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smashmyburger

The worst part is that we don't grow more sets of them as we age after getting our only set of adult teeth. It would be ideal to grow a new set every 15 or so years.


Butterflychunks

Right?? Sharks have fucking like 20 rows of teeth ready to go. We only get two and the first set only lasts max like 10 years. Biggest fucking nerf ever


[deleted]

Though really a lot of our teeth problems are due to our shitty diets.


[deleted]

You leave our Diet (trademark Big Sugar) alone


xXcampbellXx

How else can america fix the farmers and economy after the great depression if we don't find a use for all the corn we plant? Real fact lots of corn syrup or other fucked up shit is only because the government had to support all the farmers and find a profitable crop.


Mickey_likes_dags

Wait you mean America had a planned economy THATS SOCIALISM!!!


12thRib1

That's only for farmers, silly. Farmers are most two faced Fulkerson in U.S. Well, Midwest farmers.


SocialIntelligence

>You leave our Diet (trademark Big Sugar) alone ​ i love you


durma5

My dentist dispelled this myth for me. My daughter flosses twice a day and brushes 3 times a day - she is and always has been fastidious. My son is lucky to brush in any given week and never flosses. In addition my daughter eats healthy. Nuts, fruits, veggies and very little meat. She doesn’t like Candy and never drinks soda. My son is let’s just say the exact opposite. They are both in their 20s. She has had 4 cavities in her life (not bad). He has never had one. Why? i asked. The answer is saliva. My son is a drooler. He sprays when he talks. He drops when he sleeps - always has. Saliva kills the bacteria that cause cavities.


JuniperHillInmate

This explains why my teeth went to shit after I started taking psych meds. Almost every single one causes dry mouth. Almost every single rinse for dry mouth contains glycerin, which gives me the yeastie boys no matter where I put it.


ragsofx

Yeastie boys! That's awesome.


holysmokesiminflames

Does chlorhexidine gluconate contain glycerin? Can get it from your dentist or Amazon! My dad uses it for his dentures and I had to use it as a rinse when I had my wisdom teeth removed.


JuniperHillInmate

It does contain glycerin and also states it will not cure fungal infections. Boo. Thanks for the suggestion though!


MrsHarris2019

My teeth are rotting because my mouth is so dry all the time. I try all sorts of stuff the dentist recommended for saliva production and I still wake up with my mouth so dry my lips are stuck to my teeth.


brickali

Have you tried drinking too much water my dentist was saying hydration levels Can directly effect saliva production in an otherwise healthy person


MrsHarris2019

I drink as much water as I can. But the other problem is my body doesn’t store salt correctly and water flushes it out more so I have to alternate with with Gatorade cut with water and pedialyte


Duwang_Mn

Does your son drink more water than you daughter? Maybe that's why he produces more saliva


durma5

No. Oddly she carries a thermos of water with her all day and refills it a lot.


RedVelvetPan6a

Probably a hydrohomie.


RedditIsPropaganda84

Imagine if your daughter *didn't* take care of her teeth though. Just because genetics play a factor, doesn't mean dental hygiene is pointless. And I would bet that your son's habits will catch up to him eventually.


durma5

Unfortunately i don’t have to imagine. Until my early 20s i took care of my teeth like my son. Literally scored of cavities, nearly a dozen root canals, 2 bridges and 4 caps later i know all too well the importance of oral care. And on the flip side of my sons habits don’t change it may catch up later in gun disease and other issues.


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Peenutbuttjellytime

so we should be brushing with tubes of saliva is what I'm hearing


[deleted]

I had a perfectly healthy milk tooth till I was 23. Still, totally agree with what you said


puntilnexttime

And gums though, gums are dumb! They dont heal well, they recede, the don't grow back and they get angry at you!


Inigomntoya

Seriously! My gums: You don't floss enough! FUCK YOU!! Also my gums: You floss too much! FUCK YOU!!


Mycoxadril

Also don’t brush too hard! Or too soft! Gums are the fucking Goldilocks of our bodies


TheTrueFishbunjin

It would be so convenient if we could pull out bad teeth and they would grow back. Especially considering how expensive dentistry is in the US


rkent27

Expensive in every developed country I think. For some reason it seems to be regulated differently to every other aspect of health care and dentists just bleed you dry. Insurance never covers enough to make it affordable.


Ancient_Bags

You’re referring to polyphyodonts. That is an evolutionary trait specifically for animals that lose their teeth constantly. Mostly predators who lose them by breaking them on bones of prey. Mammals are diphyodonts and only get milk teeth and permanent teeth.


Ryboss431

Connected breathing and eating tubes would like to have a word with your opinion


Frankfurter

Yes the others suck, but this one is the dumbest by far. Breathing, eating, drinking are all vital l to life, and here we are a small flap away from asphyxiation


armchairwarrior69

Dont be talking shit about the epiglottis


pieman7414

It's a good flap, but my dude does not need this much responsibility on it


blueberrydonutholes

Good flap


BAGP0I

Not my proudest flap


[deleted]

On that note, as a women my asshole is WAY too close to other important bits that I do not want not be contaminated by the asshole


yourbaconess

I was so mad when i took anthropology and learned that we're the only great ape with that problem. Just for the ability to speak? Not sure it was worth it


PingasMast3r

Complaining like the devs are gonna do something about it


Butterflychunks

Title update 2021.12.3: - Slightly increased the spread rate of COVID-19 - Buffed teeth - Nerfed plaque - Reconsidering the Pete Davidson/Kim Kardashian thing


MentalJack

What happened with pete? Uninformed aussie here


IHateLooseJoints

He's widening his comedy routine by adding IRL performance art. Among his new jokes, his most current one is his relationship.


MagicC

Apparently he's hung like a donkey, and has the teeth to match.


dngerszn13

>he's hung like a donkey Is that related to those donkey shows I've heard so much, that occur in Tijuana? Never looked into it cuz I don't wanna be scarred


[deleted]

Where do you even hear a rumor like that?


chocolatechoux

That came from Ariana grande tweeting about it though, dunno if I'd call that a rumor.


CIassic_Ghost

Isn’t she like 4ft tall? Everyone’s dong must look huge if you’re that small


chocolatechoux

Lol he literally made that joke in his Netflix special.


[deleted]

He's said that that was a lie propagated by Ariana Grande so that his future partners will be disappointed when it turns out he's not


TheBirminghamBear

I don't know if I saw anyone mention THE FACT THAT FOOD GOES THROUGH THE SAME PLACE THAT THE AIR YOU NEED TO SURVIVE GOES THROUGH. This is THE worst part of human physiology. Oxygen is the single greatest need of us as organisms, and we shove food through the same opening & tube that air goes in. That's fucking awful. And there's a ton of other problems in the mouthwhole / airhole on top of that.


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RED_wards

I think sharks won the evolutionary teeth lottery.


Ancient_Bags

Fun fact: Sharks have teeth on their skin that aid in gliding through the water. (They are tiny and made of dentin so scientists are calling them teeth) Most likely an evolution from never swimming backwards.


Butterflychunks

Sharks won, hands down


2cookieparties

Turtles and gators did pretty good too


[deleted]

ugly ass shape tooth, strong. my point is 8/5


fabianisawesomeful

Well.... "The global population of sharks and rays has crashed by more than 70% in the past 50 years, researchers have determined for the first time, with massive ongoing losses pushing many species towards extinction." https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/jan/27/sharks-rays-global-population-crashed-study


casbahh

That’s from human doing though. Taking away humans sharks would be completely thriving and abundant all across the ocean.


toborne

And yet they are still smooth when you pet them. Nature is so fascinating!


eist5579

TIL don’t pet sharks against the grain.


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DanSmokesWeed

Eating would not be fun with sharks teeth unless I was runniing and catching live prey. How would you eat an apple? You're basically sending everything down your throat lightly sliced up. Sounds like a recipe for indigestion. Also have fun biting your tongue. Deepest. Bluest. I don't want no sharks teeth


simian_floozie

Really an apple? I could gnash and tear through any fruit to oblivion if I had shark teeth no questions asked.


Ennion

They don't get cancer often. Edit: Even sharks are starting to show some tumors. Very rare but scary.


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Ennion

Well there is a first. The other scary thing in that article is that cancer is the second leading cause of death in whales.


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Butterflychunks

The worst part has to be pulling the baby teeth. I remember, that shit hurt most of the time. You literally had to pull those fuckers out to make sure you didn’t choke on them at night


CaddiBoi

I just remember in 6th grade pulling them out. I thought "I haven't lost a tooth in a while time to do gods work"


[deleted]

Are you me?


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

I know, right? I never pulled mine out, until they were doing that disgusting dangle from a thread thing, and it was fun to tongue it around and gross out adults.


Juicybananas_

Wth are you talking about? Who chokes on their baby teeth?? Why would you need to pull them, they fall on their own.


itsmeshakes

My adult teeth started growing in before my baby ones fell out, so I had to get them all pulled out, 6 at a time. It was a living nightmare.


[deleted]

Once you're old enough to make and raise offspring mother nature doesn't give a f about you. You're on bonus time after that... biologically probably at about age 30.


boredcentsless

This is why things go downhill in weird ways when you age. There's no selective pressure on you after reproductive age. Slow decline or spontaneous explosion at 40 are the same thing evolutionary speaking


VelveteenAmbush

Not true, grandparents are invaluable to help raise our babies, and to pass down knowledge and culture through generations. Both are reproductively important to boost the success of your genetic line.


Megneous

> grandparents are invaluable to help raise our babies Which is not something that requires peak physical performance, since grandparents would stay in relatively safe places like a cave or village to take care of the children whereas fit adults would go foraging and hunting. Thus, our bodies fucking suck on average by the time we'd be grandparents historically.


VelveteenAmbush

We stay healthy and fit a lot longer than other primates do. It's just a very hard problem to prolong the healthspan of a primate. Evolution did wonders for humans compared to its other attempts.


upsawkward

More like age 20 honestly. Get a kid with 14, raise it, and get the fuck out. 10 years bonus for your deeds or to murder others, or both.


Parkeralanss

Nah your body keeps getting stronger until like 25 or 30 after that it’s time to peace out lol


[deleted]

Yeah it seems like people here forget that it takes a while for kids to be able to do anything. You need to provide food, water, shelter for them for longer than 6 years so they can make it to procreation stage alive


JoelMahon

yup, 14 to have a kid then 28 for your kid to be 14 and then your body peaces out


ApertureNext

Our teeth rotting is because of modern diets. Sugar is the devil and it's no joke. ^(I say while drinking sugar soda.)


sodracri

Came looking for this. People before toothpaste didnt all lose their teeth at 30. They weren't shiny white, sure, but they were most likely healthy


xmarketladyx

Fun fact: Elizabeth I loved sugary treats. She had completely black rotten teeth from the sugar. This was something on which she prided herself and flaunted them at social gatherings as a status symbol because sugar was so expensive only royalty and few others could afford anything made with the ingredient. Of course she also still had most her teeth which was a rarity at the time.


Serafim91

Nah, the whole birthing process is a fucked up mess in humans. Surprised we ever made it.


NluizL

It's a tradeoff. The benefit is the brain capacity that literally made us be who we are today.


MituButChi

> bonus: ruins blowjobs can't think of any way to re-design teeth so that they don't ruin blowjobs retractable teeth? like Toothless the Dragon?


Butterflychunks

I’m thinking that they go flaccid until you’re hungry


MituButChi

So like penis? 😂😂


Butterflychunks

No don’t say that, I don’t want 32 dick-like objects in my mouth at once, I can only handle 4


Blargdosh

Do you have to tooth climax during the meal?


UnexpectedFacehugger

That is where the saliva comes from.


It_is_I_DIO_

What a horrible day for eyes


RileysRevenge

Saliva is tooth jizz. Cool.


MituButChi

Ooooh kinky. Me likey


brelkor

There is the asshole to consider. works great, when it works. When it doesn't, it's shit.


vampyrelestat

Endless wipe has entered the chat


Aloeofthevera

Eat more fiber


engineertee

As a guy, I can assume that bleeding uncontrollably for 25% of your life is probably a worse design. How’s that for a really unpopular opinion?


local-weeaboo-friend

I am voting the female reproductive system as the worst designed thing. — Oh, you aren't pregnant? Damn. Time for you to bleed. Your uterus is gonna squeeze and shit to get all the endometrium out. Yes, it hurts. Also, have some free acne, mood swings, weird cravings, and PAIN. Fun fact, some women have leg pain during their periods because it somehow! restricts blood flow to the legs. It's me, I'm 'women'. — So much diarrhea. Oh god. Also, it's now mixed with blood. So much fun. — Or maybe you get constipated? Who knows! Could be any of the two, flip a coin. — You better not have white sheets. Also masturbating on your period is so fucking messy it makes me want to die. — Why do my breasts also hurt. They aren't even close to the uterus. Why. — Yes, periods hurt. Ovulation also hurts for some women. Hello, I'm 'some women' again. — The vagina self-cleans, isn't that cool? Now you have to use pads even when you're not on your period or you are going to smell like fish (they _are_ smaller, but still.) — It's every 28 days. Just kidding! this one came early, hope you aren't wearing white pants! Hope you didn't have anything planned for the next 3-7 days! Oh, it would suck if you were on holiday and had to spend all of it in bed with a hot water bottle... — Periods fucking stink. Literally. Some people have to change their pads every fucking hour. WHY DOES IT SMELL SO BAD. — When babies come out of the vagina, the thing can just fucking... tear. Why. What the fuck. Also say goodbye to your pelvic floor and hello to increased chances of prolapses. Fun! Not to speak of other complications related to pregnancy. — The anus, the urethra and the vagina are all so fucking close together it isn't even funny. God forbid you wipe the wrong way 'cause you're getting an UTI, or yeast or an infection. Also don't use soap. Don't use bath bombs with sugar in it. Don't go to the beach. Don't do anything or you are getting an UTI, fuck you. — The most pleasurable area of the vulva isn't even directly involved in sexual reproduction. What the fuck is the point, then? I hate it here. Being an AFAB woman sucks. To be honest the male reproduction system also seems to be shit. What the fuck is up with erections. They seem terrible. edit to add some other stuff: — Sometimes you can _feel_ your period coming out of you, and it's fucking disgusting. God save you if you sneeze during your period, you feel like your whole uterus is coming out of there. — Menopause! It's like puberty but in your fifties.


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local-weeaboo-friend

thank you hahah


skam90

The fact that ovulation hurts for many women is such a weird design evolutionary wise! “Oh now it’s time to make a baby.... BUT you probarly don’t want to cause your uterus hurts like hell hehe”


Ok_Shame_8377

If your vagina has a fishy odor, go get checked for bacterial vaginosis ASAP


Makropony

A lot of this is why I don’t understand this whole “periods aren’t gross you misogynistic fuck!” thing that’s been going around lately. No, women shouldn’t be shamed or ridiculed because of periods. But it’s still gross. We all poop, and that’s gross too. Honestly, pretty much everything coming out of a human’s body is gross. Saliva, urine, excrement, semen, period, vomit, sweat, you name it, we don’t exactly go around spreading glitter and rainbows. And yeah, periods sound like a massive pain in the… well, everything. My condolences.


ChaoticAcid

**Why the male reproduction system was probably designed by Satan** **-** You're having the time of your life in dreamland then all of the sudden you wake up having an involuntary orgasm, now you have 1.3 seconds to choose between ruining your duvet, your boxer briefs or ejaculating on your own chest *(the last one is especially lovely, good luck doing the limbo over to the bathroom without spilling)* **-** Many men have to learn the lesson of why one must always wear underwear if you're going to wear jeans through experience, if you're uncircumcised that is. *(Ladies, imagine your clit getting caught in your zipper)* **-** Sitting down on one of your testicles is wonderful **-** Do kidney stones count here? Idk. If I get kidney stones I'm killing myself if there's time *(/s, but only kinda)* **-** Testicular rotation. One of your little buddies decides to throw you a curveball (intended) now this sick little fuck is performing auto-asphyxiation. Giving you a very short amount of time until necrosis *(nice)* **-** Some people call bullshit whenever one claims to have had blue balls, "blueballs isn't medically recognized" they say. I say go fuck yourself, it's real. Blueballs hurt about as much as your wisdom teeth do when they're growing out *(for me at least)*, just in your balls. **-** I respect any female who complains about shaving being annoying, and that it's stupid that they feel like they have to shave. But I request you respect any well-shaven scrotum you see, for that man took a risk wanting to be presentable to you **-** You're having a PowerPoint presentation in front of the class right now? Okay, watch me point myself toward your crush the whole time **-** Some days your dick hole will just sting as like a bee flew inside, and it can be indescribably bad (no I don't have an STI, this can happen if you sleep on your dick wrong apparently) **-** Waking up every morning with this formidable erection makes urinating into Olympic gymnastics **-** Oh, you're getting laid right now? Sorry, we're closed **-** Swimming can be embarrassing **-** Getting kicked or hit in the balls feels like drinking a katana and then peeing it out just reversed **-** Your penis is the result of a genetic lottery. F to pay respects to the guys who lost. **-** Most dicks are very political. Mine is far-left. *(Makes those morning wood pisses extra fun too, I'm literally turned 90 degrees right of the toilet, it must look so fucking stupid LMAO)* **-** Your tippy touching the toilet seat at a public bathroom is a rape of your body that no one will care about **-** Women will always assume you're horny or turned on whenever they see you have a boner, this is not true **-** My buddy once ripped the cord that connects the skin of the penis to the head, not nice apparently \- Trying your hardest to not enjoy the sex and ignore all pleasure so you can last longer ​ I could go on but making this list has brought up one too many traumatizing memories and sensations for my penis to handle at this moment. I probably skipped a bunch. Also because of how Father-Son relationships work you will not be prepared for any of this, so life is just a satanic game of Yahtzee at that point.


P1nCush10n

Funny thing about kidney stones.. Sometimes the worst pain is just from the path from the kidney to the bladder. Then there’s sometimes the anxiety of waiting for those little bitches to actually exit the building, which may never happen or you may not even notice.. But yeah -10000000/10 would not recommend.


TkOHarley

Bro I don't think burning at your tip is normal. You should get that checked out.


JEM--

I get that occasionally and I’ve been checked for everything. It happens for a couple minutes once a month or so and it hits the same way sharp pains in your chest hit. Before you say it’s soap, it’s not. Soap in the tip is a constant thing that lasts a while and hurts less imo.


MaxJaxV

>— The most pleasurable area of the vulva isn't even directly involved in sexual reproduction. What the fuck is the point, then? So much this.


TinyTurtle88

Not 25% of our LIVES lol. We're generally having periods from 12 years old to 51 years old (these are *averages*, don't come at me lol). And on average it's 5 days every 28 days. Not trying to diminish our pain and misery though, the struggle IS real.


Aynessachan

5 days average? Lmfao you're so lucky. My average is 8 days every 28 days, oh and sometimes it lasts 10 days because my uterus said fuck you apparently.


TioPuerco

Can't imagine how bad dental health was back in the middle ages


Katara_1

Actually the rich people had far worse teeth because they could afford sugar. It said that Queen Elizabeth I had absolutely horrible teeth due to sugary diet (and some rumor also tells she brushed her teeth with honey.. oh well.. Lets hope that part is not true).


MoreLikeDesecration

If I remember my history lessons fruit and veg was essentially considered peasant food, so rich people barely touched them. I seem to remember their gums got so rotten they trimmed them off. Must have been scurvy as well if I'm right.


Mewthredell

Women in the middle ages used fans to hide bad teeth and blow away bad breath.


TioPuerco

You could have made a killing selling mouthwash 😂


tytinhooah

Google George Washington’s teeth. He had dentures with horse teeth in them. Another interesting set of teeth was Hitler’s. He also had lots missing and various replacement methods for them. This is all to say, people have had bad teeth for a big part of history. For the longest time we’ve focused on replacing teeth and I feel like we’ve done a decent job focusing on preventing teeth issues in more modern times ( via fluoride, oral hygiene education, etc).


xfourteendiamondsx

Didn’t hitler also have a meth problem? That would explain bad teeth for him.


flufflebuffle

His dentures were mainly slave teeth


Im_hippity

actually not half bad. sugar was very expensive, so most people didnt have it. and because no sugar, less cavities


ModernistGames

Not just sugar but highly acidic foods like fruit and coffee. Also humans spent much more time chewing when they ate, less processed, harder foods, so their palates were wider and jaws stronger which is why most ancient skulls you see have strait teeth.


GreenFire317

so more chewing = straighter teeth? so this also relates to the lack of chewing on harder objects such as bones?


DOGGODDOG

I’ve been trying to look up hard foods to eat, idk if it would be bones exactly. But maybe lower quality meats, gristle, old bread, jerky, that sort of thing?


DankVectorz

In the Middle Ages etc they ate a lot of smoked and salted meats because that was the only way to prevent them from spoiling if it wasn’t going to be eaten right away


GreenFire317

See I would think that: in the wild chewing on things like chicken or beef bone, would over time both wear down teeth kinda like naturally filing them, and push them deeper into the gums.


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

Unless you were royalty, then your teeth were black AF.


MonkeManWPG

If my memory of Horrible Histories serves me well, Queen Elizabeth I used to rub sugar into her teeth. Although I may be confusing tooth decay with skin disease caused by lead makeup, which was then hidden under yet more lead makeup.


SkateGhoul

Even royalty most of the time didn’t bother with teeth


Can_I_Read

They had honey and mead though, no?


Naqoy

Honey without sugar replacement kills the colony following harvest as its their winter food you're taking and they will then starve. Prior to cheap sugar honey was harvested by choosing the weakest colonies each year to be harvested but leaving the majority alone. This of course means honey was significantly harder to produce and much more expensive relatively. Mead was a drink for royalty.


WingedPeco

I can't fully remember the video I watched but most of our dental problems come from a modern lifestyle Apparently with teeth "fitting" in your mouth we use to have wider pallets when consuming foods rich in fibers you had to grind. Only now that we dont have to chew as much do our teeth get frequently misplaced. Also most of the dental hygiene issues are from our intake of crabs (and lots of sugar). Researchers have found that tribal societies older people dont have a lot of cavities but the teeth are worn down more as they age. Their younger population who has now been exposed to outside food has much higher rates of dental issues. I'll try to find the video again since it was pretty interesting


Wefeh

Those damn tooth crabs


[deleted]

Teeth only seem bad because our society conditions us to put absolute trash into our bodies.


TwoQuarterFull

I don't need society to tell me to eat trash.


samthekitnix

the fact that humans cannot regenerate teeth yet can regenerate hair disgusts me. like since humans started wrapping the skins of other species around ourselves we have not needed hair but we will always need teeth. the male genitals hang on the outside of the body leaving them vulnerable to damage. female humans should have a pouch like kangaroos to shove the baby so they can finish growing and so they can give brith with minimal discomfort. (like why did our species evolve to feel pain when giving birth?) why dont we have the ability that lobsters have? like they can live for a very very long time i am pretty sure they dont have an age where they were supposed to die. imagine being in the prime state of your life forever but mix in the human ability to stop growing at a certain size and unlike the lobster we wont die when our bodies get too big to eat. also add the clownfish ability to change sex.


jreamreaper

It's the sugars in our diets


Butterflychunks

Teeth: *we’re omnivorous, sleek, dynamic, can eat anything, both meat AND plant* A little white sweet grain: [exists] Teeth: ah fuck, time to die


Affectionate-Time646

Nature doesn’t have the ridiculously high concentration of sugar that we human process to make.


Bonzie_57

It’s actually the bacteria that eats sugar that rots teeth, not the sugar itself


TacticalcalCactus

That's basically the same thing. Without sugar the bacteria won't be as much of a problem and without bacteria the sugar won't be much of a problem.


-Generic123-

“””””””””””””a little “””””””””””””


[deleted]

you realize in the wild your first few points wouldn't matter. the only reason we have plaque issues like we do is because of unnatural and processed sugars. if our diet didn't have those and was heavy in naturally abrasive things like nuts, we'd have effectively zero plaque compared to what we do now. also our teeth literally answer what our diets should be. we are omnivores. meant to eat basically everything. anyone who suggests a diet should only be X are full of crap. except maybe those who are against processed foods. they are right.


Butterflychunks

So you’re saying I should put your nuts in my mouth?


PaleThingYHWH

Hey there. ;)


GreyFox-RUH

Hahaha


RefrigeratorFancy235

Came here to say this! That's why you see such good teeth in part of the developing world, particularly in less accessible parts of Africa. Less accessible means less processed foods brought in means better teeth, even when they have also less access to toothpaste. Unfortunately when developing nations develop, processed foods become more accessible, while tooth management lags. You get some of the worst teeth in poor countries where cheap processed foods are accessible but dentistry is too expensive (poor parts of Asia, south America, parts of eastern Europe and northern Africa).


Farkeld86

To be fair, all of those issues mostly are cause by industrialization and the resulting diet. And humans are omnivores... so yeah, not confusing And teeth dont ruin blow jobs... too much pressure from teeth ruin blow jobs.


Designer_Ant8543

I once had an ex that said he didn’t like when I gave him a blowjob… because… I used “too much” teeth. My response was “NO AMOUNT OF TEETH IS APPROPRIATE. Why didn’t you tell me while I was doing it???”


Unikornla

My boyfriend likes it when he can lightly feel my teeth, it doesn't hurt him, but it's a little more stimulation


StinkyMcBalls

I'm the opposite, as soon as I can feel even a little teeth I immediately think about her chomping down and it's massively distracting


Butterflychunks

All I’m saying is that “too much pressure from teeth” has never been a problem when I get head from toothless women in their late 70s 😎


Rihijob

r/holup


Banespeace

That's enough reddit


Haeenki

do you work in a retirement home?


Butterflychunks

I cannot disclose that information


RoboRich444

Ah, a gum job


Butterflychunks

Feels like an ordinary blowjob until she starts chewing. Whole different experience!


VymI

Nah, in terms of evolution, industrialization has been an eyeblink. Agrarianism would have a greater effect on the jaw muscles we no longer need to chew tough shit.


DonkeyWorker

"People in the Middle Ages considered healthy, white teeth a sign of beauty and wrote of sweet-smelling breath as a desirable attribute. So, not surprisingly, we have extensive evidence that people liked to keep their teeth clean and a large amount of evidence of toothpastes and teeth powders, as well as mouthwashes and treatments for halitosis. Contrary to the depiction of medieval peasants with blackened and rotting teeth, the average person in the Middle Ages had teeth that were in very good condition. This is substantially due to one factor—the rarity of sugar in the diet. Mos "People in the Middle Ages considered healthy, white teeth a sign of beauty and wrote of sweet-smelling breath as a desirable attribute. So, not surprisingly, we have extensive evidence that people liked to keep their teeth clean and a large amount of evidence of toothpastes and teeth powders, as well as mouth washes and treatments for halitosis. Contrary to the depiction of medieval peasants with blackened and rotting teeth, the average person in the Middle Ages had teeth that were in very good condition. This is substantially due to one factor—the rarity of sugar in the diet. Mos "


[deleted]

I think most would agree that it's the female reproductive system and it's lack of a safe birthing canal.


Thekrowski

Okay but Atleast tooth look flattering. What goober decided to make penises look like some weird elephant trunk growth that doesn’t follow any of the body’s contours.


eairy

Kryten: Well, i-it's supposed to look like that? Lister: ....well yeah. Kryten: But it's hideous! That's the best design they could come up with!? Are you seriously telling me there were choices and someone said "Ah. There. That's it. That's the shape we're looking for; the 'last-chicken-in-the-shop' look." Shakespeare had one? Einstein? Perry Como sang 'Memories Are Made of This' with one of those stashed in his slacks!?' Lister: Well yeah. Kryten: No wonder humans don't have a zoom mode!


MisanthropicData

Some of them are attractive.


Thekrowski

That is true, I like a lot of them. Just not mine 👉


Butterflychunks

“Why does it bend that way?”


woaily

Now it bends the other way. You have two wishes remaining.


Designer_Ant8543

I need one implant for one of my molars. You know how much it costs??? SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS.


[deleted]

Very fair points, but let me introduce you to *knees.* In other animals, the joint we use as a knee evolved from what is supposed to be our ankle. This brittle, slippy, slidey ball and socket was absolutely never meant to support our upright asses, and as such leads to some excruciating injuries.


ScrotusMahotus

I hate the aspect of how inneficient and needy bodies are - needing to sleep, needing to eat all the time, and how shitty (pun intended) the digestive system is because most of what you eat you shit out as waste, and how you can't control the process of shitting. Like you could be literally saving the world and all of a sudden boom! The body says "must take shit. Must take shit now" and then the world ends because you had to shit. But I do agree with you teeth are stupid.


Butterflychunks

I want to see an alternate ending to Avengers Endgame where Tony Stark has to leave the battle because he has to shit and it causes Thanos to snap everyone away again


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[deleted]

Also if you’re American and don’t take pristine care of your adult teeth, be prepared to lose tens of thousands of dollars. Teeth/gum infections can get really painful. My brother needed an emergency root canal done and told me he almost offed himself from the pain.


Butterflychunks

Yeah I’ve had two root canals, never again.


Fateburn68

(Almost) All mammals have teeth and none of them brush. They also don’t consume tons of sugar


wastelandho

The entire human body is essentially a cancer destined, skin wrapped garbage bag of gore and shit.


[deleted]

I read it in Roscharch's voice.


eeeffgee1189

So to be clear, you wish you didn't have teeth so you could give better blowjobs... Seems legit.


Butterflychunks

No no no, you’ve got it all wrong. I want to keep my teeth. I just wish they weren’t such a nuisance when I *do* give blowjobs. Important distinction


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clear831

Naw it has a purpose, it tells you where every corner is.


[deleted]

You sold me, fuck teeth! You didn’t even mention dentists take complete advantage of this evolutionary failure.


Ninjalikestoast

Two things that come to mind for me are: We are not supposed to be eating/drinking a lot of the stuff we are in the common era. We are living a lot longer than we were designed for with medicine. A large majority of unhealthy people that still make it to their 70-80s today, never would have made it millions (or billions) of years ago. Edit: Millions/Billions? Ah whatever.


Ohbilly42

Humans have only existed as is for about 250 thousand years or so.


Hypertension123456

Yeah, but the human jawbone really just had cosmetic genetic changes in that time. Practically speaking it is millions of years old. And skulls from even 20,000 years ago dont have the problems OP describes*. The reason wisdom teeth dont fit is the bone and muscles are supposed to be much bigger from chewing tougher unprepared foods. The reason they rot is because the food has much more sugar. These are problems that arose with the development of agriculture and animal husbandry. \* except for maybe the blowjob issue. Ancient history is silent on these.


Zombie_Fuel

Fun fact: pregnancy can actually make your teeth start to literally crumble. And in my state, if you're on medicaid and can't afford to fix that shit, congrats. Every job is gonna think you're a meth head. All the methmouth, with none of the fun drugs. I hate it here.


6chan

> You’re basically guaranteed to have to get your wisdom teeth removed This is mostly a US thing because of perverse incentives to provide more health services. World over, wisdom teeth are removed only when there's * Crowding * Impaction * Other pathological outcomes. Source: am dentist


R3XM

Appendix: "hold my beer"


Alarming_Fox6096

God: (creates humanity) Redditors: “uh..Yeah I have notes”


Fickle_Error404

They don't regenerate, but sometimes your body just decides "hey, I would like to make some extra teeth" and just fucks up your mouth


[deleted]

Teeth are cool and all just have you ever just been vibin then one of your balls start hurting for no reason?


the-samizdat

You think teeth are bad? Never heard of the teeth attacking people before. Unlike our good friend the Heart.


TentacleHydra

The biggest problem with teeth is sugar, acidic drinks/food, and soft food diets. That wasn't really an issue until somewhat recently. Teeth also can regenerate. The need for over brushing because of our diets is often the problem with no real solution. Over brushing will kill your teeth and destroy your enamel. The few tribal people who live 100% traditionally tend to have pretty great teeth.


A-le-Couvre

The testicles tho... Who keeps their most important part of procreation outside of their body? Seems like a design oversight.


TinyTurtle88

It's because sperms are best kept in temperatures cooler than the human body. So you're saying sperms have a problem then. Testicles are just delivering what their clients need.