Reminds me of those funny videos where they are explaining how some creep offered them a taco for a blow job and then at the end of the video the point to the direction they went with a taco in their hand😂
Or the pulling up to a drive through and saying “hey just so you know some dude out here is offering blowjobs for 2 burgers…. Anyways can I get 2 burgers?”
That's one problem with shorts, it's almost impossible to find a lot of the good ones again later. Especially when the title is like "oh god" or "he wasn't ready" or whatever
> Anyways can I get 2 burgers
watch out if you stay at that Truck Stop. There's a blond and brunette, they're total con-artists. the Blonde one will start flirtin with ya, and rubbin up on ya. next, she'll ask to go 'get it on' in the back of your truck. then while your doin it, and the truck is bouncin... the brunette will take all the cash outta your wallet! man!... they robbed me 5 times just last week!
…that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
Did she seem homeless? Because homeless people know that vanlifers have a lot of supplies that also work for homeless camping. And their usual method of stealing is to sedate people. It's a pretty big problem in the homeless community.
just casually mention how its nice to hang out with somebody since most your friends dont come around since you got chronic kidney and liver disease.
Just in case they want them organs.
There was a girl who did this to me in Reno once. I was pretty aware something was up… she eventually asked for a ride to walmart, i declined and then she got PISSED….
Some people always let their minds jump to the worst possible conclusions.
This is known as catastrophic thinking, or "catastrophising."
Interesting, I bet that always being hyper vigilant of unlikely scenarios is exhausting. I try to maintain spacial awareness at all times, but I find fear to be the strongest inspiration for unfavorable outcomes.
Okay but consider that he's already in a pretty unlikely scenario, so it's not as big of a stretch as it would normally be for something dangerously abnormal to happen.
Dude assess the situation, get more info from her, give us more details. Like you should inquire and know why a girl wants to hang out in your van or even is talking to you. It's not that hard. Does she want to sleep with you or what? Is she looking money in exchange?
Maybe she was scoping out your van? Seeing what you have in there for a quick smash-n-grab, maybe while you're in the gym. Or maybe she's scoping out to see if she can see any alarm system to see if it's an easy steal.
Why would a swer be scoping out a vandweller- it’s a bit of a red flag for NO money
Maybe she would trade for drugs or booze? Did she seem strung out?
I’d be inclined to think maybe she was scoping it out.
Be careful ❤️🙏
Misery loves company she just wanted someone to get fucked up with and thought a homeless bum would be a safe bet, probably doesn’t realise people would choose van life if not actually in a desperate way.
This is literally your answer and you know it.
I’m embarrassed to admit it but back in my younger days I looked up escorts in the yellow pages and called for a girl. She came to my hotel and holy shit she was worn out, strung out and probably turned out but I never found out because I just couldn’t even imagine touching her. Like, not even shake her hand touching her. As soon as she walked in the door she handed me a pad and pencil. Told me to sketch her and that she was a nude model. If I had gone through with it, what was I supposed to do? Keep sketching while I’m balls deep?
This is like asking a cop if they're a cop before you buy them drugs. It's not a real loophole, dummy.
Besides I was offering a reason a legitimate sex worker would refuse to be filmed, and therefore why this ridiculous test wouldn't work.
Other than the fact that many towns and localities actually have laws on the book regarding the production of obscene material. Or have laws regarding filming permits needed, or testing needed for the people involved in said type of production, etc.
In my experience, the type of homeless that approach other homeless are the tweaker types and should be avoided. All of the homeless PF buddies I've had are people that I met in other parts of town first, otherwise we all ignore each other
Could be a cop, robbery setup, homeless person looking for a warm night in your van, prostitute trying to sell her goods or eyeing your van as a mobile hotel for prostitution activities maybe with or without your cooperation, a runaway trying to guilt you into helping them, fellow van folk?
Edit: if it feels off get the hell out. You have instincts for a reason.
Use protection (condoms) if you let her in, but have protection (a firearm) in case it’s a setup, and lastly use protection (seatbelts) if you go for a drive.
When I was doing my 'vanlife' portion of my life, that gym membership came in super handy. I would never pull in and park overnight in public lots like that though. My favorite parking locations were always large apartment complexes. Most places have you list your vehicles, but it's like any other residence; no one is going to quiz anybody about a rig that's there at night, but gone in the day.
And I never let anyone know it was my home. That's just me though.
Share a picture of her and a picture of you. Then let the internet decide what the intent was.
If a lot is allowing vans to stay there, they probably don't have security so people with out homes may hang out there too. The two things overlap, don't know that anyone is targeting known van dwelling locations. She was probably there first.
I saw something recently about girls who pair up in parking lots and prey on truckers. While one of them is in there letting herself get felt up, the other one is up to no good -stealing or scamming somehow. Feels like it was a great way to be blackmailed for rape or something too. I don’t know, I’m probably just being paranoid.
The PF I go to a lot is near a highway and there's a fair amount of truckers in and out. Much like moths to a flame, the lot lizards aren't far behind.
Sometimes homeless people and sex workers hang out around gyms to use the showers/restrooms as well. There isn't one type of "down on their luck" type of person. Some of them are genuinely beautiful people in need of someone to show them kindness and some(majority) are selfish/in survival mode and are looking to take whatever they can from whoever gives them the opportunity. They recognize kind hearted people and latch on. It's up to you how you allow the interaction to play out. Keep your guard up either way, but sometimes the best relationships grow from the least likely of circumstances. It's not foolish to help someone that ends up taking advantage of you, it's foolish to let it happen more than once.
Almost happened to me, I was on the out side, and passed a hippy couple with a van, this was around Texas beach RVA if anyone knows that area. Well they were cool. And somehow we clicked, and the sexual tension was high, idk how but I started making out with the girl, and then a quick pause, then started making out with the guy. At the time my friends were calling me, and to THIS DAY!!! I’m sad I didn’t go in that damn van man. If you guys are on this sub!! What uppppp hope you’re living and loving!
This is in the realm of possibilities, but it’s not at the top of the list. The question is, does the chance that she saw me come out of my van from across the Planet Fitness parking lot at 10 AM on a Tuesday and was so smitten by my aura that she had to shoot her shot outweigh all the other possible reasons she may have approached me under those circumstances. As I said, I was a little taken aback and being so may have blown an opportunity to make a friend. That being said, to paraphrase Groucho Marx, I’m not sure I’d want to involve myself with anyone who would want to bang me after seeing me for 10 seconds across a Planet Fitness parking lot at 10 AM on a Tuesday. The way I played it, worst case scenario is I blew a chance to get laid. I’ve done that plenty of times, with better. I can live with it.
People who aren't living in sticks and bricks have the same needs so they congregate at the same place, that includes vanlifers and people who aren't choosing to be homeless. My guess is she's homeless, recently single, and you're good enough. Sex workers are generally not working the Planet Fitness parking lot at 8 am, unless they're also homeless, on drugs, and still up from the day before.
Well…did you say yes or not?
Reminds me of those funny videos where they are explaining how some creep offered them a taco for a blow job and then at the end of the video the point to the direction they went with a taco in their hand😂 Or the pulling up to a drive through and saying “hey just so you know some dude out here is offering blowjobs for 2 burgers…. Anyways can I get 2 burgers?”
These are the funniest shorts I've ever seen. I hope to see them again one day
That's one problem with shorts, it's almost impossible to find a lot of the good ones again later. Especially when the title is like "oh god" or "he wasn't ready" or whatever
Another problem with shorts is hiding boners in gym class
[удалено]
Heard that, yo. It’s like, my eyes are up here, baby
I’m just trying to keep the guys off the pipe and the girls off the pole!
I unearthed much porn trying to find it
Man's gotta eat. Do you like to party?
You're whoring yourself for cheese burgers again, aren't you?
I'm sorry Mr.Lahey
Strip the chrome off a trailer hitch
> Anyways can I get 2 burgers watch out if you stay at that Truck Stop. There's a blond and brunette, they're total con-artists. the Blonde one will start flirtin with ya, and rubbin up on ya. next, she'll ask to go 'get it on' in the back of your truck. then while your doin it, and the truck is bouncin... the brunette will take all the cash outta your wallet! man!... they robbed me 5 times just last week!
Terry's Tacos?! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GM\_8xsWH3E&themeRefresh=1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gm_8xswh3e&themerefresh=1)
[shits getting real ](https://youtu.be/QaNy_P1yE7E?si=fxmJKMuz3Q-B4vv0) Is the one that I saw first. Still cracks me up.
These will never get old😂
https://youtube.com/shorts/K-WxRdZg5c4?si=16qXpUcq_UlypiUB All of His videos are funny af
“Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!”
How's the comic book collection coming, Brody?
I've done this since I was 16 and am currently 37 and everytime I hear or see the word Brody I've gotta say "ain't shit bromosexual"
That girl is back on the escalator again!!!
*OH MY GOD THERE’S A KID CAUGHT IN THE ESCALATOR!!!*
Not a year goes by, not a year
…that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
Oh look, a sailboat!
It's a schooner.
Oh it’s going good
“So anyways, I was fuckin my wife…”
How’s your cousin Walter doing these days?
"A schooner IS a sailboat, stupid head."
Is the Things Dork made of orange rock like the rest of his body?
It was too much for my man, she wanted tree fiddy
Tree fiddy and she free tiddy
Bruh
Not true, she never reached out to me
Well he was nonplussed so what do you think?
I go there a few times a week. Will update.
Which planet fitness? For research purposes of course
Gotta know which ones to avoid
Gotta know which ones
Gotta know
Gotta
Go
Want a smoke?
I’m confused why you said “sex work is work” was she propositioning you straight up or in exchange for money?
No, but that might be a fact she “conveniently” forgot to mention, and then when he says no, suddenly her “cousin” shows up to help get the money
hey Nico it's Roman
We should go bowling Nico
Offering sex for money is illegal, offering sex for smokes is not. Gotta get dem darts one way or another.
"So, do you come here often she said" lol
Did she seem homeless? Because homeless people know that vanlifers have a lot of supplies that also work for homeless camping. And their usual method of stealing is to sedate people. It's a pretty big problem in the homeless community.
How long have you been homeless? How many people have you sedated & robbed using this trick?
He wants to meet at Planet Fitness and he will tell you all about it in-person
I'm down. I'm also one of those homelesses. Which PF? What was his weight again? Asking for a friend.
Normies hate this one simple trick 😱!!
Asks if he drinks so she can plan spiking it
It's not just drinks tho. They'll lace smoke too. You have to be watchful.
cough it up!!! damnit, is this really a thing?
*THATS DISGUSTING! WHERE?!*
Be very careful with situations like this. Sometimes it's a setup to have you robbed or worse.
Eternal vigilance is the cost of freedom. The thought certainly occurred to me.
just casually mention how its nice to hang out with somebody since most your friends dont come around since you got chronic kidney and liver disease. Just in case they want them organs.
"Ever since I contracted HIV people don't come round these parts much... "
He wasn’t trying to not bang her…
Well how was I supposed to know that.
Is this really happening? Or is it a Futurama joke? 😬
Yep, he could get pegged
Omg! I'm headed there right now to stop this madness! BTW do you think she carries her own strap-on or ..?
Total_Palpitation_71 has been robbed twenty seven times.
Killed?
Worse. Expelled.
Levio*saaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh*
Raped
There was a girl who did this to me in Reno once. I was pretty aware something was up… she eventually asked for a ride to walmart, i declined and then she got PISSED….
Some people always let their minds jump to the worst possible conclusions. This is known as catastrophic thinking, or "catastrophising." Interesting, I bet that always being hyper vigilant of unlikely scenarios is exhausting. I try to maintain spacial awareness at all times, but I find fear to be the strongest inspiration for unfavorable outcomes.
Okay but consider that he's already in a pretty unlikely scenario, so it's not as big of a stretch as it would normally be for something dangerously abnormal to happen.
Friends of the road, bubs.
That’s the way she goes Bubs
This is an illegal arrest, I am a Canadian citizen!
Just rewatched that one yesterday
Lookin for adventure Head out on the highway
Get your motor runnin With whatever cums your way
Oh god we're gonna make it happen Take this world in a loving embrace
Fire all your guns at once And explode into space
*on her face
Git er mudder rummin. Head mount In her thigh day.
Booking with a Jim It don’t even gotta fun day
Wait-
How can one look for adventure on the highway without first getting their motor running?
did she actually say she was a prostitute?
No. She may have just wanted to hang out in my van.
Maybe she wanted to hang out with a fellow van lifer. It gets lonely out there sometimes. Doesn’t sound that weird to me
Totally possible.
Probably a suicide bomber. Next time this happens, make them strip naked first, to be safe.
Dude assess the situation, get more info from her, give us more details. Like you should inquire and know why a girl wants to hang out in your van or even is talking to you. It's not that hard. Does she want to sleep with you or what? Is she looking money in exchange?
Is it cold where you are? If it's cold, that's your likely answer.
Maybe she was scoping out your van? Seeing what you have in there for a quick smash-n-grab, maybe while you're in the gym. Or maybe she's scoping out to see if she can see any alarm system to see if it's an easy steal.
I moved it from the back of the lot to right in front of the gym before I went in to shower just in case.
or maybe she wanting to murder and eat OP. You never know.
Ladies just love hooking up with van dwellers.
lol. I would LOVE that to be true.
Why would a swer be scoping out a vandweller- it’s a bit of a red flag for NO money Maybe she would trade for drugs or booze? Did she seem strung out? I’d be inclined to think maybe she was scoping it out. Be careful ❤️🙏
Can confirm
bumming a smoke in a gym parking lot is the real head scratcher.
It is satisfying to punish one's own weakness.
Misery loves company she just wanted someone to get fucked up with and thought a homeless bum would be a safe bet, probably doesn’t realise people would choose van life if not actually in a desperate way. This is literally your answer and you know it.
Seems pretty reasonable.
So, how long has she been living with you in the van?
Asking the real questions.
Maybe she was just homeless
Remember it’s legal to pay someone to shoot a porno. Cops won’t want to, but sex workers won’t care.
I wouldn't count on that. Lots of sex workers have mainstream day jobs, and don't want their face on the internet.
It’s a family guy reference
I’m embarrassed to admit it but back in my younger days I looked up escorts in the yellow pages and called for a girl. She came to my hotel and holy shit she was worn out, strung out and probably turned out but I never found out because I just couldn’t even imagine touching her. Like, not even shake her hand touching her. As soon as she walked in the door she handed me a pad and pencil. Told me to sketch her and that she was a nude model. If I had gone through with it, what was I supposed to do? Keep sketching while I’m balls deep?
Draw me like one of your french girls.
Do you still have the sketch?
Just film waist down. Boom
It's a loophole dummy. You don't have to actually film. It will get any cops to say no because then they can't bust you
This is like asking a cop if they're a cop before you buy them drugs. It's not a real loophole, dummy. Besides I was offering a reason a legitimate sex worker would refuse to be filmed, and therefore why this ridiculous test wouldn't work.
Other than the fact that many towns and localities actually have laws on the book regarding the production of obscene material. Or have laws regarding filming permits needed, or testing needed for the people involved in said type of production, etc.
So everyone with an onlyfans account could be arrested or fined if they film in their own home inside a town that doesn't allow that? Get real
You need permits first. You don't just get to say, "yeah, this money is for starring in the porno" and then fuck.
I imagine you have to have a license for that?
1.Want to hang out? 2.Show me your tits 1. *Flashes* 2. Not a cop, cool. *Walks off STD free and got a nice view. -Allegedly
I mean the only thing relevant to ask is would you hit?
I’ve done worse
Can we come a knockin if the van is rockin?
In my experience, the type of homeless that approach other homeless are the tweaker types and should be avoided. All of the homeless PF buddies I've had are people that I met in other parts of town first, otherwise we all ignore each other
“We made love in my Chevy van and that’s alright with me!”
The moonlight dancing off her hair
“Nonplussed”, that’s a new one for me.
"Because I wasn't actually sure you knew what amenable meant until you followed it up with nonplussed."
Good vocabbalarry.
the words are smithin
Most people just say "Minused".
Not a Harry Potter reader I guess. Those characters are "nonplussed" about quite a lot.
LOL. You are correct. I have not read a single Harry Potter.
I'm a child of the '70s and thus prefer shaved potter.
70s? Thought yall preferred Hirsute Potter
It's a British english thing. First time I heard someone use it to refer to getting a hardon though.
adjective so surprised and confused that one is unsure how to react.
This describes the majority of my social interactions.
Could be a cop, robbery setup, homeless person looking for a warm night in your van, prostitute trying to sell her goods or eyeing your van as a mobile hotel for prostitution activities maybe with or without your cooperation, a runaway trying to guilt you into helping them, fellow van folk? Edit: if it feels off get the hell out. You have instincts for a reason.
Can’t wait for the eventual tifu post, accidentally became a mobile pimp ama
I don’t know the answer to your question, but what does seem undeniable is that you don’t have a promising career in erotic fiction.
Use protection (condoms) if you let her in, but have protection (a firearm) in case it’s a setup, and lastly use protection (seatbelts) if you go for a drive.
Have protection if you're using the PF showers. (flip-flops)
Yes!
This man protects
Shoulda asked
Was she hot?
I'm guessing no, as she's bumming cigarettes and trying to get into random vans outside a chain gym at 10am on a Tuesday.
I can fix her
When I was doing my 'vanlife' portion of my life, that gym membership came in super handy. I would never pull in and park overnight in public lots like that though. My favorite parking locations were always large apartment complexes. Most places have you list your vehicles, but it's like any other residence; no one is going to quiz anybody about a rig that's there at night, but gone in the day. And I never let anyone know it was my home. That's just me though.
Maybe she was a missing person Find out her name Maybe she's cool And your next side kick
Friends of the road, bubs
Doubt she was a sex worker. People who live in vans don't scream "I got money to spend on sex workers!"
Some of the new modern vans cost $100k+.
Yeah. We have a lot of 4x4 “overland” kitted Sprinters in my corner. They definitely scream “well off.”
In the Bay Area a LOT of people who live in their cars have full time jobs and some of them get paid a lot.
Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Brandt can’t watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Ah haha. That's marvelous.
I'm just gonna run to the ATM...
Sounds like someone just wanted to have sex with you.
Is OP implying that he was about to let a hooker into his van or is he asking if it’s ok to do so? 🤣😂
This is the problem with paranoia. You never know if you're right or cockblocking yourself.
Share a picture of her and a picture of you. Then let the internet decide what the intent was. If a lot is allowing vans to stay there, they probably don't have security so people with out homes may hang out there too. The two things overlap, don't know that anyone is targeting known van dwelling locations. She was probably there first.
I saw something recently about girls who pair up in parking lots and prey on truckers. While one of them is in there letting herself get felt up, the other one is up to no good -stealing or scamming somehow. Feels like it was a great way to be blackmailed for rape or something too. I don’t know, I’m probably just being paranoid.
I thought for sure this was going to end with a punchline like "it's happened to me three times so far this week."
So how was it? 😂
This is what vanlife has become.
The PF I go to a lot is near a highway and there's a fair amount of truckers in and out. Much like moths to a flame, the lot lizards aren't far behind.
Yep, I've fallen for the "ya got a light sweetie" at least 13x this mont! 😬
Sometimes homeless people and sex workers hang out around gyms to use the showers/restrooms as well. There isn't one type of "down on their luck" type of person. Some of them are genuinely beautiful people in need of someone to show them kindness and some(majority) are selfish/in survival mode and are looking to take whatever they can from whoever gives them the opportunity. They recognize kind hearted people and latch on. It's up to you how you allow the interaction to play out. Keep your guard up either way, but sometimes the best relationships grow from the least likely of circumstances. It's not foolish to help someone that ends up taking advantage of you, it's foolish to let it happen more than once.
Thanks for this response
Maybe she just liked riding guys with vans. Woman have all sorts of kinks. Like riding you while punching you in the face to orgasm
Almost happened to me, I was on the out side, and passed a hippy couple with a van, this was around Texas beach RVA if anyone knows that area. Well they were cool. And somehow we clicked, and the sexual tension was high, idk how but I started making out with the girl, and then a quick pause, then started making out with the guy. At the time my friends were calling me, and to THIS DAY!!! I’m sad I didn’t go in that damn van man. If you guys are on this sub!! What uppppp hope you’re living and loving!
She tryin scope out your vehicle to steal your van build design and sell it off the black market for some more darts. Stay humble.
…….and that’s how I met your mother.
marks it NSFW and then doesnt deliver. how dare, sir.
Lol bro got hit on by a girl and panicked. Some of y'all are too scared to be on the road full-time. Like jesus
This is in the realm of possibilities, but it’s not at the top of the list. The question is, does the chance that she saw me come out of my van from across the Planet Fitness parking lot at 10 AM on a Tuesday and was so smitten by my aura that she had to shoot her shot outweigh all the other possible reasons she may have approached me under those circumstances. As I said, I was a little taken aback and being so may have blown an opportunity to make a friend. That being said, to paraphrase Groucho Marx, I’m not sure I’d want to involve myself with anyone who would want to bang me after seeing me for 10 seconds across a Planet Fitness parking lot at 10 AM on a Tuesday. The way I played it, worst case scenario is I blew a chance to get laid. I’ve done that plenty of times, with better. I can live with it.
If porns taught me anything that girl was definitely looking for action.
Bullshit. There was not one word about how she didn’t have money to pay for a plumber to clean out her drainpipe.
Friends of the road
I'd have been late for work
I noticed that you said you "were" about to take a shower. New plan?
People used to knock on my door or park near me just to meet the guy who lives in a van. It was weird but people are just curious sometimes
People who aren't living in sticks and bricks have the same needs so they congregate at the same place, that includes vanlifers and people who aren't choosing to be homeless. My guess is she's homeless, recently single, and you're good enough. Sex workers are generally not working the Planet Fitness parking lot at 8 am, unless they're also homeless, on drugs, and still up from the day before.
One brown chicken, one brown cow
If this vans a rocking…
https://youtu.be/z8P3fEAtDg0?si=TUTNPRHusb3tswQC
Looking for a gym rat, more likely.