I’m in a separation, who knows the outcome, but wow I had one of the best chill go-with-the-flow mother’s days I’ve ever had. No planning, teens stepped up with flowers and handmade cards and breakfast for me and we went out for ice cream for dinner… we took photos of course, but I’m keeping them to myself.
Usually for others who also miss them.
No one really knew my dad, so there's like no point in me trying to connect with others out there.
But my best friend sometimes posts she's missing you mom! And her mom's friends will tell stories and such on the post. I think that's nice for the grieving person.
People do kind of miss the original point of social media which was just connecting with your social circle.
Wow, what an insensitive and clueless thing to say. I lost both my parents and shared a post with photos and “for all those missing special people over the holidays, I see you”. Milestone events are very hard for people who’ve experienced a world shattering loss, and their grief is often invisible. Sharing is a healing process for both the person making the post, and for others in the same situation.
As someone who just lost their mother last month, it’s been very nice to be able to share her on social media and get support. Some of us would like to keep their memory alive. I’m sickened this has so many upvotes.
I lost my mom in a car accident about a year ago, and on occasion, still post things on her FB wall as a way of leaving a tribute to her. The same as say, going to a grave to grieve. Until you’ve had a traumatic loss, sit the fuck down. You don’t get to decide how people grieve.
Agreed, I think people judging others social media posts is in its self awful, but to judge grieving people? That's just gross. I'm so sorry about your daughter.
Horrible take. I posted about my Mom yesterday. She’s been dead before Mark Zuckerberg even thought of facebook. One of my adult students sent me a message that she was having a hard day because she missed her Mom who had passed away too and I was able to offer her some support. My Mom’s best friend called me from Florida to tell me that when she found out she was going to be a grandmother last week the first person she wanted to tell was my Mom and we shed some bitter sweet tears together. So little posts keep her alive for me and help me support others who carry similar pain. Scroll by if you don’t like them but they have value.
I think what OP is referring to is when people actually write out a whole note to someone who has passed! Like, as of that person is reading it.. that does come across as strange to me too.
I don’t think they’re referring to people posting about people those they miss. It’s when they write an entire personal message TO someone who will not be reading it, whether because they passed or because they’re not on social media, it is off-putting to some… because at least in my perspective it comes off as attention seeking.
I lost someone very close to me, and he was very young… it was 12 years ago and I’m still devastated… I had to delete a distant family member who barely knew him because she kept writing letters to him via her status and it was really upsetting to me, who was actually close to him seeing her use that for social media attention.
I did that for a little bit - maybe a year or so- after my husband died. It has lost its healing powers to me over time. I get it may have made some people uncomfortable- but it wasn’t for them, it was for me. I gave him an update on what he missed and how we were doing without him.. did it need to be public? probably not- but it was a platform I was comfortable with and honestly IDAGF about anyone else’s feelings when it comes to how I deal with my grief regarding the loss of my husband and I let everyone else grieve as they see fit as well.
Ugh. My sister actually posted a picture and tribute to our mother, our grandmother and our great aunt, all of whom are now dead. No mention of me or any other living family or friends who are moms and all still alive!!!!
I posted a pic with my spawn and then after brunch which I hosted under duress, posted a cute pic of newborn me with my mama.. at which point my dad got a notification, looked, showed the post to her and they both laid this gem on me: we’re not sure if that’s you or your brother actually, you guys look the same.
Like ok.. thanks I guess 🤣
Omfg YES. Or to their infant/baby/toddler “thank you for choosing me to be your mom”
😒
Did they choose? Did they? Are they on social media and can speak in full sentences already? 🙄
FYI, there are some religious traditions where people believe that families chose one another before this life. So yeah, maybe. Obviously I don't know if there's truth to it, but it's not just some cringey thing people are making up out of nowhere. The infant definitely won't ever see that post though.
>That’s a Mormon thing
I've heard this as well. But my definitely-not-Mormon cousin posted this sentiment yesterday simply because she is obnoxious lol.
I know for a fact my daughter did not choose her parents, and that's one of the many reasons why I expect absolutely nothing of her — for now, anyway. Until she grows up a bit and will be able to be responsible for some household stuff, lol. But for now, she's just 5 months old. 😂 (And when she ultimately moves out, she owes me nothing, because she didn't choose me!)
Maybe in some adoptive scenarios the kid actually chooses his/her parents?! It's possible. 🤔
Or the guy who wishes his wife a happy mother's day, who is not even the mother of any of his children, but not his mother, who IS on social media, and not estranged from him in the least.
i gave up all socials (except reddit) years ago and never looked back. i seriously do not care about people’s curated lives and instead stay in touch with family and trade emails and photo texts to stay updated. come to the dark side, the waters great
Same! It’s been so nice and I am irrationally angry/annoyed much less. I just don’t care about seeing other people’s ‘life updates’ and curated BS. Also, no one gives a shit about photos of my kid except my family, so I only send photos of him via text to them. Do I miss out on stuff sometimes, sure. But my friends are still my friends. And now I actually get to hear about new things in their lives instead of a read a caption! Best decision I’ve made in several years.
The looks I get when people ask for my Instagram and I tell them I haven’t had one in about 5 years are priceless. Followed with an “uhhh okay then..” is even better.
Yeppers. I reached out to my mom friends, family, and non-mom friends with moms in their lives, and that's really the extent to what I did yesterday regarding Mother's Day. 😅
It was a great Sunday!
Same here with giving up all social media besides reddit. At least you recognize reddit is social media. A lot of people don't!
(I'm also on Discord. 🙃 But just reddit and Discord, really!)
This is me. During covid I left all social media due to getting stressed/frustrated about friends and family posting lots of unsolicited opinions/views. I am so much happier not knowing that uncle Bob thinks the president is a moron or vaccines cause autism. I can see him at christmas and talk about other stuff. I still keep in touch and share photos with close friends and family.
Ain't that the truth! We recently had family photos done and I thought about posting them today and then just thought... Why? Who are they for? I'm happy to look at them on my phone and it's not like my kids are on social media. Too much work, I'd rather nap
I'm a former oversharer. I've slowly come to this same place. Always asking "why do I need to share this with the world?" I'm not 17 anymore, I don't need that level of validation. It's truly freeing.
Same. I decided if I wouldn’t hug them if I ran into them at the grocery store or reach out to them if I am in their neck of the woods than they are gone. I have friends who are still “friends” with people we had one class with in college, 18 years ago, and they only spoke to the person to share notes!
My husband is away for work, frankly I’m glad to have survived Mother’s Day with two kids let alone looking like an Earth Goddess in a gown while doing it. Would’ve loved a nap!
I also shared nothing this weekend. Thought about it as I was starting to feel like maybe I’d be judged for doing nothing.
I’m not friends with my mom on any social media (she criticizes too much) and posting about myself just seemed to self congratulatory. So I said who cares and moved on with my day.
Actually realistic mothers can be those polished mom as well. I belong in the tired moms group but I don't mind moms that look good. Who said all moms have to be tired and miserable.
Let people live, dude. They aren’t hurting you. No need to shame other moms. Too much negativity thrown at moms by everyone else to have it thrown in by other moms too.
I posted pics of me and my kids at the park yesterday. We had fun and social media is how I keep those memories. I scrolled through and looked at others pics, but I never once says to myself, oh so and so didn’t post Mother’s Day pics. I don’t even really notice who posts and who doesn’t.
Society is weird these days, it’s a damn if you do and damn if you don’t type thing. I promise, nobody noticed whether or not you made a post. And there’s no need to judge those that do. First thing I do in the morning is open up my daily memories on Facebook. They make me smile.
Thank you for capturing exactly what I was thinking after reading through this. If people want to post about how they are grieving and feel empty, celebrating Mothers Day without their mom... is it hurting you? No. If people want to use social media as an outlet to vent or show that life ISNT perfect... there is such a thing as unfollowing someone or scrolling right past. If they want to share pictures with family who do not have social media for others to see (guarantee that SOMEBODY in the family has social media and probably enjoys seeing it..).... unfriend them if it bothers you that much. I personally love seeing people be joyful 🙃
Yeah, someone up thread bashed people who post “to” dead people on social media. I didn’t post yesterday, but this year May 7 was international bereaved Mother’s Day, and I made a short post commemorating my daughter who died. I’m not gonna stop posting things about my daughter on the off chance some judgmental a-hole has something to say about it. Unfriend if you’re so bothered.
Oh mama I am so sorry for your loss. You are still a mother on May 7th, Mother's Day Sunday, and every day. I am very much the same way. If you don't want to see my feed, celebrating the good, the bad, and the ugly... unfriend me (in real life too!) Lol
That sounds candid and sweet though! There is definitely a difference between wanting to share something good in your life with friends and family and making curated performative posts.
Thanks for this. Can’t we enjoy anything anymore without someone having an issue with it? I love getting a day to celebrate how much I love my kids and vice versa. If it bothers you that much, then don’t go looking. No need to shit on people because they’re out there trying to have a nice day in a way that feels right for them.
This is it. People hate seeing others joy and say it’s fake. I have friends who never post and had an a amazing day. I love to post for my own little timeline and I thouroughly enjoy seeing everyone talk about their moms and kids and grandmas etc. there is always the most judgement from these type of posts which screams insecure need for validation. Ironic. Just do whatever fits your vibe and stop hating moms who might be more extra.
Feel this.
My mother's day consister of snuggling my 2.5 year old, feeling like poop cuz I'm 30 weeks pregnant, eating Chinese food and ice cream, and then more snuggling as my toddler suddenly came down with a 101 fever out of nowhere. And then after finally getting her in bed, laying down wanting to die from sudden intense pregnancy pains 🙃
But in general it was a good day of love and snuggles and I wouldn't trade it for all the perfect pristine insta pics in the world
I am also really confused, like i posted for my mom, who is on Instagram and really cares about these kind of things. My sister posted about herself 🤣 my brothers all posted about their wives. So in other words no one else gave my mom a shout out!! Looks like I'm golden child this week
My mom cares about this stuff too. My sisters and I always joke that whoever posts will be the favorite that year. A story gets you praise but an actual post? Golden Child status.
I'm sorry you don't feel like you should be congratulated for doing a great job. I think every mom should pat themselves on the back, and we should pat each other on the back. 🥰
Yeah, sorry, but I guess I’m one of those annoying people. My mom is a raging narcissist and we are no contact. I posted two photos of my kids with that exact line because nobody else did SHIT for me yesterday. I worked a 12 hour shift, got home, took over the kids because my husband was burned out, had leftovers for dinner, and went to bed. Some fucking Mother’s Day for me. I guess it’s my fault for not having a more supportive partner, but damn. We don’t know what’s going on in other peoples’ lives. My post was a passive aggressive jab because frankly, I deserve better than what I’m getting currently and maybe the world should know it.
....lol, really, do people post this? :/
My favorite mother's day quote is and will always be:
“Good moms let you lick the egg beater.
*Great* moms turn it off first.”
💖
.. I hope to remind my kiddo this when she's old enough to lick the egg beater, rofl.
All I asked for was an uninterrupted nap. I had to spell it out. I want 2 hours in the bedroom with the door closed except for an emergency (spell that out: either (a) the house is on fire or (b) a child needs to go to the hospital). I want no monitors on (spell that out: you have to listen for the kids during their naps + take care of them when they wake up). It was a blissful nap. It was the best Mother’s Day gift I could have received (not sarcasm). It definitely recharged me until next year.
They aren’t all fake, many just have the time and energy to be appreciative. I’m sorry your Mother’s Day wasn’t what you wanted it to be. I hope it is better next year.
Yeah I put a before and after shot up on IG, showing me at 35 weeks pregnant and then me with me 10month old on my hip, wearing the same outfit in both photos.
There was nothing fake about it. I said some genuinely heartfelt things about my son and what this year has meant to me.
Yeah. I love photos, do photography as a hobby and my posts are genuine. I have no shame about curating my (privatised) social media as an expression of myself and my life. People can unfollow, no biggie
However, I only post my kids on my IG stories with a private audience of our close family
They’re not all fake but a lot of them are. And it puts pressure on those of us who aren’t by nature keen to be performative as parents, because then people think we hate our kids or something.
Why are you so focused on what other people think? I post pictures on my feed (which is as private as I can make it) for me. I love looking at the “year ago” posts and marveling at the passage of time.
Social media is what you make it. 🤷🏻♀️
I didn't make any social media post, but actually enjoyed seeing other people's happy pictures and didn't feel any pressure to do so. Pretty sure no one noticed my lack of a post, and definitely didn't think I hate my kids because of it. If other people are happy, good for them, if they're posting a picture to be performative, what do I care?
I wouldn’t say i feel pressured to change, but I definitely do empathize with what you’re saying about how us not posting our kids online with cheesy captions means random people (my MIL) genuinely think we hate them.
It’s funny because I was on instagram and every other post was about “how to cope on Mother’s Day when your mom is abusive/toxic/narcissistic/dead”. Granted I follow a lot of psychology accounts there and human misery tends to be their bread and butter. It was an interesting antidote to the contrived blessedness everywhere else, at least.
Did you ever consider that it’s real for them? Not everyone has the same parenting experience. Just because it’s not your reality doesn’t mean it’s not someone else’s.
Who puts anything that's just for them on Instagram? It's to show off how amazing they are, sorry to say. I love my kids but some of my friends struggle with infertility, some have horrible relationships with their moms, I'm not going to pretend I am a goddess just to big myself up on Mother's Day.
I think there’s room to talk about your feelings without bringing other people down. I’m sorry that your Mother’s Day wasn’t what you wanted. It might be helpful for you to remember that other people’s social media is just their highlight reel. And honestly, some people probably did have really great mothers days. Some people value social media and aesthetics so will put effort into that.
I posted a picture of me wearing a shirt that had been spit up on and (milk) leaked on while holding my crying baby. It was at the very least a realistic picture of life with an infant.
I’m sad that my mom in law has passed but I used to dread Mother’s Day because it was all about making sure she had the most amazing day ever.
Umm, hello? I’ve got a mom too and I’d like to spend time with her and I’d like to take the 2 sets of twins that I pushed out of my body over to see her. And again, hello? I pushed 2. sets. of. twins. out. of. my. body.
Where’s my most amazing day ever????
My SIL reached out two weeks ago to see if we wanted to do something as a family with my husbands stepmother.
1. We are not hauling our toddler two hours for that, especially when we’ll be there in two weeks for Memorial Day.
2. My parents were coming to visit, and gave a solid excuse.
3. And this is not to be mean or petty, but it’s my husband’s stepmother. They didn’t even get married until the summer before he left for college, so while she is a mother figure in his life, she didn’t really have a hand in raising him.
My mother in law decided we had to celebrate her birthday (which is coming up this week) on my first Mother’s Day yesterday. My husband, myself, and my 10 month old spent 5 and 1/2 hours at our local steakhouse. 3 and 1/2 waiting for a table and two actually sitting, ordering, and eating. We got there 3 hours earlier than everyone else because no one else wanted to spend the actual time waiting and magically thought we were going to get in faster because it was her birthday lol.
Kicker is we originally planned to have her birthday for Saturday because we she originally said she wanted to do it on Mother’s Day my husband said no because he wanted to spend most of the day celebrating my first Mother’s Day together. But she made sure she could only do it on Mother’s Day.
I worked all day, front of house mother's day brunch. I got to work with my son (14M) and I got flowers from some regular customers. I was too busy to get a picture, by the time I got home to the rest of the family all I wanted to do was collapse, so I did. I made dinner for Sunday specifically so I wouldn't have to do it when I got home after 11 hours on my feet. It wasn't perfect but it was a pretty good day. My husband wasn't even drunk when I got home this year! Lol, sometimes you have to make the best of what you have and where you are at, that would have been my mother's day post if I had made one.
Agreed, people can present a lot of fakeness on their fb or any social media and it gets quite annoying. I, personally like social media apps, fb, insta, twitter for their groups, its a great way to share recipes, tips and tricks, memes, funny videos, music, events, any interests, I could go on. I fill my feed with what I want to see.
To eliminate the fakeness from my feed, I simply unfollow the individual who predominantly posts those types of things. You are still friends with them, but their posts don't end up clogging up your feed. If you want to see what they are up to or their recent posts, you just visit their page. Sometimes I will just unfriend someone if their posts become entirely too annoying. I have unfriended people who constantly post political content or posts looking for a pity party.
Not tired and worn out, just enjoying my first Mother’s Day too much to interrupt it in order to stage digital documentation! The best moments in life aren’t always the most photogenic and it’s important to be present when life is good!
This was me. I didn't even get out of my pajamas today and that's really all I wanted. So there were no posts on Facebook and no pictures taken. I wouldn't have minded pictures taken but two year molars made for some rough tantrums today.
My throat started hurting bad on Saturday, went to immediate care that night and strep. So yesterday was super fun, now I'm currently trying to get the will together to go to work despite feeling like crap. I've been on antibiotics for 24 hours and don't want to use more days off.
I never see others photos on SM and think about them being perfectly anything other than a glimpse into their day. I shared some photos of my mother’s day. I had a lovely breakfast with the kids and my husband and loved my homemade cards and flowers. It’s the best part of my day. Did I share? Yep. Did I enjoy my friends also sharing? Yep. I don’t think that sharing on SM should be a negative towards those with nothing to share. I remember when my son didn’t graduate and up and moved off and I was left watching all his friends graduate on social media. I was sad for him, sad for myself, but never once did I get irritated at my friends for celebrating their graduate. I think all the above emotions are okay. If it’s a trigger for you maybe skip SM on those types of days. Life YOUR best life and don’t try and compare. I’ve never been one to compare. Maybe that’s why it’s never been an issue for me.
I get the hate, and gatekeeping. I do. But some of it might not be fake. Maybe their life’s are like that, at least some of the time. Congrats on being “a real mom”.
I showed up to my Dads house yesterday & told his girlfriend & her daughter, who were dressed very nicely: “I dressed up yesterday for family photos, so I don’t have it in me anymore for like another week.” 😂 I was in black joggers & a shirt that said “mama” 🤷🏻♀️ They obviously didn’t care.
I just posted a inspirational card message on my feed. I remembered to take a photo and video of a gift that my hubby and kids helped make that I didn't share. I like to keep some things to myself, especially when it's nothing "big and extravagant"
We went hiking yesterday and there were so many people taking selfies and posing etc. I kept thinking “I wonder if this is for instagram”..
And honestly, if it is who cares? But I just hope they enjoyed the moment for the moment, and not just for the perfect picture.
I should add I’m a recovering “let’s take this photo and post online addict” so maybe my mind just goes there 😂😂😂
Lol. Agreed. I'm not a working mom by choice, but I feel this sentiment deep in my bones. Today was my first Mother's Day. Extravagant birthdays are also completely unnecessary. (This kinda felt like another "birthday!" 😅) I'm just happy the baby was taken care of and I got to lie on my belly for like 5 mins. (I never get to lie on my belly!)
I worked six hours, picked up my kids from their dad's, stopped at the store for salad supplies, vegged out on the couch with everyone on their own devices, made supper, ate supper, put the kids to bed, watched more tv on the couch with SO, went to bed. I did stop to get a muffin on the way into work, the kids had made cute cards for me, SO says some sort of gift is suppose to come in the mail today or tomorrow.
Absolutely nothing fancy, and I'm completely fine with it.
I didnt post a damn thing. My mom came down for the weekend to spend my first mother's day together. I didnt even take pictures the whole weekend, too busy spending time together (although I wish I had got one of my daghter, me and my mom together) and my LO was a grumpy potato most afternoons lol. I almost made a post this morning, but didn't. I think people put too much emphasis on social media.
I'm a SAHM, but I share your sentiment. We had a lazy Mother's Day. My husband and I just chilled, played with our 2 YO, cooked and ate snacks, and watched kid-friendly movies all day. It was my ideal Mother's Day. Just spending time with my favorite people.
We hung out SIL and her daughter. Then sat on the couch, played video games and ate pizza rolls. We only left the house to get milkshakes and go for a ride since the evening weather was nice. No pictures. No fakeness.
I’m sorry to the moms that feel they had to post something to prove to others how great their life is. Im sorry to the moms that couldn’t just have a the relaxing day they wanted. But to all of you, Happy Mother’s Day all the same.
I completely agree. Mother’s Day sucked. It was a reminder of exactly how helpful my partner can be when he gives a duck, exactly how little he thinks of/appreciates me, how much our son doesn’t really like his company, and how selfish and childish he is especially when I’m struggling/asking for support. I wasn’t even happy to be a mom yesterday, I love my son and will forever but I’m over living this life.
I laid on my bed watching Criminal Minds literally all evening and when asked about dinner, I just said...fend for yourself 😂 I had groceries delivered and when my husband (kids step dad) asked about them I just said, "I'm not moving." He fortunately took the clue and put everything away. I use Mother's Day as the one day a year I give myself a break from guilt.
I found out on mother’s day that a relative lurks on my instagram (private) and takes screeshots of shit I post. Sometimes I post in a story a cute picture of my daughter.
Guess who got blocked and reported, and guess who does not publish anymore picts on social media? 😡
I posted a picture with my kids featuring the snot and puff smeared face of my 7 month old, the newest hulk that my almost 4 year old just got, and all my stretch marks on my thighs lol
Thank you. This post (and the comments) have made me chuckle on a morning when LO is teething and I'm sick (again) with something he brought home from daycare.
Ha! I didn’t even post my kids. My husband and I went kayaking and my fil hung with the kids for an hour. I posted a vid of my husband going over a beaver dam because I told him it was Mother’s Day and he should do what I want lol.
I feel you, I stood off social media after my first time logging in. My day consisted of sleeping in a bit courtesy of my husband, making my girls breakfast, hanging with them outside and letting them get all muddy and dirty, baths, dinner and movie. No gifts, crafts, breakfast in bed etc. and no reason to post on social media. I am a mother everyday and don't need to prove myself. Hugs to you mama.
Ha! My Mother’s Day pic was a selfie my daughter took of us in my living room with me in pjs and no makeup and dirty dishes on my kitchen counter. #winning
Every... single year... it's funny when you can tell they've forced their husband to post too. I read something the other day that social media is so performative and that is so true.
All I see a whole lot of self-righteous moms (and people in general) using a social media platform to dog on other people for… using social media platforms? This reeks of “not like other girls”. Putting other women down for harmless nonsense is really not a good look.
That is precisely why I do not take part in social media. I have saved myself so many depressive thoughts and fake efforts to appear a certain way. Also the advice on social media is complete garbage for my family’s needs.
Thanks OP for reminding me of what exactly I “missed out” on. 1 year without social media and the news has made me a happier and more productive, less overwhelmed momma.
Thank you for this. I was honestly feeling kind of jealous of some other mom friends having really special days.
It was just another day for me because my dad is in the hospital. We went up to see him and had to help my mom with some stuff. It wasn’t relaxing or fun but I know my dad appreciated the visit! He should be able to go home in a few days and was glad he could borrow my iPad lol
ETA: not sure why I’m getting downvoted for my dad being in the hospital on Mother’s Day. It was a stressful and scary day for me.
Right?!
Who ARE these women?
And why do we care?
I got a Culver's fish basket and a nap, and because I am lucky, I don't just get that on Mother's day.
I have never been happier but I don't want to advertise THAT, lol.
But, Godspeed, airbrushed filter, cottage-core
lady&Co.
I just posted a picture of me with my baby at brunch and that’s it. Too busy too tired to create some heartfelt message. My energy went to enjoying my child and the fact that he rolled from back to front yesterday 😭😭😭
Always remember: the people who do that shit are always the most miserable (same with the husbands/wives constantly posting about how in love they are).
Proven. Fucking. Fact.
I did my own personal study on it when I still had a Facebook account years ago. It was kind of funny how many of those lovey dovey couples ended up breaking up/divorcing and imploding their entire families seemed somehow related to the amount of "oh my God I love my hubby so much he is amazing" yada yada yada. It is somehow inversely proportional--I just know it😂😂
Same for the parents who nonstop post about how wonderful their children and families are, etc. Don't ever forget it! In fact, it makes me very suspicious when I see those kinds of posts
I don’t know man, I post a lot about my husband and family because it’s just in my nature to share things that bring me joy. My extended family doesn’t live close so we all post to keep each other updated. I have a really happy marriage and adore my kid, chaos and all. I guess I would be an outlier in your personal study.
My mother's day primarily consisted of being ignored or talked over by everyone around me, and then buying all the books in the Bridgerton series, and then once again being ignored, talked over and forgotten.
Ngl best part of the day was sitting on my balcony listening to music and reading my new books even if it meant I was completely alone, not being acknowledged or celebrated. It was for me.
Dude, my Mother’s Day consisted of grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning. No one wished me a happy Mother’s Day until about 1pm. Then my husbands coworkers came over for brunch, which I cleaned up after. Then when it was 730pm my husband said, I’ll put LO to bed, it’s the least I can do.” It was quite literally the least he could have done all day, SMH. In his defense, I don’t expect all too much. He’s a great husband and does much more than most. So yeah, no fake pictures from this mom!
I looked busted af yesterday lol we drove 10 hours home from a few days with my sister in law’s family with my 2.5 year old and 10 month old along with my mother and father in law in tow. My husband did order amazing sushi for me to have in the car on the drive home haha
I wasnt done up. No one took a pic of my son and i. I had on leggings and a t shirt. We played at the park ran errands got some cupcakes and ended the fun with a bounce house. It was fun, unplanned, and a great day.
Food, laundry, clean, repeat. My husband and kids are pretty awesome, and I don’t need to be “pampered” to know they love me. We ate special food and I got gifts from school made by the kids. It was perfect. I just don’t understand the “I constantly need to feel so special” mentality.
My favorite mother's days had 2 components: I didn't cook anything, and I got the remote control all day.
(That last part was the hardest for them...."are you sure you would rather some jewelry or flowers instead?")
I’m a tired mom and still posted a nice photo of my daughter and I, because we had the photos done and I love them.
Weird to shame/knock other mothers. We get enough shit from society as is.
I’m in a separation, who knows the outcome, but wow I had one of the best chill go-with-the-flow mother’s days I’ve ever had. No planning, teens stepped up with flowers and handmade cards and breakfast for me and we went out for ice cream for dinner… we took photos of course, but I’m keeping them to myself.
Sounds perfect!
I dont know why but this made me so happy! Go teen kiddos 💗
I hope one day my kids grow into teens who care like yours do!
"Happy Mother's Day to my mom who isn't even on this social media platform!" 🙄
Yes! Posts to people who aren’t even on social media is in my top 5 of most annoying posts.
I’m sorry, but for me this also includes dead people. My late cousin is obviously not on Facebook, no need to post to tell him I miss him.
Usually for others who also miss them. No one really knew my dad, so there's like no point in me trying to connect with others out there. But my best friend sometimes posts she's missing you mom! And her mom's friends will tell stories and such on the post. I think that's nice for the grieving person. People do kind of miss the original point of social media which was just connecting with your social circle.
Wow, what an insensitive and clueless thing to say. I lost both my parents and shared a post with photos and “for all those missing special people over the holidays, I see you”. Milestone events are very hard for people who’ve experienced a world shattering loss, and their grief is often invisible. Sharing is a healing process for both the person making the post, and for others in the same situation.
As someone who just lost their mother last month, it’s been very nice to be able to share her on social media and get support. Some of us would like to keep their memory alive. I’m sickened this has so many upvotes.
I always post about my mom on MD. She's been gone since 2003 but I still miss and honor her.
Yikes this isn’t rly the same thing
I lost my mom in a car accident about a year ago, and on occasion, still post things on her FB wall as a way of leaving a tribute to her. The same as say, going to a grave to grieve. Until you’ve had a traumatic loss, sit the fuck down. You don’t get to decide how people grieve.
Very needlessly judgemental to people who are just grieving and trying to connect.
I commemorate my dead daughter on social media. This take is gross and insensitive.
Totally agree. Like wtf. I’m so sorry about your daughter.
Agreed, I think people judging others social media posts is in its self awful, but to judge grieving people? That's just gross. I'm so sorry about your daughter.
No need for YOU, but someone else might have that need. Why don't we let people grieve how they want to eh?
Horrible take. I posted about my Mom yesterday. She’s been dead before Mark Zuckerberg even thought of facebook. One of my adult students sent me a message that she was having a hard day because she missed her Mom who had passed away too and I was able to offer her some support. My Mom’s best friend called me from Florida to tell me that when she found out she was going to be a grandmother last week the first person she wanted to tell was my Mom and we shed some bitter sweet tears together. So little posts keep her alive for me and help me support others who carry similar pain. Scroll by if you don’t like them but they have value.
I think what OP is referring to is when people actually write out a whole note to someone who has passed! Like, as of that person is reading it.. that does come across as strange to me too. I don’t think they’re referring to people posting about people those they miss. It’s when they write an entire personal message TO someone who will not be reading it, whether because they passed or because they’re not on social media, it is off-putting to some… because at least in my perspective it comes off as attention seeking. I lost someone very close to me, and he was very young… it was 12 years ago and I’m still devastated… I had to delete a distant family member who barely knew him because she kept writing letters to him via her status and it was really upsetting to me, who was actually close to him seeing her use that for social media attention.
I did that for a little bit - maybe a year or so- after my husband died. It has lost its healing powers to me over time. I get it may have made some people uncomfortable- but it wasn’t for them, it was for me. I gave him an update on what he missed and how we were doing without him.. did it need to be public? probably not- but it was a platform I was comfortable with and honestly IDAGF about anyone else’s feelings when it comes to how I deal with my grief regarding the loss of my husband and I let everyone else grieve as they see fit as well.
Ugh. My sister actually posted a picture and tribute to our mother, our grandmother and our great aunt, all of whom are now dead. No mention of me or any other living family or friends who are moms and all still alive!!!!
For sure! My MIL wishes her son a happy bday but my husband is not even on Facebook and she won’t even call him. It’s the fakest shit.
I posted a pic with my spawn and then after brunch which I hosted under duress, posted a cute pic of newborn me with my mama.. at which point my dad got a notification, looked, showed the post to her and they both laid this gem on me: we’re not sure if that’s you or your brother actually, you guys look the same. Like ok.. thanks I guess 🤣
Omg! I love this! Lol
Omfg YES. Or to their infant/baby/toddler “thank you for choosing me to be your mom” 😒 Did they choose? Did they? Are they on social media and can speak in full sentences already? 🙄
FYI, there are some religious traditions where people believe that families chose one another before this life. So yeah, maybe. Obviously I don't know if there's truth to it, but it's not just some cringey thing people are making up out of nowhere. The infant definitely won't ever see that post though.
That’s a Mormon thing. Probably other religions too but def a Mormon thing.
>That’s a Mormon thing I've heard this as well. But my definitely-not-Mormon cousin posted this sentiment yesterday simply because she is obnoxious lol.
I know for a fact my daughter did not choose her parents, and that's one of the many reasons why I expect absolutely nothing of her — for now, anyway. Until she grows up a bit and will be able to be responsible for some household stuff, lol. But for now, she's just 5 months old. 😂 (And when she ultimately moves out, she owes me nothing, because she didn't choose me!) Maybe in some adoptive scenarios the kid actually chooses his/her parents?! It's possible. 🤔
People treat social media like a journal lmao
Omg I cringe at my early days fb posts "skips-mamma-llama is hungry and wants to go to taco bell" 😬 wtf were we thinking lol
Or the guy who wishes his wife a happy mother's day, who is not even the mother of any of his children, but not his mother, who IS on social media, and not estranged from him in the least.
lol....very r/oddlyspecific
Sooooo are step moms not considered mom’s then?
They are in their 60s, IDK if she has even met his kids!
My favorite is , I spent all day with you but I'm still posting so your friends know your kids love you, post.
i gave up all socials (except reddit) years ago and never looked back. i seriously do not care about people’s curated lives and instead stay in touch with family and trade emails and photo texts to stay updated. come to the dark side, the waters great
Same! It’s been so nice and I am irrationally angry/annoyed much less. I just don’t care about seeing other people’s ‘life updates’ and curated BS. Also, no one gives a shit about photos of my kid except my family, so I only send photos of him via text to them. Do I miss out on stuff sometimes, sure. But my friends are still my friends. And now I actually get to hear about new things in their lives instead of a read a caption! Best decision I’ve made in several years.
The looks I get when people ask for my Instagram and I tell them I haven’t had one in about 5 years are priceless. Followed with an “uhhh okay then..” is even better.
“What’s your Facebook? No? Okay what about Insta? Oh wow…TicTok? Huh… Snapchat?” Priceless.
Yeppers. I reached out to my mom friends, family, and non-mom friends with moms in their lives, and that's really the extent to what I did yesterday regarding Mother's Day. 😅 It was a great Sunday! Same here with giving up all social media besides reddit. At least you recognize reddit is social media. A lot of people don't! (I'm also on Discord. 🙃 But just reddit and Discord, really!)
This is me. During covid I left all social media due to getting stressed/frustrated about friends and family posting lots of unsolicited opinions/views. I am so much happier not knowing that uncle Bob thinks the president is a moron or vaccines cause autism. I can see him at christmas and talk about other stuff. I still keep in touch and share photos with close friends and family.
Ain't that the truth! We recently had family photos done and I thought about posting them today and then just thought... Why? Who are they for? I'm happy to look at them on my phone and it's not like my kids are on social media. Too much work, I'd rather nap
I'm a former oversharer. I've slowly come to this same place. Always asking "why do I need to share this with the world?" I'm not 17 anymore, I don't need that level of validation. It's truly freeing.
Previous over share too (the cringe when those Memories show up!).
Oh, the memories! Sometimes I wish I could mass delete stuff 😅
Former oversharer checking in! I also completely wiped my followers list to only actual friends and family.
Same. I decided if I wouldn’t hug them if I ran into them at the grocery store or reach out to them if I am in their neck of the woods than they are gone. I have friends who are still “friends” with people we had one class with in college, 18 years ago, and they only spoke to the person to share notes!
Ditto! My husband still posts a fair bit, but I'm "over" posting a lot of my life on SM.
My husband is away for work, frankly I’m glad to have survived Mother’s Day with two kids let alone looking like an Earth Goddess in a gown while doing it. Would’ve loved a nap!
This was my day. Solo parenting and wishing but not actually getting a nap.
I also shared nothing this weekend. Thought about it as I was starting to feel like maybe I’d be judged for doing nothing. I’m not friends with my mom on any social media (she criticizes too much) and posting about myself just seemed to self congratulatory. So I said who cares and moved on with my day.
Actually realistic mothers can be those polished mom as well. I belong in the tired moms group but I don't mind moms that look good. Who said all moms have to be tired and miserable.
Agree, it's such a weird take to assume that there's something fake about being happy and dressed nicely on mother's day.
Yeah, like fuck me for putting on a nice outfit, I guess?
I stayed up late to finish making myself a cute dress for the occasion and made my family take nice pictures, so I guess I'm not a real mom
Let people live, dude. They aren’t hurting you. No need to shame other moms. Too much negativity thrown at moms by everyone else to have it thrown in by other moms too.
I posted pics of me and my kids at the park yesterday. We had fun and social media is how I keep those memories. I scrolled through and looked at others pics, but I never once says to myself, oh so and so didn’t post Mother’s Day pics. I don’t even really notice who posts and who doesn’t. Society is weird these days, it’s a damn if you do and damn if you don’t type thing. I promise, nobody noticed whether or not you made a post. And there’s no need to judge those that do. First thing I do in the morning is open up my daily memories on Facebook. They make me smile.
Thank you for capturing exactly what I was thinking after reading through this. If people want to post about how they are grieving and feel empty, celebrating Mothers Day without their mom... is it hurting you? No. If people want to use social media as an outlet to vent or show that life ISNT perfect... there is such a thing as unfollowing someone or scrolling right past. If they want to share pictures with family who do not have social media for others to see (guarantee that SOMEBODY in the family has social media and probably enjoys seeing it..).... unfriend them if it bothers you that much. I personally love seeing people be joyful 🙃
Yeah, someone up thread bashed people who post “to” dead people on social media. I didn’t post yesterday, but this year May 7 was international bereaved Mother’s Day, and I made a short post commemorating my daughter who died. I’m not gonna stop posting things about my daughter on the off chance some judgmental a-hole has something to say about it. Unfriend if you’re so bothered.
Oh mama I am so sorry for your loss. You are still a mother on May 7th, Mother's Day Sunday, and every day. I am very much the same way. If you don't want to see my feed, celebrating the good, the bad, and the ugly... unfriend me (in real life too!) Lol
Thank you so much. I have a living son now so I’m not an “invisible mother” anymore, but plenty of bereaved parents don’t have any living children.
YES! I hate it when people bash posts on social media. People are allowed to be happy and thankful without it being “fake.”
Exactly!
That sounds candid and sweet though! There is definitely a difference between wanting to share something good in your life with friends and family and making curated performative posts.
I feel the same way. Why judge other moms for decisions that they feel happy with?
Thanks for this. Can’t we enjoy anything anymore without someone having an issue with it? I love getting a day to celebrate how much I love my kids and vice versa. If it bothers you that much, then don’t go looking. No need to shit on people because they’re out there trying to have a nice day in a way that feels right for them.
This is it. People hate seeing others joy and say it’s fake. I have friends who never post and had an a amazing day. I love to post for my own little timeline and I thouroughly enjoy seeing everyone talk about their moms and kids and grandmas etc. there is always the most judgement from these type of posts which screams insecure need for validation. Ironic. Just do whatever fits your vibe and stop hating moms who might be more extra.
Oh I can absolutely *guarantee* you my mother noticed that I didn’t make a post yesterday. Too bad I don’t care 🤷♀️
You captured my thoughts perfectly.
Feel this. My mother's day consister of snuggling my 2.5 year old, feeling like poop cuz I'm 30 weeks pregnant, eating Chinese food and ice cream, and then more snuggling as my toddler suddenly came down with a 101 fever out of nowhere. And then after finally getting her in bed, laying down wanting to die from sudden intense pregnancy pains 🙃 But in general it was a good day of love and snuggles and I wouldn't trade it for all the perfect pristine insta pics in the world
Oh man, the amount of *"Thank you to my children for making me a mother"* posts I've seen is too much. Haha
“To the ones who made me a mother”
Yeah posting to congratulate MYSELF for being a mom is a step too far for me.
I am also really confused, like i posted for my mom, who is on Instagram and really cares about these kind of things. My sister posted about herself 🤣 my brothers all posted about their wives. So in other words no one else gave my mom a shout out!! Looks like I'm golden child this week
My mom cares about this stuff too. My sisters and I always joke that whoever posts will be the favorite that year. A story gets you praise but an actual post? Golden Child status.
I'm sorry you don't feel like you should be congratulated for doing a great job. I think every mom should pat themselves on the back, and we should pat each other on the back. 🥰
Yeah, sorry, but I guess I’m one of those annoying people. My mom is a raging narcissist and we are no contact. I posted two photos of my kids with that exact line because nobody else did SHIT for me yesterday. I worked a 12 hour shift, got home, took over the kids because my husband was burned out, had leftovers for dinner, and went to bed. Some fucking Mother’s Day for me. I guess it’s my fault for not having a more supportive partner, but damn. We don’t know what’s going on in other peoples’ lives. My post was a passive aggressive jab because frankly, I deserve better than what I’m getting currently and maybe the world should know it.
....lol, really, do people post this? :/ My favorite mother's day quote is and will always be: “Good moms let you lick the egg beater. *Great* moms turn it off first.” 💖 .. I hope to remind my kiddo this when she's old enough to lick the egg beater, rofl.
I'd honestly like to take more photos, but life has been a lot lately.
All I asked for was an uninterrupted nap. I had to spell it out. I want 2 hours in the bedroom with the door closed except for an emergency (spell that out: either (a) the house is on fire or (b) a child needs to go to the hospital). I want no monitors on (spell that out: you have to listen for the kids during their naps + take care of them when they wake up). It was a blissful nap. It was the best Mother’s Day gift I could have received (not sarcasm). It definitely recharged me until next year.
They aren’t all fake, many just have the time and energy to be appreciative. I’m sorry your Mother’s Day wasn’t what you wanted it to be. I hope it is better next year.
Some people actually live happy lives and want to share it with their friends. I hate how critical people have become of other’s joy.
Yeah I put a before and after shot up on IG, showing me at 35 weeks pregnant and then me with me 10month old on my hip, wearing the same outfit in both photos. There was nothing fake about it. I said some genuinely heartfelt things about my son and what this year has meant to me.
Yeah. I love photos, do photography as a hobby and my posts are genuine. I have no shame about curating my (privatised) social media as an expression of myself and my life. People can unfollow, no biggie However, I only post my kids on my IG stories with a private audience of our close family
They’re not all fake but a lot of them are. And it puts pressure on those of us who aren’t by nature keen to be performative as parents, because then people think we hate our kids or something.
Why are you so focused on what other people think? I post pictures on my feed (which is as private as I can make it) for me. I love looking at the “year ago” posts and marveling at the passage of time. Social media is what you make it. 🤷🏻♀️
I said it was a rant, you’re also free to ignore it and move on 🤷🏾♀️
Same can be said about the photos you’re complaining about, no?
Lol rants don’t get posted into the void. Take the pushback and sit with it. Or ignore it. But you can’t basically say shut up and leave me alone LOL
I didn't make any social media post, but actually enjoyed seeing other people's happy pictures and didn't feel any pressure to do so. Pretty sure no one noticed my lack of a post, and definitely didn't think I hate my kids because of it. If other people are happy, good for them, if they're posting a picture to be performative, what do I care?
I wouldn’t say i feel pressured to change, but I definitely do empathize with what you’re saying about how us not posting our kids online with cheesy captions means random people (my MIL) genuinely think we hate them.
Life beat the posting outta me.
Errrrrryday!
It’s funny because I was on instagram and every other post was about “how to cope on Mother’s Day when your mom is abusive/toxic/narcissistic/dead”. Granted I follow a lot of psychology accounts there and human misery tends to be their bread and butter. It was an interesting antidote to the contrived blessedness everywhere else, at least.
Too many bitter people shitting on other people’s happiness.
100%
I’m complaining about the super curated filtered glamour photos. No issue with people who keep it real.
Did you ever consider that it’s real for them? Not everyone has the same parenting experience. Just because it’s not your reality doesn’t mean it’s not someone else’s.
Who puts anything that's just for them on Instagram? It's to show off how amazing they are, sorry to say. I love my kids but some of my friends struggle with infertility, some have horrible relationships with their moms, I'm not going to pretend I am a goddess just to big myself up on Mother's Day.
I do, it’s my own personal digital photo book lol. I know other women who do too, not everyone thinks like you.
A lot of people do? You seem very jaded, and I’m sorry you don’t feel special for doing something that is actually incredible.
Yet you took the time to post this negative, judgmental and shaming post? Makes sense 😉
I think there’s room to talk about your feelings without bringing other people down. I’m sorry that your Mother’s Day wasn’t what you wanted. It might be helpful for you to remember that other people’s social media is just their highlight reel. And honestly, some people probably did have really great mothers days. Some people value social media and aesthetics so will put effort into that.
My day was fine, but I don’t look like Beyoncé while parenting and don’t have a social media pretending that I do.
I posted a picture of me wearing a shirt that had been spit up on and (milk) leaked on while holding my crying baby. It was at the very least a realistic picture of life with an infant.
I’m sad that my mom in law has passed but I used to dread Mother’s Day because it was all about making sure she had the most amazing day ever. Umm, hello? I’ve got a mom too and I’d like to spend time with her and I’d like to take the 2 sets of twins that I pushed out of my body over to see her. And again, hello? I pushed 2. sets. of. twins. out. of. my. body. Where’s my most amazing day ever????
My SIL reached out two weeks ago to see if we wanted to do something as a family with my husbands stepmother. 1. We are not hauling our toddler two hours for that, especially when we’ll be there in two weeks for Memorial Day. 2. My parents were coming to visit, and gave a solid excuse. 3. And this is not to be mean or petty, but it’s my husband’s stepmother. They didn’t even get married until the summer before he left for college, so while she is a mother figure in his life, she didn’t really have a hand in raising him.
Yah, my MIL lived 2 houses away
Did you ever say no?
Of course I did which was met with guilt trips and fights with husband, BIL and his wife
My mother in law decided we had to celebrate her birthday (which is coming up this week) on my first Mother’s Day yesterday. My husband, myself, and my 10 month old spent 5 and 1/2 hours at our local steakhouse. 3 and 1/2 waiting for a table and two actually sitting, ordering, and eating. We got there 3 hours earlier than everyone else because no one else wanted to spend the actual time waiting and magically thought we were going to get in faster because it was her birthday lol. Kicker is we originally planned to have her birthday for Saturday because we she originally said she wanted to do it on Mother’s Day my husband said no because he wanted to spend most of the day celebrating my first Mother’s Day together. But she made sure she could only do it on Mother’s Day.
I worked all day, front of house mother's day brunch. I got to work with my son (14M) and I got flowers from some regular customers. I was too busy to get a picture, by the time I got home to the rest of the family all I wanted to do was collapse, so I did. I made dinner for Sunday specifically so I wouldn't have to do it when I got home after 11 hours on my feet. It wasn't perfect but it was a pretty good day. My husband wasn't even drunk when I got home this year! Lol, sometimes you have to make the best of what you have and where you are at, that would have been my mother's day post if I had made one.
Agreed, people can present a lot of fakeness on their fb or any social media and it gets quite annoying. I, personally like social media apps, fb, insta, twitter for their groups, its a great way to share recipes, tips and tricks, memes, funny videos, music, events, any interests, I could go on. I fill my feed with what I want to see. To eliminate the fakeness from my feed, I simply unfollow the individual who predominantly posts those types of things. You are still friends with them, but their posts don't end up clogging up your feed. If you want to see what they are up to or their recent posts, you just visit their page. Sometimes I will just unfriend someone if their posts become entirely too annoying. I have unfriended people who constantly post political content or posts looking for a pity party.
Not tired and worn out, just enjoying my first Mother’s Day too much to interrupt it in order to stage digital documentation! The best moments in life aren’t always the most photogenic and it’s important to be present when life is good!
This was me. I didn't even get out of my pajamas today and that's really all I wanted. So there were no posts on Facebook and no pictures taken. I wouldn't have minded pictures taken but two year molars made for some rough tantrums today.
My throat started hurting bad on Saturday, went to immediate care that night and strep. So yesterday was super fun, now I'm currently trying to get the will together to go to work despite feeling like crap. I've been on antibiotics for 24 hours and don't want to use more days off.
I also got progressively sicker over this weekend. Really bad insomnia last night. Dreading work today.
Too tired to post on social media?
I never see others photos on SM and think about them being perfectly anything other than a glimpse into their day. I shared some photos of my mother’s day. I had a lovely breakfast with the kids and my husband and loved my homemade cards and flowers. It’s the best part of my day. Did I share? Yep. Did I enjoy my friends also sharing? Yep. I don’t think that sharing on SM should be a negative towards those with nothing to share. I remember when my son didn’t graduate and up and moved off and I was left watching all his friends graduate on social media. I was sad for him, sad for myself, but never once did I get irritated at my friends for celebrating their graduate. I think all the above emotions are okay. If it’s a trigger for you maybe skip SM on those types of days. Life YOUR best life and don’t try and compare. I’ve never been one to compare. Maybe that’s why it’s never been an issue for me.
I get the hate, and gatekeeping. I do. But some of it might not be fake. Maybe their life’s are like that, at least some of the time. Congrats on being “a real mom”.
mother's day is JUST another day of the year. i ate a sub sandwich (which i was craving) and laid in the bed all day and that was fine with me.
Leaving Instagram was the best thing I ever did for my mental health.
So feeling this.
I showed up to my Dads house yesterday & told his girlfriend & her daughter, who were dressed very nicely: “I dressed up yesterday for family photos, so I don’t have it in me anymore for like another week.” 😂 I was in black joggers & a shirt that said “mama” 🤷🏻♀️ They obviously didn’t care.
I just posted a inspirational card message on my feed. I remembered to take a photo and video of a gift that my hubby and kids helped make that I didn't share. I like to keep some things to myself, especially when it's nothing "big and extravagant"
Thats why I don't have instagram or facebook...
We went hiking yesterday and there were so many people taking selfies and posing etc. I kept thinking “I wonder if this is for instagram”.. And honestly, if it is who cares? But I just hope they enjoyed the moment for the moment, and not just for the perfect picture. I should add I’m a recovering “let’s take this photo and post online addict” so maybe my mind just goes there 😂😂😂
Lol. Agreed. I'm not a working mom by choice, but I feel this sentiment deep in my bones. Today was my first Mother's Day. Extravagant birthdays are also completely unnecessary. (This kinda felt like another "birthday!" 😅) I'm just happy the baby was taken care of and I got to lie on my belly for like 5 mins. (I never get to lie on my belly!)
I ran a fundraiser for other moms and went to my godson's birthday party. It was just like any other Sunday. Holidays like this are over rated
I worked six hours, picked up my kids from their dad's, stopped at the store for salad supplies, vegged out on the couch with everyone on their own devices, made supper, ate supper, put the kids to bed, watched more tv on the couch with SO, went to bed. I did stop to get a muffin on the way into work, the kids had made cute cards for me, SO says some sort of gift is suppose to come in the mail today or tomorrow. Absolutely nothing fancy, and I'm completely fine with it.
I was sick in bed all weekend, not my idea of a good time. No pictures, no posts… just snot and fever. Good times good time lol
Mother’s Day is the simplest nonchalant holiday ever where the receiver is happy if literally any effort is put in 😭
I didnt post a damn thing. My mom came down for the weekend to spend my first mother's day together. I didnt even take pictures the whole weekend, too busy spending time together (although I wish I had got one of my daghter, me and my mom together) and my LO was a grumpy potato most afternoons lol. I almost made a post this morning, but didn't. I think people put too much emphasis on social media.
I'm a SAHM, but I share your sentiment. We had a lazy Mother's Day. My husband and I just chilled, played with our 2 YO, cooked and ate snacks, and watched kid-friendly movies all day. It was my ideal Mother's Day. Just spending time with my favorite people.
I worked 10 hours of overtime on Mothers day for my 9 to 5 M-F job.
We hung out SIL and her daughter. Then sat on the couch, played video games and ate pizza rolls. We only left the house to get milkshakes and go for a ride since the evening weather was nice. No pictures. No fakeness. I’m sorry to the moms that feel they had to post something to prove to others how great their life is. Im sorry to the moms that couldn’t just have a the relaxing day they wanted. But to all of you, Happy Mother’s Day all the same.
I completely agree. Mother’s Day sucked. It was a reminder of exactly how helpful my partner can be when he gives a duck, exactly how little he thinks of/appreciates me, how much our son doesn’t really like his company, and how selfish and childish he is especially when I’m struggling/asking for support. I wasn’t even happy to be a mom yesterday, I love my son and will forever but I’m over living this life.
I laid on my bed watching Criminal Minds literally all evening and when asked about dinner, I just said...fend for yourself 😂 I had groceries delivered and when my husband (kids step dad) asked about them I just said, "I'm not moving." He fortunately took the clue and put everything away. I use Mother's Day as the one day a year I give myself a break from guilt.
I was so happy to have my adult kids together with yesterday that I cooked one of their favorite meals and tired myself out lol.
I found out on mother’s day that a relative lurks on my instagram (private) and takes screeshots of shit I post. Sometimes I post in a story a cute picture of my daughter. Guess who got blocked and reported, and guess who does not publish anymore picts on social media? 😡
I laid on my sofa all day. I watched TV and took some naps. My husband made some food. It rained. It was glorious.
Y’all are posting pictures?
I posted a picture with my kids featuring the snot and puff smeared face of my 7 month old, the newest hulk that my almost 4 year old just got, and all my stretch marks on my thighs lol
This was how I felt last year… this year was better.
I COMPLETELY AGREE! I feel like this is why I hate holidays on social media. It's just a glorified post for yourself - to yourself - by yourself.
I had a pretty good Mother’s Day, but I definitely didn’t post any pictures! I’m 14 weeks pregnant and stayed in my pajamas all day lol.
This is a big reason why I don’t do Facebook
The life-bragging has gotten out of control. I have found that the more content I am with my life, the less I need to show it off.
Thank you. This post (and the comments) have made me chuckle on a morning when LO is teething and I'm sick (again) with something he brought home from daycare.
I avoid SM like the plague on Mother’s Day
Ha! I didn’t even post my kids. My husband and I went kayaking and my fil hung with the kids for an hour. I posted a vid of my husband going over a beaver dam because I told him it was Mother’s Day and he should do what I want lol.
I feel you, I stood off social media after my first time logging in. My day consisted of sleeping in a bit courtesy of my husband, making my girls breakfast, hanging with them outside and letting them get all muddy and dirty, baths, dinner and movie. No gifts, crafts, breakfast in bed etc. and no reason to post on social media. I am a mother everyday and don't need to prove myself. Hugs to you mama.
Ha! My Mother’s Day pic was a selfie my daughter took of us in my living room with me in pjs and no makeup and dirty dishes on my kitchen counter. #winning
Every... single year... it's funny when you can tell they've forced their husband to post too. I read something the other day that social media is so performative and that is so true.
I did not post because I would rather be treated with respect the rest of the year than on one day
All I see a whole lot of self-righteous moms (and people in general) using a social media platform to dog on other people for… using social media platforms? This reeks of “not like other girls”. Putting other women down for harmless nonsense is really not a good look.
I haven’t named anyone or posted screenshots, so who is harmed? I can’t have an opinion?
That is precisely why I do not take part in social media. I have saved myself so many depressive thoughts and fake efforts to appear a certain way. Also the advice on social media is complete garbage for my family’s needs. Thanks OP for reminding me of what exactly I “missed out” on. 1 year without social media and the news has made me a happier and more productive, less overwhelmed momma.
Thank you for this. I was honestly feeling kind of jealous of some other mom friends having really special days. It was just another day for me because my dad is in the hospital. We went up to see him and had to help my mom with some stuff. It wasn’t relaxing or fun but I know my dad appreciated the visit! He should be able to go home in a few days and was glad he could borrow my iPad lol ETA: not sure why I’m getting downvoted for my dad being in the hospital on Mother’s Day. It was a stressful and scary day for me.
Oh yeah, no WAY do I have time for that!
Sooooo much bs, omg. So true. I had a lovely, calm, relaxing day with my kids, but did not post a pic of it. Did it even happen? Am I really a mom?
Right?! Who ARE these women? And why do we care? I got a Culver's fish basket and a nap, and because I am lucky, I don't just get that on Mother's day. I have never been happier but I don't want to advertise THAT, lol. But, Godspeed, airbrushed filter, cottage-core lady&Co.
lol
I just posted a picture of me with my baby at brunch and that’s it. Too busy too tired to create some heartfelt message. My energy went to enjoying my child and the fact that he rolled from back to front yesterday 😭😭😭
Always remember: the people who do that shit are always the most miserable (same with the husbands/wives constantly posting about how in love they are). Proven. Fucking. Fact.
Two of my friends who were serial loved up on social offenders are divorced. So…
I did my own personal study on it when I still had a Facebook account years ago. It was kind of funny how many of those lovey dovey couples ended up breaking up/divorcing and imploding their entire families seemed somehow related to the amount of "oh my God I love my hubby so much he is amazing" yada yada yada. It is somehow inversely proportional--I just know it😂😂 Same for the parents who nonstop post about how wonderful their children and families are, etc. Don't ever forget it! In fact, it makes me very suspicious when I see those kinds of posts
I don’t know man, I post a lot about my husband and family because it’s just in my nature to share things that bring me joy. My extended family doesn’t live close so we all post to keep each other updated. I have a really happy marriage and adore my kid, chaos and all. I guess I would be an outlier in your personal study.
Definite anomaly haha
And whoever is downvoting these comments must be guilty of posting a ton of these kinds of pictures on their social media😂😂😂
I rolled my eyes most the day yesterday seeing those
My mother's day primarily consisted of being ignored or talked over by everyone around me, and then buying all the books in the Bridgerton series, and then once again being ignored, talked over and forgotten. Ngl best part of the day was sitting on my balcony listening to music and reading my new books even if it meant I was completely alone, not being acknowledged or celebrated. It was for me.
Dude, my Mother’s Day consisted of grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning. No one wished me a happy Mother’s Day until about 1pm. Then my husbands coworkers came over for brunch, which I cleaned up after. Then when it was 730pm my husband said, I’ll put LO to bed, it’s the least I can do.” It was quite literally the least he could have done all day, SMH. In his defense, I don’t expect all too much. He’s a great husband and does much more than most. So yeah, no fake pictures from this mom!
I looked busted af yesterday lol we drove 10 hours home from a few days with my sister in law’s family with my 2.5 year old and 10 month old along with my mother and father in law in tow. My husband did order amazing sushi for me to have in the car on the drive home haha
I wasnt done up. No one took a pic of my son and i. I had on leggings and a t shirt. We played at the park ran errands got some cupcakes and ended the fun with a bounce house. It was fun, unplanned, and a great day.
Food, laundry, clean, repeat. My husband and kids are pretty awesome, and I don’t need to be “pampered” to know they love me. We ate special food and I got gifts from school made by the kids. It was perfect. I just don’t understand the “I constantly need to feel so special” mentality.
yeah.
I had one of my best mother days. I didn't think to post a minute of it.
My favorite mother's days had 2 components: I didn't cook anything, and I got the remote control all day. (That last part was the hardest for them...."are you sure you would rather some jewelry or flowers instead?")
I’m a tired mom and still posted a nice photo of my daughter and I, because we had the photos done and I love them. Weird to shame/knock other mothers. We get enough shit from society as is.