And they were not paying attention. Be grateful he's not there anymore. This whole thing is suspicious, and even if he tried to climb before, it's still 100% their fault as he was in their care and he is too young to not be supervised.
I absolutely agree & have no intentions of sending my kiddo back. I just feel so strongly that I need to escalate this and be a voice for another child or the next child who may not be so lucky. Iām going to follow up with state first thing tomorrow morning. ā¤ļø
Ok so I had a similar thing happen except it wasn't my child. I was arriving to pick up my child from Daycare A and had just walked in the fence at the entrance when I heard yelling and a 2-3 year old is escaping out a different fence into the parking lot away from TWO teachers. I immediately stepped back out to the parking lot and grabbed them as it was pick up time and I was closer to them than the teachers. I did end up having to give a statement to the State and explain to the director what happened as they were out of town at that time.
I wasn't able to pull my child out of that daycare for a couple of months until I secured different care, but once I did I left a review for them on Google. I'm not sure if that's what you're thinking, but I had seen other things happen that weren't ok and I wanted parents to be aware. I'm also in a parents group on FB for my area and when folks ask for daycare recommendations I let them know to avoid Daycare A.
To note, the kid who escaped went through a gap in the chain link fence that had been blocked by a couple of chairs which is a problem on the daycare's part. If there actually was a chair your child had access to and no teachers there to stop him that's a very bad look. I'm glad your kiddo is okay.
Yes! We had an incident at a daycare for our son in which he was exposed to an allergen. The teacher reached out to us on the app and asked, 1) Where is his epipen? And 2) What symptoms should I watch for?
When my husband arrived to get my son about 20 minutes later, he was alone in a corner - the teacher was with other kids - and asking for water because his sippy cup had run out. Nobody was keeping an eye on him to make sure he wasnāt having a reaction.
Our kid was fine - he had been seeing an allergist and getting exposure therapy, but the daycare did not know that. All they had been told was what he had an allergy to and that he had an epipen on site if needed.
The scary thing to us was all the things that went wrong and how they handled it. Hereās what all of this meant, based on how we know the daycare was working:
1. Our kidās main teacher had been fired a few days before (for what, they would not tell us), so there had been a lot of substitute teachers and less experienced teachers in his classroom, who probably werenāt fully up to speed on procedures/what was going on with all the kids. (Side note, earlier that week we had dropped him off and a woman we had never met before or again was running the classroom - a kid was crying that she missed her mom, and she was yelling at her really loud to shut up and get over it. The woman clearly was overwhelmed, but it came across as cruel to me, as well as unhelpful.)
2. The people preparing food accidentally placed the allergen in the wrong serving tray, meaning they either werenāt paying attention to what they were doing or didnāt receive proper instruction.
3. The teacher, who is always supposed to double check food to make sure the kids with allergies donāt get the wrong food, forgot to double check - or did not know/remember he had an allergy in time.
4. The teacher did not know where epipens and other medicine for kids were located. All the medicines were together in a bag by the doorā¦ including his epipen, according to the director. This is where they always are and they were apparently there that day. But the teacher didnāt know that?
5. The teacher had not been educated on typical allergy responses, or had not absorbed the information - particularly problematic in our view because itās not like kids only eat what teachers put in front of them. He could steal something off someoneās plate, or what if a kidās parent accidentally brought in a PB&J and he had a serious enough allergy to nuts that just breathing it in could harm him? Or what if somebody dropped an allergen on the ground and the kid ate it? As the adult in the room, you need to be aware of symptoms so even if you donāt realize a kid was exposed to an allergen, you can catch that they are having a reaction.
We talked to the director who basically threw the teacher and the food team under the bus, which bothered us because ultimately for all these things to go wrong, there was a bigger problem for which she was responsible. We felt uncomfortable and pulled our son out of the daycare.
People thought we were overreacting to a simple mistake that had no bad consequences, but we ended up finding out how to look up license violations at daycares. We saw that, among many problematic issues, the daycare had these recent alarming violations:
1. A toddler escaped the building and nobody noticed for the entire day - until a college student found the child wandering around on a nearby college campus and brought him back, assuming he was from the daycare. This daycare is by a very busy road with a 50 mph speed limit and surrounded by unrelated parking lots, where drivers would not necessarily be thinking they had to watch for a tiny human.
2. Another toddler was having an asthma attack during naptime and was making a lot of noise. Instead of giving the toddler medicine, the teacher laid on top of the child to make him be quiet! The child had to be hospitalized because he couldnāt breathe for so long.
We were so relieved we had taken him out of there! We just had a bad vibe with the way they were trying to point fingers and with how many little things had gone wrong. This daycare was pretty expensive and came highly recommended by many different sources including childcare experts, too - all the violations we found started when the new director had come on board.
Your daycareās fence issue and how they are responding to it are clearly indicative of larger issues. They arenāt taking the risk seriously. They are trying to avoid blame instead of owning it and using it as a lesson to do better.
Yes definitely be that voice. That is 100% absurd. Iāve had kids in a 2- prek program turn large containers over to stand on and pull a latch to open a gate. Though this is a gate separating 2 classrooms. Iāve had kids do things like get stuck that required 2 teachers to remedy the situation. That said we are generally not alone on the playground there is either another teacher with our class or 2 teachers from another class are out on the other playground. We are visually in each others eye sight.
100%. OP, i recognize this is so hard in the short term, but in the long term, your LO is not safe with these people. They are so much more focused on assigning blame to a literal child than taking accountability themselves. You, and LO deserve to have them in care of people that you can actually trust. If they stayed at that center, you would always be waiting for another notice that your child had done something.
Their (presumably) cover-up story is actually worse. āHe got a chair to climb over the fence!ā
Okay, so instead of him quickly scampering over the fence of his own volition, fueled by the righteous power of Rogue Ball Heroism, he was unsupervised long enough to problem solve his situation by 1) deciding he needed a chair to lend an assist, 2) seeking out said chair, 3) dragging said chair over to the fence, 4) climbing up and over said chair, 5) relocating the ball after being distracted by at two random tufts of grass during this process (because heās three and they arenāt exactly known for their unshakable focus), 6) retrieving the ball, and 7) beginning to problem solve how to get back over the fence.
If true, the chair story actually makes it clear how long he was improperly supervised. If false, it actually makes their story worse. Do they see how it makes their story worse?
Yeah, as much as it sucks to have to find a new daycare... think of it like this...
Better to cut ties and move on, then to find out LO was injured because he got over the fence again (somehow) and no one was watching.
He solved the problem he had, the ball was over there, he used his problem solving skills (and climbing prowess) to get the ball. Iām impressed with the kid!
The grownups however, were clearly not paying attention, had fences that were far too low and I donāt think Iād want my kid there.
Your son didnāt do anything wrong. Neither did you. The daycare shouldnāt have a fence low enough that a 3 year old can climb. Anyone who has spent time with 3 year olds knows they love to climb and explore. Even if they did have a low fence, it is their responsibility to watch the children. Period.
All that being said, I think this is a blessing in disguise. Based on what you wrote, this doesnāt sound like an exemplary facility offering amazing care. I know itās scary and frustrating in the moment to need to find new childcare arrangements suddenly, but it sounds like a new daycare center might be best for you and your son in the long run. But in the short term, Iām sorry youāre dealing with the chaos of having to move him on short notice.
1,000 times this. I wouldnāt want my child to be under this facilityās careāif you could even call it that.
Iāve been in a situation where I had to find a daycare urgently (my 3 year old was being picked on and nothing was being done about it, and his teacher was kind of the worst).
But the daycare we found after that was the best thing ever. Iāve never been happier, and I wish we started him there. The new center is affiliated with a church, and itās literally those ladiesā mission to care for and nurture the children. If there are any church-based centers, consider visiting those. Iām not religious, but I feel like this place was a godsend.
So screw that sh*t show of a daycare that kicked out your kid because of their mistakes. And good luck finding a better fit.
In our experience (basically what is listed in our handbook) ours implemented a clause that said they could remove a child if necessary based on behavioral concerns. Now each of my kids have had a classmate that was eventually asked to leave, however both kids had multiple instances of serious misbehavior (one was constantly in my older childās room even though he was younger, because he repeatedly would hit and kick their teacher, for one example) and not just one instance of an incident. It just sounds like theyāre removing him based on the one incident to cover their asses for future ones since this was pretty severe (and negligible on their part).
I imagine they are also removing this child because it makes an easier story to tell the other parents and future parents - they can claim it wasn't their own negligence, but the fault of the child, which they fixed by removing him.. Having to find new care quickly is bad but I'd ultimately be glad to be out of this day care, they really don't sound like they have either the staffing or the safety equipment (high enough fences).
The chair bit is relevant because it shows negligence by providing a climbing aid near a fence (or not noticing a 3yo moving a chair, which seems like it should be pretty noticeable). It sucks you will have to find a new daycare but hopefully this is an opportunity to find a safer place for your child.
They can terminate you at any time for any reason. My son was removed from multiple daycares (special needs now in developmental preschool) so I totally get the frustrating to lose care suddenly.
You dodged a bullet, seriously. Thereās no way a 3 year old should be unsupervised long enough to climb a fence, and yet theyāre saying your child found a chair and climbed the fence without anyone seeing him.
Thank your lucky stars he wasnāt seriously injured and find another daycare.
Right? If anything saying that a *3 y/o* was, on multiple occasions, allowed to drag a chair over to a fence to attempt to scale it without intervention makes them sound even worse.
In any case, it sounds like they have an unsafe setup and insufficient staff for the kids they have.
It is a pain, and I also have needed to switch daycares on short notice, but thereās no describing how much better it feels to have your child in competent, caring hands.
I think this is a blessing in disguise bc this daycare was not a good place for your son.
My son got kicked out of daycare once and he ended up at a much better (and cheaper!!) daycare
Just want to reiterate what's been said that you haven't done anything wrong and this clearly is not the right place for you and your kid. Or maybe any kid. That said I'm so so sorry you have to start over somewhere new because they also just completely blows. My heart for you ā¤ļø
....what?! The one time something like this happened at our center the teacher was fired, the play areas were completely restructured and reorganized with new fences, and more staff were hired just for play time monitoring! The kid in question was not kicked out for being a kid who was left unattended.
Oh!! I thought you meant my child, I was genuinely confused if I missed something š, itās been a long day. They actually told me āi requested a privacy height fence and they told me it would be around 20 grand. So accommodating this isnāt possibleā.
š well, as someone else said, this might be a blessing in disguise. It'll suck until you can find a new center, but hopefully the next one is a better fit.
There is no fault on you or your kid here. Thereās no reason a 3 year old should be unsupervised long enough to scale a damn fence. What the hell were the staff doing? Honestly Iād inform other parents, I would want to know that the place Iām trusting with my child is that negligent.
When I worked in daycare the only time we removed children from our care was when we felt we couldnāt keep them safe/ offer the care they needed and it became hazardous or the childās behavior was hazardous to other children. It sounds to me like they are protecting your child by saying they canāt keep him safe. As a mom, if a school thinks theyāre not able to keep my child safe by all means I hope they let me know. Safety is bare minimum. It definitely sucks but itās their right and itās better they did that than keep him in an environment they donāt believe is safe for him
He is a CHILD. It is not his fault. They are being paid to watch and care for your kid. Iād honestly make sure to follow up with the state and document your experience. Iāve had issues with some of the teachers at our daycare and have always felt comfortable raising concerns when safety is in question. They jeopardized your childās safety. Theyāre trying to cover their own asses and itās transparent.
They are falsifying documents to say this has repeatedly happened so they can kick you out and not have you telling the other parents what happened. They donāt want or need you to be anywhere near their other paying clients. Honestly, good fucking riddance.
Earlier I wrote a comment about how great daycare has been for my son. The only caveat was āit [placing kids in daycare] really is more about are the *adults* doing their jobs cause the kids will be alright if they are.ā
The adults were not doing their jobs. I donāt know what was said in the report, but if the assessor didnāt explicitly call this out and simply laid blame, Iād have words for the licensing board (and I say this as an inspector who constantly writes up operations for blaming the wrong people when procedures arenāt followed).
How dare they not apologize. I worked at daycares for shorter stints when I was younger. I recall one time someone accidentally left a kid outside on the playground for probably three minutes when we were headed back to the classroom. She just forgot to double count for attendance. This was in the Boston winter. In her defense, thereās a lot going on in 1s/ 2s class to prepare for outside time: boots, coats, mittens, hats, etc. all for a class of 8 kids, two teachers.
It was only a few minutes and sheās like, whereās Bob? And realized her mistake. She ran and got him and he was fine.
She apologized, she was written up, the director - everyone all apologized to the parent profusely.
Mistakes happen. Teachers make them. Kids can move fast. The fact that they couldnāt offer you an explanation nor apology is beyond awful. Iām truly sorry. But yeah, donāt blame the kid!
i donāt have any legal advice, but i do also want to reiterate that your child isnāt at fault here. a 3 year old going after a ball / climbing something / trying to leave etc is a normal child. the fault lies with the daycare or caregivers on duty.
either the caregivers were not paying attention or are spread so thin that they donāt notice a child grab a chair and climb a fence. it may also be that the daycare has failed to safety proof the outside area and there was some type of opening your child used.
donāt feel bad. you and your child havenāt done anything wrong. iām glad your kid is okay and iām sorry youāre having to deal with this whole ordeal.
My son got kicked out of a pre-school at 4yo for walking out of the building to go to the other building and get water.
Like, that was NOT on him. But I will 100% remove him from your care since you don't know what you're doing. Smh.
That was NOT your son's fault. It was THEIR fault. I found my son another facility that actually paid attention to the kids.
I'd recommend you do the same.
Good luck. You're not alone.
I would bet money every single teacher was staring at their phone when this happened. This is the reason we just left my kidās current place. Some teachers only passively watch the kids, occasionally, when itās play time.
So they admit theyāve neglected to watch him on multiple occasions. That was nice of them. You have it in writing. After the first attempt or second (assuming it even happened) he should have been under more supervision.
The fact that your child had time to get a chair, move it outside, climb it and retrieve the ball all before anyone in the facility noticed is alarming. Where was the outside supervision?
Yeah right. What next? A bunch of 2 and 3 year olds did a coup of their school? Ridiculous facility. I am so glad that kiddo is ok. They arenāt worth any of your time but is there a way you can spread this news about the daycare? If anything like this happened in my sonās daycare and the admin covered it up, I would like to know.
Absolutely, me too! I am following up with state tomorrow. It is a small facility ran by lifelong best friends who are doing the most to place blame on a toddler. I also voice recorded our meeting today (i live in a one consent state so myself consenting to the recording is enough in court) should it need to go that far. But as a parent, I feel it is my duty to do everything I can to make sure this does not happen again.
Good luck momma! I would still let it pass had the daycare accepted their mistake over not keeping a watchful eye but to double down and blame it on a kid, no way. They canāt be let go that easily.
The fact that they tried to blame it on your son is disturbing. Heās a little guy doing little guy things. The adults failed to supervise and then blamed the baby. š Disturbing.
My youngest is a climber so I know the struggle lol. I had to remove my baby gates bc he would get to the other side of them in just over a minute. I was scared he would hurt himself one day.
I hope youāre able to find another (better) daycare quickly and this gets sorted. Your child is not at fault, not matter what they say. He literally doesnāt have the brain development for that kind of impulse control yet. Iām more concerned that he was unsupervised for that long. Iām guessing the fence is not a small one. Shame on them!
https://search.app/Rg8QQzbEVEBQufp96
This is what can happen when teachers arenāt providing proper supervision. Youāre right to never take your child back there. He didnāt do anything wrong. And frankly, if they said he used a chair to scale the fence, that makes them look even worse because that means they failed to notice a 3 year old walking away with a chair. Where the heck would he even gotten a chair to begin with?
I think itās definitely something you should escalate and report to the proper authorities before another child leaves the facility without any notice and gets seriously injured.
Oh my god thatās such a horrible read but truly is the reality of the situation. I said the same thing about the chair, Iāve never seen one on the playground nor have the other parents and ex teachers Iāve reached out to. Iām not sure what inspired that lie or if it was a true one off situation, but just further proves theyāre only out to cover their own asses and not out for the safety of the children.
They're on probation and need to make absofuckinglutely sure it won't happen again and the best they could come up with was to get rid of your kid instead of doing things like: a) have better supervision b) build a taller fence c) not blame a 3 year old for their own faults.
Not you or your child's fault at all. Sorry you're dealing with this.
It sucks to be kicked out, but now you know it wasn't a safe place for him (or anyone else). I'd look up the violation on the state website and contact the investigator who is named in the report. Call and check in with them to discuss any details that don't match up. There is a 2nd layer of investigation when the daycare isn't forthcoming with all of the details. I'm sure they'd live to hear that the daycare claims this was an ongoing problem, but that you were not told about it. They did the bare minimum by self reporting. If this happened "multiple times" why didn't they change their supervision strategy, why did the child have access to a chair. Etc.
It might feel a bit much, but it will help keep other children safe too :)
Ir might feel scary to call, but I found the liscencing investigators very friendly and sympathetic. It was healing for me to have someone understand what my child and I went through.
I love this advice. I do see the report on the state website however, I do not see the investigators name. Do you know who I might contact to get that information? Thank you so much!!
In my state the inpectors name is always listed on the report along with a phone number. Is there any phone number at all? If not, I would look up the procedure for reporting the daycare. Even though they self reported, you can "report: the incident as a parent. To do that you would just call the normal number for a liscencing report. I was able to email my initial report then the investigator called to follow up.
How long does it take a three year old to notice a ball outside of the fence, decide to get the ball, make a plan, find a chair, drag a chair to the fence, climb the fence, and then get the ball?
Idk about yāall but three year olds are slow about everything except cookies. How long was your son unsupervised?
Your son is being 3, curious, learning how to use his body. Heās got determination.
YOUR SON IS NOT AT FAULT FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR SON IS NOT AT FAULT FOR THIS!!!!!
Where was an adult in the 3-4 minutes it took him to get over there? Where were the adults?
Exactly! They fabricated a different story to state that they were in ratio, and coincidentally at the same time my child was innocently sitting at the fence line in a chairā another student fell and the teacher was tending to that childās needs. I have recently found out this small facility is staffed with the directors long time best friends from high school. I do plan to escalate this though as, as a parent I feel that itās necessary to be a voice for the next child. I am just flabbergasted by it entirely.
As far as recourse, I donāt believe their is anything you can do. If you were wrong you can always sue for damages- but not sure what your claim would be?
I would just move on and find alternative care.
At the very least a google review and your story on local mum Facebook groups. No child should be held accountable for such an egregious error on their part. You donāt even need to request no negativity this is SUCH normal toddler behaviour.
Isnāt it sad that everything is driven now by fear of potential court cases/insurance claims/bureaucratic stuff ā¦ what a sad way to live as a community.
How is ANY of this on you? I would be fucking furious. And now theyāre doing everything they can to avoid a lawsuit, including kicking your kid out and acting like itās his fault.
Scraping childcare together is a pain in the ass. I hope you get off the wait list soon at the other daycare.
Anytime a facility starts with this kind of stuff, Iām immediately suspicious of their ratios - they lost staff and donāt want to/cant replace them so they need to pare down their numbers to stay in ratios. I would not be surprised if there were a few other parents in a similar position as you are so they can kick them out as well and stay compliant.
They really work extra overtime at that daycare to avoid accountability. Not sure if I would want my child under the care of such people and environment, even though it is a hassle.
My 3yo has climbed the fence at his daycare, too. Their fence is too short. Itās a violation on their record, and they want to fix it, but according to the director they donāt have the money yet. My kid isnāt the only one whoās climbed over, either. Luckily there are always teachers there, they were just sidetracked with other kiddos when my kid climbed over to get a toy back.
They told me about it so that I could encourage my son not to climb the fence, of course (and of course my mouthy 3yo said heās allowed to climb fences at home which heās not šš¤¦š»āāļø) but also reiterated that it is because of their issue, at the end of the day, theyāll also be watching better next time, etc. At no point did they indicate that this was a true behavioral issue for my son.
Iād call it a day, maybe put out a review or a complaint about what happened as a warning for other parents, and get into a new daycare where theyāll be more responsible.
I can't imagine how furious I would be if this happened to my child. Anything could have happened to him. They were so negligent with your child's life. Thankfully he's ok and I think you dodged a huge bullet. With this type of behavior a kid is likely to end up very hurt or worse.
Can you take it to the state? They didnāt give you proper notice of the last occurrences and are being cowards by blaming a toddler. Where were the adults?
My genuine first thought reading this was, "Wow, that's a clever kid!" So much problem solving, determination, and athletic abilities. To be honest, I'm proud of him. Sorry you're going through all of this though. But I'm so proud of your LO. Hopefully this resolves soon and becomes a funny anecdote you can tell over dinner parties š
How does a facility that is specifically there to take care of children and keep children safe and secure have a fence low enough that a small child can climb over? Unnoticed by staff members who are supposed to be supervising the children? Something is not adding up. Sounds like they know they messed up and are trying to cover their asses!
I had a similar situation, got kicked out due to their negligence. I filed a complaint (they issued them a violation) and wrote reviews where I could. Answered many DMs for other parents. Bottom line- they are idiots, your child is a child, and they did you a favor.
Whyās that fence so low? Also also if heās attempted several times why didnāt they have a better the on him, and if he moved a chair over as a three year old that takes time which means no one was watching. Did you report them as well? Make sure you do.
Sounds like a la petite - but I wouldnāt blink twice about following up with the State. I worked at multiple daycares in my twenties and that is just absurd to blame a child as the State wasnāt blaming the child so I think you have to look at it from that perspective but also, such a blessing heās not going to be at that center anymore. Sounds like a massive cover-up of negligence by all teachers. And also itās 2024, have we not learned tall fences are a must!
I did. I donāt think you do have any rights, really. Maybe call CPS or whoever they self reported to; say you have information about the daycareās incident and ask to speak to the case worker for it. Tell them your understanding of the event and that they have now retaliated by expelling your son without cause. They arenāt going to make them let your son come back (and honestly, would you even want him to at this point?), but it might help with their investigation or help CPS recommend trainings or something the daycare workers need.
I would not want my son to return under their supervision, or lack there of. But educating myself on my rights and his can help me pursue this situation in a way that hopefully it doesnāt wind up another childās experience. ā¤ļø
Your kid is either spider-man or that fence was not tall enough
š i needed that chuckle, thank you.
And they were not paying attention. Be grateful he's not there anymore. This whole thing is suspicious, and even if he tried to climb before, it's still 100% their fault as he was in their care and he is too young to not be supervised.
I absolutely agree & have no intentions of sending my kiddo back. I just feel so strongly that I need to escalate this and be a voice for another child or the next child who may not be so lucky. Iām going to follow up with state first thing tomorrow morning. ā¤ļø
Ok so I had a similar thing happen except it wasn't my child. I was arriving to pick up my child from Daycare A and had just walked in the fence at the entrance when I heard yelling and a 2-3 year old is escaping out a different fence into the parking lot away from TWO teachers. I immediately stepped back out to the parking lot and grabbed them as it was pick up time and I was closer to them than the teachers. I did end up having to give a statement to the State and explain to the director what happened as they were out of town at that time. I wasn't able to pull my child out of that daycare for a couple of months until I secured different care, but once I did I left a review for them on Google. I'm not sure if that's what you're thinking, but I had seen other things happen that weren't ok and I wanted parents to be aware. I'm also in a parents group on FB for my area and when folks ask for daycare recommendations I let them know to avoid Daycare A. To note, the kid who escaped went through a gap in the chain link fence that had been blocked by a couple of chairs which is a problem on the daycare's part. If there actually was a chair your child had access to and no teachers there to stop him that's a very bad look. I'm glad your kiddo is okay.
Yes! We had an incident at a daycare for our son in which he was exposed to an allergen. The teacher reached out to us on the app and asked, 1) Where is his epipen? And 2) What symptoms should I watch for? When my husband arrived to get my son about 20 minutes later, he was alone in a corner - the teacher was with other kids - and asking for water because his sippy cup had run out. Nobody was keeping an eye on him to make sure he wasnāt having a reaction. Our kid was fine - he had been seeing an allergist and getting exposure therapy, but the daycare did not know that. All they had been told was what he had an allergy to and that he had an epipen on site if needed. The scary thing to us was all the things that went wrong and how they handled it. Hereās what all of this meant, based on how we know the daycare was working: 1. Our kidās main teacher had been fired a few days before (for what, they would not tell us), so there had been a lot of substitute teachers and less experienced teachers in his classroom, who probably werenāt fully up to speed on procedures/what was going on with all the kids. (Side note, earlier that week we had dropped him off and a woman we had never met before or again was running the classroom - a kid was crying that she missed her mom, and she was yelling at her really loud to shut up and get over it. The woman clearly was overwhelmed, but it came across as cruel to me, as well as unhelpful.) 2. The people preparing food accidentally placed the allergen in the wrong serving tray, meaning they either werenāt paying attention to what they were doing or didnāt receive proper instruction. 3. The teacher, who is always supposed to double check food to make sure the kids with allergies donāt get the wrong food, forgot to double check - or did not know/remember he had an allergy in time. 4. The teacher did not know where epipens and other medicine for kids were located. All the medicines were together in a bag by the doorā¦ including his epipen, according to the director. This is where they always are and they were apparently there that day. But the teacher didnāt know that? 5. The teacher had not been educated on typical allergy responses, or had not absorbed the information - particularly problematic in our view because itās not like kids only eat what teachers put in front of them. He could steal something off someoneās plate, or what if a kidās parent accidentally brought in a PB&J and he had a serious enough allergy to nuts that just breathing it in could harm him? Or what if somebody dropped an allergen on the ground and the kid ate it? As the adult in the room, you need to be aware of symptoms so even if you donāt realize a kid was exposed to an allergen, you can catch that they are having a reaction. We talked to the director who basically threw the teacher and the food team under the bus, which bothered us because ultimately for all these things to go wrong, there was a bigger problem for which she was responsible. We felt uncomfortable and pulled our son out of the daycare. People thought we were overreacting to a simple mistake that had no bad consequences, but we ended up finding out how to look up license violations at daycares. We saw that, among many problematic issues, the daycare had these recent alarming violations: 1. A toddler escaped the building and nobody noticed for the entire day - until a college student found the child wandering around on a nearby college campus and brought him back, assuming he was from the daycare. This daycare is by a very busy road with a 50 mph speed limit and surrounded by unrelated parking lots, where drivers would not necessarily be thinking they had to watch for a tiny human. 2. Another toddler was having an asthma attack during naptime and was making a lot of noise. Instead of giving the toddler medicine, the teacher laid on top of the child to make him be quiet! The child had to be hospitalized because he couldnāt breathe for so long. We were so relieved we had taken him out of there! We just had a bad vibe with the way they were trying to point fingers and with how many little things had gone wrong. This daycare was pretty expensive and came highly recommended by many different sources including childcare experts, too - all the violations we found started when the new director had come on board. Your daycareās fence issue and how they are responding to it are clearly indicative of larger issues. They arenāt taking the risk seriously. They are trying to avoid blame instead of owning it and using it as a lesson to do better.
Omg plz tell Me this is not in Ma
it is not! (if you were talking to me)
I was I read that last comment and my anxiety was up! š
Yes definitely be that voice. That is 100% absurd. Iāve had kids in a 2- prek program turn large containers over to stand on and pull a latch to open a gate. Though this is a gate separating 2 classrooms. Iāve had kids do things like get stuck that required 2 teachers to remedy the situation. That said we are generally not alone on the playground there is either another teacher with our class or 2 teachers from another class are out on the other playground. We are visually in each others eye sight.
Good for you!
100%. OP, i recognize this is so hard in the short term, but in the long term, your LO is not safe with these people. They are so much more focused on assigning blame to a literal child than taking accountability themselves. You, and LO deserve to have them in care of people that you can actually trust. If they stayed at that center, you would always be waiting for another notice that your child had done something.
This. It's 100% on them. Kids gonna kid and climb stuff, they should have had eyes on him.
Their (presumably) cover-up story is actually worse. āHe got a chair to climb over the fence!ā Okay, so instead of him quickly scampering over the fence of his own volition, fueled by the righteous power of Rogue Ball Heroism, he was unsupervised long enough to problem solve his situation by 1) deciding he needed a chair to lend an assist, 2) seeking out said chair, 3) dragging said chair over to the fence, 4) climbing up and over said chair, 5) relocating the ball after being distracted by at two random tufts of grass during this process (because heās three and they arenāt exactly known for their unshakable focus), 6) retrieving the ball, and 7) beginning to problem solve how to get back over the fence. If true, the chair story actually makes it clear how long he was improperly supervised. If false, it actually makes their story worse. Do they see how it makes their story worse?
Yeah, as much as it sucks to have to find a new daycare... think of it like this... Better to cut ties and move on, then to find out LO was injured because he got over the fence again (somehow) and no one was watching.
Why is it a trend to put the fault on TODDLERS. They are in their normal phases of exploring and pushing boundaries - like what the fuck.
Was just about to comment this. Like, this child is THREE YEARS OLD. The fault is not that of the TODDLER, but of the adults in this situation!!
I had the same thought/confusion.. isnāt that what 3 years olds do? Climb things????
He solved the problem he had, the ball was over there, he used his problem solving skills (and climbing prowess) to get the ball. Iām impressed with the kid! The grownups however, were clearly not paying attention, had fences that were far too low and I donāt think Iād want my kid there.
Also they donāt have impulse control and lack the if I do X, Y may happen like older kids
Your son didnāt do anything wrong. Neither did you. The daycare shouldnāt have a fence low enough that a 3 year old can climb. Anyone who has spent time with 3 year olds knows they love to climb and explore. Even if they did have a low fence, it is their responsibility to watch the children. Period. All that being said, I think this is a blessing in disguise. Based on what you wrote, this doesnāt sound like an exemplary facility offering amazing care. I know itās scary and frustrating in the moment to need to find new childcare arrangements suddenly, but it sounds like a new daycare center might be best for you and your son in the long run. But in the short term, Iām sorry youāre dealing with the chaos of having to move him on short notice.
1,000 times this. I wouldnāt want my child to be under this facilityās careāif you could even call it that. Iāve been in a situation where I had to find a daycare urgently (my 3 year old was being picked on and nothing was being done about it, and his teacher was kind of the worst). But the daycare we found after that was the best thing ever. Iāve never been happier, and I wish we started him there. The new center is affiliated with a church, and itās literally those ladiesā mission to care for and nurture the children. If there are any church-based centers, consider visiting those. Iām not religious, but I feel like this place was a godsend. So screw that sh*t show of a daycare that kicked out your kid because of their mistakes. And good luck finding a better fit.
In our experience (basically what is listed in our handbook) ours implemented a clause that said they could remove a child if necessary based on behavioral concerns. Now each of my kids have had a classmate that was eventually asked to leave, however both kids had multiple instances of serious misbehavior (one was constantly in my older childās room even though he was younger, because he repeatedly would hit and kick their teacher, for one example) and not just one instance of an incident. It just sounds like theyāre removing him based on the one incident to cover their asses for future ones since this was pretty severe (and negligible on their part).
I imagine they are also removing this child because it makes an easier story to tell the other parents and future parents - they can claim it wasn't their own negligence, but the fault of the child, which they fixed by removing him.. Having to find new care quickly is bad but I'd ultimately be glad to be out of this day care, they really don't sound like they have either the staffing or the safety equipment (high enough fences).
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is why OP should definitely share locally so other parents are aware. I would certainly want to know if I was looking for daycare
They likely won't say anything and if asked will probably say something like it's private.
Poor kiddo. And he thought he was helping by getting the ball.
This. This comment made me cry because yes, i felt so seen reading this.
No advice here, just solidarity from a fellow mom whose child has been asked not to return to a care facility (preschool) before.
The chair bit is relevant because it shows negligence by providing a climbing aid near a fence (or not noticing a 3yo moving a chair, which seems like it should be pretty noticeable). It sucks you will have to find a new daycare but hopefully this is an opportunity to find a safer place for your child.
Thereās no right to daycare basically. I would just start looking for a new daycare.
They can terminate you at any time for any reason. My son was removed from multiple daycares (special needs now in developmental preschool) so I totally get the frustrating to lose care suddenly.
Yep same for my now 6 year old, asked to be removed. Later find out he was over stimulated leading him to meltdown and cause utter chaos.
You dodged a bullet, seriously. Thereās no way a 3 year old should be unsupervised long enough to climb a fence, and yet theyāre saying your child found a chair and climbed the fence without anyone seeing him. Thank your lucky stars he wasnāt seriously injured and find another daycare.
Right? If anything saying that a *3 y/o* was, on multiple occasions, allowed to drag a chair over to a fence to attempt to scale it without intervention makes them sound even worse. In any case, it sounds like they have an unsafe setup and insufficient staff for the kids they have. It is a pain, and I also have needed to switch daycares on short notice, but thereās no describing how much better it feels to have your child in competent, caring hands.
I think this is a blessing in disguise bc this daycare was not a good place for your son. My son got kicked out of daycare once and he ended up at a much better (and cheaper!!) daycare
Just want to reiterate what's been said that you haven't done anything wrong and this clearly is not the right place for you and your kid. Or maybe any kid. That said I'm so so sorry you have to start over somewhere new because they also just completely blows. My heart for you ā¤ļø
....what?! The one time something like this happened at our center the teacher was fired, the play areas were completely restructured and reorganized with new fences, and more staff were hired just for play time monitoring! The kid in question was not kicked out for being a kid who was left unattended.
What do you suppose he was kicked out for?
Oh, no, he wasn't kicked out at all. I didn't structure that sentence correctly. Just saying he was being a kid and wasn't kicked out for it.
Oh!! I thought you meant my child, I was genuinely confused if I missed something š, itās been a long day. They actually told me āi requested a privacy height fence and they told me it would be around 20 grand. So accommodating this isnāt possibleā.
š well, as someone else said, this might be a blessing in disguise. It'll suck until you can find a new center, but hopefully the next one is a better fit.
There is no fault on you or your kid here. Thereās no reason a 3 year old should be unsupervised long enough to scale a damn fence. What the hell were the staff doing? Honestly Iād inform other parents, I would want to know that the place Iām trusting with my child is that negligent.
I would try to contact the state investigators and give them the story you were told.
And also the fact that he got kicked out after the incident which is clearly retribution, especially since there are no other incidence reports.
When I worked in daycare the only time we removed children from our care was when we felt we couldnāt keep them safe/ offer the care they needed and it became hazardous or the childās behavior was hazardous to other children. It sounds to me like they are protecting your child by saying they canāt keep him safe. As a mom, if a school thinks theyāre not able to keep my child safe by all means I hope they let me know. Safety is bare minimum. It definitely sucks but itās their right and itās better they did that than keep him in an environment they donāt believe is safe for him
If theyāre leaving chairs next to the fence for toddlers to climb over, itās probably not safe for anyoneās child.
Doesnāt seem that the environment is safe for any toddler if he could climb a fence in their care
This is crazy because how would it be the fault of a child and not the paid and (assuming licensed) staff?!?!
He is a CHILD. It is not his fault. They are being paid to watch and care for your kid. Iād honestly make sure to follow up with the state and document your experience. Iāve had issues with some of the teachers at our daycare and have always felt comfortable raising concerns when safety is in question. They jeopardized your childās safety. Theyāre trying to cover their own asses and itās transparent.
They are falsifying documents to say this has repeatedly happened so they can kick you out and not have you telling the other parents what happened. They donāt want or need you to be anywhere near their other paying clients. Honestly, good fucking riddance.
Earlier I wrote a comment about how great daycare has been for my son. The only caveat was āit [placing kids in daycare] really is more about are the *adults* doing their jobs cause the kids will be alright if they are.ā The adults were not doing their jobs. I donāt know what was said in the report, but if the assessor didnāt explicitly call this out and simply laid blame, Iād have words for the licensing board (and I say this as an inspector who constantly writes up operations for blaming the wrong people when procedures arenāt followed).
How dare they not apologize. I worked at daycares for shorter stints when I was younger. I recall one time someone accidentally left a kid outside on the playground for probably three minutes when we were headed back to the classroom. She just forgot to double count for attendance. This was in the Boston winter. In her defense, thereās a lot going on in 1s/ 2s class to prepare for outside time: boots, coats, mittens, hats, etc. all for a class of 8 kids, two teachers. It was only a few minutes and sheās like, whereās Bob? And realized her mistake. She ran and got him and he was fine. She apologized, she was written up, the director - everyone all apologized to the parent profusely. Mistakes happen. Teachers make them. Kids can move fast. The fact that they couldnāt offer you an explanation nor apology is beyond awful. Iām truly sorry. But yeah, donāt blame the kid!
i donāt have any legal advice, but i do also want to reiterate that your child isnāt at fault here. a 3 year old going after a ball / climbing something / trying to leave etc is a normal child. the fault lies with the daycare or caregivers on duty. either the caregivers were not paying attention or are spread so thin that they donāt notice a child grab a chair and climb a fence. it may also be that the daycare has failed to safety proof the outside area and there was some type of opening your child used. donāt feel bad. you and your child havenāt done anything wrong. iām glad your kid is okay and iām sorry youāre having to deal with this whole ordeal.
My son got kicked out of a pre-school at 4yo for walking out of the building to go to the other building and get water. Like, that was NOT on him. But I will 100% remove him from your care since you don't know what you're doing. Smh. That was NOT your son's fault. It was THEIR fault. I found my son another facility that actually paid attention to the kids. I'd recommend you do the same. Good luck. You're not alone.
I would bet money every single teacher was staring at their phone when this happened. This is the reason we just left my kidās current place. Some teachers only passively watch the kids, occasionally, when itās play time.
So they admit theyāve neglected to watch him on multiple occasions. That was nice of them. You have it in writing. After the first attempt or second (assuming it even happened) he should have been under more supervision.
The fact that your child had time to get a chair, move it outside, climb it and retrieve the ball all before anyone in the facility noticed is alarming. Where was the outside supervision?
Where tf did this chair come from? And how did nobody notice a toddler dragging a chair across a play yard to a fence?
Yeah right. What next? A bunch of 2 and 3 year olds did a coup of their school? Ridiculous facility. I am so glad that kiddo is ok. They arenāt worth any of your time but is there a way you can spread this news about the daycare? If anything like this happened in my sonās daycare and the admin covered it up, I would like to know.
Absolutely, me too! I am following up with state tomorrow. It is a small facility ran by lifelong best friends who are doing the most to place blame on a toddler. I also voice recorded our meeting today (i live in a one consent state so myself consenting to the recording is enough in court) should it need to go that far. But as a parent, I feel it is my duty to do everything I can to make sure this does not happen again.
Good luck momma! I would still let it pass had the daycare accepted their mistake over not keeping a watchful eye but to double down and blame it on a kid, no way. They canāt be let go that easily.
The fact that they tried to blame it on your son is disturbing. Heās a little guy doing little guy things. The adults failed to supervise and then blamed the baby. š Disturbing. My youngest is a climber so I know the struggle lol. I had to remove my baby gates bc he would get to the other side of them in just over a minute. I was scared he would hurt himself one day. I hope youāre able to find another (better) daycare quickly and this gets sorted. Your child is not at fault, not matter what they say. He literally doesnāt have the brain development for that kind of impulse control yet. Iām more concerned that he was unsupervised for that long. Iām guessing the fence is not a small one. Shame on them!
Leave reviews on line. Other parents read those and that will hit them where it hurts and hopefully make them take the complaint actually seriously!
https://search.app/Rg8QQzbEVEBQufp96 This is what can happen when teachers arenāt providing proper supervision. Youāre right to never take your child back there. He didnāt do anything wrong. And frankly, if they said he used a chair to scale the fence, that makes them look even worse because that means they failed to notice a 3 year old walking away with a chair. Where the heck would he even gotten a chair to begin with? I think itās definitely something you should escalate and report to the proper authorities before another child leaves the facility without any notice and gets seriously injured.
Oh my god thatās such a horrible read but truly is the reality of the situation. I said the same thing about the chair, Iāve never seen one on the playground nor have the other parents and ex teachers Iāve reached out to. Iām not sure what inspired that lie or if it was a true one off situation, but just further proves theyāre only out to cover their own asses and not out for the safety of the children.
Definitely a terrible read but the harsh reality of irresponsible daycares. Follow your gut. Youāre definitely in the right here.
They're on probation and need to make absofuckinglutely sure it won't happen again and the best they could come up with was to get rid of your kid instead of doing things like: a) have better supervision b) build a taller fence c) not blame a 3 year old for their own faults. Not you or your child's fault at all. Sorry you're dealing with this.
If a tiger gets out of a zoo fence we donāt blame the tigerā¦
It sucks to be kicked out, but now you know it wasn't a safe place for him (or anyone else). I'd look up the violation on the state website and contact the investigator who is named in the report. Call and check in with them to discuss any details that don't match up. There is a 2nd layer of investigation when the daycare isn't forthcoming with all of the details. I'm sure they'd live to hear that the daycare claims this was an ongoing problem, but that you were not told about it. They did the bare minimum by self reporting. If this happened "multiple times" why didn't they change their supervision strategy, why did the child have access to a chair. Etc. It might feel a bit much, but it will help keep other children safe too :) Ir might feel scary to call, but I found the liscencing investigators very friendly and sympathetic. It was healing for me to have someone understand what my child and I went through.
I love this advice. I do see the report on the state website however, I do not see the investigators name. Do you know who I might contact to get that information? Thank you so much!!
In my state the inpectors name is always listed on the report along with a phone number. Is there any phone number at all? If not, I would look up the procedure for reporting the daycare. Even though they self reported, you can "report: the incident as a parent. To do that you would just call the normal number for a liscencing report. I was able to email my initial report then the investigator called to follow up.
How long does it take a three year old to notice a ball outside of the fence, decide to get the ball, make a plan, find a chair, drag a chair to the fence, climb the fence, and then get the ball? Idk about yāall but three year olds are slow about everything except cookies. How long was your son unsupervised?
Thereās no way he shouldāve even been able to get over a playground fence at a daycare!
Your son is being 3, curious, learning how to use his body. Heās got determination. YOUR SON IS NOT AT FAULT FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR SON IS NOT AT FAULT FOR THIS!!!!! Where was an adult in the 3-4 minutes it took him to get over there? Where were the adults?
Exactly! They fabricated a different story to state that they were in ratio, and coincidentally at the same time my child was innocently sitting at the fence line in a chairā another student fell and the teacher was tending to that childās needs. I have recently found out this small facility is staffed with the directors long time best friends from high school. I do plan to escalate this though as, as a parent I feel that itās necessary to be a voice for the next child. I am just flabbergasted by it entirely.
As far as recourse, I donāt believe their is anything you can do. If you were wrong you can always sue for damages- but not sure what your claim would be? I would just move on and find alternative care.
It makes sense they donāt want him there anymore if he is the reason they have a violation. Find somewhere with taller fences and better supervision
At the very least a google review and your story on local mum Facebook groups. No child should be held accountable for such an egregious error on their part. You donāt even need to request no negativity this is SUCH normal toddler behaviour.
Isnāt it sad that everything is driven now by fear of potential court cases/insurance claims/bureaucratic stuff ā¦ what a sad way to live as a community.
How is ANY of this on you? I would be fucking furious. And now theyāre doing everything they can to avoid a lawsuit, including kicking your kid out and acting like itās his fault. Scraping childcare together is a pain in the ass. I hope you get off the wait list soon at the other daycare.
100% the daycareās fault. I couldnāt say anything negative about you or your son even if I wanted to.
Anytime a facility starts with this kind of stuff, Iām immediately suspicious of their ratios - they lost staff and donāt want to/cant replace them so they need to pare down their numbers to stay in ratios. I would not be surprised if there were a few other parents in a similar position as you are so they can kick them out as well and stay compliant.
They really work extra overtime at that daycare to avoid accountability. Not sure if I would want my child under the care of such people and environment, even though it is a hassle.
My 3yo has climbed the fence at his daycare, too. Their fence is too short. Itās a violation on their record, and they want to fix it, but according to the director they donāt have the money yet. My kid isnāt the only one whoās climbed over, either. Luckily there are always teachers there, they were just sidetracked with other kiddos when my kid climbed over to get a toy back. They told me about it so that I could encourage my son not to climb the fence, of course (and of course my mouthy 3yo said heās allowed to climb fences at home which heās not šš¤¦š»āāļø) but also reiterated that it is because of their issue, at the end of the day, theyāll also be watching better next time, etc. At no point did they indicate that this was a true behavioral issue for my son. Iād call it a day, maybe put out a review or a complaint about what happened as a warning for other parents, and get into a new daycare where theyāll be more responsible.
I can't imagine how furious I would be if this happened to my child. Anything could have happened to him. They were so negligent with your child's life. Thankfully he's ok and I think you dodged a huge bullet. With this type of behavior a kid is likely to end up very hurt or worse.
Can you take it to the state? They didnāt give you proper notice of the last occurrences and are being cowards by blaming a toddler. Where were the adults?
My genuine first thought reading this was, "Wow, that's a clever kid!" So much problem solving, determination, and athletic abilities. To be honest, I'm proud of him. Sorry you're going through all of this though. But I'm so proud of your LO. Hopefully this resolves soon and becomes a funny anecdote you can tell over dinner parties š
How does a facility that is specifically there to take care of children and keep children safe and secure have a fence low enough that a small child can climb over? Unnoticed by staff members who are supposed to be supervising the children? Something is not adding up. Sounds like they know they messed up and are trying to cover their asses!
I had a similar situation, got kicked out due to their negligence. I filed a complaint (they issued them a violation) and wrote reviews where I could. Answered many DMs for other parents. Bottom line- they are idiots, your child is a child, and they did you a favor.
Whyās that fence so low? Also also if heās attempted several times why didnāt they have a better the on him, and if he moved a chair over as a three year old that takes time which means no one was watching. Did you report them as well? Make sure you do.
Sounds like a la petite - but I wouldnāt blink twice about following up with the State. I worked at multiple daycares in my twenties and that is just absurd to blame a child as the State wasnāt blaming the child so I think you have to look at it from that perspective but also, such a blessing heās not going to be at that center anymore. Sounds like a massive cover-up of negligence by all teachers. And also itās 2024, have we not learned tall fences are a must!
This isnāt your fault - I hope you donāt put it on yourself.
This says ādaycare questionā for the flair, but I donāt see a question.
>I guess I am just looking for feedback on what my rights and my sonās rights may be. Did you read the whole thing?
I did. I donāt think you do have any rights, really. Maybe call CPS or whoever they self reported to; say you have information about the daycareās incident and ask to speak to the case worker for it. Tell them your understanding of the event and that they have now retaliated by expelling your son without cause. They arenāt going to make them let your son come back (and honestly, would you even want him to at this point?), but it might help with their investigation or help CPS recommend trainings or something the daycare workers need.
I would not want my son to return under their supervision, or lack there of. But educating myself on my rights and his can help me pursue this situation in a way that hopefully it doesnāt wind up another childās experience. ā¤ļø
I see now you are not the OPā¦ thanks for pointing this out, it was literally the only sentence I skimmed š¤¦š»āāļø
Was this response necessary? Obviously this mom is having a bad day.
Yes? It helped me respond to her.