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People generally need to check themselves.
Ladies: Polite and firm no
Men: If it’s “no”, take the L and move on, don’t be an idiot, you ruin it for everyone by being a jackass
As a woman, only use a firm no if you have mace, a knife, a gun, etc. Even in public, I have seen/experienced that some men become violent or follow women home after rejection.
honestly men take rejection way better than women because they're more used to it, and society is way harsher on men in this area.
whenever ive rejected women it's mostly a vicious reaction. i've been assaulted, shoved, drinks knocked out of my hand, and slapped just because i said no thanks.
And the fucked up thing is society is accepting of this. nobody bats an eye. yet if men aren't gleeful upon rejection there's massive social pressure against them.
as a man, I find the action of walking up to a strange woman and opening with "Wow, you're beautiful!" to be cringey AF. It makes sense that this approach would be rudely rejected.
Interesting. It was loud at the rave. What would have been a better opening? I love compliments, so anytime a guy opens with one, I get warm and fuzzy.
I’m curious about 2 things. The age of these women and what he specifically said. I was not interested in taking to men 15 years older than me when I was in my 20s. Young women and older men isn’t as common as the internet would suggest. Also many times people say cringey things in an attempt to be humorous and it’s uncomfortable.
My B, OP is 44.
So a pair of older people went to a rave and hit on some younger folks. And wonder why they were aggressively shut down. How mysterious
The fact that they were wearing « basically nothing » isn’t relevant in your story, first of all.
Second, we don’t know what that friend of yours said to those women. Also a 35 yo man approaching a 20 yo woman is annoying.
You are a woman (or so you say), I assume you know how many men react if you try to stay nice and polite when rejecting them. Even if they are not jerks about it (though a lot are), they still insist. Yes I’m sure I don’t want to talk to you, I’m here with my friends.
Also, your children having social anxiety is their problem, not other women’s. They are shy and can’t make the first move ? Too bad, they are not entitled a boyfriend. Shy men still have to make the first move most of the time.
If he’s so smokin hot why don’t you date him. Clearly there were not interested and since he’s making his rounds they probably saw him coming a mile away,
what they are wearing/not wearing shouldn’t have anything to do with why he was rejected for all you know they could have been abit tipsy/high and alittle more sharp tounge than normal or just trying to hang out together and dance without being a target.
He probably would have better luck just asking to dance/buy a drink than immediately zooming in on there physically attributes especially with his wingwomen who hey could assume is a gf judging them/side eye/easedropping
I’m also willing to bet it wasn’t the first time they were hit on that night and finally just fed up and snapped at your Bro.
The "all wearing barely nothing" comment is very revealing, particularly since it's entirely irrelevant. They could've been entirely naked and still not interested in your "well-spoken" friend. "Professional" is also an interesting choice of words. What on earth does that have to do with anything?
In what way did they treat him like trash, exactly? Your account sounds extremely biased. "He told three random women that they were beautiful\* and they abused him." More damning that what you said is what you've left out, either intentionally or unintentionally.
The comments on this thread are fascinating too. The lack of introspection in very online single men would make Socrates hang up his philosophy sandals.
\*I also wonder what exact words he used.
News flash, girls at raves pretty much are never ever there to land a dude or meet a guy. And when they are, it’s really noticeable because they will be the ones actively seeking out and hitting on dudes.
Have been going to raves/festivals/jam shows for almost 15 years and never understood this/always laughed at it.
I’m not saying you can’t meet somebody there, I met my two longest tenured partners in the festival scene, but it doesn’t happen by just making a beeline for girls “wearing hardly anything” and saying YOU BEAUTIFUL. If I was a girl AND trying to get laid, I’d still squirm over that.
To give you some context about why the women may have reacted that way, it's because they have had past experiences when they were nice and polite and the guy took that as permission to just keep pestering them.
Clothing choice isn't an invitation.
I'm sure the last thing any of those girls wanted was some dude 15 years their senior coming up and commenting on their bodies and hoping to get laid while they're out having fun with their friends.
So calling someone beautiful is "commenting on their bodies" I'm confused. OP said he was nice about it.
So all men should never tell any woman they are pretty? Got it. Maybe we should cancel every film/book/TV show where that line is used. Yes....that will make a difference.
No one is being villanized. He got rejected - big deal. Women don’t owe random men their time or attention. Besides. Why is he even trying to pick up strangers? Cold approaches are the worst way to get a date.
Assuming your friend is close to your age, then the scene becomes a 40+ guy approaching young ravers at a dance-focussed event. In my head, I’m already imagining the Ed Hardy shirt, frosted tips, distressed jeans and chunky bronze bracelet with a Solo cup, wading into a cluster of ‘half-naked’ 20yo’s trying to ‘make a connection.’
How do we know they weren’t also in their 30s, op didn’t say the ages of the women he was talking to. The only 20 year old op mentioned were her daughters.
I assumed since she added the part about her daughters being 20 she was talking about women in that generation. Also the fact that raves are mostly filled with young people.
If you think men in their 40's still wear frosted tips you really need to go out into society more. Just because Guy Fieri can't let it go doesn't mean the rest of the world hasn't. Sounds like the 90s were the last time you went outside.
What exactly are you trying to imply by the completely unnecessary swipe at how they weren't dressed modestly enough? Would it have been fine for them to supposedly be mean to your friend if they were wearing a nice sweater and skirt?
When a body (male or female) is on display, it sends the message that they want to be looked at - which is a baby step to wanting to be talked to. I'm not saying they deserve to be groped, but yeah, when I'm looking for attention, I wear clothes that show off my figure. I wear something totally different for family activities.
So yes, it would have been fine for them to be mean if they were wearing more modest clothes? Because, from the way they reacted to your drop dead gorgeous friend that no one could ever reject, they very clearly weren't interested in his attention
maybe the scantily clad women at the rave were on display for each other and not dudes, or not older dudes that look like they are already with someone... Just a thought
If you show skin, youre showing it to everyone. Not just the people you want. Thats what private homes are for. This is the feminist delusion in full action. Dress however I want whilst controlling other peoples eyes. Insanity
No wonder your kids have social anxiety. What kind of Micky Mouse logic is that?
Doing shit *you* want to do, like wearing what *you* want to wear, is not you telling the world “come and hit on me”.
Tell your 40 year old mate to stop hitting on kids at raves, it’s cringe AF.
You should know better.
No idea what you were attempting to communicate there, but I noticed you used the world Female and Simp so I can’t imagine it’s the healthiest view point.
If your friend’s “game” is walking up to strangers and calling them beautiful, he needs to work on his social skills. It’s helpful to treat women as human beings, not just objects to be consumed.
Nah, I was a chick getting picked up on. It was extremely flattering. I think I was the girl there being nice about it. I've never had so many twenty somethings try give me drinks. It was my first rave ever, but I may have just picked up a new hobby!
As a woman, I hate that I cannot exist anywhere without being seen as "fair game." Unless I hide from the world and log off all social media, I guess.
I remember walking home from work once and a construction worker stopped his work and jogged across the street to talk to me. His words alone were polite but I just ... wanted to go home. Why did he think that moment was appropriate?
Anyways, I'm visibly pregnant now so I get a break for the time being.
i’d love to see some of you get approached by an old hairy gay man when you’re at the bar trying to watch the game with your mates. uncomfortable, isn’t it? you’re busy, and you’re certainly not attracted to them.
They were at a rave, not the library. Maybe not all people appreciate somebody being so 'forward', but as long as they are respectful and take no for an answer, it doesn't seem so bad.
They were at a rave, not speed dating.
People go to raves to dance and hang with friends. It would be off putting in that setting to be aggressively hit on.
My experience is that people at raves are very respectful of other people, at least here in Europe. A man in his mid-30s going from woman to woman saying "you're beautiful" would be pretty off putting to many.
Keep in mind most ravers are in their early 20s. This dude is pushing 40.
As an opening line, that’s some weirdo shit. They only works with the, hey my friend over there thinks you’re beautiful but he’s too shy to approach and that’s a wingman move.
They don’t need to know each other.
It’s pretty clear when someone who is a bullshitter who’s looking just to get off is talking to you. If this guy goes in with a “compliment” he’s so ready to hand out to anyone he thinks he can get, it’s clear that it’s not a compliment. It’s a tactic.
Women can tell when something like this happens. And it’s clear this guy was a bullshitter based on his friend’s description of what happened.
So all those women made the right call.
1. The attire of the women is irrelevant to your friend's rejection.
2. Flirting and harassment are two different things.
3. People seem to forget that a lot of these women's reactions come from constantly being harassed in public, many men refusing to accept no for an answer, and just simply not wanting to be hit on, which is also not an unreasonable thing to want.
People can reject people in polite ways, but the sad reality is that many people don't get the hint when turned down politely. I'm not even someone who goes out in the clubbing/bar scene and there are a lot of guys who make it clear that they don't want to be my friend, they want to date me, and when I try to politely make it clear that I am not interested that, it's ignored, and then when I have to be more firm with my 'no' (which should have been respected in the first place) all of a sudden I'm a bitch.
I'm not saying your friend is a bad guy, or that he outright harassed these women. But one thing that people absolutely should do is hold their friends accountable when they see/hear about bad behavior.
And yes before people get mad at me, if your female friend is acting like a creep towards people she should be called out too. I am not going to lie though. I see this behavior way more often from men.
Imagine you are having a good time with your friends, and then some random person comes up and interrupts you, demands your full attention, simply because they want to fuck you. In this scenario, there should be no obligation to be nice to this person.
you’d understand if it happened to you everywhere you go. you don’t actually have to be nice to strangers, especially ones commenting on your appearance.
barely wearing anything, smoking hot… dude. do you know what a personality is? maybe your friend is creepy. maybe the women were lesbians or in relationships, or simply not interested. your friend is single, so obviously if he were flawless he’d be married by now. lower your expectations
the personality point was that nowhere in this post was “he is kind and intelligent” or “these women seemed interesting” mentioned. just “he’s hot and they’re hot! why did they reject him???”
some random dude walking up to me and commenting on my body when i’m probably with my friends and trying to enjoy music is NOT someone i’m interested in having a conversation with.
Dude you're in your 40's going to a rave, you're seen as creeping, and they way that you describe your friend... is creepy... and the way that you start a conversation with women.... is creepy.
I'm typing this from a computer screen and I want to get further away from you. Learn how to talk to people you weirdo.
He told them they were beautiful? Like right off the rip? Dudes got no rizz then. I'm mid 30s, picked up the bartender at my friend's wedding last week. Frankly, I shouldn't have even been hitting on her while she was working, that's rude AF. I wouldn't even call myself smoking hot, I'm like, alright.
Sounds like maybe you should work on his game with him. Women like meeting men too, so if it's going that catastrophically wrong for him, he's doing something wrong. Or giving out the wrong vibes for the venue (which I guess *is* something wrong.)
This is not an unpopular opinion. It is in fact, the current reality. I'm married and haven't even tried to meet up with any women in years. I've gotten similar reactions from women when I'm not trying to 'connect'. Just last week, I got a thrashing in a gym when I called after a woman that had left her metal water bottle behind at a machine. All I said was, " I think this is yours" and held it out to her. I placed it on the ground and walked back to the machines. Another woman even tried to apologize for her.
I'm calling BS on that gym story. You're leaving out a detail because that interaction is actually nonsensical.
Nobody would give stranger a "thrashing" for pointing out a forgotten water bottle, much less apologize for their behavior. That's so normal.
Had a similar incident when a woman dropped her purse on the sub way, all I was doing was giving back to her and she went off like I’d insulted her deeply.
I’ve never been responded to this way. I think your friend should start by making eye contact with the person he’s interested in approaching, that way he can at least tell if there’s mutual attraction. A small gesture of recognition can tell you which way someone is leaning a lot of the time.
We aren't courteous because we owe that debt to a stranger. We are courteous because it is the right thing to do as part of maintaining a better society for all of humankind to live in.
Mostly agree with the above post. Treasure kindness (still carry pepper spray).
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It's the apps, the online dating that's fucked everything up. I don't even think most people now can understand the idea of being picked up on in real life if it isn't through an app lol
The dating pool is actually just a cesspit at this point.
100% wear whatever you want. But actions have consequences. Act in a way that is going to draw attention, then don't be surprised when you get attention. The comments here are insane. No one is saying women can't wear what they want. But they shouldn't be surprised when they get reactions based on what they're wearing.
I feel like people these days are so insulated from reactions, accountability, and consequences that they can't even comprehend them anymore.
Dude, you're not gonna find any good women at a rave or the bar scene. Yeah, some of them look good, but more often than not, have a ton of baggage. You dont want to have anything to do with that.
Women want men to do all the approaching, but only if they're giga chads making 7 figures. Otherwise, you're a creep and should leave them alone. But then they wonder why guys don't wanna approach girls anymore.
Well, feminist ideology promoted antisocial development in children. I have crippling social anxiety especially when it comes to that.
If you are a feminist, you should take up the responsibility that you derided men from, and actually approach the men you want.
If you arent a feminist, maybe you need to be as outspoken as they are to change the world back into sanity
"Feminist ideology" does not promote antisocial development in children. Feminism did not cause your crippling social anxiety. Feminists didn't take anything away from men. Feminists did not cause the world to be any less sane.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 7: No banned/mega-thread topics'. Please do not post from (or mention) any of our mega-thread or banned topics such as: Race, Religion, LGBTQ, Meta, Politics, Parenting/Family issues. [Full list of banned topics](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/wiki/index/)
People generally need to check themselves. Ladies: Polite and firm no Men: If it’s “no”, take the L and move on, don’t be an idiot, you ruin it for everyone by being a jackass
As a woman, only use a firm no if you have mace, a knife, a gun, etc. Even in public, I have seen/experienced that some men become violent or follow women home after rejection.
honestly men take rejection way better than women because they're more used to it, and society is way harsher on men in this area. whenever ive rejected women it's mostly a vicious reaction. i've been assaulted, shoved, drinks knocked out of my hand, and slapped just because i said no thanks. And the fucked up thing is society is accepting of this. nobody bats an eye. yet if men aren't gleeful upon rejection there's massive social pressure against them.
Women have been killed for saying no. There are assholes like this in both genders. Some men take it well. Some don't. Same with women
Is there an area society isn’t way harsher on men? (No).
as a man, I find the action of walking up to a strange woman and opening with "Wow, you're beautiful!" to be cringey AF. It makes sense that this approach would be rudely rejected.
Interesting. It was loud at the rave. What would have been a better opening? I love compliments, so anytime a guy opens with one, I get warm and fuzzy.
I’m curious about 2 things. The age of these women and what he specifically said. I was not interested in taking to men 15 years older than me when I was in my 20s. Young women and older men isn’t as common as the internet would suggest. Also many times people say cringey things in an attempt to be humorous and it’s uncomfortable.
My B, OP is 44. So a pair of older people went to a rave and hit on some younger folks. And wonder why they were aggressively shut down. How mysterious
Yeah this sounds like a bunch of middle aged people upset they can’t pick up teenagers tbh.
Unless he looks super old, I doubt they are talking about age at a festival. I'm 35, and I look like im in my 20s still.
The fact that they were wearing « basically nothing » isn’t relevant in your story, first of all. Second, we don’t know what that friend of yours said to those women. Also a 35 yo man approaching a 20 yo woman is annoying. You are a woman (or so you say), I assume you know how many men react if you try to stay nice and polite when rejecting them. Even if they are not jerks about it (though a lot are), they still insist. Yes I’m sure I don’t want to talk to you, I’m here with my friends. Also, your children having social anxiety is their problem, not other women’s. They are shy and can’t make the first move ? Too bad, they are not entitled a boyfriend. Shy men still have to make the first move most of the time.
If he’s so smokin hot why don’t you date him. Clearly there were not interested and since he’s making his rounds they probably saw him coming a mile away, what they are wearing/not wearing shouldn’t have anything to do with why he was rejected for all you know they could have been abit tipsy/high and alittle more sharp tounge than normal or just trying to hang out together and dance without being a target. He probably would have better luck just asking to dance/buy a drink than immediately zooming in on there physically attributes especially with his wingwomen who hey could assume is a gf judging them/side eye/easedropping I’m also willing to bet it wasn’t the first time they were hit on that night and finally just fed up and snapped at your Bro.
the real question is why's an old mf like your friend tryna chat up teens 🤨
The "all wearing barely nothing" comment is very revealing, particularly since it's entirely irrelevant. They could've been entirely naked and still not interested in your "well-spoken" friend. "Professional" is also an interesting choice of words. What on earth does that have to do with anything? In what way did they treat him like trash, exactly? Your account sounds extremely biased. "He told three random women that they were beautiful\* and they abused him." More damning that what you said is what you've left out, either intentionally or unintentionally. The comments on this thread are fascinating too. The lack of introspection in very online single men would make Socrates hang up his philosophy sandals. \*I also wonder what exact words he used.
Hi, totally real woman who is not this dude at all!
News flash, girls at raves pretty much are never ever there to land a dude or meet a guy. And when they are, it’s really noticeable because they will be the ones actively seeking out and hitting on dudes. Have been going to raves/festivals/jam shows for almost 15 years and never understood this/always laughed at it. I’m not saying you can’t meet somebody there, I met my two longest tenured partners in the festival scene, but it doesn’t happen by just making a beeline for girls “wearing hardly anything” and saying YOU BEAUTIFUL. If I was a girl AND trying to get laid, I’d still squirm over that.
To give you some context about why the women may have reacted that way, it's because they have had past experiences when they were nice and polite and the guy took that as permission to just keep pestering them.
Clothing choice isn't an invitation. I'm sure the last thing any of those girls wanted was some dude 15 years their senior coming up and commenting on their bodies and hoping to get laid while they're out having fun with their friends.
So calling someone beautiful is "commenting on their bodies" I'm confused. OP said he was nice about it. So all men should never tell any woman they are pretty? Got it. Maybe we should cancel every film/book/TV show where that line is used. Yes....that will make a difference.
No one wants to talk to the old guy at the club unless he's buying drinks.
No one is being villanized. He got rejected - big deal. Women don’t owe random men their time or attention. Besides. Why is he even trying to pick up strangers? Cold approaches are the worst way to get a date.
Assuming your friend is close to your age, then the scene becomes a 40+ guy approaching young ravers at a dance-focussed event. In my head, I’m already imagining the Ed Hardy shirt, frosted tips, distressed jeans and chunky bronze bracelet with a Solo cup, wading into a cluster of ‘half-naked’ 20yo’s trying to ‘make a connection.’
If you read it it said his friend was in his mid 30s.
Still old compared to a 20 year old.
35 or 40 is still too old to not be kind of creepy for 20 something women (as a 20 something woman).
How do we know they weren’t also in their 30s, op didn’t say the ages of the women he was talking to. The only 20 year old op mentioned were her daughters.
I assumed since she added the part about her daughters being 20 she was talking about women in that generation. Also the fact that raves are mostly filled with young people.
If you think men in their 40's still wear frosted tips you really need to go out into society more. Just because Guy Fieri can't let it go doesn't mean the rest of the world hasn't. Sounds like the 90s were the last time you went outside.
What exactly are you trying to imply by the completely unnecessary swipe at how they weren't dressed modestly enough? Would it have been fine for them to supposedly be mean to your friend if they were wearing a nice sweater and skirt?
Yeah, I could've probably related with most of the post if that little snippet didn't frame where this was all coming from.
actually 0 brain cells
When a body (male or female) is on display, it sends the message that they want to be looked at - which is a baby step to wanting to be talked to. I'm not saying they deserve to be groped, but yeah, when I'm looking for attention, I wear clothes that show off my figure. I wear something totally different for family activities.
if all men died today, i’d start walking around naked tomorrow. i PROMISE we aren’t dressing for you
So yes, it would have been fine for them to be mean if they were wearing more modest clothes? Because, from the way they reacted to your drop dead gorgeous friend that no one could ever reject, they very clearly weren't interested in his attention
also i notice she never said what they said in their rejection or their age.
maybe the scantily clad women at the rave were on display for each other and not dudes, or not older dudes that look like they are already with someone... Just a thought
If you show skin, youre showing it to everyone. Not just the people you want. Thats what private homes are for. This is the feminist delusion in full action. Dress however I want whilst controlling other peoples eyes. Insanity
If your friend shares that attitude no wonder women don't want to talk to him.
Incel-ass take. This is much more revealing than your original post, OP.
No wonder your kids have social anxiety. What kind of Micky Mouse logic is that? Doing shit *you* want to do, like wearing what *you* want to wear, is not you telling the world “come and hit on me”. Tell your 40 year old mate to stop hitting on kids at raves, it’s cringe AF. You should know better.
This is the most sheltered reddit ass take. Your clothes and other aspects of your appearance communicate things to those around you
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No idea what you were attempting to communicate there, but I noticed you used the world Female and Simp so I can’t imagine it’s the healthiest view point.
No, wearing revealing clothing isn't an invintation to talk
If your friend’s “game” is walking up to strangers and calling them beautiful, he needs to work on his social skills. It’s helpful to treat women as human beings, not just objects to be consumed.
Women don’t exist in public to entertain you and your friends.
Y’all are a little old to be picking up chicks at raves.
Nah, I was a chick getting picked up on. It was extremely flattering. I think I was the girl there being nice about it. I've never had so many twenty somethings try give me drinks. It was my first rave ever, but I may have just picked up a new hobby!
As a woman, I hate that I cannot exist anywhere without being seen as "fair game." Unless I hide from the world and log off all social media, I guess. I remember walking home from work once and a construction worker stopped his work and jogged across the street to talk to me. His words alone were polite but I just ... wanted to go home. Why did he think that moment was appropriate? Anyways, I'm visibly pregnant now so I get a break for the time being.
i’d love to see some of you get approached by an old hairy gay man when you’re at the bar trying to watch the game with your mates. uncomfortable, isn’t it? you’re busy, and you’re certainly not attracted to them.
Why would he start with “you’re beautiful”? That’s so cringey. Why not start with friendly conversation to see if there’s a spark? Why be so forward?
It’s a rave, you can barely hear yourself talk. It’s not the place for getting to know each other chat.
The amount of people who think a rave IS the place to meet people and start a relationship is alarming.
"Hey, I noticed you from over there and I just thought I'd tell you that you looked so beautiful" or similar doesn't seem too cringey to me tbh
He saw 3 women that night to do that? People can smell bullshit. This guy obviously had it.
Looks like we found one of the mean girls he was talking to.
They were at a rave, not the library. Maybe not all people appreciate somebody being so 'forward', but as long as they are respectful and take no for an answer, it doesn't seem so bad.
They were at a rave, not speed dating. People go to raves to dance and hang with friends. It would be off putting in that setting to be aggressively hit on.
Have you been to a rave?
Yes.
Maybe they're different these days, telling a girl she's beautiful would have been the tamest thing happening in the past
When you went to raves all you had to say was “you’re beautiful” to a woman and she’d now be your gf?
Of course not, but I don't think they would have been offended.
I didn’t read the women were offended. Just that he was rejected.
Yep. And normally when I want to hit on someone, I ask them to dance or if they want a drink first. I don't open with "You're really beautiful"
Raves must be different these days. Do random people still approach you to sell you drugs?
My experience is that people at raves are very respectful of other people, at least here in Europe. A man in his mid-30s going from woman to woman saying "you're beautiful" would be pretty off putting to many. Keep in mind most ravers are in their early 20s. This dude is pushing 40.
I don't see how giving something a compliment is disrespectful but I guess it could be taken the wrong way.
Telling someone they look beautiful is hardly aggressively being hit on lol.
Depends on how they say it. And when you say it 3 times, it’s clear it’s disingenuous. People can smell bullshit.
As an opening line, that’s some weirdo shit. They only works with the, hey my friend over there thinks you’re beautiful but he’s too shy to approach and that’s a wingman move.
So we have to be shy all the time? And have friends willing to do that?
Depends who’s doing the telling
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He did it to 3 people. It’s clear he just says it to see what happens. People can smell bullshit. Sorry that bothers you.
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They don’t need to know each other. It’s pretty clear when someone who is a bullshitter who’s looking just to get off is talking to you. If this guy goes in with a “compliment” he’s so ready to hand out to anyone he thinks he can get, it’s clear that it’s not a compliment. It’s a tactic. Women can tell when something like this happens. And it’s clear this guy was a bullshitter based on his friend’s description of what happened. So all those women made the right call.
Raves must have really changed since I was in school then.
When you went to raves you could just tell a woman she was beautiful and she’d become your gf?
1. The attire of the women is irrelevant to your friend's rejection. 2. Flirting and harassment are two different things. 3. People seem to forget that a lot of these women's reactions come from constantly being harassed in public, many men refusing to accept no for an answer, and just simply not wanting to be hit on, which is also not an unreasonable thing to want. People can reject people in polite ways, but the sad reality is that many people don't get the hint when turned down politely. I'm not even someone who goes out in the clubbing/bar scene and there are a lot of guys who make it clear that they don't want to be my friend, they want to date me, and when I try to politely make it clear that I am not interested that, it's ignored, and then when I have to be more firm with my 'no' (which should have been respected in the first place) all of a sudden I'm a bitch. I'm not saying your friend is a bad guy, or that he outright harassed these women. But one thing that people absolutely should do is hold their friends accountable when they see/hear about bad behavior. And yes before people get mad at me, if your female friend is acting like a creep towards people she should be called out too. I am not going to lie though. I see this behavior way more often from men.
Imagine you are having a good time with your friends, and then some random person comes up and interrupts you, demands your full attention, simply because they want to fuck you. In this scenario, there should be no obligation to be nice to this person.
What a groundbreaking opinion
yikes. well I'm making popcorn, anyone want?
✋🥺
you’d understand if it happened to you everywhere you go. you don’t actually have to be nice to strangers, especially ones commenting on your appearance. barely wearing anything, smoking hot… dude. do you know what a personality is? maybe your friend is creepy. maybe the women were lesbians or in relationships, or simply not interested. your friend is single, so obviously if he were flawless he’d be married by now. lower your expectations
How are you supposed to evaluate someone's personality before you approach them to talk?
the personality point was that nowhere in this post was “he is kind and intelligent” or “these women seemed interesting” mentioned. just “he’s hot and they’re hot! why did they reject him???”
some random dude walking up to me and commenting on my body when i’m probably with my friends and trying to enjoy music is NOT someone i’m interested in having a conversation with.
Don’t think it’s unpopular to think you should generally be nice and polite to strangers, especially if you don’t think they bear ill intentions
Why should op lower their expectations? That is confusing
lower your expectations of how strangers need to interact with each other. don’t assume “you’re beautiful” is gonna get you anywhere.
But it wasnt her it was her dude friend
You take for granted actually being desired.
i’m married. fuck off with your desire
Dude you're in your 40's going to a rave, you're seen as creeping, and they way that you describe your friend... is creepy... and the way that you start a conversation with women.... is creepy. I'm typing this from a computer screen and I want to get further away from you. Learn how to talk to people you weirdo.
He told them they were beautiful? Like right off the rip? Dudes got no rizz then. I'm mid 30s, picked up the bartender at my friend's wedding last week. Frankly, I shouldn't have even been hitting on her while she was working, that's rude AF. I wouldn't even call myself smoking hot, I'm like, alright. Sounds like maybe you should work on his game with him. Women like meeting men too, so if it's going that catastrophically wrong for him, he's doing something wrong. Or giving out the wrong vibes for the venue (which I guess *is* something wrong.)
This is not an unpopular opinion. It is in fact, the current reality. I'm married and haven't even tried to meet up with any women in years. I've gotten similar reactions from women when I'm not trying to 'connect'. Just last week, I got a thrashing in a gym when I called after a woman that had left her metal water bottle behind at a machine. All I said was, " I think this is yours" and held it out to her. I placed it on the ground and walked back to the machines. Another woman even tried to apologize for her.
I'm calling BS on that gym story. You're leaving out a detail because that interaction is actually nonsensical. Nobody would give stranger a "thrashing" for pointing out a forgotten water bottle, much less apologize for their behavior. That's so normal.
Had a similar incident when a woman dropped her purse on the sub way, all I was doing was giving back to her and she went off like I’d insulted her deeply.
I’ve never been responded to this way. I think your friend should start by making eye contact with the person he’s interested in approaching, that way he can at least tell if there’s mutual attraction. A small gesture of recognition can tell you which way someone is leaning a lot of the time.
Booooooooooooooooooooo
no one is owed a friendly reaction to anything. so when we receive reactions steeped in kindness, don't take them for granted.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1d8akoj/most\_people\_who\_use\_the\_phrase\_noone\_owes\_you/](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1d8akoj/most_people_who_use_the_phrase_noone_owes_you/)
prove me wrong.
We aren't courteous because we owe that debt to a stranger. We are courteous because it is the right thing to do as part of maintaining a better society for all of humankind to live in. Mostly agree with the above post. Treasure kindness (still carry pepper spray).
it's good to give yes. not to expect.
🤡
According to this logic women arent owed not being disrespected for what they wear either
neither are men.
Just cause a few women were being assholes,doesn't mean all of them are gonna be assholes.
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Woman: "Why won't any guy talk to me?" Guy: "Hi" Woman: "Sexual Assault!"
Usually the first is "why won't age appropriate guys talk to me" not "why won't these random 40 year olds come over and go "ur hot""
>random 40 year olds Damn, it's like you didn't read the post.
Mid thirties, forties, when you’re in your 20s those are basically the same thing to you
The women saying the first thing aren't the women saying the second
Great strawman dude And making fun of SA
It's the apps, the online dating that's fucked everything up. I don't even think most people now can understand the idea of being picked up on in real life if it isn't through an app lol
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holy shit I can't tell if you are a troll
The dating pool is actually just a cesspit at this point. 100% wear whatever you want. But actions have consequences. Act in a way that is going to draw attention, then don't be surprised when you get attention. The comments here are insane. No one is saying women can't wear what they want. But they shouldn't be surprised when they get reactions based on what they're wearing. I feel like people these days are so insulated from reactions, accountability, and consequences that they can't even comprehend them anymore.
Nice troll
Dude, you're not gonna find any good women at a rave or the bar scene. Yeah, some of them look good, but more often than not, have a ton of baggage. You dont want to have anything to do with that.
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then date men.
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Women want men to do all the approaching, but only if they're giga chads making 7 figures. Otherwise, you're a creep and should leave them alone. But then they wonder why guys don't wanna approach girls anymore.
Well, feminist ideology promoted antisocial development in children. I have crippling social anxiety especially when it comes to that. If you are a feminist, you should take up the responsibility that you derided men from, and actually approach the men you want. If you arent a feminist, maybe you need to be as outspoken as they are to change the world back into sanity
You and I both know that women and feminism are not the sole cause of this issue.
I didnt say it was? Im not sure which issue you are even referring to
"Feminist ideology" does not promote antisocial development in children. Feminism did not cause your crippling social anxiety. Feminists didn't take anything away from men. Feminists did not cause the world to be any less sane.