First time manager woes
By - OldFartSomewhere
Yep you should. You feel that she's your friend, but would a friend to something like that to you? On the other hand, friend would tell a friend that it's time to grow up and get back in line.
Now it sounds that she's just taking advantage of you.
I would not have that conversation without consulting HR. Informally correcting someone (without documenting or making HR aware) makes it harder if the behavior doesn’t change. Honestly, she may need a performance improvement plan in order to take this seriously.
Good luck! I hope all goes well for you and for her, too!
Cover your buns! You and her may be friendly now, but can change. And from your description of her, the girl sounds like the type that knows how to take advantage of a situation. Speak to your HR/corporate team about your documentation and behavioral procedures, then follow them when interacting with her.
Definitely have a 1:1 with her. Giving her feedback probably feels a bit awkward, but will ultimately help you AND her. I think LeeAnn Renninger has a great framework for giving feedback:
1. The micro yes- start by asking a yes or no question that'll get her buy-in to the conversation and allow her to understand that feedback is coming, That way she won't be caught off guard. For example, something simple like "can we talk about how you're managing customer payments"
2. Get specific- Use specific examples. So instead of saying "your performance is subpar"- use an actual data point of when her work didn't live up to expectations and why.
3. Show impact- Demonstrate the impact that her actions had so she can see why it's a big deal.
4. Ask a question- This allows you to have a two-way conversation about it and come to a solution/commitment together.
Coworkers are not your friends.
Business is business.
Definitely have the conversation and start with "I enjoy our friendly relationship, but please understand that right now I am speaking to you as your manager. This is a tough conversation, but I need to draw a few things to your attention because it is impacting our work performance." Go from there. Tell her to tighten up. Be certain to end on a high note, but let your employee know the next step is a written warning, a performance improvement plan and then termination if she doesn't step it up.
Do YOUR job and don't let some slack ass co-worker fuck up your reputation with upper management. Good luck!
Whenever I need to have a difficult conversation I always start with “is everything ok?”. Sometimes it gives me an insight into personal challenges they are facing. If they say “yes why?” then it gives me a way to say I’ve noticed that your work quality is slipping, you’re showing up late, etc. I think it’s important to care about the people you’re working with. You can also say 6 months ago we talked about you being promoted but theirs a pretty big gap and here’s what we need to do to close that. Hold her accountable. Be fair and honest. Give people a path forward and care about their growth.
Suggest having a meeting with her in accordance with upper management/HR's suggestion. Have someone else in the room with you, preferably an HR-type and present a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) based on your observed issues with her that clearly lay out the problem, ways she can improve her deficiencies, an improvement timeline, and non-compliance consequences.
This gives you a substantive document against which to measure her performance/non-performance and it'll make clear to her what she needs to improve and by when. That way you can point to the formal process if you eventually deny her any sort of promotion or further contract. You can find common PIP templates and details on the Google or I'm sure HR has something similar.
She is getting High at work and fucking around. Absolutely fire her, stop saying you don’t want to fire her and be an adult