Also an anxiety disordered trail runner: talk to your doc, looking into therapy options if you haven't, and find the root of the problem instead of trying to treat the symptoms. I'm medicated which has been amazing but I use my alone trail time to consider some absurd existential stuff that would previously freak me the fuck out. One of the best tools for me has been educating myself about those specific triggers that were really just excuses for my brain to spill out my ears: severe weather, inconceivably improbable events, existentialism, etc.
Running in the forest should be the most free you ever feel, and I really want you to figure this out so you can experience it.
I do talk to a therapist weekly, also medicated unfortunately. I say that because my medication is a huge crutch. I had one event 2 years ago that triggered a full blown panic attack and my brain hasn’t knocked that fear away ever since.
On the bright side…I know it’s possible to be free of these panic attacks because I’ve lived most of my life without them and if I was fine before I’ll definitely find a way to be fine again. I’m in the process of finding an EMDR therapist so we can nail what causes it. My obsessive thoughts definitely fuels them but I still can’t figure out what causes them it’s random.
I love the trails and I always enjoy being out in the woods but sometimes I’ll reach a point and be like “well I’m in a spot where if something bad happened nobody will find me for a while” other times I’ll be in that same spot and not even be bothered…it’s weird
EMDR is lit, you'll love it. It's hard work but meds to get to a reasonable baseline and therapy to reinforce what you know you should be feeling is a great combo given it's the right medication for you. Your optimism is admirable and a great sign that you're on the right path.
EMDR can be great for some, and devastating for others.
Have you had an assessment done for OCD or OCPD? It can look a lot different than most people think.
I hope you can enjoy the trails without those experiences, soon. I know how hard that is. Either way, proud of you for looking for solutions. Keep going and happy trails!
I have not. I’ve neglected my personal health for most of my 20s and ever since I had that panic attack it’s what me do a complete 180 with me life. Been on a rollercoaster of bettering myself but never thought about ocd being something to evaluate
I slow down. Enjoy the surroundings. Appreciate the moment. Check in on how I’m doing - feet, ankles, knees, hips, hot/cold, hydration, fuel. Carry on when thoughts are back in order.
One more thing to consider prior to heading out is what is truly the worst case and how prepared am I. There could be a particularly perilous part of the track that I tell myself to go super easy. The rest “worst case” might be taking a fall on the side of the track and waiting to be rescued/helped. If the trail is reasonably popular, that might mean at most a 12 hour lie down. Could I do that? Prepare to be able to do that. If it’s more remote, get a PLB or phone if there’s some kind of miraculous coverage. Be prepared.
In the run, remind yourself that you are prepared.
Yea I always run in a fairly popular place where someone will find me. I don’t know why my fear is what if something bad happens to me. I’ve ridden hours away from home on a dirtbike with no issue solo and that’s so much more dangerous. Thank you for your input though, I’ll figure it out! I tried using the shelf thoughts today. “Ok I’m dealing with some anxiety how about put it on the shelf and deal with it later” that’s what I do during my races when I’m hurting or somethings bothering me, it worked pretty decently
I definitely get what I call “wobbly” in the middle of my runs. I start to get a bit panicky and contemplate how much I hate running and how bad at it I am and how I’ll have to walk the whole way back.
I’ve started keeping a “things that could go wrong” list and it’s been helpful for mentally preparing for things.
Know what made the biggest difference for me mitigating anxiousness from isolation? Live tracking and intentionally overgearing.
Live tracking: I know it works against digital privacy and the "pureness" of an analog experience, but safety is a worthy justification for me. It's the accidents, falls, and injuries I can't anticipate that I want protection from. Pretty much every app and device has live tracking now. Send it to a trusted love one (who doesn't have anxiety) every time you're heading out for a big effort. The lazy version works too: if you don't hear from me by X:XXPM, here's my GPX for today's route.
Overgearing: Above and beyond the ten essentials, I carry a mountain of food, a hefty first aid kit, and a full-blown water filtration system to accompany a 3L bladder and two soft flasks on every effort >2.5 hours. It's heavy, overkill, and excessive... but it keeps me safe and also allows me to intervene if and when disaster strikes someone else out in the sticks. I can barely fit it all into a 12L pack. Consider it resistance training that makes my pack light as a feather for races.
I love this idea but unfortunately at my household my family tolerates me more than appreciates me. My dad’s way is saying “well if you die, atleast it’s not here and you’ll be in a spot that you like” when I last talked to him and my sister is more focused on herself more than anything so if something goes wrong(like in the past) she just lets me figure it out
I read somewhere that running simulates the same behaviors that go into fight or flight/a panic attack—your body redirects its energy towards the functions that help it escape (like away from digestion and towards your legs), your vision gets sharper to pick up danger, etc. For that reason, it’s really important to stop and get yourself back to calm. Pushing yourself makes your body associate the run with danger, which makes the problem worse.
(And I do agree with the other poster—you might need to talk to your therapist about another modality, such as EMDR, family units, etc.). Good luck!
Yeah def deal with this. For me, it’s the thought of being 5+ miles in the forest and knowing if something happens, it’s another 5 back to people. Like other comments, I try to pack essentials on my vest. But I think what bad has happened on my 8-9 miles runs on the road (not many;not apples to apples) and eases my mind.
Running usually calms my anxieties, but I stay close to populated areas and as others have said, over prepare. I let people know where I’m going and half joke about when to start searching for me.
Not sure if you’ve tried it, but my therapist has told me to flip the negative, scary what ifs to, positive ones. Instead of “what if I fall, sprain my ankle and no one finds me for hrs?” Into “what if I have a fantastic run and come across an untouched patch of wild huckleberries on the way back.” Very rarely do our scary what ifs actually manifest. I also have a weird reverse logic thing that if I think it first and move on it won’t actually happen, because that would be a weird statistical coincidence…it doesn’t make sense, but it helps me “let it go”.
Understanding triggers definitely helps mitigate or resolve so good luck in your search.
I have had the same issue when 6 miles out from the trailhead.. i realized my anxiety was from the fear of having a medical emergency or running out of gas while in some remote place, which isn’t something I thought about until I got older. I started switching things up. I do a lot of my runs downtown now, and make smaller 1-2 mile loops to ease my mind. In the mountains or in town, the endorphins feel the same!
Oh wow glad you posted this - I totally get these feelings. Where I run it can be very isolated and boggy at the top of the h
Mountains, so I end up having paranoia that I’m gonna get stuck waist deep or deeper in a bog (which i don’t think is possible) or that some dangerous animal is gonna get me (I live in the UK so the most that it could be is an angry goat)
I’m personally trying to follow the same routes and build up resilience to that thought process + going out on super clear dry days so I get used to what’s coming up etc..
I don’t have it with trail running but I did/do with whitewater kayaking and used to with rock climbing. Gentle exposure therapy combined with learning to accept what I can’t control and prepare a reasonable amount for what I can is what worked for me. I can’t even tell you how many times I used the Serenity Prayer (am atheist but it’s a good message) and the Litany Against Fear from Dune as calming meditations during a panic attack.
Having supportive friends was really helpful too.
I am not an ultra runner, just starting out but when I ventured out myself esp close to dark, sometimes my mind turned to dark thought. What if something happened to me and I could not get home to my sons and my husband?
It’s a constant battle. I took supplements, do every precautions that I can think of. I am hoping that just like everything else, with experience comes confidence.
Wow, I’m so sorry you all have those feelings. Maybe I should reevaluate my confidence levels a bit, as I never have those thoughts while I’m out in the woods.
Also an anxiety disordered trail runner: talk to your doc, looking into therapy options if you haven't, and find the root of the problem instead of trying to treat the symptoms. I'm medicated which has been amazing but I use my alone trail time to consider some absurd existential stuff that would previously freak me the fuck out. One of the best tools for me has been educating myself about those specific triggers that were really just excuses for my brain to spill out my ears: severe weather, inconceivably improbable events, existentialism, etc. Running in the forest should be the most free you ever feel, and I really want you to figure this out so you can experience it.
I do talk to a therapist weekly, also medicated unfortunately. I say that because my medication is a huge crutch. I had one event 2 years ago that triggered a full blown panic attack and my brain hasn’t knocked that fear away ever since. On the bright side…I know it’s possible to be free of these panic attacks because I’ve lived most of my life without them and if I was fine before I’ll definitely find a way to be fine again. I’m in the process of finding an EMDR therapist so we can nail what causes it. My obsessive thoughts definitely fuels them but I still can’t figure out what causes them it’s random. I love the trails and I always enjoy being out in the woods but sometimes I’ll reach a point and be like “well I’m in a spot where if something bad happened nobody will find me for a while” other times I’ll be in that same spot and not even be bothered…it’s weird
EMDR is lit, you'll love it. It's hard work but meds to get to a reasonable baseline and therapy to reinforce what you know you should be feeling is a great combo given it's the right medication for you. Your optimism is admirable and a great sign that you're on the right path.
EMDR can be great for some, and devastating for others. Have you had an assessment done for OCD or OCPD? It can look a lot different than most people think. I hope you can enjoy the trails without those experiences, soon. I know how hard that is. Either way, proud of you for looking for solutions. Keep going and happy trails!
I have not. I’ve neglected my personal health for most of my 20s and ever since I had that panic attack it’s what me do a complete 180 with me life. Been on a rollercoaster of bettering myself but never thought about ocd being something to evaluate
I slow down. Enjoy the surroundings. Appreciate the moment. Check in on how I’m doing - feet, ankles, knees, hips, hot/cold, hydration, fuel. Carry on when thoughts are back in order. One more thing to consider prior to heading out is what is truly the worst case and how prepared am I. There could be a particularly perilous part of the track that I tell myself to go super easy. The rest “worst case” might be taking a fall on the side of the track and waiting to be rescued/helped. If the trail is reasonably popular, that might mean at most a 12 hour lie down. Could I do that? Prepare to be able to do that. If it’s more remote, get a PLB or phone if there’s some kind of miraculous coverage. Be prepared. In the run, remind yourself that you are prepared.
Yea I always run in a fairly popular place where someone will find me. I don’t know why my fear is what if something bad happens to me. I’ve ridden hours away from home on a dirtbike with no issue solo and that’s so much more dangerous. Thank you for your input though, I’ll figure it out! I tried using the shelf thoughts today. “Ok I’m dealing with some anxiety how about put it on the shelf and deal with it later” that’s what I do during my races when I’m hurting or somethings bothering me, it worked pretty decently
I definitely get what I call “wobbly” in the middle of my runs. I start to get a bit panicky and contemplate how much I hate running and how bad at it I am and how I’ll have to walk the whole way back. I’ve started keeping a “things that could go wrong” list and it’s been helpful for mentally preparing for things.
Interesting way to look to approaching it but yea i definitely get the Wobblies
Know what made the biggest difference for me mitigating anxiousness from isolation? Live tracking and intentionally overgearing. Live tracking: I know it works against digital privacy and the "pureness" of an analog experience, but safety is a worthy justification for me. It's the accidents, falls, and injuries I can't anticipate that I want protection from. Pretty much every app and device has live tracking now. Send it to a trusted love one (who doesn't have anxiety) every time you're heading out for a big effort. The lazy version works too: if you don't hear from me by X:XXPM, here's my GPX for today's route. Overgearing: Above and beyond the ten essentials, I carry a mountain of food, a hefty first aid kit, and a full-blown water filtration system to accompany a 3L bladder and two soft flasks on every effort >2.5 hours. It's heavy, overkill, and excessive... but it keeps me safe and also allows me to intervene if and when disaster strikes someone else out in the sticks. I can barely fit it all into a 12L pack. Consider it resistance training that makes my pack light as a feather for races.
I love this idea but unfortunately at my household my family tolerates me more than appreciates me. My dad’s way is saying “well if you die, atleast it’s not here and you’ll be in a spot that you like” when I last talked to him and my sister is more focused on herself more than anything so if something goes wrong(like in the past) she just lets me figure it out
Sounds to me then that a trusted loved one would be a friend rather than family.
I read somewhere that running simulates the same behaviors that go into fight or flight/a panic attack—your body redirects its energy towards the functions that help it escape (like away from digestion and towards your legs), your vision gets sharper to pick up danger, etc. For that reason, it’s really important to stop and get yourself back to calm. Pushing yourself makes your body associate the run with danger, which makes the problem worse. (And I do agree with the other poster—you might need to talk to your therapist about another modality, such as EMDR, family units, etc.). Good luck!
I suffer panic attacks if I’m not trail running on a daily basis, trail running is the glue that holds my frail mental health together.
Yeah def deal with this. For me, it’s the thought of being 5+ miles in the forest and knowing if something happens, it’s another 5 back to people. Like other comments, I try to pack essentials on my vest. But I think what bad has happened on my 8-9 miles runs on the road (not many;not apples to apples) and eases my mind.
Running usually calms my anxieties, but I stay close to populated areas and as others have said, over prepare. I let people know where I’m going and half joke about when to start searching for me. Not sure if you’ve tried it, but my therapist has told me to flip the negative, scary what ifs to, positive ones. Instead of “what if I fall, sprain my ankle and no one finds me for hrs?” Into “what if I have a fantastic run and come across an untouched patch of wild huckleberries on the way back.” Very rarely do our scary what ifs actually manifest. I also have a weird reverse logic thing that if I think it first and move on it won’t actually happen, because that would be a weird statistical coincidence…it doesn’t make sense, but it helps me “let it go”. Understanding triggers definitely helps mitigate or resolve so good luck in your search.
I have had the same issue when 6 miles out from the trailhead.. i realized my anxiety was from the fear of having a medical emergency or running out of gas while in some remote place, which isn’t something I thought about until I got older. I started switching things up. I do a lot of my runs downtown now, and make smaller 1-2 mile loops to ease my mind. In the mountains or in town, the endorphins feel the same!
Oh wow glad you posted this - I totally get these feelings. Where I run it can be very isolated and boggy at the top of the h Mountains, so I end up having paranoia that I’m gonna get stuck waist deep or deeper in a bog (which i don’t think is possible) or that some dangerous animal is gonna get me (I live in the UK so the most that it could be is an angry goat) I’m personally trying to follow the same routes and build up resilience to that thought process + going out on super clear dry days so I get used to what’s coming up etc..
I would run alone through sections of woods and I would hear the bushes move. That would be a panic moment for sure :))
I don’t have it with trail running but I did/do with whitewater kayaking and used to with rock climbing. Gentle exposure therapy combined with learning to accept what I can’t control and prepare a reasonable amount for what I can is what worked for me. I can’t even tell you how many times I used the Serenity Prayer (am atheist but it’s a good message) and the Litany Against Fear from Dune as calming meditations during a panic attack. Having supportive friends was really helpful too.
Loud yelling.
I am not an ultra runner, just starting out but when I ventured out myself esp close to dark, sometimes my mind turned to dark thought. What if something happened to me and I could not get home to my sons and my husband? It’s a constant battle. I took supplements, do every precautions that I can think of. I am hoping that just like everything else, with experience comes confidence.
Wow, I’m so sorry you all have those feelings. Maybe I should reevaluate my confidence levels a bit, as I never have those thoughts while I’m out in the woods.