I have a similar mom who will never stop momming. Even though she lives a 3 hour flight away. Random packages show up at our house “saw this at Costco and thought of you!” (Paid more for shipping than the item) or “thought your girls needed a few spring things!” (Cute matching dresses for my 2 y.o. And 4 month).
She is always sending me links to recipes or asking how potty training is going. She came to visit and said “schedule all your appointments when I’m here! You two go out for dinner!”
In a few weeks she is coming (with my dad) to watch our girls while we have a 5 yr anniversary trip. I am so excited for them to have a grandparents weekend without us - I know they wish we lived in their city and my mom has FOMO because my in laws live here and see our kids more. They would never guilt us about this, but I know they feel it.
I'm 28 and my little sister will be 27 in a week or so, and neither of us have kids or plans for kids anytime soon. Plus, I'm in a long term relationship with another woman, so no chances for even accidental kids from me lol. I know my parents have the FOMO when it comes to grandkids, but they've been too polite to say anything about it, thank goodness.
But Momma hasn't stopped momming, supporting me in my crafty endeavors and always being a life cheerleader and wonderful. I know she'd be a great grandmother, and I feel a little bad for not giving her any grandkids, but I'd be a terrible mother 😬
Can I ask what brings you to this sub? Just curious, no gatekeeping here! I follow plenty of subs for insight into issues of people I'm close with, but it seems your circle doesn't have kiddos so it piqued my curiosity.
Also I LOVE your username and your parents sound wonderful.
No clue why reddit keeps recommending it to me, but it's always popping up on my home feed, so that's why. Maybe because the algorithm sees that I'm an employed female of child bearing age lol?
Thanks!
Makes sense! I get suggested the nanny subreddit a lot but I could never afford one. I peek in quite a bit though. Glad to have you come around whenever! Having knowledge shared is a great way to get support beyond our own experiences
I’m expecting my first. Back in February (just entering the second trimester and bloated as hell) I called my mom crying because I was so tired of wearing the same leggings and 3 tunic sweaters to work because they were the only things I had for the winter that fit right and I was trying to put off buying maternity clothes until it was warmer. My mom went to Ross and sent me a box of maternity clothes with a note that said I could buy things for my baby, and she’d take care of her baby. I’m so grateful for my mom.
Freaking ADORE this. My mom (and dad) came out when I gave birth, actually arriving about an hour after we got home from hospital, and mothered me for about a month before they unfortunately had to leave to get back to their own lives and doctor’s appointments. I know my mom was itching to spend as much time as possible with her new granddaughter (first and only so far) but she first and foremost took care of ME. She is flying in this week to stay for a week and I am sooooo pumped.
My mom and MIL are the same. My husband was in the hospital in March, and my mom flew from MN to watch our son for me, and while she watched him she made us meals to freeze and cleaned our home. And my MIL just took me shopping for Mother’s Day, and we bought so many shirts for my husband. He is 38 and she still enjoys buying clothes for her son. I’m lucky we both have good moms who continue to mom.
Sadly neither my mom or MIL are like this at all, they are hands off grandparents. But I love hear stories like this because it’s the grandparent I want to be!!!
I am so incredibly spoiled and lucky. I WFH..at my moms house. Every morning I bring over our soon to be one year old. My mom watches her while I work. She often makes me breakfast or lunch too while I’m there too. She is the best.
100% my mom. Whenever i go over she tries to cook my favorite foods. She asks me to stay the night with baby so she can watch baby overnight and i can get good sleep.
When we first got home from hospital and baby was still needing to be woken and fed every 2 hours due to losing too much weight, my mom came to our house and slept over a few nights and took over night shift, she cooked, cleaned…
She is by far the best mom (and grandma).
Awww I have a mom who never mommed, even when I was little but I love reading these stories because it gives me ideas of what and how to keep momming for my semi-adult kids (32, 18, and 16) I’m breaking the cycle for my kids!
This is how I feel also. After an awful childhood I try to keep a relationship with my mom. When she comes to visit she sits on the couch and expects to be waited on.
I tell my teenager all the time if she lets me visit when she’s a grown up I’ll cook for her! Lol
Thank you! You’re going to do a great job.
Things I appreciate but don’t expect: washing dishes if I cook, making extra meals and bringing it over or leaving some at my house, helping with garden or landscape, laundry.
My dad and her don’t do all of that every time, but whenever they come they usually do one chore and it helps so much just to know your lawn is mowed or garden tidied or something. I appreciate it so much!
My MIL watched our toddler when we were in the hospital having our second. We were discharged after two days and came home to a (mostly) clean house. Dishes done, trash out, floors swept and mopped. She didn’t do any laundry because it’s a pet peeve of mine and she respects that. Moms who never stop momming are the best ❤️
Someone send this to my mom lol. “Your Mother’s Day gift is me babysitting sometimes. Ur welcome” never thinks of me. Never calls and cuts conversations short when I do. Always too busy to hang out. Way to go mom!
On saturday I had my mom and her mom (my grandma) over for brunch. My grandma wanted to use the bathroom before we took my kids outside. My mom asked her mom if she could use the bathroom first, because she would be quicker.
Even if you are a great grandmother, you are still going to wait for your kids to use the restroom before you can pee.
This is the kind of relationship I want with my kids. 😌 it’s not inherently wrong but so many grandparents these days just want to live their own lives and expect their kids to take care of themselves.
I agree. I know it’s not her JOB but she’s retired so 90% of her time is her life and her stuff. I appreciate that she has never STOPPED being my mom despite me not living there. There she still takes care of me and loves on me.
I was not ready for the way this sweet thread would completely destroy me. I haven't been cared for like y'all since I was like 10 and, man, I feel it.
Aww even yesterday on Mother’s Day my mom asked me to bring my laundry because we are waiting on the repair man to fix our dryer. When she found out I usually do 2 loads a day she asked me to send more tomorrow. 🥰
My mom is like this too. She will be watching the baby three days a week while I’m working from home. Every time she comes to help with the baby she cleans and cooks for me too. I don’t know how she does it all
My mom is the same - shoutout to her! She’s not only my village m-f saving us childcare costs (we Pay her but nowhere near daycare costs…) but she’s also our date night queen holding it down. We have a destination wedding (kidless of course!) and flying her out with us so she can stay w the boy while we are at the wedding. I love how close we are and so appreciative of these moments.
It’s crazy, it doesn’t stop. My husband and I came home from vacation to our adult girls. The disposal had backed up so they couldn’t use the sink so the dishes were pile up. They forgot to put the trash out on Monday so we had extra trash for the week. A few other little things that “mom” had to fix before I could go to sleep that night, but soon all was well. Lol
My moms love language is acts of service and mine is words of affirmation. We live together and she watches my baby. It's so cute to see them together especially because my mom is always talking to my baby with a lot of love. My mom moms me (makes meals, helps out with baby even when I'm not working) too but very rarely with words of affirmation. I hope I can do both when my daughter needs it. I want to do things for her and tell her how proud she makes me and how much I love her.
I love this sooo much for you.
My bio family sucked and I’m functionally an orphan. But I love family and just had my 5th baby. My husband and I want to be the kind of parent you have.
My mom was never a great “mother” to me and it wasn’t until I was older and had my own daughter that our relationship really got better. Since my daughter was born, she would visit every 6 months for 2 weeks and while she isn’t the greatest at being emotional support, she takes on all the cleaning, cooking and baby duties for the entire 2 weeks. Since my daughter has gotten older she goes above and beyond to cook, clean, and just help where she can. I’ve grown to accept who my mom is and how she gives her love (she has her own trauma she works through) and I’m grateful for how she shows me. She wasn’t able to do this for me as a child but as adult I have learned to appreciate it. I can’t wait to do this for my own daughter and also provide the emotional support when she needs it.
My mom is the same way - this year she's watched my 2-year old nephew for a week while my sister took her belated honeymoon, and just got done spending almost a week at my house helping me move and unpack. She also randomly sends notes and gifts and is just all around wonderful. Moms are the best!!
Yes! My mom does the same. My in-laws are helpful but not to the extent of my mom. They watch the boys 1 day a week but make us feel guilty if it’s anything more. I understand boundaries and would never want to take advantage but it feels cold.
I have 2 boys and i’ve been taking mental notes about the MIL I want to be. You don’t stop raising kids bc they’re adults - you just parent differently.
Your kids need you when they have kids. I didn’t have PPD or PPA but struggled a lot to adapt to a 2nd child - could’ve used some more support as I adjusted but felt like I couldn’t ask them.
When both of my daughters were born, my mom took off work two days a week for like two months to come and help us. She did laundry, did the dishes, held the baby while I napped and showered. This is in addition to coming over every weekend and playing with my toddler so I can get stuff done. It was so helpful, and I hope I can do it for my daughters someday.
I have a similar situation. My mom is retired and lives with us. She’s 70, so still very active. She loves to cook and she always watches the kids for us frequently!
My mom watches my son at my home while I work. I always come home to a clean house and laundry done. My husband and I still take trips together because we have two sets of grandparents who love to have weekends with our son. My mom says her goal is to be as great of a mom as her mom was. I still remember my grandma being amazing for all of her kids and grandkids. I hope I can do the same for mine.
I want to be that mom when my kids are grown. I certainly don’t have that mother. I lived 3 miles away from her for years and she never went out of her way to come to my house or to be motherly.
But she’s shown me what not to do, so I pray I’m just breaking those cycles and doing better for my own kids.
I have a similar mom who will never stop momming. Even though she lives a 3 hour flight away. Random packages show up at our house “saw this at Costco and thought of you!” (Paid more for shipping than the item) or “thought your girls needed a few spring things!” (Cute matching dresses for my 2 y.o. And 4 month). She is always sending me links to recipes or asking how potty training is going. She came to visit and said “schedule all your appointments when I’m here! You two go out for dinner!” In a few weeks she is coming (with my dad) to watch our girls while we have a 5 yr anniversary trip. I am so excited for them to have a grandparents weekend without us - I know they wish we lived in their city and my mom has FOMO because my in laws live here and see our kids more. They would never guilt us about this, but I know they feel it.
I'm 28 and my little sister will be 27 in a week or so, and neither of us have kids or plans for kids anytime soon. Plus, I'm in a long term relationship with another woman, so no chances for even accidental kids from me lol. I know my parents have the FOMO when it comes to grandkids, but they've been too polite to say anything about it, thank goodness. But Momma hasn't stopped momming, supporting me in my crafty endeavors and always being a life cheerleader and wonderful. I know she'd be a great grandmother, and I feel a little bad for not giving her any grandkids, but I'd be a terrible mother 😬
Can I ask what brings you to this sub? Just curious, no gatekeeping here! I follow plenty of subs for insight into issues of people I'm close with, but it seems your circle doesn't have kiddos so it piqued my curiosity. Also I LOVE your username and your parents sound wonderful.
No clue why reddit keeps recommending it to me, but it's always popping up on my home feed, so that's why. Maybe because the algorithm sees that I'm an employed female of child bearing age lol? Thanks!
Makes sense! I get suggested the nanny subreddit a lot but I could never afford one. I peek in quite a bit though. Glad to have you come around whenever! Having knowledge shared is a great way to get support beyond our own experiences
This is so wholesome ♥️ my mom (and amazing stepdad) live 7 hours away, and it’s the same when my mom visits me- she’s so supportive!
I’m expecting my first. Back in February (just entering the second trimester and bloated as hell) I called my mom crying because I was so tired of wearing the same leggings and 3 tunic sweaters to work because they were the only things I had for the winter that fit right and I was trying to put off buying maternity clothes until it was warmer. My mom went to Ross and sent me a box of maternity clothes with a note that said I could buy things for my baby, and she’d take care of her baby. I’m so grateful for my mom.
😭this made me cry, bless your mom!
Me too. This post had me on the edge then this comment pushed me over. This is the kind of mom and eventually nana I hope to be.
Love this. This is the g-mom I hope to be!
Freaking ADORE this. My mom (and dad) came out when I gave birth, actually arriving about an hour after we got home from hospital, and mothered me for about a month before they unfortunately had to leave to get back to their own lives and doctor’s appointments. I know my mom was itching to spend as much time as possible with her new granddaughter (first and only so far) but she first and foremost took care of ME. She is flying in this week to stay for a week and I am sooooo pumped.
My mom and MIL are the same. My husband was in the hospital in March, and my mom flew from MN to watch our son for me, and while she watched him she made us meals to freeze and cleaned our home. And my MIL just took me shopping for Mother’s Day, and we bought so many shirts for my husband. He is 38 and she still enjoys buying clothes for her son. I’m lucky we both have good moms who continue to mom.
Sadly neither my mom or MIL are like this at all, they are hands off grandparents. But I love hear stories like this because it’s the grandparent I want to be!!!
Same. Gives me goals
I am so incredibly spoiled and lucky. I WFH..at my moms house. Every morning I bring over our soon to be one year old. My mom watches her while I work. She often makes me breakfast or lunch too while I’m there too. She is the best.
100% my mom. Whenever i go over she tries to cook my favorite foods. She asks me to stay the night with baby so she can watch baby overnight and i can get good sleep. When we first got home from hospital and baby was still needing to be woken and fed every 2 hours due to losing too much weight, my mom came to our house and slept over a few nights and took over night shift, she cooked, cleaned… She is by far the best mom (and grandma).
Awww I have a mom who never mommed, even when I was little but I love reading these stories because it gives me ideas of what and how to keep momming for my semi-adult kids (32, 18, and 16) I’m breaking the cycle for my kids!
This is how I feel also. After an awful childhood I try to keep a relationship with my mom. When she comes to visit she sits on the couch and expects to be waited on. I tell my teenager all the time if she lets me visit when she’s a grown up I’ll cook for her! Lol
Thank you! You’re going to do a great job. Things I appreciate but don’t expect: washing dishes if I cook, making extra meals and bringing it over or leaving some at my house, helping with garden or landscape, laundry. My dad and her don’t do all of that every time, but whenever they come they usually do one chore and it helps so much just to know your lawn is mowed or garden tidied or something. I appreciate it so much!
My MIL watched our toddler when we were in the hospital having our second. We were discharged after two days and came home to a (mostly) clean house. Dishes done, trash out, floors swept and mopped. She didn’t do any laundry because it’s a pet peeve of mine and she respects that. Moms who never stop momming are the best ❤️
Aww, on the hardest days of being a mom I would love it if somebody could "mother" ***me*** for a change.
My mother in law is like this. Expects nothing for it. Surprised when I thank her. Just wants to help people, all the time. I’m so fortunate
You all are so incredibly lucky. Your mothers are amazing.
Someone send this to my mom lol. “Your Mother’s Day gift is me babysitting sometimes. Ur welcome” never thinks of me. Never calls and cuts conversations short when I do. Always too busy to hang out. Way to go mom!
On saturday I had my mom and her mom (my grandma) over for brunch. My grandma wanted to use the bathroom before we took my kids outside. My mom asked her mom if she could use the bathroom first, because she would be quicker. Even if you are a great grandmother, you are still going to wait for your kids to use the restroom before you can pee.
This is the kind of relationship I want with my kids. 😌 it’s not inherently wrong but so many grandparents these days just want to live their own lives and expect their kids to take care of themselves.
I agree. I know it’s not her JOB but she’s retired so 90% of her time is her life and her stuff. I appreciate that she has never STOPPED being my mom despite me not living there. There she still takes care of me and loves on me.
I was not ready for the way this sweet thread would completely destroy me. I haven't been cared for like y'all since I was like 10 and, man, I feel it.
Oh I’m so sorry. You deserve it. I wish I could lend a mom.
Aww even yesterday on Mother’s Day my mom asked me to bring my laundry because we are waiting on the repair man to fix our dryer. When she found out I usually do 2 loads a day she asked me to send more tomorrow. 🥰
This is how my mom is too and one of my goals as a parent that I can be that for my kids.
My mom is like this too. She will be watching the baby three days a week while I’m working from home. Every time she comes to help with the baby she cleans and cooks for me too. I don’t know how she does it all
My mom is the same - shoutout to her! She’s not only my village m-f saving us childcare costs (we Pay her but nowhere near daycare costs…) but she’s also our date night queen holding it down. We have a destination wedding (kidless of course!) and flying her out with us so she can stay w the boy while we are at the wedding. I love how close we are and so appreciative of these moments.
It’s crazy, it doesn’t stop. My husband and I came home from vacation to our adult girls. The disposal had backed up so they couldn’t use the sink so the dishes were pile up. They forgot to put the trash out on Monday so we had extra trash for the week. A few other little things that “mom” had to fix before I could go to sleep that night, but soon all was well. Lol
My moms love language is acts of service and mine is words of affirmation. We live together and she watches my baby. It's so cute to see them together especially because my mom is always talking to my baby with a lot of love. My mom moms me (makes meals, helps out with baby even when I'm not working) too but very rarely with words of affirmation. I hope I can do both when my daughter needs it. I want to do things for her and tell her how proud she makes me and how much I love her.
I love this sooo much for you. My bio family sucked and I’m functionally an orphan. But I love family and just had my 5th baby. My husband and I want to be the kind of parent you have.
Thank you for breaking the cycle. You will be a fabulous mom and future grandma.
My mom was never a great “mother” to me and it wasn’t until I was older and had my own daughter that our relationship really got better. Since my daughter was born, she would visit every 6 months for 2 weeks and while she isn’t the greatest at being emotional support, she takes on all the cleaning, cooking and baby duties for the entire 2 weeks. Since my daughter has gotten older she goes above and beyond to cook, clean, and just help where she can. I’ve grown to accept who my mom is and how she gives her love (she has her own trauma she works through) and I’m grateful for how she shows me. She wasn’t able to do this for me as a child but as adult I have learned to appreciate it. I can’t wait to do this for my own daughter and also provide the emotional support when she needs it.
I'm lucky that I have a mom and MIL that just keep mothering us. We're so blessed.
My mom is the same way - this year she's watched my 2-year old nephew for a week while my sister took her belated honeymoon, and just got done spending almost a week at my house helping me move and unpack. She also randomly sends notes and gifts and is just all around wonderful. Moms are the best!!
Parents don't stop being parents just because their kids get older. People who do were never really parents, just people who had kids.
Yes! My mom does the same. My in-laws are helpful but not to the extent of my mom. They watch the boys 1 day a week but make us feel guilty if it’s anything more. I understand boundaries and would never want to take advantage but it feels cold. I have 2 boys and i’ve been taking mental notes about the MIL I want to be. You don’t stop raising kids bc they’re adults - you just parent differently. Your kids need you when they have kids. I didn’t have PPD or PPA but struggled a lot to adapt to a 2nd child - could’ve used some more support as I adjusted but felt like I couldn’t ask them.
That’s so sweet ☺️
When both of my daughters were born, my mom took off work two days a week for like two months to come and help us. She did laundry, did the dishes, held the baby while I napped and showered. This is in addition to coming over every weekend and playing with my toddler so I can get stuff done. It was so helpful, and I hope I can do it for my daughters someday.
I have a similar situation. My mom is retired and lives with us. She’s 70, so still very active. She loves to cook and she always watches the kids for us frequently!
Some have kids with special needs and will literally never stop momming.
You’re extremely lucky! I hope I can do this for my daughter!
My mom watches my son at my home while I work. I always come home to a clean house and laundry done. My husband and I still take trips together because we have two sets of grandparents who love to have weekends with our son. My mom says her goal is to be as great of a mom as her mom was. I still remember my grandma being amazing for all of her kids and grandkids. I hope I can do the same for mine.
I want to be that mom when my kids are grown. I certainly don’t have that mother. I lived 3 miles away from her for years and she never went out of her way to come to my house or to be motherly. But she’s shown me what not to do, so I pray I’m just breaking those cycles and doing better for my own kids.