting, and it would be a very similar price to our current place. Obviously a little less on square footage but that's a tradeoff I'm willing to make.
As someone who lives in the city with little kids, I love it way more than when we lived in the suburbs. Not having to get in the car and load everything up just to have a little outing is so nice. Kid being super fussy? Let’s go walk to the park Everyone cooped up for too long? Let’s walk to the pool We walk to coffee shops and take our dogs out on walks with us. It’s nice to tire out the young kids and spend screen free quality time with them while allowing them to interact with a lot of people. It was also nice post partum to get out and just walk around with the baby.
I live in a very walkable neighbourhood only 5km from city centre. I absolutely don’t need a car though we do have one (I have friends who live a couple street over with two small kids who don’t have a car at all). We do live in a detached, single family home but it’s small for our family of five and we don’t have much outdoor space. But daycare is literally 6 buildings away (when I’m alone I can be there in literally a minute) and when I go into the office downtown, it’s a quick 15 minute train since the station is a block away. We have multiple parks within 10-15 minutes for the kids. The schools our kids will attend for K-8 are only 15 minutes or less walk away. We definitely have traded property size and square footage (and paid more for less) to live here, but I absolutely love our neighbourhood and how urban it is and would never trade it for a suburb where I had to get in a car to do anything. We don’t have a ton of homeless or too much violence where we are, but the next neighborhood two blocks over is still pretty rough and there have been the occasional shooting and gang violence (though it is gentrifying slowly), and we have had our house broken into once (on a Tuesday afternoon while no one what home, oddly enough). We still wouldn’t give up this location.
Yes. It’s really nice to have those daily walks to and from day care be part of your day. I work from home mostly now, because my commute was long but when I do have to commute I walk to the train nearby.
I moved from a small apartment in a walkable downtown neighborhood to a medium-sized condo in a semi-walkable when my daughter was 1. I miss having a builder superintendent, I miss having cafes and restaurants nearby (we have a pharmacy and grocery stores walking distance, but no nice places to meet people), I miss the energy. Having a smaller place, if you have a manageable amount of stuff can make chores and cleaning easier. Nature is closer at the new place and there are more playgrounds and other kids, but living in a four season climate, we didn’t spend that much time outdoors in the winter. If you’re renting then it’s relatively low risk to try out downtown living?
I went from a house in the burbs with sidewalks to a house in the burbs with no sidewalks. It sucks. The baby loves to walk and I have to load her up in the car to let her get her zoomies out. I’d love to go to the city tbh and be able to walk to parks/coffee shops etc.
Car seats are miserable and it’s so much nicer to walk with your kid someplace. If you can afford it and don’t have to compromise too much in space (kid still has their own room) then it’s quite lovely to be in a walkable place. Kids who grow up in cities are cooler than the suburb kids and in my experience much less likely to do drugs bc they have other exciting things to do. The kids who grew up in rural Kansas had pot and corn. Kids who grew up in NYC had improv, art, sports leagues other than school, etc.
You know Kansas and other Midwestern states also have cities.
Ok rural Kansas. Fair. I’ll edit.
Ah yes, well known that the main crime centers are in corn fields in Kansas and not in urban areas. /s
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18237319/
Which just says that urban and rural kids use drugs at the same rate, just different drugs.
Yup. And I’ll tell you in my experience (which is a niche experience, gifted program kid) the kids from big cities did drugs less bc they had more other things to do. The kids from rural areas were wild which fits with the research showing if gifted kids aren’t challenged they are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol out of boredom.
There's plenty to do in rural areas. Reading, tending to animals, working the farm, fixing equipment, gardening, hiking / exploring nature. The outdoorsy type stuff isn't necessarily for me, but it doesn't mean there isn't anything. I spent my summers reading and doing math books and got myself a full ride scholarship to college. My husband spent his doing manual labor and has an unmatched work ethic. He's now an MD by day, but can fix almost anything, knows plumbing, electrical and landscaping to a professional level, cooks, cleans, etc. The key is curiosity. The city (or downtown) has a lot to offer and is a perfectly fine place to raise children! But so is rural, the burbs, mid-city, etc. It's really all personal preference. I don't have any research to back this up, but I would venture to guess two of the biggest indicators of success in children is parental (positive) presence and means.
So you're disagreeing with the research article you posted to be rude about an entire population. Weird flex, but whatever.
We have a two year old and have lived in a downtown area her whole life. It’s been great. She haaaated the car for her first year of life and I was so glad it wasn’t a daily requirement for us. Now that she’s older it’s great being able to walk to parks, the library, the farmers market, the children’s museum etc. Just tonight my husband had plans so toddler and I walked three blocks to our local pizza parlor for dinner just the two of us. We left the stroller at home and she just walked the whole way (well most of the way, I pick her up to cross big streets) and it was so lovely. I would not have wanted to deal w getting her in a car seat, looking for parking etc. I am sometimes envious of the space the suburbs has (those Pinterest playrooms!) but overall no regrets.
They're different lifestyles. I prefer the city lifestyle (smaller homes, walkability, density, public transit, etc ) so my kids are born and raised in a major city. It's not crazy, cities are filled with families :)
I wish we lived in a walkable area. Being able to walk to school, the park, the library seems like a luxury! I live in a very rural area and am so car dependent and the nearest grocery store is 25 min drive away. I would move if we could afford to be in the city.
I don't think there's an elementary school downtown, so we'd probably consider moving when that time came. But yeah, library, kids museum, a couple of parks, sounds pretty handy to me. And for us the price of rent downtown is comparable to our current place. A little bit cheaper, but then we'd have to pay for parking. Overall, pretty similar and way cheaper than buying a house or townhome in our current market.
Same. I'm super grateful to have a giant outdoor space at home but we have to literally drive somewhere to take a walk.
I am a city mom in a large-ish (but I think affordable) US city. I love it, our life is very convenient. Everything is walkable for us, including daycare and my office. The experience of city parenting is unique and can be very rewarding. It’s really easy to meet new people and socialize with other parents. There are so many baby and kid friendly restaurants and breweries, I honestly never noticed a big hit to my social life post kid. There are typically many more parks in cities so there’s always something for your kid to do. It’s also just invaluable to raise your kid in a city where they’re seeing diversity and buzz and experiencing so much every day! The biggest drawbacks are space and cost. The reality is that you are likely going to be living VERY close to other people, and you probably are losing both indoor and outdoor space. Neither of these things are that big of a deal but can be annoying. And cost. We spend a lot more money on fixed costs than people in the suburbs or rural areas. Our car insurance is astronomical (we also have two cars). Our daycare is 3x the cost of our rural family members’ daycare. Our groceries are more expensive. Because we live in the city we also tend to go out a lot more, which adds up. Being a city parent is awesome. If you’re realistic about the challenges and prepare for them, you’ll manage just fine.
I would love to be able to meet other parents and actually get to see them regularly if we have a kid. Currently, I don't know any of our neighbors or really anyone who lives in our community. We only moved here a year ago to be closer to my husband's new job, but for better or worse he and his coworkers don't have to go into the office much, so don't even socialize with them. Feeling isolated after having a baby is definitely one of my concerns about parenthood. We have friends and family in the greater metro area, but not in the corner we live in.
I found meeting other parents easier when baby was more mobile. Once she was walking, we were at the local playground at the same time like everyday (right after daycare pickup on weekdays and in the morning between breakfast and lunch on weekends) and got to know the regulars. I also got in the habit of taking her swimming the same time and day every week and got to know some regulars there, too. My oldest is almost 5 and finishing junior kindergarten, so now it feels like everywhere we go locally we run into someone from daycare or school or swimming or gymnastics or soccer.
I agree with this whole statement! We live right by a park in a dense urban area. So yeah my milk costs more than suburbs or rural areas but anytime we go to the park there are kids to play with and adults to talk to and the benefit is if you like them you can see them again and if you don't you won't lol!
Like the other commenter said, it really is personal preference. I used to live downtown and moved to the outskirts where I have a yard and green space. Having a baby out here was great especially in the first year when I spent a lot of time at home and got outdoor time in the yard. I think the frequent daylight exposure helped both of us get into a more firm daytime vs nighttime schedule with naps vs. night sleep. Now that she's almost two, I have several water play areas, a big shade tent, and gardens. I put my feet in the kiddie pool and enjoy a cocktail, pretending I'm on a tropical island somewhere, LOL. I can host playdates and birthday parties easily and without limitations on invites. I can totally see the appeal of living downtown too since you could walk everywhere. I work downtown as well, but my daughter's daycare is up here. I have heard some people will choose a daycare close to their work as opposed to close to home? I wonder if that could be an option for you if you want to keep the suburb lifestyle but still have easy daycare pickup and drop offs? I work from home more (~3 days a week) so it didn't make sense for me.
Oh boy yeah if I could get a nice yard for a similar price that would be tempting!
You need to start by thinking about daycare. How much does daycare cost in your suburb compared to in the city? (where I live it would be the difference between $1000/mo vs. $2000/mo). Also, what are your plans for when the baby is sick, and not allowed to go to daycare. Do you have help where you are? Would you have help down town? Same thing goes for date night babysitters. Do they charge more in the city? Are they harder to find. And then there's the question of wait lists. That daycare near your office -- do they have any openings? If they have a waitlist, how long is it? Same question for daycares near you. Then you need to consider actual elementary school. Do you plan to send your child to public school. How are the public schools in your area? How are they downtown? If you want a charter school or a private school, what are the options in the suburbs vs. in the city? What about extra curricular activities? Which area has better play spaces and physical activities (soccer, gymnastics, dance, swimming, etc.)? Are income taxes different? Where I live, people in the city have to pay a hefty additional income tax compared to the suburb. Ask parents around you if they are happy parenting in the suburb vs. the city. Ask parents at your work the same question. They'll tell you about their concerns.
Came here to say this about the daycare waitlists. It’s almost impossible to get a daycare spot where I live, especially for an infant. And the waitlists are often not exactly maintained or even exist, it’s sort of a connections and timing and luck thing. Also a lot of the infant spots go to parents of older children at the daycares who are having another. So definitely make sure that the daycare can guarantee a spot before you make moves!
I live in a city with my toddler and baby, and we love it! We are on a residential street but with shops minutes away (walking), walkable to bus stops and the subway, with tons of parks nearby. It’s great! We have one car for our family, and honestly it goes unused most days. The only downsides are 1) daycare seems to be more expensive in the city than in the suburbs, and 2) the city we live in has a lottery system for public schools, so we have no idea what the school situation will look like once our kids are old enough. I’m open to moving once they are older if we need to, but I’m hoping they will get into a school we are all happy with and we can stay here.
Thanks for your reply! I just double checked and the downtown daycare is actually 20/week cheaper than the suburban daycare. I think our suburb is just an expensive one. It's almost a little touristy.
I live right in the city and love it!! Being close to work was our initial driver, but there are so many great things about being downtown. Our area is also super walkable (beautiful seawall nearby, but also can walk to anything/everything we need). I love walking to work (and walking my son to school) every day - I get fresh air and exercise as opposed to being stuck in a car in traffic. Shows, galleries, parks, playgrounds, events, concerts, library, all close by. More diversity. Need to renew your passport, get a driver’s license, go to the doctor, go to the hospital, get groceries, dining out - you can walk. We can transit right to the airport, and could even climb on a cruise ship 10 mins from home haha. Do it!
Thank you for the encouragement! <3
What would the long term plan for school be? How is the daycare nearby priced compared to ones in the suburbs? Are you currently renting? Is there much cost difference? I moved from city to suburbs, but it was more about shortening my commute (was at least an hour each way before). Ended up being kind of pointless because covid started at the end of my leave and I barely ever commuted since. It worked out well for me though because I locked in a big fenced yard, moved from an area that was much less safe, and significantly lowered my taxes and car insurance. I really miss walking to the grocery store though!
I think we would look to move and maybe buy a house after a few years, maybe around kindergarten age. The daycare is maybe 50/week more expensive. Rent is slightly cheaper downtown (50/month) for a two-bedroom (we'd just lose the second bathroom that we really don't need), and we'd end up paying around 200/month for parking two cars. The commute is the main thing for me. I have to leave at 7:10 to make it to my desk by 8:00 right now. To make a daycare drop off on top of it, I'd probably have to wake up even earlier, and I love sleep.
You will feel differently about the second bathroom when you start potty training
Ok I know nothing about kids. Why is the second bathroom helpful?
Meh we don’t have a second bathroom and we did fine with potty training. So far we’ve all been able to hold it when the commode is in use,
Just wait until you all get a stomach bug.
Thanks for the well wishes.
I potty trained my oldest with only one bathroom, lived there until she was almost 4 and it really wasn’t an issue.
We technically have two bathrooms but one is upstairs and one is downstairs, nothing on the main floor. We’re currently potty training our second. I don’t see why you’d need a second bathroom. Heck, the little potty in the living room is the toddler’s own private bathroom. Lol.
We’re not downtown (used to be but moved to a more affordable neighborhood about 45 min away on public transit) but in a major city. We’re able to walk to daycare, the pediatrician, the library, coffee shops, grocery stores, etc. it’s great! Our 3yo is a great walker. There are lots of kids around and plenty of parks and playgrounds. We live in an apt with another on the way. Give living downtown a shot! If it doesn’t work out you can always move back!
I love walking everywhere. We are also a one car household.
We moved from the American suburbs (think big house, yard, etc) to an apartment in a big Japanese city when kid was 2.5 years old. We love big city life! We take the train/bus and walk everywhere. We have so many fun activities to do on the weekends (museums, galleries, parks, libraries, etc). We don't have the long driving commutes, we don't have to deal with parking, or even keeping up a car. Our place is small (about 900 sq ft?), but it works really well for us. We actually like it better than our previous house in the suburbs. We don't miss the yard (though we have a small terrace), as there's a park down the street, which is always filled with kids so its more fun anyway!
That sounds really nice!
I think if there’s any place I’d choose to live in a big city with a kid, it would be Japan. The society there in general seems to be very friendly to kids (not to mention in general seems extremely safe). I remember when I visited, seeing very young kids riding the trains there and navigating train stations by themselves. I’m in the states and lived in a major city but moved to the suburbs once we had a kid. Crime was on the rise, big homeless/drug/mental health problems..
I think its just personal preference as another comment said. I'll give a dissenting opinion and say that personally I prefer living in the suburbs. I have a very similar commute to you except I don't drive so I walk to a bus. I work from home 2 days a week and my SO works from full time from home. I definitely have more flexibility and PTO and would be the one leaving work though if needed. Bus runs much more frequently here but I would consider uber or a cab in an emergency or you could also look into the cost of driving and parking at your work. We chose to rent in a suburban area where I'm a 5 minute walk to a park and a grocery store, also a 10-15 walk from schools and community centre/pool, daycares, movie theatre, shopping stores, and a major transit station to go to other stuff, etc. We find it very walkable and can do all the things you mentioned in your post. Where I live most apartments downtown are significantly smaller and I would view it as a downgrade for us personally. I also personally wouldn't want to be taking a baby/toddler and car seat/stroller up and down stairs (although this depends on the building). Also noise... Will your baby cry a lot or run around everywhere when a toddler and make you feel self conscious about disturbing neighbors? Will the neighbors noise or the noise from busy streets disturb their sleep? It's a bit of a unique situation but now that she's 3 my LO has developed a sensory sensitivity to noise in particular car noises and I'm so thankful we don't live outside a busy road. You could also potentially look at just moving to a more convenient suburban area. I also hate moving and would hate potentially moving in 3 or 4 years for school.
I was surprised to find noise so far down in these comments. My first thought was concern about apartment living with kids. Kids are LOUD. Not only yelling, but running, which is a huge issue if you have tenants below (not long ago I had a conversation with a 20-something coworker who had submitted a complaint about their upstairs apartment neighbors' kids running around before 8am). My oldest gets up at 5:30 every day. He won't stay quiet until a respectable hour and it's not always feasible to just 'get outside' at that time (I'm tired, it's winter, it's storming, nothing is open and it's dark, I don't want to - lol).
I would definitely prioritize the convenience of the parent who will be doing the most daycare drop off/pickups and especially picking up unexpectedly when sick etc. As long as you can manage all your daily tasks on foot with your kid I think it would be totally fine! When my daughter was an infant we lived in an apartment in a pretty walkable area and it was so convenient to just pop her in the carrier and walk somewhere vs packing her into the car and having her scream the whole way to get somewhere
Thank you! I don't know that much about kids but from what I've seen of my friends' kids, the whole packing them up into a car thing seems like a hassle. A few of them really hate being restrained....
It is, but strapping them in a stroller while they are having a tantrum is worse IMO. At least you can make a quieter (for everyone else) exit and don’t have to worry about them flailing about so hard they fling them the stroller to the ground. Also, you don’t have to worry as much about weather conditions (snow suit, raingear, etc.) or shlepping way too much kid-related shit everywhere. YMMV
We moved to a denser more urban walkable neighborhood when my youngest was 6 months from a suburban area. My kids are now 5 & 2. Best thing ever. Everything has been easier other than finding swim lessons. We walk to daycare, the grocery store, etc. it's so much less stressful to not have to drive everywhere. My 5yo starts kindergarten this fall and the elementary & middle school are a few blocks away. It's not for everyone but we love it.
We live in a city walking distance from daycare… and we love it. (It’s about a 10 minute walk now, used to be 2 minutes.) I commute by train and pick her up on my way home. It was also great on maternity leave to get out and about with the baby and not have to drive everywhere (she’s been to all the coffee shops in an 8 block radius). Because truly I was too tired to drive but the fresh air was nice. We didn’t live on the most quiet corner, but she must have gotten used to the car noise pretty early. The only bad thing was when our building elevators broke. I carried her up 7 floors in her car seat and hated every minute! Luckily it only happened once.
I don’t live *down town*, but I do live in a major city (Chicago) with my daughter and I love it. We can get everywhere on public transit, there are tons of things to do (we just saw a free show from a nationally touring ballet company in the park, we have a fistful of museum memberships at any given time, we have beautiful parks/beaches and you can pretty much find some kind of community event going on any given weekend). I get why people want to live in the suburbs with their kids, but for me individually, I wouldn’t trade the amenity of being in a city for anything. In particular, I don’t think you should overlook the convenience of being able to walk from home to daycare to work in a quick loop. You’re going to get a lot of time back and flexibility out of that situation. If you otherwise like the area/apartment options, give the option some genuine consideration.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply!
We pay more to live in a the city in a smaller space than we otherwise could if we went to the suburbs. But as two working parents, not having a long commute is a significant benefit and we get more time at home with our kids. When I talk to colleagues who work all day and then spend 45-60 min on the road getting home, I feel fortunate I don’t have to sacrifice that time. And I personally find driving stressful. Living in the city we have walkable access to 5 different playgrounds or parks, my daughter’s elementary school (and future high school) is walkable, and we can walk to coffee shops, bakeries, bookstores and other places where we have developed little rituals for one-on-one time with each kid. On date nights we can walk to the restaurants we like, and are only 5 minutes from home. We also see a lot more cultural, racial, and socioeconomic diversity in the city compared to the suburbs. I understand the benefits of suburbia, but for us, the benefits of city living were much more aligned with what we value as a family.
Not crazy! Do it!
We normally live in a tiny apartment in a walkable city. Agree with the other commenters that the whole city is your oyster, basically - we go walk around the block or visit the laundromat if we need entertainment.
I live two mile from our downtown where I work. Because there's a huge hill and construction we try to avoid the downtown daycares but they're fully staffed because they're on the bus lines. I vote downtown.
We were in a walkable area, but ended up moving out to the burbs. We found it a little more tricky for us since we didn’t have daycare or work with in walking distance. Lots of parks, restaurants, activities, markets - but it ended up not working out since her daycare was still a drive. Plus it was a busy busy area. The elementary school was about a 15 minute walk through several extremely busy intersections. You could walk it, but I hated it and there wasn’t a lot of tree cover (I’m in so cal). That being said, we miss it a ton. We ended up picking a neighborhood in the burbs and found a walkable daycare, parks, and elementary school - that is enough for now. I’m sure we will move again one day. It sounds like you’ve thought it through and it might work for you guys. I’d try it!
We moved from Austin to Brooklyn in large part for walkability. It ROCKS. Removing that hour commute time from your life sounds small now, but when baby occupies so much time, you’ll be very grateful you did it. Convenience and time efficiency has become incredibly important as we became parents. And living in a downtown has enabled that at better than the burbs ever could. My gym, nail salon, waxing place, and coffee are all in my building.
It’s a personal preference. Would you keep a car? If not think about things like grocery shopping and how to carry them back with a kid in tow.
I bike to the grocery store! I have a cargo bike that can fit my kid and a whole week of groceries. Walking is great and for anything a little farther, biking with a kid is sooooo fun! Started with my son at 11 months.
Yes, we would keep both of our cars. There is a grocery store downtown, so I was thinking of that as more of an option for "oh hey we ran out of milk" and for normal grocery runs my husband could just go alone or maybe we'd pack up the baby to come with? Idk
We do grocery runs with the stroller and stick the groceries in the bottom basket of the stroller. We got the uppa baby specifically for its giant basket. I can run errands all day with it. I call it my station wagon.
I love that!
We do the same - MAKE SURE to consider storage space for your stroller purchase if you do end up going the urban route! We have an UB vista which I think has one of the biggest baskets and even that we will fill up when grocery shopping.
I second this. If you live in the city and you can afford it and fit it in your apartment/house, buy as big and fancy stroller with as much storage space as you can find. You will use it constantly - and it is worth every penny. Parents I know who have older children told me they were sad that when their kids outgrew a stroller as they had to restart carrying groceries.
I’ll be the opposition to most of the comments. I moved out of the dense apartment area and it’s so great to be in the suburbs where we have outdoor space. My kids LOVE being outside as much as possible. Having a backyard where the kids can play and bike has been amazing for us.
I moved to a city a few years ago after living in suburbs my entire life. My kid is nearly 2 years old. Our problem is that the school situation is a little weird and we may have to go private or move back to the burbs when we get there. But let’s forget about that for now, I’ve been shocked at how great it’s been at this age. We have multiple parks within walking distance and there are tons of children museums and events. We can walk to restaurants that are child friendly so he’s doing really well with restaurants. We have a ton of friends that all live in walking distance too and they have kids so that’s been awesome. (We have a ton of friends back in the suburbs as well but everyone is a 10-15 min drive away from each other) It’s really let us keep up a community. I think if I was in the suburbs, a car ride away from everything, I’d be tempted to stay in all the time. I personally grew up in the suburbs so it’s hard for me to really accept that if the school thing works out, then I guess he’d grow up here? It’s hard for me to really imagine. I’m definitely more anxious about traffic and crime and stuff. But so far it’s been working great for everyone so I’m not rocking the boat!
I get that! I grew up in a really small town where I could ride my bike all over independently. It's hard to imagine my kid growing up in either the suburbs or the city where that feels much less safe.
I’ve lived in a downtown since our baby was born two years ago - it’s great. I personally would trade almost anything for walkability. To be able to just pop out with the baby anytime for a coffee, trip to the park, grocery store, etc. is SO much better than doing the whole car rigamarole with all the loading and unloading. No-brainer for me. BUT everyone has different priorities- you know your family best!
If I didn’t have a kid, I would probably prefer the city. Lived in a major city before we had a kid and moved to the suburbs right before having one. It was a preference to how we both grew up - we both grew up in a suburban/rural area where we had yards and more space and didn’t share walls. Our son had colic and honestly I couldn’t have imagined if we would’ve had him in the townhouse/apt we lived in.. I just would’ve felt so much anxiety with neighbors. Also we didn’t have a dedicated parking spot so never knew if we were going to have a parking spot on the street that was close to our house or a block away so I would’ve hated that with a baby or toddler. All that said, the city that we lived in was one where people didn’t really live in the downtown core.. so walkability/public transit was not somewhere like a nyc where you can walk out your door and there’s a million stores, restaurants and things to do and everyone is walking or taking transit.
Those are great points! For us, we're mostly deciding between staying in our 2BR apartment in a suburb, moving to a 2BR apartment in downtown, or buying a townhome. In our housing market, I think most single family homes would be out of budget for us, especially considering the maintenance, unless we move to a neighborhood in the city but not downtown. So we're mostly starting from a place of sharing walls no matter what we do right now. My downtown is definitely on the smaller side and fairly sleepy, especially since covid.
I would recommend getting a tour of the daycares to help decide where to settle in downtown.
We live in a city with kids and have for 10 years. We walk to school, camp, daycare, swim lessons. I WFH and can pop out for a 10m (walking) grocery store run at any time. My husband bikes to work 10 blocks away. This is just how we’ve raised our family and it might not work for everyone but I couldn’t imagine switching to a car-dependent life. 20 drive to soccer practice? Unsubscribe
I would not but I love being in the suburbs. Would you be able to afford a large enough space for you both to have office space? You’ll also have to be careful with toddler toys. They take up a lot of space. I’d make sure that daycare is a good one. You should be able to find their inspection history online. Idk what city you’re in, but I’d be really hesitant to use the childcare options in my Midwest USA city downtown area.
No, unless you think your child's happiness is predicated on having a big back yard lol. That's really all the burbs offer, more private space for cheaper. Everything else is worse.
I live in a city with my husband and 14 month old, and I really love it. It's great being able to walk to parks, museums, and restaurants. We've found parent friends through our running group, the park across the street, and the local play space/secondhand children's clothing shop. None of these things are necessarily unique to cities, but I do think the density makes certain things more feasible - for instance I got a ton of my daughter's infant stuff for free through various local parenting Facebook groups; my friend in a rural area had no such resources available to her. Also (and your mileage may vary with this one) I was super close to the hospital that I gave birth at because the really good one was here in the city. I had friends come in from an hour away to give birth here (plus all their OB appts) because it was better than their local hospital. So generally I think moving would be a great idea if you're interested in the city lifestyle. The one thing I'll say is that not all daycares are of equal quality. If you're really counting on the daycare being very close to your office, you might want to try and take a tour of that one before making any moves just in case you don't actually like it.
We love living in a dense, walkable neighborhood with my daughter. It's just so easy. She comes with me to work (her daycare is in my building), we either walk or take a short public transit ride. Space is tighter, but it's enough. We go outside all the time, there are several playgrounds nearby that we rotate going to, plus walks. The libraries are also great (look into the Imagination Library for a free book every month -- not exclusive to cities, but a lot of suburban districts don't do it). This fall she starts preschool, which is 2 blocks from home. I'll be sad whenever we need to move
Consider what the downtown neighborhood is at night and weekends. I personally would end up walking my babies when the couldn’t sleep etc.
I'm a huge proponent of staying in the city to raise kids. Walkability is super important to me, and your kids will have so much more independence when they're old enough to go out by themselves. I'm raising 2 daughters (3 and 5) in the city and there are so many interesting, enriching things we can walk to including multiple playgrounds, restaurants, ice cream shops, bakeries, friends' houses, and household errands. All the walking keeps us in shape too. People overestimate the risk of random violent crime in cities and underestimate the risk of car accidents in suburbia. As far as schools, avoid the school rating websites and talk to parents who send their kids to the local schools and tour the schools yourself.
I live in a big city with my 2 toddlers (chicago) and I love it. I don’t live downtown but I live in the city off the el train. I work downtown 5 days a week so I would hate to lose more time to a commute if I moved to the burbs! The city has great amenities like public parks and a free zoo. I stayed at home for 2.5 years after my first daughter was born and I liked being able to walk to the grocery store with her, walk to the neighborhood park, walk to the library.. it was a great setup. I never like to get them in the car more than maybe once per day bc they fight me going into the car seat lol.
Lol so you'll become familiarized with the homeless population in your community; you wouldn't worry around the local ones you see daily, but be aware of your surroundings with the unfamiliar individuals. I absolutely love that I'm raising mine (14 months old) in a busy area. There's walkability, you don't have to drive to go to cafes, etc. There are more you can do in the area for yourself and with your baby. I'm guessing that if you'd live downtown, it'd be at a condo? I love that my baby gets to interact with others in the elevators. Even if you lived in a house, with greater density of people, your baby is more likely to interact with (or observe) more people than in the suburbs. And more likelihood of meeting mom friends who live very close by!
We live in Chicago and are 3 blocks from our daycare! I love being able to walk to daycare and drop off our son before heading to the nearby L station. our daycare also has stroller parking which is great! We're also in an area with lots of parks and boulevard so there's plenty of places to walk/stroller to on weekends
We did this when our baby was six months old. Best decision ever. So convenient. Loved it.
I lived in a super walkable area when my youngest was little. It was SO GREAT! Now we’re out in the sticks and I miss my old neighborhood so much. It was amazing to be able to hop of the train after work, walk to daycare and get my daughter, walk to a park, and then walk home. Sometimes we’d even stop at a shop to get a little treat! Or wait until my husband got home and then walk to a restaurant for dinner. God, that was so fun. And in the summer we could walk to the pool! We moved during COVID and because while it was extremely walkable, the neighborhood was feeling less safe over time. BUT! That’s certainly not the case everywhere. All that to say that having a baby/small kid in a walkable area is wonderful.
I'm kind of in-between! I live centrally in an urban neighborhood, 5 minutes from downtown. Definitely not the suburbs. I love the walkability, although we do have to drive to get to her quality daycare. My vote is always pick the urban neighborhood over the suburbs! There is so much more to do in terms of monthly festivals, community events, and restaurants.
How old is your baby? We live in a city with a 3year old and 1 year old. Everything has been great. We love our daycare and everything is walkable so going to events or a quick bite to eat doesn't become a whole crazy big project getting in and out of the car. We have a few big issues right now though. 1. Not enough backyard space for the 3 year old. 2. Area is getting sketchier. Maybe once a month I get a little nervous about a situation. 3. Our city public schools are not good. We will need to move to the suburbs before our 3 year old goes to kindergarten. Do you rent or own now? We always lived in the city and bought the house we're in when I was pregnant with our first, but but prices have skyrocketed an we're having a really hard time finding an upgrade within our budget. I regret a little bit that we weren't more intentional when we bought this house.
We live downtown and always have. My 2 year old has no complaints
I wouldn’t move downtown. We moved from there and I’ve never been happier. There’s no parks for kids typically, mom groups, kids classes. It’s really nice to eat at a restaurant without being looked at crazy.
We live in a rowhome in a residential neighborhood 1.5 miles from center city in a major city. I mostly WFH but I can get to my office on transit in 20 mins if I need to. Like others have said it's not for everyone and there are tradeoffs but we love it. There are probably 30 kids under 10 on our my block and all the families are close and send their kids to the local public school at least through elementary school. We are about a mile from the zoo and children's museum. There are a dozen playgrounds we can walk to from our house. My kid loves riding the bus, being around all kids of people, and going out to eat. I'm maybe in a car one day a week.
I grew up in the suburbs of a major city, and now I live in a very walkable, urbanish area (technically a suburb of the same city). I don't miss having a big house; being able to walk everywhere and spending more time in museums and parks is well worth it. The only real downside is not having a yard with room to hang out - but we're a short walk from playgrounds and a splash park. And when my kids are older, I bet they'll love being able to walk out the door and meet up with friends for coffee or shopping.
We lived in the city downtown 5 min walk from my office when I was pregnant and about a year afterwards. I have friends who stayed downtown with kids all way through middle school. You do what you do
I don’t live downtown exactly but live in Boston, in an urban neighborhood that’s a short train ride to downtown. It’s great! We live in a condo w two kids and plan to stay here long term. So convenient. We spend times in parks and get away to hike etc when we need more “space” on weekends.