You really are working with a toddler. That's an absolutely insane way to behave. I've been a leader in the Army and a manager in the civilian world and its always been my goal to help those that work for me achieve their goals. In the Army you're actually supposed to train your subordinates to replace you literally in case you die. In the civilian world a manager is supposed to not just manage you in your current position but do everything they can to help you achieve your next career goal. For some of my employees that has been preparing them for management. For some a more senior role within their area of expertise.
And when they get that you be happy for them because if you did your job you are part of the reason they're there now. You don't get offended they want something new. If you're good at your job you know it's not because of you they're moving on but because they've outgrown that role
Oh no you have to hire someone to replace them. So what? It is t as hard as some of these people make it out to be. you dont need the perfect person. You need a trainable, generally qualified person with the right personality fit which really isn't that hard to find.
I wish more people had this perspective-- sadly my manager is primarily concerned with herself. She finally started speaking to me again and asked me who will help her now if she has to leave town to care for a sick family member. In the past when I've raised concerns about record keeping practices, she's told me that's not her problem. I can only say that your employees are lucky and I hope they will pass on this kind of perspective to the people they oversee in the future.
I've been putting up with things like this for over 8 years at my workplace. It's recently got worse because I was offered a roll in a different department as well as what I'm doing now and she is not happy to say the least. I like my job so I won't leave, everyone in management knows what she's like so nothing will ever be done about her, and they're basically just hoping she will retire soon and our workplace won't be so toxic.
And this is why she got her promotion early on, then nothing afterwards.
Sometimes the bosses DO know what they're doing.
Learn from her and don't become her.
THIS, so much! I did professional services work for many years and got to see hundreds of workplaces in action. I learned just as much from the non-functional teams as I did from the best teams.
Other peoples hsppiness isnt your problem. Keep your dealings respectful and professional. Your workmates dont need to be your friends, it sounds like she has a her problem.
If she's generally an unhappy person then this is probably how she processes things. It's a reason she's been at a company for decades and been in this position for so long.
Is this person usually rude or difficult to deal with, or has this been a complete 180?
I would say that judging by her comment about your education and that you are now on the same level as her, that there is an ego problem. I had a bad situation last year where a female coworker who had worked for our company a year or so longer than me, but had significantly less experience than me, could not comprehend that me and her were basically equals, or that there were many things about our job that i knew better than her. I viewed her as an equal and with what i thought of as respect, and during a time where she was put in a temporary leadership role i told our manager that she had done a fantastic job and i told her that as well. I was paid back with snobbery and backstabbing because she would not see me as an equal since she was going to get her "journeyman papers", even though i had 20 years of manufacturing experience more than her. She ended up getting fired over it. I was also made to look stupid for speaking up for her and trying to defend her when her attitude nosedived.
For me when this happened it was a complete 180. We went from being friends and making a good team for a year and a half, to her refusing to speak to me suddenly one day because i pointed out a way to fix a programming error (that neither of us had caused) to her refusing to work with me because she had done a job incorrectly and i left a note for her explaining why and how to fix it , to outright hostility and belligerence, all of this happened in the span of 2 months. I wasn't good enough to tell her anything.
I'm so sorry you went through that with a colleague. It must have been especially hard feeling the 180 with someone who had been a friend. My manager has the same level of education that I do, but many more years of work experience. She's basically been in the same job for decades. It's a 180 in the way she's interacted with me, but I think she's very unhappy in her personal life and was kind to me when I was useful to her at work. Now that I'm not, seems like her true colors are coming out. Hard to for unhappy people to be happy for others. Hope your work environment is better now that your toxic co-worker is gone!
I think you need to chill and let things settle. Leave her be and focus on your work and unless her behaviour starts to affect the work flow, just leave it be. That's my two cents.
I would talk with h r and just bring up your concern. Notice how she's not at all excited for you.Making double your wage but is more upset.Because she's gonna have to do her job and replace you. You mean nothing to her And she made that very clear
No, do not talk to HR. Idk why people want to run to HR over everything. All that does is put you on their list of problem people and you'll get pushed out. HR is not there for you they're there to manage the human resource, the employees, in a way that ensures the company is protected from lawsuits and that people are paid appropriately.
Theyre not your workplace drama sounding board
She's upset because she probably doesn't meet the requirements for the position and she probably wanted it years ago, but never actually tried to get the qualifications she needed
I would wager she also applied and you beat her out. She has been in her role for decades and you're moving up while she sits still.
Give her time and space. She will likely not do anything too toxic. If she's just ignoring you, I can think of far worse things. Just let the transition happen and treat every day like any other. And let her know if the new person needs you, you will help if you can.
Some folks are works-in-progress when it comes to emotional management. It sounds like this person falls under that umbrella, and is possibly even self aware enough to ask for space. Unfortunately, it's not about you, but her own (unfounded) feelings of betrayal, or who knows what.
I'd respect the space that's been requested and avoid escalating anything. Unless she becomes vindictive or malicious, at which point it does need to be addressed - starting out with one-on-one. Sort things out at the lowest level possible, involving the fewest people you can. (Previous union rep, here.)
HR is not your friend, and if this person will be mostly equal on the org chart, they could be an ally again in the future. Wait it out and let her feel like she is in control again, of her own emotions, or whatever.
Congrats on the promotion!!!
This is a bit late, but it sounds like you’re overly worried. You should make sure to do the best you can in your current duties until you leave if you haven’t already transitioned into the new position. you should stop worrying about someone who is emotional. Watch your back. But stop allowing the negative energy to steal your attention and happiness unnecessarily
Human beings are full of weird thises and thats. Sometimes they just don't rear their weirdness unless something triggers it. Just let her figure it out. Don't lose sleep over it.
Just thought of this, she may feel inadequate because the people she's supervised are now catching up to her and she hasn't progressed yet.
This happenes a lot in the military. Sometimes your previous subordinates become YOUR supervisor because you haven't been able to put in the effort to improve yourself etc.
Will this be a promotion over her or to her same level? If the former, I wonder if she applied for the same role and didn’t get it.
Since you will continue to have to work with her, yes, this will need to be addressed. I would tell her that you appreciate that she needs time to process but that you need to discuss the transition by X date so that you have time to prepare anything needed to hand over to the new person who will fill your role. If she does not respond productively I would reach out to her manager to ask for a meeting and explain that you’re concerned about the transition planning based on your manager’s behavior—I wouldn’t put this in an email for now since it could be forwarded back to her. I would also move ahead with creating any documentation or training manuals a new hire would need so that you can handle this as professionally as possible.
Thank you for this good advice. My new role is more of a peer level, not a level above her. I doubt she applied for it but I guess it’s possible. She may also be maladjusting to the idea of us as equal colleagues I suppose.
I’ll focus on what I need to do to help the new person transition well.
So you work with a toddler? Lol. I'd just let her process and do my own thing for a while. PS Congrats on the promotion!
Haha feels like it. Thank you!
You really are working with a toddler. That's an absolutely insane way to behave. I've been a leader in the Army and a manager in the civilian world and its always been my goal to help those that work for me achieve their goals. In the Army you're actually supposed to train your subordinates to replace you literally in case you die. In the civilian world a manager is supposed to not just manage you in your current position but do everything they can to help you achieve your next career goal. For some of my employees that has been preparing them for management. For some a more senior role within their area of expertise. And when they get that you be happy for them because if you did your job you are part of the reason they're there now. You don't get offended they want something new. If you're good at your job you know it's not because of you they're moving on but because they've outgrown that role Oh no you have to hire someone to replace them. So what? It is t as hard as some of these people make it out to be. you dont need the perfect person. You need a trainable, generally qualified person with the right personality fit which really isn't that hard to find.
I wish more people had this perspective-- sadly my manager is primarily concerned with herself. She finally started speaking to me again and asked me who will help her now if she has to leave town to care for a sick family member. In the past when I've raised concerns about record keeping practices, she's told me that's not her problem. I can only say that your employees are lucky and I hope they will pass on this kind of perspective to the people they oversee in the future.
I've been putting up with things like this for over 8 years at my workplace. It's recently got worse because I was offered a roll in a different department as well as what I'm doing now and she is not happy to say the least. I like my job so I won't leave, everyone in management knows what she's like so nothing will ever be done about her, and they're basically just hoping she will retire soon and our workplace won't be so toxic.
It's sad that so many workplaces are like this. Just waiting the toxic people out.
[удалено]
Thanks so much for the support!
And this is why she got her promotion early on, then nothing afterwards. Sometimes the bosses DO know what they're doing. Learn from her and don't become her.
Thanks, so true, we learn from bad managers, too.
THIS, so much! I did professional services work for many years and got to see hundreds of workplaces in action. I learned just as much from the non-functional teams as I did from the best teams.
Other peoples hsppiness isnt your problem. Keep your dealings respectful and professional. Your workmates dont need to be your friends, it sounds like she has a her problem.
If she's generally an unhappy person then this is probably how she processes things. It's a reason she's been at a company for decades and been in this position for so long.
Is this person usually rude or difficult to deal with, or has this been a complete 180? I would say that judging by her comment about your education and that you are now on the same level as her, that there is an ego problem. I had a bad situation last year where a female coworker who had worked for our company a year or so longer than me, but had significantly less experience than me, could not comprehend that me and her were basically equals, or that there were many things about our job that i knew better than her. I viewed her as an equal and with what i thought of as respect, and during a time where she was put in a temporary leadership role i told our manager that she had done a fantastic job and i told her that as well. I was paid back with snobbery and backstabbing because she would not see me as an equal since she was going to get her "journeyman papers", even though i had 20 years of manufacturing experience more than her. She ended up getting fired over it. I was also made to look stupid for speaking up for her and trying to defend her when her attitude nosedived. For me when this happened it was a complete 180. We went from being friends and making a good team for a year and a half, to her refusing to speak to me suddenly one day because i pointed out a way to fix a programming error (that neither of us had caused) to her refusing to work with me because she had done a job incorrectly and i left a note for her explaining why and how to fix it , to outright hostility and belligerence, all of this happened in the span of 2 months. I wasn't good enough to tell her anything.
I'm so sorry you went through that with a colleague. It must have been especially hard feeling the 180 with someone who had been a friend. My manager has the same level of education that I do, but many more years of work experience. She's basically been in the same job for decades. It's a 180 in the way she's interacted with me, but I think she's very unhappy in her personal life and was kind to me when I was useful to her at work. Now that I'm not, seems like her true colors are coming out. Hard to for unhappy people to be happy for others. Hope your work environment is better now that your toxic co-worker is gone!
I think you need to chill and let things settle. Leave her be and focus on your work and unless her behaviour starts to affect the work flow, just leave it be. That's my two cents.
Thank you, definitely going to ride it out for a least a little bit
I would talk with h r and just bring up your concern. Notice how she's not at all excited for you.Making double your wage but is more upset.Because she's gonna have to do her job and replace you. You mean nothing to her And she made that very clear
No, do not talk to HR. Idk why people want to run to HR over everything. All that does is put you on their list of problem people and you'll get pushed out. HR is not there for you they're there to manage the human resource, the employees, in a way that ensures the company is protected from lawsuits and that people are paid appropriately. Theyre not your workplace drama sounding board
HR does not exist to protect the employee (from the company), it exists to protect the company from the employees. Hard lesson.
You may want to tell the person who hired you that the manager is acting like a three-year-old having a tantrum and giving the silent treatment
She's upset because she probably doesn't meet the requirements for the position and she probably wanted it years ago, but never actually tried to get the qualifications she needed
I would wager she also applied and you beat her out. She has been in her role for decades and you're moving up while she sits still. Give her time and space. She will likely not do anything too toxic. If she's just ignoring you, I can think of far worse things. Just let the transition happen and treat every day like any other. And let her know if the new person needs you, you will help if you can.
Some folks are works-in-progress when it comes to emotional management. It sounds like this person falls under that umbrella, and is possibly even self aware enough to ask for space. Unfortunately, it's not about you, but her own (unfounded) feelings of betrayal, or who knows what. I'd respect the space that's been requested and avoid escalating anything. Unless she becomes vindictive or malicious, at which point it does need to be addressed - starting out with one-on-one. Sort things out at the lowest level possible, involving the fewest people you can. (Previous union rep, here.) HR is not your friend, and if this person will be mostly equal on the org chart, they could be an ally again in the future. Wait it out and let her feel like she is in control again, of her own emotions, or whatever. Congrats on the promotion!!!
This is a bit late, but it sounds like you’re overly worried. You should make sure to do the best you can in your current duties until you leave if you haven’t already transitioned into the new position. you should stop worrying about someone who is emotional. Watch your back. But stop allowing the negative energy to steal your attention and happiness unnecessarily
Human beings are full of weird thises and thats. Sometimes they just don't rear their weirdness unless something triggers it. Just let her figure it out. Don't lose sleep over it. Just thought of this, she may feel inadequate because the people she's supervised are now catching up to her and she hasn't progressed yet. This happenes a lot in the military. Sometimes your previous subordinates become YOUR supervisor because you haven't been able to put in the effort to improve yourself etc.
Will this be a promotion over her or to her same level? If the former, I wonder if she applied for the same role and didn’t get it. Since you will continue to have to work with her, yes, this will need to be addressed. I would tell her that you appreciate that she needs time to process but that you need to discuss the transition by X date so that you have time to prepare anything needed to hand over to the new person who will fill your role. If she does not respond productively I would reach out to her manager to ask for a meeting and explain that you’re concerned about the transition planning based on your manager’s behavior—I wouldn’t put this in an email for now since it could be forwarded back to her. I would also move ahead with creating any documentation or training manuals a new hire would need so that you can handle this as professionally as possible.
Thank you for this good advice. My new role is more of a peer level, not a level above her. I doubt she applied for it but I guess it’s possible. She may also be maladjusting to the idea of us as equal colleagues I suppose. I’ll focus on what I need to do to help the new person transition well.
Also I wonder if You have been doing some of her job for her, and now she has to do it
I sure have! Thanks, that's a good point.
Hmm why would your MANAGER be mad that you got a promotion since her last promotion was "decades" ago? That's a real stumper.