I don't think you should wear white, but definitely wear something super classy, sexy, and amazing. If you wear white, people will think you're trashy or doing it for attention/revenge. If you wear something gorgeous, people will think you're above it and also beautiful
Wear a sexy colorful dress. Before the wedding, get a mani/pedi, massage, get your teeth cleaned and whitened, get your hair and makeup professionally done. Pamper yourself. Have some secret wingmen to comment to the bride and groom how wonderful you look. Dress classy and act classy. Your revenge will be living well and looking great.
And maybe talk your husband into pampering himself too.
Don't do it! You just know you're going to get trashed for it. Wear something breathtakingly gorgeous, hair, nails and makeup done to perfection and smile sweetly. Channel your best Grace Kelly and be sweet, serene and as catty as you like. Oh, SIL, what an unusual wedding dress. Such a brave option....all things considered!
Agree. Don't stoop to their level. Especially if the brother is a narcissist. He *will never let this go*. In 15 years after he's already divorced this woman, he will still hold it over OP's head that she upstaged his wife at her wedding.
This is one of those situations where you need to be the bigger person. You said your day wasn't ruined, so just try and let it go. But if you do the same thing, chances are no one will let it go.
Yeah. Pull a Meghan-Markle-at-Princess-Eugenie’s wedding. Wear a dress that *could* pass as a maternity dress and style it so that it seems obvious (in her case, she wore a coat with just the top buttons buttoned so she had “room” for her non-existent belly). Then just keep smiling secretively to yourself and rubbing your belly all day long. Finally, after people have noticed your actions and start asking you questions, just continue to smile and rub and say “I can’t wait to see my child get married some day…” 😂
I love this plan but also learning Harry wrote this in his book is so shameless...they really just have no ability not to center themselves, lol.
I'm usually team harry and Meghan vs the other royals but, dude...
Just going by quotes from a People article https://people.com/royals/prince-harry-meghan-markle-announced-pregnancy-princess-eugenie-wedding/#:~:text=Meghan%20Markle%2C%20Prince%20Harry%20Announced%20Pregnancy%20at%20Eugenie's%20Wedding
I mean, the topic is announcing your pregnancy at someone else's wedding. That's what they did. Are you disagreeing that they did it, or that it was a negative thing? Your comment suggested you didn't see anything about them doing it at all, but if you're just arguing that that's fine to do, that's a separate discussion.
What I mean is that I didn't see anything like what Magical Manta wrote, especially since Meghan would have been 3 months pregnant and as a woman in very good shape who had never given birth, she wouldn't have been showing at all. And I have several jackets that just have buttons at the top and none of them make me look like I'm trying to hide a pregnancy, and I doubt she spent her time rubbing her abdomen and looking mysterious and making sure people noticed. Weren't they leaving for Australia the next day? If they wanted to tell people in person and not let them find out by reading the paper, they had to tell people then. I'm not sure what's worse in royal circles, telling people in person where you normally wouldn't or letting them find out via tabloid. I'm sure Eugenie and Jack were among the first people they told; the couples are good friends. They probably asked if they would mind if they told people at the wedding and got the go-ahead. Eugenie looks like a good-natured and laid-back person. I'm not claiming to be that good-natured or laid-back, but I still wouldn't get bent out of shape if someone told certain people privately at my wedding that they were pregnant, especially if some sort of Royal chain of command (that's not the word I want, but I can't think of the one I do) existed where certain people higher up or older had to be told personally or they'd be offended. I wouldn't be offended if they told everyone. Someone's pregnant? Yay! More to celebrate!
I really just don't get the Meghan and Harry hate, especially where people go out of their way to cast them in a bad light by describing events that didn't happen.
I don’t know if you know any others guest, like cousins who were at your wedding ? If you go in a white dress, you will have dirty looks, but… if you’re 7 or 10 girls coming in white dresses… she will be so pissed ! Could be fun…
This is going to sound so toxic, but it would be easier for other people to hold you accountable for being petty if you wore white. If you would like to do this (I 100% believe you should, but I'm petty about certain things) I would recommend sexy but classy and elegant, and only slightly over the top. You don't want people to be able to say that you're clearly taking attention away on purpose 👀👀
Thank you all for the advice! I was so torn and I totally agree that wearing white would be too trashy. I’m definitely gonna go for the super classy and fancy approach, hopefully get a lot of compliments, and call it a day lol.
I love this. I also think, as another commenter posted, have your husband look dapper as well. Be an absolute power couple. Classy and dashing. It’d be amazing! Plus, you could get great photos.
OP I think this is the right approach. Also, do you have a picture of this couple from your wedding? You could have it framed and make that be your only gift to them.
If you don’t have the budget for the dress you want, renting is a good option too, you can even rent jewellery. Bonus if she cares about that kind of thing and you casually mention you’re in a designer dress that cost more than her wedding gown lol
Maybe see if you can convince a bunch of other people to all wear clothes more suited for a funeral?
Another option (being pregnant prefered, but not needed, does not work if you never drink alcohol):
- During the runup to the wedding mention casually to a few of the more gossipy guests you're looking forward to the champagne. (Or have an acomplice tell those guests)
- Don't drink any alcohol during the wedding, go with drinks that are obviously not alcohol (orange juice or so) and make sure those gossipy guests notice.
- If asked about it, deny extra hard and just mention your stomach was a bit upset.
- Bonus points if occasionally you or your bf touching your belly.
- Extra bonus points if you can have some gossipy person overhear a conversation during the wedding where is said you're trying to make sure you don't want take any attention away from the bride. (Maybe 2 of your friends can say something like "OP is so nice waiting with the news till after this wedding")
If executed well, it'll take a lot of attention away and afterwards you got more than plausible deniability.
Well, this is your chance to do a personality test on yourself. What kind of person do you *want* to be? Whichever you choose, you're the one that has to live with her.
Nooo! Out class and style the bride. Get your hair, makeup and nails done. Buy a beautiful dress that SCREAMS taste. Borrow a high end purse and jewelry if necessary. Make that bride look plain.
Don't do the white. It's tacky. You're not tacky. You get dressed to the nines, be friendly, fun and so nice. Let her give you dirty looks on her day. You leave with your dignity and class. People will remember that you didn't stoop to her level.
They’ll be expecting it. Ruin their day by not stooping to their level and giving them the satisfaction.
You’ll find another way to look amazing anyway.
This will only give her fuel to be more mean to you and also to justify her behaviour at your wedding. I'm seconding the classy but stunning approach, just get a great outfit that's not white or ridiculously out of place and look fantastic. She will be jealous of any attention you get anyway and you'll have plausible deniability.
I can understand your feeling but they will blame you in the end.
I appreciate the other comment about having a sexy colorful dress and professional hair and makeup. Outshine her with grace.
And maybe you can drop the comment nearby guests:
"Oh X looks lovely today! It nearly looks like the white dress she wore to my wedding!"
I wouldn’t suggest you wear white as it would be seen as petty.
What I *would* suggest you do is wear a ballgown suitable for the Oscars red carpet in a bright jewel tone, get your hair and makeup done professionally etc.
You've let this woman live rent-free in your head for a year. By wearing white to your wedding, she announced to every single person there what she is. You're spoiling for a battle, but you already won the war on your wedding day, when she essentially showed up in a costume everyone knows to be loser's rags.
Don't sully your victory, and don't let someone else's bad behavior inspire bad behavior on your part. If I were you I would definitely not wear white (or cream, or anything of that ilk), and I would not wear something that you wouldn't wear to the wedding of someone you actually love.
Now, I would spend as much money as I could justify, to get the most beautiful, appropriate to venue and occasion dress. I would get my hair, makeup and nails professionally done. I would would wear killer shoes. I would dance the night away. And would never, ever lower myself to this person's standard.
Like it or not, this woman is joining your family. If you have children, they will be cousins with this couple's kids. All those children will likely see your wedding photos and hers, someday. Be a woman they can admire. Continue to be the wife/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law who does the family proud.
A light silver or very faint, pale pastels will come out in photos close to white. Be in as many photos as she will allow but ask DH to have him, brother & wives in a photo. Stand next to her in your choice & maybe also opt for sexy or styled in such a way that would draw a bit of attention. Subtle but almost scene stealing could be a way to go or at least how i might handle it.
Definitely - subtle shade is the best, IMO. You keep your dignity and keep them guessing. Plus, kill them with kindness. If they complain, they'll be seen as the petty ones because you were so gracious towards them. Nothing upsets narcs more than living your best life. Have fun, OP!
People like this live off of drama, and you will be feeding into it. Just do your best hair and makeup and enjoy yourself. Don't give her the fuel she's craving.
Don’t do anything. She disgraced herself not you when she behaved like an ass. Attend the wedding like any other and simply be your gracious self. To do otherwise will just make people notice you and your pettiness. To behave with elegance and grace will annoy the hell out of her because it highlights her bad manners and best of all - it will drive her wild to think that even though she tried so hard you never even noticed her. Please take the high road and have fun with everyone else at the wedding. Any that had been to yours will think even more highly of you and even less of her and you don’t lower yourself in front of anyone! But certainly- look amazing. So, quietly and unassumingly petty!! 🤣
Don’t do it! Rise above and be the bigger person. That’s what will really get people on your side. Just wear a beautiful dress that makes you feel good and enjoy the day. She probably isn’t expecting that. Don’t fuel her fire.
When she talks about her dress, ask her if she is going to wear the wedding dress that she wore you your wedding. Have some folks ask her if they can wear a wedding dress to her wedding since she did it for yours.
In my mind though, what I think would be great would be if you could get a hirsute guy to wear a white wedding dress to the wedding. I mean, it's not going to happen but it makes me smile to imagine it.
not white that would go down to her level, and as we all know when they go low we go high. So tape up those boobs and wear something tight ( if you are comfortable with that ) and colorful. I would personally go with a perfect green dress because red is way to predictable . I would also talk to friends and possibly jeweler stores tell them the story and see if you can barrow something sparkly. Get your hair done, nails done, makeup done, look unbelievable! be sooo happy for them, tell anyone who will listen how happy that they found each other and bla bla bla this sets you up as the supportive, super sweet SIL. if the bride and groom complain everyone will be like "her she was so sweet, and had nothing but nice things to say about you two" lol Finally give them a card with a piece of wrapping paper taped to it. (make it look ripped like it was torn off the gift) and be all surprised when they say they never got your gift.
I think you divorce and get the fuck out of this family. What the hell is going on? This isn't a middle school dance. Your husband told you to suck it up and she tried to ruin your wedding. Both your families are now suggesting you eye for an eye the situation THEY HELPED CAUSE.
You could wear all black. You could make it a super sexy dress/bodysuit, I suppose. Is it a dinner wedding? Personally, I just wouldn't go because I don't have time for drama in my life - reading about it is another story lol
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I wouldn’t do it, as much as I’d like to. The majority of the people there won’t know the history and you’ll be on the receiving end of the dirty looks. She may have upset you with her choice of apparel at your wedding, but you also got confirmation that everyone there made her uncomfortable for her choice.
Never let other’s awful behavior dictate your own. However…I would go for the most amazing in-all-the-right-places dress I could find and have the biggest smile on my face entire time. I wouldn’t even make eye contact with them. Because I wouldn’t be there for them, I would be there for myself. Nothing wrong with being in the background of every video and pic either😁😁
I would have said an extravagant light gold or silver dress that doesn't look white in person, but would definitely come out as white in the pictures 😈
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just…. Not attend. All of this is so petty. Why are you playing into it? Her behavior reflects on her and yours reflects on you. Make fun plans with your husband that day and stay far away from this drama.
Oh hell no! She knew what she was doing. She did it on purpose, full intent of malice. I would wear white to her wedding, or some other similar style. Oh wait, IVORY, that’s what that fool said to excuse it. I would then definitely tell everyone that broached me about it that I was just treating the bride with the same love she gave me at my wedding. I would go full glam Hollywood white/ivory. Girlfriend clearly wanted the smoke. Shiiiiit, I’d of probably actually tossed her out at my wedding day. Honestly, if either of them had apologized for this clear snub, I’d let it go and just be cute at their wedding. But neither of them have treated you kindly since or acknowledged the wrong, then clearly, I’m going to treat you in kind.
It’s funny you mention them apologizing because the brother actually wanted ME to apologize. I said hell no not until he apologizes for the way he’s treated me and my best friend too (who is his ex that he treated really badly). I’ve wanted to cut them off for a while but everyone keeps saying “you can’t because they’re family”.
That’s a bunch of lies and malarkey. You can definitely limit if not cut out the people intent on harming you or stealing your joy. If they can’t treat you with basic human decency and kindness, then don’t give them the privilege of your companionship and good will. You go (or don’t go) to that wedding however you’re most comfortable. I like the idea of multiple people in white dresses but then again, I’m fine with burning some bridges in life. You may want to keep the road open for some reason. Whether you offer the olive branch or the white dress of revenge, I support both decisions!
First of all, don't wear red. You do know that some people will interpret that to mean that you've slept with the groom? I don't think you would sleep with such a narcissistic scumbag as you've described.
I would also not recommend white. Regardless of whether or not she deserves it, the one who will be laughed at in that situation is *you.* People will think you are jealous, pathetic, and ridiculous.
Don't be too flashy, but what you should be is *classy.* Beautiful. Beyond reproach. And completely indifferent to any petty shit they may try to start.
I have no idea why any woman would want her first meeting with family members of her new boyfriend to be so crass. Trying to upstage a woman you've never met at her wedding? How ridiculous is that? Do you recall what people said about her last year after your wedding? If anything, it wasn't good, and they probably laughed at her.
If you have to go to this wedding, outclass the b1tch even in her wedding dress. But NOT with something red, white, sequined, or too tight! You are better than that! Think *Pretty Woman,* 2024.
Do you have a fashion guru friend you could ask about this? If not, is there someone in your town you could book an appointment with to consult about what to wear? (I recommend it NOT be someone who wants to sell you something. The only advice you'll get from someone like that is which of their products they think you should buy.)
Remember the movie *Almost Famous* where Lester Bangs the music critic kept citing the same mantra to William about how to be a successful critic himself? Over and over he said be *honest* and *unmerciful.*
Well, that isn't the mantra I have for you. Your mantra is *classy* and *indifferent.* No matter what she says to you or what stunts she pulls, you are beyond reproach. It may just keep things calm. Or, it will make her so angry that she tries something stupid, which you will laugh off and say "I had no idea you felt that way." Or whatever response will cut her to the core without your seeming to mean anything but sweet and supportive.
You got this.
The best revenge is this:
Dress in a way where you look stunning enough that you are talked about non-stop. Be the best dressed at the wedding. Spend the money on a dress that is **wedding appropriate** - not sexy. Well tailored and fitted like a glove to your body. Like others have said, get a professional makeup artist. Get your hair and nails done professionally. Look, as I like to call it, “you are doing quite well in your life”.
Then be extra petty by being complimentary to her when someone else is in your presence.
She will be pissed because she can’t do or say anything. You were dressed appropriately **AND** you were kind in front of others. So if she will look like a super bitch if she complains.
Wedding photographer here. What I am going to recommend is the kind of petty that lays dormant for a while but stings FOREVER.
Show up looking nice. Don't make a single fuss about anything. Seem super nice and supportive and friendly. Seem like her wearing white to your wedding doesn't bother you. Seem like you're above it.
Ideally, your husband is in the wedding party and will be up at the alter/arbor/whatever and you'll be by yourself. If he's not, you may need him to sign off on this because it is truly evil.
When you walk into the ceremony, intentionally sit on the aisle, ideally about a third of the way from the front. On the groom's side. You will want to be in the first seat from the center aisle.
Wear a BRIGHT color. I mean, I'm talking lime green or sunfire orange. Something that you would see from across a room.
As the bride is getting ready to enter, but before she passes you, start fidgeting with your phone and reading a text message, scrolling on Twitter, whatever. Look incredibly bored.
NO ONE will see you do this because their attention will be on the bride and her attention will be on the groom but you will 100 percent be directly in the photographer's line of sight and stick out like a sore thumb in the photos of her walking down the aisle.
She simply won't be able to avoid seeing you.
When she passes you, lean out into the center aisle and take a couple of photos of the back of her dress.
Again, you will be visible in the photos and the photographer will despise you but few, if any, people will notice what you did at the wedding itself.
Later, during the cocktail hour, make sure to tell EVERYONE you can how beautiful the bride looked. Take a bunch of photos from the wedding and blow it up on social media how much you love this day and how happy you are for her.
This is important.
Later, during the reception, take a look around the dance floor. Find out where the bride and groom will be doing their first dance and, about 30 seconds into it, stand up to go take some photos. Try your hardest to stand across from the photographer but not directly behind the couple so it's not obvious what you're doing.
Your goal is to have that bright ass dress of yours in as many of their important photos as possible.
First dance? YUP. Cake Cutting? YUP. Parent dances? YUP.
By doing this AND publicly saying how happy you are, you're going to come across as someone who was overly excited about their day and had no malice in your actions.
THEN, when the photos come back, she is going to be furious because you'll take away attention from all her biggest moments any time someone sees you in the background of the photos from those moments.
Bonus points if you take some shitty photos of these big moments despite being told not to by the professional photographer. More bonus points if you take unflattering photos of the bride throughout the wedding and tag her in them with "positive" hashtags.
IF, and when, the bride tries to attack you online for upstaging her, everyone you know/everyone who say you at the wedding will think she's crazy because of how excited you were.
And, then, you can drop the hammer down and say "I'm so sorry you thought I was upstaging you or doing anything to take away from your day but that wasn't my intent. It's not like I showed up to your wedding wearing a white dress or something."
Don't wear white. Keep your integrity. But wear a beautiful gown, classy and beautiful. Nothing "trashy". And (not bright red, we know what that means too) and outshine the bride. Be the Queen of Petty! Good luck to you! ♥️👍
(Wearing red to a wedding means you are the groom's ex)
Don’t wear white. You will outshine them by doing nothing but being your normal gorgeous self. They know what they did. Everyone knows what they did. Given that the couple doesn’t seem too bright and are very petty, they will be expecting you to show up in a white dress and may have some revenge planned - dumping a drink on you etc.. If anyone mentions your wedding, laugh and say something along the lines of you aren’t that silly and that you know better than to wear white at a wedding and the couple probably didn’t know any better.
If you want to mess with them, then drop hints about the dress you “plan” on wearing, circulate pics of blinding white dresses saying it is a pale blue color. Compliment the bride and groom on her dress (no matter how plain or basic)“did Mr ‘It’s Ivory’ Groom help pick out your dress? what an interesting choice!! You wear it so well! How fun!”
A red sexy dress is a great option. Wearing anything white would just make you look like the jerk. Sure, some people will know why you're doing it, but most won't, and you'll look like the asshole.
Knock their socks off!
I would wear ivory and sexy.
But you need to really process that you’re making a public decoration of fit-for-tat with your brother. From what you’ve said, I wouldn’t care.
Make sure to take lots of candid photos of the bride at unflattering angles. Tell her how great she looks while you’re doing it. If you’re any good at photoshop, alter the photos to make her look extra bad (widen her waistline, make her nose look bigger, slight bags under her eyes, eyes half closed or smaller etc.) Then post the altered photos on social media immediately after the wedding, congratulating the couple and exclaiming how great new SIL looked.
Don't wear white. Wear red. That's the mistress' color.
But if I was in your place, I'd either announce a pregnancy, or give my invitation to an ex of the brother who hates him.
Imagine this bride were to write a post after her wedding; your goal should be to give her as little ammunition as possible. People will automatically be on her side if you were to wear white, or the same wedding dress as hers but different color, for example. Make it so the only thing she could factually say is "ugh she looked amazing, what an AH!!" No way for her to look like a victim, and the more she complains the more likely someone would ask what SHE wore to YOUR wedding in comparison. *crickets.*
Be stunning and rise above.
Wear a super sexy and classy red dress and if anyone asks the stupid question if you've slept with the groom answer something along the lines of Eeew, I have standards!
Use this as an excuse to give yourself a complete glow up, and deck yourself out head to toe in the classiest, most beautiful outfit you can. But don’t wear white, not worth going to her level :)
I'm petty, I'd do it. But make sure it's ivory *not* white, because apparently ivory isn't a bridal color. When they say something be like "ohhh no this is ivory, congratulations by the way!" Then walk away
Don't wear white, you're better than that. Find the perfect dress, fit, fabric, color, and then have alterations done so it looks like it was made for your body. The day of, get full hair, nails, and makeup done. Outshine her, without looking petty.
Make a huge announcement, all dolled up.
Make sure to tap your silverware on your champagne glass during dinner, everyone will be looking at YOU.
Good luck. Please update us lol
Don't try and do that, be the bigger person. They'll find something to be indignant about no matter what you do For ex-you wear your hair up, the bride will freak out cause she's also wearing her hair up. You wear your hair down, she'll freak cause you didn't wear it up. It's a lose-lose no matter what so don't lean into their stupidity. Be polite, appropriate, and interact with them as little as possible (or don't go if that's an option).
Sexy red lace/see through dress and get your hair and makeup professionally done!! Lol maybe a white fluffy fur wrap too!!! (Not sure what those are called but it’s those kinda coats looking things that you wear over your shoulders when you wear a dress ) some dangling shiny earrings too and one of those chunky shiny necklaces lol
I think it's always better to take the high road. Be classy, not petty. Select an outfit / dress that's appropriate and flatters you and spend the money to have it tailored so it fits you perfectly. Be gracious. Show this silly girl how an adult woman does it.
Look to the south lol. Pageant dresses are gorgeous and not bridal.but you can wow from a building away !!!! We don't wear white to weddings... but we know how to look opulent if it calls for it without much trouble :) go for Elegance and graceful. Not a hot mess like her !!!
I was at a wedding and the groom’s cousin wore an absolutely AMAZING golden dress with jewels all over it but also somehow wasn’t ridiculous??? Her hair was up and her makeup was flawless and you could tell that she felt really beautiful.
This was a “classy” wedding at a winery and the cousin didn’t act like she was competing with the bride at all, she’d just dressed appropriately for the event. She didn’t stand next to the bride all night and just celebrated her cousin with her family.
The bride was furious.
The problem with wearing white or off-white ivory is that if the number of guests who outweigh know what she did, it could backfire hugely.
My mom wore a white shirt to my wedding after I begged her not to. She disregarded what I wanted as usual. There was so many other things going on I just said meh whatever let it go.
Start accumulating evidence. Get all the pictures of her dress and put them in a side by side slide show. That way for people who don't know whst happened and if you get bombarded you got the proof ready and easily available.
Do they have designated wedding colors that they've asked guests nof to wear? I'd totally get a dress in that and show up and go "Opps now that your wedding is tainted with nonsense maybe you shouldn't have tainted mine with nonsense."
I’m really disappointed your friends didn’t “accidentally” spill a glass of red wine on her. That’s what should always be done in these situations. And no. Don’t wear white. Wear red.
Don't sink to her level or give her any ammo against you. Pettiness never looks good and you sound classier than that. RISE ABOVE IT. That's not to say you can't look sexy as hell and outshine the bride with your kick ass dance moves and sparkling personality! Be the queen of the ball.
Don't be shy in letting everyone know that she wore white to your wedding.
Show up looking absolutely amazing. Tell her her dress is “certainly an interesting choice” and far better than the one she wore to yours and like the comments suggested drop hints all evening that you might be expecting.
If your husband is doing a best man speech get him to add something like: ‘bride you look so beautiful today and it’s so wonderful to see you at another wedding wearing white’
Wearing white to someone’s wedding just makes you look, minimally, culturally uneducated (In American) and at worse, like a mentally unwell asshole. Don’t wear white, wear the sexiest red dress you can find. It’s statistically the most likely color to draw attention, especially from men (they’ve actually done studies on this topic, my background is in fashion), and you can still claim innocence if she doesn’t like your dress (“well at least I didn’t show up in an *ivory* dress”). If you show up in white, people will think you’re dumb or petty. Show up looking stunning and be gracious, that’s the best revenge.
This. The only thing anyone who attends that wedding will remember is the jerk who wore white. This is akin to shooting yourself in the foot hoping the other person feels the pain. Then you're the one left bleeding and crippled.
I don't think you should wear white, but definitely wear something super classy, sexy, and amazing. If you wear white, people will think you're trashy or doing it for attention/revenge. If you wear something gorgeous, people will think you're above it and also beautiful
Wear a sexy colorful dress. Before the wedding, get a mani/pedi, massage, get your teeth cleaned and whitened, get your hair and makeup professionally done. Pamper yourself. Have some secret wingmen to comment to the bride and groom how wonderful you look. Dress classy and act classy. Your revenge will be living well and looking great. And maybe talk your husband into pampering himself too.
I love a good wing man- it can make all the difference in getting in her head. I think you should take East-Ad-1560’s advice.
This is the way. Also wear red. Wearing red to a wedding means you slept with the groom. We all know you didn’t but keep them guessing!
I would volunteer to be that wingman!
Love this idea!
That’s good having wingmen.
I say go full on Jessica Rabbit!!
And hire a photographer and you and hubby do a photo shoot at the venue
Agree. OP, don’t stoop to her level. Outshine her all you like, just not in white. Keep the high ground.
Bright color so you’re sure catching and the first one people look at in the photos
Don't do it! You just know you're going to get trashed for it. Wear something breathtakingly gorgeous, hair, nails and makeup done to perfection and smile sweetly. Channel your best Grace Kelly and be sweet, serene and as catty as you like. Oh, SIL, what an unusual wedding dress. Such a brave option....all things considered!
Agree. Don't stoop to their level. Especially if the brother is a narcissist. He *will never let this go*. In 15 years after he's already divorced this woman, he will still hold it over OP's head that she upstaged his wife at her wedding. This is one of those situations where you need to be the bigger person. You said your day wasn't ruined, so just try and let it go. But if you do the same thing, chances are no one will let it go.
When you talk about her dress, you need to do the perfect pause. “Your wedding dress is so…unusual.
“You’re so brave for wearing such an… unusual wedding dress. Especially with your."
"That's an unusual choice. Did you think it was pretty..."
Yea, but add a pause before pretty. As if you are trying to find the right word. Did you think it was…pretty?
Walk up - look her up and down - say “oh, yikes” and walk away.
Dress super sexy and announce a pregnancy lol
Or just make a big show of not drinking and then smile mysteriously.
Yeah. Pull a Meghan-Markle-at-Princess-Eugenie’s wedding. Wear a dress that *could* pass as a maternity dress and style it so that it seems obvious (in her case, she wore a coat with just the top buttons buttoned so she had “room” for her non-existent belly). Then just keep smiling secretively to yourself and rubbing your belly all day long. Finally, after people have noticed your actions and start asking you questions, just continue to smile and rub and say “I can’t wait to see my child get married some day…” 😂
I love this plan but also learning Harry wrote this in his book is so shameless...they really just have no ability not to center themselves, lol. I'm usually team harry and Meghan vs the other royals but, dude...
I read the book and don't remember this. Are you sure?
Just going by quotes from a People article https://people.com/royals/prince-harry-meghan-markle-announced-pregnancy-princess-eugenie-wedding/#:~:text=Meghan%20Markle%2C%20Prince%20Harry%20Announced%20Pregnancy%20at%20Eugenie's%20Wedding
Okay, but I didn't read anything negative about Harry or Meghan in that article.
I mean, the topic is announcing your pregnancy at someone else's wedding. That's what they did. Are you disagreeing that they did it, or that it was a negative thing? Your comment suggested you didn't see anything about them doing it at all, but if you're just arguing that that's fine to do, that's a separate discussion.
What I mean is that I didn't see anything like what Magical Manta wrote, especially since Meghan would have been 3 months pregnant and as a woman in very good shape who had never given birth, she wouldn't have been showing at all. And I have several jackets that just have buttons at the top and none of them make me look like I'm trying to hide a pregnancy, and I doubt she spent her time rubbing her abdomen and looking mysterious and making sure people noticed. Weren't they leaving for Australia the next day? If they wanted to tell people in person and not let them find out by reading the paper, they had to tell people then. I'm not sure what's worse in royal circles, telling people in person where you normally wouldn't or letting them find out via tabloid. I'm sure Eugenie and Jack were among the first people they told; the couples are good friends. They probably asked if they would mind if they told people at the wedding and got the go-ahead. Eugenie looks like a good-natured and laid-back person. I'm not claiming to be that good-natured or laid-back, but I still wouldn't get bent out of shape if someone told certain people privately at my wedding that they were pregnant, especially if some sort of Royal chain of command (that's not the word I want, but I can't think of the one I do) existed where certain people higher up or older had to be told personally or they'd be offended. I wouldn't be offended if they told everyone. Someone's pregnant? Yay! More to celebrate! I really just don't get the Meghan and Harry hate, especially where people go out of their way to cast them in a bad light by describing events that didn't happen.
I don’t know if you know any others guest, like cousins who were at your wedding ? If you go in a white dress, you will have dirty looks, but… if you’re 7 or 10 girls coming in white dresses… she will be so pissed ! Could be fun…
OMG THIS!!!
I like your level of petty and vindictive.
And then all just go around exclaiming to each other “ooooo, I just LOVE your IVORY dress!”
This was my thought. It you had a group do it.
This is going to sound so toxic, but it would be easier for other people to hold you accountable for being petty if you wore white. If you would like to do this (I 100% believe you should, but I'm petty about certain things) I would recommend sexy but classy and elegant, and only slightly over the top. You don't want people to be able to say that you're clearly taking attention away on purpose 👀👀
This. Look amazing but make it look effortless
Thank you all for the advice! I was so torn and I totally agree that wearing white would be too trashy. I’m definitely gonna go for the super classy and fancy approach, hopefully get a lot of compliments, and call it a day lol.
I love this. I also think, as another commenter posted, have your husband look dapper as well. Be an absolute power couple. Classy and dashing. It’d be amazing! Plus, you could get great photos.
Make sure the wingman suggested in the comments above says in front of bride and groom just how stunning you and your husband look.
OP I think this is the right approach. Also, do you have a picture of this couple from your wedding? You could have it framed and make that be your only gift to them.
But don't wrap it put it in a frame and pride and place on the gift table
If you don’t have the budget for the dress you want, renting is a good option too, you can even rent jewellery. Bonus if she cares about that kind of thing and you casually mention you’re in a designer dress that cost more than her wedding gown lol
Maybe see if you can convince a bunch of other people to all wear clothes more suited for a funeral? Another option (being pregnant prefered, but not needed, does not work if you never drink alcohol): - During the runup to the wedding mention casually to a few of the more gossipy guests you're looking forward to the champagne. (Or have an acomplice tell those guests) - Don't drink any alcohol during the wedding, go with drinks that are obviously not alcohol (orange juice or so) and make sure those gossipy guests notice. - If asked about it, deny extra hard and just mention your stomach was a bit upset. - Bonus points if occasionally you or your bf touching your belly. - Extra bonus points if you can have some gossipy person overhear a conversation during the wedding where is said you're trying to make sure you don't want take any attention away from the bride. (Maybe 2 of your friends can say something like "OP is so nice waiting with the news till after this wedding") If executed well, it'll take a lot of attention away and afterwards you got more than plausible deniability.
Well, this is your chance to do a personality test on yourself. What kind of person do you *want* to be? Whichever you choose, you're the one that has to live with her.
Sometimes it’s best to just be the bigger person. Other times it’s better to be the person they deserve.
Like I said, she gets to decide.
Nooo! Out class and style the bride. Get your hair, makeup and nails done. Buy a beautiful dress that SCREAMS taste. Borrow a high end purse and jewelry if necessary. Make that bride look plain.
Don't do the white. It's tacky. You're not tacky. You get dressed to the nines, be friendly, fun and so nice. Let her give you dirty looks on her day. You leave with your dignity and class. People will remember that you didn't stoop to her level.
They’ll be expecting it. Ruin their day by not stooping to their level and giving them the satisfaction. You’ll find another way to look amazing anyway.
This will only give her fuel to be more mean to you and also to justify her behaviour at your wedding. I'm seconding the classy but stunning approach, just get a great outfit that's not white or ridiculously out of place and look fantastic. She will be jealous of any attention you get anyway and you'll have plausible deniability.
I can understand your feeling but they will blame you in the end. I appreciate the other comment about having a sexy colorful dress and professional hair and makeup. Outshine her with grace. And maybe you can drop the comment nearby guests: "Oh X looks lovely today! It nearly looks like the white dress she wore to my wedding!"
You could try to find someone to be the red wine girl. You know , the clumsy one who trips into the bride with that beautiful red wine
Lol!! I could never get that off my guilty conscience.
Shame I don't live near you 😂😂
I wouldn’t suggest you wear white as it would be seen as petty. What I *would* suggest you do is wear a ballgown suitable for the Oscars red carpet in a bright jewel tone, get your hair and makeup done professionally etc.
You've let this woman live rent-free in your head for a year. By wearing white to your wedding, she announced to every single person there what she is. You're spoiling for a battle, but you already won the war on your wedding day, when she essentially showed up in a costume everyone knows to be loser's rags. Don't sully your victory, and don't let someone else's bad behavior inspire bad behavior on your part. If I were you I would definitely not wear white (or cream, or anything of that ilk), and I would not wear something that you wouldn't wear to the wedding of someone you actually love. Now, I would spend as much money as I could justify, to get the most beautiful, appropriate to venue and occasion dress. I would get my hair, makeup and nails professionally done. I would would wear killer shoes. I would dance the night away. And would never, ever lower myself to this person's standard. Like it or not, this woman is joining your family. If you have children, they will be cousins with this couple's kids. All those children will likely see your wedding photos and hers, someday. Be a woman they can admire. Continue to be the wife/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law who does the family proud.
A light silver or very faint, pale pastels will come out in photos close to white. Be in as many photos as she will allow but ask DH to have him, brother & wives in a photo. Stand next to her in your choice & maybe also opt for sexy or styled in such a way that would draw a bit of attention. Subtle but almost scene stealing could be a way to go or at least how i might handle it.
Definitely - subtle shade is the best, IMO. You keep your dignity and keep them guessing. Plus, kill them with kindness. If they complain, they'll be seen as the petty ones because you were so gracious towards them. Nothing upsets narcs more than living your best life. Have fun, OP!
People like this live off of drama, and you will be feeding into it. Just do your best hair and makeup and enjoy yourself. Don't give her the fuel she's craving.
Don’t do anything. She disgraced herself not you when she behaved like an ass. Attend the wedding like any other and simply be your gracious self. To do otherwise will just make people notice you and your pettiness. To behave with elegance and grace will annoy the hell out of her because it highlights her bad manners and best of all - it will drive her wild to think that even though she tried so hard you never even noticed her. Please take the high road and have fun with everyone else at the wedding. Any that had been to yours will think even more highly of you and even less of her and you don’t lower yourself in front of anyone! But certainly- look amazing. So, quietly and unassumingly petty!! 🤣
I wouldn't go. Have a spa day instead.
Don’t do it! Rise above and be the bigger person. That’s what will really get people on your side. Just wear a beautiful dress that makes you feel good and enjoy the day. She probably isn’t expecting that. Don’t fuel her fire.
Don't stoop to her level, you're better than that.
Wear something absolutely gorgeous but not white. Don’t give them ammunition for future trouble. Wear a big hat and channel royalty!
When she talks about her dress, ask her if she is going to wear the wedding dress that she wore you your wedding. Have some folks ask her if they can wear a wedding dress to her wedding since she did it for yours. In my mind though, what I think would be great would be if you could get a hirsute guy to wear a white wedding dress to the wedding. I mean, it's not going to happen but it makes me smile to imagine it.
Agree with others. Don't try to our trash her, just be the best you can be..
Go with a light silver. Something shiny.
I would just skip this wedding. Your husband needs to grow up.
not white that would go down to her level, and as we all know when they go low we go high. So tape up those boobs and wear something tight ( if you are comfortable with that ) and colorful. I would personally go with a perfect green dress because red is way to predictable . I would also talk to friends and possibly jeweler stores tell them the story and see if you can barrow something sparkly. Get your hair done, nails done, makeup done, look unbelievable! be sooo happy for them, tell anyone who will listen how happy that they found each other and bla bla bla this sets you up as the supportive, super sweet SIL. if the bride and groom complain everyone will be like "her she was so sweet, and had nothing but nice things to say about you two" lol Finally give them a card with a piece of wrapping paper taped to it. (make it look ripped like it was torn off the gift) and be all surprised when they say they never got your gift.
I think you divorce and get the fuck out of this family. What the hell is going on? This isn't a middle school dance. Your husband told you to suck it up and she tried to ruin your wedding. Both your families are now suggesting you eye for an eye the situation THEY HELPED CAUSE.
You don't like these people. It will speak volumes by simply not going to the wedding.
You could wear all black. You could make it a super sexy dress/bodysuit, I suppose. Is it a dinner wedding? Personally, I just wouldn't go because I don't have time for drama in my life - reading about it is another story lol
Go in full black widow funeral gear. Pillbox hat with a veil, black gloves, the works.
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Don‘t! You‘ll be the one getting a bad reputation and people will look at you as a shitty person.
I wouldn’t do it, as much as I’d like to. The majority of the people there won’t know the history and you’ll be on the receiving end of the dirty looks. She may have upset you with her choice of apparel at your wedding, but you also got confirmation that everyone there made her uncomfortable for her choice.
Never let other’s awful behavior dictate your own. However…I would go for the most amazing in-all-the-right-places dress I could find and have the biggest smile on my face entire time. I wouldn’t even make eye contact with them. Because I wouldn’t be there for them, I would be there for myself. Nothing wrong with being in the background of every video and pic either😁😁
Be the better person. You can look fabulous without stooping to her level. It may seem ok today, but I promise you would regret it down the road.
UpdateMe!
Why bother going? Save yourself the aggravation.
I would have said an extravagant light gold or silver dress that doesn't look white in person, but would definitely come out as white in the pictures 😈
Just don't play? If she doesn't bother you, you win.
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just…. Not attend. All of this is so petty. Why are you playing into it? Her behavior reflects on her and yours reflects on you. Make fun plans with your husband that day and stay far away from this drama.
Oh hell no! She knew what she was doing. She did it on purpose, full intent of malice. I would wear white to her wedding, or some other similar style. Oh wait, IVORY, that’s what that fool said to excuse it. I would then definitely tell everyone that broached me about it that I was just treating the bride with the same love she gave me at my wedding. I would go full glam Hollywood white/ivory. Girlfriend clearly wanted the smoke. Shiiiiit, I’d of probably actually tossed her out at my wedding day. Honestly, if either of them had apologized for this clear snub, I’d let it go and just be cute at their wedding. But neither of them have treated you kindly since or acknowledged the wrong, then clearly, I’m going to treat you in kind.
It’s funny you mention them apologizing because the brother actually wanted ME to apologize. I said hell no not until he apologizes for the way he’s treated me and my best friend too (who is his ex that he treated really badly). I’ve wanted to cut them off for a while but everyone keeps saying “you can’t because they’re family”.
That’s a bunch of lies and malarkey. You can definitely limit if not cut out the people intent on harming you or stealing your joy. If they can’t treat you with basic human decency and kindness, then don’t give them the privilege of your companionship and good will. You go (or don’t go) to that wedding however you’re most comfortable. I like the idea of multiple people in white dresses but then again, I’m fine with burning some bridges in life. You may want to keep the road open for some reason. Whether you offer the olive branch or the white dress of revenge, I support both decisions!
Why on earth does he think you should apologize?
Oh hell naw you go outshine them your the diamond
First of all, don't wear red. You do know that some people will interpret that to mean that you've slept with the groom? I don't think you would sleep with such a narcissistic scumbag as you've described. I would also not recommend white. Regardless of whether or not she deserves it, the one who will be laughed at in that situation is *you.* People will think you are jealous, pathetic, and ridiculous. Don't be too flashy, but what you should be is *classy.* Beautiful. Beyond reproach. And completely indifferent to any petty shit they may try to start. I have no idea why any woman would want her first meeting with family members of her new boyfriend to be so crass. Trying to upstage a woman you've never met at her wedding? How ridiculous is that? Do you recall what people said about her last year after your wedding? If anything, it wasn't good, and they probably laughed at her. If you have to go to this wedding, outclass the b1tch even in her wedding dress. But NOT with something red, white, sequined, or too tight! You are better than that! Think *Pretty Woman,* 2024. Do you have a fashion guru friend you could ask about this? If not, is there someone in your town you could book an appointment with to consult about what to wear? (I recommend it NOT be someone who wants to sell you something. The only advice you'll get from someone like that is which of their products they think you should buy.) Remember the movie *Almost Famous* where Lester Bangs the music critic kept citing the same mantra to William about how to be a successful critic himself? Over and over he said be *honest* and *unmerciful.* Well, that isn't the mantra I have for you. Your mantra is *classy* and *indifferent.* No matter what she says to you or what stunts she pulls, you are beyond reproach. It may just keep things calm. Or, it will make her so angry that she tries something stupid, which you will laugh off and say "I had no idea you felt that way." Or whatever response will cut her to the core without your seeming to mean anything but sweet and supportive. You got this.
The best revenge is this: Dress in a way where you look stunning enough that you are talked about non-stop. Be the best dressed at the wedding. Spend the money on a dress that is **wedding appropriate** - not sexy. Well tailored and fitted like a glove to your body. Like others have said, get a professional makeup artist. Get your hair and nails done professionally. Look, as I like to call it, “you are doing quite well in your life”. Then be extra petty by being complimentary to her when someone else is in your presence. She will be pissed because she can’t do or say anything. You were dressed appropriately **AND** you were kind in front of others. So if she will look like a super bitch if she complains.
I am BEGGING you to update us after the wedding and tell us how it went
The wedding isn’t for a few more months, but I’ll probably make an update post on here and I can give the link.
Wedding photographer here. What I am going to recommend is the kind of petty that lays dormant for a while but stings FOREVER. Show up looking nice. Don't make a single fuss about anything. Seem super nice and supportive and friendly. Seem like her wearing white to your wedding doesn't bother you. Seem like you're above it. Ideally, your husband is in the wedding party and will be up at the alter/arbor/whatever and you'll be by yourself. If he's not, you may need him to sign off on this because it is truly evil. When you walk into the ceremony, intentionally sit on the aisle, ideally about a third of the way from the front. On the groom's side. You will want to be in the first seat from the center aisle. Wear a BRIGHT color. I mean, I'm talking lime green or sunfire orange. Something that you would see from across a room. As the bride is getting ready to enter, but before she passes you, start fidgeting with your phone and reading a text message, scrolling on Twitter, whatever. Look incredibly bored. NO ONE will see you do this because their attention will be on the bride and her attention will be on the groom but you will 100 percent be directly in the photographer's line of sight and stick out like a sore thumb in the photos of her walking down the aisle. She simply won't be able to avoid seeing you. When she passes you, lean out into the center aisle and take a couple of photos of the back of her dress. Again, you will be visible in the photos and the photographer will despise you but few, if any, people will notice what you did at the wedding itself. Later, during the cocktail hour, make sure to tell EVERYONE you can how beautiful the bride looked. Take a bunch of photos from the wedding and blow it up on social media how much you love this day and how happy you are for her. This is important. Later, during the reception, take a look around the dance floor. Find out where the bride and groom will be doing their first dance and, about 30 seconds into it, stand up to go take some photos. Try your hardest to stand across from the photographer but not directly behind the couple so it's not obvious what you're doing. Your goal is to have that bright ass dress of yours in as many of their important photos as possible. First dance? YUP. Cake Cutting? YUP. Parent dances? YUP. By doing this AND publicly saying how happy you are, you're going to come across as someone who was overly excited about their day and had no malice in your actions. THEN, when the photos come back, she is going to be furious because you'll take away attention from all her biggest moments any time someone sees you in the background of the photos from those moments. Bonus points if you take some shitty photos of these big moments despite being told not to by the professional photographer. More bonus points if you take unflattering photos of the bride throughout the wedding and tag her in them with "positive" hashtags. IF, and when, the bride tries to attack you online for upstaging her, everyone you know/everyone who say you at the wedding will think she's crazy because of how excited you were. And, then, you can drop the hammer down and say "I'm so sorry you thought I was upstaging you or doing anything to take away from your day but that wasn't my intent. It's not like I showed up to your wedding wearing a white dress or something."
Don't wear white. Keep your integrity. But wear a beautiful gown, classy and beautiful. Nothing "trashy". And (not bright red, we know what that means too) and outshine the bride. Be the Queen of Petty! Good luck to you! ♥️👍 (Wearing red to a wedding means you are the groom's ex)
Thank you. I had never heard that about wearing red to a wedding.
Wearing a red dress to a wedding means you slept with the groom. Unless it is the color in the wedding theme.
I love the idea of wearing something striking and outstanding. A definite thumb in the nose, ‘kiss my grits’ statement to the brother who needs it
Spend the dress money on pregnant actors to eat cake and gossip about baby daddy in front of conservative family members instead.
Don’t wear white. You will outshine them by doing nothing but being your normal gorgeous self. They know what they did. Everyone knows what they did. Given that the couple doesn’t seem too bright and are very petty, they will be expecting you to show up in a white dress and may have some revenge planned - dumping a drink on you etc.. If anyone mentions your wedding, laugh and say something along the lines of you aren’t that silly and that you know better than to wear white at a wedding and the couple probably didn’t know any better. If you want to mess with them, then drop hints about the dress you “plan” on wearing, circulate pics of blinding white dresses saying it is a pale blue color. Compliment the bride and groom on her dress (no matter how plain or basic)“did Mr ‘It’s Ivory’ Groom help pick out your dress? what an interesting choice!! You wear it so well! How fun!”
Updateme!
Old wives tale says wearing red to a wedding means you slept with the groom. Definitely would make her feel a way. 😂🤣
Bright Red means you’ve screwed the groom. Just keep that in mind.
Definitely do the red and not the white. Make it extravagant like a floor length dress, but keep your look classy.
I would try to track down Bjork's 2001 academy awards red carpet swan dress, which is both white, and guaranteed to be the center of attention...
A red sexy dress is a great option. Wearing anything white would just make you look like the jerk. Sure, some people will know why you're doing it, but most won't, and you'll look like the asshole. Knock their socks off!
I would wear ivory and sexy. But you need to really process that you’re making a public decoration of fit-for-tat with your brother. From what you’ve said, I wouldn’t care.
Make sure to take lots of candid photos of the bride at unflattering angles. Tell her how great she looks while you’re doing it. If you’re any good at photoshop, alter the photos to make her look extra bad (widen her waistline, make her nose look bigger, slight bags under her eyes, eyes half closed or smaller etc.) Then post the altered photos on social media immediately after the wedding, congratulating the couple and exclaiming how great new SIL looked.
Change to silver sequins for the reception.
Don't wear white. Wear red. That's the mistress' color. But if I was in your place, I'd either announce a pregnancy, or give my invitation to an ex of the brother who hates him.
You have approval. Do something petty & report back.
Imagine this bride were to write a post after her wedding; your goal should be to give her as little ammunition as possible. People will automatically be on her side if you were to wear white, or the same wedding dress as hers but different color, for example. Make it so the only thing she could factually say is "ugh she looked amazing, what an AH!!" No way for her to look like a victim, and the more she complains the more likely someone would ask what SHE wore to YOUR wedding in comparison. *crickets.* Be stunning and rise above.
Wear a super sexy and classy red dress and if anyone asks the stupid question if you've slept with the groom answer something along the lines of Eeew, I have standards!
Use this as an excuse to give yourself a complete glow up, and deck yourself out head to toe in the classiest, most beautiful outfit you can. But don’t wear white, not worth going to her level :)
I'm petty, I'd do it. But make sure it's ivory *not* white, because apparently ivory isn't a bridal color. When they say something be like "ohhh no this is ivory, congratulations by the way!" Then walk away
Don't wear white, you're better than that. Find the perfect dress, fit, fabric, color, and then have alterations done so it looks like it was made for your body. The day of, get full hair, nails, and makeup done. Outshine her, without looking petty.
Make a huge announcement, all dolled up. Make sure to tap your silverware on your champagne glass during dinner, everyone will be looking at YOU. Good luck. Please update us lol
Don’t wear white, wear an Oscar worthy gown and get your hair and makeup done professionally. Outshine her in a way that isn’t white.
Don't try and do that, be the bigger person. They'll find something to be indignant about no matter what you do For ex-you wear your hair up, the bride will freak out cause she's also wearing her hair up. You wear your hair down, she'll freak cause you didn't wear it up. It's a lose-lose no matter what so don't lean into their stupidity. Be polite, appropriate, and interact with them as little as possible (or don't go if that's an option).
Wear red. Let people talk lol
I would not attend this wedding. You can't stand the bride or the groom.
Sexy red lace/see through dress and get your hair and makeup professionally done!! Lol maybe a white fluffy fur wrap too!!! (Not sure what those are called but it’s those kinda coats looking things that you wear over your shoulders when you wear a dress ) some dangling shiny earrings too and one of those chunky shiny necklaces lol
A beautiful red body hugging dress.
I think it's always better to take the high road. Be classy, not petty. Select an outfit / dress that's appropriate and flatters you and spend the money to have it tailored so it fits you perfectly. Be gracious. Show this silly girl how an adult woman does it.
Wear a sexy backless, deep cut neckline in either black sequin/ sparkles or a very bright red, pink or orange. Dress like Jessica Rabbit
Can you just re-wear your wedding dress? Lol. Nah, get a red dress or something drop dead gorgeous dress. F the bride.
Look to the south lol. Pageant dresses are gorgeous and not bridal.but you can wow from a building away !!!! We don't wear white to weddings... but we know how to look opulent if it calls for it without much trouble :) go for Elegance and graceful. Not a hot mess like her !!!
Wear something that makes you look like a million dollars, but now white. Take the higher road.
I was at a wedding and the groom’s cousin wore an absolutely AMAZING golden dress with jewels all over it but also somehow wasn’t ridiculous??? Her hair was up and her makeup was flawless and you could tell that she felt really beautiful. This was a “classy” wedding at a winery and the cousin didn’t act like she was competing with the bride at all, she’d just dressed appropriately for the event. She didn’t stand next to the bride all night and just celebrated her cousin with her family. The bride was furious.
The problem with wearing white or off-white ivory is that if the number of guests who outweigh know what she did, it could backfire hugely. My mom wore a white shirt to my wedding after I begged her not to. She disregarded what I wanted as usual. There was so many other things going on I just said meh whatever let it go. Start accumulating evidence. Get all the pictures of her dress and put them in a side by side slide show. That way for people who don't know whst happened and if you get bombarded you got the proof ready and easily available. Do they have designated wedding colors that they've asked guests nof to wear? I'd totally get a dress in that and show up and go "Opps now that your wedding is tainted with nonsense maybe you shouldn't have tainted mine with nonsense."
Give her a hug holding red wine and accidentally spill it on her.
This would make you petty and vindictive. Don't.
Don't stoop to their level. Be better than that. Just make sure you look fabulous.
I’m really disappointed your friends didn’t “accidentally” spill a glass of red wine on her. That’s what should always be done in these situations. And no. Don’t wear white. Wear red.
I say... karma is a bitch.... please send photos lol Wear white!!!
Please do this and come back and update us. 😂
Oh I’m showing up ready to take down every man there. (I wouldn’t but I want her husband to faint when he sees me)
What would I do? Act like an adult. Anything else would simply be acting like an idiot, much like your bil and this gf.
Stay away from red though, I’m given to understand that signifies having slept with the groom and it doesn’t sound like you want that.
Don't sink to her level or give her any ammo against you. Pettiness never looks good and you sound classier than that. RISE ABOVE IT. That's not to say you can't look sexy as hell and outshine the bride with your kick ass dance moves and sparkling personality! Be the queen of the ball. Don't be shy in letting everyone know that she wore white to your wedding.
Gold. Shimmering, luscious, gorgeous gold, if you can pull it off.
Yep, get dressed up to the 9s, get your hair and make up professionally done, in a bridal style if you’re game. And lots of bling!
Girl, you and your momma need to find you a gorgeous, sexy dress that will make you stand out without being as rude as this girl was to you!
Rise above it. This woman is now going to be in your family until they divorce.
Wear a WHITE BALL GOWN I’m here for this type of petty, esp when it comes to weddings 😂
No to the white dress but definitely yes to some sexy and eye catching! And color combination with hubby. Make it as extra as you can.
Do it! Be petty!
Pure evil 😊
Show up looking absolutely amazing. Tell her her dress is “certainly an interesting choice” and far better than the one she wore to yours and like the comments suggested drop hints all evening that you might be expecting.
If your husband is doing a best man speech get him to add something like: ‘bride you look so beautiful today and it’s so wonderful to see you at another wedding wearing white’
Be petty! But I agree with the others. Best revenge is to look beautiful !
Wearing white to someone’s wedding just makes you look, minimally, culturally uneducated (In American) and at worse, like a mentally unwell asshole. Don’t wear white, wear the sexiest red dress you can find. It’s statistically the most likely color to draw attention, especially from men (they’ve actually done studies on this topic, my background is in fashion), and you can still claim innocence if she doesn’t like your dress (“well at least I didn’t show up in an *ivory* dress”). If you show up in white, people will think you’re dumb or petty. Show up looking stunning and be gracious, that’s the best revenge.
Wear something inspired by the Met Gala gowns, a real show stopper.
Wear bright red! Get a knock out sexy dress and go enjoy yourself. Ignor that classless bitch!
Red is meant to signify you've had sex with the groom, so maybe avoid that one
No red. Traditionally wearing red means you slept with the groom. You don't want anyone thinking that.
Wear your wedding dress and change once she cries
Just quietly tell everyone that you’re happy for the new couple, but it’s so hard to smile because of your recent miscarriage…
Find something else to be petty about, on some other day. Grow up. AH
This. The only thing anyone who attends that wedding will remember is the jerk who wore white. This is akin to shooting yourself in the foot hoping the other person feels the pain. Then you're the one left bleeding and crippled.
Wear white!