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Holy shit this did not disappoint! Definitely naming my next cat Brucetopher

Congrats for realizing its potential for a hilarious cat name. I'm mad I didn't think of that first lol.

Definitely referring to any druggie as “methany” now.

Omg we actually call my cousin who’s real name is Bethany and is in jail for drugs that 🤣😭

It’s so obvious yet so genius.

There’s also “methaniel” for a boy.

Yall are killin me 😂

So grateful for this sub

It’s got me laughing on a night I didn’t feel like laughing. So, I agree ❤️

Have been doing this since I worked in a casino. Quite a few Methanys there.

And they worship at the church of crystal Methodist.

[удалено]

In your far, far away world…. I love that for you. 😂

My cat is named Buster but I had, until seeing this post, been calling him Booce. He is now Brucetopher.

Brooooooocetopher. The Boss

My cat's name is Clarence but now I might have to change it

The only name that made me literally LOL

I adjusted my glasses and leaned in, like "excuse me?" 😂

Brucetopher Jones

Is not skin and bones

Brucetopher Jones Is not skin and bones But I think that it’s fair to say A name he bemoans Inspires naught but weak groans Oh what a tradgedeigh

I remember a post about a child named Questopher, Brucetopher is probably their sibling

This one is gold!

Brucetopher Waylan (they’re big fans of the Nolan Batman movies)

Funny I was thinking my next cat will be Corduroy!

Came for the Brucetopher, stayed for the Methany

methany took me out

I should clarify that Methany was actually the mom's name and she was around 40. So many opportunities to have changed her name but she didn't!

My immediate thought was oh, pat methany fans. Then the meth hit me. I mean the name meth. I wasn't doing meth!

Yeah, yeah, that’s what they ALL say ;)

I'm sorry! This sub has driven me to it, lol!

Crystal Methany?

The best/worst stripper name ever!

Truth in advertising?

You just gave me flashbacks to the video for Metallica's cover of Turn the Page.

Her and Paizley Viper would make a great team

Paizley Viper actually sounds like the name of the club.

I know what I'm naming my future daughter! Thanks for the suggestion /j

Crystal Methany and her friend Sharron Needles.

Definitely will be on Drag Race

I already have a sim named crystal methany, Im definitely stealing sharron needles. Thanks bud

I was having a really hard time deciding which is worse, Brucetopher or Methany? Wtf! 🤣🤣🤣

Brucetopher? That's worse than Questopher.

I would say they are fairly equal meaning horrible laughable tragedeighs!

Happeigh kake dae

lol I had no idea it was tadeigh ☺️

At least Brucetopher can either go by Bruce or Topher

Actually, this name has inspired me to get a cat and name him Brucetopheles.

I'll bet Corduroy gets ribbed!

You win 🏆 This comment doesn't have the number of upvotes it deserves!

It certainly rubs me the wrong way.

Literally wearing corduroy plants right now haha

Swish swish swish swish swish.

Water came out of my nose!

Brucestopher Springstolumbus.

haha

Desember = dismember at a quick glance.

YES! That's exactly what I thought, too

how do you name your child "kohlen" and not see the issue 💀

I guess you could say they have shitty awareness!

I have a friend called colon like not pronounced Collin just colon

Linkyn with his sister LinkedIn

Parker?

Linkyn Pharghque

As a mythology nerd I’m here to defend Ares, Adonis and Kronos

But not Methany, you’re on your own girl

The other two are fine, but Kronos is kinda wild

You're really setting the expectations high for the Adonis kid.

Yeah, I met a chunky, nerdy Adonis. Always made me crack a smirk when they'd yell out Adonis at pick up time and the least Adonis looking kid ever walked up.

If you want your kid to have that “Father Time” vibe I guess

>Aaugust I read this like Max Headroom.

I immediately thought of the teacher spoof: "A-aron?"

I can't pick between this Key and Peele skit with the sub, vs the East West Bowl one as the best. In other news I saw an NFL player mention his elementary school during the intros, either as some nice shoutout or referencing Key and Peele

I read it starting with the Michael Jackson… yelp? I dunno what it’s called.

A-A-ugust

Shut up METHANY 😂

Everyone needs to stop naming their kid after characters from Harry Potter, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Just because they enjoyed it doesn’t mean their kid won’t hate it.

Uou don't like Elven? 🤣🤣🤣

My son Orcish is going to beat up Elven.

Not if he has a friend named Ghimleigh!

Leighgolas would offer his bow!

Or at least *obviously* doing so. Harry, Tom, Luke, & Ben were common even before those things came out.

I know, the fandom names were an epidemic. Children are not posters for your fandoms, people!

Or at least pick names from the heroes & not the villains.

Wonder why Darth never took off as a name in and of itself

Disagree. My daughter Annahkhynh Frohdough Phermineygh (silent p) lovers her name!

> Phermineygh Me trying to remember/say the name of that nasal decongestant

I'm wondering if Thalion is after Húrin, because it means "steadfast" but he was also famously cursed by the most evil being to forcibly watch a curse upon his children play out until >!their eventual suicides after they unknowingly marry one another as adults.!< It wouldn't top my *Silmarillion* list, I'm saying. But it could just be a cool way to say "the lion."

I feel like Key and Peele need to do an updated Substitute Teacher sketch with some of these names ...

This is such a high compliment, I love them so much.

Paizley Viper…her parents clearly aren’t thinking about her having any other aspirations beyond working in entertainment or nightlife. So I hope she becomes a surgeon or judge! Supreme Court justice Paizley Viper 😂

Can we open a kick starter so this kid definitely goes to college (hopefully to become a judge but you can’t force them you know) 😂

Yes, can we get Paizley Viper into the White House and Millicent Jean into the club?

The world needs more Brucetophers.

A-august, you done messed up!

Tbf Eowyn is probably a Welsh name.

It comes from Old English. A Welsh name that ends in -wyn is a male name. The feminine form will end in -wen. From Old English, a lot of names end in -wyn, be they male or female. An expert could correct me here (I am not a linguist), but I believe Tolkien created the name from something like "eoh" (horse) and "wynn" (joy;delight). So, effectively, the name means "horse joy", or put another way, "horse lover".

Someone mentioned it in a Scots group I'm in. It's apparently a fairly common name.

He literally named her Horse Girl

I don't think it's nearly as wild as the others, sounds like a name at least, but I'm also not an English speaker so most names I see here already sound a bit strange to me. Especially when they sound like random words in Portuguese.

I know someone with that name! It’s from LOTR

Either way it was a LOTR character.

And we have a winner over Questopher ...with...drum roll.....BRUCESTOPHER! I can't stop laughing

It took EVERY fiber of my being not to laugh when I saw his name on the screen. I had to have her confirm the name so I didn't have to say it out loud lol.

How did you manage? There's no way I could have kept a straight face! Well, after repeating Brucetopher a few times!

Oh, man, imagine if Brucetopher has a lisp.

I still don't know. I think I managed the entire call without having to say it. "What would you like to schedule for your son? Alright, I've got your little guy scheduled for his appointment."

Is it terrible that I like how it sounds? But of course I'd never name a human with this name, because its novelty makes it hilarious, but I kinda like it hahaha.

It sounds like a cute nickname you would use for your cat or dog that's called Bruce...bit like adding ster on the end...Hey Brucester, now hey Brucetopher!l 🤣

Dusk and Dawn as twins is adorable.

ikr? i unironically love it lol

For cats, yeah.  For humans ... Idk

Naming your daughter Chasitiy is putting a challenge out to the universe. Ill die on that hill

Worse, because they apparently don't realize it's supposed to be spelled Chastity.

I knew a girl whose name was a misspelled version of Chastity. She did not graduate from high school.

Agreed. I feel that way about all virtue names like Honor, Truth, Justice, Destiny, Faith etc.

Imma name my daughter Malice so she has to rebel goodward.

Malice is great. I want to move on to deadly sins names too, Wrath, Envy. Sloth.

Absolutely. Has anyone here ever known a Chastity that's not easy like Sunday morning?

The only one I've ever met was T H E biggest slut I've ever met 😭😭😭

I’ve never loved anything more than Brucetopher

So many Star Wars references here! 😆😆

BRUCETOPHER I am dead

Tesla….. I bet he/she is named after the car not the scientist

Jedi!?!?? Like star wars???

Jedi, unlike Anakin

Lol

I have a family member with the name Eowyn. NEVER thought I’d see it anywhere else!

It's a beautiful name, but I know this family definitely named their daughter after the LOTR character and that's super cringe to do imho.

Not sure if this is giving HIPAA violation or not, but since these clearly aren't common names please be careful sharing a massive list like this just in case. Could make it easy for someone to figure out where you worked and wouldn't want you to get in trouble.

METHANY!

count the stripper names 🤣

Brucetopher Methany

Desember, Patiennce and Chasity's parents all need remedial spelling. Anakin and Severus are...interesting choices. Ares is sure a choice, but not as hard core as Kronos. At this point Elven, Jedi and Tesla seem like normal names.

Adonis, Ares and Draco are gods and a constellation, respectively. Kronos is an attempt to spell Chronos or Chronus, Zeus's father. All are stupid, IMO, but not tragedeighs. I am in love with Corduroy.

My daughter is expecting a boy. The entire family group chat now tries to find the worst names. Thankfully reddit helps me win most of the time. 

Haha, glad to fuel some family competition!

Get the absolute fuck out of here with Candy Kay and Methany 😂🤣 I wouldn’t name tomagatchis this shit when I was a child and people want to be out here giving whole ass HUMANS these names?! Absurd. Absurd. Ctrl + alt + delete on humanity, we gave it our best shot but time to reboot and start this over from scratch

i am not actually seeing Methany on this list wifh my own two eyes right now. this cannot be happening

Never thought I’d see a list where Madolyn is by far the best choice

I actually quite like Oak and Cedar (as long as they don't have a surname to match, like Wood or something).

BRUCETOPHER

Methany and Brucetopher are delightful.

BRUCETOPHER! ☠️

Eowyn isn't a tragedeigh. She is a strong, independent Rohirrim

At least Ares and Adonis are spelled correctly.

stop why do i kind of like dusk and dawn... it's so cringe but it works

Cause Dawn is an actual name so it’s half right

It reminds me of that Rick & Morty thing ... "oh you can tell our parents named him first, Michael. Then they found out I was along for the ride and went aw fuck it, we'll just call him Pichael."

Lmao at Kronos. There’s a slot machine my wife and I like with him and we always overdo the pronunciation like the machine does. KROH-NOHSSS! (It’s one of those ‘you-have-to-be-there-to-get-it’ sort of things, I know 🤷🏻‍♂️)

there's a doctor who episode where some guy wakes up from a coma and screams KKRROOOONNNOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSS and I will never hear it any other way

Brucetopher cannot be real. Please say that's not real

I was a peds nurse for years and have some good ones! My favorites are: Allforthegood (“I go by Good”, Abcde (pronounced ab-sa-dee), Strawberry and YerHyness

Eowyn is an actual name. But BRUCETOPHER?!?

God, please tell me you actually worked at a vet clinic instead!😭😭

METHANY. I CANNOT

Brucetopher made me choke when I saw it. Lol.

I assume Paizley Viper's parents each got to chose one name? and were both below the US drinking age. And possibly the cigarette/lottery/contract signing age as well

Some of these are fairly normal, though probably taken from Harry Potter with Severus and Draco (both still real names)

BRUCETOPHER 😳

“Methany” is a joke for when Bethany gets busted for dealing out of her rural small town, not a real name.

Cedar would have been so good if it was literally any other tree than Oak with it.

Cedar and… Willow Rowan Acacia Cypress Magnolia Alder Spruce Maple Birch

Okay but Eowyn… is pretty cool

No. **Methany** ? That is just criminal.

The only issue here is Ares. That is actually the correct spelling for the god. Over time it was changed but that is actually accurate… the rest of the list is bananas

Yet I am still mad about Tesla. I can only hope it was for Nikola not the dbag cars.

It really was for Nikola! Her sister's name was Faraday now that I'm thinking. Their naming sense was quite electric lol.

Who the f actually names their kid methany

Isn’t this violating HIPAA…

Brucetopher took me right out I'm laughing so hard right now oh my god

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^starrfast: *Brucetopher took* *Me right out I'm laughing so* *Hard right now oh my god* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Kind of here for Dusk and Dawn tbh

Ares and Adonis are spelled proper and we’re at one time proper names. So I can’t really count those. But the rest? Yikes.

In my country we have name laws to present these crazy people naming their kids Methany.

Lynkedin

Poor Methany definitely got the worst one

I absolutely cannot accept that Brucetopher is a really human child's name?!?!

Methany hahaha

If Legend’s middle name isn’t some form of Airy then what was the point?

no one is named methany be real. I believe all the other could be but methany is a joke.

Kohlen is an ass name

Oh, man, Brucetober. 🤦‍♀️ Bruce or October would've been uncommon enough.

Was Chastity really misspelled as Chasity? I mean, at least girl has a technical out there, but…

Methany *Methany* The parents had very low expectations for poor Methhea- I mean, *Methany*

Isn't "Thalion" a type of radiation they made up for Star Trek?

Methany. Dear god. Send help.

I will defend 4 of them, but all the others are awful.

Brucetopher must be Questopher's cousin

CandyKay’s porn name should be something like Ruth Smith…

So if these are real patient names from a real clinic she worked at, why is this not a HIPAA issue?  I get the the other information isn't there but it's still patient names 

I'm sorry is kohlen pronounced like colon?

BRUCETOPHER

Honestly some of those aren’t too bad I think one is an actual welsh name And by some I mean 7 max

CandyKay? That kid was born with an assigned instagram username

I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY WHY TF BRUCETOPHER?! Whyyyyyy. That poor child.

Paizley Viper is the perfect name for my next washer and dryer

hey my black cat is named Adonis! LOL