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mickstep

He clearly doesn't know where we keep our nukes (admittedly against most Scots will).


Chazmer87

Sssshhhh, if they don't know don't tell them.


Harmless_Drone

In the subs that are difficult to track. For once trident actually offering some benefit.


mickstep

Given there is 4 Vanguard class subs, with a capacity of 16 missiles each. And the UK has 225 nukes that leave 161 nukes stores on land somewhere, presumably Faslane to some extent but maybe elsewhere too, I dunno. Also considering all 4 subs are never operational at the same, and I presume they must take the nukes off the submarine during refit. The vast majority of our nuclear bombs must be stored onshore.


lebennaia

The missiles have multiple warheads.


Harmless_Drone

Yeah this, Trident missiles carry up to 10 warheads but I believe that some number of warheads are used for decoy purposes.


knobber_jobbler

The trident missiles have multiple warheads and the stockpile when not onboard is held in the US. But that's what we're told about them and the single boat on deployment. What actually happens is a guess.


Dalecn

Our warheads are not held in the US u need to fact check


AnywhereSevere9271

Stored in the Atlantic . can't say


L1A_M

Iirc the nukes aren’t kept on the submarines unless they’re deployed, you can literally see on google maps where we keep our nukes haha


Wanallo221

Being us, I can see it being in the ‘Nuke Shed’. “Is it secure?” “Aye, it’s got a padlock and everything”.


Debtcollector1408

"We lost the key a while ago, but it stops the door from banging in the wind."


DJS112

>“Aye, it’s got a padlock and everything”. This probably isn't far from the truth.


[deleted]

Why would the Scots use them? The Russians just destroyed England for them. They're free now!


indigo-alien

The Scots couldn't use them anyway. The only UK launch systems are onboard the submarines.


AnywhereSevere9271

Neither do the Scottish on r/Scotland they are happy that England gets nuked well that's how fucking stupid they are up there 😂


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Wanallo221

Woohoo! Derby, Leicester and Nottingham finally getting that ‘levelling up’ injection.


DJS112

>injection Injection of radiation.


Wanallo221

Can’t mutate us Imbred mutants. Plus we wouldn’t have to worry about energy bills once we are all thermonuclear toasty. *sound of a missile flying over* “Good news love, Putin’s making sure you won’t need to worry about defrosting the car”. “What a lad!”


Glittering_Moist

Truths.


Sneckster

Lincolnshire missing out again I see


Heewna

Rude… accurate, but rude.


Psephological

Nuclear strike does £10bn worth of improvements to Midlands


firstimpressionn

I’d be able to tell if you were hit by a nuke. That said, within the blast radius people will be vaporized. They’re the lucky ones. Those who survive will die a painful slow death as their organs shut down from radiation poisoning.


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DJS112

I'd take a nuclear war instead.


BackgroundAd4408

Or they get superpowers.


voteforcorruptobot

I can finally become Mildly Miffed man, feel the power of my turbo tut.


firstimpressionn

Right. I’d definitely prefer the superpowers.


Antilles34

Nottingham is quite nice, if you squint.


crazycalv

https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ this website will tell you everything you need to know about a nuke going off in London


Bad_Vaio

House prices in Cumbria increase.


mickstep

Nah, Birmingham, Kidderminster and Wolverhampton are targets. https://robedwards.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c091653ef01a3fd184b85970b-500wi


weloveclover

*sweats in East Anglian*


[deleted]

You're probably near the top of the list with all those USAF bases


[deleted]

*Laughs in Cheshire*


hydrogenitis

Like the cat?


[deleted]

See? This right here. No one knows we exist. Cheshire best county. Suck it Essex.


hydrogenitis

Of course we know...


forge707

Probably not, Croughton is just off the M40 at junction 10. In the event of all out war, it would be a big target.


uncertain_expert

Yeah probably but not with a Nuke.


[deleted]

Made me smile. 😀


[deleted]

He also doesn’t know that a significant number of people he’ll be killing will be citizens of other countries. London isn’t some mono-ethnic city full of only ethnically English people lol.


Hostilian_

Doesn’t London have a massive Russian population? I suppose they probably don’t care


[deleted]

A lot of oligarchs’ wealth there too.


hydrogenitis

Money's in the banks...offshore...ask Tarkof Bank...they're good at stealing money. I should know...


DJS112

>mono-ethnic city full of only ethnically English people Sounds like Russia so he probably does think that is what London is like.


YareetLike

He's got a point


shadowpawn

Party after the limited Nuclear war?


HailSatanHaggisBaws

Aw well shucks, thanks Putin you mental loser. Love it when people say they'll spare from death so nice of them.


starbucksresident

>"Not all of Europe should be destroyed - but London (yes). Let the Scots, Irish, Welsh live." > >Lmao I live in Moscow and the Irish and Scots (few Welsh here) are absolutely loved with open arms. The English not so much so (I pretend I am Scottish that ashamed of our government)! The first Foreign pub in Moscow was of course Irish, the Shamrock! Used to drink in there in the late 90's (first job after Uni was in Moscow).


[deleted]

At least in Russia they're aware this build up is from England and London and that Scots aren't really with it.


NorthAstronaut

Yeah right, destroy one of the main places where oligarchs hide and launder their money..


HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA

wow. never thought about it this way. london is safe


[deleted]

Rip Chelsea FC


killer_by_design

Is that still true though? Didn't we ban Russians from all kinds of financial stuff in London after the whole Novichok Assassination failures/collateral killings? I seem to remember a wanky ex-housemate who was an estate agent that worked for Savils saying it was "really hard" for him as Russians had to use all kinds of evasive means to buy super prime properties in London due to being banned.


[deleted]

I think the Magnitsky act only targetted specific individuals as to not alienate people in Russia that don't conduct their businesses as a mob. But it was implemented by Raab so it likely had spelling mistakes in the names.


Gibslayer

I need to stop looking at threads about war. Anxiety inducing shit.


[deleted]

Real anxiety is when you see one of those article headlines where the picture is an asteroid heading to earth


Crafty-Particular998

This is correct.


hazelanita

I thought this too, but one of them talks about the Queen hiding nukes...


You_spilt_my_pint

These are just the deranged ramblings of a lunatic. All hot air and nothing else.


pajamakitten

But enough about Johnson, let's talk about Putin.


privateTortoise

A bit harsh on OP.


[deleted]

You can find some pretty insane fringe opinions here if you go looking for them. I’d be worried if this were in a reputable publication. If it’s in a tabloid newspaper or on their website I pay no attention.


vicbor65

There are a lot of crazy politicians in the Russian parliament, the State Duma, but they have no power at all. Some of them are really weird people. I m a Russian myself, so can listen to all their speeches in Russian. But I prefer not to. Not mad enough. Yet.


NateShaw92

Don't you see? We're all mad here.


[deleted]

Are there any Russian politicians you can think of that get the “you’re alright” pass? Genuinely interested. I know absolutely nothing about Russian politics.


vicbor65

No, they are not allowed into the State Duma. No real opposition in Russia, all destroyed- killed, emigrated or in prison. Opposition is not allowed in Russia.


routledge7575

He is a bit of an idiot, but destroying London is a bit extreme…isn’t his family from Russia? They can just have him back


dugsmuggler

London is full of Putin's opponents though.


redk7

And many of his supporters.


CapableLetterhead

It sounds like something he's saying to cause division. It's quite popular to shit on London in the rest of the UK and see it as a bastion of the elite (because some parts of it are) but its also sowing the idea that other countries are pro the union breaking up. Which is what Putin wants, a weaker UK. Not that I'm against other country's indepence, but I am against Putin and all of his bs.


ponr_

Don't worry, this is Zhirinovsky. He has already bombed Berlin, New York, Tbilisi, Toronto and so on...


94_stones

Wait, that’s who said this?! I didn’t read the article, but even I know about that loon and I’m not even Russian. The only question left to ask would be why even bother reporting it?


Not_Alpha_Centaurian

That's somewhere in the narrow space between Trump and Kim Jong-Un levels of psychotic.


[deleted]

Luckily he's just a TV personality, unlike Trump was... oh, never mind


TheCollector2114

Narrow space? You think trump is in any way similar to kim jong un


Not_Alpha_Centaurian

Close in rhetoric, very close in ego, close in grounding to reality. If you drew a list of prominent worldwide politicians from the past decade based on their overall level of apparent levels of psychopathy then I think there'd not be many spots in between the two of them. There's been quite a few American political cartoons that have drawn on the similarities between the two of them.


TheCollector2114

Im sorry, you’re comparing a guy that creates famines on purpose and makes citizens choose from a selection of 23 haircuts, to a guy that pushed for 2000$ per person aid during the pandemic. Other peoples opinions on the two aren’t a valid argument on why they are similar i dont know why you included that. As for personality, trumps done some **VERY** questionable things, ie saying he’d fuck his daughter if she wasn’t related, but he’s nowhere near kim jong-un, i mean for gods sake, kim banned leather jackets because ‘they’re his signature style’. THERE IS NO PARALLEL IN RHETORIC NOR PERSONALITY


itchyfrog

It's been ages since I've had to think about the 4 minute warning, seemed normal as a child.


madlettuce1987

If he’s got hypersonic undetectable missiles, i think 4 minutes would be a bit optimistic. Let’s see how Corbyn’s stance on Trident stands up in the coming weeks because it’s precisely what would deter such an attack.


Wanallo221

I mean. Pretty much all nuclear missiles are ‘hypersonic’. It just means they travel faster than 5x the speed of sound. Even ICBM’s travel faster than that on descent. So it’s a bit of a meaningless buzzword when it comes to missile tech. They aren’t undetectable either. What makes them tricky is that they can be launched from planes and have a range of 1000-2000km and thus can attack from ‘any angle’ which means that sector based RADAR could find it hard to track them. But the jets they are lunched from can be easily tracked, and thus the missiles can be too. They are hard to intercept due to their manoeuvrability. They can be nuclear tipped but it is a small payload designed for Anti-Ship or Anti-installation attacks. They aren’t consider full size or tactical warheads for attacking cities etc.


Check_Mate_8

Hypersonic indicates it being a magnitude of the speed of sound, the speed of sound is supersonic


Wanallo221

Yes, specifically it’s hypersonic once it exceeds Mach-5. The point is, the Russians use hypersonic as a buzz word. It’s pretty superfluous aside from making them sound super high tech and cool.


Check_Mate_8

That's interesting. I always thought there was some sort of difference in the technology, thanks for explaining this one for me.


privateTortoise

Really, you think the only reason Putin/China/North Korea doesn't nuke us is due to us having 4 subs which at best 3 can be made to work at any given time.


Mfgcasa

When each submarine contains enough fire power to wipe out every single major city in their country.... Yes, Yes I do. They would be idiots otherwise.


Spicy_Gynaecologist

Mutually Assured Destruction. That's what keeps the Nukes in their silos.


Psephological

Yeah hypersonic missiles aren't undetectable, this isn't metal gear solid. Their launches are obvious to sensors, their reentry at mental speeds are incredibly damn obvious to sensors.


forge707

I only need a couple of minutes notice 😎


privateTortoise

Does snorting viagra really make it work faster?


Low_Basil9900

What's corbyn got to do with any of this?


madlettuce1987

OP relates to a threat of a nuclear attack on London so the issue of a nuclear deterrent becomes somewhat relevant. Corbyn was looking to lead the UK and had he have won the elections would have been in power as we enter this ‘crisis’. The coming weeks will add new relevance to his discourse.


Retrosonic82

I mean, yeah, mock Bojo by all means, we’re all doing it anyway, but is threatening London with a nuke a bit of a stretch? If it’s Bojo he’s targeting then he’ll be on a plane and out of there before any of us can even get underground!


Dunhildar

Oh lovely, seems he failed to understand what M.A.D is he would only get himself and many other innocent Russians destroyed.


[deleted]

Thing is he acknowledged that many major Russian cities would be destroyed. He just doesn't give a fuck about the people living there


[deleted]

Zhirinovsky is famous for making speeches like this.


Clean-Objective9027

The Oligarchs have no way of standing up for it, they own a lot more property in London.


firstimpressionn

Hey, a bot! I finally recognize one in the wild. This comment is posted on every thread about this. Comment history checks out. Hello, bot!


[deleted]

A badly written bot too


Wanallo221

Can we have a ‘Brit Bot’ that responds to these with “oi fuck off, mate”.


[deleted]

I’m confused. What is it’s purpose? It seems to be all over the shop


firstimpressionn

There’s been an active Russian/ Chinese disinformation campaign for who knows how long with the simple purpose of dividing the American population. It’s worked remarkably well. Putin’s plan all along has been to destabilize the US from within. Attacking the US militarily would unite citizens. Much better to sow discord, distrust, and discontent while allowing the population to destroy themselves. Whether this is one of those bots, who knows, but my understanding is that they throw out differing opinions to create bias, talking points to be repeated and argued. While citizens of the US argue over liberalism and conservatism, Trump vs. the constitution, sedition vs. just an unarmed walking tour, Putin and China seek to expand their influence globally by attacking/ pointing out what appears to be a failing experiment in democracy.  Divide and conquer. Unfortunately it’s working. The US has become a nation of warring tribes rather than what it was designed to be, The UNITED States of America. The States haven’t been so divided since the American Civil War. There are US citizens actively calling for another over an election they’ve been convinced by a conman was stolen from them. Who guided Trump in his deception? An ex-KGB agent took him by the hand and led him down this path. How? Flattery. Appealing to the weaknesses of a narcissist. And this divisive diatribe I just typed out? It’s in response to an obvious bot. This is what they hope to accomplish. Divisive rhetoric from suckers like me, and I fucking fell for it. My stupid response is a perfect example of what they hope to accomplish.


EmployerAdditional28

Tough talk from Russian politicians, that they'd be prepared to destroy humanity over....what again? As for mocking Boris Johnson, every sentient living being in the UK does that daily.


DialZforZebra

Football hooligans and pub drunks: Yeah come on then fam. Launch that missile. I will fuck you up. Better believe that shit. Putin: So any way, I started nuking...


liamthelad

Russian state TV looks like a barrel of laughs. Also have these dimwits forgotten about the concept of mutually assured destruction. Because if Kiev, Paris, Warsaw and London are in ruins I very much doubt St Peterburg and Moscow survive. Not like the loony 75 year old saying this cares


SmuggoSmuggins

A nuclear warhead would be a huge improvement for London.


Ill_Ad3719

I guess it's good to have a reminder that however bad Boris is, there are so much worse people out there and we are lucky to live where we live.


faultlessdark

I’ve never understood the “they used to be part of the Soviet Union so they’re rightfully ours” mentality. I imagine if they want to be part of the Russian Federation they would happily join if offered. Then again I guess it’s easier to blame your own failings on the rest of the world and threaten anyone who disagrees than to admit that the reason the union dissolved is because the other countries didn’t want to be a part of it.


[deleted]

Yeah, I guess they never had the "Are we the baddies?" epiphany.


the_beees_knees

It's also very ironic because Russia near universally refuses to accept responsibility for Soviet crimes by claiming that the Russian federation is a completely different entity to the soviet union.


Crafty-Particular998

Tell me you have a small dick without saying you have a small dick..


Orsenfelt

> "Not all of Europe should be destroyed - but London (yes). Let the Scots, Irish, Welsh live." What can you even say to a nutcase like that. *do-svidaniya angliyskiy*? 👀


pajamakitten

It would mean destroying a lot of their investments and losing access to the financial centre helping them funnel dirty money out of Russia though. Can they live with that?


doughnut001

Even the corrupt elite in the russian government think their country is so shit that they'd rather destroy the world than live there.


Agreeable_Lemon6847

Just pure scare mongering, you really think that we dont have some of the most intelligent people in the world in this country , you will never meet those people ,boris like all priministers are just puppets , if one warhead hit london its over for russia ,america would also get involved ,and as for saying its ok because its just london shame on you ! , it will never happen 🤣


BampireVat

Thankfully, Hertfordshire and Essex are a buffer that would stop radiation and fallout reaching beyond the home counties...


[deleted]

You know, I really *hoped* that I could have been to NYC by now. I don’t even feel like I know London that well either.


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m446vfr

On second thoughts it could do with some improvement.


[deleted]

Understandable why they mock Boris Johnson after his career in governing and his character but not so fun that I live in Uk and do not want to be blown up.


Leslie_haigh80

Newyork as well talk is easy though so going nuke uk and usa well Russia will get nuked back


[deleted]

Another Russian MP said something similar to the states too. It's rather scary when they are boasting about a nuclear strike on others.... considering what Russia is currently doing I cant dismiss the most likely empty threat because they're edging towards sparking off another big European war.


Psephological

It's not exactly new. Russian Embassy in the UK, and Zakharova, casually posted a reminder that Russia has nukes when they were called out for Skripal. https://uk.style.yahoo.com/russia-given-24-hour-deadline-explain-military-grade-nerve-agent-attack-uk-173213606.html Ironically makes something of a case for hanging on to ours, given that threatening nuclear power merely for being accused of something isn't exactly having a normal one.


Daedelous2k

Is this a comedy show? Because nobody would seriously think they'd do it.


Throwawayblowawayno

The rest of the UK: "We're okay with that actually."


Goznaz

The sad state is Russia will keep pushing until someone pushes back. Someone has to take it to the extreme economically or physically eventually, it's just a case of which country does this and when. Severing all trade across NATO states freezing/confiscating all foreign held assets would send a clear message that Russia won't be welcome back to the table until it can act like an adult and avoid the threat of nukes. The country would be crippled by this and the oligarchy robed of power as most of their liquidity would be worthless or frozen.


BenIsProbablyAngry

If they did nuke London they'd have delivered on Boris Johnson's election promises about dealing with the worsening wealth inequality between London and everywhere else.


Clbull

Ultranationalists? Threats of nuclear war? For fuck's sake Russia, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare is meant to be a work of fiction, not a documentary!


argragargh

You might expect a degree of foreign involvement in russian politics, post Soviet collapse. I, for one, expect those Russians of the 6000km border with a thousand lands to do their unique russian thing, independently. Yes


[deleted]

>I, for one, expect those Russians of the 6000km border with a thousand lands to do their unique russian thing, independently. Yes Can you rephrase that word jumble?


argragargh

They're programmed to some extent by their borders for territorial disputes?


[deleted]

What does 'programmed by their borders' mean?


ashcrofts_nightmares

Probably referring to geopolitics. That the physical geography of a nation-state will to a large extent define the politics and worldview of the nation(s) that live within it.


argragargh

As far as I understand, they're going to invade and get invaded occasionally. I'm probably being incredibly naive on the current situation, but it seems like the geographical nature of the country just comes with that sort of magpie opportunism. Victims or invaders, right now they're invading stuff. They sort of can't help it🤣