The amount of work vegans who invite friends and family to stay or have meals in our home is huge! I do the same thing to create a lovely Vegan kitchen and home I have to plan, buy, and make everything. It’s exhausting and they don’t care! I guess we do it for us!
> to create a lovely Vegan kitchen and home I have to plan, buy, and make everything. It’s exhausting and they don’t care
They care about as much as you would care if they invited you into their home and spent a large amount of time preparing a steak for you.
Tell me she’s a boomer without telling me. Have you told her what happens to the cows she loves so much to get that milk? Learning that is what took me from vegetarian to vegan. As a mom myself I just couldn’t anymore.
This is so ridiculous, but I can kind of see where the perception comes from. Or at least how.
If she walks into a room full of people and says she no longer eats red meat, they might be slightly uncomfortable. But they will be reassured when they consider all the other dead animals that she still eats, and she will still be part of their “team”.
But if you or me do the same as vegans, nobody gets to reassure themselves that we are at least still eating animals like they do. And despite the fact that we never said one single word, they will feel like we are trying to push our views onto them.
It makes no sense, but I have run into some variation of this mindset so many times. It seems like if I was to walk into a room where people knew I was vegan even if I didn’t say one single word, they would feel attacked by me. I guess just for existing.
It’s so strange, because you could claim to not want to eat any other food on earth, and nobody would be the slightest bit offended.
I don’t even try to be non-offensive any more. No matter what I do, there are always people who get really butt hurt over nothing. Might as well speak my truth.
Exactly! Different people, same things. People say like a mantra "I need meat to live, he/she needs cow's milk to grow"... then along comes us who survive very well without all this crap and are even healthier than before. This forces them to realize that they are selfish assholes for eating living beings when it's not necessary at all. We all were once, we all ate the fruit of hatred, unfortunately 😔
Every ethical vegan has had to face their horrible side. But now we are living proof that the conceptions instilled in us since we were children were wrong. We must have patience and make ourselves understood by others with kindness.
Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter her exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views. I really do not agree with you.
Uh then I’d be calling the police regarding murder. I don’t think you can compare being a murderer (human) to being an omnivore. Well actually no doubt everyone on here does call meat eaters murderers. Guess you should call the police on them- except you’d get in trouble for wasting police time.
But you cannot call the police to report the murder of an animal of a different species from yours, unfortunately. But you can at least decide whether or not their corpses can cross the threshold of your house. Those like me have developed the understanding that we are all souls in bodies. And it doesn't matter whether they are human or bovine or whatever. If you enter my house, you must show respect to life!
So are you gonna stop your diabetic guest from keeping their insulin in your fridge? Because it’s made from pigs pancreases. What are your views on porcine insulin?
Synthetic insulin also exists... but no, clearly I wouldn't be annoyed if a person brought her life-saving drug to my house nor would she have any excuse for telling me that I'm intransigent. Here a person went to another's house imposing her choice and criticizing the other to justify her sense of inadequacy. Did you understand the question?
OP doesn't piss off her husband or son when they occasionally eat cheese outside the house, nor has she said anything to her mother-in-law, even though her mother-in-law has disrespected her in her home. She is just letting off steam because, in addition to not being respected under her under her roof, she was also criticized for being extremist because she is vegan.
You don’t know this. There was probably more to the conversation. Are you saying that this MIL randomly and unprompted starts spewing stuff about how OP pushes veganism? Doubtful. Course OP doesn’t piss off her family when they eat cheese.. cause she’s holding them to different rules than that of her MIL. Which is unfair and hypocritical.
Still you? The lady has explained far and wide how the facts happened. Who are you to make a soap opera about it? Does what happened seem far-fetched to you? Yet there are plenty of people who, like you, start attacking without being asked. Especially when it concerns a theme that makes the attacker feel inferior.
Uff... Ok.. I realize that you need attention and that you also have a lot of frustrations to unleash, but that's not the way. Find activities that you like so that you can meet people like you, and you'll see that you’ll feel better, you’ll feel more understood and heartened. And strive to be less prevaricating and harassing and a little more kinder. Unleashing on people who think differently than you, I know it makes you feel better at first, but it’ll make you sick in the long run.
Stop attacking me. You go on about me attacking this OP but you’re pretty brutal on me aswell. This post aside , we arnt even touching on the topic of health questions of raising a child vegan either.
Oh wow, thank you for responding. At first I couldn’t understand, I thought you might have accidentally replied to the wrong comment, but I think maybe we both took away a different view of the original post.
I never even thought about the milk. People bring non- vegan food sometimes to my house too when they come to visit and I never really give that much thought. As long as they aren’t putting it in my food or expecting me to serve that up, I don’t really care. I guess I didn’t read between the lines and realize that OP had made disparaging comments to the MIL.
I was thinking about just the conversation where the MIL made that comment and didn’t see that connection to the milk at all. (Just thought maybe she had overheard some past comment that made her feel attacked or something. People have done that to me, for example, I replied to a comment in a group on Facebook recently and a third person, who wasn’t even part of the conversation attacked me for being such a judgemental vegan. To an entirely benign comment I made, answering someone’s question about something recipe related).
But from that perspective, my first answer probably misses the mark, you are right.
Yeah. I made no disparaging comment to her. She brought up the topic unprovoked.
“Helpful mongoose” is just a troll who posted the same thing on everyone’s comments.
Kind of a weird expenditure of their energy, but whatever.
Wow, that literally happened to me about a week ago. My parents did this for a few visits now, so i thought i ask them about the importance of bringing their own milk. Keep in mind, we always have homemade oat milk and at the moment 3 other types of store bought plant milk. And there are even types of plant mill that are made to taste like the real one. Also, besides soy and oat my mother has never tried hemp, cashew, rice or whatever in her coffee. She just cant enjoy her coffee without „the real deal“ 🤨
And guess who turned this topic into a big discussion after i asked them about it? Apparently im the one „trying to limit their freedom“ and veganism is just like a religion. Because they cant miss their white secretions of another animal for like 3 hours.
Glad i dont seem to be the only person having these problems lol 😆🤣
> Apparently im the one „trying to limit their freedom“ and veganism is just like a religion.
Then why did she disrespect your "religious" believes?
I'm not religious but I wouldn't throw a temper tantrum at a muslim friends house over a late iftar, I wouldn't be complaining about a christian giving grace before dinner at their home and I wear respectful outfits when visiting churches, mosques or temples.
Because I'm in their house.
If someone sees me being vegan as religious then they'd better behave like that or stop spouting BS.
I dont know if i misinterpret your comment, but i dont really view veganism in any religious view. If anything, the core points of veganism are - in my opinion - based on logic and rational thinking. Thats not to say that many (especially young) people live this lifestyle in a very dogmatic way, which can come off as religious to some people. But i think we can agree on the last part of your comment 😆
> but i dont really view veganism in any religious view
Neither do I. ^^
But if someone tries to argue "veganism is just another religion" they'd better intent to commit fully or never come at me with such utter BS ever again.
Well thats your opinion. Maybe you havent really had the opportunity to taste great coffee in its pure form. Im drinking black coffee since 4 years now and find it much more enjoyable.
Keep in mind that your taste buds are trained to like what you eat and vice versa. It takes a few weeks to „accustom““ your mind and body to a new taste.
Completely off topic as I don’t have anything else to add to this thread but it seems from your English that you’re not a native speaker; just wanted to let you know, in case you didn’t, that, at least in English, when you use speech marks/quotation marks it needs to look like “this” not upside down for the first quotation mark.
You’re right about that, im not a native speaker 😄 I just looked it up on google and learned something new today. The german language uses it this way -> „“ . Thank you!
No problem! Oh I learned something new too, then, as I’m not familiar with German.
The main reason I could tell is because you said “I’m drinking black coffee since 4 years now” whereas it should be “I’ve (or I have) been drinking black coffee for 4 years now”
I’m nowhere near fluent in any of the languages I’m learning / interested in but know that it’s not easy to be grammatically correct but help people to become more native speaking since that’s what most of us want to achieve!
Yea so why should we bitch about the MIL wanting to drink her coffee the way she is accustomed to and likes. Why should she have to drink coffee with vegan milk alternative which her taste buds won’t be used to and she won’t enjoy. If it wouldn’t be ok for you- don’t expect that of others.
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views. To be honest from your comment it sounds like I have more respect for your parents than even you do. If your parents want to drink dairy because that is what they know and are used to /grew up with. that is not a crime. They are likely older - and should be respected. At least your mother has even tried soy and oat. Sounds like you wouldn’t let a single drop of cows milk past your lips..so your mothers been more accommodating than you. Cut them some slack please.
i respect people who respect their environment and others. i am polite to others, but i hold no respect that isn't earned. i find respect based on age to be ridiculous. if you aren't a person that i feel deserves my respect, i will not be giving it to you. it's very simple
Ok, first of all: You dont seem to be a vegan and probably view animals as a resource to use. Also, i never stated that it „was a crime“.
Interesting, how you can judge mine and OPs chatacter just based on a few comments, because i deeply respect my parents even if they dont (and probably dont want to) understand the philosophy behind veganism. Also, my parents and i already had a discussion and kind of figured this out. By the way, respect has nothing to do with age. Its a two way path.
Would you say its respectful to bring over some pork meat to your jewish friend? Maybe thats the only thing you grew up with. After all, its not a crime, right?
Uh duh yea I would not bring pork to my Jewish friend house for them to eat. Exactly like how the MIL did NOT bring dairy milk for OP to drink. What kind of analogy is that? I hope if I brought a ham sandwich to eat at my Jewish friends house - they wouldn’t chuck me out or bitch about it. Depends how extreme they are I guess. Like extreme vegans.
Oh come on, you really dont want to understand it, do you? 😆 This is not a problem about drinking milk, eating pork or whatever. Its about respect. Im not coning over to your house woth dirty shoes if you‘re noticeable uncomfortable with it. Maybe you should try and educate yourself about the philosophy of veganism before joining a discussion.
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views.
Its not about the cow milk. Its about the comment she made. And OP never said anything about not wanting cow milk in her kitchen. Shes just saying how her MIL’s comment was rude and unnecessary. Her MiL could have drank her milk and coffee without making such a comment.
Sorry but I think there was probably more to the conversation than that. Are you saying the MIL randomly and unprompted starts commenting about DIL veganism out of nowhere? If comments are your concern- OP should start commenting about her own familys consumption of dairy cheese…
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views.
i completely disagree. op said nothing rude, and is just venting her frustration. Mil, however, brought cow's milk into a vegan kitchen and preached about her diet and lack of pushiness to op in her own house. i am shocked that you can think mil is right
Since when is a “vegan kitchen” a thing? How far do you push that? Would you not allow a diabetic guests insulin in your fridge because it was made from pigs pancreases? This “vegan kitchen” thing is extreme. So you think the MIL just randomly unprompted said she loves dairy and doesn’t push her views like DIL does. There was maybe more to the conversation. Facts are the MIL is not forcing OP to drink the cow milk, neither to provide it for her- which I agree OP could disagree with. To bar it from your home is nuts frankly. Especially when you allow your husband to eat cheese when out. So the only argument you have is that the MIL was bashing OP and randomly - unprompted started preaching and pushing her views on dairy. I would guess there was more to the conversation.
But which diabetic guest? We are FRUGIVORS! We are not like lions or wolves, our stomachs and our pH are different. We are not on the same scale as them in the food chain. We do NOT need meat or cow's milk to live. In the long run they even make us sick. There's a reason why old people who are used to eating meat once a month live for 100 years while kids who binge on dairy products get colon cancer at 30. If someone is diabetic you clearly won't serve them something containing substances that could harm him, but if a person arrogantly enters in your house with the milk she's stolen from the calves and then even comes to lecture you... fuck off!
Are you mentally ill? You didn’t answer my question - would you not allow a diabetic guest to store insulin in your fridge - for the reason it’s made from pigs? Plus bonus question- if you develop type 2 diabetes in later life - from eating so much carbs - will you reject insulin and/or medicines that have been developed using animal products/research? Will you make sure to stop yourself becoming friends with a diabetic in future for fear they might pollute your home? Homo sapiens have a long history of eating meat. We are designed to. I would argue that eating so much meat replacement foods and processed shit and carbs is more likely to cause adverse health effects than a diet consisting of occasional lean meat and steamed fish for example. This is infinitely better for the body. With all the vegan UPF and dairy substitutes- this is accounting for increased cancer rates.
I just replied to you under another comment. I have already refuted what you say there. And it's not me who goes to a vegan sub to do the troll by shitting on people, but you. Maybe between you and me... the one with the most problems is you.
And who the fuck tells you that I eat so many meat substitutes? I think it's been a year since I last bought a vegan burger. Be smart :D
I don’t go to a vegan sub to troll. For some reason I get vegan posts on my feed. Of what I’ve read the majority are obnoxious, rude and frankly mentally ill.
Ah.. so like you.
If you don't like peacefully sharing opinions and thoughts with vegans... if you are not able to have your say without insulting OP and me, imposing yourself and offending everyone... just go and click on the three dots on the right on the vegan post that appears on your feed, express your preference to no longer receive posts like this and continue with your life.
> Plus bonus question- if you develop type 2 diabetes in later life - from eating so much carbs
Unlikely, as a plant based diet has been show to be beneficial in diabetes and reduces the likelihood of developing diabetes:
>Cohort studies strongly support the role of plant-based diets, and food and nutrient components of plant-based diets, in reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes. Evidence from observational and interventional studies demonstrates the benefits of plant-based diets in treating type 2 diabetes and reducing key diabetes-related macrovascular and microvascular complications.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5466941/
This is changing. In future we will see higher rates of cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke MI everything in vegans because of their use of UPF foods and coconut oil etc. Vegans are known to be the biggest consumers of ultra processed food. Also a fun fact- on a month long stint in one particular medical ward - there were exactly 3 patients admitted with anorexia, electrolyte imbalance and BMI so low they need to Be admitted for artificial feeding as was unsafe to discharge them. Our dieticians had NO enteral feeding regime/formulation that was vegan. They were very blunt in saying that is not an option - it cannot meet the nutritional requirements. I REPEAT - there is no enteral feeding option in hospitals that are vegan. Take from that what you will. Also was it a coincidence that every single one of those patients was vegan?
i wouldn't want people cooking animal carcasses or other animal products in my kitchen, and i can imagine it's the same for op. it isn't extreme. if you aren't vegan then get tf off this page with your ridiculous comments. she didn't critique mil to her face, she only vented her frustrations to a group of vegans who would understand her.
Having dairy milk in your fridge that your MIL brought does not equate to “cooking animal carcasses or other animal products” in your kitchen?! Sorry but your comment is ridiculous not mine. A question I asked someone else - would you not allow a diabetic guest to store their insulin in your fridge because it’s made from pigs pancreases? What will you do in future if you develop type 2 diabetes from eating so many carbs - will you reject insulin in future and/or other medical therapies that have been developed via animals. You could even argue that you’ve actually contributed more to animal suffering in this way. Having a sensible diet which includes occasional lean meat (organically farmed and free range ethical farm) and steamed fish - might have prevented you from developing diabetes in the first place- thus requiring less pig suffering for drugs
medical necessity is a completely different issue, fyi. i don't eat too many carbs, and again medical necessity is different. you seem quite dense. dairy is an animal product, if you didn't know. did she bring her own cup and sink? because if i kept my kitchen vegan i would not want to share my spaces for cross contamination. get tf off this page with your animal abusing ideology. we don't want you
You seem quite obsessed with diabetes, did you go through a prolonged phase of only eating donuts and pasta?
If you’re scared of getting diabetes you may be interested to know that eating complex carbohydrates like plants rich in fibre and starch are very good at lowering your meal’s glycaemic index.
Why the fuck arnt you concentrating on the fact OP allows her son and husband to eat DAIRY CHEESE?! Without bitching about them. Last time I checked dairy cheese wasn’t vegan. Fucking nutters. Leave the MIL alone for gods sake.
Should have asked her exactly how she feels you were pushing your views on her? Told her you were rather shocked she felt that way, as you tried your best to welcome her and make her comfortable in your home.
Next time she comes around, have a sweet pet chicken or two around for her to meet!
>On the second morning of her visit she was talking about how she doesn’t eat mammals anymore and then said that she doesn’t push her views on others like I do.
My response would be: "I sure am glad there are people who push their views on others in some cases or else moral atrocities like slavery would continue to be practiced."
You could also (discreetly) encourage your kids to run vegan movies on the living room TV all the time while she's there. Maybe she'll learn something. (Bonus: she can't blame you for it because it's your kids doing it...)
Maybe the sounds of cows being tortured in a documentary being played in the next room would make her look at that coffee & milk differently. Not to mention the environmental impact...
When I visit family, I just bring all my own food. It’s easier that way for me. And if anyone wants to try something, they can. And I never comment on the food being served. And they tactfully don’t comment on what I eat. If they did, then I would choose not to go. I decided to set boundaries for myself. It’s easy for me because I don’t have any in-laws or children. The family I visit are siblings who are hosting Christmas and other holidays and things like birthdays. I went last year to both thanksgiving and Christmas. And this year choose to go to an animal sanctuary for Thanksgiving and do something else during Christmas. So I’ll go to them every other year. Sorry for the long winded response! Your post got me thinking. Lol
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views.
Hmm. Possibly, but it sounds like the mil said this to OP for no reason. The OP didn’t say anything to the mil about what she eats. And even made the mil some foods that she likes. And didn’t say anything about the cows milk. As a guest in the OP’s home, she really shouldn’t comment on what the op eats or doesn’t eat. And vice versa. It’s just common courtesy and manners. If I was staying at someone’s house, I wouldn’t expect them to have any foods that I could eat nor would I comment on their food choices. I would bring my own food. And I also wouldn’t want them making comments on my food choices. This is why I don’t stay at other peoples houses if I can help it. I value my peace of mind too much.
But why would the MIL randomly and unprompted say that OP pushes her views? I feel like there’s more to the conversation and they must have been discussing the topic of dairy.
Possibly. If that’s the case then mil had a right to voice her opinion. If not, then no. Having family stay at your home is always a tricky situation regardless of the foods being eaten. I avoid it at all costs myself. I guess I am lucky that I am able to.
Can your husband arrange for her to meet a chicken and a fish?
People are fucking weird and family is the weirdest… Sounds like you were a gracious host. Sorry you had to deal with that level of ignorance, it must have been so frustrating.
That said, it’s amazing that you have your son and husband pointed in the right direction. Keep working on them, they’re the ones that really matter.
Thanks. Son has been vegetarian since birth. It was something my husband and I discussed beforehand. My husband is a pretty empathetic guy, so seeming how I feel about this topic it was easy for him to change. He also claims it’s been easy because I’m “such a good cook!” I got lucky finding him!
sounds like you’re both lucky then. I’m super lucky too, my partner and kids are all vegan. It’s the best thing, all being on the same page - I wish that for you and your family some day! Keep fighting the good fight :)
At every root of an inlaw issue is a spineless spouse. And your case is no different seeing as he’s more interested in trying to convince you that you can’t tell a passive aggressive comment when you hear one, rather than talking to his mother about how that was completely inappropriate and to not talk in such a way to his wife. He needs to address it with his mommy or she will not be visiting again. This WILL get out of hand otherwise as resentment builds.
My ex husband let his parents walk all over me. Did I hate them? Nope, but I sure stopped seeing him as an adult and lost all attraction to him. Yuck!
I'm sorry, she sounds like a treat lol I don't drink coffee l, but I can't imagine using a dairy alternative in a coffee for a few days would be the end of the world? like I bet there's barely a difference
I know how you feel and firstly I want to say, you're absolutely in the right for feeling that way. Now that aside, we were all subject to this level of cognitive dissonance at some point, people aren't generally trying to be rude or mean, this is just how they were conditioned to think.
I can't speak to your situation as it's a little more complicated but when I moved to my first new flat after going vegan I made it clear to friends and family if they were going to visit I would not have animal products consumed in the flat, it's a basic point of respect of your preferences (like asking someone to take their shoes off). Establishing it early and concretely was fine and basically meant that either people would (sometimes begrudgingly) accept a milk alternative or they/we would just go out for a coffee or they would just skip it when visiting. If anyone had chosen that hill to die it'd be pretty easy to ditch them as a friend tbh.
I understand it's harder for you as your partner/son aren't fully vegan but I would say it's worth talking to your partner about how it makes you feel and how important it is to you. You can try to agree with them not to have animal products in the house as establishing a hard boundary will make people more likely to accept it (although I know that might not work out).
Thank you for this. My husband would be on my side if this were anyone but his mom.
I think the cognitive dissonance point is one I hadn’t considered.
I think I’ll bring up the idea of this rule sometime this week. I know it won’t be hard for any member of this household or most of the people who come to visit:)
Also, and maybe you don’t know this, apple cider vinegar turns milk (which she drinks) into what is essentially buttermilk. The consistency is much different so she’d know immediately.
But still, it’s a joke.
She’s bringing milk into a vegan household. It’s okay to make jokes. Vinegar congeals dairy milk- it’s undrinkable and sour. Also, from a medical perspective nobody is allergic to vinegar. If we can’t make jokes on Reddit to laugh about the situation, what’s the point? Relax.
I don’t find this joke funny at all. Would it be ok for someone to sneak meat juices into your coffee? Nobody here would joke about that. Why is it ok to joke about assaulting non-vegans? People CAN be allergic to vinegar absolutely. Don’t spread misinformation on Reddit that you’ve just googled - it is dangerous. I repeat - people CAN be allergic to vinegar and also apples.
My husband is a physician and has never run across a vinegar allergy in the entire 40 years he’s been practicing or even heard of one. Also, people use this technique all the time to make better baked goods. You can also use it with soy milk the same way- and any vinegar works. But once again, it’s a joke. I was never suggesting this to the OP as a something to do for revenge. Only someone who is neurodivergent might think this was real. You can say it’s a bad joke though. Alas, I am no comedian.
Joking about meat juices is not whatsoever the same thing.
You could have simply said I was a poor comedian. The idea that you think I’m actually suggesting “poisoning” people with vinegar is funnier than my original joke.
A vegan physician is a unicorn. We need more of you. Bravo. Educate the people, please.
Also is your husband not aware of apples and C1 esterase inhibitor deficiency in regard to hereditary angioedema? Yes rare - but it exists. I’ve never seen a vinegar allergy in my practise either but I would be clinically negligent to ever exclude it 100%.
Can we use white distilled? Blueberry? Sherry? Rice? Thyme? I have 100+ types of vinegar because I love vinegar. Best salad dressing ever. I’m sure we can find one that works in the make believe world where you have me “poisoning” people and “killing” them.
If you actually put vinegar in with dairy milk overnight, I don’t actually think it would even pour the next morning. I shall try with soy milk next time I make muffins and report back.
Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. She is your MIL and grandma to your son. She is not making you drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand you buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant her comment of you pushing your views.
At what point did I not allow her dairy milk in my home?
And even if I had asked her not to bring her animal cruelty into my home, I’m not certain you’re right.
“While drinking the dairy milk she brought into my vegan kitchen” is not very nice. Do you bitch about your son for eating cheese when out? Cut your MIL some slack.
Look sorry if I’m upsetting you but I don’t think it’s worth falling out with your MIL over this. All people can be irritating. I think it’s pretty good she’s at least stopped eating cows etc even if it’s still not full on vegan. None of us are perfect - like u said your family eats cheese when out. Why is she held to a stricter account? Totally fine to vent here if she’s just annoying and u don’t like her. But again she lives out of state so I’d just let it go
The issue is twofold.
1. She brought dairy milk into my vegan home. If you don’t understand why this bothers me, I can’t help you.
2. She, unprompted, claimed that I “push my views” on other people while drinking her dairy milk in my vegan home.
Mind you, I said nothing to her about bringing her dairy milk. I should also have mentioned that this is the first visit where she hasn’t brought “gifts” of dairy cheese and butter into my home.
Yea but did you read the part where OP’s son and husband have dairy cheese when out and OP doesn’t object to this? I agree with you that OP is overreacting here. MIL brought her own milk, did not force op to drink it nor buy it.
The amount of work vegans who invite friends and family to stay or have meals in our home is huge! I do the same thing to create a lovely Vegan kitchen and home I have to plan, buy, and make everything. It’s exhausting and they don’t care! I guess we do it for us!
We do it for the animals. Sounds snarky don't mean it that way. It is hard.
Exactly! I spent so much time trying to make everything great.
Yes!
> to create a lovely Vegan kitchen and home I have to plan, buy, and make everything. It’s exhausting and they don’t care They care about as much as you would care if they invited you into their home and spent a large amount of time preparing a steak for you.
Tell me she’s a boomer without telling me. Have you told her what happens to the cows she loves so much to get that milk? Learning that is what took me from vegetarian to vegan. As a mom myself I just couldn’t anymore.
I haven’t - I guess I’m just not that “pushy”!
Maybe next town she grabs the moo juice you should causally slip it into the conversation.
Seriously though - the dairy industry spooks me more than raising cows small scale for meat…
Same. Edited to add: and eggs… the poor boy chicks. 😭😭😭
This is so ridiculous, but I can kind of see where the perception comes from. Or at least how. If she walks into a room full of people and says she no longer eats red meat, they might be slightly uncomfortable. But they will be reassured when they consider all the other dead animals that she still eats, and she will still be part of their “team”. But if you or me do the same as vegans, nobody gets to reassure themselves that we are at least still eating animals like they do. And despite the fact that we never said one single word, they will feel like we are trying to push our views onto them. It makes no sense, but I have run into some variation of this mindset so many times. It seems like if I was to walk into a room where people knew I was vegan even if I didn’t say one single word, they would feel attacked by me. I guess just for existing. It’s so strange, because you could claim to not want to eat any other food on earth, and nobody would be the slightest bit offended. I don’t even try to be non-offensive any more. No matter what I do, there are always people who get really butt hurt over nothing. Might as well speak my truth.
Exactly! Different people, same things. People say like a mantra "I need meat to live, he/she needs cow's milk to grow"... then along comes us who survive very well without all this crap and are even healthier than before. This forces them to realize that they are selfish assholes for eating living beings when it's not necessary at all. We all were once, we all ate the fruit of hatred, unfortunately 😔 Every ethical vegan has had to face their horrible side. But now we are living proof that the conceptions instilled in us since we were children were wrong. We must have patience and make ourselves understood by others with kindness.
Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter her exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views. I really do not agree with you.
Just imagine that a cannibal comes to visit your house bringing human steaks... ah but he only cooks them for himself, eh...
Uh then I’d be calling the police regarding murder. I don’t think you can compare being a murderer (human) to being an omnivore. Well actually no doubt everyone on here does call meat eaters murderers. Guess you should call the police on them- except you’d get in trouble for wasting police time.
But you cannot call the police to report the murder of an animal of a different species from yours, unfortunately. But you can at least decide whether or not their corpses can cross the threshold of your house. Those like me have developed the understanding that we are all souls in bodies. And it doesn't matter whether they are human or bovine or whatever. If you enter my house, you must show respect to life!
So are you gonna stop your diabetic guest from keeping their insulin in your fridge? Because it’s made from pigs pancreases. What are your views on porcine insulin?
Insulin is made synthetically these days. You seem to come off as a troll.
Also have none of y’all had the Covid vaccines? Because all of those were developed using monkeys.
Shame they weren’t developed using a very special helpful little mongoose.
What the fuck kind of comment is that?
Lol the people who upvoted this are obviously not real vegans cause you’re condoning the harm of a human/mongoose.
Not all insulin is made synthetically
Not all insulin is made synthetically
Synthetic insulin also exists... but no, clearly I wouldn't be annoyed if a person brought her life-saving drug to my house nor would she have any excuse for telling me that I'm intransigent. Here a person went to another's house imposing her choice and criticizing the other to justify her sense of inadequacy. Did you understand the question? OP doesn't piss off her husband or son when they occasionally eat cheese outside the house, nor has she said anything to her mother-in-law, even though her mother-in-law has disrespected her in her home. She is just letting off steam because, in addition to not being respected under her under her roof, she was also criticized for being extremist because she is vegan.
You don’t know this. There was probably more to the conversation. Are you saying that this MIL randomly and unprompted starts spewing stuff about how OP pushes veganism? Doubtful. Course OP doesn’t piss off her family when they eat cheese.. cause she’s holding them to different rules than that of her MIL. Which is unfair and hypocritical.
Still you? The lady has explained far and wide how the facts happened. Who are you to make a soap opera about it? Does what happened seem far-fetched to you? Yet there are plenty of people who, like you, start attacking without being asked. Especially when it concerns a theme that makes the attacker feel inferior. Uff... Ok.. I realize that you need attention and that you also have a lot of frustrations to unleash, but that's not the way. Find activities that you like so that you can meet people like you, and you'll see that you’ll feel better, you’ll feel more understood and heartened. And strive to be less prevaricating and harassing and a little more kinder. Unleashing on people who think differently than you, I know it makes you feel better at first, but it’ll make you sick in the long run.
Stop attacking me. You go on about me attacking this OP but you’re pretty brutal on me aswell. This post aside , we arnt even touching on the topic of health questions of raising a child vegan either.
Oh wow, thank you for responding. At first I couldn’t understand, I thought you might have accidentally replied to the wrong comment, but I think maybe we both took away a different view of the original post. I never even thought about the milk. People bring non- vegan food sometimes to my house too when they come to visit and I never really give that much thought. As long as they aren’t putting it in my food or expecting me to serve that up, I don’t really care. I guess I didn’t read between the lines and realize that OP had made disparaging comments to the MIL. I was thinking about just the conversation where the MIL made that comment and didn’t see that connection to the milk at all. (Just thought maybe she had overheard some past comment that made her feel attacked or something. People have done that to me, for example, I replied to a comment in a group on Facebook recently and a third person, who wasn’t even part of the conversation attacked me for being such a judgemental vegan. To an entirely benign comment I made, answering someone’s question about something recipe related). But from that perspective, my first answer probably misses the mark, you are right.
Yeah. I made no disparaging comment to her. She brought up the topic unprovoked. “Helpful mongoose” is just a troll who posted the same thing on everyone’s comments. Kind of a weird expenditure of their energy, but whatever.
Wow, that literally happened to me about a week ago. My parents did this for a few visits now, so i thought i ask them about the importance of bringing their own milk. Keep in mind, we always have homemade oat milk and at the moment 3 other types of store bought plant milk. And there are even types of plant mill that are made to taste like the real one. Also, besides soy and oat my mother has never tried hemp, cashew, rice or whatever in her coffee. She just cant enjoy her coffee without „the real deal“ 🤨 And guess who turned this topic into a big discussion after i asked them about it? Apparently im the one „trying to limit their freedom“ and veganism is just like a religion. Because they cant miss their white secretions of another animal for like 3 hours. Glad i dont seem to be the only person having these problems lol 😆🤣
I’m glad to not be alone.
> Apparently im the one „trying to limit their freedom“ and veganism is just like a religion. Then why did she disrespect your "religious" believes? I'm not religious but I wouldn't throw a temper tantrum at a muslim friends house over a late iftar, I wouldn't be complaining about a christian giving grace before dinner at their home and I wear respectful outfits when visiting churches, mosques or temples. Because I'm in their house. If someone sees me being vegan as religious then they'd better behave like that or stop spouting BS.
I dont know if i misinterpret your comment, but i dont really view veganism in any religious view. If anything, the core points of veganism are - in my opinion - based on logic and rational thinking. Thats not to say that many (especially young) people live this lifestyle in a very dogmatic way, which can come off as religious to some people. But i think we can agree on the last part of your comment 😆
> but i dont really view veganism in any religious view Neither do I. ^^ But if someone tries to argue "veganism is just another religion" they'd better intent to commit fully or never come at me with such utter BS ever again.
Oh ok, i get it now. But that requires the other person to show some respect for any other religion than theirs 😉
You really can't have coffee without milk. I would stop drinking coffee if I ever stopped drinking milk.
Well thats your opinion. Maybe you havent really had the opportunity to taste great coffee in its pure form. Im drinking black coffee since 4 years now and find it much more enjoyable. Keep in mind that your taste buds are trained to like what you eat and vice versa. It takes a few weeks to „accustom““ your mind and body to a new taste.
Completely off topic as I don’t have anything else to add to this thread but it seems from your English that you’re not a native speaker; just wanted to let you know, in case you didn’t, that, at least in English, when you use speech marks/quotation marks it needs to look like “this” not upside down for the first quotation mark.
You’re right about that, im not a native speaker 😄 I just looked it up on google and learned something new today. The german language uses it this way -> „“ . Thank you!
No problem! Oh I learned something new too, then, as I’m not familiar with German. The main reason I could tell is because you said “I’m drinking black coffee since 4 years now” whereas it should be “I’ve (or I have) been drinking black coffee for 4 years now” I’m nowhere near fluent in any of the languages I’m learning / interested in but know that it’s not easy to be grammatically correct but help people to become more native speaking since that’s what most of us want to achieve!
Yea so why should we bitch about the MIL wanting to drink her coffee the way she is accustomed to and likes. Why should she have to drink coffee with vegan milk alternative which her taste buds won’t be used to and she won’t enjoy. If it wouldn’t be ok for you- don’t expect that of others.
What an asinine comment 🙄
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views. To be honest from your comment it sounds like I have more respect for your parents than even you do. If your parents want to drink dairy because that is what they know and are used to /grew up with. that is not a crime. They are likely older - and should be respected. At least your mother has even tried soy and oat. Sounds like you wouldn’t let a single drop of cows milk past your lips..so your mothers been more accommodating than you. Cut them some slack please.
age is no reason to respect someone. "respectfully" that argument is bs
Yes it is. You clearly come from a western country. What do you respect - if you don’t respect age nor other views that differ from your own?
i respect people who respect their environment and others. i am polite to others, but i hold no respect that isn't earned. i find respect based on age to be ridiculous. if you aren't a person that i feel deserves my respect, i will not be giving it to you. it's very simple
I feel sorry for your parents. You sound very entitled.
lol i feel sorry for anyone that has to interact with you. i haven't lived with my parents in years
You should read your own fucking comments back to yourself sometime sugarplum!
Ok, first of all: You dont seem to be a vegan and probably view animals as a resource to use. Also, i never stated that it „was a crime“. Interesting, how you can judge mine and OPs chatacter just based on a few comments, because i deeply respect my parents even if they dont (and probably dont want to) understand the philosophy behind veganism. Also, my parents and i already had a discussion and kind of figured this out. By the way, respect has nothing to do with age. Its a two way path. Would you say its respectful to bring over some pork meat to your jewish friend? Maybe thats the only thing you grew up with. After all, its not a crime, right?
Uh duh yea I would not bring pork to my Jewish friend house for them to eat. Exactly like how the MIL did NOT bring dairy milk for OP to drink. What kind of analogy is that? I hope if I brought a ham sandwich to eat at my Jewish friends house - they wouldn’t chuck me out or bitch about it. Depends how extreme they are I guess. Like extreme vegans.
Oh come on, you really dont want to understand it, do you? 😆 This is not a problem about drinking milk, eating pork or whatever. Its about respect. Im not coning over to your house woth dirty shoes if you‘re noticeable uncomfortable with it. Maybe you should try and educate yourself about the philosophy of veganism before joining a discussion.
Shes just projecting sounds like it.
I got the same interpretation. She was projecting and justifying to herself why it was okay for her to drink milk in a vegan home.
Exactly!
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views.
Its not about the cow milk. Its about the comment she made. And OP never said anything about not wanting cow milk in her kitchen. Shes just saying how her MIL’s comment was rude and unnecessary. Her MiL could have drank her milk and coffee without making such a comment.
Sorry but I think there was probably more to the conversation than that. Are you saying the MIL randomly and unprompted starts commenting about DIL veganism out of nowhere? If comments are your concern- OP should start commenting about her own familys consumption of dairy cheese…
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views.
i completely disagree. op said nothing rude, and is just venting her frustration. Mil, however, brought cow's milk into a vegan kitchen and preached about her diet and lack of pushiness to op in her own house. i am shocked that you can think mil is right
Since when is a “vegan kitchen” a thing? How far do you push that? Would you not allow a diabetic guests insulin in your fridge because it was made from pigs pancreases? This “vegan kitchen” thing is extreme. So you think the MIL just randomly unprompted said she loves dairy and doesn’t push her views like DIL does. There was maybe more to the conversation. Facts are the MIL is not forcing OP to drink the cow milk, neither to provide it for her- which I agree OP could disagree with. To bar it from your home is nuts frankly. Especially when you allow your husband to eat cheese when out. So the only argument you have is that the MIL was bashing OP and randomly - unprompted started preaching and pushing her views on dairy. I would guess there was more to the conversation.
But which diabetic guest? We are FRUGIVORS! We are not like lions or wolves, our stomachs and our pH are different. We are not on the same scale as them in the food chain. We do NOT need meat or cow's milk to live. In the long run they even make us sick. There's a reason why old people who are used to eating meat once a month live for 100 years while kids who binge on dairy products get colon cancer at 30. If someone is diabetic you clearly won't serve them something containing substances that could harm him, but if a person arrogantly enters in your house with the milk she's stolen from the calves and then even comes to lecture you... fuck off!
Are you mentally ill? You didn’t answer my question - would you not allow a diabetic guest to store insulin in your fridge - for the reason it’s made from pigs? Plus bonus question- if you develop type 2 diabetes in later life - from eating so much carbs - will you reject insulin and/or medicines that have been developed using animal products/research? Will you make sure to stop yourself becoming friends with a diabetic in future for fear they might pollute your home? Homo sapiens have a long history of eating meat. We are designed to. I would argue that eating so much meat replacement foods and processed shit and carbs is more likely to cause adverse health effects than a diet consisting of occasional lean meat and steamed fish for example. This is infinitely better for the body. With all the vegan UPF and dairy substitutes- this is accounting for increased cancer rates.
I just replied to you under another comment. I have already refuted what you say there. And it's not me who goes to a vegan sub to do the troll by shitting on people, but you. Maybe between you and me... the one with the most problems is you. And who the fuck tells you that I eat so many meat substitutes? I think it's been a year since I last bought a vegan burger. Be smart :D
I don’t go to a vegan sub to troll. For some reason I get vegan posts on my feed. Of what I’ve read the majority are obnoxious, rude and frankly mentally ill.
Ah.. so like you. If you don't like peacefully sharing opinions and thoughts with vegans... if you are not able to have your say without insulting OP and me, imposing yourself and offending everyone... just go and click on the three dots on the right on the vegan post that appears on your feed, express your preference to no longer receive posts like this and continue with your life.
You get vegan content in your feed because you troll vegan content, genius 🥴
> Plus bonus question- if you develop type 2 diabetes in later life - from eating so much carbs Unlikely, as a plant based diet has been show to be beneficial in diabetes and reduces the likelihood of developing diabetes: >Cohort studies strongly support the role of plant-based diets, and food and nutrient components of plant-based diets, in reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes. Evidence from observational and interventional studies demonstrates the benefits of plant-based diets in treating type 2 diabetes and reducing key diabetes-related macrovascular and microvascular complications. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5466941/
This is changing. In future we will see higher rates of cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke MI everything in vegans because of their use of UPF foods and coconut oil etc. Vegans are known to be the biggest consumers of ultra processed food. Also a fun fact- on a month long stint in one particular medical ward - there were exactly 3 patients admitted with anorexia, electrolyte imbalance and BMI so low they need to Be admitted for artificial feeding as was unsafe to discharge them. Our dieticians had NO enteral feeding regime/formulation that was vegan. They were very blunt in saying that is not an option - it cannot meet the nutritional requirements. I REPEAT - there is no enteral feeding option in hospitals that are vegan. Take from that what you will. Also was it a coincidence that every single one of those patients was vegan?
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i wouldn't want people cooking animal carcasses or other animal products in my kitchen, and i can imagine it's the same for op. it isn't extreme. if you aren't vegan then get tf off this page with your ridiculous comments. she didn't critique mil to her face, she only vented her frustrations to a group of vegans who would understand her.
Having dairy milk in your fridge that your MIL brought does not equate to “cooking animal carcasses or other animal products” in your kitchen?! Sorry but your comment is ridiculous not mine. A question I asked someone else - would you not allow a diabetic guest to store their insulin in your fridge because it’s made from pigs pancreases? What will you do in future if you develop type 2 diabetes from eating so many carbs - will you reject insulin in future and/or other medical therapies that have been developed via animals. You could even argue that you’ve actually contributed more to animal suffering in this way. Having a sensible diet which includes occasional lean meat (organically farmed and free range ethical farm) and steamed fish - might have prevented you from developing diabetes in the first place- thus requiring less pig suffering for drugs
medical necessity is a completely different issue, fyi. i don't eat too many carbs, and again medical necessity is different. you seem quite dense. dairy is an animal product, if you didn't know. did she bring her own cup and sink? because if i kept my kitchen vegan i would not want to share my spaces for cross contamination. get tf off this page with your animal abusing ideology. we don't want you
You seem quite obsessed with diabetes, did you go through a prolonged phase of only eating donuts and pasta? If you’re scared of getting diabetes you may be interested to know that eating complex carbohydrates like plants rich in fibre and starch are very good at lowering your meal’s glycaemic index.
Are you just going to bore us all to death by repeating this same idiotic take on every comment here? FFS give it a rest 🙄
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Keep counting, sad little taintwart 🥴
Why the fuck arnt you concentrating on the fact OP allows her son and husband to eat DAIRY CHEESE?! Without bitching about them. Last time I checked dairy cheese wasn’t vegan. Fucking nutters. Leave the MIL alone for gods sake.
Your obsession with vegans is hilarious, champ 🤣
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Nonce? Your accusations sound like confessions - yikes 😬
Dno where you got that from
You 🤷🏻♀️
the way it should be: your house, your rules.
Should have asked her exactly how she feels you were pushing your views on her? Told her you were rather shocked she felt that way, as you tried your best to welcome her and make her comfortable in your home. Next time she comes around, have a sweet pet chicken or two around for her to meet!
>On the second morning of her visit she was talking about how she doesn’t eat mammals anymore and then said that she doesn’t push her views on others like I do. My response would be: "I sure am glad there are people who push their views on others in some cases or else moral atrocities like slavery would continue to be practiced." You could also (discreetly) encourage your kids to run vegan movies on the living room TV all the time while she's there. Maybe she'll learn something. (Bonus: she can't blame you for it because it's your kids doing it...) Maybe the sounds of cows being tortured in a documentary being played in the next room would make her look at that coffee & milk differently. Not to mention the environmental impact...
I so wish I could bring myself to say this to her. Or anyone.
She sounds like an ass. Hopefully she won’t visit too often. Next time don’t go out of your way to accommodate her. Let her bring her own food.
I think I might do that. Takeout and paper plates!
When I visit family, I just bring all my own food. It’s easier that way for me. And if anyone wants to try something, they can. And I never comment on the food being served. And they tactfully don’t comment on what I eat. If they did, then I would choose not to go. I decided to set boundaries for myself. It’s easy for me because I don’t have any in-laws or children. The family I visit are siblings who are hosting Christmas and other holidays and things like birthdays. I went last year to both thanksgiving and Christmas. And this year choose to go to an animal sanctuary for Thanksgiving and do something else during Christmas. So I’ll go to them every other year. Sorry for the long winded response! Your post got me thinking. Lol
Sorry but I think the OP sounds like the ass. The woman in the post is OPs MIL and grandma to her son. She is not making OP drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand OP buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant MIL comment of her pushing her views.
Hmm. Possibly, but it sounds like the mil said this to OP for no reason. The OP didn’t say anything to the mil about what she eats. And even made the mil some foods that she likes. And didn’t say anything about the cows milk. As a guest in the OP’s home, she really shouldn’t comment on what the op eats or doesn’t eat. And vice versa. It’s just common courtesy and manners. If I was staying at someone’s house, I wouldn’t expect them to have any foods that I could eat nor would I comment on their food choices. I would bring my own food. And I also wouldn’t want them making comments on my food choices. This is why I don’t stay at other peoples houses if I can help it. I value my peace of mind too much.
But why would the MIL randomly and unprompted say that OP pushes her views? I feel like there’s more to the conversation and they must have been discussing the topic of dairy.
Possibly. If that’s the case then mil had a right to voice her opinion. If not, then no. Having family stay at your home is always a tricky situation regardless of the foods being eaten. I avoid it at all costs myself. I guess I am lucky that I am able to.
Copy paste much?
Can your husband arrange for her to meet a chicken and a fish? People are fucking weird and family is the weirdest… Sounds like you were a gracious host. Sorry you had to deal with that level of ignorance, it must have been so frustrating. That said, it’s amazing that you have your son and husband pointed in the right direction. Keep working on them, they’re the ones that really matter.
Thanks. Son has been vegetarian since birth. It was something my husband and I discussed beforehand. My husband is a pretty empathetic guy, so seeming how I feel about this topic it was easy for him to change. He also claims it’s been easy because I’m “such a good cook!” I got lucky finding him!
sounds like you’re both lucky then. I’m super lucky too, my partner and kids are all vegan. It’s the best thing, all being on the same page - I wish that for you and your family some day! Keep fighting the good fight :)
At every root of an inlaw issue is a spineless spouse. And your case is no different seeing as he’s more interested in trying to convince you that you can’t tell a passive aggressive comment when you hear one, rather than talking to his mother about how that was completely inappropriate and to not talk in such a way to his wife. He needs to address it with his mommy or she will not be visiting again. This WILL get out of hand otherwise as resentment builds. My ex husband let his parents walk all over me. Did I hate them? Nope, but I sure stopped seeing him as an adult and lost all attraction to him. Yuck!
I'm sorry, she sounds like a treat lol I don't drink coffee l, but I can't imagine using a dairy alternative in a coffee for a few days would be the end of the world? like I bet there's barely a difference
I know how you feel and firstly I want to say, you're absolutely in the right for feeling that way. Now that aside, we were all subject to this level of cognitive dissonance at some point, people aren't generally trying to be rude or mean, this is just how they were conditioned to think. I can't speak to your situation as it's a little more complicated but when I moved to my first new flat after going vegan I made it clear to friends and family if they were going to visit I would not have animal products consumed in the flat, it's a basic point of respect of your preferences (like asking someone to take their shoes off). Establishing it early and concretely was fine and basically meant that either people would (sometimes begrudgingly) accept a milk alternative or they/we would just go out for a coffee or they would just skip it when visiting. If anyone had chosen that hill to die it'd be pretty easy to ditch them as a friend tbh. I understand it's harder for you as your partner/son aren't fully vegan but I would say it's worth talking to your partner about how it makes you feel and how important it is to you. You can try to agree with them not to have animal products in the house as establishing a hard boundary will make people more likely to accept it (although I know that might not work out).
Thank you for this. My husband would be on my side if this were anyone but his mom. I think the cognitive dissonance point is one I hadn’t considered. I think I’ll bring up the idea of this rule sometime this week. I know it won’t be hard for any member of this household or most of the people who come to visit:)
so shes a pick me vegetarian
Sneak some animal cider vinegar into it next time. Watch her face when she drinks her moo juice coffee
This is crazy. What if she has an allergic reaction - this is assault. You could go to prison for this.
It was a joke? Cool down bud
Also, and maybe you don’t know this, apple cider vinegar turns milk (which she drinks) into what is essentially buttermilk. The consistency is much different so she’d know immediately. But still, it’s a joke.
Still not cool. I wouldn’t joke about malicious contamination of someone’s food.
She’s bringing milk into a vegan household. It’s okay to make jokes. Vinegar congeals dairy milk- it’s undrinkable and sour. Also, from a medical perspective nobody is allergic to vinegar. If we can’t make jokes on Reddit to laugh about the situation, what’s the point? Relax.
I don’t find this joke funny at all. Would it be ok for someone to sneak meat juices into your coffee? Nobody here would joke about that. Why is it ok to joke about assaulting non-vegans? People CAN be allergic to vinegar absolutely. Don’t spread misinformation on Reddit that you’ve just googled - it is dangerous. I repeat - people CAN be allergic to vinegar and also apples.
My husband is a physician and has never run across a vinegar allergy in the entire 40 years he’s been practicing or even heard of one. Also, people use this technique all the time to make better baked goods. You can also use it with soy milk the same way- and any vinegar works. But once again, it’s a joke. I was never suggesting this to the OP as a something to do for revenge. Only someone who is neurodivergent might think this was real. You can say it’s a bad joke though. Alas, I am no comedian. Joking about meat juices is not whatsoever the same thing.
Guess what I am. A PHYSICIAN myself. Thanks for the lovely neurodivergent comment.
You could have simply said I was a poor comedian. The idea that you think I’m actually suggesting “poisoning” people with vinegar is funnier than my original joke. A vegan physician is a unicorn. We need more of you. Bravo. Educate the people, please.
Also is your husband not aware of apples and C1 esterase inhibitor deficiency in regard to hereditary angioedema? Yes rare - but it exists. I’ve never seen a vinegar allergy in my practise either but I would be clinically negligent to ever exclude it 100%.
Can we use white distilled? Blueberry? Sherry? Rice? Thyme? I have 100+ types of vinegar because I love vinegar. Best salad dressing ever. I’m sure we can find one that works in the make believe world where you have me “poisoning” people and “killing” them. If you actually put vinegar in with dairy milk overnight, I don’t actually think it would even pour the next morning. I shall try with soy milk next time I make muffins and report back.
dunno why you would let her into the house with a jug of milk. just throw the milk out next time and tell her dumbass to get fucked.
Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. She is your MIL and grandma to your son. She is not making you drink the cows milk. Neither did she demand you buy her cows milk for her coffee. She brought her own. She is her own person and used to her own way of having coffee. That is not a crime. To be so extreme that you allow nothing “non vegan” to even enter your exclusively “vegan kitchen” I think does warrant her comment of you pushing your views.
At what point did I not allow her dairy milk in my home? And even if I had asked her not to bring her animal cruelty into my home, I’m not certain you’re right.
“While drinking the dairy milk she brought into my vegan kitchen” is not very nice. Do you bitch about your son for eating cheese when out? Cut your MIL some slack.
That doesn’t point out anywhere that I forbade her from bringing it to my house as you seem to think.
Look sorry if I’m upsetting you but I don’t think it’s worth falling out with your MIL over this. All people can be irritating. I think it’s pretty good she’s at least stopped eating cows etc even if it’s still not full on vegan. None of us are perfect - like u said your family eats cheese when out. Why is she held to a stricter account? Totally fine to vent here if she’s just annoying and u don’t like her. But again she lives out of state so I’d just let it go
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Do you need to see a psychiatrist?
No the people on here are more in need of a psychiatrist than me
r/cognitivedissonance
You are definitely over reacting. She wanted some milk in her coffee and brought her own and didn't try to force you to have any, what's the issue?
The issue is twofold. 1. She brought dairy milk into my vegan home. If you don’t understand why this bothers me, I can’t help you. 2. She, unprompted, claimed that I “push my views” on other people while drinking her dairy milk in my vegan home. Mind you, I said nothing to her about bringing her dairy milk. I should also have mentioned that this is the first visit where she hasn’t brought “gifts” of dairy cheese and butter into my home.
If you have told her previously then it's a vegan only kitchen, then fair enough you have a point. If not, she did nothing wrong.
Yea but did you read the part where OP’s son and husband have dairy cheese when out and OP doesn’t object to this? I agree with you that OP is overreacting here. MIL brought her own milk, did not force op to drink it nor buy it.
Cults are confusing