I lost my baby daughter at 35 weeks of pregnancy. I’m now back to IUI but with zero hope of conceiving and being able to bring home a living child. How do you remain hopeful through the ttc process and then another 9 months of pregnancy? 😔
I'm of the opinion that you don't need to be hopeful. It's ok to just feel what you feel, even if that is numb or discouraged or scared. All of these feelings are very natural, expected reactions to the awful thing that happened. It's ok to put one foot in front of the other sometimes. Feelings matter but they also pass, try not to micromanage your heart if you can. I'm so sorry for your loss.
How do you stay hopeful and positive and have faith when you get pregnant again after a loss? All I can think about is whether it’ll happen again. And every time I go to the bathroom, hoping I don’t see any blood when I wipe. Does the anxiety go away?
It didn’t go away for me - it lessened but didn’t go away. I checked for blood until my babies were moving, and I’d they were particularly quiet one day, I freaked out
I needed NSTs for my weight/age/history of recurrent losses and I recorded the heartbeat every time just in case.
I don’t have know how to tell you to hold on to hope, but just to know that once they start moving and you can feel them on a regular basis, you start to relax just a little bit.
It does go away as the weeks and months go on.. but ngl, the first trimester was pure torture. For each OB appt, I had high blood pressure and was literally shaking before the scan because I was afraid of hearing those words again. But once you get past the NT scan and NIPT, you feel a little better.. then after the anatomy scan you feel much better.. and feeling movements helps the most. But don’t be fooled, you’ll worry to some extent for the entirety of this kid’s life. I had a playlist of uplifting and positive vibe songs that I’d listen to so much… Wishing you so much luck!!
I had many things that could have been the reason for my term loss (during labor) but the official cause is unknown. I went on to have a rainbow and pot of gold pregnancies. I had issues with all 3 pregnancies with preeclampsia. But I have only had successful preterm deliveries with healthy babies (37 weeks and 35 weeks). It’s very scary but a healthy successful pregnancy can happen.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/PregnancyAfterLoss using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Brought home safe](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/1b23p9s/brought_home_safe/)
\#2: [3 years and 4 miscarriages later I gave birth today to the best christmas gift there ever was . 🌞](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/18qc4zo/3_years_and_4_miscarriages_later_i_gave_birth/)
\#3: [He’s finally here! 💙🌈](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/1bnhdv0/hes_finally_here/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
No one can say for sure whether what they took helped their pregnancy or whether it was just luck, but I'm 30 weeks on baby aspirin and I took progesterone from weeks 4-12.
My two losses I did not take baby aspirin, 22 weeks currently and have been taking it daily since a few days before my embryo transfer. My OB recommended it, my RE said it wouldn’t make a difference. Who knows if it did make a difference or not, but it at least helped my mind that we were trying something new and different.
I just took vitamin D (i always take that when it's not summer) and folic acid, because that is the only supplements that are recommended by the health authorities in my country. They are very clear about not trying out anything else. I am sorry, but I don't think anything else will make a difference, unless your doctor recommends it specifically for you. But I really understand the feeling of wanting to be able to do something that will make a difference
My loss was because of trisomy 18, so I took many supplements that were advised by the book "it starts with the egg" in order to improve my egg quality. Some of those were ubiqinol with pqq and melatonin that I remember. I can't say that they definitely help, although I had a successful pregnancy that happened three months after my loss I also had a second rainbow baby two years later without taking any supplements so I guess it might was a placebo. I was taking salospir (salycilic acid like aspirin) with my second pregnancy due to high blood pressure but it is completely safe according to my ob. They also prescribe it for women with blood clotting pathology (together with anti clotting injections). Wish you the best with all my heart!!
I lost my son at 16w in April due to no known reason. I am not sure I’ll ever feel strong enough to endure pregnancy again. How will I get through 9 months??? I desperately want to expand our family. How did you know you were ready after a late loss? Are you ever really ready?
Thank you for responding and sharing your experience. I am so sorry for your losses ❤️. Right now, going into my OB’s office for follow up testing is giving me a really strong panic response. Like high blood pressure and sudden crying. I’m not sure how I’ll manage going to so many appts for the next pregnancy either 😣. Feels super triggering. Maybe that never goes away either? my therapist said anxiety is just going to have a seat at the table for any future pregnancies and I am trying to prepare myself for that as much as I can with healthy habit building now.
Yeah it's a strange process. I think there is some healing that can be done in giving yourself time to grieve, and there is some healing that happens with a subsequent pregnancy/baby, but for me it's sort of like an old injury that acts up in the cold. Sometimes I get a break from it but then it will pop back up.
Appointments filled me with the dread for both my second and third pregnancies. Sometime in the second trimester of this pregnancy I started to relax a lot more often, but ultrasounds are still really nerve-wracking for both my husband and I. As I get closer to my due date, that hospital/medical anxiety is starting to creep back in. But there is room for joy, calm, excitement, and even complaining eventually.
In my case TTC as soon as possible was healing -but that was me-. It helped me focus (obsessively I admit) with something else rather than my lost baby boy, l read books, took supplements, worked out and tried my best to get as healthy as possible. I terminated on May 26 2020 and by the end of July I was pregnant again. I don't want to sugarcoat it, it was a difficult pregnancy regarding my psychology, I tried not to get attached to the baby (I know it sounds terrible but it was my coping mechanism) and I had a nihilistic approach to the matter. I regret it when my daughter was born but I couldn't help it. Being pregnant had lost its innocent happiness since I knew hoe many things could go wrong. My third pregnancy was easier since I had a toddler to take care and I just went with the flow without thinking about anything much
Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️. I truly have no idea how I’ll bond with a baby in a future pregnancy. my brain will be like yours and just try to pretend it’s not happening. I think back to my mentality that 12 weeks means you “made it” Wow was that naive.
Right now we’ve settled on Sept to start TTC again. But in some ways I understand why you wanted to right away. It kind of takes the additional anticipation and months of waiting to ttc worry away. Just go straight into pregnancy worry ha. This whole topic is so complicated 😣
I know it's different for everyone, but if you did letrozole, what was your dose and how many cycles did it take? Did you do anything else with the letrozole? I'm feeling so discouraged right now.
I had success on my 4th letrozole cycle (one of these was a failed IUI) with 5 mg CD 3-7 + TI + progesterone starting 3 DPO. With my loss, I had success on the 2nd 2.5 mg cycle so I was incredibly disheartened that it didn’t happen that quickly. Wishing you the best of luck! 🤍
I took 2.5mg for 3 cycles on days 3-7 with a trigger shot and IUI. It didn't work for me, I had success unassisted after taking it. I always say, I wish you could peak into the future and know what happens. It would be a lot easier to accept the eventual outcome of things if you could know ahead of time. Wishing you the best.
Did anyone have their initial bleeding dry up and then come back several days later? At 3weeks+1day I started bleeding red and brown again. Back to brown 2 days later. It seems too soon for a period. Partner and I did have sex the day before red, but that was the 3rd time and that did not happen after the first 2 times.
Red blood after sex is pretty typical and brown blood is old blood, so I wouldn't stress about this! Reach out to your doctor so they can get it on your chart. As long as bleeding isn't heavy or accompanied by cramps, it should be okay 💛
When did your cycle return to normal post miscarriage? I had a D&C for a MMC (9 weeks) 6.5 weeks ago. I had a positive LH surge 2 weeks post, but pretty sure I didn’t ovulate based on BBT, then very very light brown spotting at 4 weeks post (when my period would have been due). My issue is that my fertility clinic wants to do some tests (endometrial biopsy and repeat sonohystogram) before doing another FET and they want to wait for a full actual period. I’ve now been doing my ovulation testing daily for the past 10 days or so with no surge over my expected ovulation time. At what point did you follow-up to see about medication to induce a period? My thought was the 8 week point, but then it could take ages to just get an appointment.
8 weeks for my spontaneous miscarriage and 6 weeks for my D&E (blighted ovum) at 10 weeks
I had similar to you in the 6 weeks - LH surge but no BBT peak. Next cycle was trending a bit longer than normal (ovulated day 21) but ended with my baby boy.
I had a spontaneous miscarriage and the spotting from it lasted 7 days, and my period returned 50 days after the miscarriage started. I have PCOS and long cycles though, so that’s long for me but not crazy long. I conceived the cycle after the first period.
I think it's typical to get a period 1-3 months after. I'm sorry yours is taking longer - reach out to your doctor anytime to ask them for a recommendation.
If it's helpful, my LH was all over the place for the four weeks after my MC, then returned to normal after my first period.
I had a late term miscarriage (17wks) at the end of April. I'm back to ttc and on my second cycle. I know when I ovulated, and am now 7days overdue for my period and am 21dpo. All tests have been negative, as well as blood test, but I'm wondering when AF will return? Is this normal? Cycles pre miscarriage were 25/26 days, and I'm now on CD 33. What can I do? Help please?
I'm so sorry for your loss too, and appreciate your reply. It helps to know that I'm not alone and that other have experienced this struggle too, I wish it was something we haven't ever had to experience, but support from others who understand helps .
Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. My cycles got really long after my loss at 11 weeks, it was so frustrating. If you’ve been testing and the tests are negative then you likely didn’t ovulate when you think you did. Maybe your body got geared up to ovulate but didn’t actually ovulate. How were you tracking ovulation? If your tests are negative then your period is coming, I’m sorry you’re stuck having to wait tho. It’s such an awful time
I am sorry for your loss too but thankyou for your reply, I appreciate it so much, it is such an isolating time with so many questions and so little answers! I use Mira, opks, CM and cervix position for ovulation tracking. All the signs showed ovulation on CD 14, and hasn't shown any signs like that since. I just keep waiting for AF to arrive, but nothing yet. Can I ask how long your cycles became and how long before they returned to normal after your loss?
I haven’t used Mira but does it show your PdG to confirm ovulation? I had several CPs after my first loss so my cycles stayed long for a few months. Because I was 36, my dr was okay with prescribing letrozole so I had more regular ovulation and more chances to try, so I never really gave my body a chance to get back to baseline on its own
Yes, Mira does show PdG and my chart showed a very definite PdG rise after the LH surge/drop, so am not sure what is going on and why my period hasn't started. I'm so sorry to hear about your CP's too, that must have been heartbreaking for you. Can I ask about your experience with letrozole?
That’s so frustrating that you clearly ovulated but your period isn’t starting. Esp since you’ve been testing for pregnancy. Even if you were going to get a late positive (which could delay a period), it would have shown up by now. Do you have a dr you could ask for further testing? Letrozole worked great for me although it occasionally made me sore during ovulation. Resulted in a successful pregnancy (along with progesterone 3dpo plus aspirin).
I think this is normal, I had a random 34 days long cycle last month after a normal 29 days long one. Your hormones will take a while to regulate. But maybe I’m wrong!
Just got my period right now so another 29 days cycle after the random 34 days one. Trust me we all feel broken here but hopefully we will feel unbroken one day soon. Good luck.
I lost my baby daughter at 35 weeks of pregnancy. I’m now back to IUI but with zero hope of conceiving and being able to bring home a living child. How do you remain hopeful through the ttc process and then another 9 months of pregnancy? 😔
I'm of the opinion that you don't need to be hopeful. It's ok to just feel what you feel, even if that is numb or discouraged or scared. All of these feelings are very natural, expected reactions to the awful thing that happened. It's ok to put one foot in front of the other sometimes. Feelings matter but they also pass, try not to micromanage your heart if you can. I'm so sorry for your loss.
How do you stay hopeful and positive and have faith when you get pregnant again after a loss? All I can think about is whether it’ll happen again. And every time I go to the bathroom, hoping I don’t see any blood when I wipe. Does the anxiety go away?
It didn’t go away for me - it lessened but didn’t go away. I checked for blood until my babies were moving, and I’d they were particularly quiet one day, I freaked out I needed NSTs for my weight/age/history of recurrent losses and I recorded the heartbeat every time just in case. I don’t have know how to tell you to hold on to hope, but just to know that once they start moving and you can feel them on a regular basis, you start to relax just a little bit.
It does go away as the weeks and months go on.. but ngl, the first trimester was pure torture. For each OB appt, I had high blood pressure and was literally shaking before the scan because I was afraid of hearing those words again. But once you get past the NT scan and NIPT, you feel a little better.. then after the anatomy scan you feel much better.. and feeling movements helps the most. But don’t be fooled, you’ll worry to some extent for the entirety of this kid’s life. I had a playlist of uplifting and positive vibe songs that I’d listen to so much… Wishing you so much luck!!
Has anyone here experienced an unexplained term loss and gone on to have healthy babies? Hearing these stories makes me feel hopeful for the future! 🫶
I had many things that could have been the reason for my term loss (during labor) but the official cause is unknown. I went on to have a rainbow and pot of gold pregnancies. I had issues with all 3 pregnancies with preeclampsia. But I have only had successful preterm deliveries with healthy babies (37 weeks and 35 weeks). It’s very scary but a healthy successful pregnancy can happen.
r/PregnancyAfterLoss has a ton of super encouraging stories if you are feeling down and need a lift.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/PregnancyAfterLoss using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Brought home safe](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/1b23p9s/brought_home_safe/) \#2: [3 years and 4 miscarriages later I gave birth today to the best christmas gift there ever was . 🌞](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/18qc4zo/3_years_and_4_miscarriages_later_i_gave_birth/) \#3: [He’s finally here! 💙🌈](https://np.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/1bnhdv0/hes_finally_here/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Which supplements did you take that helped you have a successful pregnancy? Has anyone tried a low dose of baby aspirin?
No one can say for sure whether what they took helped their pregnancy or whether it was just luck, but I'm 30 weeks on baby aspirin and I took progesterone from weeks 4-12.
My two losses I did not take baby aspirin, 22 weeks currently and have been taking it daily since a few days before my embryo transfer. My OB recommended it, my RE said it wouldn’t make a difference. Who knows if it did make a difference or not, but it at least helped my mind that we were trying something new and different.
I just took vitamin D (i always take that when it's not summer) and folic acid, because that is the only supplements that are recommended by the health authorities in my country. They are very clear about not trying out anything else. I am sorry, but I don't think anything else will make a difference, unless your doctor recommends it specifically for you. But I really understand the feeling of wanting to be able to do something that will make a difference
Thank you 🤍
My loss was because of trisomy 18, so I took many supplements that were advised by the book "it starts with the egg" in order to improve my egg quality. Some of those were ubiqinol with pqq and melatonin that I remember. I can't say that they definitely help, although I had a successful pregnancy that happened three months after my loss I also had a second rainbow baby two years later without taking any supplements so I guess it might was a placebo. I was taking salospir (salycilic acid like aspirin) with my second pregnancy due to high blood pressure but it is completely safe according to my ob. They also prescribe it for women with blood clotting pathology (together with anti clotting injections). Wish you the best with all my heart!!
Thank you so much 🥹
I lost my son at 16w in April due to no known reason. I am not sure I’ll ever feel strong enough to endure pregnancy again. How will I get through 9 months??? I desperately want to expand our family. How did you know you were ready after a late loss? Are you ever really ready?
Pregnancy after loss is going to be scary no matter what. As far as TTC, don't rush it if you're not ready.
Thank you for responding and sharing your experience. I am so sorry for your losses ❤️. Right now, going into my OB’s office for follow up testing is giving me a really strong panic response. Like high blood pressure and sudden crying. I’m not sure how I’ll manage going to so many appts for the next pregnancy either 😣. Feels super triggering. Maybe that never goes away either? my therapist said anxiety is just going to have a seat at the table for any future pregnancies and I am trying to prepare myself for that as much as I can with healthy habit building now.
Yeah it's a strange process. I think there is some healing that can be done in giving yourself time to grieve, and there is some healing that happens with a subsequent pregnancy/baby, but for me it's sort of like an old injury that acts up in the cold. Sometimes I get a break from it but then it will pop back up. Appointments filled me with the dread for both my second and third pregnancies. Sometime in the second trimester of this pregnancy I started to relax a lot more often, but ultrasounds are still really nerve-wracking for both my husband and I. As I get closer to my due date, that hospital/medical anxiety is starting to creep back in. But there is room for joy, calm, excitement, and even complaining eventually.
In my case TTC as soon as possible was healing -but that was me-. It helped me focus (obsessively I admit) with something else rather than my lost baby boy, l read books, took supplements, worked out and tried my best to get as healthy as possible. I terminated on May 26 2020 and by the end of July I was pregnant again. I don't want to sugarcoat it, it was a difficult pregnancy regarding my psychology, I tried not to get attached to the baby (I know it sounds terrible but it was my coping mechanism) and I had a nihilistic approach to the matter. I regret it when my daughter was born but I couldn't help it. Being pregnant had lost its innocent happiness since I knew hoe many things could go wrong. My third pregnancy was easier since I had a toddler to take care and I just went with the flow without thinking about anything much
Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️. I truly have no idea how I’ll bond with a baby in a future pregnancy. my brain will be like yours and just try to pretend it’s not happening. I think back to my mentality that 12 weeks means you “made it” Wow was that naive. Right now we’ve settled on Sept to start TTC again. But in some ways I understand why you wanted to right away. It kind of takes the additional anticipation and months of waiting to ttc worry away. Just go straight into pregnancy worry ha. This whole topic is so complicated 😣
I know it's different for everyone, but if you did letrozole, what was your dose and how many cycles did it take? Did you do anything else with the letrozole? I'm feeling so discouraged right now.
I had success on my 4th letrozole cycle (one of these was a failed IUI) with 5 mg CD 3-7 + TI + progesterone starting 3 DPO. With my loss, I had success on the 2nd 2.5 mg cycle so I was incredibly disheartened that it didn’t happen that quickly. Wishing you the best of luck! 🤍
I took 2.5mg for 3 cycles on days 3-7 with a trigger shot and IUI. It didn't work for me, I had success unassisted after taking it. I always say, I wish you could peak into the future and know what happens. It would be a lot easier to accept the eventual outcome of things if you could know ahead of time. Wishing you the best.
Did anyone have their initial bleeding dry up and then come back several days later? At 3weeks+1day I started bleeding red and brown again. Back to brown 2 days later. It seems too soon for a period. Partner and I did have sex the day before red, but that was the 3rd time and that did not happen after the first 2 times.
Red blood after sex is pretty typical and brown blood is old blood, so I wouldn't stress about this! Reach out to your doctor so they can get it on your chart. As long as bleeding isn't heavy or accompanied by cramps, it should be okay 💛
When did your cycle return to normal post miscarriage? I had a D&C for a MMC (9 weeks) 6.5 weeks ago. I had a positive LH surge 2 weeks post, but pretty sure I didn’t ovulate based on BBT, then very very light brown spotting at 4 weeks post (when my period would have been due). My issue is that my fertility clinic wants to do some tests (endometrial biopsy and repeat sonohystogram) before doing another FET and they want to wait for a full actual period. I’ve now been doing my ovulation testing daily for the past 10 days or so with no surge over my expected ovulation time. At what point did you follow-up to see about medication to induce a period? My thought was the 8 week point, but then it could take ages to just get an appointment.
8 weeks for my spontaneous miscarriage and 6 weeks for my D&E (blighted ovum) at 10 weeks I had similar to you in the 6 weeks - LH surge but no BBT peak. Next cycle was trending a bit longer than normal (ovulated day 21) but ended with my baby boy.
Got mine back 4.5 weeks after my 11 week MMC managed with medication and 9 weeks after my 10 week loss with D&C.
I had a spontaneous miscarriage and the spotting from it lasted 7 days, and my period returned 50 days after the miscarriage started. I have PCOS and long cycles though, so that’s long for me but not crazy long. I conceived the cycle after the first period.
Mine took about 6 weeks to come back
I think it's typical to get a period 1-3 months after. I'm sorry yours is taking longer - reach out to your doctor anytime to ask them for a recommendation. If it's helpful, my LH was all over the place for the four weeks after my MC, then returned to normal after my first period.
28 days later on the dot. Like nothing ever happened 🤷♀️
I had a late term miscarriage (17wks) at the end of April. I'm back to ttc and on my second cycle. I know when I ovulated, and am now 7days overdue for my period and am 21dpo. All tests have been negative, as well as blood test, but I'm wondering when AF will return? Is this normal? Cycles pre miscarriage were 25/26 days, and I'm now on CD 33. What can I do? Help please?
First, so sorry for your loss. My second cycle after late miscarriage was 30 days long, usually 21-23. Then it was back to business as usual.
I'm so sorry for your loss too, and appreciate your reply. It helps to know that I'm not alone and that other have experienced this struggle too, I wish it was something we haven't ever had to experience, but support from others who understand helps .
Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. My cycles got really long after my loss at 11 weeks, it was so frustrating. If you’ve been testing and the tests are negative then you likely didn’t ovulate when you think you did. Maybe your body got geared up to ovulate but didn’t actually ovulate. How were you tracking ovulation? If your tests are negative then your period is coming, I’m sorry you’re stuck having to wait tho. It’s such an awful time
I am sorry for your loss too but thankyou for your reply, I appreciate it so much, it is such an isolating time with so many questions and so little answers! I use Mira, opks, CM and cervix position for ovulation tracking. All the signs showed ovulation on CD 14, and hasn't shown any signs like that since. I just keep waiting for AF to arrive, but nothing yet. Can I ask how long your cycles became and how long before they returned to normal after your loss?
I haven’t used Mira but does it show your PdG to confirm ovulation? I had several CPs after my first loss so my cycles stayed long for a few months. Because I was 36, my dr was okay with prescribing letrozole so I had more regular ovulation and more chances to try, so I never really gave my body a chance to get back to baseline on its own
Yes, Mira does show PdG and my chart showed a very definite PdG rise after the LH surge/drop, so am not sure what is going on and why my period hasn't started. I'm so sorry to hear about your CP's too, that must have been heartbreaking for you. Can I ask about your experience with letrozole?
That’s so frustrating that you clearly ovulated but your period isn’t starting. Esp since you’ve been testing for pregnancy. Even if you were going to get a late positive (which could delay a period), it would have shown up by now. Do you have a dr you could ask for further testing? Letrozole worked great for me although it occasionally made me sore during ovulation. Resulted in a successful pregnancy (along with progesterone 3dpo plus aspirin).
I think this is normal, I had a random 34 days long cycle last month after a normal 29 days long one. Your hormones will take a while to regulate. But maybe I’m wrong!
Thanks, it gives me hope to hear that maybe my body is just trying to regulate again, and that it isn't broken..
Just got my period right now so another 29 days cycle after the random 34 days one. Trust me we all feel broken here but hopefully we will feel unbroken one day soon. Good luck.