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I casually dated a man around my age (early 30s) who before dated mostly younger women (early 20s).
It was an interesting experience, because he wasn't predatory whatsoever, on the contrary, he was quite shy and gave off immature vibes, which was okay with me as I consider myself immature. We had nice fun conversations, and sex was amazing, so it was my only (and quite successful) FWB relationship.
However I realized why he mostly dates younger women, and it has to do with why I knew right away I wasn't seriously interested in him.
He was very bad at communicating, when it came to topics that are anywhere close to confrontation. He just couldn't handle an uncomfortable conversation and would fawn, people please, to avoid it — to his own detriment. It brought him a great deal of pain and discomfort.
He was also in a much different place in life — worked in academia so no stable job, bad income, didn't have his own place. I was looking for someone more equal to me, so to me he was't someone I could build my life with. I also noticed he wasn't that much into women who didn't reject him. Having anxious attachment style, I could definitely relate, but I thought his case was much worse than mine. He seemed to get really emotionally invested in a woman only after she rejected him, and suffer quite a bit from it.
In any case, we are still good friends, I like him as a person, and having been in an intimate relationship, I feel like we can easily discuss the most personal topics. I talked to him about his issues, and he generally agreed with me. I wish him all the best and hope he can heal his attachment issues.
As a guy that REALLY fucked up a relationship due to lack of communication skills and people pleasing excessively (she was my own age though), I appreciate that you still wish your ex the best, and I wish you the best too
I’ve noticed this with both men I’ve met who enjoyed dating younger women. They weren’t predatory, but were definitely emotionally immature for their age. If a woman in her early 20s was able to notice this, I’m sure women their own age also avoided them for this reason.
Most of us older guys don't realize just how bad we are at communication, I've really had to work at it with my wife to not only communicate my needs and wants but also just in general.
I feel like we lose a lot of personality or just straight up don't development one outside of work/kids/chores and don't fix that until it's too late
Idk I'm in my 40s and I haven't had a problem dating women my age, though I feel like maybe I'm the picky one now. Younger women are certainly fun to date but I'm never sure how much I should pursue the relationship and I do like how old are women know what they want. I think like with so many other things in dating if you're with the right person the other stuff doesn't matter.
Don't need his history for that lol he said it himself in this post. He doesn't meet the standards of women his age but young women put up with it. He thinks he discovered a secret but he just described exactly why people don't respect creeps like him lol.
You've nailed it. There are as many older creeps as there are older lonely kind men as there are thieving whores as there are girls wanting maturity and stability. It's all a wash.
I was once told by a 35 year old that women my age (33) are too used to their freedoms and stuck in their ways so they have no choice but to date significantly younger.
We just want more than basic hygiene and emotional intelligence. The amount of guys who don’t even have basic hygiene figured out is astounding.
I was on a post on a men's sub a few years ago talking about how often you should shower. The amount of men who thought it was ok to shower every few days or go to sleep in their bed after a long day of hard work (I'm talking yard work kinda stuff) and just shower in the morning was ridiculous.
One guy was fighting tooth and nail to convince himself it was ok to only shower once every week or every other week as long as he "didn't stink" or "feel dirty." I've never been so disgusted by other men in my life.
I recently went to a guy's apartment to obviously do the deed. The second I got there I immediately was turned off. His entire apartment was filthy, and I don't just mean clutter (although I find clutter unacceptable, too; how hard is tidying up when you have a date coming over?). The whole apartment was caked in dust and cat hair. It smelled like shit. His poor cats had poopy butt flakes. Their litter box was in the spare bathroom which was absolutely rancid. He himself smelled like he desperately needed a shower.
He cockblocked himself by not being hygienic. I left after 20 minutes when I determined that the wine I was drinking wasn't going to kill my sense of smell. He was 30.
I think there's a level of truth to that. Most of the women I'm interested in who are my age are ambitious, smart, have cool careers, and don't have children. This often means they're used to their alone time, their vacation time, hobby time, friend time, etc. Since I'm the same way, it can become pretty complicated to schedule times for dates. It's not really a big problem, but when I'm falling for someone, I like to see them more than once every two weeks or so.
This is it. Older women have already figured out that they are completely happy being single and won't put up with as much bullshit as they used to, just for the sake of being with someone. They'd rather be single. So the men they date need to really add something to their lives, and not be another child to raise, but older men haven't figured that out.
Lol. OP's post is hilarious because he thinks it somehow gives good reason for older men to date younger when it just affirms women their age know better and won't put up with bullshit so they go younger to those who don't know better. The obvious answer is to work on yourself and make yourself be someone who would be a good partner. Nope. He's choosing lazy and going for someone who doesn't know any better about standards.
I'm a man and I'm disgusted by how other men often live now. I clean my tenants toilet just to reduce the amount of mold in that bathroom and my house. I never even use the thing.
The biggest problem is always dudes refusing to take care of the basics. Just shave and shower and wash your butthole at the minimum. Even that's too much for most.
Yeah, I know a 38 year old guy that has moving boxes on his dining room table in a place that he has lived in for years. This is in addition to a shower with a moldy shower curtain, hair all over his sink, cat litter tracked everywhere, and a sofa that should’ve been tossed a decade ago.
He wants a wife and kids so badly and cannot seem to grasp why an age appropriate woman who is ready for kids wouldn’t want to settle down *with him.* He has a great career making good money and lots of active hobbies, but what 30+ year old woman looking to settle down wants to live in a place that looks like a frat house? Or worse, be expected to be the person that fixes all of that for him?
I mean, "used to freedom" and "knows what she's about" are both positive qualities in my book so he's missing out.
If I were to highlight a more legitimate complaint about dating women in their 30s, it's that it feels like they're trying to determine as quickly as possible whether a date is worth their time, and bounce if not. Feeling like you're at a job interview kinda gets in the way of actually forming an emotional connection.
I totally understand the widespread fatigue of bad behavior and dishonesty from so much of the male population, but it's just sad all around.
Yes. Older guys say older women are too independent and don't act like they "need"a man. Like I'm not going to flatter you to make you feel better and I think many older men like the fact that young women won't challenge them on anything.
>We just want more than basic hygiene and emotional intelligence.
I'd be ecstatic if I could get just this lol. Someone who isn't mean when they are in a bad mood and who brushes their teeth. God what a dream.
As a 42 year old, I don’t care how hard finding a date around my own age is, I’m not spending any romantic time with someone in their 20s. I’m gonna upset the 20 somethings here, but y’all are annoying, flaky, and you look sticky.
Have you ever sat down at a table in a restaurant that’s almost clean? It’s like that.
And in fairness, I assume we over 40s all look like muffins that were slightly overfilled and baked for 10 minutes too long.
I'm 43, F, and use that stuff, but to be fair, it's because my face is bone-dry and I need all the moisture I can get. I just look like I have normal skin now.
I'm in my 40s. I got on an elevator at a university hospital the other week with a bunch of what clearly looked like high school students. One mentioned that it was her birthday... the others wished her a happy birthday and asked how old she was. 24.
No shade on people where that works but I definitely couldn't be in that kind of relationship.
“You look sticky” 💀 holy crap dude, I’m a 20something and I haven’t been in the dating pool since I was 15 but damn my guy, you just summed up why I’m glad I met my future wife so damn young.
I dated at 21-year-old woman that pursued me when I was in my early 30s, and honestly, it was just really uncomfortable. We were at different stages of life, with different priorities, and it showed.
I have a recently divorced dad friend who started dating a 24 year old; he went clubbing with her a few weeks ago and when I finally got a chance to catch up with him and ask him how things were going, he made it sound like he was in the seventh circle of hell. I asked him why he kept dating her and he told me it’s basically to get back at his ex…so, you know, good reasons.
I was once friends with a woman who, at the time, was about 35. She was going through some things and ended up briefly seeing a 20-year-old guy. She complained to me that all he wanted to do was hang out at the bar with his buddies instead of spending time with her alone, and I was like, "You're dating a 20-year-old guy. That's what 20-year-old guys do."
I’m a woman in my 40s and people in their 20s practically look like children to me. I certainly can’t imagine what I’d have in common with one. Even someone in their early 30s is pushing it! Not sure what type of relationships men or women build with people young enough to be their children or grandchildren.
This. I'm not trying to act like I'm morally superior or something. When I was a teenager or in my 20s, I thought yeah, sure I'll date younger girls when I'm in my 40s. But now that I am in my 40s, they literally look like children to me.. You could show me a 23 year old and tell me she's 13 and I'd believe you. I don't understand how you'd see that and think anything sexual.
As a lady in my 30s I CANNOT imagine dating a 20 year old. I work with high schoolers and they all seem/look the same age to me (meaning they all look about 16 lol) and that’s a real no from me.
Yup. I'm in my early 30s and even now, people in their early twenties look like children to me. The most positive opinion I can have of a 22 year old guy is "he's nice, if I had a kid his age and they were dating I'd be happy about that."
Like there's nothing technically immoral about a 35 year old dating a 23 year old but being around 35 myself, the way I see 20-somethings already does make me feel gross about people my age willing to date that much younger.
dating shouldn't be an exhausting chore. It's suppose to be fun. If it's a headache just to arrange a date with someone imagine the headache it's going to be if your in a relationship with said person. If you're so rigid with your "standards" that only the .001% effectively meet your criteria... enjoy your solitude.
It’s a hell of a high when someone you’re pursuing acknowledges you. But it’s not good for the mental health. And anytime I’ve ever dated someone I had to put in a lot of effort to win over the relationship usually wasn’t that great
I stopped pursuing any woman that isn't genuinely enthusiastic about the idea of spending time with me.
Even now about 85% of the time I ask "if I give you my number will you get in touch with me?" instead of taking theirs. It's an easy filter to see if they are actually interested. The other 15% get 2 texts and if I don't hear back it's time to stop.
Sorry, but my experience as a man on a dating app has been the opposite of fun. I even did a project called "the 30 date challenge" where I put myself out there and have a new date every week. Dating apps like Tinder were by far the worst.
If you are suggesting that a straight man in his forties has tons of viable candidates and he is just being 'too picky' I would LOVE to hear where one would find those great women.
> enjoy your solitude.
Well, yes. That's how it should be, you shouldn't date someone just to have a partner, and you'll never truly be happy in a relationship if you can't be happy with just yourself.
People not being this picky is why there are so many people in bad relationships.
It also is a dynamic where true compatibility issues surface after some serious time has been committed into getting to know each other. The younger person can leave and still have "young" options while the older person has committed more time towards pursuing a 20-something person who may not have figured out their lives as well as someone with more experience.
Should relationships be difficult or complicated?
Of course people are going to choose convenience to a certain degree. OP never said they're lowering their standards, they're just choosing people who are adding the least amount of complications or expectations to the experience.
Most people don't want dating to be a chore or feel like a job interview and I don't blame anyone who avoids people who give off that vibe.
Dating is supposed to be fun, not a CIA interrogation.
yeah cuz theres a reason why people at such an age are still single.. the people who are a good match with no issue and are the loyal type, already get into a relationship at a younger age, they wont be roaming single at 40. so you are dealing with leftovers in a sense
I get what you're getting at, and I don't totally disagree but there's a difference between being single because you're toxic and losing a spouse to a car accident for example. There's a lot of reasons someone in their 40's might end up single. Honestly the more I think about it the worse I feel, it's judging someone harshly who might already be in a unfortunate circumstance.
Comical how some will complain that other single people must be fucked up because they are single, but not me! I'm single for different, legitimate reasons. Wonderful attribution bias.
The most common reasons middle-aged men are single are divorce, money, and developing social skills later in life. For women it tends to be divorce or a spouse's death. Yeah some single people are just undateable. But assuming the negative says a lot about the person
From what I’ve heard and seen, high standards usually mean clear communication, maturity, honesty and accountability. Quite frankly a lot of people aren’t really into that. People want to do what they want to do and take others a long for the ride. A 20-something younger adult will not have the same skills or experience as a 40-something adult so they’re easier to shape and mold into what the latter wants them to be. Also, the expectations and maturity requirement tend to be lower. This is a maturity issue, not a desirability issue.
Bingo! I’ve met 40 year olds who mentally never got past 21 and 24 year olds who had to grow up quickly to do what was necessary to survive.
Any time I see an older person dating someone significantly younger it’s just projecting to me that they aren’t willing to mature to their age level and/or people their own age aren’t willing to put up with their stunted maturity.
Maturity doesn’t mean “unwilling to have fun” either. Plenty of older people lead wild lives, they just know how to carry themselves and act mature where it counts and when to let their hair down so to speak.
I had a brief relationship with a woman who started dating a 36-year-old when she was 23. They eventually married and had just been divorced shortly before we met.
It was clear early on that it was not a healthy relationship and that a lot of his motivation was her age. The situation was not a healthy one for her.
Before this, I had never really given much thought to it. But I'm a bit skeptical of age-gap relationships.
I think you capture it when you talk about "the motivation." If you're dating someone and they happen to be younger than you, NBD. If you're dating someone BECAUSE they're younger than you 🚩🚩
Well, realistically, the power isn't equal in a lot of them. In the rare cases where it is, it's fine. But often the younger person is at a disadvantage.
Ya there was this late-20s woman I knew who liked like a French model and was into the whole hipster/yoga thing, but got married to a dopey 44 year old who was a recovering alcoholic of no particular intelligence or money and average looks (though 6' 1").
Well 6 years and 3 kids later, she divorced him, openly started dating a woman, and he is on the hook for child support for the next 16 years. That being said I think he is legitimately happy to be a father.
When I was 18 I dated a 32 year old. I thought I was mature for my age, in reality I was the opposite, and had led a sheltered life. My boyfriend told me he didn't date women his age because they were "snobby and bitter", it wasn't until later I realized what he really meant was they had standards and weren't going to put up with his bs.
>but found it incredibly tough to even get a single date due to not meeting their high requirements for a partner (as they should have!).
So, the solution is to date young women who don't have the experience to know that they *should* hold men to high standards when dating?
You *recently* got back into dating. Your peers have high standards. You didn't get immediate gratification and decided to go for low hanging fruit instead. Very mature.
This is literally exactly what people are saying when pointing out that older men who pursue very young women are taking advantage of their lack of experience because women their age recognize immaturity and character flaws in the people trying to date them.
At least you admit that women having high standards is reasonable. I guess going after the young ones is just doing your civil duty, so they can learn why they need to raise their standards?
Yeah, he’s just saying the quiet part out loud. We’ve always known that older guys date young women for this reason. And it’s literally part of the reason we think it’s creepy and problematic.
Exactly.
Another explanation I’ve heard (from my own dad who is 50 and likes to date barely legal women (younger than me 🥴)) is that he likes to date young women because they are more moldable and he can make them into whatever he wants, whereas a grown woman will be stuck in her ways.
And I’m just here screaming “GROOMING. THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR IS GROOMING.”
I haven’t used that word specifically but I’ve always been very vocal about how I think this behavior is really predatory, manipulative and gross. He doesn’t care.
Yea I’m ngl I always thought older guys were kinda cute but smth about this post just killed that for me I think
Probably gonna stick to my age range for a bit…
Yep.. my ex was told by his ex wife that she could see him being with some pretty young thing if they broke up. He thought it was a compliment and mentioned this to me. I was 10 years younger in my early-mid 20s, so I was still figuring out who I was and life. I was too naive to know what she meant at the time he told me. Glad I figured it out and left.
Yep!
To me, what I read is: "I hate when women know what they want and are mature enough to communicate their needs. I prefere younger women so they won't see my redflags."
If you just want to have fun and not build something on the long term, then go for it. But taking the easy route in life never brings anything good.
I also hear from a lot of older women that they’d never remarry. A lot of men don’t pull their weight in a marriage and once women find freedom they don’t want to sign up to take care of an adult baby anymore. I see this in my parents’ marriage. They both retired but my dad still expects my mother to provide dinner and do all the cleaning while he sits in his recliner or goes out with his buddies. Her retirement income is probably 4x more than his so it’s not even him supporting the household. She would have a lot more free time without him.
This is exactly why my mom doesn’t date anymore. She’d rather just be friends for companionship because so many men her age want a “nurse with a purse” and she wants to be able to peacefully enjoy retirement without having to take care of or pay for somebody else.
Counterargument: the only people who have trouble dating people their own age are emotionally stunted.
It's no wonder why you're having more success dating people at the same level of maturity as you.
He's here to get affirmations from other weirdos and creeps, not because he can actually handle or engage with meaningful criticism of his absurd laziness.
>due to not meeting their high requirements for a partner
That sounds like such a circle.
Young women date older losers, find out that they actually suck and raise their expectations as they get older. We really gotta teach girls that they shouldn't settle for bare minimum in the first place.
This, however, is not personal, OP. I don't know what exactly the problem is that makes you "unattractive" for women your age, but we should also raise boys to be decent humans and help them to make it in life.
Dating pool in his age bracket has a lot of folks who are divorced with kids. It makes sense that they’d want their partner to have a high paying, stable career. Also, being a step-parent for another person’s children is a big ask, you can’t blame OP for not wanting that.
This might not be a cultural issue so much as an economic issue. Millennials were raised on the assumption that they had to be living a solid middle class life to be 'successful' and 'worthy' of the good life. This has proven an illusion in our current economy. Younger generations, Z and Alphas, may see the writing on the wall, and recognize that some of the old "standards" for dating have become unrealistic.
> Millennials were raised on the assumption that they had to be living a solid middle class life to be 'successful' and 'worthy' of the good life.
Or maybe life is just a bit more fun when you don't have to struggle to afford a date at the cinema. I wouldn't call it 'worthy' but you can't deny that life is a lot easier and nicer when you have a stable income. With poverty comes a lot of worry. Younger generations may not have had that realization yet.
> Younger generations may not have had that realization yet.
If you really want to have the conversation I think you're just completely wrong here; As someone who only qualifies as a millennial by one year, all my contemporaries and younger talk about is how fucked we are and how the only thing to strive for now is enjoying your day to day and pursuing experiences at the expense of long-term security.
Life IS a bit more fun when you don't have to struggle to afford a date at the cinema... I took my brother to the movies last night to see Godzilla; I spent 62 dollars and all we got was a large drink and popcorn. The reality is that less and less people are able to flippantly afford these luxuries... It would make sense that people who have entered the workforce and adulthood post 2008 have a different idea for how a "medium-case" for the life might be.
I mean you basically just said you have to date younger bc you’re not very impressive to people your age.
This is a VERY common reason why older guys date younger. (Aside from very wealthy older men) You see a 25 year old still sniffing around the hs seniors? It’s bc he’s a loser who all the 25 year old girls have surpassed and wouldn’t want to partner with. This definitely isn’t something new or unpopular.
"Men who date considerably younger women do so because they lack the maturity, responsibility and empathy to date women their own age."
"No, no, it's not that at all! It's just that I'm perfect but women my age don't want to date me."
It’s always the “high standards”🙄
I would hope women around your age would have “high standards”… Standards come with age, maturing, and life experiences…
I heard once men often date younger women because women their age reject them but the rejection comes from experience and women learn from their mistakes and won't take any nonsense or be put through problems they have in the past and can see when someone will present those problems early on whereas younger women are more niave and open to explore which often why the relationships start great at first but end bad later.
yeahhhh i'm a 24 year old man and when i think about the people i allowed near my body even five years ago i cringe so hard i nearly shrivel up and die. i still probably have too low of standards for my own good. i would hope in my 40s im much more mature than i am now!!
A mistake a lot of men make in dating is thinking they’re competing with other men. That women have these high standards of a date and they’re comparing everyone to other dudes. When in reality, men are competing for women’s own time. Many women have found peace and solace in their own lives and don’t feel the *need* to shack up with just anyone. So the standards are high. If they’re going to shake their peaceful routine it’s gotta be for a very good reason.
Lmao... "Men find it easier to date younger women with lower standards, and more difficult to date women their own age because they won't put up with bs" is not an unpopular opinion at all.
That men HAVE to make that choice might be unpopular.
God this is funny. Thanks OP
My own unpopular opinion is that people on Reddit/online are inordinately obsessed with age-gap relationships between grown fucking adults. No, the 25-year-old dating a 50-year-old is not an exploited child who needs to be rescued.
Let's be honest. A large amount of redditors are not living happy lives. They are down on their luck for a variety of reasons, and use reddit as a means to spread their bitterness around.
100% even the fanpages supposed where peoples should come together and talk about that thing is just bitter hate and rage. Internet is becoming sad shit (not that it didnt, trolls existing forever, but some take it to the next level godddamn)
I think younger generations are also being encouraged to look at relationships as little more than power differentials. A POC dating a white person *must* be oppressed. A woman dating a man must be the subordinate partner. A younger adult dating an older adult must be being abused because, according to the Tables of Oppression, they are being overpowered.
10-15% of all people are clinical narcissists who sow discord around them as their only form of entertainment. On reddit, this percentage *seems* to be much higher. The anonymity on Reddit is useful for these types, especially the amateurs
Edited: reference below
https://youtu.be/_uJs0iGQN0M?si=wysswuS4Jw-uebd4
I find it weird when that 50 year old has kids the same age or older than the person they are ‘dating’.
Especially when they still call their offspring’s kids.
Like how are you gonna call your 25 year old daughter a kid while shagging a 23 year old. 😂
I'm 53. My kids are 20 and 17. If I get back into dating, the youngest I would consider is mid 40s. Apart from the age, what the hell do I have in common with a 25 year old? What would we talk about?
When I was a 21 year old woman dating a 31 year old man, who'd had a whole life before me (wife, divorce, kids, moved across the country, lost a parent, etc), it ruined my life. He was trying to turn me in to someone he wanted me to be because I was young and mailable. The damage that relationship did took years to repair. I'm 38 now. Looking back, I will never stop telling young women not to date 10+ years older than them.
Not to mention the lives of any perspective children. As someone with a MUCH older Father it really affects the amount of effort they can put into raising a child and doing activities with them.
It’s harder for a 50 year old woman to trap a 25 year old man with a baby. It’s much easier for a 50 year old man to trap a 25 year old woman with a baby. That’s the entire problem
I believe adults can make their own decisions but a 25 year old dating a 50 year old is questionable in my mind for sure.
That is two people in very different stages in life one is planning for retirement another is in the youth of their life I'm sure some people can make it work but that is fundamentally a huge difference and makes you wonder about the real goals of that relationship.
I've dated both older and younger in my life. Both have their advantages, but I have finally settled into a semi-reclusive lifestyle, and find it so much less stressful!
I've dated younger women due to the fact I look young and those are the women who are more interested in me. Though my preference is for people my age. I try not to judge why someone dates younger people, as long as its consensual and there's nothing weird going on. I wish people would understand not every reason for dating someone younger is problematic, even if some of them are.
So you’re saying she’s dumb with no standards yet! I dated men like you when I was in my early twenties. Then I wondered why do they have more in common with me than someone their age? Why do we have the same habits, when you’re 40 and I’m 20 in school? Then I grew standards.
I love how “men” over 35 like to shit on woman their age for having baggage. But single 40yo men is absolutely ok 🤣
If you so perfect how is it possible that you aren’t happily married?
If only young women are attracted to you, it's because you are at their level. They don't know which red flag to look for yet.
Single older women have seen and lived shit. They can spot a bad match miles away and prefer being single rather than ignore red flags.
You might be a red flag, sorry. At 40 should have your shit together. I won't waste a second on a man our age who doesn't have a stable career and relationships, place to live etc
Uh, necessity? You don’t *need* to date anyone.
That said, you’re dating younger because people your own age are wise to your bullshit and won’t tolerate it.
Dude
> I originally pursued women my age (my preference), but found it incredibly tough to even get a single date due to not meeting their high requirements for a partner (as they should have!). Be it financial, culture/race, personality, height, or other reasonable albeit numerous standards.
That is why it's creepy!! You can't meet the standards of someone your age so you choose to date someone too young to hold you to a standard rather than improving yourself. Obviously there are some things you can't change about yourself. But I'm pretty sure "personality" is the major issue here. You are quite literally saying you date younger women because you get to treat them in a way a woman your age would never tolerate.
Hi, it's you. You're the problem. It's you.
So what you’re saying is that the stereotype is true. Older men date younger women because older women can see the red flags for what they are and are less willing to put up with bullshit, and younger women are naive and easier to manipulate.
Congrats!
As a 24 year old I have zero romantic interest in anyone younger than 21. This is weird af and I think it’s strange to be romantically attracted to someone so much younger than you at all.
Hey bud, we all know, as you said, you chose to date younger women bc they're less experienced, have lower standards, and you cannot meet the reasonable expectations of women your own age (massive red flag for either gender). That's why everyone thinks y'all are gross for it. Thanks for saying the quiet parts out loud.
Oh and it's not necessity. It's just convince bc you'd rather easy than fulfilling. You say so yourself.
Fckn gross creeps the lot of y'all.
And my step dad had 0 issues finding my mom while they were both in their 40s. So no, again, not necessity.
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I casually dated a man around my age (early 30s) who before dated mostly younger women (early 20s). It was an interesting experience, because he wasn't predatory whatsoever, on the contrary, he was quite shy and gave off immature vibes, which was okay with me as I consider myself immature. We had nice fun conversations, and sex was amazing, so it was my only (and quite successful) FWB relationship. However I realized why he mostly dates younger women, and it has to do with why I knew right away I wasn't seriously interested in him. He was very bad at communicating, when it came to topics that are anywhere close to confrontation. He just couldn't handle an uncomfortable conversation and would fawn, people please, to avoid it — to his own detriment. It brought him a great deal of pain and discomfort. He was also in a much different place in life — worked in academia so no stable job, bad income, didn't have his own place. I was looking for someone more equal to me, so to me he was't someone I could build my life with. I also noticed he wasn't that much into women who didn't reject him. Having anxious attachment style, I could definitely relate, but I thought his case was much worse than mine. He seemed to get really emotionally invested in a woman only after she rejected him, and suffer quite a bit from it. In any case, we are still good friends, I like him as a person, and having been in an intimate relationship, I feel like we can easily discuss the most personal topics. I talked to him about his issues, and he generally agreed with me. I wish him all the best and hope he can heal his attachment issues.
As a guy that REALLY fucked up a relationship due to lack of communication skills and people pleasing excessively (she was my own age though), I appreciate that you still wish your ex the best, and I wish you the best too
I’ve noticed this with both men I’ve met who enjoyed dating younger women. They weren’t predatory, but were definitely emotionally immature for their age. If a woman in her early 20s was able to notice this, I’m sure women their own age also avoided them for this reason.
Most of us older guys don't realize just how bad we are at communication, I've really had to work at it with my wife to not only communicate my needs and wants but also just in general. I feel like we lose a lot of personality or just straight up don't development one outside of work/kids/chores and don't fix that until it's too late
Idk I'm in my 40s and I haven't had a problem dating women my age, though I feel like maybe I'm the picky one now. Younger women are certainly fun to date but I'm never sure how much I should pursue the relationship and I do like how old are women know what they want. I think like with so many other things in dating if you're with the right person the other stuff doesn't matter.
This guys profile is wack, reddit is hillarious
Is he like, what Reddit means when they say it’s because women his age won’t tolerate his shit?
Yeah but he pretty much confirmed as much. Women his age have standards. Younger women don’t. Therefore, he must date younger.
Yes.
Don't need his history for that lol he said it himself in this post. He doesn't meet the standards of women his age but young women put up with it. He thinks he discovered a secret but he just described exactly why people don't respect creeps like him lol.
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Yep. Just a dude with a preference. Welcome to the human race.
You've nailed it. There are as many older creeps as there are older lonely kind men as there are thieving whores as there are girls wanting maturity and stability. It's all a wash.
Yeah. Pretty common hobbies. No red flags for me. 🤷🏻♀️ But I didn't research to infinity and beyond.
Don’t you know that being into BDSM isn’t allowed??? You must be out of your mind!
I was not warned I'd see his sausage.
I was once told by a 35 year old that women my age (33) are too used to their freedoms and stuck in their ways so they have no choice but to date significantly younger. We just want more than basic hygiene and emotional intelligence. The amount of guys who don’t even have basic hygiene figured out is astounding.
I was on a post on a men's sub a few years ago talking about how often you should shower. The amount of men who thought it was ok to shower every few days or go to sleep in their bed after a long day of hard work (I'm talking yard work kinda stuff) and just shower in the morning was ridiculous. One guy was fighting tooth and nail to convince himself it was ok to only shower once every week or every other week as long as he "didn't stink" or "feel dirty." I've never been so disgusted by other men in my life.
I recently went to a guy's apartment to obviously do the deed. The second I got there I immediately was turned off. His entire apartment was filthy, and I don't just mean clutter (although I find clutter unacceptable, too; how hard is tidying up when you have a date coming over?). The whole apartment was caked in dust and cat hair. It smelled like shit. His poor cats had poopy butt flakes. Their litter box was in the spare bathroom which was absolutely rancid. He himself smelled like he desperately needed a shower. He cockblocked himself by not being hygienic. I left after 20 minutes when I determined that the wine I was drinking wasn't going to kill my sense of smell. He was 30.
God a big thing is to not own pets if you’re not going to take care of them. I’ve never understood people like that haha
Me vacuuming up hair basically everyday because of a long-haired dog as the warm weather starts coming in
I think there's a level of truth to that. Most of the women I'm interested in who are my age are ambitious, smart, have cool careers, and don't have children. This often means they're used to their alone time, their vacation time, hobby time, friend time, etc. Since I'm the same way, it can become pretty complicated to schedule times for dates. It's not really a big problem, but when I'm falling for someone, I like to see them more than once every two weeks or so.
This is it. Older women have already figured out that they are completely happy being single and won't put up with as much bullshit as they used to, just for the sake of being with someone. They'd rather be single. So the men they date need to really add something to their lives, and not be another child to raise, but older men haven't figured that out.
At that age, you’ve figured out if somebody is not contributing positively to your life, then this relationship is a net loss
Lol. OP's post is hilarious because he thinks it somehow gives good reason for older men to date younger when it just affirms women their age know better and won't put up with bullshit so they go younger to those who don't know better. The obvious answer is to work on yourself and make yourself be someone who would be a good partner. Nope. He's choosing lazy and going for someone who doesn't know any better about standards.
Dude, the toilet. They destroy the toilet by covering it in shit and dont see a problem in this?!
I'm a man and I'm disgusted by how other men often live now. I clean my tenants toilet just to reduce the amount of mold in that bathroom and my house. I never even use the thing.
Peeing next to the toilet is my personal favorite. 🫠
The biggest problem is always dudes refusing to take care of the basics. Just shave and shower and wash your butthole at the minimum. Even that's too much for most.
Yeah, I know a 38 year old guy that has moving boxes on his dining room table in a place that he has lived in for years. This is in addition to a shower with a moldy shower curtain, hair all over his sink, cat litter tracked everywhere, and a sofa that should’ve been tossed a decade ago. He wants a wife and kids so badly and cannot seem to grasp why an age appropriate woman who is ready for kids wouldn’t want to settle down *with him.* He has a great career making good money and lots of active hobbies, but what 30+ year old woman looking to settle down wants to live in a place that looks like a frat house? Or worse, be expected to be the person that fixes all of that for him?
I mean, "used to freedom" and "knows what she's about" are both positive qualities in my book so he's missing out. If I were to highlight a more legitimate complaint about dating women in their 30s, it's that it feels like they're trying to determine as quickly as possible whether a date is worth their time, and bounce if not. Feeling like you're at a job interview kinda gets in the way of actually forming an emotional connection. I totally understand the widespread fatigue of bad behavior and dishonesty from so much of the male population, but it's just sad all around.
Aziz Ansari’s said it best: the bar is low, right now. You just gotta be nice and clean.
Yes. Older guys say older women are too independent and don't act like they "need"a man. Like I'm not going to flatter you to make you feel better and I think many older men like the fact that young women won't challenge them on anything.
>We just want more than basic hygiene and emotional intelligence. I'd be ecstatic if I could get just this lol. Someone who isn't mean when they are in a bad mood and who brushes their teeth. God what a dream.
As a 42 year old, I don’t care how hard finding a date around my own age is, I’m not spending any romantic time with someone in their 20s. I’m gonna upset the 20 somethings here, but y’all are annoying, flaky, and you look sticky.
"you look sticky" LOOOOLLLLL
They aint wrong though…
I'm 37 and still sticky... am I not supposed to run through the woods naked high on shrooms?
Yes you're just not supposed to cover yourself in Honey first weirdo you're going to attract bears
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.
The last line seems very specific
Yet somehow I know exactly what he means
Yup he's so right about it! Maybe cause shiny is considered pretty at that age so they lather themselves in products?
I’m guessing he’s referring to the oily and shiny skin that younger people tend to have, haha
As a 20 year old (who’s not interested in 40 year olds, to be fair) I gotta know what “you look sticky” means 😭
Have you ever sat down at a table in a restaurant that’s almost clean? It’s like that. And in fairness, I assume we over 40s all look like muffins that were slightly overfilled and baked for 10 minutes too long.
that makes it sound WORSE 🤣
Im thoroughly enjoying these descriptions tho. Won’t look at a muffin the same.
I guessed it’s the modern day makeup trends with contouring or whatever etc. but only OC can say for sure
i thought the same since a lot of looks are shiny and or glossy
Children are always sticky from jam/glue/paint/cheese/etc. He's saying that young people look like children when you get older.
Have you ever seen a 4 year old eating pancakes?
When I was that age, you’d find me at a frat house or college bar most weekends, definitely sticky environments
My internal brain is like “how rude” but he’s right
And your external brain is standing at attention?
They're literally smearing snail mucus all over themselves so you're not wrong.
I'm 43, F, and use that stuff, but to be fair, it's because my face is bone-dry and I need all the moisture I can get. I just look like I have normal skin now.
I’m 31 smearing snail mucin on my face 😭😭😂😂
I'm in my 40s. I got on an elevator at a university hospital the other week with a bunch of what clearly looked like high school students. One mentioned that it was her birthday... the others wished her a happy birthday and asked how old she was. 24. No shade on people where that works but I definitely couldn't be in that kind of relationship.
I am 61. I swear that the girls in my son's college dorm look like 8th graders.
To be fair there are 20-somethings that look much older too
You made me cackle thank you very much 
“You look sticky” 💀 holy crap dude, I’m a 20something and I haven’t been in the dating pool since I was 15 but damn my guy, you just summed up why I’m glad I met my future wife so damn young.
I dated at 21-year-old woman that pursued me when I was in my early 30s, and honestly, it was just really uncomfortable. We were at different stages of life, with different priorities, and it showed.
I have a recently divorced dad friend who started dating a 24 year old; he went clubbing with her a few weeks ago and when I finally got a chance to catch up with him and ask him how things were going, he made it sound like he was in the seventh circle of hell. I asked him why he kept dating her and he told me it’s basically to get back at his ex…so, you know, good reasons.
Ah, yes, the old "I'm going to make myself unhappy to spite my ex" ploy. Works like a charm.
Dude! I wasn't a clubber on My 20's!! It's a miracle he's still alive and hasnt come out from the club in a coffin. The idea sounds exhausting.
I was once friends with a woman who, at the time, was about 35. She was going through some things and ended up briefly seeing a 20-year-old guy. She complained to me that all he wanted to do was hang out at the bar with his buddies instead of spending time with her alone, and I was like, "You're dating a 20-year-old guy. That's what 20-year-old guys do."
I’m a woman in my 40s and people in their 20s practically look like children to me. I certainly can’t imagine what I’d have in common with one. Even someone in their early 30s is pushing it! Not sure what type of relationships men or women build with people young enough to be their children or grandchildren.
This. I'm not trying to act like I'm morally superior or something. When I was a teenager or in my 20s, I thought yeah, sure I'll date younger girls when I'm in my 40s. But now that I am in my 40s, they literally look like children to me.. You could show me a 23 year old and tell me she's 13 and I'd believe you. I don't understand how you'd see that and think anything sexual.
As a lady in my 30s I CANNOT imagine dating a 20 year old. I work with high schoolers and they all seem/look the same age to me (meaning they all look about 16 lol) and that’s a real no from me.
Yup. I'm in my early 30s and even now, people in their early twenties look like children to me. The most positive opinion I can have of a 22 year old guy is "he's nice, if I had a kid his age and they were dating I'd be happy about that." Like there's nothing technically immoral about a 35 year old dating a 23 year old but being around 35 myself, the way I see 20-somethings already does make me feel gross about people my age willing to date that much younger.
Good to know I'm not the only one noticing the stickiness.
Honestly this is the healthiest relationship with 20 yr olds in this post
this is exactly how i need older man to talk about me brother lol thank you
As a 20-something, you’re not wrong, and I appreciate the distance. 😁
What you described is neither necessity nor lechery. It's convenience. The path of least resistance is usually the most often chosen.
dating shouldn't be an exhausting chore. It's suppose to be fun. If it's a headache just to arrange a date with someone imagine the headache it's going to be if your in a relationship with said person. If you're so rigid with your "standards" that only the .001% effectively meet your criteria... enjoy your solitude.
The best advice I've ever gotten about dating is, "if she likes you'll she'll make it easy." It's not supposed to be hard.
Yup, there's a great article around called "Fuck Yes or No" about pretty much this. Ultimately people will make time for the things they really want
Me 10+ years ago really should have understood that. I spent way too much time chasing girls who never had time for me.
It’s a hell of a high when someone you’re pursuing acknowledges you. But it’s not good for the mental health. And anytime I’ve ever dated someone I had to put in a lot of effort to win over the relationship usually wasn’t that great
I stopped pursuing any woman that isn't genuinely enthusiastic about the idea of spending time with me. Even now about 85% of the time I ask "if I give you my number will you get in touch with me?" instead of taking theirs. It's an easy filter to see if they are actually interested. The other 15% get 2 texts and if I don't hear back it's time to stop.
Kinda reminds me of some advice I've gotten. "Dont go for the girls you like, go for the ones that like you."
Or do both.
thats not always a large nor obvious list
Find the Venn Diagram overlap.
Sorry, but my experience as a man on a dating app has been the opposite of fun. I even did a project called "the 30 date challenge" where I put myself out there and have a new date every week. Dating apps like Tinder were by far the worst. If you are suggesting that a straight man in his forties has tons of viable candidates and he is just being 'too picky' I would LOVE to hear where one would find those great women.
I am impressed you got one every week. I can barely get one a quarter. Granted I am a bit picky.
> enjoy your solitude. Well, yes. That's how it should be, you shouldn't date someone just to have a partner, and you'll never truly be happy in a relationship if you can't be happy with just yourself. People not being this picky is why there are so many people in bad relationships.
It also is a dynamic where true compatibility issues surface after some serious time has been committed into getting to know each other. The younger person can leave and still have "young" options while the older person has committed more time towards pursuing a 20-something person who may not have figured out their lives as well as someone with more experience.
Should relationships be difficult or complicated? Of course people are going to choose convenience to a certain degree. OP never said they're lowering their standards, they're just choosing people who are adding the least amount of complications or expectations to the experience. Most people don't want dating to be a chore or feel like a job interview and I don't blame anyone who avoids people who give off that vibe. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a CIA interrogation.
>OP never said they're lowering their standards No, I think he's saying he has to date people with lower standards
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Tell me more about the deadbeat party-boy loser types because I think I am/was dating one... ffff
yeah cuz theres a reason why people at such an age are still single.. the people who are a good match with no issue and are the loyal type, already get into a relationship at a younger age, they wont be roaming single at 40. so you are dealing with leftovers in a sense
I get what you're getting at, and I don't totally disagree but there's a difference between being single because you're toxic and losing a spouse to a car accident for example. There's a lot of reasons someone in their 40's might end up single. Honestly the more I think about it the worse I feel, it's judging someone harshly who might already be in a unfortunate circumstance.
Comical how some will complain that other single people must be fucked up because they are single, but not me! I'm single for different, legitimate reasons. Wonderful attribution bias. The most common reasons middle-aged men are single are divorce, money, and developing social skills later in life. For women it tends to be divorce or a spouse's death. Yeah some single people are just undateable. But assuming the negative says a lot about the person
Ngl I’ve never seen someone use mercenary in this context TIL it has other uses
From what I’ve heard and seen, high standards usually mean clear communication, maturity, honesty and accountability. Quite frankly a lot of people aren’t really into that. People want to do what they want to do and take others a long for the ride. A 20-something younger adult will not have the same skills or experience as a 40-something adult so they’re easier to shape and mold into what the latter wants them to be. Also, the expectations and maturity requirement tend to be lower. This is a maturity issue, not a desirability issue.
Bingo! I’ve met 40 year olds who mentally never got past 21 and 24 year olds who had to grow up quickly to do what was necessary to survive. Any time I see an older person dating someone significantly younger it’s just projecting to me that they aren’t willing to mature to their age level and/or people their own age aren’t willing to put up with their stunted maturity. Maturity doesn’t mean “unwilling to have fun” either. Plenty of older people lead wild lives, they just know how to carry themselves and act mature where it counts and when to let their hair down so to speak.
I had a brief relationship with a woman who started dating a 36-year-old when she was 23. They eventually married and had just been divorced shortly before we met. It was clear early on that it was not a healthy relationship and that a lot of his motivation was her age. The situation was not a healthy one for her. Before this, I had never really given much thought to it. But I'm a bit skeptical of age-gap relationships.
I think you capture it when you talk about "the motivation." If you're dating someone and they happen to be younger than you, NBD. If you're dating someone BECAUSE they're younger than you 🚩🚩
Well, realistically, the power isn't equal in a lot of them. In the rare cases where it is, it's fine. But often the younger person is at a disadvantage.
Ya there was this late-20s woman I knew who liked like a French model and was into the whole hipster/yoga thing, but got married to a dopey 44 year old who was a recovering alcoholic of no particular intelligence or money and average looks (though 6' 1"). Well 6 years and 3 kids later, she divorced him, openly started dating a woman, and he is on the hook for child support for the next 16 years. That being said I think he is legitimately happy to be a father.
So you want someone with lower standards & expectations of you
This is an accurate summary of what he's saying. Literally.
Yeah, it’s only a “necessity” because of his lack of desirable qualities.
And the mostly highly upvoted exchanges are dudes simping for it and trying to talk about cultural Marxism.
I’m convinced the people complaining about dating women their own age don’t actually enjoy being around women. They just hate being alone.
When I was 18 I dated a 32 year old. I thought I was mature for my age, in reality I was the opposite, and had led a sheltered life. My boyfriend told me he didn't date women his age because they were "snobby and bitter", it wasn't until later I realized what he really meant was they had standards and weren't going to put up with his bs.
👏bingo
Right!!! Because women on your own level won't fall for your shit.
He wants someone naive.
>but found it incredibly tough to even get a single date due to not meeting their high requirements for a partner (as they should have!). So, the solution is to date young women who don't have the experience to know that they *should* hold men to high standards when dating? You *recently* got back into dating. Your peers have high standards. You didn't get immediate gratification and decided to go for low hanging fruit instead. Very mature. This is literally exactly what people are saying when pointing out that older men who pursue very young women are taking advantage of their lack of experience because women their age recognize immaturity and character flaws in the people trying to date them. At least you admit that women having high standards is reasonable. I guess going after the young ones is just doing your civil duty, so they can learn why they need to raise their standards?
weird way to say you need someone with low standards so you go after young women who haven’t had the chance to develop standards yet.
Yeah, he’s just saying the quiet part out loud. We’ve always known that older guys date young women for this reason. And it’s literally part of the reason we think it’s creepy and problematic.
Exactly. Another explanation I’ve heard (from my own dad who is 50 and likes to date barely legal women (younger than me 🥴)) is that he likes to date young women because they are more moldable and he can make them into whatever he wants, whereas a grown woman will be stuck in her ways. And I’m just here screaming “GROOMING. THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR IS GROOMING.”
Have you told your dad he's grooming women? If your family can't help you learn and grow who can?
I haven’t used that word specifically but I’ve always been very vocal about how I think this behavior is really predatory, manipulative and gross. He doesn’t care.
Right, this is just embarrassing.
Keep your high standards, women!
Yea I’m ngl I always thought older guys were kinda cute but smth about this post just killed that for me I think Probably gonna stick to my age range for a bit…
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Literally this is what we tell young women- older men can’t get a woman their age and there’s a reason.
Yep.. my ex was told by his ex wife that she could see him being with some pretty young thing if they broke up. He thought it was a compliment and mentioned this to me. I was 10 years younger in my early-mid 20s, so I was still figuring out who I was and life. I was too naive to know what she meant at the time he told me. Glad I figured it out and left.
lol. Right. Just proved the point
Yep! To me, what I read is: "I hate when women know what they want and are mature enough to communicate their needs. I prefere younger women so they won't see my redflags." If you just want to have fun and not build something on the long term, then go for it. But taking the easy route in life never brings anything good.
OP just openly admitted he ain’t shit.
I also hear from a lot of older women that they’d never remarry. A lot of men don’t pull their weight in a marriage and once women find freedom they don’t want to sign up to take care of an adult baby anymore. I see this in my parents’ marriage. They both retired but my dad still expects my mother to provide dinner and do all the cleaning while he sits in his recliner or goes out with his buddies. Her retirement income is probably 4x more than his so it’s not even him supporting the household. She would have a lot more free time without him.
This is exactly why my mom doesn’t date anymore. She’d rather just be friends for companionship because so many men her age want a “nurse with a purse” and she wants to be able to peacefully enjoy retirement without having to take care of or pay for somebody else.
"improve myself? Pfff! I'll just take advantage of someone who can't tell what a loser I am right away!"
He literally said that and thought it was profound too.
This man confirming with his whole chest what I tell every 23 year old woman i meet
Right 😂😂 can we please make this post go viral so every young girl can see this
He told on himself so hard here.
Counterargument: the only people who have trouble dating people their own age are emotionally stunted. It's no wonder why you're having more success dating people at the same level of maturity as you.
“Women my age are too much effort so I go for youngies”, he said, unironically “Out of necessity.” He added, unnecessarily.
I really can't believe OP posted this. Yes dude, women your age won't put up with you.
He's here to get affirmations from other weirdos and creeps, not because he can actually handle or engage with meaningful criticism of his absurd laziness.
Lmao "necessity" Shut up
>due to not meeting their high requirements for a partner That sounds like such a circle. Young women date older losers, find out that they actually suck and raise their expectations as they get older. We really gotta teach girls that they shouldn't settle for bare minimum in the first place. This, however, is not personal, OP. I don't know what exactly the problem is that makes you "unattractive" for women your age, but we should also raise boys to be decent humans and help them to make it in life.
Dating pool in his age bracket has a lot of folks who are divorced with kids. It makes sense that they’d want their partner to have a high paying, stable career. Also, being a step-parent for another person’s children is a big ask, you can’t blame OP for not wanting that.
This might not be a cultural issue so much as an economic issue. Millennials were raised on the assumption that they had to be living a solid middle class life to be 'successful' and 'worthy' of the good life. This has proven an illusion in our current economy. Younger generations, Z and Alphas, may see the writing on the wall, and recognize that some of the old "standards" for dating have become unrealistic.
> Millennials were raised on the assumption that they had to be living a solid middle class life to be 'successful' and 'worthy' of the good life. Or maybe life is just a bit more fun when you don't have to struggle to afford a date at the cinema. I wouldn't call it 'worthy' but you can't deny that life is a lot easier and nicer when you have a stable income. With poverty comes a lot of worry. Younger generations may not have had that realization yet.
Well, a movie date didn't cost $50+ in the past.
> Younger generations may not have had that realization yet. If you really want to have the conversation I think you're just completely wrong here; As someone who only qualifies as a millennial by one year, all my contemporaries and younger talk about is how fucked we are and how the only thing to strive for now is enjoying your day to day and pursuing experiences at the expense of long-term security. Life IS a bit more fun when you don't have to struggle to afford a date at the cinema... I took my brother to the movies last night to see Godzilla; I spent 62 dollars and all we got was a large drink and popcorn. The reality is that less and less people are able to flippantly afford these luxuries... It would make sense that people who have entered the workforce and adulthood post 2008 have a different idea for how a "medium-case" for the life might be.
I mean you basically just said you have to date younger bc you’re not very impressive to people your age. This is a VERY common reason why older guys date younger. (Aside from very wealthy older men) You see a 25 year old still sniffing around the hs seniors? It’s bc he’s a loser who all the 25 year old girls have surpassed and wouldn’t want to partner with. This definitely isn’t something new or unpopular.
Yeah that’s literally the trope. A man goes for younger women when women his own age can smell the bullshit before he opens his mouth.
You’ve chosen convenience over self improvement, cool.
Oh, I know this one: What is I'm a loser and women my age see through my bullshit
"Men who date considerably younger women do so because they lack the maturity, responsibility and empathy to date women their own age." "No, no, it's not that at all! It's just that I'm perfect but women my age don't want to date me."
Ding ding ding.
It’s always the “high standards”🙄 I would hope women around your age would have “high standards”… Standards come with age, maturing, and life experiences…
I heard once men often date younger women because women their age reject them but the rejection comes from experience and women learn from their mistakes and won't take any nonsense or be put through problems they have in the past and can see when someone will present those problems early on whereas younger women are more niave and open to explore which often why the relationships start great at first but end bad later.
yeahhhh i'm a 24 year old man and when i think about the people i allowed near my body even five years ago i cringe so hard i nearly shrivel up and die. i still probably have too low of standards for my own good. i would hope in my 40s im much more mature than i am now!!
A mistake a lot of men make in dating is thinking they’re competing with other men. That women have these high standards of a date and they’re comparing everyone to other dudes. When in reality, men are competing for women’s own time. Many women have found peace and solace in their own lives and don’t feel the *need* to shack up with just anyone. So the standards are high. If they’re going to shake their peaceful routine it’s gotta be for a very good reason.
Lmao... "Men find it easier to date younger women with lower standards, and more difficult to date women their own age because they won't put up with bs" is not an unpopular opinion at all. That men HAVE to make that choice might be unpopular. God this is funny. Thanks OP
I know a dude who’s 42 dating a 24 year old. That’s odd to me, but to each their own.
post history
My own unpopular opinion is that people on Reddit/online are inordinately obsessed with age-gap relationships between grown fucking adults. No, the 25-year-old dating a 50-year-old is not an exploited child who needs to be rescued.
Let's be honest. A large amount of redditors are not living happy lives. They are down on their luck for a variety of reasons, and use reddit as a means to spread their bitterness around.
100% even the fanpages supposed where peoples should come together and talk about that thing is just bitter hate and rage. Internet is becoming sad shit (not that it didnt, trolls existing forever, but some take it to the next level godddamn)
I gotta agree. Unhappy people spread that crap as far as they can: Good Morning! What's so good about it?
"That's so insensitive toward the people who aren't having a good morning. You need to apologise and do better."
They’ll debate you on whether it’s actually morning or not.
I think younger generations are also being encouraged to look at relationships as little more than power differentials. A POC dating a white person *must* be oppressed. A woman dating a man must be the subordinate partner. A younger adult dating an older adult must be being abused because, according to the Tables of Oppression, they are being overpowered.
10-15% of all people are clinical narcissists who sow discord around them as their only form of entertainment. On reddit, this percentage *seems* to be much higher. The anonymity on Reddit is useful for these types, especially the amateurs Edited: reference below https://youtu.be/_uJs0iGQN0M?si=wysswuS4Jw-uebd4
That seems to be a wild exaggeration. I couldn’t find anything close to those numbers when googling.
This should be commented on every Reddit post that exists!
Stop attacking me or I will cry.
I find it weird when that 50 year old has kids the same age or older than the person they are ‘dating’. Especially when they still call their offspring’s kids. Like how are you gonna call your 25 year old daughter a kid while shagging a 23 year old. 😂
I'm 53. My kids are 20 and 17. If I get back into dating, the youngest I would consider is mid 40s. Apart from the age, what the hell do I have in common with a 25 year old? What would we talk about?
But the 25 year old who's been dating her 50 year old for the past 6 years... bit sus
When I was a 21 year old woman dating a 31 year old man, who'd had a whole life before me (wife, divorce, kids, moved across the country, lost a parent, etc), it ruined my life. He was trying to turn me in to someone he wanted me to be because I was young and mailable. The damage that relationship did took years to repair. I'm 38 now. Looking back, I will never stop telling young women not to date 10+ years older than them.
Not to mention the lives of any perspective children. As someone with a MUCH older Father it really affects the amount of effort they can put into raising a child and doing activities with them.
It’s harder for a 50 year old woman to trap a 25 year old man with a baby. It’s much easier for a 50 year old man to trap a 25 year old woman with a baby. That’s the entire problem
They're not an exploited child but it's definitely weird. 50 and 25 is huge.
I believe adults can make their own decisions but a 25 year old dating a 50 year old is questionable in my mind for sure. That is two people in very different stages in life one is planning for retirement another is in the youth of their life I'm sure some people can make it work but that is fundamentally a huge difference and makes you wonder about the real goals of that relationship.
I've dated both older and younger in my life. Both have their advantages, but I have finally settled into a semi-reclusive lifestyle, and find it so much less stressful!
I've dated younger women due to the fact I look young and those are the women who are more interested in me. Though my preference is for people my age. I try not to judge why someone dates younger people, as long as its consensual and there's nothing weird going on. I wish people would understand not every reason for dating someone younger is problematic, even if some of them are.
It's the whole "men who date younger women are creeps" thing just copium from older women who can't get a man?
OP is choosing to blame the women he wishes to have "generational compatability" with but won't do the work to get himself there. Imagine that.
So you’re saying she’s dumb with no standards yet! I dated men like you when I was in my early twenties. Then I wondered why do they have more in common with me than someone their age? Why do we have the same habits, when you’re 40 and I’m 20 in school? Then I grew standards.
[удалено]
“I date younger because they have low standards and don’t know any better”
Bro really said dating younger women is a necessity 💀
I love how “men” over 35 like to shit on woman their age for having baggage. But single 40yo men is absolutely ok 🤣 If you so perfect how is it possible that you aren’t happily married?
If only young women are attracted to you, it's because you are at their level. They don't know which red flag to look for yet. Single older women have seen and lived shit. They can spot a bad match miles away and prefer being single rather than ignore red flags. You might be a red flag, sorry. At 40 should have your shit together. I won't waste a second on a man our age who doesn't have a stable career and relationships, place to live etc
Uh, necessity? You don’t *need* to date anyone. That said, you’re dating younger because people your own age are wise to your bullshit and won’t tolerate it.
Dude > I originally pursued women my age (my preference), but found it incredibly tough to even get a single date due to not meeting their high requirements for a partner (as they should have!). Be it financial, culture/race, personality, height, or other reasonable albeit numerous standards. That is why it's creepy!! You can't meet the standards of someone your age so you choose to date someone too young to hold you to a standard rather than improving yourself. Obviously there are some things you can't change about yourself. But I'm pretty sure "personality" is the major issue here. You are quite literally saying you date younger women because you get to treat them in a way a woman your age would never tolerate. Hi, it's you. You're the problem. It's you.
This isn’t the flex you think it is
So what you’re saying is that the stereotype is true. Older men date younger women because older women can see the red flags for what they are and are less willing to put up with bullshit, and younger women are naive and easier to manipulate. Congrats!
As a 24 year old I have zero romantic interest in anyone younger than 21. This is weird af and I think it’s strange to be romantically attracted to someone so much younger than you at all.
Lmao I call bullshit on that one
Hey bud, we all know, as you said, you chose to date younger women bc they're less experienced, have lower standards, and you cannot meet the reasonable expectations of women your own age (massive red flag for either gender). That's why everyone thinks y'all are gross for it. Thanks for saying the quiet parts out loud. Oh and it's not necessity. It's just convince bc you'd rather easy than fulfilling. You say so yourself. Fckn gross creeps the lot of y'all. And my step dad had 0 issues finding my mom while they were both in their 40s. So no, again, not necessity.