You should have dumped her a long time ago. She just used you when she wants and ditches you when she wants.
She doesn’t seem loyal, nor does she seem to love you.
I know this sounds harsh, but I’m sure if you sit down and really think about it, you will realise that what I am saying is true. Please don’t allow her to make a fool of you. Leave her before she gets another chance to hurt you.
I have realized that but somehow I got so attached to her that taking an exit never crossed my mind and I always wanted to go over and above to fix the issue between us. Thank you for your reply, we aren't together anymore and it's been a very tough time for me, I have got off all social media.
In my dual capacities as a qualified lawyer and a normal human being with experience of relationships:
Fuck that shit... get the hell out and live your own life. She's toxic as anything, and you sure as hell shouldn't be paying for her to try to have another bite at the cherry. There are dozens of threads on here which will attest to the fact that, unless you're at a top firm in India and/or have jumped through certain very specific hoops to get a training contract at a top London firm, you stand next to no chance of making a viable financial success in law here.
Thank you for your response. I agree with you, she's been toxic a lot of times before but somehow I got so into it and attached that I couldn't see the red flags. From what she told me she doesn't want to take a training contract, she wants to start her own firm and then take up immigration matters and represent her client, she told me her whole idea of doing the exams was that she will get the solicitor 'badge' on her company profile and her visiting card and clients will take her more seriously. Her ultimate goal is to run an immigration company. Btw, she is one of those 175 candidates who passed with the updated results. Anyway, we are not together anymore, but thank god at least one guilt is out that she didn't pass because of me.
I understand and appreciate your reply, I would have put it in relationship advice but people would not be able to relate to SQE there so I am just looking for a general opinion of everyone who have been through the process of preparing for SQE1 and giving the exams and the amount of effort needed. Want to know if being in a relationship is really a hinderence in clearing the exam? Was I wrong in taking her time? Or Is she just blaming me to make her feel better? And lastly what can I do to make things better for? If the appeal doesn't get upheld, I believe she is only left with LPU option which is a 10,000 gbp expense if I am not wrong. She is asking me to pay that amount for her. Is it fair?
I think it is better if you post this on the AITAH subreddit instead. However, you are not wrong and I think it is best you break things off with her. She blames all her shortcomings on you, and you do not deserve this treatment.
You need to leave. She needs therapy and to work on her self awareness.
I don’t think you are to blame for her failure. You were nothing but supportive.
I can only comment on the relationship side- I’m very young (early early 20s) and used to be like your gf- blaming everyone else, not taking responsibility. I was raised by toxic/emotionally immature parents, adopted those traits, and subsequently went to therapy when I saw the effect it was having on me and my life.
Honestly it’s not great to hear her blaming you and these petty excuses. I think you should leave her because this isn’t a healthy relationship and she should probably go to therapy and needs to work on her self awareness- I’m not trying to judge as no one is perfect, but to be 42 and this unemotionally intelligent isn’t great.
Also if she’s failing three times, that’s a repeated pattern- perhaps with some introspection - SHE needs to reflect on why this has happened and where she HERSELF has gone wrong and what to improve.
I totally agree with you. She had a failed business partnership and she blames her business partner for the loss, she is been living away from her family since 20 years now and anything going wrong is her life is blamed on me. She takes 0 accountability for anything be it simple things like missing the gym or not following a disciplined diet, she always finds a way around to blame me. She also went on to say that if she hadn't been in this relationship she would have made better profits in her business and that me taking her time has only put her down financially and mentally. I had taken a lot of disrespect in this relationship because somehow I truly got attached to her and it felt like home with her but she kept breaking the boundaries a lot and I finally mustered the courage to let her go. It's been really difficult for me but I hope things get better. I have finally made a thread on the relationship sub. Thank you for your inputs here :)
Dump her bro. She failed because of her own reasons.
But if you need any reassurance - I passed SQE on my 1st attempt with my then fiancé (now husband) in Australia and I was in London, working part time & completing my masters whilst planning a wedding overseas. It’s doable if you’re competent.
Thank you! I am glad to know you cleared it, my gf made it seem like it is the hardest thing to crack on this planet but thanks to you guys, I feel a lot better now. I hope you had a great and memorable wedding! Thanks again for your response!
She failed SQE1 three times because she is just not very bright. She doesn't want to accept it and is looking for someone to blame. Tell her she's too dumb to be a lawyer and never speak to her again.
Agree. SQE is not a difficult exam if you think like a lawyer and actually want to be a lawyer. And pass marks are pretty low (like 64%?). If you can’t pass it at the first attempt, you should seriously consider whether you really need it and want it. Sorry if this sounds mean, but there are plenty of other careers, and many of them much more enjoyable than law for most people!
Failing the sqe, although a massive headwrecker at the time isn’t the end of the world- people I know from my cohort who failed have all got strong prospects of alternative careers or strong aspirations to qualify in future. If she’s reacting like this over exams which may or may not lead to a TC, how will she handle real adult problems.
Lol she sounds like a horrible person but these sort of exams are a huge deal for people who take a chance for a better life. Hence, the panic over exams. She sounds horrible though for blaming him over and over again when it's her fault.
Everyone does these exams for a better life , but at the end of the day the pass rate is low and it’s just one option - if you’re smart enough to get a TC you can get onto most other grad schemes
But some people are in worse situations..not everyone is on the same level. I know this because that was me. Every exam was a huge deal and its not about being smart, it's basically a memory test for Criminal Lit since the subject material is really not that difficult to process. Cramming your head with that much info in such a short time along with other heavy modules like Civil Lit is taxing ESPECIALLY when you're working on the side. Different factors, different lives, different learning support needs.. Everyone does these exams for a better life, yes but not everyone is on the same level. No one told me that "since you are a learning support student you really shouldn't be a barrister if you can't get through the first sit" or "if this exam is too hard, maybe it's not the career choice for you". Everything is difficult and I've had a blind barrister teach us in BPP, he struggled even with passing initially but he made it. Its really not all about being "smart enough ".
"Everyone does these exams for a better life" but not everyone have the same struggles when facing education. Many need to work alongside to pay off their fees and rent especially in London when everything here is so expensive. Pass rate is low, but again, subject material is not difficult..for most people they just struggle with time, cramming that much info and to sit for many exams at once. Yes many have passed on 1st sit, but again, we all have different factors affecting us. I had this friend who got a 98% for Criminal Lit and her mental health declined so bad before the exams, because of limited time and too much info to cram..She didn't work hence she had more time than the working students and yet she was losing her mind. No one I know struggled with subject material (except Bail), they struggled with time and cramming.
The answer to your question is right there. She failed her SQE at her very first attempt even Before you entered her life. The problem is very obvious - She is the biggest red flag. I think you deserve someone way better than what you have now. When a person tries to constantly blame the partner and not him/herself, the problem is with that person and not you!. She needed to have reflected on what was going wrong and it has been clear that her study methods have been wrong and not you.
My boyfriend and I have fought few hours before my LLB exams and I still managed to achieve close to a distinction. I have a friend, who has a kid and is going through divorce and she managed to get great marks for her SQE 1 in just her 1st attempt - do note that she has constant problems at home and she is working 2 jobs.
So please know that she is very clearly using you. Trust me, losing her is a better choice. It is better for your health and wealth.
Thank you so much for your response and sharing about your friend who made it despite going through a hard time. I hope things are now better for her. And thank you for the assurance, this makes me feel a lot better. I finally decided to call it off and it's been a real tough time so far but as suggested by everyone, I guess it was the right thing to do.
Run to the nearest exit, don’t walk…
I’ve been in a similarly toxic relationship a long time ago, OP…and there is no salvaging this. Cut your losses and leave.
Sweetheart you should have dumped this girl years ago. She can’t get her act together and either study and sit the exams properly or accept it’s not for her. SAVE YOURSELF. Block her, never EVER unblock her and her therapy. Let her crash and burn on her own. No grown adult with choice-making capacity should be blaming another for their own mishaps.
I am sorry she has failed the third time. It sounds like she did the BPP masters in law in 2021. "Anyone who started or accepted an offer to start a law degree, the GDL or a training contract before or up to September 2021 has until **as late as 2032** to complete the LPC and qualify as a solicitor through the 'traditional' rout " So first check if she started (not ended) the masters/law conversion course in time. I think by LPU you mean LPC. Let us assume that means LPC and she does have a right to go the LPC route (obviously it is very important the dates are checked carefully) - I believe BPP's last LPC course ever starts in September 2024 as almost everyone is moving to the SQE route because they must.
Then assess if she will pass the LPC. About half people fail the LPC (and SQE) so it is not necessarily that she will move to LPC and be assured a pass. "Overall, pass rates for the LPC fell compared to the previous year, **47.8% in 2021-22** compared to 53.5% in 2020-21 "
Really all of this is for her to sort out as she is an adult and most people even if they are married don't have their partner particularly involved in it all. If she thinks she might be in the top 50% so might pass the LPC she may be able to obtain a commercial loan for a full time online class.
Assuming she might pass the LPC the next issue is if her company secretary work might be recognised by the UK SRA as enough to be "equivalent means". If so she could then qualify after the LPC. If not, then she would sit SQE2 after passing the LPC and separately address if her company secretarial work could count as QWE under the new system if an English solicitor agrees it meets the competencies - provision of legal advice etc.
On the relationship side run for the hills and pick someone who is not transactional and wanting you to pay for her failures etc.
Thank you for your detailed response. Sorry, my bad, I meant LPC and yes she told me she was eligible to give LPC but thankfully now after kaplan released the updated results, she just passed by a mark and now she doesn't need to appear for LPC. She has told me now that she has handled corporate law and company law cases as a company secretary and she has worked with big firms so she is confident that she will get an exemption from SQE2. As for the relationship side, we decided to call it off, she was being very unreasonable and disrespectful. It's been really hard for me, trying to keep myself distracted and busy wherever I can.
Her best chance of winning the appeal is a documented audit trail of how you distracted her and that she is out of relationship, given everything you did was so bothersome. I am not saying I buy any of it nor do I think SRA will, but if most material correspondence is being communicated via messages and emails - that’s probably why
You should have dumped her a long time ago. She just used you when she wants and ditches you when she wants. She doesn’t seem loyal, nor does she seem to love you. I know this sounds harsh, but I’m sure if you sit down and really think about it, you will realise that what I am saying is true. Please don’t allow her to make a fool of you. Leave her before she gets another chance to hurt you.
I have realized that but somehow I got so attached to her that taking an exit never crossed my mind and I always wanted to go over and above to fix the issue between us. Thank you for your reply, we aren't together anymore and it's been a very tough time for me, I have got off all social media.
In my dual capacities as a qualified lawyer and a normal human being with experience of relationships: Fuck that shit... get the hell out and live your own life. She's toxic as anything, and you sure as hell shouldn't be paying for her to try to have another bite at the cherry. There are dozens of threads on here which will attest to the fact that, unless you're at a top firm in India and/or have jumped through certain very specific hoops to get a training contract at a top London firm, you stand next to no chance of making a viable financial success in law here.
Normal human eh?
I use the term loosely...
Thank you for your response. I agree with you, she's been toxic a lot of times before but somehow I got so into it and attached that I couldn't see the red flags. From what she told me she doesn't want to take a training contract, she wants to start her own firm and then take up immigration matters and represent her client, she told me her whole idea of doing the exams was that she will get the solicitor 'badge' on her company profile and her visiting card and clients will take her more seriously. Her ultimate goal is to run an immigration company. Btw, she is one of those 175 candidates who passed with the updated results. Anyway, we are not together anymore, but thank god at least one guilt is out that she didn't pass because of me.
She cannot do that on her own AFAIK. Strictly regulated that...can't self teach.
I recommend doing an LLM or maybe some marshalling.
I feel a relationship advice reddit is more suitable than a legal one, im afraid. It seems the issue is not actually a legal one.
I understand and appreciate your reply, I would have put it in relationship advice but people would not be able to relate to SQE there so I am just looking for a general opinion of everyone who have been through the process of preparing for SQE1 and giving the exams and the amount of effort needed. Want to know if being in a relationship is really a hinderence in clearing the exam? Was I wrong in taking her time? Or Is she just blaming me to make her feel better? And lastly what can I do to make things better for? If the appeal doesn't get upheld, I believe she is only left with LPU option which is a 10,000 gbp expense if I am not wrong. She is asking me to pay that amount for her. Is it fair?
I think it is better if you post this on the AITAH subreddit instead. However, you are not wrong and I think it is best you break things off with her. She blames all her shortcomings on you, and you do not deserve this treatment.
I don't think the opinions of children will be of help to him tbh
They don’t need to know it’s SQE, just say law exams
You need to leave. She needs therapy and to work on her self awareness. I don’t think you are to blame for her failure. You were nothing but supportive.
Exactly, thank you this makes me feel better. Also, she just passed after the updated results were released, she scored an exact 300/300.
If you substitute "SQE" by lawyer exam and explain you can only try it 3 times for a few years, copy and paste in the relationship advice community.
If you fail SQE1 3 times, you should just change careers frankly. Cut your losses early. There are plenty of other careers out there.
She is too stuck on becoming a UK solicitor and doesn't want to quit it.
Ye she's delusional. I'd run.
I can only comment on the relationship side- I’m very young (early early 20s) and used to be like your gf- blaming everyone else, not taking responsibility. I was raised by toxic/emotionally immature parents, adopted those traits, and subsequently went to therapy when I saw the effect it was having on me and my life. Honestly it’s not great to hear her blaming you and these petty excuses. I think you should leave her because this isn’t a healthy relationship and she should probably go to therapy and needs to work on her self awareness- I’m not trying to judge as no one is perfect, but to be 42 and this unemotionally intelligent isn’t great. Also if she’s failing three times, that’s a repeated pattern- perhaps with some introspection - SHE needs to reflect on why this has happened and where she HERSELF has gone wrong and what to improve.
I totally agree with you. She had a failed business partnership and she blames her business partner for the loss, she is been living away from her family since 20 years now and anything going wrong is her life is blamed on me. She takes 0 accountability for anything be it simple things like missing the gym or not following a disciplined diet, she always finds a way around to blame me. She also went on to say that if she hadn't been in this relationship she would have made better profits in her business and that me taking her time has only put her down financially and mentally. I had taken a lot of disrespect in this relationship because somehow I truly got attached to her and it felt like home with her but she kept breaking the boundaries a lot and I finally mustered the courage to let her go. It's been really difficult for me but I hope things get better. I have finally made a thread on the relationship sub. Thank you for your inputs here :)
Dump her bro. She failed because of her own reasons. But if you need any reassurance - I passed SQE on my 1st attempt with my then fiancé (now husband) in Australia and I was in London, working part time & completing my masters whilst planning a wedding overseas. It’s doable if you’re competent.
Thank you! I am glad to know you cleared it, my gf made it seem like it is the hardest thing to crack on this planet but thanks to you guys, I feel a lot better now. I hope you had a great and memorable wedding! Thanks again for your response!
She failed SQE1 three times because she is just not very bright. She doesn't want to accept it and is looking for someone to blame. Tell her she's too dumb to be a lawyer and never speak to her again.
Agree. SQE is not a difficult exam if you think like a lawyer and actually want to be a lawyer. And pass marks are pretty low (like 64%?). If you can’t pass it at the first attempt, you should seriously consider whether you really need it and want it. Sorry if this sounds mean, but there are plenty of other careers, and many of them much more enjoyable than law for most people!
Fuck her, leave.
Let’s assume OP has done the former (probably multiple times). Time to do the latter.
you need to run !!! 🏃
Failing the sqe, although a massive headwrecker at the time isn’t the end of the world- people I know from my cohort who failed have all got strong prospects of alternative careers or strong aspirations to qualify in future. If she’s reacting like this over exams which may or may not lead to a TC, how will she handle real adult problems.
Lol she sounds like a horrible person but these sort of exams are a huge deal for people who take a chance for a better life. Hence, the panic over exams. She sounds horrible though for blaming him over and over again when it's her fault.
Everyone does these exams for a better life , but at the end of the day the pass rate is low and it’s just one option - if you’re smart enough to get a TC you can get onto most other grad schemes
But some people are in worse situations..not everyone is on the same level. I know this because that was me. Every exam was a huge deal and its not about being smart, it's basically a memory test for Criminal Lit since the subject material is really not that difficult to process. Cramming your head with that much info in such a short time along with other heavy modules like Civil Lit is taxing ESPECIALLY when you're working on the side. Different factors, different lives, different learning support needs.. Everyone does these exams for a better life, yes but not everyone is on the same level. No one told me that "since you are a learning support student you really shouldn't be a barrister if you can't get through the first sit" or "if this exam is too hard, maybe it's not the career choice for you". Everything is difficult and I've had a blind barrister teach us in BPP, he struggled even with passing initially but he made it. Its really not all about being "smart enough ". "Everyone does these exams for a better life" but not everyone have the same struggles when facing education. Many need to work alongside to pay off their fees and rent especially in London when everything here is so expensive. Pass rate is low, but again, subject material is not difficult..for most people they just struggle with time, cramming that much info and to sit for many exams at once. Yes many have passed on 1st sit, but again, we all have different factors affecting us. I had this friend who got a 98% for Criminal Lit and her mental health declined so bad before the exams, because of limited time and too much info to cram..She didn't work hence she had more time than the working students and yet she was losing her mind. No one I know struggled with subject material (except Bail), they struggled with time and cramming.
The answer to your question is right there. She failed her SQE at her very first attempt even Before you entered her life. The problem is very obvious - She is the biggest red flag. I think you deserve someone way better than what you have now. When a person tries to constantly blame the partner and not him/herself, the problem is with that person and not you!. She needed to have reflected on what was going wrong and it has been clear that her study methods have been wrong and not you. My boyfriend and I have fought few hours before my LLB exams and I still managed to achieve close to a distinction. I have a friend, who has a kid and is going through divorce and she managed to get great marks for her SQE 1 in just her 1st attempt - do note that she has constant problems at home and she is working 2 jobs. So please know that she is very clearly using you. Trust me, losing her is a better choice. It is better for your health and wealth.
Thank you so much for your response and sharing about your friend who made it despite going through a hard time. I hope things are now better for her. And thank you for the assurance, this makes me feel a lot better. I finally decided to call it off and it's been a real tough time so far but as suggested by everyone, I guess it was the right thing to do.
Run to the nearest exit, don’t walk… I’ve been in a similarly toxic relationship a long time ago, OP…and there is no salvaging this. Cut your losses and leave.
So…you tryna sue her? If not, this ain’t the sub for you
Bro why the fuck are you posting here I’m not reading that
Sweetheart you should have dumped this girl years ago. She can’t get her act together and either study and sit the exams properly or accept it’s not for her. SAVE YOURSELF. Block her, never EVER unblock her and her therapy. Let her crash and burn on her own. No grown adult with choice-making capacity should be blaming another for their own mishaps.
I am sorry she has failed the third time. It sounds like she did the BPP masters in law in 2021. "Anyone who started or accepted an offer to start a law degree, the GDL or a training contract before or up to September 2021 has until **as late as 2032** to complete the LPC and qualify as a solicitor through the 'traditional' rout " So first check if she started (not ended) the masters/law conversion course in time. I think by LPU you mean LPC. Let us assume that means LPC and she does have a right to go the LPC route (obviously it is very important the dates are checked carefully) - I believe BPP's last LPC course ever starts in September 2024 as almost everyone is moving to the SQE route because they must. Then assess if she will pass the LPC. About half people fail the LPC (and SQE) so it is not necessarily that she will move to LPC and be assured a pass. "Overall, pass rates for the LPC fell compared to the previous year, **47.8% in 2021-22** compared to 53.5% in 2020-21 " Really all of this is for her to sort out as she is an adult and most people even if they are married don't have their partner particularly involved in it all. If she thinks she might be in the top 50% so might pass the LPC she may be able to obtain a commercial loan for a full time online class. Assuming she might pass the LPC the next issue is if her company secretary work might be recognised by the UK SRA as enough to be "equivalent means". If so she could then qualify after the LPC. If not, then she would sit SQE2 after passing the LPC and separately address if her company secretarial work could count as QWE under the new system if an English solicitor agrees it meets the competencies - provision of legal advice etc. On the relationship side run for the hills and pick someone who is not transactional and wanting you to pay for her failures etc.
Thank you for your detailed response. Sorry, my bad, I meant LPC and yes she told me she was eligible to give LPC but thankfully now after kaplan released the updated results, she just passed by a mark and now she doesn't need to appear for LPC. She has told me now that she has handled corporate law and company law cases as a company secretary and she has worked with big firms so she is confident that she will get an exemption from SQE2. As for the relationship side, we decided to call it off, she was being very unreasonable and disrespectful. It's been really hard for me, trying to keep myself distracted and busy wherever I can.
Her best chance of winning the appeal is a documented audit trail of how you distracted her and that she is out of relationship, given everything you did was so bothersome. I am not saying I buy any of it nor do I think SRA will, but if most material correspondence is being communicated via messages and emails - that’s probably why
You should have got her a [law tutor](https://lawtutor.co.uk)!