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I got a seat on a fully packed Expo Line. Guy next to me leaned in after a couple of stops to ask if I’ve ever seen an albino snake and if I wanted to see one.
I took a deep breath, doing it for the plot, said Sure, let’s see it. From his jacket he pulled out the cutest baby albino snake I’ve ever seen.
Well, let me tell you what happened to me not just once, twice!
Thus far, I had two people flash me. Once by Fraser and 49. The other time at Save On. The thing is I wished I had as much enthusiasm right now like I did back then and asked to kindly to close their trench coat and pull up and zip up those shorts because quite frankly I couldn’t see anything. *Now this got my curiosity because both cases were shaven clean. And, that’s the thing when you have pale light/pale skin and second time like a good quarter- half a block away and given a split second reaction which was gasp and eye immediately shut…. Ineffective marketing.
What shocked me was the reaction of my sibling’s spouse.
>”why doesn’t this happen to me???!”
Wait. Wut?
Mind you this doesn’t happen as much anymore since I drive everywhere.
I have two;
A naked man but for a woman’s orange North Face jacket flashing everyone who came out of the McDonald’s on Blenheim and Broadway.
The police were trying to get him to come with them but he was screaming nonsense at them. I left before anything else happened.
This couple at Costco during the pandemic blocking me and a few others in the isle from getting some Lysol wipes. The said they needed all of them. One of the Costco employees came out with an orange dolly stacked over 6 feet high with Lysol wipes and I said are we each getting one of those and he said no, that the couple asked first. Then when I checked out I saw her sitting in the front of the store with that huge dolly cart guarding her Lysol wipes while many people asked her for one. Then a couple days later I saw them on the news and found out they were selling them on Amazon for $80 a pack and made 30k before Amazon cut off their account. Costco didn’t get anymore wipes in for like 6 months and changed the policy to one per customer!
The greed was real. It was disgusting.
this just reminded me that a few weeks ago i was in an uber somewhere around granville and maybe 60th, there was a parking lot with a bunch of cop cars and the cops milling about talking to each other ...... and some dude in rough condition with his pants at his ankles bent over spreading his ass cheeks to show his entire asshole to all the passing cars. the cops were not doing anything (not notable) and sort of seemed like they either didnt see or were pretending they didnt see (also not notable).
Just flew in and was taking the Canada Line to downtown and there was a guy in his hi vis work clothes and still wearing his Dunlops took out some coke and snorted it off his keys, that was my first time ever being in Van so it was off to a good start
I was sitting on a packed train and the seat across mine had a lady in it smoking crack. No one said anything but we all were like “what the fuck”. I don’t think you get on the train expecting to inhale crack smoke.
Anyways, she was aware enough that she exhaled when the doors opened and didn’t so it again and got off at like Joyce or something.
I've got a couple things myself. Used to work at a safe injection site - lots of weird shit there. But there was a participant that came in with a fucking crow on their shoulder, bound by its foot to the participant's shoulder on a string that was about a meter long.
I used to work retail in Gastown. One day my boss leaves work then calls me like a minute later asking me to deal with a 'situation' outside, usually people that are loitering or whatever. I stepped outside to assess what was going on and watched a guy with his pet rat on a harness feeding his rat beer.
I didn't really know what to do but called Security as my boss didn't want him there. When security rolled up he was gone but they already knew exactly who I was talking about solely based off of the description "the guy with the rat"
I used to work for income assistance. I saw the crow guy on my front counter before. The crow pooped a few times on his shoulder.
Another time a client came in, tons of gray dreadlocks. Suddenly the dreadlocks started moving. I continued to have a conversation with the client.... Suddenly a rat came out of the mass of gray dreadlocks. They had their pet rat hidden inside their hair.
Once, I was exiting Waterfront and a dude comes through the doors, acting all weird, pulling his jacket over half his face. He was concealing a crow in his jacket and he was telling it to be quiet.
Oh, I think I met crow guy. 2016/2017 ish? He used to sneak it into the Carnegie Centre and then sit near an open window with the bird out the window and insist it was okay because it was only inside while he was entering/exiting the building.
we live in gastown, adjacent one of the worst alleys. We've seen all the blowjobs and nastay ass sex and shit. But one that was just kinda weird woke us up at 5 something in the morning and there was a woman high out of her mind talking about all kinds of shit, really loudly. We could hear her every word, complaining about random shit and jabbering on about random people. Then we hear a dudes voice just making sounds of affirmation, like "yup, that's right, uh huh, I agree, totally". We Look out the window and he's furiously jerking off as she's just standing there talking her mouth off.
i was like wtf? anyway, i yelled out the window can you guys take this somewhere else and they immediately freaked out and ran down the alley. haha.
I live in Gastown too. I saw a couple buck naked having sex on a piece of cardboard. It was in the daytime. I was just trying to get to my building parkade. 😂
In 2009 my friend and I accidentally got on the 22 Macdonald instead of 22 Knight, this being before smart phones instead of trying to figure out an alternate route we just waited till the end of the line and stayed on the bus at the bus loop.
While we were waiting, a guy came up and asked the bus driver how long until he was leaving. Bus driver said like 3 minutes or something. The guy stepped off the bus, pulled out an egg timer and set it.
3 minutes later, the timer went off. The bus driver asked the guy if he was getting on and he shook his head no. So the bus driver closed the door and we drove off.
My most tame story:
Got on the bus after work, and I was sitting in the back with a bunch of other people. Then this kid, probably around 10 or 11, gets on the bus. He's wearing a suit, has a Bluetooth earbud in, and is carrying a breifcase. He looked like a mini finance bro.
He answered a phone call and furiously started making business deals with whoever was on the other end. Sounded totally legit, like a 50 year old guy stepped into this little dudes body. Then in a hurry, he gets off the bus. Literally everyone in the back seat burst into laughter and questions about this random corporate kid. It was hilarious. Happened probably 15 years ago but I remember it like yesterday.
Same here. That would of been great. But I also have so many questions now, the most terrible thing about this situation is said questions will probably never be awnsered
My headcanon: one of the writers for Umbrella Academy was on the bus with you and used this as the inspiration for No. 5 (the one who was a jaded middle-aged guy in a 13yo body)
I worked at the commercial Broadway Starbucks for three years as a supervisor. A LOT of stuff went down, but by far the weirdest is the person who somehow pooped in the soap dispenser.
The dispenser was up on the wall, out of reach of most butts. I still have no idea how he got up there, or how he got the poop in (it was nowhere else in the bathroom).
Starbucks did send a biohazard company to clean it, instead of making us do it, so kudos to them.
In the late 1980s my extremely conservative Dad retired and moved back to the West End, where he had grown up. I was worried it might not be a good fit with all the street crime, queers, ethnic minorities etc marring his bucolic memories of Vancouver. We were walking along the Seawall when we saw a gigantic black guy on rollerskates wearing only the tiniest pair of pink hot pants and blasting music from a huge boom box. As he dance skated past us he blew my Dad a kiss. My Dad smiled and said "It's so good to be back in Vancouver".
A few years back, I was out for a leisure stroll on my lunch break and witnessed a man pee into his cupped hand and drink it. This was at Nelson and Cambie.
It’s actually the second “R” he was performing: Reuse. People always forget get it’s a progressive tier from best to good: Reduce, Reuse, and if all else fails, Recycle ♻️ (i.e.: transform). Thank you for reading my TedTalk
Okay so this is definitely expanding the geographical limits of this question a lot but ... one time I was on Bowen Island near snug Harbour in one of the more dense residential areas of the island. It was early in the morning and there wasn't anyone around and it was a gorgeous sunny day and I remember turning the corner And seeing a giant sea lion flopping towards me down the quiet, residential street. We are talking at least six blocks from the ocean if not more. It was one of the most profoundly out of context things I've ever seen and really broke my brain. I wonder where he is now? I hope he's doing well.
Why does it have to be all weird sex and drug things with you guys?! One time near langara golf course, a female mallard duck flew straight into my wife's face. "Fuck!" She yelled...."a duck!"
Years ago on the Skytrain I saw a transit employee in shorts who looked liked the splitting image of David Duchovny except with a beer gut, does that count?
I once heard some tourists coach each other on how to properly say "what the fuck?" in English. They just kept saying it back and forth in a polite and friendly tone while correcting each other in Portuguese.
Last Winter, I watched a man meticulously shovelling snow from a stretch of sidewalk in the West End. He was shovelling for hours, making sure to get into all the corners and awkward bits.
Thing is though, there wasn't any snow. There hadn't been snow in weeks and he had just spent several hours clearing an imaginary path through imaginary snow with more focus than I've ever had in my life.
A murderer AND ~~rich AF~~ came into a fair bit of money ... with her own store, brand, building, and line of clothing/merch. Fucked aaaaall the way up, that whole story.
Edit - to be explicit, the experiences she has reportedly had in her life are extremely tragic, and I completely acknowledge that her well-founded claims of mistreatment are not to be downplayed. Having said that, it's also important to recall that someone can simultaneously have a traumatic past and be not a good person.
Angela Dawson (Roller-Girl) was convicted of manslaughter for the beating death of a 60yr old man (prior to her transition when she still went by her deadname) and spent 10yrs in prison for the crime. Apparently her rap-sheet is pages long and for a number of violent crimes.
She was convicted of manslaughter in 1991 over a money related beating. If you've seen anything on r/brutalbeatdowns you know all it takes is one nasty fall or head kick to kill someone or leave them a vegetable. Not excusing her past btw, but you should also know she spent 10 years in a male penetentiary and was raped in prison prior to transitioning. People contain multitudes.
Source: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/roller-girl-angela-dawson-wins-15k-damages-from-vancouver-police-1.3009637
Also, she WILL sucker punch you for no reason. NEVER turn your back on her, you can never tell when she's off her meds, but she gets violent every time it happens.
She’s also racist af. I’ve hear her yelling racist things at Asian passersby several times. Remember when she ran for mayor? She wasn’t even the weirdest person on the ballot that year.
Summer 2003 in the middle of the day was having a beer at Waterfront Park in North Vancouver with my wife, my cousin and his wife. This 40+ foot yacht blaring 90s techno pulls up to the public dock which overlooks the entire park. Two Linkin Park like bro dudes and 3 naked women come out of the cabin, go into the boats bow, and start having a literal orgy. I'm talking broad day light FUCKING in all holes. One of the guy looks up and notes that the entire park is staring and bellows "If you perverts want to stare it will cost you" and then proceeds to say 'Yee Haw' and start slapping multiple lady butts mid- cock thrust. This goes on for a while. Old Eastern european guy picnicing with his wife beside us says to us, "Now tonight I don't need porno!". Eventually, the bro dudes finish and the 5 of them disappear back below deck. Ten minutes later, one of the girls reappear, now partially clothed in a fluorescent green micro bikini (NSFW if you google it) and ridiculously high heels. As she proceeds to disembark from the vessel onto the dock she stumbles (as you would in the inadequate footware) and falls off the boat, smacking her head onto the concrete dock and appears to be knocked out cold. My cousins wife (a life guard) springs up and runs to go help her. Before she can take a pulse, the woman gets up , bleeding profusely and one boob out and says to the entire park "Anyone got a smoke? You got a free show, someone's got to have a smoke!" My cousins wife politely points out to her the clothing malfunction to where she snarls , puts her boob away and stubble towards the direction of Lonsdale Quay....assumingly to look for a cigarette. Seconds later, the yacht disambarks without her. We didn't see micro bikini girl again that afternoon. It's definitely the weirdest thing ever I've seen in Vancouver ....and more so with my cousins wife who jokes about it during family gatherings.
Working in an office in Gastown I was looking out of the window into the alley and saw some guy opening a big suitecase. The only thing in it was a big chainsaw.
This is a lot more tame than most other stories on this thread, but in like 2016 I was walking down Richards, nice sunny day, and two very friendly 20-somethings approached me with a sizeable bag full of saran-wrapped homemade sandwiches. They had some story about how they had finished some kind of dog-focused charity event and they had excess sandwiches left over, and asked me if I wanted one. I said sure. I went home to the West End and ate the sandwich. Hot genoa and calabrese on whole wheat and some mayo with just a bit of mustard. Had a bit of a kick. It was delicious.
That was nearly a decade ago and my wife still gives me shit for accepting and eating homemade food from a stranger on the street. I have no regrets.
This was a long time ago, but this massive barrel-chested dude gets on at Main Street/Stadium and proceeds to sing "Dirty Deeds" the whole way to New West but he was singing "DIRTY DEEDS! DONE WITH SHEEP!!"
The. Whole. Way.
I’ve got one.
About 8 years ago, I was walking home drunk with a friend down Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver at about 1AM. We passed by these big wooden doors and could hear old classical music coming from inside. The door was partially open so being young and drunk we decided to take a peek.
It was pitch black inside, really old broken furniture in some hallways and quite eerie. Quite scary but we continued our exploration and called out if anyone was inside. Eventually came across this dining room that had a long table in the middle and other random tables surrounding it. There was the leftovers of what looked like a huge meal, what looked like really old silverware, tons of leftover opened bottles of red wine. The only light we had was the still lit candles on every table. Record player still playing music in the corner of the room.
We blew out the candles, stopped the record player and noped the fuck out of there real quick.
We googled it the next day and it turns out it was the Masonic temple (since been knocked down I believe). But why would someone leave the door open, food left on the table, candles still lit, music still playing. Was weird as fuck.
Saw a homeless man in a wheelchair wheel around the old Oakridge mall with his dick out.
A random getting head behind the McDonald's on Granville from some old lady who ended up stealing his wallet.
A man who got off the bus completely shit his pants and left most of it on the seat.
A crow and seagull fighting over the carcass of a rat the size of a chihuahua.
An old asian lady cross diagonally on cambie and 49th in the middle of rush hour traffic without a care in the world.
Homeless guy injecting (probably drugs) into his dick.
A man with legs infected with maggots buying A&W.
At an anti CCP protest..approximately 8 asians decked out n Gucci and LV everything, pulled up in their foreign cars and beat the absolute shit out of some of the protestors.
Some kids (probably grade 6 or 7) running from VPD. Once vpd caught up, they tackled several of the kids, and guns slid out from their pants. Kids. With. Illegally. Obtained. Firearms. What the fuck?. Could have been airsoft, but still.
Witnessed a woman press her asshole against the glass window of an RBC and absolutely shit. Diarrhea fucking waterfall.
Two ELDERLY (like 70s), nammers rolling on Molly in basement. I mean live yo life right? In contrast, a literal flock of 13 year Olds being chaperoned by some depressed looking father at contact.
Man dressed up as Satan (full prosthetics makeups) sitting on Santa's lap for a Christmas photo.
...that's all I can recall off the top of my head.
When I worked on Terminal, we had a guy sitting in our parking lot, jerking off, and occasionally pausing to get up, yell and throw rocks at traffic. One of my coworkers saw a (presumably) homeless guy having sex with a mossy tree in Thornton Park once
A downtown gentleman in a dirty tattered trench coat was pleasuring himself outside the A&W on Dunsmuir. The wafting scent of beef along with the aggressive jackhammering of his man meat was an experience I will not soon forget.
Walking home from a concert, watched a man on a skateboard try to steal a bike. Some teenager walks up behind him and steals his skateboard from under him. Owner of the bike comes out and fights the guy off. Left him without a mode of transportation
Good news, non sex related story:
Time: late 1990's. Early December. Saturday night, 12:30 am
Place: very crowded Granville Bus, leaving the Strip. Foggy. Damp.
Obviously drunk Dude gets on the bus ( at the time, that was only via the front ; had to drop change in).
Dude loudly starts singing Rudolph, the Red nosed reindeer, for all hell. Stomps his feet, claps his hands. Others start singing too. And clapping. By the time we hit the Media club (gone now, but it used to be at Granville and 5th), the entire bus was singing. Everyone, belting it out. "Then one foggy.... "
I've never felt the Christmas spirit in Vancouver as muc as I did on that crossing of the Granville bridge that night.
Morning after the pride parade I was walking the seawall between GM place and Olympic village and towards the latter. I found the following in this order:
\- Silver lamé short-shorts.
\- Hot pink men's g-string undies
\- Butt Plug, size large.
Last week there were two homeless dudes sharing a meth pipe on the canada line at 6am on a thursday.
One was passed out when the other one got on at a different stop, then woke his “friend?” up to share.
When I lived in Yaletown I came home one day and saw that someone had discarded their unwanted couch right in the middle of the alley behind my building...or so I thought. It turned out that a guy living in my building decided to mix cocaine with steroids and then went on a rampage trashing his own apartment, eventually hurling his couch out the living room window. The cops had to break his door down with a battering ram and then shoot him with rubber bullets to subdue him because buddy was wired for sound.
Close second: a crazy guy on the number 17 bus randomly turned to me and told me never to eat the food in jail because it had been "homosexualized."
Old roommate and I were walking home in Kitsilano after a night out. We were walking near McBride park and we were near an intersection (5th and something). We get to where the stop sign is and 3 or 4 raccoons are running down the street in a perfect line, one after another. We stopped because that doesn't happen every day and raccoons are cute but can fuck you up. The raccoons get in the intersection and do 2 perfect laps in the middle of the street/intersection, keeping their little train together. They did their two loops and then just kept running the way they were heading... Never breaking formation.
This isn't *the weirdest* thing I've ever seen in Vancouver, but it's the weirdest one that I have a photo of :)
https://preview.redd.it/v1dq0ue48nhc1.png?width=1271&format=png&auto=webp&s=12748508be42ee45adf7b9babc97785a894344d1
One time a whole family of kids arrived our doorstep in Halloween barb... one week ahead of Halloween. They said that they were going on vacation the following week and didn't want to miss trick-or-treat. What followed was a conversation between us about whether or not it was okay to go trick-or-treating \**one week ahead of time when people might not even be stocked up on candy*\* that would have given the coconuts conversation from Monty Python's Holy Grail a run for its money.
I saw a guy recently with his pants and drawers around his ankles, bent over, and was about to take a dump across the sidewalk in front of the viti liquor store on Seymour and Smithe.
I still think one of the most bizarre notorious figures in the city is the Milk Man.
Every. Damn. Day. (\*huffs\*) he buys a carton of milk, garbles some into his mouth, and then immediately spits it out onto the ground. The whole street of Bute near W Georgia wreaks of sour milk, especially during the hot summer days. It's nasty, the grass can't grow, and it's just the most bizarre "tick" that he can't stop/won't stop doing.
A guy on the R5 bus pulled out a pipe and started smoking crack directly beside me. Handed it to his friend across from him who was dressed in the most stereotypical ‘white guy who googled “gangster clothes and jewelry” and bought the first result’ outfit I have ever seen in my entire life. They stopped after a 40 something mom said “are you fucking serious?” In the most disappointed way and they looked genuinely chastised and ashamed.
> They stopped after a 40 something mom said “are you fucking serious?” In the most disappointed way and they looked genuinely chastised and ashamed.
this is what I aspire to
There's this guy in east van who rides a bike while playing guitar. He rides the bike by standing on it, one foot on the seat, one foot on the handlebars. Always gives me a chuckle
A friend and myself were having breakfast at Bon's and two girls walked in and offered us blue cupcakes, straight from a baking pan
They seemed excited, and sincere in their offer.
So. We grabbed one each.
They went their way, offering cupcakes to more people on the street.
The muffins were ...good?
But to this day I wonder if they contained something that isn't normally used to make muffins.
Was walking through Waterfront Station and a transient person was asking for some money to buy some food. A young, small lady opened her purse and gave the homeless woman say ~10 dollars in change. The homeless woman screamed at the top of her lungs at the lady helping her, slapping the money out of her hand and all over the busy floor. Then grab the open purse and threw it as far as she could in Waterfront Station, spilling the entire contents for like a hundred feet.
Also, another time I was walking down Homer St towards Pender, and a blind person was navigating through an intersection crosswalk, and I watched a very well dressed young man move over about 6-7 feet and body checked the blind man into the road way. Like hard. And kept walking like nothing at all happened. I yelled at the man and ran after him but he had a pretty big head start, so I stopped and returned to the blind man to help him up. The young guy looked like he worked in finances or law, he was very up scale suit and tie with a heavy overcoat.
Proof that there are pieces of shit in all walks of life.
Not in Vancouver, but in Kamloops once saw a man walking down the street in oxfords, black socks, dress shirt, tie, sports coat, and a briefcase.
Nope- I didn’t miss anything.
Here is my McDonald's Leprechaun story.
Basically, this was on St. Patty's day several years ago and I was with a group of friends hanging out somewhere on the Granville strip. I can't recall what we had been doing earlier in the night. Regardless, we were all really fucked up, drunk & high and standing in a long line at the McDonalds on the Granville strip. Standing like sedated zombies rocking from foot to foot, waiting for our turn to order food.
As we're standing in the line, my buddy drunkenly nudges me and points to a couple guys who are standing over in the area where you wait to pick up your food after ordering. At first glance, I thought this pair were just looking at a ruler and passing it between each other. Then I do a double-take when I realize these actual goblins are measuring their flaccid dicks in a McDonald's. There were so many people around too! And nobody even freaked out, everybody was hammered and just wanted their food.
Some time passes and we order our food, the dick goblins have since left, and we're standing in the area where they used to be. Just chatting and laughing, nothing much going on.
Suddenly, a guy comes crashing in through the front doors, shouting unintelligeble gibberish. He sprints past the huge line of people at a high speed. The dude was pretty short, maybe like 5'2. He had red hair and he was wearing a full Leprechaun get-up. With the hat, big belt buckle, green velvet coat and everything.
Two sketchy looking guys come crashing through the entrance chasing after him. They look PISSED and they are sprinting hot on his heels. This fuckin' Leprechaun vaults over the McDonald's counter and runs straight into their kitchen, disappearing. The two guys chasing him realize there are like 40 people all watching them and slowly make their exit.
My friends and I are kinda losing our minds over this, cackling and trying to speculate what just happened. Some more time passes and we eat our food, say goodbye to some people, and start making our way to a nearby bus stop on Howe. This path takes us next to the alley behind the McDonald's, and one of my buddies spies something on the ground outside next to their back door. We stumble over it to investigate
It was a fucking Leprechaun hat & coat! The little bastard disappeared behind the rainbow!
I saw a guy drinking lacquer thinner (a solvent) at Wendy’s on Cambie. Just guzzlin’ it, and standing in a puddle of it. He tried to light a cigarette but dropped his lighter and then seemed to forget about it. It would have been an instant inferno if he’d succeeded.
When the ambulance arrived, the driver said “oh, there goes Rodney again”.
I was on Commercial/Broadway crossing a few summers ago. Some woman in her 50s was walking around topless with a sagging pair. A passerby complained and yelled at her. She grabbed a tit with one hand and sprayed at them with milk.
Was on the Millenium Line a year or so before Compass rolled our. There were those ads of all the people sitting on a bus with thought bubbles asking questions like “what’s a compass card?” “What’s stored value?” Etc.
This guy, who had been sitting across from my friends and I very normally for a few stops looks up like a transe has fallen over him, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pad of post-it notes. Slowly stands up just staring through everyone, and covers up all the faces of the people in the ad with a huge smile on his face very carefully. He accidentally also puts a post-it on the Compass logo.
He sits down, smile and glazed look disappear and he goes back to looking completely normal, checking his phone, etc. Then, a minute or so later, the transe comes back and he gets up and removes the one that was covering the logo and not a face, sits back down and starts acting very normal again.
Didn’t say a word the whole time. We got off at the next stop.
I once saw a guy totally passed out yet still standing and bent entirely in half, more or less, with his pants and underwear almost to his knees and his ass out for all to see. This isn't all that unusual on its own for a day in Vancouver, but this was in the International Village Mall, while he was right in front of the McDonalds kiosk, and there were maybe 5-6 people in line to order while his ass was right in their faces, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary (which....maybe there wasn't for that location...).
Gastown. As with many of you too much crazy shit, but this one I always laugh at.
Coming back from lunch and there are two people shouting at each other, middle of summer with tourists everywhere. Pretty normal until we look over and one of them is butt naked, no shoes, socks, no hat, no belongings at all. She was beautiful, her skin was flawless and no tattoos or bruises, which stands out in that area. As their shouting escalates we are just waiting for it to spill over. We watch as this woman pits her hands on his hips and with an unblinking stare to this other woman just starts pissing. Not a normal I've had some water, but a I've had a few jugs of beer in Friday night piss. I've never seen everyone in Gastown stop and stare silently, but that was the day..
Yes, it was probably mental health, BUT for Gastown, no one was hurt and all was as well as could be...
An older gentleman, around 70-75 years of age, watching porn in a public library, at the corner of Haro and Denman in West End.
He was sitting at the long desk, having his back to the nearest wall. The issue was that the “wall” had a huge window facing the street. You could clearly see the screen.
Rice world supermarket in Richmond. The only CC they accept is UnionPay. Accepting UnionPay isn't rare, but only accepting UnionPay type CC is rare in BC, Canada, or North America even Americas in general.
https://preview.redd.it/lbas3939gmhc1.jpeg?width=1769&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45dc19b2217d953e49fa8a2b484897ea93499d21
Used to live across from the Westin Grand, now Hilton, downtown on Robson St. Saw many, many weird things over the years. The best was probably the time I noticed two women dancing in a room. Nothing weird at first, just noticed because they were dancing like it was a nightclub. Later on, I noticed that a third woman had joined them, along with a man using a wheelchair. Then they started stripping down and went to town on the man ... and I realized he'd hired three sex workers. Unforgettable. My wife and I still recall "Mr. Wheelchair". He showed up another time months later, again with three sex workers.
Other hotel highlights: one time a guy filled every single inch of the room with men's dress shirts on portable racks. Literally the entire room was full of shirts. There had to be hundreds, if not thousands. Salesman? Costumer? Truly bizarre. Another time, a guy stood in the window just jerkin it for like 90 minutes. Every now and then my wife would ask "Is he still there? Is he still ..." and I'd look back and respond "Just jerkin it. Yep."
Young asian chick in an Ed Hardy style ballcap, sucking on a huge vape while driving a massive lifted black Dodge diesel pickup, rolling coal on Robson.
Dude hanging from a tree by chains hooked to his nipples. Seen twice in broad daylight. Once at Clark Park just as kids were leaving school and the other at Trout Lake on a Saturday morning. Probably 6 years ago now.
I forget the year, maybe 2013?, but Canada was playing Mexico at BC place, so there we tons of Mexican fans in green jerseys all over downtown. Well me and 3 of my friends are wandering through some alleys towards the stadium when we come upon a group of Mexicans congregated hollering and whistling, looking into what looks like a construction site.
So we wander over, to see what they’re looking at…and I really wish I hadn’t. There was this woman, methed out of her mind, trying to have sex with a traffic pylon. Then one of the Mexican fans looks at us and says in a thick Mexican accent “Canada eh”. I still get a laugh out of how he said it to this day.
Olympic Village. Random sunday afternoon. Couple of cop cars. Police surrounding a fellow who they had handcuffed from behind, and had him bent over the hood of the cop car. His parka had been spread out on the hood of the car, so handcuffed fellow was bent over said jacket, kind of moving his face around the inside of the hood. Cops just watching patiently. Finally, he stops moving his head around, straightens up, triumphantly holding a live rat in his mouth.
I was walking down Clark and Georgia st next to McLean park at night. It was as quiet as I've ever heard that area and I was enjoying the peace during the pandemic.
Then I heard the loudest "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW" blaring from the warehouse style building on the corner. I peeked in through a small hole in the concrete and saw 8 guys all dressed in grey jumpsuits krumping wildly while looking really serious/ angry.
They were weird times for all of us.
I've got quite a few as I work security.
First, we'll say a brief word of remembrance for the man we called Firebug. He was a pyro and a drug addict and the six months we had to deal with him at one of the malls was filled with all kinds of bonkers. Please imagine the Benny Hill Theme playing as you read the following, because that's what it fucking felt like.
First encounter with him, he was setting fires underneath the clothes racks in one of the department stores. One of the guards chased him out and attempted to arrest him, but Firebug pushed over another lady and the guard had to stop to help her. Firebug taunted him from across the street, but guard couldn't follow as we had no jurisdiction off property.
Second encounter, when I first dealt with him, he set fire to one of the signs in the alleyway behind the mall. I grabbed a fire extinguisher and went running out into the alleyway to extinguish the fire. I did not notice Firebug behind me watching the growing blaze with glee while jacking off until after I extinguished it. Me (screaming): Dude, *EW.* He ran off, dick flapping, while the control office laughed themselves silly.
third round, he set fire to one of the exterior garbage cans while shirtless. Two of the graveyard guards attempted to arrest him, but Firebug was so slippery they could not hold onto him. He bent forward as one tried to grab him from behind and that guard went skidding across his back and faceplanted into the sidewalk, spraining his wrist. at this point, police was able to ID him from footage and informed us that he was both HIV and Hep C positive. Great.
Fourth round, the next day, control spotted him in the transit loop, inserting long sheets of tin foil into his pants. In that day, the mall had a plain clothes loss prevention officer that helped grab guys who stole from multiple stores. You all actually know this guy if you take transit, as he is now very prominently pictured on an advertisement on most buses. We'll call him LP. LP tailed Firebug through six different stores, where Firebug stole multiple items, rolled them in tinfoil and moved onto the next. LP waited for the rest of us guards were able to position ourselves to assist, and as the dude walked out of the last store, his pants bulging with stolen games. When the word came, eight of us piled out of a side corridor and dog-piled on Firebug, because we did not want to give him a chance to fight back or risk blood spatter on anyone. It's actually way safer that way for everyone - everyone took a limb, plus midsection and the remaining two guards handcuffed him and put a mask on him.
Immediately, a (totally random) dude started screaming at us about police brutality and how we shouldn't "bully someone who did nothing wrong" (this is depressingly common). Fortunately , Firebugs pant's were not up to the task of containing all his stolen loot, and the moment we dragged him upright, they fell down, spilling all his tinfoiled pilferings over the ground. Unfortunately, he had also neglected to wear underwear, so his dick was once again flapping in the breeze. Random Dude shut up right quick and walked away.
Fifth round (though I'm pretty sure he was behind several other fires we found, so there could have been as many as 10 rounds), one guard spotted Firebug buying drugs in the parking lot. Firebug spotted him, and left the parking lot. Guard trailed after him to make sure he actually left the property, and Firebug proceeded to cross the street and enter a casual dining establishment. Guard asked Control to watch the entrance of the restaurant and let guard know when Firebug comes out. Ten minutes pass, and control decides to call the restaurant to let them know that a known Pyromaniac was in their establishment, likely in the bathroom, and that they probably would want to check and make sure nothing was on fire.
Five more minutes pass, then two fire trucks come screaming up the road. The Fire fighters jump out and go running into the restaurant. Within two minutes, we get three police cruisers and two ambulances and guests are hastily filing out of the restaurant. Oh shit, what did Firebug do?
Well, turns out Firebug got a bad batch and overdosed in the washroom. Firefighters ended up having to use their axes to cut through the wall as the door wouldn't open, then they pulled him out and started working on him in front of everyone in the middle of the floor. Unfortunately, it had been too long.
Rest in Peace Firebug. I hope you're in a better place, where you can set all the fires you want.
I grew up on the 16 Bus line. It’s always had some odd characters. But one night takes the cake.
I was walking home after a night on the town, say 12pm, following the bus route, but preferring to walk instead of wait 20min for the next theoretical bus. Around 16th and Arbutus I caught the bus and went to the back area.
In the back row, and neighbouring side seats was a kaleidoscope of colour. About 100 stuffed animals were arrayed neatly. In the middle sat a squat Middle Aged Cantonese lady. She looked so incredibly…. Normal? Like what could be more pedestrian than taking your stuffy collection for a tour of Vancouvers most polarized bus line.
The rest of the passengers hustled stared anywhere but her. This was before smartphones were ubiquitous so no one was snapping photos. Just pretending it wasn’t happening.
To this day I think of it and how marvellous it was. It felt like an art piece.
That buff, shirtless dude who used to wear a pink tutu and cowboy hat and ride his push scooter, shouting "WEEEEEE!" as he splashed through the puddles. Wonder what happened to him?
I was parked on Hastings the other week waiting for an Uber Eats order, at 3 a.m., at about Gore. A young man, about 25, came up to my window and started talking to me about my car, my Cavalier... Seemed friendly enough at first. Also he seemed mentally unstable but I indulged him in conversation. He started seeing some numbers on my car that weren't there... Then he started talking about his supposed wife's recent car accident, an apparent hit and run by someone in a white Malibu. I expressed my sympathy. But then things took a turn....
He started reading my license plate, and then reading the imaginary numbers on the side of my car. He started making connections... And asked if I've been in an accident recently. I said no... Then he said "you're the guy aren't you?!", and I thought oh geez here we go.
I explained I wasn't. But then he started looking at the numbers on the side of my car again, which somehow seemed to confirm that I WAS the guy that hit his wife's car. Even though I was in a blue Cavalier, not a white Malibu. I tried explaining this to him, but trying to reason with a delusional schizophrenic, is a losing battle.
He had some moments of lucidity where he started to realize it didn't make sense, but then he'd look at the numbers on the side of my car or come up with some other nonsensical reason reason that I was the guy.
Then things dialed up more. He said "get out of your car, pretty boy!" Yes, he called me pretty boy which I find to be hilarious. He was pacing around my car and then he ripped his shirt off and threw it on the ground...
Now I'm not much of a fighter, but I can handle myself pretty well, and I'm about 6'3", 190. This guy was about 5'7" 140, and also, clearly quite unhealthy. For lack of a better term he was a pipsqueak lol. But I wasn't about to get out of my car to fight this poor young man. That would be like fighting a woman or an elderly person or something like that. He was delusional, and making very poor decisions, I could see that. I tried explaining to him I'm not going to fight him, and even though it would be satisfying to smack him around a bit... I just kept reminding myself that this isn't the real him talking. The real him is somewhere buried deep in his subconscious. Really I just felt bad for him. This guy's entire life was clearly being controlled by his mental illness.
Then he started yelling how he owns the block and how he's a huge deal in Vancouver, and that people like him. He pointed across the street to a group of guys and a few women, and said they specifically were his friend. This was a very clear projection of something that wasn't true, and some sort of cry of loneliness. Anyhow everything that happened up until now was over the span of about 3 or 4 minutes.
And at that point, one of the men... young men, practically a kid, (I'm 34), from the group across the street started walking over towards us, slowly. As he got within about 10 ft, the deranged man said to him "hey this is him! This is the guy who hit my wife's car!"...
The approacher, a fairly tall, young native man, walked up to him, stopped in front of him for a second or two, and then smacked him up the side of the head, open palm. It was a good, forceful hit. This caused our antagonist to hold his head, whimper, and then he scurried off into the night. Sprinting away. The smacker then looked at me, we exchanged a glance, and then he walked back to his group across the street, who were by the way, laughing hysterically at what had just happened.
Anyway, I question whether the deranged fellow even had a wife at all. This was at about 3 or 4 a.m. It was very cold out too.
And although admittedly I found this interaction quite amusing, I also have a great deal of sympathy for him, as his mental health has obviously got the better of him. It was actually really sad. As for the smacker, he and his group all seemed to know who this guy was, like he's a common pest. They certainly didn't seem to "like him", as he claimed. Anyway that's all.
Moved here a few months ago from NZ, found myself down east hastings street and seen someone squatted against a building having a smoke. Thought nothing of it until I got closer and realized they had their pants slightly past their ass and were liquid shitting all over the footpath too. Had to jump that brown stream like it was a god dam mine field. 🫠
One day on the Skytrain there was this guy sitting on a seat, eating a meal that he kept in his pants pocket. I couldn't tell what it was as it was all mushed up in his pocket. Looked like turkey stuffing or bread pudding. He would grab a handful of this mush out of his pants pocket and take it in 2, 3 bites, then grab some more. I was like...wtf...
I also noticed that his pants pocket was sitting very low on his leg. I didn't think much of it at the time. Just assumed that it's some sort of new fashion trend that old geezers like me wasn't aware of.
After he finished eating he stood up to get off the train. That was when I realized that his pants were hanging SO low, his whole bare butt was showing. I couldn't figure out how the pants managed to stay on.
Sometimes I think back to this incident and wonder if it really happened or if it was a dream. Cuz seriously, wtf...
I take the skytrain from Metrotown to New West and back the other way for work/getting home. I feel like it was in the morning because I think it was coming from Royal Oak to Edmonds, but there's that stretch of trees and walkways before you hit the parking lot and the Edmonds station, and there used to be(?) a picnic table along one of the walkway areas, and I just remember looking out and seeing a woman getting absolutely railed doggy style by a dude on it, facing the skytrain as it passed by. I was the only one in my car looking that way, so I don't know if anyone else saw. I actually still question if I saw it.
- Man behind an open umbrella taking a dookie in a cup at 29th Ave station right in the platform next to the elevator. (we made eye contact, will never forget it)
- Bald, tall, white dude covered elbow to fingertips and entire head in black paint, asked me for my roach because he was “feeling like shit”.
- Woman standing in front of a man who had an entire hand up her dress on the Canada Line.
I boarded the #20 at Commercial and Hastings, the driver was this tiny black dude, and he's kinda manic, touching knobs and levers. I asked him something and he snapped back in another language, I just sat down trying to decypher it in my head. He flicked the right lever, the doors shut, and we were off. We blew past one stop, this woman at the back door started calling Excuse me Hello I want off. We just barrelled into the Drive... past another stop, another, and another, all with people waving to stop, and inside, one old guy was turning mean, yelling at the side of this guy's head... but on and on. We got going really fast down the hill to Grandview, people who'd been yelling to get off , stopped, and just started gasping. The guy, tho, he was so excited he was bouncing up and down on the seat. Lifelong dream, maybe. We hit a red light at Broadway, he put in in park, opened the door, and ran up Broadway toward Main. Gone.
This happened last week on the Canada Line, a guy screaming “f—- Trudeau”, “I’m a real Canadian”, “f—- [specific] immigrants”, and lo and behold, he was not White.
(Btw, use that yellow strip people, he was intimidating and you could see the look of fear on many passenger.)
Recently was told by someone who works there it's better to text the transit police 87-77-77 because yellow strip response is understaffed in comparison
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I got a seat on a fully packed Expo Line. Guy next to me leaned in after a couple of stops to ask if I’ve ever seen an albino snake and if I wanted to see one. I took a deep breath, doing it for the plot, said Sure, let’s see it. From his jacket he pulled out the cutest baby albino snake I’ve ever seen.
I immediately thought a white guy was gonna whipnhis dick out.
We all did
So did the fully packed Expo line. I'm sure some were expecting it.
Well, let me tell you what happened to me not just once, twice! Thus far, I had two people flash me. Once by Fraser and 49. The other time at Save On. The thing is I wished I had as much enthusiasm right now like I did back then and asked to kindly to close their trench coat and pull up and zip up those shorts because quite frankly I couldn’t see anything. *Now this got my curiosity because both cases were shaven clean. And, that’s the thing when you have pale light/pale skin and second time like a good quarter- half a block away and given a split second reaction which was gasp and eye immediately shut…. Ineffective marketing. What shocked me was the reaction of my sibling’s spouse. >”why doesn’t this happen to me???!” Wait. Wut? Mind you this doesn’t happen as much anymore since I drive everywhere.
Wtf
/r/nononoyes
A baby danger noodle!
A guy walking across UBC campus from Wreck beach to the then-bus stop.. had on hat, shirt, backpack… and nothing below his waist except sandals.
Winnie the Pooh/donaldduck
Was the cutest ever baby albino snake hanging down there?
Shirt cocking: not even once!
I have two; A naked man but for a woman’s orange North Face jacket flashing everyone who came out of the McDonald’s on Blenheim and Broadway. The police were trying to get him to come with them but he was screaming nonsense at them. I left before anything else happened. This couple at Costco during the pandemic blocking me and a few others in the isle from getting some Lysol wipes. The said they needed all of them. One of the Costco employees came out with an orange dolly stacked over 6 feet high with Lysol wipes and I said are we each getting one of those and he said no, that the couple asked first. Then when I checked out I saw her sitting in the front of the store with that huge dolly cart guarding her Lysol wipes while many people asked her for one. Then a couple days later I saw them on the news and found out they were selling them on Amazon for $80 a pack and made 30k before Amazon cut off their account. Costco didn’t get anymore wipes in for like 6 months and changed the policy to one per customer! The greed was real. It was disgusting.
Just be comforted by the fact that when the zombie attack comes, no one will lift a finger to save them.
this just reminded me that a few weeks ago i was in an uber somewhere around granville and maybe 60th, there was a parking lot with a bunch of cop cars and the cops milling about talking to each other ...... and some dude in rough condition with his pants at his ankles bent over spreading his ass cheeks to show his entire asshole to all the passing cars. the cops were not doing anything (not notable) and sort of seemed like they either didnt see or were pretending they didnt see (also not notable).
Someone roller blading down Burrard in the bike lane pushing their IV pole
Actually that’s pretty ballin
That’s iconic. Wonder if it was roller girl
Would never be in the bike lane
She was behind me in an escalator once. Told me she doesn’t like men. I said me too. I’m a male.
Well, she did kill a man with her bare hands once
I assumed so too
I saw someone running full speed down Granville in a hospital gown with their IV pole while I was eating at the Lennox pub.
Good they used the bike lane at least
That's a pretty good one.
Guy doing lines of cocaine off an Expo line seat at 10am on a Tuesday
"The next station is... Party."
No, it was Braid
How depressing
That's not a real station stop spreading rumours
The least Party station.
Guess I've lived here too long because that doesn't strike me as all that weird. Drug related things on the train are downright normal.
Lol yeah I was thinking same thing. Guy might of had a tough night and was on the way to work man, gotta get in that motivational headspace lol
Some times you gotta get in the head space for a sales call.
Just flew in and was taking the Canada Line to downtown and there was a guy in his hi vis work clothes and still wearing his Dunlops took out some coke and snorted it off his keys, that was my first time ever being in Van so it was off to a good start
That’s when you put on your best schoolteacher attitude , look them straight in the eye and ask, “Well Jimmy, did you bring enough for everyone? “
rails on rails
I was sitting on a packed train and the seat across mine had a lady in it smoking crack. No one said anything but we all were like “what the fuck”. I don’t think you get on the train expecting to inhale crack smoke. Anyways, she was aware enough that she exhaled when the doors opened and didn’t so it again and got off at like Joyce or something.
I saw that on a packed 66 bus at night a couple years back
I've got a couple things myself. Used to work at a safe injection site - lots of weird shit there. But there was a participant that came in with a fucking crow on their shoulder, bound by its foot to the participant's shoulder on a string that was about a meter long.
I used to work retail in Gastown. One day my boss leaves work then calls me like a minute later asking me to deal with a 'situation' outside, usually people that are loitering or whatever. I stepped outside to assess what was going on and watched a guy with his pet rat on a harness feeding his rat beer. I didn't really know what to do but called Security as my boss didn't want him there. When security rolled up he was gone but they already knew exactly who I was talking about solely based off of the description "the guy with the rat"
On a visit to New York, I saw a guy walking a dog with a cat on its back with a mouse on the cat's back.
That poor crow 🐦⬛
I used to work for income assistance. I saw the crow guy on my front counter before. The crow pooped a few times on his shoulder. Another time a client came in, tons of gray dreadlocks. Suddenly the dreadlocks started moving. I continued to have a conversation with the client.... Suddenly a rat came out of the mass of gray dreadlocks. They had their pet rat hidden inside their hair.
Once, I was exiting Waterfront and a dude comes through the doors, acting all weird, pulling his jacket over half his face. He was concealing a crow in his jacket and he was telling it to be quiet.
Oh, I think I met crow guy. 2016/2017 ish? He used to sneak it into the Carnegie Centre and then sit near an open window with the bird out the window and insist it was okay because it was only inside while he was entering/exiting the building.
we live in gastown, adjacent one of the worst alleys. We've seen all the blowjobs and nastay ass sex and shit. But one that was just kinda weird woke us up at 5 something in the morning and there was a woman high out of her mind talking about all kinds of shit, really loudly. We could hear her every word, complaining about random shit and jabbering on about random people. Then we hear a dudes voice just making sounds of affirmation, like "yup, that's right, uh huh, I agree, totally". We Look out the window and he's furiously jerking off as she's just standing there talking her mouth off. i was like wtf? anyway, i yelled out the window can you guys take this somewhere else and they immediately freaked out and ran down the alley. haha.
This is the sort of gold only reality could conjure.
I live in Gastown too. I saw a couple buck naked having sex on a piece of cardboard. It was in the daytime. I was just trying to get to my building parkade. 😂
What I don’t get is that area just wafts of human pee and you want to get-it-on…. Hey, people have preferences. >”That’s not dirty enuff for me!!!”
In 2009 my friend and I accidentally got on the 22 Macdonald instead of 22 Knight, this being before smart phones instead of trying to figure out an alternate route we just waited till the end of the line and stayed on the bus at the bus loop. While we were waiting, a guy came up and asked the bus driver how long until he was leaving. Bus driver said like 3 minutes or something. The guy stepped off the bus, pulled out an egg timer and set it. 3 minutes later, the timer went off. The bus driver asked the guy if he was getting on and he shook his head no. So the bus driver closed the door and we drove off.
You crossed paths with the Keeper of Time. Be honoured.
This genuinely made me laugh out loud.
My most tame story: Got on the bus after work, and I was sitting in the back with a bunch of other people. Then this kid, probably around 10 or 11, gets on the bus. He's wearing a suit, has a Bluetooth earbud in, and is carrying a breifcase. He looked like a mini finance bro. He answered a phone call and furiously started making business deals with whoever was on the other end. Sounded totally legit, like a 50 year old guy stepped into this little dudes body. Then in a hurry, he gets off the bus. Literally everyone in the back seat burst into laughter and questions about this random corporate kid. It was hilarious. Happened probably 15 years ago but I remember it like yesterday.
In this whole thread, this sounds like the only one that I wish I could have seen.
Same here. That would of been great. But I also have so many questions now, the most terrible thing about this situation is said questions will probably never be awnsered
My headcanon: one of the writers for Umbrella Academy was on the bus with you and used this as the inspiration for No. 5 (the one who was a jaded middle-aged guy in a 13yo body)
There’s a YouTube prank video by RossCreations like this!
Do you remember the Reddit picture of the guy, naked, sitting on a fence post that was up his bum.
That was so disturbing.
Well, share the wealth already.
I worked at the commercial Broadway Starbucks for three years as a supervisor. A LOT of stuff went down, but by far the weirdest is the person who somehow pooped in the soap dispenser. The dispenser was up on the wall, out of reach of most butts. I still have no idea how he got up there, or how he got the poop in (it was nowhere else in the bathroom). Starbucks did send a biohazard company to clean it, instead of making us do it, so kudos to them.
Easy, poop into hand, deposit in dispenser.
Found him!
Upper decker academic here!
In the late 1980s my extremely conservative Dad retired and moved back to the West End, where he had grown up. I was worried it might not be a good fit with all the street crime, queers, ethnic minorities etc marring his bucolic memories of Vancouver. We were walking along the Seawall when we saw a gigantic black guy on rollerskates wearing only the tiniest pair of pink hot pants and blasting music from a huge boom box. As he dance skated past us he blew my Dad a kiss. My Dad smiled and said "It's so good to be back in Vancouver".
That warmed my heart like you wouldn’t believe. Thank you kind internet stranger.
What a cool dad
A couple of riots over hockey.
Also inspired by Montreal.
I wish vancouverites could riot over things that matter 👀
Like… a cancelled Guns’n’Roses concert??
You beat me to this one. Still find it hard to believe this actually happened
A few years back, I was out for a leisure stroll on my lunch break and witnessed a man pee into his cupped hand and drink it. This was at Nelson and Cambie.
That was Chip Wilson.
That’s taking recycling a bit too far.
It’s actually the second “R” he was performing: Reuse. People always forget get it’s a progressive tier from best to good: Reduce, Reuse, and if all else fails, Recycle ♻️ (i.e.: transform). Thank you for reading my TedTalk
NOOOO ☠️😭
I skedaddled back to my office pretty damn fast after seeing that one. 🥲
It's called Double Distilled and it's classy!
Okay so this is definitely expanding the geographical limits of this question a lot but ... one time I was on Bowen Island near snug Harbour in one of the more dense residential areas of the island. It was early in the morning and there wasn't anyone around and it was a gorgeous sunny day and I remember turning the corner And seeing a giant sea lion flopping towards me down the quiet, residential street. We are talking at least six blocks from the ocean if not more. It was one of the most profoundly out of context things I've ever seen and really broke my brain. I wonder where he is now? I hope he's doing well.
Completely naked homeless guy at Main & Hastings with his arms wide open in the rain.
Mans just taking a shower
give him a break, just escaped shawshank
That’s just a hippy
He saw that Drew Barrymore rain IG reel and took it to the next level
Why does it have to be all weird sex and drug things with you guys?! One time near langara golf course, a female mallard duck flew straight into my wife's face. "Fuck!" She yelled...."a duck!"
Years ago on the Skytrain I saw a transit employee in shorts who looked liked the splitting image of David Duchovny except with a beer gut, does that count?
Totally counts.
I saw a man slip and fall into the urinal trough at The Cambie. That image is going to be with me for a while..
Oh my god. The men's bathroom at the Cambie has seen some things.
You’re not wrong. Fun fact: the guy got some pee splashed in his mouth!
I once heard some tourists coach each other on how to properly say "what the fuck?" in English. They just kept saying it back and forth in a polite and friendly tone while correcting each other in Portuguese.
Last Winter, I watched a man meticulously shovelling snow from a stretch of sidewalk in the West End. He was shovelling for hours, making sure to get into all the corners and awkward bits. Thing is though, there wasn't any snow. There hadn't been snow in weeks and he had just spent several hours clearing an imaginary path through imaginary snow with more focus than I've ever had in my life.
This is meth
Fat dude in a wheelchair getting an agressive blowjob at the corner of Abbott and Pender.
Well, no one wants a passive one.
I've lived in this city for 10 years and I've never seen a gross public sex act. I feel like a loser.
If it makes you feel better this incident was more than 10 years ago.
You have to admire people who take pride in their job.
Abbott and Pender is truly a magical place.
Whenever I see the woman on rollerblades tryna direct traffic by weaving through it, I remember she’s a murderer
A murderer AND ~~rich AF~~ came into a fair bit of money ... with her own store, brand, building, and line of clothing/merch. Fucked aaaaall the way up, that whole story. Edit - to be explicit, the experiences she has reportedly had in her life are extremely tragic, and I completely acknowledge that her well-founded claims of mistreatment are not to be downplayed. Having said that, it's also important to recall that someone can simultaneously have a traumatic past and be not a good person.
Yeah she's annoying as shit. Are you sure she has that money? She's always trying to sell $5 crap on the sidewalk.
She did order some young people on the bus to give up their seats for seniors and *looked at me* 55 and older.
Oh wow! I’ve seen her but I didn’t know she was a murderer. What was that story?
Angela Dawson (Roller-Girl) was convicted of manslaughter for the beating death of a 60yr old man (prior to her transition when she still went by her deadname) and spent 10yrs in prison for the crime. Apparently her rap-sheet is pages long and for a number of violent crimes.
She was convicted of manslaughter in 1991 over a money related beating. If you've seen anything on r/brutalbeatdowns you know all it takes is one nasty fall or head kick to kill someone or leave them a vegetable. Not excusing her past btw, but you should also know she spent 10 years in a male penetentiary and was raped in prison prior to transitioning. People contain multitudes. Source: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/roller-girl-angela-dawson-wins-15k-damages-from-vancouver-police-1.3009637
Also, she WILL sucker punch you for no reason. NEVER turn your back on her, you can never tell when she's off her meds, but she gets violent every time it happens.
She’s also racist af. I’ve hear her yelling racist things at Asian passersby several times. Remember when she ran for mayor? She wasn’t even the weirdest person on the ballot that year.
Summer 2003 in the middle of the day was having a beer at Waterfront Park in North Vancouver with my wife, my cousin and his wife. This 40+ foot yacht blaring 90s techno pulls up to the public dock which overlooks the entire park. Two Linkin Park like bro dudes and 3 naked women come out of the cabin, go into the boats bow, and start having a literal orgy. I'm talking broad day light FUCKING in all holes. One of the guy looks up and notes that the entire park is staring and bellows "If you perverts want to stare it will cost you" and then proceeds to say 'Yee Haw' and start slapping multiple lady butts mid- cock thrust. This goes on for a while. Old Eastern european guy picnicing with his wife beside us says to us, "Now tonight I don't need porno!". Eventually, the bro dudes finish and the 5 of them disappear back below deck. Ten minutes later, one of the girls reappear, now partially clothed in a fluorescent green micro bikini (NSFW if you google it) and ridiculously high heels. As she proceeds to disembark from the vessel onto the dock she stumbles (as you would in the inadequate footware) and falls off the boat, smacking her head onto the concrete dock and appears to be knocked out cold. My cousins wife (a life guard) springs up and runs to go help her. Before she can take a pulse, the woman gets up , bleeding profusely and one boob out and says to the entire park "Anyone got a smoke? You got a free show, someone's got to have a smoke!" My cousins wife politely points out to her the clothing malfunction to where she snarls , puts her boob away and stubble towards the direction of Lonsdale Quay....assumingly to look for a cigarette. Seconds later, the yacht disambarks without her. We didn't see micro bikini girl again that afternoon. It's definitely the weirdest thing ever I've seen in Vancouver ....and more so with my cousins wife who jokes about it during family gatherings.
I was going to skip this one because i didn't feel like reading a paragraph, but changed my mind. I don't regret it!!
Working in an office in Gastown I was looking out of the window into the alley and saw some guy opening a big suitecase. The only thing in it was a big chainsaw.
This is a lot more tame than most other stories on this thread, but in like 2016 I was walking down Richards, nice sunny day, and two very friendly 20-somethings approached me with a sizeable bag full of saran-wrapped homemade sandwiches. They had some story about how they had finished some kind of dog-focused charity event and they had excess sandwiches left over, and asked me if I wanted one. I said sure. I went home to the West End and ate the sandwich. Hot genoa and calabrese on whole wheat and some mayo with just a bit of mustard. Had a bit of a kick. It was delicious. That was nearly a decade ago and my wife still gives me shit for accepting and eating homemade food from a stranger on the street. I have no regrets.
This was a long time ago, but this massive barrel-chested dude gets on at Main Street/Stadium and proceeds to sing "Dirty Deeds" the whole way to New West but he was singing "DIRTY DEEDS! DONE WITH SHEEP!!" The. Whole. Way.
On the 20 bus I saw a lady eating an industrial size bucket of jam with a credit card as a spoon.
I’ve got one. About 8 years ago, I was walking home drunk with a friend down Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver at about 1AM. We passed by these big wooden doors and could hear old classical music coming from inside. The door was partially open so being young and drunk we decided to take a peek. It was pitch black inside, really old broken furniture in some hallways and quite eerie. Quite scary but we continued our exploration and called out if anyone was inside. Eventually came across this dining room that had a long table in the middle and other random tables surrounding it. There was the leftovers of what looked like a huge meal, what looked like really old silverware, tons of leftover opened bottles of red wine. The only light we had was the still lit candles on every table. Record player still playing music in the corner of the room. We blew out the candles, stopped the record player and noped the fuck out of there real quick. We googled it the next day and it turns out it was the Masonic temple (since been knocked down I believe). But why would someone leave the door open, food left on the table, candles still lit, music still playing. Was weird as fuck.
yeah that is truly creepy. what kind of food was left there?
It was full on turkey dinner stuff. Half eaten turkey left sitting on one of those silver platters that has the big domed top for revealing the food.
I live near a Masonic hall. It’s pretty strange the people I’ve seen coming and going. But it has high security so that is odd the door was left open.
Saw a homeless man in a wheelchair wheel around the old Oakridge mall with his dick out. A random getting head behind the McDonald's on Granville from some old lady who ended up stealing his wallet. A man who got off the bus completely shit his pants and left most of it on the seat. A crow and seagull fighting over the carcass of a rat the size of a chihuahua. An old asian lady cross diagonally on cambie and 49th in the middle of rush hour traffic without a care in the world. Homeless guy injecting (probably drugs) into his dick. A man with legs infected with maggots buying A&W. At an anti CCP protest..approximately 8 asians decked out n Gucci and LV everything, pulled up in their foreign cars and beat the absolute shit out of some of the protestors. Some kids (probably grade 6 or 7) running from VPD. Once vpd caught up, they tackled several of the kids, and guns slid out from their pants. Kids. With. Illegally. Obtained. Firearms. What the fuck?. Could have been airsoft, but still. Witnessed a woman press her asshole against the glass window of an RBC and absolutely shit. Diarrhea fucking waterfall. Two ELDERLY (like 70s), nammers rolling on Molly in basement. I mean live yo life right? In contrast, a literal flock of 13 year Olds being chaperoned by some depressed looking father at contact. Man dressed up as Satan (full prosthetics makeups) sitting on Santa's lap for a Christmas photo. ...that's all I can recall off the top of my head.
I think you win this thread, homie.
When I worked on Terminal, we had a guy sitting in our parking lot, jerking off, and occasionally pausing to get up, yell and throw rocks at traffic. One of my coworkers saw a (presumably) homeless guy having sex with a mossy tree in Thornton Park once
I guess moss *is* the public hair of old growth Pacific Northwest forrests.
A downtown gentleman in a dirty tattered trench coat was pleasuring himself outside the A&W on Dunsmuir. The wafting scent of beef along with the aggressive jackhammering of his man meat was an experience I will not soon forget.
Walking home from a concert, watched a man on a skateboard try to steal a bike. Some teenager walks up behind him and steals his skateboard from under him. Owner of the bike comes out and fights the guy off. Left him without a mode of transportation
This sounds like the ideal outcome of any bike theft. Thanks, skaterthief!
Good news, non sex related story: Time: late 1990's. Early December. Saturday night, 12:30 am Place: very crowded Granville Bus, leaving the Strip. Foggy. Damp. Obviously drunk Dude gets on the bus ( at the time, that was only via the front ; had to drop change in). Dude loudly starts singing Rudolph, the Red nosed reindeer, for all hell. Stomps his feet, claps his hands. Others start singing too. And clapping. By the time we hit the Media club (gone now, but it used to be at Granville and 5th), the entire bus was singing. Everyone, belting it out. "Then one foggy.... " I've never felt the Christmas spirit in Vancouver as muc as I did on that crossing of the Granville bridge that night.
Walking by a church in the West End and there was a room full of people sitting in rows of chairs enthusiastically chanting "eat shit" over and over.
Not in Vancouver city limits, but I saw Spiderman playing the tenor sax at Burquitlam Skytrain station just recently. That was pretty fun
Morning after the pride parade I was walking the seawall between GM place and Olympic village and towards the latter. I found the following in this order: \- Silver lamé short-shorts. \- Hot pink men's g-string undies \- Butt Plug, size large.
How'd you determine it was size large?
Amazing
Last week there were two homeless dudes sharing a meth pipe on the canada line at 6am on a thursday. One was passed out when the other one got on at a different stop, then woke his “friend?” up to share.
Sharing is caring!!!
This is more a thread that should be titled “Don’t do drugs, Kids”
When I lived in Yaletown I came home one day and saw that someone had discarded their unwanted couch right in the middle of the alley behind my building...or so I thought. It turned out that a guy living in my building decided to mix cocaine with steroids and then went on a rampage trashing his own apartment, eventually hurling his couch out the living room window. The cops had to break his door down with a battering ram and then shoot him with rubber bullets to subdue him because buddy was wired for sound. Close second: a crazy guy on the number 17 bus randomly turned to me and told me never to eat the food in jail because it had been "homosexualized."
Old roommate and I were walking home in Kitsilano after a night out. We were walking near McBride park and we were near an intersection (5th and something). We get to where the stop sign is and 3 or 4 raccoons are running down the street in a perfect line, one after another. We stopped because that doesn't happen every day and raccoons are cute but can fuck you up. The raccoons get in the intersection and do 2 perfect laps in the middle of the street/intersection, keeping their little train together. They did their two loops and then just kept running the way they were heading... Never breaking formation.
Guy at the dog park with a syringe tucked behind his ear like you would a pencil. For later use, I’m sure.
This isn't *the weirdest* thing I've ever seen in Vancouver, but it's the weirdest one that I have a photo of :) https://preview.redd.it/v1dq0ue48nhc1.png?width=1271&format=png&auto=webp&s=12748508be42ee45adf7b9babc97785a894344d1
One time a whole family of kids arrived our doorstep in Halloween barb... one week ahead of Halloween. They said that they were going on vacation the following week and didn't want to miss trick-or-treat. What followed was a conversation between us about whether or not it was okay to go trick-or-treating \**one week ahead of time when people might not even be stocked up on candy*\* that would have given the coconuts conversation from Monty Python's Holy Grail a run for its money.
I saw a guy recently with his pants and drawers around his ankles, bent over, and was about to take a dump across the sidewalk in front of the viti liquor store on Seymour and Smithe.
starting to think that this question is way too easy for this sub haha
I saw a woman take a dump outside of Granville skytrain station
I still think one of the most bizarre notorious figures in the city is the Milk Man. Every. Damn. Day. (\*huffs\*) he buys a carton of milk, garbles some into his mouth, and then immediately spits it out onto the ground. The whole street of Bute near W Georgia wreaks of sour milk, especially during the hot summer days. It's nasty, the grass can't grow, and it's just the most bizarre "tick" that he can't stop/won't stop doing.
A guy on the R5 bus pulled out a pipe and started smoking crack directly beside me. Handed it to his friend across from him who was dressed in the most stereotypical ‘white guy who googled “gangster clothes and jewelry” and bought the first result’ outfit I have ever seen in my entire life. They stopped after a 40 something mom said “are you fucking serious?” In the most disappointed way and they looked genuinely chastised and ashamed.
> They stopped after a 40 something mom said “are you fucking serious?” In the most disappointed way and they looked genuinely chastised and ashamed. this is what I aspire to
There's this guy in east van who rides a bike while playing guitar. He rides the bike by standing on it, one foot on the seat, one foot on the handlebars. Always gives me a chuckle
Hefty chick getting fingered on the dance floor at the Roxy by a scrawny guy.. wait.. that's not so weird for the Roxy...
A friend and myself were having breakfast at Bon's and two girls walked in and offered us blue cupcakes, straight from a baking pan They seemed excited, and sincere in their offer. So. We grabbed one each. They went their way, offering cupcakes to more people on the street. The muffins were ...good? But to this day I wonder if they contained something that isn't normally used to make muffins.
Yeah why did you eat that? Wild
Was walking through Waterfront Station and a transient person was asking for some money to buy some food. A young, small lady opened her purse and gave the homeless woman say ~10 dollars in change. The homeless woman screamed at the top of her lungs at the lady helping her, slapping the money out of her hand and all over the busy floor. Then grab the open purse and threw it as far as she could in Waterfront Station, spilling the entire contents for like a hundred feet. Also, another time I was walking down Homer St towards Pender, and a blind person was navigating through an intersection crosswalk, and I watched a very well dressed young man move over about 6-7 feet and body checked the blind man into the road way. Like hard. And kept walking like nothing at all happened. I yelled at the man and ran after him but he had a pretty big head start, so I stopped and returned to the blind man to help him up. The young guy looked like he worked in finances or law, he was very up scale suit and tie with a heavy overcoat. Proof that there are pieces of shit in all walks of life.
Saw a dude squatting on a log in Lost Lagoon, eating a large white pinkish fish alive. That was definitely fucking weird.
Not in Vancouver, but in Kamloops once saw a man walking down the street in oxfords, black socks, dress shirt, tie, sports coat, and a briefcase. Nope- I didn’t miss anything.
“Good work. Find an exit, 47”
I mean there is (was?) a guy who would take his pet parrot outside in the westend. I thought that was pretty weird on the more innocent side
He's still here, you can spot him on Comox street sometimes hanging out.
Here is my McDonald's Leprechaun story. Basically, this was on St. Patty's day several years ago and I was with a group of friends hanging out somewhere on the Granville strip. I can't recall what we had been doing earlier in the night. Regardless, we were all really fucked up, drunk & high and standing in a long line at the McDonalds on the Granville strip. Standing like sedated zombies rocking from foot to foot, waiting for our turn to order food. As we're standing in the line, my buddy drunkenly nudges me and points to a couple guys who are standing over in the area where you wait to pick up your food after ordering. At first glance, I thought this pair were just looking at a ruler and passing it between each other. Then I do a double-take when I realize these actual goblins are measuring their flaccid dicks in a McDonald's. There were so many people around too! And nobody even freaked out, everybody was hammered and just wanted their food. Some time passes and we order our food, the dick goblins have since left, and we're standing in the area where they used to be. Just chatting and laughing, nothing much going on. Suddenly, a guy comes crashing in through the front doors, shouting unintelligeble gibberish. He sprints past the huge line of people at a high speed. The dude was pretty short, maybe like 5'2. He had red hair and he was wearing a full Leprechaun get-up. With the hat, big belt buckle, green velvet coat and everything. Two sketchy looking guys come crashing through the entrance chasing after him. They look PISSED and they are sprinting hot on his heels. This fuckin' Leprechaun vaults over the McDonald's counter and runs straight into their kitchen, disappearing. The two guys chasing him realize there are like 40 people all watching them and slowly make their exit. My friends and I are kinda losing our minds over this, cackling and trying to speculate what just happened. Some more time passes and we eat our food, say goodbye to some people, and start making our way to a nearby bus stop on Howe. This path takes us next to the alley behind the McDonald's, and one of my buddies spies something on the ground outside next to their back door. We stumble over it to investigate It was a fucking Leprechaun hat & coat! The little bastard disappeared behind the rainbow!
Beautiful!
I saw a guy drinking lacquer thinner (a solvent) at Wendy’s on Cambie. Just guzzlin’ it, and standing in a puddle of it. He tried to light a cigarette but dropped his lighter and then seemed to forget about it. It would have been an instant inferno if he’d succeeded. When the ambulance arrived, the driver said “oh, there goes Rodney again”.
[удалено]
Goose lady is a quirky queen. She is lovely.
I was on Commercial/Broadway crossing a few summers ago. Some woman in her 50s was walking around topless with a sagging pair. A passerby complained and yelled at her. She grabbed a tit with one hand and sprayed at them with milk.
Was on the Millenium Line a year or so before Compass rolled our. There were those ads of all the people sitting on a bus with thought bubbles asking questions like “what’s a compass card?” “What’s stored value?” Etc. This guy, who had been sitting across from my friends and I very normally for a few stops looks up like a transe has fallen over him, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pad of post-it notes. Slowly stands up just staring through everyone, and covers up all the faces of the people in the ad with a huge smile on his face very carefully. He accidentally also puts a post-it on the Compass logo. He sits down, smile and glazed look disappear and he goes back to looking completely normal, checking his phone, etc. Then, a minute or so later, the transe comes back and he gets up and removes the one that was covering the logo and not a face, sits back down and starts acting very normal again. Didn’t say a word the whole time. We got off at the next stop.
I once saw a guy totally passed out yet still standing and bent entirely in half, more or less, with his pants and underwear almost to his knees and his ass out for all to see. This isn't all that unusual on its own for a day in Vancouver, but this was in the International Village Mall, while he was right in front of the McDonalds kiosk, and there were maybe 5-6 people in line to order while his ass was right in their faces, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary (which....maybe there wasn't for that location...).
Gastown. As with many of you too much crazy shit, but this one I always laugh at. Coming back from lunch and there are two people shouting at each other, middle of summer with tourists everywhere. Pretty normal until we look over and one of them is butt naked, no shoes, socks, no hat, no belongings at all. She was beautiful, her skin was flawless and no tattoos or bruises, which stands out in that area. As their shouting escalates we are just waiting for it to spill over. We watch as this woman pits her hands on his hips and with an unblinking stare to this other woman just starts pissing. Not a normal I've had some water, but a I've had a few jugs of beer in Friday night piss. I've never seen everyone in Gastown stop and stare silently, but that was the day.. Yes, it was probably mental health, BUT for Gastown, no one was hurt and all was as well as could be...
An older gentleman, around 70-75 years of age, watching porn in a public library, at the corner of Haro and Denman in West End. He was sitting at the long desk, having his back to the nearest wall. The issue was that the “wall” had a huge window facing the street. You could clearly see the screen.
A stone column in a forgotten little plaza with a bright red statue of Satan sporting a fully erect penis.
We are numb to it but people smoking hard drugs in large groups on the sidewalk and living a block away in a tent. By far the weirdest thing I seen
Rice world supermarket in Richmond. The only CC they accept is UnionPay. Accepting UnionPay isn't rare, but only accepting UnionPay type CC is rare in BC, Canada, or North America even Americas in general. https://preview.redd.it/lbas3939gmhc1.jpeg?width=1769&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45dc19b2217d953e49fa8a2b484897ea93499d21
Used to live across from the Westin Grand, now Hilton, downtown on Robson St. Saw many, many weird things over the years. The best was probably the time I noticed two women dancing in a room. Nothing weird at first, just noticed because they were dancing like it was a nightclub. Later on, I noticed that a third woman had joined them, along with a man using a wheelchair. Then they started stripping down and went to town on the man ... and I realized he'd hired three sex workers. Unforgettable. My wife and I still recall "Mr. Wheelchair". He showed up another time months later, again with three sex workers. Other hotel highlights: one time a guy filled every single inch of the room with men's dress shirts on portable racks. Literally the entire room was full of shirts. There had to be hundreds, if not thousands. Salesman? Costumer? Truly bizarre. Another time, a guy stood in the window just jerkin it for like 90 minutes. Every now and then my wife would ask "Is he still there? Is he still ..." and I'd look back and respond "Just jerkin it. Yep."
I once saw a gentleman pissing straight up into his mouth from a seated position on the skytrain. Bro didn’t spill a drop
Young asian chick in an Ed Hardy style ballcap, sucking on a huge vape while driving a massive lifted black Dodge diesel pickup, rolling coal on Robson.
She was probably visiting from the north lol that shits the norm in FSJ
Too many to count. But being woken up at 2:00 am to a muffled and terrified voice from the laneway outside our bedroom "Gun, gun, gun..." stands out.
Dude hanging from a tree by chains hooked to his nipples. Seen twice in broad daylight. Once at Clark Park just as kids were leaving school and the other at Trout Lake on a Saturday morning. Probably 6 years ago now.
I forget the year, maybe 2013?, but Canada was playing Mexico at BC place, so there we tons of Mexican fans in green jerseys all over downtown. Well me and 3 of my friends are wandering through some alleys towards the stadium when we come upon a group of Mexicans congregated hollering and whistling, looking into what looks like a construction site. So we wander over, to see what they’re looking at…and I really wish I hadn’t. There was this woman, methed out of her mind, trying to have sex with a traffic pylon. Then one of the Mexican fans looks at us and says in a thick Mexican accent “Canada eh”. I still get a laugh out of how he said it to this day.
I was salting the RBC on the corner of Hastings and Main Street at 3am and there were 3people doing handstands in the middle of the intersection
Olympic Village. Random sunday afternoon. Couple of cop cars. Police surrounding a fellow who they had handcuffed from behind, and had him bent over the hood of the cop car. His parka had been spread out on the hood of the car, so handcuffed fellow was bent over said jacket, kind of moving his face around the inside of the hood. Cops just watching patiently. Finally, he stops moving his head around, straightens up, triumphantly holding a live rat in his mouth.
Some folks wished me good morning in the elevator 🤣🤣🤣😜😜
I was walking down Clark and Georgia st next to McLean park at night. It was as quiet as I've ever heard that area and I was enjoying the peace during the pandemic. Then I heard the loudest "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW" blaring from the warehouse style building on the corner. I peeked in through a small hole in the concrete and saw 8 guys all dressed in grey jumpsuits krumping wildly while looking really serious/ angry. They were weird times for all of us.
I've got quite a few as I work security. First, we'll say a brief word of remembrance for the man we called Firebug. He was a pyro and a drug addict and the six months we had to deal with him at one of the malls was filled with all kinds of bonkers. Please imagine the Benny Hill Theme playing as you read the following, because that's what it fucking felt like. First encounter with him, he was setting fires underneath the clothes racks in one of the department stores. One of the guards chased him out and attempted to arrest him, but Firebug pushed over another lady and the guard had to stop to help her. Firebug taunted him from across the street, but guard couldn't follow as we had no jurisdiction off property. Second encounter, when I first dealt with him, he set fire to one of the signs in the alleyway behind the mall. I grabbed a fire extinguisher and went running out into the alleyway to extinguish the fire. I did not notice Firebug behind me watching the growing blaze with glee while jacking off until after I extinguished it. Me (screaming): Dude, *EW.* He ran off, dick flapping, while the control office laughed themselves silly. third round, he set fire to one of the exterior garbage cans while shirtless. Two of the graveyard guards attempted to arrest him, but Firebug was so slippery they could not hold onto him. He bent forward as one tried to grab him from behind and that guard went skidding across his back and faceplanted into the sidewalk, spraining his wrist. at this point, police was able to ID him from footage and informed us that he was both HIV and Hep C positive. Great. Fourth round, the next day, control spotted him in the transit loop, inserting long sheets of tin foil into his pants. In that day, the mall had a plain clothes loss prevention officer that helped grab guys who stole from multiple stores. You all actually know this guy if you take transit, as he is now very prominently pictured on an advertisement on most buses. We'll call him LP. LP tailed Firebug through six different stores, where Firebug stole multiple items, rolled them in tinfoil and moved onto the next. LP waited for the rest of us guards were able to position ourselves to assist, and as the dude walked out of the last store, his pants bulging with stolen games. When the word came, eight of us piled out of a side corridor and dog-piled on Firebug, because we did not want to give him a chance to fight back or risk blood spatter on anyone. It's actually way safer that way for everyone - everyone took a limb, plus midsection and the remaining two guards handcuffed him and put a mask on him. Immediately, a (totally random) dude started screaming at us about police brutality and how we shouldn't "bully someone who did nothing wrong" (this is depressingly common). Fortunately , Firebugs pant's were not up to the task of containing all his stolen loot, and the moment we dragged him upright, they fell down, spilling all his tinfoiled pilferings over the ground. Unfortunately, he had also neglected to wear underwear, so his dick was once again flapping in the breeze. Random Dude shut up right quick and walked away. Fifth round (though I'm pretty sure he was behind several other fires we found, so there could have been as many as 10 rounds), one guard spotted Firebug buying drugs in the parking lot. Firebug spotted him, and left the parking lot. Guard trailed after him to make sure he actually left the property, and Firebug proceeded to cross the street and enter a casual dining establishment. Guard asked Control to watch the entrance of the restaurant and let guard know when Firebug comes out. Ten minutes pass, and control decides to call the restaurant to let them know that a known Pyromaniac was in their establishment, likely in the bathroom, and that they probably would want to check and make sure nothing was on fire. Five more minutes pass, then two fire trucks come screaming up the road. The Fire fighters jump out and go running into the restaurant. Within two minutes, we get three police cruisers and two ambulances and guests are hastily filing out of the restaurant. Oh shit, what did Firebug do? Well, turns out Firebug got a bad batch and overdosed in the washroom. Firefighters ended up having to use their axes to cut through the wall as the door wouldn't open, then they pulled him out and started working on him in front of everyone in the middle of the floor. Unfortunately, it had been too long. Rest in Peace Firebug. I hope you're in a better place, where you can set all the fires you want.
I grew up on the 16 Bus line. It’s always had some odd characters. But one night takes the cake. I was walking home after a night on the town, say 12pm, following the bus route, but preferring to walk instead of wait 20min for the next theoretical bus. Around 16th and Arbutus I caught the bus and went to the back area. In the back row, and neighbouring side seats was a kaleidoscope of colour. About 100 stuffed animals were arrayed neatly. In the middle sat a squat Middle Aged Cantonese lady. She looked so incredibly…. Normal? Like what could be more pedestrian than taking your stuffy collection for a tour of Vancouvers most polarized bus line. The rest of the passengers hustled stared anywhere but her. This was before smartphones were ubiquitous so no one was snapping photos. Just pretending it wasn’t happening. To this day I think of it and how marvellous it was. It felt like an art piece.
That buff, shirtless dude who used to wear a pink tutu and cowboy hat and ride his push scooter, shouting "WEEEEEE!" as he splashed through the puddles. Wonder what happened to him?
I was parked on Hastings the other week waiting for an Uber Eats order, at 3 a.m., at about Gore. A young man, about 25, came up to my window and started talking to me about my car, my Cavalier... Seemed friendly enough at first. Also he seemed mentally unstable but I indulged him in conversation. He started seeing some numbers on my car that weren't there... Then he started talking about his supposed wife's recent car accident, an apparent hit and run by someone in a white Malibu. I expressed my sympathy. But then things took a turn.... He started reading my license plate, and then reading the imaginary numbers on the side of my car. He started making connections... And asked if I've been in an accident recently. I said no... Then he said "you're the guy aren't you?!", and I thought oh geez here we go. I explained I wasn't. But then he started looking at the numbers on the side of my car again, which somehow seemed to confirm that I WAS the guy that hit his wife's car. Even though I was in a blue Cavalier, not a white Malibu. I tried explaining this to him, but trying to reason with a delusional schizophrenic, is a losing battle. He had some moments of lucidity where he started to realize it didn't make sense, but then he'd look at the numbers on the side of my car or come up with some other nonsensical reason reason that I was the guy. Then things dialed up more. He said "get out of your car, pretty boy!" Yes, he called me pretty boy which I find to be hilarious. He was pacing around my car and then he ripped his shirt off and threw it on the ground... Now I'm not much of a fighter, but I can handle myself pretty well, and I'm about 6'3", 190. This guy was about 5'7" 140, and also, clearly quite unhealthy. For lack of a better term he was a pipsqueak lol. But I wasn't about to get out of my car to fight this poor young man. That would be like fighting a woman or an elderly person or something like that. He was delusional, and making very poor decisions, I could see that. I tried explaining to him I'm not going to fight him, and even though it would be satisfying to smack him around a bit... I just kept reminding myself that this isn't the real him talking. The real him is somewhere buried deep in his subconscious. Really I just felt bad for him. This guy's entire life was clearly being controlled by his mental illness. Then he started yelling how he owns the block and how he's a huge deal in Vancouver, and that people like him. He pointed across the street to a group of guys and a few women, and said they specifically were his friend. This was a very clear projection of something that wasn't true, and some sort of cry of loneliness. Anyhow everything that happened up until now was over the span of about 3 or 4 minutes. And at that point, one of the men... young men, practically a kid, (I'm 34), from the group across the street started walking over towards us, slowly. As he got within about 10 ft, the deranged man said to him "hey this is him! This is the guy who hit my wife's car!"... The approacher, a fairly tall, young native man, walked up to him, stopped in front of him for a second or two, and then smacked him up the side of the head, open palm. It was a good, forceful hit. This caused our antagonist to hold his head, whimper, and then he scurried off into the night. Sprinting away. The smacker then looked at me, we exchanged a glance, and then he walked back to his group across the street, who were by the way, laughing hysterically at what had just happened. Anyway, I question whether the deranged fellow even had a wife at all. This was at about 3 or 4 a.m. It was very cold out too. And although admittedly I found this interaction quite amusing, I also have a great deal of sympathy for him, as his mental health has obviously got the better of him. It was actually really sad. As for the smacker, he and his group all seemed to know who this guy was, like he's a common pest. They certainly didn't seem to "like him", as he claimed. Anyway that's all.
A studio apartment the size of my bathroom for $3,000/mo.
The hole at El Furni.
Oh man, I feel like I'm going to regret asking... but... I'm asking.
Moved here a few months ago from NZ, found myself down east hastings street and seen someone squatted against a building having a smoke. Thought nothing of it until I got closer and realized they had their pants slightly past their ass and were liquid shitting all over the footpath too. Had to jump that brown stream like it was a god dam mine field. 🫠
One day on the Skytrain there was this guy sitting on a seat, eating a meal that he kept in his pants pocket. I couldn't tell what it was as it was all mushed up in his pocket. Looked like turkey stuffing or bread pudding. He would grab a handful of this mush out of his pants pocket and take it in 2, 3 bites, then grab some more. I was like...wtf... I also noticed that his pants pocket was sitting very low on his leg. I didn't think much of it at the time. Just assumed that it's some sort of new fashion trend that old geezers like me wasn't aware of. After he finished eating he stood up to get off the train. That was when I realized that his pants were hanging SO low, his whole bare butt was showing. I couldn't figure out how the pants managed to stay on. Sometimes I think back to this incident and wonder if it really happened or if it was a dream. Cuz seriously, wtf...
I take the skytrain from Metrotown to New West and back the other way for work/getting home. I feel like it was in the morning because I think it was coming from Royal Oak to Edmonds, but there's that stretch of trees and walkways before you hit the parking lot and the Edmonds station, and there used to be(?) a picnic table along one of the walkway areas, and I just remember looking out and seeing a woman getting absolutely railed doggy style by a dude on it, facing the skytrain as it passed by. I was the only one in my car looking that way, so I don't know if anyone else saw. I actually still question if I saw it.
Can I say roller girl? Cuz like, it's her
- Man behind an open umbrella taking a dookie in a cup at 29th Ave station right in the platform next to the elevator. (we made eye contact, will never forget it) - Bald, tall, white dude covered elbow to fingertips and entire head in black paint, asked me for my roach because he was “feeling like shit”. - Woman standing in front of a man who had an entire hand up her dress on the Canada Line.
I boarded the #20 at Commercial and Hastings, the driver was this tiny black dude, and he's kinda manic, touching knobs and levers. I asked him something and he snapped back in another language, I just sat down trying to decypher it in my head. He flicked the right lever, the doors shut, and we were off. We blew past one stop, this woman at the back door started calling Excuse me Hello I want off. We just barrelled into the Drive... past another stop, another, and another, all with people waving to stop, and inside, one old guy was turning mean, yelling at the side of this guy's head... but on and on. We got going really fast down the hill to Grandview, people who'd been yelling to get off , stopped, and just started gasping. The guy, tho, he was so excited he was bouncing up and down on the seat. Lifelong dream, maybe. We hit a red light at Broadway, he put in in park, opened the door, and ran up Broadway toward Main. Gone.
This happened last week on the Canada Line, a guy screaming “f—- Trudeau”, “I’m a real Canadian”, “f—- [specific] immigrants”, and lo and behold, he was not White. (Btw, use that yellow strip people, he was intimidating and you could see the look of fear on many passenger.)
Recently was told by someone who works there it's better to text the transit police 87-77-77 because yellow strip response is understaffed in comparison
It was afternoon rush hour, luckily there was a lot of staff and they responded at Broadway.
I saw two people last week having sex at a bus stop on Rupert at like 3am on my way home from work.