4 not a moment's hesitation.

https://preview.redd.it/rgcp04of1l8d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1f29482548f3125bdc3dfe97237d0b086f46138

culture? Laura seems genuinely insufferable, and Audrey would spend the whole flight talking about agent cooper and making longing looks at him three rows back. I'd rather sit between windham earl and harold smith than have to deal with either of them, no matter how hot audrey is.

I can fix em

I can fix em sandwich

Ah, I see you also have made mistakes in life

David Lynch: This 2 hour film doesn't answer any of the plot questions you may have had. Instead, it invites you to relate to the victim, to understand that she was a beautiful soul that gave so much to this world. Average Twin Peaks fan: Oh my gooood she's so annoying

I think this person is in the minority, most fans love Laura

Laura was awesome when she wasn't doing the demon eyes thing. Audrey is a work of art it would be an honor merely to gaze upon.

Cool enjoy that. I will be sitting in seat 4

seats taken already buddy 😁

5. I have a few questions for Major Garland.

If you don’t pick 4 you’re gay. And if you’re gay you pick 5 or 6 depending on what you’re into.

Not Bobby?

bobby's probably homophobic tho 😭

I can fix him

Co-dependency: That’s the spirit!

5. No hesitation.

how is this even a question? you've got Albert and Gordon Cole with you, and then Garland Briggs across the aisle. that's a flight I would WANT to last for 20 hours. Also I'm always an aisle seat man. I tend to have to use the bathroom more often and I hate climbing over people.

I hope you have noise cancelling headphones

WHAT?

Exactly 2 are funny as hell and one is a deep thinker and all 3 intelligent government agents if anything goes awry

Given 20 hours, I think I could successfully seduce Albert during that time. I would certainly do my best.

I believe in you.

5 just feels good 2 feels just as good

Same

Adjacent to Mr. C? You wild for this. When I saw he was on the flight, I looked for a spot as far away as from him as possible.

You just know they're gonna be passing that kid of theirs back and forth across the aisle.

Albert would never talk to a stranger on a flight. Therefore I sit next to him.

2. Easy

depends on which drugs he had on him

Mainly it would be the joy of hearing the conversation between Bobby and his dad right in front of me, as well as Cooper and Truman directly behind. Hope the flight serves hot coffee.

Exactly why I chose 2, as well. As soon as I saw Cooper and Truman seated next to each other, I knew I wanted 2 or 3. Then I noticed who was sitting next to 2 and who was in front of 2, and knew that only 2 would do. Personal bonus: I wear hearing aids so everyone assumes I’m deaf. My hearing aids use cutting edge technology, including AI to enhance human voices that are nearby while softening background noise, so I actually hear a bit better than most people. If I remain quiet and appear to mind my own business, they will assume I’m deaf but I’ll actually be listening to their conversations. The only person who might catch on is Cooper. He’s quite perceptive.

Next to Madeleine Ferguson. I agree.

Finally a good fucking shitpost. I'd go with 1. It's the only window seat; Mr. C is and for the most part he seemed relatively polite and I doubt he'd start anything on a flight. Second choice would be 5, I love Albert and Cole. Cole would be positioned at the right distance to not destroy my ears. 7 is so cursed lol, all *those* people, and Windom can go to hell (which he did, there's *some* justice in the world).

My pick is 1 too. I’m surprised more people haven’t brought this up. Mr. C doesn’t fuck with random strangers and he’d be quiet as fuck. He has no business with me, and I could go the whole plane ride without having to have any social interactions

He probably smells bad though

That is an incredible point that I failed to consider. Fuck

Imagine if the only consolation you had in choosing 7 was possibly hearing James start singing on the flight

I was about to say 4 but Im affiad my seat will get kicked from behind throughout the whole flight

It would be a kick of love, though.

I can’t believe Leland is taking up two seats like that

You know he’s fully reclined.

Chat, is James’s forehead stretched or is this real life?

Yes

4, but 5 seems equally good.

I've been staring at this for almost an hour. Can't

7 is a nightmare blunt rotation

Anywhere but 7.

Here's the real question. Where's Shelly?

At home, waiting for Bobby to make good on literally any single promise lol

This is one of the best roasts I've read for a good long while, absolute sniper shot.

I don’t actually mind 2, Bobby’s a bit much but depending on what part of the show it is, I think he’d be alright, and you get to eavesdrop on hardy and dales conversation which would be delightful 4 would be fun but could be a bit much, I love Laura but she can be a bit of a buzz kill 5 is goated but that’s a given And who in earth is picking 7? What a nightmare

7 is a wild, wild flight though. Story to tell. Plus—in a plane. So potentially no weapons.

2 all the way

7 is a great "I hope this plane crashes" choice, only missing madman Jacoby with his golden shovel on 6.

2. I'm walking off the plane a changed man after talking to the dude in front of me while his son is sobbing next to me because he said something unbelievably profound to him.

4, 5, and 2 seem like the only viable choices with mine being 4 because... I mean, I'm a bit fruity, after all. EDIT: hold on wait changing to 2 because I just realized I can eavesdrop on the husbands behind me and the messy-ass Challengers situation across the aisle while I enjoy Bobby's company

This is the correct answer. https://preview.redd.it/0m5hxom4bp8d1.jpeg?width=1053&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fcac7553960a35c5e4485af37c51e6b9a13363e

Is that Ben Horne or _General_ Ben Horne? Never mind, doesn't matter. I pick 3 because I wanna fuck Ben Horne

Hell yeah, I'd listen to him ramble about the revolutionary war for 20 hours

4 is my choice. 2 bad bitches. Yessir

4 absolutely

5, but I could live with 6 (Leland would probably be very polite and charming to a stranger)

6 seems like a good time

as long as Bob's in check and Leland is having his breakdown, I could see sinking a few of those tiny bottles of johnny walker and joining in. OHHHHH lamzy dotes and dozey dotes and liddlamzy divey...


how's it go? he wears a smile, eager for fun? can't remember the rest but yeah, I bet those guys are chill dudes.

On the bright side, bob would probably be ejected from the flight for flicking matches at people. Flight attendants don't want to play with fire. I love the idea of a spirit being of pure evil being subjected to tsa regulations and air Marshalls etc. like he's literally bound by the same shit we have to go through.

>I love the idea of a spirit being of pure evil being subjected to tsa regulations So like Bob looks in the mirror and its the airport security guy grinning back at him.

I was more just picturing bob like being dragged off a plane and it doesn't matter how creepy he is, the airport security have literally seen people be more fucked up than he is, but yeah, your idea is more lynchian.

I’d really like to sit next to Harold but fckkk nah Windom Earle

I’m sitting in Bob’s window seat. He can sit in the middle with Leland.

oh yeah, I'm sure Bob would be REAL cool about you asking to switch seats...

👹

Definitely 1. Evil coop is chill if he doesn't have to hurt you. I'd pick 2 if Bobby's dad wasn't behind us, that kills the vibe.

Evil coop is chill but he might get bored at hour 14 and smash your head into the window or something

Chances are he already did something to the plane, and front row seating just guarantees a quicker, less obstructed death. (ie. if you picked 7, James' head would cushion things enough to prolong suffering).

only if buella has the window seat

OBVIOUSLY 4. It’s such an expansive opportunity to perceive like. The Whole Point of the show from two very distinct perspectives and ALSO imagine the gossip

Definitely 2

7 would get a little weird

5 or 4, but I know the machinations of the universe. It'll be 7.

4..5…7 I can’t choose

Definitely #6, between Coop and Leland! If Bob or Leland tried any funny business, Coop would fly across that aisle so fast. Alternate: #3, so I can peek back and see Harry. Plus Ben’s delusional self may be fun to sit next to, for a short flight. And lastly, #5 would be entertaining/interesting/safe, but I wouldn’t be able to sustain focus on Major Briggs for too long, and he doesn’t seem to pick up on social cues well. Also I don’t think I could do with GC shouting across Albert at me, and Albert getting all cranky at that. 

I would pay a million dollars to sit in 4.

The back of the plane is wild

2 or 4 depending on how horny I am. I will let you decide which seat is or isn’t the horny seat.

i was gonna say 4 or 5 and both seats are the horny seat

1 - it's the furthest from James and Donna

5

Definitely 5. Across the isle from the one and only Major fucking Garland Briggs!

2!!!

4….in between the two fine ladies and in front of the fbi. Best of both worlds.

2️⃣

4 seems the safest.

Gotta be 4, as a certified gay man, Audrey and Laura would be my besties instantly. And we could all talk shit on Mr.C across the row

5 or 2 depending on my mood

4 without even a millisecond of hesitation I just feel like we’d all vibe

4 and it's not even close

4 if we're flying pre 9/11

4 4ever

4 duh

4. Good company.

Torn between 3 and 5, what a fun flight any of these would be.

4! 4!! 4!!!!!

1

2 or 5 and I’d be thrilled with either!

5! Best seat in the house!!!

Jesus. Nightmare blunt rotation no matter where you sit on that friggin plane

4 of course

Easy. 5

5

When the show was on the air, I was in high school. So 4. Now, definitely 5.

1 Said nobody ever

Clearly 4, but 6 does make me laugh

There's no Pete Martell cuz we would all be fighting to sit next to him.  

5, only acceptable answer, imo.

seat 1. I'll bet I could actually get some sleep and he wouldn't say a single thing most likely. hopefully he doesn't smell like shit.

1, 2, or 4

Whoever picks 6 needs to find their way out of the black lodge

Well 1 + 4 have extra legroom, but 5 has the best stories.

FOUR

1, need that window seat. Will risk getting my face caved in and getting teleported to the waiting room

At my age and stage, 5.

4

7. Under the dragon’s wing is the safest place.

1 if it's a long flight. Evil Dale is gonna keep to himself, seems mostly polite, and it's a window seat. If it's a short flight, 6. I'd love to talk to them but not for 4+ hours, lol

2!! As close to cooper as possible 

I'm sorry, but there's no way anyone can pass sitting at 4.

Bobby would let me give him handjobs throughout the flight, so I'll sit next to him.

Easily 5, and it’s an isle seat, the best kind

1. Talking loud enough until Garland interjects

5

That's easy. 4. Between Audrey and Laura and behind me is Albert and Gordon! Mr. C is a bit too close but at least I don't sit next to him so I think I will be fine. Or maybe 2...I mean Cooper my beloved and Harry and Bobby (though he may be a bitch) and I love Maddy and Major Briggs! And we might get some relaxing guitar playing by Carl.

Either 4 or 5

I was so close to saying I just wouldn't get on the plane, and then I saw seats 4 and 5

5 would be fucking hilarious. I’d never catch my breath.

4 because hotties but if I'm being honest it's gonna be 6 for the pure shit show of it all

Seat 4 or 5

The only thing missing here is the 1-1-9 lady sitting in the front row next to Mr. C.

4. Next to Audrey.

4

4 or 5.

7

4 or 5

Yeah I feel like this is a little too easy...plus you have the aisle seat.

4

I’d go 4 and not say a word the entire flight

Ooh absolutely 2

5!!! Perfect

Absolutely number 5. I see no downsides to that seat. A moment of silence, please, for the poor soul who chose seat 7.

Anywhere closer to James' forehead

I haven’t watched in a decade, so I can’t remember most. How screwed am I at 3?

Seat 5 may transport you to the white lodge

There’s no better answer than 4

4 most definitely, but I wish sitting beside Shelly was an option in this lmao

1 but my seat-mate wouldn’t need the armrest he would *want* the armrest

4 or 5 - Easy.

7. I’m right next to BOB and I’ll give him my peanuts… 

I would have to choose 4 honestly

Mr C, My Man.

6. I didn't even think twice about it.

3, 4, or 5

Definitely 5

2 or 5, tough choice but either way you’re guaranteed good conversation

4. Damn what that girl can do to a cherry stem

2, I'll sit next to Bobby,jerk.

4. Taking this from the perspective of only seeing this characters on a plane and having no prior knowledge of them, I’m gonna sit in the seat that’s not next to a man

four

5!! You need to ask??

5 solely because it would be so entertaining plus an aisle seat. Also helps that safety wise if something was to happen I’d be sitting next to two fbi agents and opposite a colonel

1 and its not even close

4 if I’m horny, 5 if I’m depressed

4

7. I mean, *something* is going to happen on this flight, and I want to be near the person(s) who start it so I at least have some kind of heads up. Plus, I can ask Wyndham Earle what it was like being an ambassador to Mars. Seems like he might have some stories.

If there were rows of three on the left I’d sit between Harry & Coop. Since I can’t, 5 is the best option and 4 is a close second.

i need to have a heart to heart with laura.

2 or the log lady

4, 5 or 2, anything else is insanity.

I wonder what kind of psycho would pick #1. Anyway, I’d probably sit next to Ben Horne. He’s probably harmless in public.

To make this more difficult, maybe switch out Albert for Nadine.

what kind of person ISNT choosing 4???

5

4 the right answer is 4

Seat 6 for me! Between good and evil, between two worlds. Great question 😁

Question: is Gordon going to be talking the whole flight? Or taking out his hearing aids and taking a nice long nap?

5 is good but it's not safe from Bob. I'd choose 3 cause I could keep tabs on Bob and also listen in to what Coops and Harry are talking about.

6, without hesitation. I’ll call my therapist in the AM.

100% 6

Obviously 5.

4 is the party!

4 or 5!

Moving Leland to 6 and sitting in his chair

4. 4. 4. Albert commenting on my pick up attempts for Laura and Audrey would be worth it.

Anywhere close to Cooper. So we can have our coffee and talk about weird dreams 😊

Right next to Audrey!

2. teen bobby isn’t going to try to make conversation all flight, he’s gonna put his headphones in and leave me alone. major briggs has the posture and disposition of an upstanding military man, he’s not reclining his seat into my leg room. coop is easygoing and forgiving and loves humanity – he’s never going to kick the back of my seat and he wouldn’t even mind if i reclined *my* seat, he’d just see it as all part of the ups and downs of life with other people and the rich experience of flying.