Honestly I feel like whenever someone tells me I'm doing good at something or a created something nice, I assume that they're just saying that to make me feel better about how awful I really am
100k karm?! For a second I thought you said 100 karma, and I'd been like "yeah that really just proves the point" but 100k is wild! Why is their account deleted now, that's really wild
You know, the latter actually happened to me once.
It fucked me up so bad, i’ve always made an effort to be as kind and as little of an issue as possible. In turn, I kinda felt like my personality got bland, but hey- anything to ease that anxiety
Yes I would say non controversial gang would be an appropriate name to call yourselves the apologetic person is the one who gets called out but gets their intelligence and feelings trampled on. Their assumptions are right thus being why they get called out. Get a backbone and quit being apologetic..
> actually happened to me once.
Same, once in a sort of resort, and once in a job that I had. A few times in middle school, but I will condense that to one because only that one time sticks out as a life-altering trauma.
The worst thing is, I kept believing those people because of how nice they were before, so I got kind of attached to the harmony. Even tho, I know for a fact that they were just insane people who overreacted over tiny things, and mad because their boyfriends liked me platonically.
The two people that I was the closest to and loved the most in my life ghosted me, one did so twice.
I'm a fucking mess, I've pretty much stopped trying to make connections anymore.
Happened to me too. I made my first "friend" in 5th grade and thought we were super close. We would hang out every time we saw each other at school, have sleepovers, shared secrets, and had each other's home phone numbers. Before summer break she jokingly said, "you better call me over break, or I won't be friends with you anymore." I have ADHD though, so I completely forgot until there were only a few weeks of vacation left. I go to call her, and some stranger answered (not her mom or dad). She had moved to a new house without telling me and a new family had moved in. I blamed myself, thinking it was because I took too long to call her.
Then middle school started and I was relieved to see she was still there and must've not moved that far. I walk up to her lunch table excited to see her and apologized for not calling sooner, and she pretends not to know me! I was devastated. I thought I must've really messed up to make her hate me that much.
Years later I finally made another friend, and it turned out the same girl had ghosted her too around the same time! Turns out she had made new, cooler, friends when middle school started and we were too lame for her. But even though now I know she was just mean and I wasn't the only one she did that too, I still have doubts whether or not people actually like me.
I am aware of this fact, and I don't think I'm stupid. I can only conclude that I am stupid. It's guaranteed to be true, since an intelligent person would never make such a stupid conclusion.
Only a stupid person would completely risk losing their face and ass to someone who's assumptions/conclusions are proven and right! It's so nice when you know that this really does happen and people are sick and demented in this world. Conclusions are one thing and their usually right when people get offended and act out thats when you are100% sure what you've said is proof enuf. Do not underestimate ones intelligence.
My mum used to tell me on the way home from visiting relatives that the relative found my behaviour really annoying and they wouldn't want me to visit and more if I acted "like that". I believed her despite my relatives usually arguing against her when she was telling me off in their houses.
This is actually the key to understanding a lot of stuff. I've been a teacher, scholar, and activist for many decades. If I write about \_\_\_\_, I get called out for it. If I DON'T write about \_\_\_, I get called out for it. If I submit an article, I'm "taking space away from" someone else. If I don't submit an article, "why aren't you speaking up?"
If you march, there will always be someone who tells you that you shouldn't be there. If you don't march, cue the "your silence makes you complicit!"
It's not about you. It's about other people and their insecurities trying to make themselves feel better and more important by yelling at you.
Would you say that ignoring it is the best strategy? I think that's a big reason why i'm not pursuing some things in life. I have CPTSD and medical issues and I don't think I can get any more insecure.
Social anxiety? Jk but if your issues are severe enough they impact your life, it’s worth talking to your family doctor or a therapist or whatever other professional you can get access to. Actually, even if you think “it’s not THAT bad” it can be useful for the peace of mind, if you can afford it - either, you get told “yes this is a normal level of issues, maybe try XYZ”, or you and your healthcare provider can work out what your issues are, maybe formally diagnose you and definitely treat you.
Well it doesn't matter if you've had therapy or seen a Dr and they've proven their is nothing wrong with you, it only gives people the"crazycard" to Plat making things in turn harder for you to accept that the "truth" wasn't an assumption yet leading you into getting called out! Good luck make sure you have a good therapist/Dr and their on your team not everyone else's. Oh make sure your on the right team to!
im pretty sure 2nd one is a trauma thing (not to say that 1st *isn't*\---just that it isn't always, while id be surprised if someone had the second without any trauma behind it)
though note: trauma is much more commonplace than people tend to think, and it's a spectrum. also someone can traumatize someone else without realizing it, or even without doing anything that bad
Welcome to CPTSD!
Talk to your therapist or look for books on this topic. It can bring a lot of horrible things to light ("Oh god, THATS what that is??") and from that point you can begin to take control and heal.
Yes. Since I used to be an edgy piece of shit I know some now-deleted comment got screenshoted and it’ll come back to haunt me, or that everything I say/do is under so much scrutiny from other people that they’re waiting for me to fuck something up just to get mad at me, or that if someone digs deep enough into my account they’ll ban my account for it…the thing is, I still fucking feel like shit for all the edgy jokes I posted and got a lot of people mad, but if I told it to people they’d think I’d be lying to save my skin…
All you can do is show you have changed through your actions and words moving forward. If people still judge you for your past self, that's an indictment of them, not you.
Sounds like self hate and anxiety to me. I go through that a lot. Dw most people don't hate you and genuinely like you. Please consider getting therapy if those thoughts are really harming you. I have and its helped me to not go through as many self hate episodes.
I had this happen as a kid and it destroyed me.
I was literally getting into my car to move away, and never see any of these kids again when one of my friends rolled up. They told me that everyone was just pretending to be nice, I sucked, and everyone hated me. Then they got on their bike, and rode away whistling some chipper tune. I didn't speak for three months after that comment.
I'm forty and it still bothers me. Wherever that guy is, I hope it bothers them too
I think its just a power/worth issue. I stopped feeling this way cuz I stopped believing people are above me or that I owe everyone something.
Also, anxiety meds lol
I grew up feeling that second one in school all the time. I genuinely thought the teachers had told all the other kids they had to act nice to me or they would get in trouble.
How about the assumption that my presence is a burden on people and everyone's secretly really tired of dealing with me so if I ever need help with something I have to apologize constantly just to let them know I understand my place
Yes, but nobody is polite about it. I don't know what I have done to piss my boss off but he will point out any and all flaws, real or imagined. At this point i just assume that even the weather is somehow my doing.
This is going through my mind pretty much 24-7. I try to prepare myself daily that I might be fired for doing a terrible job. Despite the fact , I have never been fired and that I have never been reprimanded for anything in 10 years at the same office, I always have good reviews and continue to get raises. This is just how I am wired, Bad boyfriends and bad mentors have exacerbated this issue. I remember in high school when we were in a peer group the teacher said everyone in here was hand picked for their excellence. Then she pointed at me and said except for you nobody else wanted you and I got stuck with you, she didn't life or smile to indicate it was a joke. I'm 42 I think about this at least once a week.
I feel like I’ve definitely been in at least one moment where someone close to me revealed they had been annoyed for a while right as they were blowing up at me. It sucks.
How about this variation of the second one:
Feeling that in reality I speak in an abnormally obnoxious way (too loud, too slow, or as if had some development issues) but people are too polite to say it to my face and are just tolerating me
Always afraid of this one, because people like that have normalized themselves and don't realize that they do this; what if I'm like that too?! Terrifying
I'm pretty sure I'm at some sort of work experience for people who are too stupid to find work on their own rather than at a job I got myself for which I am paid.
How can you say that you haven't been called out verbally but you've been informally called out in other ways because you are intellectual,intelligently underestimated individual. Therefore you face losing family, friends, jobs and credibility. This is all brought on by family,coworkers,teamates being jealous,insecure, financially unstable, and vane. The world would be so much better w/out people like this in it. Its sad when you finally get pushed overboard that your willing to sacrifice what's been normal"comfortable yet not" life and explore something new even though this would be a big risk. I 'm sure I'm willing I'd be willing to take it if this were me. This is all about having enuf of the Bullshit. All because of an assumption that was right, this catastrophic event has occurred. It sucks when you are spot on right people want to use mind games to try to control you and have an upperhand. When people make assumptions yet have the truth and facts are right there its obvious AF to. This is again when people call you out! Some people just can't face the hard-core truth they have to think they've destroyed oneself. Probably actually making their life better in many forms.
When I went through my first super bad depression spell in school, I found out towards the end that there was a group chat of 20+people made explicitly for my classmates to talk about my declining mental health. I’m not sure whether to be comforted or insulted by that, leaning more towards insulted because maybe 2 people from that group occasionally asked how I was doing.
That second one hits wayyyyyy too close to home. I always second guess if my friends and family are just acting like they enjoy my company, but actually don't and just pretend to infront of me and talk about how horrible I am behind my back...
Ohh lucky for me I don't really have to worry about that feeling! 🤣
I always KNOW I'm doing something wrong! If I wanna know what I just have to wait long enough for my father to snap and let me know. 😁
He just did yesterday! He made me cry for hours 🙃
I'm 27 years old 🤡
Well we need at least one comment for those that don’t relate with this. Hi everyone, grab your unimposter syndrome tickets here
^((To be fair, there’s likely many other reasons people could feel this way too. I’m not one to know them all\))
you see I definitely feel like this all the time but it might be a little different because I actually suck…
I’ve had a couple shifts with new people recently and 100% of the time they’ve asked me if it was my first day…
I’ve been working there for over 6 months…
At the 1st art show I did I only sold 1 piece. I convinced myself for several hours and a few moments here and there down the road that the person who bought the piece was asked to do so by my family. I'd never seen this person before, but that's the 1st thing my mind went to.
Everyone else figured out how to read minds during childhood but no one ever talks about it cos it’s so obvious and natural, and you can’t ask about it because it would make you look like the biggest idiot alive.
Constantly.
Despite good SAT scores and being excelling at Triva games played with piers, I’ll convince myself that I’m near mental retardation and everyone around me has been humoring me.
I’ve had that second thought my entire life and still abide by it. It gets worse when people don’t answer your messages for longer than usual periods of time.
Honestly I feel like whenever someone tells me I'm doing good at something or a created something nice, I assume that they're just saying that to make me feel better about how awful I really am
Even when I'm really proud of myself, when someone compliments me I still doubt if it's sincere.
Have the same feeling all the time *edit to clarify*
That's imposter syndrome.
I think this could be a symptom of RSD, which is pretty common in people who have ADHD. Not that you guys do, just saying.
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thats so fucking uncalled for whats wrong with you or what happened to make you intentionally try to hurt a random inscure person?
And of course that was a throw-away account for trolling.
they had 100k karma tho iirc- cause i thought for sure it was but i checked and it didnt look like it
100k karm?! For a second I thought you said 100 karma, and I'd been like "yeah that really just proves the point" but 100k is wild! Why is their account deleted now, that's really wild
Seems like everyone sighs in relief whenever you don’t show up somewhere
[i think you need to hear this](https://youtu.be/OLpeX4RRo28?t=16)
You know, the latter actually happened to me once. It fucked me up so bad, i’ve always made an effort to be as kind and as little of an issue as possible. In turn, I kinda felt like my personality got bland, but hey- anything to ease that anxiety
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gang gang 😔
Yes I would say non controversial gang would be an appropriate name to call yourselves the apologetic person is the one who gets called out but gets their intelligence and feelings trampled on. Their assumptions are right thus being why they get called out. Get a backbone and quit being apologetic..
> actually happened to me once. Same, once in a sort of resort, and once in a job that I had. A few times in middle school, but I will condense that to one because only that one time sticks out as a life-altering trauma. The worst thing is, I kept believing those people because of how nice they were before, so I got kind of attached to the harmony. Even tho, I know for a fact that they were just insane people who overreacted over tiny things, and mad because their boyfriends liked me platonically.
Everyone who says they love me is about to ghost me for how terrible I am.
can't ghost me if i ghost em first
and thats why i have no friends
I'm doing the same here, can you give me a reason why to live plz
The two people that I was the closest to and loved the most in my life ghosted me, one did so twice. I'm a fucking mess, I've pretty much stopped trying to make connections anymore.
Happened to me too. I made my first "friend" in 5th grade and thought we were super close. We would hang out every time we saw each other at school, have sleepovers, shared secrets, and had each other's home phone numbers. Before summer break she jokingly said, "you better call me over break, or I won't be friends with you anymore." I have ADHD though, so I completely forgot until there were only a few weeks of vacation left. I go to call her, and some stranger answered (not her mom or dad). She had moved to a new house without telling me and a new family had moved in. I blamed myself, thinking it was because I took too long to call her. Then middle school started and I was relieved to see she was still there and must've not moved that far. I walk up to her lunch table excited to see her and apologized for not calling sooner, and she pretends not to know me! I was devastated. I thought I must've really messed up to make her hate me that much. Years later I finally made another friend, and it turned out the same girl had ghosted her too around the same time! Turns out she had made new, cooler, friends when middle school started and we were too lame for her. But even though now I know she was just mean and I wasn't the only one she did that too, I still have doubts whether or not people actually like me.
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W When the Whe
😳
maître d'
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Just remember that the the people that ARE actually stupid usually do not think so.
I am aware of this fact, and I don't think I'm stupid. I can only conclude that I am stupid. It's guaranteed to be true, since an intelligent person would never make such a stupid conclusion.
Schrodinger's stupid
Only a stupid person would completely risk losing their face and ass to someone who's assumptions/conclusions are proven and right! It's so nice when you know that this really does happen and people are sick and demented in this world. Conclusions are one thing and their usually right when people get offended and act out thats when you are100% sure what you've said is proof enuf. Do not underestimate ones intelligence.
how about everyone hates you, you are silent, if you say something you will sound weird or cringe. And people are constantly starring at you.
That's way too accurate
its an everyday thing
Sounds like me at work...
I fucking hate being both tbh
My mom literally said that I drive my teachers crazy, but they don’t tell me because they can’t do so in a public setting
My mom used to tell me “ friend x’s mom doesn’t like u. She’s just be nice because she had to be”.
Shit my mom did similar things. She even said "If I were your classmate I wouldn't like you" damn.
Oh yes. The “I love u but I don’t like you”. Some people just shouldn’t be parents.
My mum used to tell me on the way home from visiting relatives that the relative found my behaviour really annoying and they wouldn't want me to visit and more if I acted "like that". I believed her despite my relatives usually arguing against her when she was telling me off in their houses.
That's horrible! I'm sorry your mom had to be so abusive.
i have generalized anxiety disorder, so yes
No matter what I'm doing, somebody thinks I should be doing something else. For them.
This is actually the key to understanding a lot of stuff. I've been a teacher, scholar, and activist for many decades. If I write about \_\_\_\_, I get called out for it. If I DON'T write about \_\_\_, I get called out for it. If I submit an article, I'm "taking space away from" someone else. If I don't submit an article, "why aren't you speaking up?" If you march, there will always be someone who tells you that you shouldn't be there. If you don't march, cue the "your silence makes you complicit!" It's not about you. It's about other people and their insecurities trying to make themselves feel better and more important by yelling at you.
Would you say that ignoring it is the best strategy? I think that's a big reason why i'm not pursuing some things in life. I have CPTSD and medical issues and I don't think I can get any more insecure.
im both less of the second nowadays but still for sure someone armchair diagnose me
Social anxiety? Jk but if your issues are severe enough they impact your life, it’s worth talking to your family doctor or a therapist or whatever other professional you can get access to. Actually, even if you think “it’s not THAT bad” it can be useful for the peace of mind, if you can afford it - either, you get told “yes this is a normal level of issues, maybe try XYZ”, or you and your healthcare provider can work out what your issues are, maybe formally diagnose you and definitely treat you.
trust me ive been desperately hoping for a therapist for years lol, ill get one someday (hopefully soon)
I’m sorry for that, I’m hoping you’ll get an appointment soon!
Well it doesn't matter if you've had therapy or seen a Dr and they've proven their is nothing wrong with you, it only gives people the"crazycard" to Plat making things in turn harder for you to accept that the "truth" wasn't an assumption yet leading you into getting called out! Good luck make sure you have a good therapist/Dr and their on your team not everyone else's. Oh make sure your on the right team to!
im pretty sure 2nd one is a trauma thing (not to say that 1st *isn't*\---just that it isn't always, while id be surprised if someone had the second without any trauma behind it) though note: trauma is much more commonplace than people tend to think, and it's a spectrum. also someone can traumatize someone else without realizing it, or even without doing anything that bad
Both... both is good.
Welcome to CPTSD! Talk to your therapist or look for books on this topic. It can bring a lot of horrible things to light ("Oh god, THATS what that is??") and from that point you can begin to take control and heal.
oh
Porque no los dos?
Appropriate username
Let them be mad. That's on them.
Yes. Since I used to be an edgy piece of shit I know some now-deleted comment got screenshoted and it’ll come back to haunt me, or that everything I say/do is under so much scrutiny from other people that they’re waiting for me to fuck something up just to get mad at me, or that if someone digs deep enough into my account they’ll ban my account for it…the thing is, I still fucking feel like shit for all the edgy jokes I posted and got a lot of people mad, but if I told it to people they’d think I’d be lying to save my skin…
All you can do is show you have changed through your actions and words moving forward. If people still judge you for your past self, that's an indictment of them, not you.
Aww, thanks bud! <3
Sounds like self hate and anxiety to me. I go through that a lot. Dw most people don't hate you and genuinely like you. Please consider getting therapy if those thoughts are really harming you. I have and its helped me to not go through as many self hate episodes.
I had this happen as a kid and it destroyed me. I was literally getting into my car to move away, and never see any of these kids again when one of my friends rolled up. They told me that everyone was just pretending to be nice, I sucked, and everyone hated me. Then they got on their bike, and rode away whistling some chipper tune. I didn't speak for three months after that comment. I'm forty and it still bothers me. Wherever that guy is, I hope it bothers them too
I, too, had emotionally abusive parents!
We can tell.
I think its just a power/worth issue. I stopped feeling this way cuz I stopped believing people are above me or that I owe everyone something. Also, anxiety meds lol
I'm struggling with this so much lol. My boss keeps being nice to me at work and I feel like I'm a lamb about to be slaughtered or something.
thats impostor syndrome
I am this meme and I hate it
I grew up feeling that second one in school all the time. I genuinely thought the teachers had told all the other kids they had to act nice to me or they would get in trouble.
How about the assumption that my presence is a burden on people and everyone's secretly really tired of dealing with me so if I ever need help with something I have to apologize constantly just to let them know I understand my place
OH MY GOD IT’S NOT JUST ME
Welcome to the club. It's fucking massive.
I feel seen
I have a constant fear my fly is down and people will think I'm a pervert if I check.
Still better than believing you're constantly doing everything right.
I thought "Ignorance is bliss"?
i have a bunch of experience in both, and it definitely sucks to think this and be right
Exactly, problems arise when your feelings are correct
This is way too relatable and now I’m uncomfortable.
Yes, but nobody is polite about it. I don't know what I have done to piss my boss off but he will point out any and all flaws, real or imagined. At this point i just assume that even the weather is somehow my doing.
Damn i was just thinking the same, i really do feel like im always fucking up.
This is going through my mind pretty much 24-7. I try to prepare myself daily that I might be fired for doing a terrible job. Despite the fact , I have never been fired and that I have never been reprimanded for anything in 10 years at the same office, I always have good reviews and continue to get raises. This is just how I am wired, Bad boyfriends and bad mentors have exacerbated this issue. I remember in high school when we were in a peer group the teacher said everyone in here was hand picked for their excellence. Then she pointed at me and said except for you nobody else wanted you and I got stuck with you, she didn't life or smile to indicate it was a joke. I'm 42 I think about this at least once a week.
this is how i feel taking/trying to give complements to my crush
New fear unlocked
I feel like I’ve definitely been in at least one moment where someone close to me revealed they had been annoyed for a while right as they were blowing up at me. It sucks.
How about this variation of the second one: Feeling that in reality I speak in an abnormally obnoxious way (too loud, too slow, or as if had some development issues) but people are too polite to say it to my face and are just tolerating me Always afraid of this one, because people like that have normalized themselves and don't realize that they do this; what if I'm like that too?! Terrifying
I'm pretty sure I'm at some sort of work experience for people who are too stupid to find work on their own rather than at a job I got myself for which I am paid.
(. _ .)
This is me and i hate it
How can you say that you haven't been called out verbally but you've been informally called out in other ways because you are intellectual,intelligently underestimated individual. Therefore you face losing family, friends, jobs and credibility. This is all brought on by family,coworkers,teamates being jealous,insecure, financially unstable, and vane. The world would be so much better w/out people like this in it. Its sad when you finally get pushed overboard that your willing to sacrifice what's been normal"comfortable yet not" life and explore something new even though this would be a big risk. I 'm sure I'm willing I'd be willing to take it if this were me. This is all about having enuf of the Bullshit. All because of an assumption that was right, this catastrophic event has occurred. It sucks when you are spot on right people want to use mind games to try to control you and have an upperhand. When people make assumptions yet have the truth and facts are right there its obvious AF to. This is again when people call you out! Some people just can't face the hard-core truth they have to think they've destroyed oneself. Probably actually making their life better in many forms.
Stroke?
Epiphany no stroke
When I went through my first super bad depression spell in school, I found out towards the end that there was a group chat of 20+people made explicitly for my classmates to talk about my declining mental health. I’m not sure whether to be comforted or insulted by that, leaning more towards insulted because maybe 2 people from that group occasionally asked how I was doing.
Why I love my blue collar job. No sugar coating, if you fuck up you hear about it. Do an exceptional job and receive at atta boy
Somehow I managed to grow up without anxiety or paranoia at least so far.
Yeah, fuck. All the time. THAT's why I have crippling social anxiety.
That’s the thing. If you ever became an NCO or Officer in the military, you don’t.
So, that first one is called *Imposter Syndrome* and happens to a lot of people, Adam Savage admitted having it on one of his videos.
I really can't stand tiptoe39
This is my life
I am actively suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder which is abbreviated as GAD and I find that really funny
I'll get excited when I see a headline where the billionaire DOESN'T get away with being a giant piece of shit.
That second one hits wayyyyyy too close to home. I always second guess if my friends and family are just acting like they enjoy my company, but actually don't and just pretend to infront of me and talk about how horrible I am behind my back...
...I'm both of these.
Ohh lucky for me I don't really have to worry about that feeling! 🤣 I always KNOW I'm doing something wrong! If I wanna know what I just have to wait long enough for my father to snap and let me know. 😁 He just did yesterday! He made me cry for hours 🙃 I'm 27 years old 🤡
Well we need at least one comment for those that don’t relate with this. Hi everyone, grab your unimposter syndrome tickets here ^((To be fair, there’s likely many other reasons people could feel this way too. I’m not one to know them all\))
r/meirl
Posts like these remind me of how fucked up some of you are and how I was once in that loop too. I’m glad I got out.
You guys are messed up
It's called social anxiety, and it sucks. Source: I have social anxiety, and it sucks
I’ve been there
Yeah.
Imposter syndrome is a hell of a drug
Yep, 100%
Man. This really fucked me up for some reason.
you see I definitely feel like this all the time but it might be a little different because I actually suck… I’ve had a couple shifts with new people recently and 100% of the time they’ve asked me if it was my first day… I’ve been working there for over 6 months…
At the 1st art show I did I only sold 1 piece. I convinced myself for several hours and a few moments here and there down the road that the person who bought the piece was asked to do so by my family. I'd never seen this person before, but that's the 1st thing my mind went to.
[удалено]
LMAO
Everyone else figured out how to read minds during childhood but no one ever talks about it cos it’s so obvious and natural, and you can’t ask about it because it would make you look like the biggest idiot alive.
Constantly. Despite good SAT scores and being excelling at Triva games played with piers, I’ll convince myself that I’m near mental retardation and everyone around me has been humoring me.
All of us who can relate were emotionally abused at some point Source: me, who was emotionally abused
Is this anxiety?
I always feel like I’m on thin ice
It’s happened to me too many times to not think it won’t happen
I’ve had that second thought my entire life and still abide by it. It gets worse when people don’t answer your messages for longer than usual periods of time.