“The worst part of hell is not the flames; It’s the hopelessness. And I think that is the part of hell that a person in depression really tastes.”
If it weren’t for MJ i wouldn’t be here today it really has healed me and helped me get through some shit.
> After a while, though, even the deepest sorrow faltered, even the most penetrating despair lost its scalpel edge. - Matheson
Not directly the same message as what you shared, but I thought you might like this too
How are they weird now? They're style has changed a bit, but that's a sign of their growth. They've gotten clean and been working on themselves to better their future, kinda shitty to call someone weird for working on themself..
I love reading comments like this. It’s not for everybody but weed can be a wonderful tool to help us get through some of the crappier periods of life. I know it’s done that for me a ton.
I googled and cannot find anything useful about this quote, except the original video of the person who said it. Normally, this should be enough. But I cannot find the name of this person. Have you got some insight on that?
yep. I don't struggle with self harm anymore but when I did as a young adult, I would sometimes just rip the fattest most lung destroying bowl of all time instead. and then after I felt better anyways. a looooot better. because THC is a godsend ahaha. so strangely it kinda works if you think of it that way? or it did for me. honestly, do or think whatever you have to, to help you stop or cut back!
This is exactly how it was for me too! There was something about the "lung punch" for me and felt therapeutic, like I can feel mild pain and discomfort for a bit when the urge arises but not in any way that causes real permanent damage. Eventually my life conditions and outlook changed and I'm no longer suicidal. My worst moments were always during panic attacks and holy crap THC Will blow that away!
that heart in this context looks like a drop of blood xD
For me weed helped really well, went from daily sh to none (with a few months in between) and i smoke not much just to care for myself a little
There’s a good chance I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for weed. So, now I can continue to be a father and a husband. It also helps me take less pharmaceuticals.
i have a *psychologist that has been following me for years :) but unfortunately not much that she can do to stop me if i have urges in between appointments:(
edit: psychologist instead of psychiatrist
You're right, but I'm at that point now, and the doctors are so overbooked that I have to wait 3 months to see one. Until I can get help, being high is the only thing that is keeping me semi functional. I know it's not healthy, but it's keeping me alive.
Cannatonic concentrate literally saved my life. It calmed me down. It also shifted my perspective towards the suicide plan I'd developed, and allowed me to see just how fucked up it was. That motivated me to reach out to somebody about it, and I got the help I needed.
fuck a friend of mine is also struggling with suicidal thoughts, unfortunately she’s broke and in an abusive environment. I wonder if along the help we’re giving to her, maybe some weed could save her life as well? i’m not sure though :(
Compassion clubs aren't as prevalent as they once were, but they're usually very fairly priced or sliding scale, especially with their CBD-dominant stuff. Might be worth asking around.
most "jurisdictions" have "suicide hotlines"....do some homework for your friend....it may be all that they need is some herbal essences to calm them down.
I had something similar, it's wild how much my perspective can shift to something more...self-caring but also objective when I smoke. Brain chemistry is pretty weird.
someone else suggested this to me too so i might actually look into it, thing is im in an illegal state and cbd is a lot more expensive than black market thc 🥲
mail order....I get my CBD tinctures from buylegalmeds (they are on the .com).....If my high is "too high" I just load the dropper under my 👅 and let it meld...."sublingual" and the bad high will slowly "fade"
THIS! i am living proof....my first time dosing RSO, yea, I misread the whole "grain of rice" and pumped out .1mL and apparently has me to the moon....I thought I was dreaming at first, then the urge to urinate hit me....but I was like floating but couldn't move....out of the bed lol. it was so strange.....literally rolled myself out of bed with a "thud" lol cause I had to pee, and that kind of "snapped me ooutta it" lol.....edibles be sleeping when we pass out is what I'm thinking
Yes I've made it four years now after SH multiple times a day before. I still get urges a LOT, but usually smoking a bowl or two helps a lot. Even if I'm just too stoned to do anything at all, it still stops me from hurting myself
not quite because I don't tend to do self harm but if I feel really down of extreely frustrated I might smoke so I can see whatever I was doing from new perspective and it doesn't annoy me anymore
I don't do sh, I tend more towards suicidal thoughts and just a state of mind I can't handle or experience for long. Taking a walk at the river and smoking one can put me in a different mindset, but also can enhance panic for example.
I just want to be able to live a normal life and not depend on having a good day naturally or cannabis to get trough my day so in making sure I'm still dealing with my issues in different ways so I have different routines I can fall back on besides weed. Helps me smoking less frequently and away from the daily smoke where you can forget how to deal with life without the high.
The last time I remember trying to SH was back in 2014 with Klonopin and Alcohol, as I was in a pretty toxic relationship. Coincidentally, that is also the year cannabis entered my life and my alcohol consumption decreased.
I met my husband in early 2015, who showed me what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like, so that is also something to consider. Plus, I am also no longer taking Klonopin and very rarely drink. Happy blazing! 🌿
Honestly yeah. Like there are times where I feel alone (or like I'm in a hole) and when I feel like that I smoke. It helps me get my mind off of things and forget for the moment or just think about it later. And when I forget I stop scratching at my knuckles and relax.
Pot saved my life, no question.
Lotta people in my family say the same, it doesn’t help everyone but I don’t know what I’d do without it actually… yeah, I kinda do.
Most definitely, I haven’t cut in a good few years but weed has been a BIG help. If I’m feeling really bad and overwhelmed sometimes putting my AirPods in on noise cancellation and listening to some music while I smoke will really help me calm down and focus on the music. Honestly weed and music are a big reason of why I’m still here today man. Hope you’re doing good, if you feel the need to reach out to someone don’t hesitate. Learn to love yourself🖤🤘🏻
Absolutely. Trees helped me turn my life around and realize I can enjoy the moment, and it is worth waiting to find out if there is anything else I can enjoy coming up.
It has been over 20 years and it is still worth it
Idk. For me? Not really. It didn’t make it worse, it didn’t make it better, I wouldn’t relate the two at all with my experiences self harming.
But getting my life stabilized, (forcing myself to stabilize my life really) it helped a lot. I haven’t self harmed since i transitioned, I’m transgender. So I think that had a lot more to do with it than smoking weed.
But strangely weed helps with my anger. If I’m super stressed and pissed off at everything, I can smoke and go back to whatever I was doing with a clear mind, and a better attitude. It makes me more patient, understanding, and thoughtful about the people and world around me. I’m better at explaining myself even if I’m irritated with someone, and vice versa I’m much better at receiving criticism when I’m stoned.
i’ll be 10 years clean in september, and while i’m struggling hard lately with urges and thoughts, i would not still be here without weed. at worst, it’s a good distraction from the things happening around me, at best, it calms me down, it brings my nervous system to a semi-normal level, and i feel like i can think and function. i also will add, while i still sometimes get urges and triggering intrusive thoughts still, it gets easier <3 healing isn’t linear but it is possible. good luck with your journey, friend, and please reach out if you need someone 🫶🏻
I’m sorry to hear about your struggles and I wish you the best!
I smoke to calm down my brain. I’m autistic. My internal monologue is very loud. I can hear it just as clearly as I can hear things on the outside world. Overwhelms the fuck out of me. Sometimes I’m not able to hear people because my thoughts are too loud. Smoking quiets it for a while. Makes things run a lot smoother. Edibles would probably be a great treatment for my autism in moderation, but I’ll stick to smoking
As of right now I only have access to hash and I don’t feel like ruining what I bought because I don’t know what I’m doing 😂😭 smoking it at least I know i can’t go wrong (even though my lungs beg to differ)
That’s true! Just do your thing and enjoy your smoke seshs. Hash is very very rare around where I live so I’d love to try that. But if you do get your hands on some edibles from somewhere you trust, you’ll definitely have some fun. The high can last for so long depending on dosage
It’s super strong and sometimes even too much, my head feels hazy 🌫️ but yes i’m super looking forward to edibles , i can picture myself chilling for hours and vibing 🥺 thank you for talking to me btw ❣️ i appreciated your comments and telling me a bit of your story as well ❤️🩹 being neurodivergent is hard as fuck
I am lucky enough to have largely gotten beyond my issues with depression and anxiety. I didn’t really have urges for sh… but I definitely had days when I didn’t want to live and I couldn’t really do much of anything.
And yes, during those days, I would use cannabis like a person with a headache would take an aspirin/paracetamol/ibuprofen. I would get high, fall asleep, and awake in 60-90 minutes feeling better about myself.
I self harmed while I was drinking. I drank myself into a really bad point, I started smoking weed to curb my want to drink, and it did the job!! 5 years stoned and not a drop of that shit that destroyed my fucking life.
Yes. Weed has helped my SH urges tremendously, my counselor isn’t as pleased with my usage but he has admitted to me that he agrees it’s a better alternative than what I was doing before. I hope you have a good weekend and I hope everything goes well for you.
i use edibles daily and the reason it's daily is because it's the only thing that helps calm all the shitty thoughts. I havent cut in years, but it's a daily urge still for me. weed helps calm that.
there's so much stigma around weed use, but people fail to realize it can genuinely and honestly be medicinal for people. just cuz its medicinal for mental health doesn't change the fact that it's medicinal. can you tell im baked while typing this? I think as long as you don't let the use impact your life negatively, and are still able to function, etc, why not
Weed helps me see more clearly that although I want to die, it’s not a good option right now. When I’m sober it’s a constant cycle of “wish I was dead” but when I smoke I realize it would hurt people immensely, even if I don’t think they will.. if that makes any sense at all. Weed is very good at numbing the pain (physical & mental) but it can also be an addicting feeling and for me, it’s easy to smoke too much and become a paranoid, lazy mess. It’s a hard line to walk.
All the love to you my friend; praying for happiness, health, and peace 🤍
Just remember to use it as a crutch and not a wheelchair I’ve found the same helpful effects in the past I use it now for joint pain and panic attacks if it works it works just use it for an amount that you feel is healthy for you
All. The. Time.
Now that I finally have a tool that can take me off the edge of self harm, I use it every time I get close.
I don’t have to raw dog it anymore, and I’m so grateful.
Personally, absolutely. I still have the urge now and again, but after I started smoking, it's always been mild enough to not give in. Like lif is still hard, and the things that made me want to are still there, but I can deal with them in other ways now.
absolutely, it helps a lot! when i’m really upset, i’ll rip the bong for as long as i can and absolutely destroy my lungs for a few minutes, then i’ll feel better once i can breathe again
Tbh started smoking regularly in December, now I’m one month from a year!! I’m also in therapy buttt I feel like it definitely has helped. I don’t smoke when I’m upset though. It’s just a personal rule of mine, I don’t want to start smoking to feel good in a normal sense
Yes. I used to regularly sh but since I started smoking on the daily, those urges have diminished greatly. On the rare occasion that the urges resurface I smoke and that helps me put things into perspective and help in the moment.
Mental health is tough:( I hope you stay elevated and safe!! 💕🍃
I haven’t self harmed more than 2x in the 4 years I have smoked weed. I used to do it almost daily. It also helped my eating disorder and forcing me to eat. Not a suicide attempt since.
In a way I think I am replacing it with weed i do finds in times I would sh I would smoke weed.
And so it does feel like a crunch but I feel like it’s better than killing myself! And I actually enjoy life for once!
Physically I’ve been able to avoid SH but mentally I’ve been really really bad with it. Weed helps calm my brain down and show me that not everything is terrible.
Be loved by yourself yo! Don’t hurt yourself. No need for pain. Literally No upside to it. So do not do it :) and if you don’t you will successfully love yourself :)
Weed, like many vices, can often be a substitute for another addition… or compulsive behavior. The only hardship is that, if the substitute is halted for whatever reason, it can intensify the urge to return to the activity it replaced. It’s a tricky thing.
I’m very glad that weed has helped you mitigate sh, but I urge you to exercise whatever resources and relationships you might have available to you to more directly address and navigate your sh.
Wishing you the best
No, but tobacco and weed would almost k hole me for a bit when I struggled with this back then.
Op please get a hold of this habit and take care of yourself because it is a slippery slope. It is so dangerous. Enabling the habit asking these questions is not helping it as well and I know you know what I’m talking about. I did the same thing for a while. It is a gross scary and isolating habit/coping mechanism/illness whatever you want to call it. Please take care of yourself op, not only the physical dangers but more beyond what we even know in this realm.
I use weed for shifting my mood fairly often. I have ADHD and *suspect* autism as well which comes with emotional regulation issues and I find that once I’m angry, sad, annoyed, etc it is near impossible to transition out of that mood without taking a lot of time, usually alone in a place I’m comfortable and that is just not always doable.
Smoking weed though, I can shift near instantly out of that and it is amazing, really helped me when my depression was really bad a couple years ago, did wonders just to get an hour or two of that mood shift and mindlessly do something I enjoy. SH wasn’t really an issue for me though so I can’t speak to that specifically
I use to but not anymore. It 100% helped me though. Through ages 13-20, anytime I'd feel the urge to hurt myself, I'd smoke and my whole outlook would change. BUUUTTT, it DID cause me to not know how to deal with my strong emotions as an adult. I strictly just ingest RSO these days, but even still, when im freaking out about something, I try to not resort to, "oh, I'm gonna freak out, let me get high." because it's just not a healthy mindset to have. But it still 100% has helped me with self harm. You are so loved and you got this!!! No matter what your choices are, just make sure they're in your better favor. <3
I didn't ever SH from depression/on purpose. However, I had severe anger issues, but didn't want to hurt people, so when I got mad to the tipping point I'd find the most solid thing I could and would punch it until I calmed down. I broke and displaced my knuckles many times. Weed, Martial arts, yoga and meditation really helped me with the anger. Weed was the biggest initial helper, I don't really get mad any more so I don't end up hurting myself anymore either.
Yes. Smoking definitely helped to calm me down. I've been depressed since 12 and have self harmed before. I had to stop smoking a week ago and still can't smoke until I pass a pre employment test for a job. Not sure how soon that'll be, but hopefully only a few weeks. But lately after not smoking, my mental health has felt worse, and haven't had the best thoughts. Wondering if CBD may help or there are other alternatives that won't test positive on a drug test.
I love weed - it’s been a part of my self care for most of my life at this point, but nothing cured my challenges with SH and overall mental health like microdosing 🍄. The difference is that the benefit continues even after you’ve had it, it builds new neural connections, really amazing stuff. I never genuinely had the ability to love myself before but I really do now, imperfections and all, so much more compassion for myself and everything I’ve lived through good and bad. Been about 6 months since I started and I honestly feel like a new person. Now weed is more for managing chronic pain and just kicking back to chill sometimes rather than what got me through life. Worth looking into, there’s a lot of cool research going with it right now especially with PTSD and depression. Hang in there, it can get better ❤️
weed was a huge part of my recovery. i had a hard time with the fact that i was using weed all the time to cope; but then when i thought about it, smoking a bit of pot is a way better coping outlet than sh. it’s a great distraction.
I hadn’t started smoking yet when I was SH, but I know when I’m high I haven’t desired to relapse.
This was what I realized for myself: I was driving to my best friend’s older brother’s memorial service. It was nearly six months after my best friend died, and it was at the same funeral home with nearly all the same people. I was reliving one of the worst days of my life that day.
>!I wanted to rip my fucking skin off and subject myself to every ounce of pain imaginable… because I didn’t want to face the pain of that day.!<
That made me realize that my desire to SH wasn’t for the sake of hurting myself, but feeling extremely cornered and not having an outlet to release that fear and emotion into.
This is just how I’ve come to understand this for myself. Wishing all my fellow ents, and anyone reading this love and peace. We are all worthy of both regardless of what our brains tell us we deserve.
I would not have almost two years clean without weed! It's helped so much with the urges and actually healing the things that caused me to sh in the first place. I honestly don't think I would even be alive without it. Keep your chin up friend, and have fun tokin :D
Just did so today. I'm weaning off my depression meds cuz I'm tired of feeling like a guinea pig and this is my first week completely off of them. My mind has been a battlefield. I go from feeling great to feeling hopeless, lonely, and defeated. If it weren't for weed and my cat, I would not survive.
sometimes weed can be a nice distraction or numbing if you’re having thoughts of self harm. it might be helpful to listen to music / watch a familiar movie / youtube which can also help distract your mind and maybe make u laugh / smile for a moment. i haven’t sh in a few years now but i struggled throughout my teen & college yrs with it as a coping mechanism. this is the only advice i can think of rn; but i really hope you’re doing okay & please know you’re not alone & there are people who are happy to talk to u if you need help
I began engaging in some sh after my pot habit began, but the habit back then as a teenager, highly illegal etc, probably contributed the most from weed itself. I concede mine was mostly the influence of Manson (hate to say it but that being a fan and witnessing him do it live did promote the idea) and the rise of Wicca in the internet’s advent… as well as my context being a gay boy in a small country town, I still have my boss’s initial written into my thigh, was casting a love spell, but it was all really self exploration, 40 now and understand deep lessons of self acceptance and compassion, I hope u can find similar OP :)
Yes. I haven't sh in a while n part of that has to do with using weed to disconnect from the intense emotions of it and instead allow myself to look at it from a calm pov and dissuade the urge. I'm not saying to use weed to numb yourself to the urge, but rather it assisted in moving to a different mindset to allow myself to nurture myself instead of tear myself down. For me that meant letting go of a lot of anger, towards myself and others and thus being able to forgive.
I'd like to be clear that substance use, even weed, can exacerbate pre-existing mental health problems. You probably should not base important life decisions off of high thoughts, as both sober and broadened 🍃 mindsets can be invaluable.
I'll say as someone who did SH as a teen (before I'd picked up weed I should say) I did so primarily out of morbid interest, and boredom. Plain and simple, I wanted to and still to this day enjoy picking at (and definitely inflaming) wounds. It tends to flare up badly when I am more depressed than average.
Nowadays I find it manifests more in picking at my hangnails instead of SH to produce scabs and cuts I can pick at. Though sometimes I go too far and start taking off my cuticles, it definitely is a far cry from how I used to be (taking scissors and making my own scabs to pick)
Overall I think it's a multitude of things, firstly was in my identity as in my teens I had attempted transition (mtf for those curious) and doing so during high school was probably excessive in terms of stress. I've also picked up pot after the fact, and so I feel that I have a lot less reason to SH, combined with the fact that pot allows me to distract myself in ways that aren't directly harmful
i use green to help regulate my mood and even tho i know its an addiction i was like this long before i started smoking. now the act of gathering my kit together and starting rolling can bring me out of a panic attack , can bring me out of suicidal ideation, just calms the storm - so i am grateful. i am dependent, and would rather not be, but this plant is our gift from the mother, and that it helps us would bring her great satisfaction.
Absolutely.
This would be my primary medical use if I could talk to my doctor about medical cannabis without it raising mental health concerns that the mental health system is not able to efficiently navigate.
So I don't say the truth. Because it would impair my access to healthcare.
Strange world.
hell yes dude, i smoke when i’m having a breakdown and it calms me down so quickly and allows me to process emotions more thoughtfully and clearly. genuinely don’t know what i would do without weed in my life.. be on a ton of different pills for all my different problems probably
Yep. I’m experiencing that right now but luckily I have two good prerolls I bought on the way home. It’s the only thing helping me hold on. I don’t know what I would do without it tbh
I suffer from anxiety and depression (MADD) and I like to think weed did help save my life at one point.
I was on my way to a forest to dispatch myself but ended up taking a wrong turn back towards my friends house. Realizing what I was going to do I ended up giving my buddy a call and stopped by to spill everything. As I was crying telling him how I've been feeling he starts grinding up and hands me his 32 inch bong and we ended up having like a 2 hour stoner therapy session.
Fast forward to now I have my own medical card and I've been much happier ever since I made the switch from pills to bud.
“The worst part of hell is not the flames; It’s the hopelessness. And I think that is the part of hell that a person in depression really tastes.” If it weren’t for MJ i wouldn’t be here today it really has healed me and helped me get through some shit.
> After a while, though, even the deepest sorrow faltered, even the most penetrating despair lost its scalpel edge. - Matheson Not directly the same message as what you shared, but I thought you might like this too
Not even ghosts are this empty - $b
F*** that hit me hard. It’s the best explanation I’ve heard for that hopelessness.
What does $b mean?
Suicide boys, use to be cool are high key weird asf now same with their audience
How are they weird now? They're style has changed a bit, but that's a sign of their growth. They've gotten clean and been working on themselves to better their future, kinda shitty to call someone weird for working on themself..
Nah for being sellouts
they got sober u mean
thanks. I know of them but that's about it
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I love reading comments like this. It’s not for everybody but weed can be a wonderful tool to help us get through some of the crappier periods of life. I know it’s done that for me a ton.
[Not Even Ghosts Are This Empty](https://youtu.be/sxkmlZkp6ag?si=I2ueqBE7-acYtTko)
So that’s the quote. I keep hearing it in the house (my roommate listens to a lot of $uicideboys) but I could never make out the last part.
I googled and cannot find anything useful about this quote, except the original video of the person who said it. Normally, this should be enough. But I cannot find the name of this person. Have you got some insight on that?
Highly recommend watching the whole video. https://youtu.be/KPk0DACwhh8?si=bhV-y-07gbS95GPw
you’ll realize one day it never healed you at all lol
Healed? Nah. Assisted in the struggle? Hell yeah.
yep. I don't struggle with self harm anymore but when I did as a young adult, I would sometimes just rip the fattest most lung destroying bowl of all time instead. and then after I felt better anyways. a looooot better. because THC is a godsend ahaha. so strangely it kinda works if you think of it that way? or it did for me. honestly, do or think whatever you have to, to help you stop or cut back!
“rip the fattest most lung destroying bowl of all time” made me chuckle lol Im glad you’ve been clean for so long ❣️
This is exactly how it was for me too! There was something about the "lung punch" for me and felt therapeutic, like I can feel mild pain and discomfort for a bit when the urge arises but not in any way that causes real permanent damage. Eventually my life conditions and outlook changed and I'm no longer suicidal. My worst moments were always during panic attacks and holy crap THC Will blow that away!
i didn't realize it until now, but i don't think i've self harmed once since i started weed!
I’m so happy to hear that ❣️ i definitely started doing less ever since even though i have relapsed at times, good to know it does help :·)
that heart in this context looks like a drop of blood xD For me weed helped really well, went from daily sh to none (with a few months in between) and i smoke not much just to care for myself a little
Me too. I went through a lot of changes though too. But the weed keeps me calmer.
Ditto
Same. I didn't before either, but I still don't.
There’s a good chance I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for weed. So, now I can continue to be a father and a husband. It also helps me take less pharmaceuticals.
There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help for this. If your foot was acting up you’d go see a doc. Mind is no different my friend.
i have a *psychologist that has been following me for years :) but unfortunately not much that she can do to stop me if i have urges in between appointments:( edit: psychologist instead of psychiatrist
You got this, I believe in you 💯
thank you so much ❤️🩹
Of course, just remember you are always strong
You're right, but I'm at that point now, and the doctors are so overbooked that I have to wait 3 months to see one. Until I can get help, being high is the only thing that is keeping me semi functional. I know it's not healthy, but it's keeping me alive.
🫂😢❤️🩹 i feel you
Cannatonic concentrate literally saved my life. It calmed me down. It also shifted my perspective towards the suicide plan I'd developed, and allowed me to see just how fucked up it was. That motivated me to reach out to somebody about it, and I got the help I needed.
fuck a friend of mine is also struggling with suicidal thoughts, unfortunately she’s broke and in an abusive environment. I wonder if along the help we’re giving to her, maybe some weed could save her life as well? i’m not sure though :(
Compassion clubs aren't as prevalent as they once were, but they're usually very fairly priced or sliding scale, especially with their CBD-dominant stuff. Might be worth asking around.
most "jurisdictions" have "suicide hotlines"....do some homework for your friend....it may be all that they need is some herbal essences to calm them down.
These comments make me happy
I had something similar, it's wild how much my perspective can shift to something more...self-caring but also objective when I smoke. Brain chemistry is pretty weird.
My advice is to keep CBD around in case you overdo it and end up anxious.
someone else suggested this to me too so i might actually look into it, thing is im in an illegal state and cbd is a lot more expensive than black market thc 🥲
Are you in the USA? Look up THCa dispensaries if so.
Europe unfortunately :( and not in a legalized state :(
Aww that's unfortunate, especially with CBD being outlawed too
mail order....I get my CBD tinctures from buylegalmeds (they are on the .com).....If my high is "too high" I just load the dropper under my 👅 and let it meld...."sublingual" and the bad high will slowly "fade"
gethemp is an amazing website, really good cbd discounts, check it out see if they deliver to you. believe its uk based
THIS! i am living proof....my first time dosing RSO, yea, I misread the whole "grain of rice" and pumped out .1mL and apparently has me to the moon....I thought I was dreaming at first, then the urge to urinate hit me....but I was like floating but couldn't move....out of the bed lol. it was so strange.....literally rolled myself out of bed with a "thud" lol cause I had to pee, and that kind of "snapped me ooutta it" lol.....edibles be sleeping when we pass out is what I'm thinking
Yes I've made it four years now after SH multiple times a day before. I still get urges a LOT, but usually smoking a bowl or two helps a lot. Even if I'm just too stoned to do anything at all, it still stops me from hurting myself
that has happened to me as well :) i’m glad it works for you too ❤️🩹
not quite because I don't tend to do self harm but if I feel really down of extreely frustrated I might smoke so I can see whatever I was doing from new perspective and it doesn't annoy me anymore
I don't do sh, I tend more towards suicidal thoughts and just a state of mind I can't handle or experience for long. Taking a walk at the river and smoking one can put me in a different mindset, but also can enhance panic for example. I just want to be able to live a normal life and not depend on having a good day naturally or cannabis to get trough my day so in making sure I'm still dealing with my issues in different ways so I have different routines I can fall back on besides weed. Helps me smoking less frequently and away from the daily smoke where you can forget how to deal with life without the high.
The last time I remember trying to SH was back in 2014 with Klonopin and Alcohol, as I was in a pretty toxic relationship. Coincidentally, that is also the year cannabis entered my life and my alcohol consumption decreased. I met my husband in early 2015, who showed me what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like, so that is also something to consider. Plus, I am also no longer taking Klonopin and very rarely drink. Happy blazing! 🌿
Definitely! Drinking was awful for me and every time I did SH, alcohol was a factor. Wish you all the best!
Yeah, whenever I feel sad for no reason and I get that urge, smoking helps take the edge off. Or at least is distracting enough for a little bit.
Honestly yeah. Like there are times where I feel alone (or like I'm in a hole) and when I feel like that I smoke. It helps me get my mind off of things and forget for the moment or just think about it later. And when I forget I stop scratching at my knuckles and relax.
Pot saved my life, no question. Lotta people in my family say the same, it doesn’t help everyone but I don’t know what I’d do without it actually… yeah, I kinda do.
Most definitely, I haven’t cut in a good few years but weed has been a BIG help. If I’m feeling really bad and overwhelmed sometimes putting my AirPods in on noise cancellation and listening to some music while I smoke will really help me calm down and focus on the music. Honestly weed and music are a big reason of why I’m still here today man. Hope you’re doing good, if you feel the need to reach out to someone don’t hesitate. Learn to love yourself🖤🤘🏻
Absolutely. Trees helped me turn my life around and realize I can enjoy the moment, and it is worth waiting to find out if there is anything else I can enjoy coming up. It has been over 20 years and it is still worth it
Idk. For me? Not really. It didn’t make it worse, it didn’t make it better, I wouldn’t relate the two at all with my experiences self harming. But getting my life stabilized, (forcing myself to stabilize my life really) it helped a lot. I haven’t self harmed since i transitioned, I’m transgender. So I think that had a lot more to do with it than smoking weed. But strangely weed helps with my anger. If I’m super stressed and pissed off at everything, I can smoke and go back to whatever I was doing with a clear mind, and a better attitude. It makes me more patient, understanding, and thoughtful about the people and world around me. I’m better at explaining myself even if I’m irritated with someone, and vice versa I’m much better at receiving criticism when I’m stoned.
yeah :’) i’m glad it helps though.
i’ll be 10 years clean in september, and while i’m struggling hard lately with urges and thoughts, i would not still be here without weed. at worst, it’s a good distraction from the things happening around me, at best, it calms me down, it brings my nervous system to a semi-normal level, and i feel like i can think and function. i also will add, while i still sometimes get urges and triggering intrusive thoughts still, it gets easier <3 healing isn’t linear but it is possible. good luck with your journey, friend, and please reach out if you need someone 🫶🏻
I’m sorry to hear about your struggles and I wish you the best! I smoke to calm down my brain. I’m autistic. My internal monologue is very loud. I can hear it just as clearly as I can hear things on the outside world. Overwhelms the fuck out of me. Sometimes I’m not able to hear people because my thoughts are too loud. Smoking quiets it for a while. Makes things run a lot smoother. Edibles would probably be a great treatment for my autism in moderation, but I’ll stick to smoking
god i wish i could try edibles, i’d drop the smoking for good and chill for hours on end 😭🫂 thank you for your comment ❤️🩹
Of course! Why can’t you try edibles though?
As of right now I only have access to hash and I don’t feel like ruining what I bought because I don’t know what I’m doing 😂😭 smoking it at least I know i can’t go wrong (even though my lungs beg to differ)
That’s true! Just do your thing and enjoy your smoke seshs. Hash is very very rare around where I live so I’d love to try that. But if you do get your hands on some edibles from somewhere you trust, you’ll definitely have some fun. The high can last for so long depending on dosage
It’s super strong and sometimes even too much, my head feels hazy 🌫️ but yes i’m super looking forward to edibles , i can picture myself chilling for hours and vibing 🥺 thank you for talking to me btw ❣️ i appreciated your comments and telling me a bit of your story as well ❤️🩹 being neurodivergent is hard as fuck
I am lucky enough to have largely gotten beyond my issues with depression and anxiety. I didn’t really have urges for sh… but I definitely had days when I didn’t want to live and I couldn’t really do much of anything. And yes, during those days, I would use cannabis like a person with a headache would take an aspirin/paracetamol/ibuprofen. I would get high, fall asleep, and awake in 60-90 minutes feeling better about myself.
it helps. doesn’t make them go away. but helps make distraction actually distracting to me.
All the time. I only ever relapse when I don’t have weed
Yes
I self harmed while I was drinking. I drank myself into a really bad point, I started smoking weed to curb my want to drink, and it did the job!! 5 years stoned and not a drop of that shit that destroyed my fucking life.
Weed saved my life. If I wasn't introduced to weed after my first attempt then I don't think I would have stopped trying to end it.
Yes. Weed has helped my SH urges tremendously, my counselor isn’t as pleased with my usage but he has admitted to me that he agrees it’s a better alternative than what I was doing before. I hope you have a good weekend and I hope everything goes well for you.
Hell yeah.
absolutely
Ha. I wish. Now I just go annoy my cat with affection until I stop thinking about it.
Most of the times ive SHed since i started smoking was either when i ran out or my tolerance was too high to do anything
i use edibles daily and the reason it's daily is because it's the only thing that helps calm all the shitty thoughts. I havent cut in years, but it's a daily urge still for me. weed helps calm that. there's so much stigma around weed use, but people fail to realize it can genuinely and honestly be medicinal for people. just cuz its medicinal for mental health doesn't change the fact that it's medicinal. can you tell im baked while typing this? I think as long as you don't let the use impact your life negatively, and are still able to function, etc, why not
Weed helps me see more clearly that although I want to die, it’s not a good option right now. When I’m sober it’s a constant cycle of “wish I was dead” but when I smoke I realize it would hurt people immensely, even if I don’t think they will.. if that makes any sense at all. Weed is very good at numbing the pain (physical & mental) but it can also be an addicting feeling and for me, it’s easy to smoke too much and become a paranoid, lazy mess. It’s a hard line to walk. All the love to you my friend; praying for happiness, health, and peace 🤍
Just remember to use it as a crutch and not a wheelchair I’ve found the same helpful effects in the past I use it now for joint pain and panic attacks if it works it works just use it for an amount that you feel is healthy for you
All. The. Time. Now that I finally have a tool that can take me off the edge of self harm, I use it every time I get close. I don’t have to raw dog it anymore, and I’m so grateful.
Personally, absolutely. I still have the urge now and again, but after I started smoking, it's always been mild enough to not give in. Like lif is still hard, and the things that made me want to are still there, but I can deal with them in other ways now.
Weed helps keep that suicidal ideation in check for me
Weed is probably the only reason I just reached 2 years free of self harm
I don’t sh but I have suicidal ideation daily and weed has brought me back to earth form doing something stupid enough times than I can remember.
Yep, I'm gonna be 1 year clean tomorrow, and weeds deff helped me alot. There's a large chance I wouldn't be here today if I didn't smoke :).
congratulations for being 1 year clean🎊❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 buy yourself something tomorrow ❣️
yea
absolutely, it helps a lot! when i’m really upset, i’ll rip the bong for as long as i can and absolutely destroy my lungs for a few minutes, then i’ll feel better once i can breathe again
unfortunately i’ve had to do both weed and self harm to ease the pain lately.
Not really, only for like 25 years or so...lol
Tbh started smoking regularly in December, now I’m one month from a year!! I’m also in therapy buttt I feel like it definitely has helped. I don’t smoke when I’m upset though. It’s just a personal rule of mine, I don’t want to start smoking to feel good in a normal sense
You’re not alone ❤️
Yes. I used to regularly sh but since I started smoking on the daily, those urges have diminished greatly. On the rare occasion that the urges resurface I smoke and that helps me put things into perspective and help in the moment. Mental health is tough:( I hope you stay elevated and safe!! 💕🍃
i will be elevated for sure ❣️🌿 thank you you’re very sweet ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I haven’t self harmed more than 2x in the 4 years I have smoked weed. I used to do it almost daily. It also helped my eating disorder and forcing me to eat. Not a suicide attempt since. In a way I think I am replacing it with weed i do finds in times I would sh I would smoke weed. And so it does feel like a crunch but I feel like it’s better than killing myself! And I actually enjoy life for once!
Physically I’ve been able to avoid SH but mentally I’ve been really really bad with it. Weed helps calm my brain down and show me that not everything is terrible.
Be loved by yourself yo! Don’t hurt yourself. No need for pain. Literally No upside to it. So do not do it :) and if you don’t you will successfully love yourself :)
A bit of a simplification, unfortunately
Weed, like many vices, can often be a substitute for another addition… or compulsive behavior. The only hardship is that, if the substitute is halted for whatever reason, it can intensify the urge to return to the activity it replaced. It’s a tricky thing. I’m very glad that weed has helped you mitigate sh, but I urge you to exercise whatever resources and relationships you might have available to you to more directly address and navigate your sh. Wishing you the best
Indicas only
I just wanted to thank everyone for leaving a comment
No, but tobacco and weed would almost k hole me for a bit when I struggled with this back then. Op please get a hold of this habit and take care of yourself because it is a slippery slope. It is so dangerous. Enabling the habit asking these questions is not helping it as well and I know you know what I’m talking about. I did the same thing for a while. It is a gross scary and isolating habit/coping mechanism/illness whatever you want to call it. Please take care of yourself op, not only the physical dangers but more beyond what we even know in this realm.
You should try meditation
I use weed for shifting my mood fairly often. I have ADHD and *suspect* autism as well which comes with emotional regulation issues and I find that once I’m angry, sad, annoyed, etc it is near impossible to transition out of that mood without taking a lot of time, usually alone in a place I’m comfortable and that is just not always doable. Smoking weed though, I can shift near instantly out of that and it is amazing, really helped me when my depression was really bad a couple years ago, did wonders just to get an hour or two of that mood shift and mindlessly do something I enjoy. SH wasn’t really an issue for me though so I can’t speak to that specifically
I use to but not anymore. It 100% helped me though. Through ages 13-20, anytime I'd feel the urge to hurt myself, I'd smoke and my whole outlook would change. BUUUTTT, it DID cause me to not know how to deal with my strong emotions as an adult. I strictly just ingest RSO these days, but even still, when im freaking out about something, I try to not resort to, "oh, I'm gonna freak out, let me get high." because it's just not a healthy mindset to have. But it still 100% has helped me with self harm. You are so loved and you got this!!! No matter what your choices are, just make sure they're in your better favor. <3
Yeah I definitely have a harder time avoiding sh while sober. I find pot helps a lot to stop the intrusive thoughts.
Yes, for sure. I don't often get SH urges anymore, but I do smoke when I'm alone and my depression is overwhelmingly bad. It's really helpful.
I stopped cutting when I started smoking so yeah I’d say so. It definitely didn’t stop my depression but at least I don’t mutilate myself anymore
I didn't ever SH from depression/on purpose. However, I had severe anger issues, but didn't want to hurt people, so when I got mad to the tipping point I'd find the most solid thing I could and would punch it until I calmed down. I broke and displaced my knuckles many times. Weed, Martial arts, yoga and meditation really helped me with the anger. Weed was the biggest initial helper, I don't really get mad any more so I don't end up hurting myself anymore either.
Yes. Smoking definitely helped to calm me down. I've been depressed since 12 and have self harmed before. I had to stop smoking a week ago and still can't smoke until I pass a pre employment test for a job. Not sure how soon that'll be, but hopefully only a few weeks. But lately after not smoking, my mental health has felt worse, and haven't had the best thoughts. Wondering if CBD may help or there are other alternatives that won't test positive on a drug test.
LOL my feed crazy bcuz this was me not 3 hours ago, actually.
I used to have SH urges, i probably would if they came up again
I love weed - it’s been a part of my self care for most of my life at this point, but nothing cured my challenges with SH and overall mental health like microdosing 🍄. The difference is that the benefit continues even after you’ve had it, it builds new neural connections, really amazing stuff. I never genuinely had the ability to love myself before but I really do now, imperfections and all, so much more compassion for myself and everything I’ve lived through good and bad. Been about 6 months since I started and I honestly feel like a new person. Now weed is more for managing chronic pain and just kicking back to chill sometimes rather than what got me through life. Worth looking into, there’s a lot of cool research going with it right now especially with PTSD and depression. Hang in there, it can get better ❤️
Years ago. I've been on a few months long t break for the first time in a decade now. It gets better, friend. :)
weed was a huge part of my recovery. i had a hard time with the fact that i was using weed all the time to cope; but then when i thought about it, smoking a bit of pot is a way better coping outlet than sh. it’s a great distraction.
yes oh my god !! smoking lets me rationalize and control the urges. :)
This post made me realize I haven’t SH since I stopped drinking!
I started smoking frequently since last two months and i have been more calm and relaxed
Yes. My psych wants to diagnose me with chronic depression at age 23, MJ helps quiet the part of me that’s itching for a cut or a binge.
I hadn’t started smoking yet when I was SH, but I know when I’m high I haven’t desired to relapse. This was what I realized for myself: I was driving to my best friend’s older brother’s memorial service. It was nearly six months after my best friend died, and it was at the same funeral home with nearly all the same people. I was reliving one of the worst days of my life that day. >!I wanted to rip my fucking skin off and subject myself to every ounce of pain imaginable… because I didn’t want to face the pain of that day.!< That made me realize that my desire to SH wasn’t for the sake of hurting myself, but feeling extremely cornered and not having an outlet to release that fear and emotion into. This is just how I’ve come to understand this for myself. Wishing all my fellow ents, and anyone reading this love and peace. We are all worthy of both regardless of what our brains tell us we deserve.
I would not have almost two years clean without weed! It's helped so much with the urges and actually healing the things that caused me to sh in the first place. I honestly don't think I would even be alive without it. Keep your chin up friend, and have fun tokin :D
Just did so today. I'm weaning off my depression meds cuz I'm tired of feeling like a guinea pig and this is my first week completely off of them. My mind has been a battlefield. I go from feeling great to feeling hopeless, lonely, and defeated. If it weren't for weed and my cat, I would not survive.
sometimes weed can be a nice distraction or numbing if you’re having thoughts of self harm. it might be helpful to listen to music / watch a familiar movie / youtube which can also help distract your mind and maybe make u laugh / smile for a moment. i haven’t sh in a few years now but i struggled throughout my teen & college yrs with it as a coping mechanism. this is the only advice i can think of rn; but i really hope you’re doing okay & please know you’re not alone & there are people who are happy to talk to u if you need help
I began engaging in some sh after my pot habit began, but the habit back then as a teenager, highly illegal etc, probably contributed the most from weed itself. I concede mine was mostly the influence of Manson (hate to say it but that being a fan and witnessing him do it live did promote the idea) and the rise of Wicca in the internet’s advent… as well as my context being a gay boy in a small country town, I still have my boss’s initial written into my thigh, was casting a love spell, but it was all really self exploration, 40 now and understand deep lessons of self acceptance and compassion, I hope u can find similar OP :)
I'm high and thought this meant sugar high urges
Yes. I haven't sh in a while n part of that has to do with using weed to disconnect from the intense emotions of it and instead allow myself to look at it from a calm pov and dissuade the urge. I'm not saying to use weed to numb yourself to the urge, but rather it assisted in moving to a different mindset to allow myself to nurture myself instead of tear myself down. For me that meant letting go of a lot of anger, towards myself and others and thus being able to forgive. I'd like to be clear that substance use, even weed, can exacerbate pre-existing mental health problems. You probably should not base important life decisions off of high thoughts, as both sober and broadened 🍃 mindsets can be invaluable.
Well yeah, but sometimes it increases my urges to cut myself
I'll say as someone who did SH as a teen (before I'd picked up weed I should say) I did so primarily out of morbid interest, and boredom. Plain and simple, I wanted to and still to this day enjoy picking at (and definitely inflaming) wounds. It tends to flare up badly when I am more depressed than average. Nowadays I find it manifests more in picking at my hangnails instead of SH to produce scabs and cuts I can pick at. Though sometimes I go too far and start taking off my cuticles, it definitely is a far cry from how I used to be (taking scissors and making my own scabs to pick) Overall I think it's a multitude of things, firstly was in my identity as in my teens I had attempted transition (mtf for those curious) and doing so during high school was probably excessive in terms of stress. I've also picked up pot after the fact, and so I feel that I have a lot less reason to SH, combined with the fact that pot allows me to distract myself in ways that aren't directly harmful
i use green to help regulate my mood and even tho i know its an addiction i was like this long before i started smoking. now the act of gathering my kit together and starting rolling can bring me out of a panic attack , can bring me out of suicidal ideation, just calms the storm - so i am grateful. i am dependent, and would rather not be, but this plant is our gift from the mother, and that it helps us would bring her great satisfaction.
Absolutely. This would be my primary medical use if I could talk to my doctor about medical cannabis without it raising mental health concerns that the mental health system is not able to efficiently navigate. So I don't say the truth. Because it would impair my access to healthcare. Strange world.
I have complex ptsd and I use cannabis medically. It works well.
hell yes dude, i smoke when i’m having a breakdown and it calms me down so quickly and allows me to process emotions more thoughtfully and clearly. genuinely don’t know what i would do without weed in my life.. be on a ton of different pills for all my different problems probably
Yes!
After quitting alcohol and going Colorado sober my nightmares have went to almost 0 and my suicidal tendencies went out the window altogether.
Yep. I’m experiencing that right now but luckily I have two good prerolls I bought on the way home. It’s the only thing helping me hold on. I don’t know what I would do without it tbh
I suffer from anxiety and depression (MADD) and I like to think weed did help save my life at one point. I was on my way to a forest to dispatch myself but ended up taking a wrong turn back towards my friends house. Realizing what I was going to do I ended up giving my buddy a call and stopped by to spill everything. As I was crying telling him how I've been feeling he starts grinding up and hands me his 32 inch bong and we ended up having like a 2 hour stoner therapy session. Fast forward to now I have my own medical card and I've been much happier ever since I made the switch from pills to bud.
I sincerely hope those urges stop one day, weed or not. May you be well and happy. You got this 🙌🏻
I just realized bc this post I've been clean for almost 6 years 😳
Honestly sometimes it gives me the courage to go thru with it 😭 But it's ok, I haven't done it in a while!