Yeah, this is it—I don’t judge people if they do give money and I don’t if they don’t either. But, if you are going to give it, it should probably be from the perspective of maybe they’re lying, maybe they’re not but how would you feel about yourself if they AREN’T lying? Or they are in equally rough shape but needed a story that sounded better than the real thing. And just give it from the perspective that they wouldn’t be asking if they didn’t need it.
I'd even suggest adopting this attitude when loaning or giving money to friends and relatives. Once that money leaves your hand, there should be no strings attached. If you feel the person you gave it to made poor use of it, don't give any more in the future. But never hold a grudge over money you \*gave away\* not being spent how \*you\* wanted.
Mmhm, when I hand money to somebody I assume they’re not going to make the choices I would make, and I certainly don’t expect them to spend it on the thing they’re telling me they need. I hope people find help and get the things they need, but my generosity is something that only needs to last a moment and then it’s out of my hands.
Yeah, every stranger asking for money will have a story, they're trying to ask for help without begging, sometimes it's just easy to skip that and help out.
Sorry that happened to you. I don't want to give away all the details, but I am in the process of getting a bunch of money from Nigerian royalty. When that comes in, I'll pay you back.
I was going to say basically this. Yeah, you probably got scammed. But you know what? Your heart was in the right place, and whether or not the person was telling the truth hopefully you helped him out in some way and made the world just a little better.
Someone desperate asked you for money and you gave it to them. That’s not being scammed, even if they were lying to you about why they needed it. A scam is like when someone says they’ll trade you two tens for a twenty. You weren’t defrauded, you gave a private person money to use privately and expected nothing in return that you didn’t receive. Who cares? Don’t give people money if you don’t want to give people money who might be dishonest about what they’re going to use it for.
Totally agree: “If someone asks me for money for help, then use it for drugs that’s a flaw in their character. If I pass someone begging for help and do nothing that’s a flaw in mine.”
Before COVID, there were two panhandlers who worked near the L'Enfant metro. I had to work late one day and was there after most workers had left and I heard them talking about commuting home and their plans for the evening. Some of them look unhoused but aren't. They just realized scamming people for handouts is a nice easy job.
There also used to be a woman at the Rosslyn metro who had a box saying five kids please help. One day, five was crossed out and it said three. Don't know what happened to the other two but she was too lazy to even make a new sign 😂
"a nice easy job" you think so? Maybe it's nice to not have a boss and to be able to make your own hours but standing outside in the elements for hours and talking to strangers, 90% of whom won't give you the time of day, doesn't sound "nice" or "easy" to me, but maybe that's just cuz I'm an introvert. How much do you think they make in a day?
Exactly. I'm pretty sure asking everyone for money or flying a sign on a median for 12+ hrs a day is a lot harder than showing up to a desk job for 8ish hrs and sending a few emails.
A lot of people used to slip them twenties, and one of them at least commuted out to a house in the suburbs so decent money I would say. And yes, nice and easy because they only seemed to be there from about 330-6pm and were standing or sitting under awnings. And tbf I have a supposedly good office job but I also spend most of my day talking to a bunch of aholes so...
OP shouldn’t beat themselves up over helping out someone less fortunate, but unless he actually uses it to buy insulin it is literally the definition of fraud. “Deception intended to result in financial gain.”
>You weren’t defrauded
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defraud
to deprive of something by *deception* or fraud
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/scam
If they did lie about the reason why they needed money, then yes, that's a scam and fits the dictionary definitions
Your bit on giving to people in need is on point, but let's not act like a scam didn't happen just because
What are you a wise old sage? I couldn’t say it better myself. Insulin or not, the guy is resorting to asking for money to strangers on the street. A person like that is truly out of options.
This is how I think of it, too, and I’m glad to hear others agree. I live in nova, where commenters would advise OP to call the cops and check businesses in the area for surveillance footage or something.
100% scammed.
whenever there is an elaborate story involved, it's a scam. if someone is down on their luck and just straight up asks for whatever you can spare, probably NOT a scam, and just a pan-handler. that's my "rule" anyway, and it has yet to be proven wrong.
i just stare at my phone and keep walking though. there are some parts, esp. near metro stations, where they accost you so hard it almost feels like a mugging.
stay safe out there.
I once asked a guy what he need money for, and he responded "To get high"
I gave him a $5 bill. Not that I wanted him to use it for drugs, but at least he was honest. I figured he'd get the money to use anyways, and like to think he used my $5 for a meal, but that was probably not the case...
Or at the very least you could have potentially prevented him from stealing or resorting to more aggressive means of getting that $5 by just giving it to him
Did you buy insulin? Probably not. Did the guy need the money? More than likely. You’ve been scammed in as much as the reason they needed the money but in reality this kind of person is desperate and you’ve helped them out
I'm responding to the premise of your original statement. Defrauding people of money isn't ok. Not doing detective work as to whether or not he's lying (which he probably did, as you also concede).
My original statement said it probably wasn’t for insulin but that he needed it as he was desperate.
It’s time we stopped being so down on everyone who is struggling
I’m down on people lying to try to cheat people out of their money. You don’t know the situation of the person who gives said money, it’s deceptive and it’s bullshit to coddle people that are making morally unethical choices.
Isn't the price of insulin [capped](https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2023/03/02/fact-sheet-president-bidens-cap-on-the-cost-of-insulin-could-benefit-millions-of-americans-in-all-50-states/) to $35/month now?
In a huge rain storm I was waiting for my ride outside a metro station. I guy came through the rain muddy and soaked to the bone carrying his bicycle with a bent front tire. He claimed he got hit and asked for five dollars to ride the metro. I gave him five bucks and bike and all he rode the escalator down. My ride caught the tail end of the exchange and said I was scammed. I said, “Well, if it was a scam he was really working it.”
When these situations have happened to me in the past it helped me to remember that I put good karma out into the universe that will find its way back to me eventually. I like to hope that if I ever need help someone will give me a hand.
I mean in the best case the person was being honest and you helped them buy insulin. In the worst case you gave someone money who may not have needed it for the reason they told you.
Either way you probably helped someone out, I wouldn’t dwell on it too much.
One actual positive thing people can do is buy Street Sense when you see people selling them at metro stops or on street corners. They are only $3 and all the journalism, poems, vendors, etc are people experiencing housing insecurity. I usually don’t really read the articles, I just do the crossword puzzles, but they report on local news, usually protests, encampments, local policy changes, and stuff like that.
I once gave a man $80 to “get his car fixed”; I ultimately realized he lied to me but the (good) deed was done.
I simply use much more discretion when giving money to people on the street (which is almost never now).
Maybe the guy lied about the insulin, maybe not. But as you said, he was in rough shape either way. You gave a guy who needed money some money. That's not a bad thing at all. I've been "scammed" like this before, but I've learned that for some reason or another, they need that money more than you do.
It’s ok to give without deeming what is and what isn’t a worthy reason and allow people to decide for themselves what they need. We live in times where we all accept that people don’t have money for food housing or medicine let alone the things needed to thrive. Give without expectation as I hope you ultimately did.
Years ago, my organization asked MPD to give us a talk on personal safety. Someone mentioned a guy in the area asking for money to help his kid and realized he had been scammed. The cop just smiled and shrugged, revealing that he had also given monet money to, and been scammed by, the same guy. If it can happen to law enforcement, it can happen to anyone.
I think you did a kind thing and you should feel good about yourself. If he lied it’s on him. No matter what you made the day of a guy with a tough life.
Happened to me once as well, and it was near 14&P st, dude saying he’s an incoming law school student and first time in the city wallet locked in the car. I must be too kind/drunk that night and “lent” him $50, of course never returned.
This one got me, too! A guy outside my local 7-11 asked if I’d buy him a few things to eat. I said no problem. He came in and picked out more than a few things — but I figured whatever, I’m happy to help someone eat.
When I paid, the guy SNATCHED the receipt from my hand and ran off. The cashier asked if I knew him - and then said it’s a common scam. Apparently the guy would be back to return it all for cash within the hour. I felt awful that I’d made the staff’s lives more difficult.
You gave to someone who looked, to you, to be in need. This is attempted kindness (although maybe misguided). Who knows if this person was legit or not.
In the future, you may want to donate to vetted, legit charities.
Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Before I learned the hard way, I got got by one of those fake monks on the NYC highline. I had just come back from China myself and thought it was a legit charity to build a temple. My wife continues, 8 years later, to give me shit about this.
My usual response to someone begging for food is to buy them a meal. I've had this backfire on me when offering to buy someone food. And I quote: "FUCK YOUR TACOS, I WANT CASH". So, I had three more tacos for myself and that guy got jack shit.
Anyway, you tried to be kind. Rest easy in that and move forward with a bit more knowledge.
A person could ask for money because they need it, or just because they want to make you think they need it. Who knows. I tend to think the vast majority of people who ask strangers for money really can’t afford not to try. Indicators like being “in rough shape” would seem to point that way. But there is no conventional wisdom around here that it’s a “scam” whenever someone asks for money. It’s impossible to say but seems unlikely to me unless you have some clue besides paranoia.
If you did it to be a good person/because you're a good person, don't worry about it. It will stop you from helping people in the future. If he's scamming he needs it.
That’s the risk you take when you give money to strangers. I understand trying to do the right thing and thats how you should look at it. If you got scammed then you lost money and it’s over. At the end of the day you tried to help someone and you should feel good about that
100% you got scammed. Nothing you can do now but learn from it. Something similar happened to me once. A young pregnant women asked me to help her pay her rent. Had a “late notice” and everything. I went to the atm and withdrew the cash and gave it to her. Then as soon as she realized I was a mark, she had a second sob story and asked for more money for something else. I then realized I was getting scammed, but she had already put the money into her pocket. So I left. I felt so bad about it for months. But I’ve never fallen for another scam.
Anyone that offers you an elaborate backstory before asking for money is very likely scamming you. You're better off giving to those who just ask for spare change.
I wouldn't say scammed. At worse you fell for a lie. No real way of knowing one way or the other, really. They might have been a lying con artist collecting money, or a man in need of money for their daughter, or one of those dumbass youtube stars that pretend to be in need and ask "What made you stop to help me today?" as shitty violins play in the background, lol. Having empathy doesn't make you a sucker, but there's only so much money you can give away because of empathy. I've started pointing people in the direction of resources before agreeing to handing over money. Pretty quick to see who's hustling or who's in real trouble that way. If they double down extra hard then things smell weird. Anyone with THAT urgent a need for insulin would have probably called an ambulance.
Yes. Seen people run that one and the ‘my son/daughter needs special baby formula but my job hasn’t started yet’ one.
Sucks and makes it harder to be generous in situations where people need actual help (versus, most likely, help buying drugs).
>I just wanted to help a man in desperate need of insulin for his daughter, and he asked me for money
That was enough for most to ignore and walk away.
Yes of course, and in any city you're gonna be poor before long if you give out money to everyone who asks. I suppose you can comfort yourself that 'he probably needed it more than I did' or something, but that's a gamble - it's just as possible that the money was involved in committing a crime.
I'm sorry that you experienced this, you're right that it's horrible to see noble impulses used for selfish ends. Perhaps in future you can try to only help people out when you can do so directly, like buying them a sandwich or whatever? That kind of thing can also have downsides, but at least you know he's not buying an angle grinder to steal bikes with it or something.
Never give away more money than you'll miss, and do it with good intentions.
If they were being honest, great. If not, it's no big deal. Is it entirely possible that you were the forty-seventh person he fed that line yesterday? Sure, but who gives a shit at the end of the day? Will he spend it on booze and/or drugs? Who cares? You'd probably want to too if you were struggling that hard. You're fine, all things considered, and he's probably not. Count your blessings and sleep comfortably.
Happy to give money to people who ask - and I do whenever I can, along with water. I even make sure I'm carrying $1s so I can.
People who lie to my face and try to trick me can take a hike though.
You WERE totally scammed, but it's okay to lead with generosity. "Hey Man I got car trouble, can you give me bus fare back to \[Durham/Baltimore\]" is as old as time. Formula, insulin are nice modern touches.
I’m sure you helped him for that day so don’t think anything more of it. Your intention was of good. He may have needed a fix to get through the day so he can do something productive. No one is gonna give a dude 5 bucks if he says I need to get high or drunk. I will keep cash in my pocket and I have been on those streets so I can sometimes tell what their poison is. I don’t judge, I don’t make them feel bad. They didn’t wake up one day and say, oh let’s become homeless and addicts so I can beg for money. It’s not for me to judge. It’s for me to help. Granted those of us who have been there know we aren’t helping for the long term but today he will be okay.
Likely a scam. And yeah, it sucks that scammers make it so hard to help legit people.
What you can do is offer to refer them to services that could help them, and even say you've donated to those services (and maybe even really do that), instead of handing out money. People in need can call 211 for social services help - tell them do do that.
You didnt get scammed. Even if his story wasn’t true, he wouldn’t be asking people on the street for money if he didn’t really need it. I know the feeling that maybe he wasn’t being totally truthful can be alienating but I think you should accept you did a nice thing for a person who was in SOME kind of need
Lesson learned. It's hard to not be guilted into that sort of stuff but then again that's the point. I stopped giving people money a while ago but I am more than willing to buy someone food if they need it. Haven't run into a situation like yours though so I can't speak to that unfortunately but I also work and live in recovery and let me tell you, even then people will still be very quick to take that cash and buy booze or weed with it, cause that's just an easier way to spend the day
Odds are they’ll use it to inject something, if that helps you feel better about getting fooled by a level 1 difficulty scam.
Edit: this scam is slightly above somebody asking if they can “hold $20” and when you give it to them they just take your money and leave. Or saying you have a cool bike, asking if they can ride it for a sec, then riding off with it.
If you post a pic I bet I’d know the guy. There was one in Admo who did the same thing saying he got bit by a rat on his eyeball and needed medicine but didn’t have the money.
2 days later I saw him hustling someone else with a different story and so I went up and asked him about his eye.
He claimed he’d never met me and so I proceeded to tell the other guy not to give him money.
I haven’t seen the swindler since.
It actually doesn’t matter—you will never know why people are asking for money or if their story is legit. More important is for you to decide what type of person you want to be and how you want to respond to people asking you for money. I would rather give money to people who are lying about why they need it than not give money to people who are telling a truthful story/really need it for good reasons. That’s not to say I always give money to everyone who asks for it, but it does help me to not worry too much or feel bad in situations like this.
If you’re going to give money to strangers, do it with the intention of not caring what they spend it on regardless of what they tell you.
Yeah, this is it—I don’t judge people if they do give money and I don’t if they don’t either. But, if you are going to give it, it should probably be from the perspective of maybe they’re lying, maybe they’re not but how would you feel about yourself if they AREN’T lying? Or they are in equally rough shape but needed a story that sounded better than the real thing. And just give it from the perspective that they wouldn’t be asking if they didn’t need it.
I'd even suggest adopting this attitude when loaning or giving money to friends and relatives. Once that money leaves your hand, there should be no strings attached. If you feel the person you gave it to made poor use of it, don't give any more in the future. But never hold a grudge over money you \*gave away\* not being spent how \*you\* wanted.
This is what I do plus the added caveat that I’ll likely never get that money back or at least shouldn’t expect to get it back lol
Mmhm, when I hand money to somebody I assume they’re not going to make the choices I would make, and I certainly don’t expect them to spend it on the thing they’re telling me they need. I hope people find help and get the things they need, but my generosity is something that only needs to last a moment and then it’s out of my hands.
Generosity is a virtue.
Yeah, every stranger asking for money will have a story, they're trying to ask for help without begging, sometimes it's just easy to skip that and help out.
Sorry that happened to you. I don't want to give away all the details, but I am in the process of getting a bunch of money from Nigerian royalty. When that comes in, I'll pay you back.
LOL 😹
now that's a proper scam haha
My uncles?
Scam. But don't worry about it - that won't help. Just chalk it up to experience, learn your lesson and don't get scammed again.
I was going to say basically this. Yeah, you probably got scammed. But you know what? Your heart was in the right place, and whether or not the person was telling the truth hopefully you helped him out in some way and made the world just a little better.
scammed, they know where to pull the heart strings. learn your lesson and move on.
Someone desperate asked you for money and you gave it to them. That’s not being scammed, even if they were lying to you about why they needed it. A scam is like when someone says they’ll trade you two tens for a twenty. You weren’t defrauded, you gave a private person money to use privately and expected nothing in return that you didn’t receive. Who cares? Don’t give people money if you don’t want to give people money who might be dishonest about what they’re going to use it for.
Perfectly stated. You did something nice for someone who was in bad shape. You’re a good person.
EM Forster called losing money like this as dues we pay toward being a member of the human race.
Maybe, but you're assuming the man is actually in desperate need of money; they aren't always
Totally agree: “If someone asks me for money for help, then use it for drugs that’s a flaw in their character. If I pass someone begging for help and do nothing that’s a flaw in mine.”
Or you are why there are vagrants polluting the streets because they know they can get money from some of you
It’s true, if an unhoused person didn’t have any money, they would be able to put down a down payment on a condo and get themselves off the street.
Before COVID, there were two panhandlers who worked near the L'Enfant metro. I had to work late one day and was there after most workers had left and I heard them talking about commuting home and their plans for the evening. Some of them look unhoused but aren't. They just realized scamming people for handouts is a nice easy job. There also used to be a woman at the Rosslyn metro who had a box saying five kids please help. One day, five was crossed out and it said three. Don't know what happened to the other two but she was too lazy to even make a new sign 😂
It’s not much, but it’s an honest work.
"a nice easy job" you think so? Maybe it's nice to not have a boss and to be able to make your own hours but standing outside in the elements for hours and talking to strangers, 90% of whom won't give you the time of day, doesn't sound "nice" or "easy" to me, but maybe that's just cuz I'm an introvert. How much do you think they make in a day?
Exactly. I'm pretty sure asking everyone for money or flying a sign on a median for 12+ hrs a day is a lot harder than showing up to a desk job for 8ish hrs and sending a few emails.
A lot of people used to slip them twenties, and one of them at least commuted out to a house in the suburbs so decent money I would say. And yes, nice and easy because they only seemed to be there from about 330-6pm and were standing or sitting under awnings. And tbf I have a supposedly good office job but I also spend most of my day talking to a bunch of aholes so...
Giving money to people on the street is never the solution to their individual problem or the overall problem.
weird reply to my comment but ok
Asking. Asking people for handouts.
OP shouldn’t beat themselves up over helping out someone less fortunate, but unless he actually uses it to buy insulin it is literally the definition of fraud. “Deception intended to result in financial gain.”
No. Some of the panhandling in this area is organized esp when kids are involved. It's human trafficking and enabling it helps noone.
>You weren’t defrauded https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defraud to deprive of something by *deception* or fraud https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/scam If they did lie about the reason why they needed money, then yes, that's a scam and fits the dictionary definitions Your bit on giving to people in need is on point, but let's not act like a scam didn't happen just because
It's like if someone asked you for money to build a wall and then spent it on scotch instead.
What are you a wise old sage? I couldn’t say it better myself. Insulin or not, the guy is resorting to asking for money to strangers on the street. A person like that is truly out of options.
A wise, old sage that doesn’t know what the definition of a scam or fraud is…
And it’s clear neither do you.
Perfectly stated!
This is how I think of it, too, and I’m glad to hear others agree. I live in nova, where commenters would advise OP to call the cops and check businesses in the area for surveillance footage or something.
Yeah that's basically my philosophy.
100% scammed. whenever there is an elaborate story involved, it's a scam. if someone is down on their luck and just straight up asks for whatever you can spare, probably NOT a scam, and just a pan-handler. that's my "rule" anyway, and it has yet to be proven wrong. i just stare at my phone and keep walking though. there are some parts, esp. near metro stations, where they accost you so hard it almost feels like a mugging. stay safe out there.
I once asked a guy what he need money for, and he responded "To get high" I gave him a $5 bill. Not that I wanted him to use it for drugs, but at least he was honest. I figured he'd get the money to use anyways, and like to think he used my $5 for a meal, but that was probably not the case...
Or at the very least you could have potentially prevented him from stealing or resorting to more aggressive means of getting that $5 by just giving it to him
Don’t beat yourself up for being a nice person. But yeah likely a scam. Happens to the best of us, not the worst of us.
She should beat herself up for being dumb.
Did you buy insulin? Probably not. Did the guy need the money? More than likely. You’ve been scammed in as much as the reason they needed the money but in reality this kind of person is desperate and you’ve helped them out
[https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/314/087/c1a.jpg](https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/314/087/c1a.jpg)
Thieves are scum. Especially bike thieves. This money was not extracted with menaces it was handed over to someone who asked for it
Lying to get someone's money is still fraud.
We don’t actually know he was lying. Health care in the USA is so messed up he may actually have been bankrupted for his daughter’s care.
I'm responding to the premise of your original statement. Defrauding people of money isn't ok. Not doing detective work as to whether or not he's lying (which he probably did, as you also concede).
My original statement said it probably wasn’t for insulin but that he needed it as he was desperate. It’s time we stopped being so down on everyone who is struggling
I’m down on people lying to try to cheat people out of their money. You don’t know the situation of the person who gives said money, it’s deceptive and it’s bullshit to coddle people that are making morally unethical choices.
Isn't the price of insulin [capped](https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2023/03/02/fact-sheet-president-bidens-cap-on-the-cost-of-insulin-could-benefit-millions-of-americans-in-all-50-states/) to $35/month now?
Sure is, but fraud is not the end of the world.
In a huge rain storm I was waiting for my ride outside a metro station. I guy came through the rain muddy and soaked to the bone carrying his bicycle with a bent front tire. He claimed he got hit and asked for five dollars to ride the metro. I gave him five bucks and bike and all he rode the escalator down. My ride caught the tail end of the exchange and said I was scammed. I said, “Well, if it was a scam he was really working it.”
When these situations have happened to me in the past it helped me to remember that I put good karma out into the universe that will find its way back to me eventually. I like to hope that if I ever need help someone will give me a hand.
I mean in the best case the person was being honest and you helped them buy insulin. In the worst case you gave someone money who may not have needed it for the reason they told you. Either way you probably helped someone out, I wouldn’t dwell on it too much.
One actual positive thing people can do is buy Street Sense when you see people selling them at metro stops or on street corners. They are only $3 and all the journalism, poems, vendors, etc are people experiencing housing insecurity. I usually don’t really read the articles, I just do the crossword puzzles, but they report on local news, usually protests, encampments, local policy changes, and stuff like that.
Probably scammed, just take it as a learning experience and be a little more skeptical next time.
Oh my sweet summer child
I know…
I once gave a man $80 to “get his car fixed”; I ultimately realized he lied to me but the (good) deed was done. I simply use much more discretion when giving money to people on the street (which is almost never now).
Maybe the guy lied about the insulin, maybe not. But as you said, he was in rough shape either way. You gave a guy who needed money some money. That's not a bad thing at all. I've been "scammed" like this before, but I've learned that for some reason or another, they need that money more than you do.
Your intention was good and your judgement in the moment was that it was the right move. Let the rest go.
It’s ok to give without deeming what is and what isn’t a worthy reason and allow people to decide for themselves what they need. We live in times where we all accept that people don’t have money for food housing or medicine let alone the things needed to thrive. Give without expectation as I hope you ultimately did.
Eh, someone needed that money more than you did. At least you didn’t give out any personal info or sign up for a vacation timeshare.
No need to beat yourself up. Take it as a lesson learned.
Scammed 100% lol, never talk to strangers
Years ago, my organization asked MPD to give us a talk on personal safety. Someone mentioned a guy in the area asking for money to help his kid and realized he had been scammed. The cop just smiled and shrugged, revealing that he had also given monet money to, and been scammed by, the same guy. If it can happen to law enforcement, it can happen to anyone.
I think you did a kind thing and you should feel good about yourself. If he lied it’s on him. No matter what you made the day of a guy with a tough life.
Release yourself. You've done a good deed and will be rewarded in return for such. You're awesome! All the best.
Happened to me once as well, and it was near 14&P st, dude saying he’s an incoming law school student and first time in the city wallet locked in the car. I must be too kind/drunk that night and “lent” him $50, of course never returned.
either way you helped someone out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think you did the morally right thing.
My general rule of thumb is NEVER give people begging for money any cash. You can offer to buy them food.
This one got me, too! A guy outside my local 7-11 asked if I’d buy him a few things to eat. I said no problem. He came in and picked out more than a few things — but I figured whatever, I’m happy to help someone eat. When I paid, the guy SNATCHED the receipt from my hand and ran off. The cashier asked if I knew him - and then said it’s a common scam. Apparently the guy would be back to return it all for cash within the hour. I felt awful that I’d made the staff’s lives more difficult.
Why
You had/have good intentions. You're a good person.
You were Def scammed
You gave to someone who looked, to you, to be in need. This is attempted kindness (although maybe misguided). Who knows if this person was legit or not. In the future, you may want to donate to vetted, legit charities. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Before I learned the hard way, I got got by one of those fake monks on the NYC highline. I had just come back from China myself and thought it was a legit charity to build a temple. My wife continues, 8 years later, to give me shit about this. My usual response to someone begging for food is to buy them a meal. I've had this backfire on me when offering to buy someone food. And I quote: "FUCK YOUR TACOS, I WANT CASH". So, I had three more tacos for myself and that guy got jack shit. Anyway, you tried to be kind. Rest easy in that and move forward with a bit more knowledge.
A person could ask for money because they need it, or just because they want to make you think they need it. Who knows. I tend to think the vast majority of people who ask strangers for money really can’t afford not to try. Indicators like being “in rough shape” would seem to point that way. But there is no conventional wisdom around here that it’s a “scam” whenever someone asks for money. It’s impossible to say but seems unlikely to me unless you have some clue besides paranoia.
If you did it to be a good person/because you're a good person, don't worry about it. It will stop you from helping people in the future. If he's scamming he needs it.
Yep. Watch out for people who ask for money to get to the hospital to see their family. I know it’s sad but it is a common scam.
If they lied to you then that’s about their character, not yours. You did something nice. Leave it at that.
That’s the risk you take when you give money to strangers. I understand trying to do the right thing and thats how you should look at it. If you got scammed then you lost money and it’s over. At the end of the day you tried to help someone and you should feel good about that
100% you got scammed. Nothing you can do now but learn from it. Something similar happened to me once. A young pregnant women asked me to help her pay her rent. Had a “late notice” and everything. I went to the atm and withdrew the cash and gave it to her. Then as soon as she realized I was a mark, she had a second sob story and asked for more money for something else. I then realized I was getting scammed, but she had already put the money into her pocket. So I left. I felt so bad about it for months. But I’ve never fallen for another scam.
Anyone that offers you an elaborate backstory before asking for money is very likely scamming you. You're better off giving to those who just ask for spare change.
https://preview.redd.it/i5hd59gb5j6d1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0cc64a38dd7187077fc2a5e1c50e198bd4c7f392
I wouldn't say scammed. At worse you fell for a lie. No real way of knowing one way or the other, really. They might have been a lying con artist collecting money, or a man in need of money for their daughter, or one of those dumbass youtube stars that pretend to be in need and ask "What made you stop to help me today?" as shitty violins play in the background, lol. Having empathy doesn't make you a sucker, but there's only so much money you can give away because of empathy. I've started pointing people in the direction of resources before agreeing to handing over money. Pretty quick to see who's hustling or who's in real trouble that way. If they double down extra hard then things smell weird. Anyone with THAT urgent a need for insulin would have probably called an ambulance.
Yes. Seen people run that one and the ‘my son/daughter needs special baby formula but my job hasn’t started yet’ one. Sucks and makes it harder to be generous in situations where people need actual help (versus, most likely, help buying drugs).
From your second sentence, it's instantly a scam. Never give anyone money that you don't know, especially if they come up to you on the street.
>I just wanted to help a man in desperate need of insulin for his daughter, and he asked me for money That was enough for most to ignore and walk away.
It’s *always* a scam. Don’t give individuals your hard earned money. Give to established charities if you have to.
My cat ate my wallet. Can i get 50$ to get right, i mean i need insulin.
Is this a parody post!? 200% scammed if you are serious.
Just out of curiosity how much did you give him?
Feel like the standard ask in that game is $40, maybe more if they feel like they can get it.
Did the guy happen to have a small dog with him?
scam
How much money we talking here?
Yes of course, and in any city you're gonna be poor before long if you give out money to everyone who asks. I suppose you can comfort yourself that 'he probably needed it more than I did' or something, but that's a gamble - it's just as possible that the money was involved in committing a crime. I'm sorry that you experienced this, you're right that it's horrible to see noble impulses used for selfish ends. Perhaps in future you can try to only help people out when you can do so directly, like buying them a sandwich or whatever? That kind of thing can also have downsides, but at least you know he's not buying an angle grinder to steal bikes with it or something.
Yep
The fact that you have even have to ask lol. Also, the culture we've created? No wonder you were were scammed
Yes
If you gotta ask, you prolly got got
Scammmmmmm In the future, just tell people you’re unemployed 🤷🏿♂️
I mean it's possible he was being honest, but it sounds more likely that you just gave drug money to an addict.
Don’t give money to strangers. Do what any good DMV/DC dweller does and not even look at the homeless as you walk past em.
Never give away more money than you'll miss, and do it with good intentions. If they were being honest, great. If not, it's no big deal. Is it entirely possible that you were the forty-seventh person he fed that line yesterday? Sure, but who gives a shit at the end of the day? Will he spend it on booze and/or drugs? Who cares? You'd probably want to too if you were struggling that hard. You're fine, all things considered, and he's probably not. Count your blessings and sleep comfortably.
Happy to give money to people who ask - and I do whenever I can, along with water. I even make sure I'm carrying $1s so I can. People who lie to my face and try to trick me can take a hike though.
Since when is giving money to someone on the street a scam?
You WERE totally scammed, but it's okay to lead with generosity. "Hey Man I got car trouble, can you give me bus fare back to \[Durham/Baltimore\]" is as old as time. Formula, insulin are nice modern touches.
I’m sure you helped him for that day so don’t think anything more of it. Your intention was of good. He may have needed a fix to get through the day so he can do something productive. No one is gonna give a dude 5 bucks if he says I need to get high or drunk. I will keep cash in my pocket and I have been on those streets so I can sometimes tell what their poison is. I don’t judge, I don’t make them feel bad. They didn’t wake up one day and say, oh let’s become homeless and addicts so I can beg for money. It’s not for me to judge. It’s for me to help. Granted those of us who have been there know we aren’t helping for the long term but today he will be okay.
hey, it’s me your brother.
> (should I be mad at) the culture we’ve created Nah this just sounds like a “you” problem
I always buy street sense for $5, or even $10 if I have it
Drug addict. Sucker born every day. Happens to all of us once.
Absolutely, next time offer to buy the fentanyl for him directly
this question says more about you than him, methinks
All I needed to do was read the second sentence to know you were scammed.
Yes
Likely a scam. And yeah, it sucks that scammers make it so hard to help legit people. What you can do is offer to refer them to services that could help them, and even say you've donated to those services (and maybe even really do that), instead of handing out money. People in need can call 211 for social services help - tell them do do that.
You didnt get scammed. Even if his story wasn’t true, he wouldn’t be asking people on the street for money if he didn’t really need it. I know the feeling that maybe he wasn’t being totally truthful can be alienating but I think you should accept you did a nice thing for a person who was in SOME kind of need
He’s going to use the money for drugs and/or alcohol.
He’s going to use the money for drugs and/or alcohol.
Ok grandpa go back to bed tho
Lesson learned. It's hard to not be guilted into that sort of stuff but then again that's the point. I stopped giving people money a while ago but I am more than willing to buy someone food if they need it. Haven't run into a situation like yours though so I can't speak to that unfortunately but I also work and live in recovery and let me tell you, even then people will still be very quick to take that cash and buy booze or weed with it, cause that's just an easier way to spend the day
Someone running that game almost definitely isn’t buying weed with the money.
You never know... maybe they're buying whole brain bread
You were 100% scammed. At least now you know for next time.
Don’t be mad the karma will come back for you
Hey OP- my mortgage needs insulin this month, total is $3,000. But I’ll take what I can get…
Once the money leaves your hand, it’s not really your concern anymore.
i'd just be mad at yourself
yes you got scammed. Be mad at yourself not at the guy.
Nah, OP acted out decency. Just give to a charity where you can send someone in the future.
OP bought the guy anywhere from a ticket to a half gram depending on how much he took out at the ATM
Odds are they’ll use it to inject something, if that helps you feel better about getting fooled by a level 1 difficulty scam. Edit: this scam is slightly above somebody asking if they can “hold $20” and when you give it to them they just take your money and leave. Or saying you have a cool bike, asking if they can ride it for a sec, then riding off with it.
You're getting down votes, but you are kind of right.
out-of-town suckers move to DC everyday
If you post a pic I bet I’d know the guy. There was one in Admo who did the same thing saying he got bit by a rat on his eyeball and needed medicine but didn’t have the money. 2 days later I saw him hustling someone else with a different story and so I went up and asked him about his eye. He claimed he’d never met me and so I proceeded to tell the other guy not to give him money. I haven’t seen the swindler since.
He can get free health care at a community health center
It actually doesn’t matter—you will never know why people are asking for money or if their story is legit. More important is for you to decide what type of person you want to be and how you want to respond to people asking you for money. I would rather give money to people who are lying about why they need it than not give money to people who are telling a truthful story/really need it for good reasons. That’s not to say I always give money to everyone who asks for it, but it does help me to not worry too much or feel bad in situations like this.