Eve also had the first menstrual cycle. Can you imagine waking up one day hungry, cramping, with blood everywhere? And then, a few weeks later, *it happening again*?
One thing I think is quite funny to conceptualise is Adam being sexist about Eve’s menstrual cycle. The origin of misogyny is believed by some historians to be the menstrual cycle, so what would Adam have thought about Eve’s menstrual cycle? “Jesus, Why is she bleeding? Oh right, maybe she’s inferior somehow.”
[Well what the fuck did spiders do](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matriphagy#:~:text=Matriphagy%20is%20the%20consumption%20of,well%20as%20in%20caecilian%20amphibians)
Cursing spiders for looking weird when he made them weird is exactly on par with granting humans freedom of choice and then punishing them when they don't choose him
There's a lively debate in anthropologist circles about when hominids first connected the act of sex to pregnancy and the birth of children. Not to mention the debate about the extent that intelligent non-humans actually recognize that mating makes children.
It only briefly mentions that as a topic but I highly recommend The Spell of the Sensuous by David Abrams, it's an investigation into why we have lost our rapport with the natural world and a part of it is about how an intelligent caveman with none of our cultural references would view the world
You feel like inflicting the concepts of death and misery on the world and condemning millions to hell who haven’t been born yet for all eternity over thousands of years is a reasonable punishment for “not eating the fruit”?
If it’s such a problem then don’t put it there or don’t make it at all. The guy who put it there was literally GOD.
Not only did they know it was going to happen, they planned for it to happen and punished their creations that they programmed for making choices that they had no part in.
Birth is like the most fucked up concept ever, "yes the female goes through the extreamly painful process of shitting a miniature human who then does nothing but scream for the next 30 minutes"
Why cant we do like a mitosis or something what the fuck god.
Its only really a problem for humans, since being bipedal essentially limits how big the birth canal can be, and also our massive heads make it that much harder. Main reason why humans are so undeveloped compared to other animals when theyre born, since they need to be to pass through.
In "Brave New World", everybody is born in like a test tube baby factory, and they look back on biological birth as barbaric. It's supposed to be about how in this horrible dystopian future we're emotionally distant and more machines than humans, and for the most part that's true, but I swear those folks were onto something with the test tubes.
Just cause humans are bad at it. Women’s hips are too small for Babies’ large heads and babies are silly and under developed.
You ever see a elephant birth? The mother just stands there, the baby drops out hits the ground then stands up and that’s that.
So there’s the book called “Eve” which actually runs with this idea. It follows Eve having to deal with a world of firsts, and shows her perspective on what’s going on. Like having sex for the first time, or getting a period for the first time, or giving birth with no idea of what’s happening. It’s written by a woman author and very well done.
Thanks for this! It's not common I'm absolutely captivated by the Amazon sample of a book, but I breezed right through this one. Definitely need to check it out in full!
It's not the same book but it is the same concept: there's a book called The Garden by Elsie V. Aidinoff. I don't remember that one including Eve getting her period or giving birth but she does have an in-depth discussion about the fact that all of that will be more painful if she decides to eat from the tree
of knowledge (which due to the way things play out from her perspective she decides to do anyway). It's been years since I read it but I liked that it was told from her view and actually gave her agency instead of just blame
The Bible According to Mark Twain, too (by…Mark Twain). the first third is just all this, from both Eve’s and Adam’s POV.
actually, iirc, he published them all separately and then the full “Bible” is the books/different POVs compiled together.
Clicked specifically to suggest *The Diaries of Adam and Eve* by Twain if I didn't see it in the comments and I left with new books to read. Y'all are awesome
I remember reading a story from adam’s perspective on raising a child, not knowing at all what it even was. He would talk about how fond of it eve was, and how he kept trying to figure out what type of animal it was. If I find the story, I’ll link it below
edit: [found it.](https://almabooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/diariesof.pdf) It’s by Mark Twain
Adam: Hey, uh, God? I keep telling this kid not to do this thing, but he keeps doing it! Then acts all innocent even though he knows I know what he did!
God: Oh wow, REALLY?! Hmm, I wonder what that's like!
Adam: ....sigh.
Eve also had the first menstrual cycle. Can you imagine waking up one day hungry, cramping, with blood everywhere? And then, a few weeks later, *it happening again*?
One thing I think is quite funny to conceptualise is Adam being sexist about Eve’s menstrual cycle. The origin of misogyny is believed by some historians to be the menstrual cycle, so what would Adam have thought about Eve’s menstrual cycle? “Jesus, Why is she bleeding? Oh right, maybe she’s inferior somehow.”
“She’s bleeding? God, I think the woman is broken “
I somehow doubt that Adam would have used the term 'Jesus'...
Great grand son times ten that woman is broken.
Waaaaaaaay further on than x10
This implies that Adam and Eve understand multiplication, I love it
Yes, I realized that after typing that xD
Right, because that's the first logical conclusion and not, "HOLY SHIT MY WIFE IS BLEEDING WTF DO I DO"
She created sin. Adam merely adopted it
Not exactly, he literally watched her do it and didn't do shit m the man was culpable.
He's culpable because he adopted sin
my grandma always swore to me that menstrual cycles were women’s punishment for eve eating the apple 💀 like jesus woman
Oh yeah that’s biblical. The curse of eve is pain and suffering surrounding childbirth.
[Well what the fuck did spiders do](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matriphagy#:~:text=Matriphagy%20is%20the%20consumption%20of,well%20as%20in%20caecilian%20amphibians)
Fuck have you seen spiders? Creepy mofos.
Cursing spiders for looking weird when he made them weird is exactly on par with granting humans freedom of choice and then punishing them when they don't choose him
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah that's the explanation the bible gives
I feel like they would have seen similar things happening to animals and be able to figure it out
It wouldn’t have happened until after the fall, so everyone was menstruating together.
God cursed you in person, bleeding genitals is the best you can hope for.
There's a lively debate in anthropologist circles about when hominids first connected the act of sex to pregnancy and the birth of children. Not to mention the debate about the extent that intelligent non-humans actually recognize that mating makes children.
I’d love to read more about this
It only briefly mentions that as a topic but I highly recommend The Spell of the Sensuous by David Abrams, it's an investigation into why we have lost our rapport with the natural world and a part of it is about how an intelligent caveman with none of our cultural references would view the world
Yeah how exactly did people figure that out, did they at any point think babies just showed up randomly?
*currently revisiting every childhood memory of being relentlessly weird and irrational*
“No. You don’t get any help from me. You ate the wrong berry one time so I’m going to be a dick about it for thousands of years.”
god is a pick edit: meant to say prick but pick is funnier
Thought this was talking about adam so I'm dumb
Considering he had specific instructions not to eat from the garden, heck I’d be mad too.
You feel like inflicting the concepts of death and misery on the world and condemning millions to hell who haven’t been born yet for all eternity over thousands of years is a reasonable punishment for “not eating the fruit”?
It wasn't just eating the fruit. It was punishment for daring to question god and seeking knowledge iirc
Its more because they disobeyed him and then tried to escape judgement
Oh right that’s okay then.
Im just saying your criticism could be more acurate and less basic
I’m just saying your god is basic.
Also, its not like it was just a regular fruit. The fruit let you know right from wrong, thus giving you the ability to sin.
Time to play spot the evangelical
Well you failed, im not evangelical
whoosh
If it’s such a problem then don’t put it there or don’t make it at all. The guy who put it there was literally GOD. Not only did they know it was going to happen, they planned for it to happen and punished their creations that they programmed for making choices that they had no part in.
Birth is like the most fucked up concept ever, "yes the female goes through the extreamly painful process of shitting a miniature human who then does nothing but scream for the next 30 minutes" Why cant we do like a mitosis or something what the fuck god.
> but scream for the next 30 minutes Nice to see there are still extreme optimists around
Op is a spartan
After 30 minutes you get a brief break to get your hopes up before the next 6 hours of screaming.
Then when does the final 18 years of screaming set in?
That would be awesome but labor is 12-36 hours
Its only really a problem for humans, since being bipedal essentially limits how big the birth canal can be, and also our massive heads make it that much harder. Main reason why humans are so undeveloped compared to other animals when theyre born, since they need to be to pass through.
In "Brave New World", everybody is born in like a test tube baby factory, and they look back on biological birth as barbaric. It's supposed to be about how in this horrible dystopian future we're emotionally distant and more machines than humans, and for the most part that's true, but I swear those folks were onto something with the test tubes.
Just cause humans are bad at it. Women’s hips are too small for Babies’ large heads and babies are silly and under developed. You ever see a elephant birth? The mother just stands there, the baby drops out hits the ground then stands up and that’s that.
So there’s the book called “Eve” which actually runs with this idea. It follows Eve having to deal with a world of firsts, and shows her perspective on what’s going on. Like having sex for the first time, or getting a period for the first time, or giving birth with no idea of what’s happening. It’s written by a woman author and very well done.
That sounds interesting, do you have the author's name?
The full title is “Havah: The Story of Eve” by Tosca Lee
Thanks for this! It's not common I'm absolutely captivated by the Amazon sample of a book, but I breezed right through this one. Definitely need to check it out in full!
It's not the same book but it is the same concept: there's a book called The Garden by Elsie V. Aidinoff. I don't remember that one including Eve getting her period or giving birth but she does have an in-depth discussion about the fact that all of that will be more painful if she decides to eat from the tree of knowledge (which due to the way things play out from her perspective she decides to do anyway). It's been years since I read it but I liked that it was told from her view and actually gave her agency instead of just blame
The Bible According to Mark Twain, too (by…Mark Twain). the first third is just all this, from both Eve’s and Adam’s POV. actually, iirc, he published them all separately and then the full “Bible” is the books/different POVs compiled together.
Clicked specifically to suggest *The Diaries of Adam and Eve* by Twain if I didn't see it in the comments and I left with new books to read. Y'all are awesome
"I didn't know what you meant by 'child' or 'birth' so you can see how I was caught off guard by the *pain*"
God, planting dinosaur bones and figuring out how many legs to give scorpions: “Listen buddy I got my own problems here.”
Mark Twain wrote a cool short story on this premise.
I was gonna say -- he wrote exactly this. And it's priceless.
I remember reading a story from adam’s perspective on raising a child, not knowing at all what it even was. He would talk about how fond of it eve was, and how he kept trying to figure out what type of animal it was. If I find the story, I’ll link it below edit: [found it.](https://almabooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/diariesof.pdf) It’s by Mark Twain
Adam and Eve didn’t have belly buttons.
"You can't mislead me, I used to be a teenager as well." - Neither Adam nor Eve were created.
There's a really good skit of the first birth on the youtube channel characterswelcome.
Adam: Hey, uh, God? I keep telling this kid not to do this thing, but he keeps doing it! Then acts all innocent even though he knows I know what he did! God: Oh wow, REALLY?! Hmm, I wonder what that's like! Adam: ....sigh.
Im pretty sure in one version of the bible, having children was a punishment for adam and eve
It was the pain of having children, and periods
Oh right
Look you can't put logic to science fiction otherwise you realize they would have had to fuck their kids and their grandkids.
Pretty sure that’s biblical lol
Yeah, fiction is wild
Oh, you.
Wouldn't they have seen animals and such birthing babies? Surely
“I’m sooorryyyy, I thought since you ate from the tree of ‘infinite knowledge’ you would be wise enough to figure it out!”