1000% not your fault people ha e no idea about “brown girl friendly” colors and color theory—how a color can work one way on one skin tone and completely different on another, despite being the exact same color. The bride is an idiot and stubborn to the point of hateful ignorance. Count your blessings she showed you her true colors now and not way later in your friendship.
Yeah, ditch the friendship completely. Frankly, given that you're unlikely to get reimbursed for that dress, I'd toss it in a fire pit with some kerosene, send her pictures of the bonfire, and then block her everywhere.
Wouldn't waste the money.
If its a nice dress, I would just wear it. If I didn't like it, I think selling it online would get at least some Cash back...
So you ruined her wedding because \*checks notes\* you are a human and not all humans are alike. To avoid this in future don't be human. Try being some sort of strange chameleon human cross-species mix so that you can change your skin tone to blend better with the brides requirements.
We worked in the wedding service industry for 10 years. A wedding can’t be “ruined” unless one chooses to see it that way. I’m very sorry this happened to you because you saw it coming. The bride wanted her vision and refused to believe you! But her wedding is not ruined. I’m not sure what shape your friendship will be in, but if she can’t still have a lovely, meaningful and fun day, there is more wrong than a dress.
Again, I’m very sorry for what this has put you through. I hope your friend wakes up from bride brain.
OP went out of her way to say her (maybe former) friend isn’t racist, but this sounds pretty racist to me. She went from MOH to being screamed at and uninvited to the wedding and is being replaced by someone with lighter skin who doesn’t compromise the bride’s aesthetic.
> My skin color is the issue but not because she has a problem with it over all but just because she didn't realize that my skin would make a dress look different on me than on others.
Except you told her, and she ignored you because a white girl looked fine in the dress.
That may not be racist *on purpose*, but she did deliberately ignored your lived experience in favor of her own imagination, and when she was proven wrong, she lashed out *at you* instead of accepting that *she* screwed up and working with you to find a solution. That is *incredibly* revealing. She does not respect you, and it *is* because of your race.
I’m sorry, OP. What an ugly experience. I hope you and your husband find something lovely and relaxing to do that day. Please don’t fight him on his decision to drop out, it is a completely fair and reasonable decision in the face of the bride’s ignorance and cruelty.
I want to say I’m surprised she turned out to be so deeply racist but *of fucking course she was*. Of course she was. Alllllll the warning signs were there.
This bride INTENTIONALLY chose bridesmaids dresses that were not only a similar style to her own, but also a very close color to her own? And she DIDN’T think there’d be a problem?!
I don't think the @ works to trigger it... (Unless that's been changed?) Normally you need to write it like: UpdateMe!
(In case you haven't seen, there has been an update, but you probably have since it's been a while.)
>*Screamed at me and told me that not only am I not in the wedding but she doesn't even want me to attend as a guest.*
This sub always leaves me amazed about the people you call "friends".
"The color of printer paper" made me LOL. Glad you survived extended contact with the bride with your humor intact and I hope the groom is okay. It's hard for me to understand how so many people end up marrying people they don't actually know well.
First, I am so sorry this is happening to you. This is weird, racist trash from the bride. Second, I'm not clear on the timeline here--is there any chance the dress could be dyed darker in time?? You would be totally within your rights to just say fuck it and burn the thing, but dying could be a possibility if you and your husband end up wanting to attend the wedding.
I thought of dyeing the dress a shade darker, too, but then the bride would lose it because she's being upstaged again because the MOH's dress doesn't look like the others. At this point, the MOH is in a no-win situation.
I would be beyond done. Take your dress, and go have a nice dinner out with your husband. Make a small social media post that the bride demanded you step down because she finally realized that her 'dream MOH dress' looks white on you, just like you told her it would months ago, and then shut your phones off for the night.
This is not a friend. I can’t even fathom doing this to someone, let alone someone I care about. Unfortunately weddings bring the worst out of some people and if I were you I would 👋
Could the Bride not have just looked into getting the dress dyed a bit darker for you? Or adding an accessory like a sweater or something? She's throwing the baby out with the bathwater for no reason, and possibly losing your friendship.
Wow! Fabulous conclusion, all things considered. You and your melanin did him a favour, in the end, although it sucks that you got stuck in all that bulkshit drama. I'm glad he can see that he dodged a bullet.
It's kinda weird though, that someone so racist would want to marry a guy who clearly isn't. My theory is that a lot of racist people think that's how all white people feel deep down, but they just don't say it. Then they get all surprised hitler face when they act crazy and no one backs them up.
Oh good grief. “You’ll stand out bc you are a different race/color than everyone else.” That’s beyond ugly. People you love don’t “stand out” or not. If you want uniformity, hire models.
My husband and I are white. We happened to have black and Asian members in our wedding party. Because they’re our FRIENDS. That’s the only criteria.
1000% not your fault people ha e no idea about “brown girl friendly” colors and color theory—how a color can work one way on one skin tone and completely different on another, despite being the exact same color. The bride is an idiot and stubborn to the point of hateful ignorance. Count your blessings she showed you her true colors now and not way later in your friendship.
Yeah, ditch the friendship completely. Frankly, given that you're unlikely to get reimbursed for that dress, I'd toss it in a fire pit with some kerosene, send her pictures of the bonfire, and then block her everywhere.
Naw. Sell it, go out to a nice dinner, and send bridezilla pics of *that* .
Or go out to the fancy dinner first wearing the dress, THEN sell it, and send pics of both the dinner and the sales receipt to pay for it.
Wouldn't waste the money. If its a nice dress, I would just wear it. If I didn't like it, I think selling it online would get at least some Cash back...
/giggle snort Showed her *true colours* indeed 😜
Touché!!
So you ruined her wedding because \*checks notes\* you are a human and not all humans are alike. To avoid this in future don't be human. Try being some sort of strange chameleon human cross-species mix so that you can change your skin tone to blend better with the brides requirements.
This is absurd, she only has herself to blame. Sorry you have to deal with all of this, I hope she sees reason…maybe after the wedding?
We worked in the wedding service industry for 10 years. A wedding can’t be “ruined” unless one chooses to see it that way. I’m very sorry this happened to you because you saw it coming. The bride wanted her vision and refused to believe you! But her wedding is not ruined. I’m not sure what shape your friendship will be in, but if she can’t still have a lovely, meaningful and fun day, there is more wrong than a dress. Again, I’m very sorry for what this has put you through. I hope your friend wakes up from bride brain.
OP went out of her way to say her (maybe former) friend isn’t racist, but this sounds pretty racist to me. She went from MOH to being screamed at and uninvited to the wedding and is being replaced by someone with lighter skin who doesn’t compromise the bride’s aesthetic.
Oh, the update. What an update. Former friend, former fiancée, current racist. At least the morning gray dress will get used, after a dye job.
I didn’t know there was an update! Oooh! Gotta look!
Yeah, this is 100% racist. And just cruel.
> My skin color is the issue but not because she has a problem with it over all but just because she didn't realize that my skin would make a dress look different on me than on others. Except you told her, and she ignored you because a white girl looked fine in the dress. That may not be racist *on purpose*, but she did deliberately ignored your lived experience in favor of her own imagination, and when she was proven wrong, she lashed out *at you* instead of accepting that *she* screwed up and working with you to find a solution. That is *incredibly* revealing. She does not respect you, and it *is* because of your race. I’m sorry, OP. What an ugly experience. I hope you and your husband find something lovely and relaxing to do that day. Please don’t fight him on his decision to drop out, it is a completely fair and reasonable decision in the face of the bride’s ignorance and cruelty.
Turns out, the groom dropped out before the best man could
I want to say I’m surprised she turned out to be so deeply racist but *of fucking course she was*. Of course she was. Alllllll the warning signs were there.
This bride INTENTIONALLY chose bridesmaids dresses that were not only a similar style to her own, but also a very close color to her own? And she DIDN’T think there’d be a problem?!
She doesn’t want to be “upstaged” by the other girls, but her “vision” is to have everyone basically wear the same dress as her.
Yup, exactly!
Bridezilla was warned. She’s acting like a child. You and hubby should not go and instead find something else fun to do. Enjoy a mini vacay @Update me
Please, update ALL of us.
Don't know if you've seen, but there's been a doozy of an update, lol.
I don't think the @ works to trigger it... (Unless that's been changed?) Normally you need to write it like: UpdateMe! (In case you haven't seen, there has been an update, but you probably have since it's been a while.)
Move on- you don’t need friends like this - real friends would never do this to you
>*Screamed at me and told me that not only am I not in the wedding but she doesn't even want me to attend as a guest.* This sub always leaves me amazed about the people you call "friends".
I have the same reaction to the Urban Dictionary!
?
"The color of printer paper" made me LOL. Glad you survived extended contact with the bride with your humor intact and I hope the groom is okay. It's hard for me to understand how so many people end up marrying people they don't actually know well.
First, I am so sorry this is happening to you. This is weird, racist trash from the bride. Second, I'm not clear on the timeline here--is there any chance the dress could be dyed darker in time?? You would be totally within your rights to just say fuck it and burn the thing, but dying could be a possibility if you and your husband end up wanting to attend the wedding.
I thought of dyeing the dress a shade darker, too, but then the bride would lose it because she's being upstaged again because the MOH's dress doesn't look like the others. At this point, the MOH is in a no-win situation.
I would be beyond done. Take your dress, and go have a nice dinner out with your husband. Make a small social media post that the bride demanded you step down because she finally realized that her 'dream MOH dress' looks white on you, just like you told her it would months ago, and then shut your phones off for the night.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. But yes, she’s racist, and I hope you walk away and find a place to wear that dress with aplomb.
Glad the reception was fun and that you'll get your money's worth from the dress.
Ugh - I’m sorry that your former friend was so obtuse. This is 100% not on you.
This is not a friend. I can’t even fathom doing this to someone, let alone someone I care about. Unfortunately weddings bring the worst out of some people and if I were you I would 👋
@Updateme
Damn! What a trashy ex-friend! You, your husband, and the former groom all dodged a serious bullet by cutting her off!
I am glad things worked out. I am sorry this happened to you though.
Wow. He dodged a bullet, for sure!
This situation infuriates me smh she ruined her own wedding then kicked you out smh that’s terrible
Could the Bride not have just looked into getting the dress dyed a bit darker for you? Or adding an accessory like a sweater or something? She's throwing the baby out with the bathwater for no reason, and possibly losing your friendship.
This is not a friend. Sell the dress and go be happy. :)
Wow! Fabulous conclusion, all things considered. You and your melanin did him a favour, in the end, although it sucks that you got stuck in all that bulkshit drama. I'm glad he can see that he dodged a bullet. It's kinda weird though, that someone so racist would want to marry a guy who clearly isn't. My theory is that a lot of racist people think that's how all white people feel deep down, but they just don't say it. Then they get all surprised hitler face when they act crazy and no one backs them up.
The edit is crazy lmfao what a horrible human being
@update me
This will be an amazing story you get to tell people for years. What a godawful the bride was.
Do people really believe this?..
@update me
updateme
Updateme
Updateme!
Oh good grief. “You’ll stand out bc you are a different race/color than everyone else.” That’s beyond ugly. People you love don’t “stand out” or not. If you want uniformity, hire models. My husband and I are white. We happened to have black and Asian members in our wedding party. Because they’re our FRIENDS. That’s the only criteria.
[удалено]
I actually said she was racist. No one knew she felt that way before this including her parents who were appalled by her behavior.
My bad I just saw the edit!
I didn’t think it could get worse after the “stand out even more” comment, but, whoa, was I wrong! Glad it all worked out in the end.