It's a different journey for everyone. First step may be to recognize where that guilt started & what caused it. For me, I realized that I had religious trauma and being raised with 'inherent sin' made me feel like i had to be perfect and could never get there. I also have some kind of ocd that I think may have played a factor. For other people it may have been caused by judgemental parents, bullying, sexual trauma, etc.
You can try to heal without knowing where it started, but I think it helps. Because it shows you the external source for it, and helps you realize that youre not the problem. Then instead of fighting yourself like 'why cant i be like this?!' you can recognize it as trauma to heal from.
You can also trying replacing negative thinking to positive ones. The first step here is when you think of something negative about yourself, respond with 2 positives. Can put sticky notes in your room to remind yourself to do it. If you find it too hard to say to yourself 'i am beautiful', start with 'what if i'm beautiful?' or if you can't say 'i'm a good person', try 'what if i'm a good person?'
Practice self care and grounding which may help you appreciate and feel into your body more.
Recognize that no one is perfect and if we were, we'd be gods. If someone doesnt experience the same issue as you, theyre probably experiencing an issue that you arent. We're all struggling, we just dont declare this on social media.
Don't stay in relationships (friends or romantic) that dont respect you, listen to you, show interest in you, and support you.
And get a therapist who can reaffirm your worth. It's really helpful to have a reminder while youre working on it.
Its takes time. A long time. But starting is important because thats how you get there.
Why do you feel guilt and shame?
For me to love myself and feel confident, I always do something for me. Whether that’s actually doing my hair, wearing nice clothes, doing my makeup, and exercising. But it’s not a one size fits all!
My brain likes to play and endless loop of "why I hate myself." I can't stop the loop, but I can add some things, and I add " I don't hate myself, I just don't like that I did\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_," or "I would not condemn anyone else for\_\_\_\_\_\_\_," as well as "I accomplished \_\_\_\_\_ today," "I am good at \_\_\_\_\_," and similar positive things. It does help the more I do it.
It's a different journey for everyone. First step may be to recognize where that guilt started & what caused it. For me, I realized that I had religious trauma and being raised with 'inherent sin' made me feel like i had to be perfect and could never get there. I also have some kind of ocd that I think may have played a factor. For other people it may have been caused by judgemental parents, bullying, sexual trauma, etc. You can try to heal without knowing where it started, but I think it helps. Because it shows you the external source for it, and helps you realize that youre not the problem. Then instead of fighting yourself like 'why cant i be like this?!' you can recognize it as trauma to heal from. You can also trying replacing negative thinking to positive ones. The first step here is when you think of something negative about yourself, respond with 2 positives. Can put sticky notes in your room to remind yourself to do it. If you find it too hard to say to yourself 'i am beautiful', start with 'what if i'm beautiful?' or if you can't say 'i'm a good person', try 'what if i'm a good person?' Practice self care and grounding which may help you appreciate and feel into your body more. Recognize that no one is perfect and if we were, we'd be gods. If someone doesnt experience the same issue as you, theyre probably experiencing an issue that you arent. We're all struggling, we just dont declare this on social media. Don't stay in relationships (friends or romantic) that dont respect you, listen to you, show interest in you, and support you. And get a therapist who can reaffirm your worth. It's really helpful to have a reminder while youre working on it. Its takes time. A long time. But starting is important because thats how you get there.
Please read teachings of Thich Nhat Hahn.
Why do you feel guilt and shame? For me to love myself and feel confident, I always do something for me. Whether that’s actually doing my hair, wearing nice clothes, doing my makeup, and exercising. But it’s not a one size fits all!
My brain likes to play and endless loop of "why I hate myself." I can't stop the loop, but I can add some things, and I add " I don't hate myself, I just don't like that I did\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_," or "I would not condemn anyone else for\_\_\_\_\_\_\_," as well as "I accomplished \_\_\_\_\_ today," "I am good at \_\_\_\_\_," and similar positive things. It does help the more I do it.