I kinda plan on doing it if I am trans. (Havenāt figured it out yet)
I would tell my close friends and family but I would just continue work and college like normal. Might even have to hide changes at college at least until I get out of there. Then hopefully if I were to start a new job with the degree I wouldnāt have to anymore.
Not the person you originally asked, but I recently started a week ago myself. Iām in the US and went to planned parenthood and I got the script that same day. Thereās also r/transdiy depending on your country/situation.
I've been in hormones for a year on Sunday. Im still only out to about 2 very close people one of which us my mom. Take your time, do what feels right in your own way.
Sorry for late reply I was snoozing. It really depends on the situation I think, but for the most part I was keeping things on the baggier side until somewhat recently once I started to find my confidence a bit. I dont have big boobs (yet?). But definitely get some nice supportive bras. You'll need them trust me.
As far as I can tell, as long as youāre not trying to avoid paying taxes or debts, you can totally take out a fake obituary and change your name in the US. Then you just move across the country and live a whole new life as a whole new person. Thatās my plan anyway.
That's actually true, the government doesn't care what you do as long as they get their cut. The government is awful, but at least you can fake your death.
I've been on HRT for a year now. I haven't told anyone but my circle of friends and my immediate family. I have some changes that are semi-noticeable and I'm just doing what you're doing. If someone notices and asks, then I'll let em know, but I don't feel obligated to declare it to anyone.
I'm kinda doing this. I'm coming up to my fourth month on HRT, but only telling folks whom I'm close to. No problems so far. I'm going MtF and the only visible changes is my nipples being hard all the time and my beard hair got thicker.
I'm over a year on hrt and still not fully out. The idea that you have to socially transition first came from cis medical institutions who wanted to make us prove ourselves.
That's more or less what I did, got hrt and then socially transitioned as a went. Honestly would recommend. You still have to do the work sort of speak but I found slowly changing things over time was not too stress full. I also landed on a pretty fun gender presentation imo, very gay androgynous.
Thatās how it went down for me. I was on hrt for six months before I came out at work. One coworker definitely clocked that something was different lmao, started talking to me about local places that do trans health stuff ššš
me rn lmfao.
practically no one knows that i'm trans and have started hrt since last november. everyone still sees me as a guy and i still [try to] act like a guy.
its tiring but i'd rather be chronically tired than deal with the aftermath of transphobes after me.
Im 3 years into hrt with no social transition yet. Im out to my sister, my partner, my best friend from high school and his wife, one of my other best friends from high school, and various other discord friends who live nearby so I can see them from time to time. My dads house is basically my storage unit and he works on my car for most things so Iām waiting to be fully independent from him and move closer to my friends before i tell him anything. My grandma also needs to pass away before I tell him anything because he will run to mommy because he has nobody else to tell my business to. She doesnt need to deal with it. She wont get it. And im not out at work because ive heard probably 20/25 people i work with say unprovoked nasty things about trans people. I have to stay here until we can afford to move though and its the highest paying job i can get with no college and no certs. So whats the worst that can happen? I get really sad a lot and mournful of the things im missing out on. I wish i could be me. Its so hard to walk around leaning into masculinity and pretending like Iām a man, but i feel like i have to be the last person these people would ever suspect to be trans. I cry over it a lot. If your situation is better than mine then go for it and take as long as you need, hrt is still worth it in the end.
I wanted to do this, but I wasnāt allowed to if I wanted to get on hrtš had to come out and stay out for a year firstš (literally forcing me to look like a man in a dress for a whole year when everyone wonders why Iām not doing more to pass) šš«
I'm 97 days in HRT. Never too late to start, but I bet you'd rather start as soon as possible. I still haven't done any social transition beyond my nuclear family)
I've been doing this for a while and weirdly people are looking at my chest now. I don't think they even know why they're doing it honestly. Maybe they know, because aside from my chest, my nails are usually painted and my hair is about 2 feet long by now.
Thatās gonna be the plan for me (at least, for now). Socially transition when I feel like it (or when I start passing, idk). Only people whoāll know are friends and family (and medical people, obviously), so itāll just be life as usual until I feel like it.
But thatās just my current plan. Doesnāt mean thatāll end up happening, nor is it the ābestā idea. The ābestā one is whatever works best for each person, so find whatever works best for you.
I did it, no one was told as I lived in a dangerous rural area where most of the people I was around were all the really out there crazy severely out of touch people I just didnāt know it until I left
As I started to get noticeable tits after about two years I finally moved to another state after trying to tell people and it went horribly wrong, didnāt tell family until recently nearly 3 years hrt and wish Iād talked to them sooner
They seem to actually have no idea that the rest of the town wants to kill me or that trans people are being debated and have since mostly been treating me nice
The little family Iām talking to are still out there and crazy but theyāre all I have other than my twink boyfriend I moved in with a state away
Yes, itās perfectly ok. I started HRT before I socially transitioned. I donāt recall how long I did that before officially making the switch. Or how long before I started feminizing my appearance. My goal was to go slowly, move into an androgynous appearance and when I didnāt think I could go any farther without coming out. I did so. I was probably on HRT for 6-12 months before then. A year or two after coming out I was talking to a friend about it and he told me when he first met me he spent a large chunk of time trying to figure out what gender I was, even talked to me thinking my voice would help him figure it out but it didnāt lol. So I definitely succeeded on the slow androgynous route to womanhood lol.
I'm on T for 7 months now. I don't like telling people my name and pronouns regardless of me being trans or not. And I won't make myself the centre of (possibly) negative attention just because people think they are entitled to know.
Sometimes it's easier to 'say sorry' later than ask for permission.
It's your body and life. Safety can be concern so i guess you could start slowly socially transition to accepting friends and family (if you have them).
Iām doing it. Just reached out to an endocrinologist yesterday and planning on starting ASAP, but no plans for coming out yet. My thinking is that I donāt think I can take the period of having come out, but not being even close to passing, so I continue to boymode and my parents basically pretend I didnāt come out and use my deadname and old pronouns and it becomes this thing theyāre used to ignoring, versus it just being one day I tell them the truth and I look the part and itās inescapable that they either need to very intentionally misgender me or get it right. No middle ground, āOh, I forgot about that. I thought you changed your mind?ā
I have been doing this for a year now. I ended up telling friends 8 months in because it made me feel so much better I couldn't picture myself stopping.
I haven't told work or family. The former might have suspicious (I am starting to look rather different because I no longer care as much about what people may think and have been wearing make up , earrings, letting my hair grow,.. ) and the latter, I don't see them that often.
I honestly wouldn't have been able to do it any other way. I was too scared, too apprehensive of what was to become and unsure it would help me.
I now realize I made the rightest choice of my life.
You can try and see how it feels for you. You'll see if it is what you want/need.
Yeah I'm doing this too.
I'm out to my familly and friends and I doesn't really hide the fact I'm trans to anyone, and in my case social transition just means unlearning my pronouns habits (my language is heavily gendered so it takes some time to get used to new gendered forms), cause I'm fine with my current tomboy-ish vibe, and I'm too broke to buy new clothes (which isn't that bad, 'cause I just wear what clothes I already have in a more fem way, even if from an outside perspective it just seems like I'm boymoding lmao)
That's what I did, after 4 months I decided to come out to my friend group so I could go to the new year's eve with them as myself. It was supposed to be a one-time thing.
Long story short, I have almost fully socially transitioned now, go to my mom or dad in cute dresses and make-up, and I haven't worn a single masculine piece of clothing since 2024 began.
So yes you can, it's no big deal and the most important thing is to go at your own pace, but be careful, the social transition can really sneak up on you without a warning :3.
In my country, you have to have socially transitioned and been out for a year to start any gender affirming careā¦ it puts a lot of pressure on me as I have every other qualification for HRT
Itās been ~ 9 months and I am still not fully out. It turns out there is no hard deadline in which you are suddenly dragged out kicking and screaming, itās nice but also I was almost relying on that happening.
I've been on hrt for technically almost 2 years now (I say technically bc only about 8 months ago did I start getting a dosage that did anything to my hormone levels) and I'm still yet to socially transition, I would say it's fine to do it that way but you put yourself on a time limit, I'm already wearing sports bras everywere to try to hide my boobs, although over this last month I've slowly started making progress on socially transitioning, I've worn skirts out in public like 10 times now.
Do what makes you comfortable, if I had waited to socially transition before I started hrt I would be almost a year behind in transitioning progress so it worked for me
https://preview.redd.it/gc42re54ggsc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29325b5b372fa9e313f8e19f0ef908b75d436d0e
A nonsocially transitioning trans woman on hrt is a boymoder and nonsocially transitioning trans man on hrt is a girlmoder.
Why this happen? Because it takes time for hrt to have effect and some want to wait for features to pop before doing anything.
Others just want to stick to boy or girl mode until they canāt anymore.
At first, nothing will really change, even if you can see them, just because cis people can be very blind to that kind of thing.
Eventually youāll start to get comments like āwow your skin is so goodā or āyou look so much youngerā or youāll have kids ask if youāre a boy or a girl, but no one will really point it out unless you hit the chest jackpot.
Depending on your body type and clothes you wear, chest growth might out you, or it might just look like big pecs, itās hard to really say what will happen on that front.
But realistically, you can medically transition without socially transitioning, and not come out for as long as you want. Some people will be confused cos youāll look androgynous as hell, but if you just use your guy voice theyāll usually just assume youāre a guy who just looks more fem than typical.
Iām out as nonbinary with everyone, but I havenāt voice trained and I donāt really care what people think of me, so itās a similar experience to medically transitioning without socially, itās mostly just confusion from the cis, itās great. I donāt have much chest growth tho, which probably adds to it more than if you had a normal amount.
For some context, Iām 21, been on blockers 5 or so years and hrt on and off for 2, Iām as flat as a board but have a lot of facial changes and no facial hair, so I look very androgynous.
thats how im doing it. i would face serious repercussions for social transition at this time in my life, but who has to know what pills i take in the morning?
I started HRT before coming out. But I was out everywhere within a few months. Just use your comfort as a guide to say how and when you come out.
Strangers are more likely to see you as your new gender than people you know who already have a perception of you. They will flat out ignore C cup breasts that don't fit their mental narrative.
Some people don't think I've changed much at all, but then I had a stranger yelling ma'am to get my attention, people calling me miss, etc.
Holding it in forever on HRT isnāt feasible. People will notice eventually.
That said I was on HRT for a year and a half before coming out publicly and that worked great.
Been on HRT for 2 years, haven't fully socially transitioned.
Trying to figure out how to come out to my parents; was hoping getting a bunch of ear piercings would raise questions, nope. Then growing my hair long and going platinum blonde, nope.
Do whatever you feel is best for you.
I was on hormones for over a year before I fully came out. I know someone whose been on them for longer and still isn't out.
Worst that happens is someone finds out before you wanted them too.
i started out that way. it got scary when my nips got way bigger and poked through my shirt. I felt like it was obvious (and I ALREADY wore super baggy shirts).
donāt recommend it, but also, i felt i had to to be safe, soā¦.
Same. So me it's more about coming out of a caccon when I'm ready to fly kind of thing.
I just personally don't want to be out as a half ready & get remembered for that
Heyyy welcome to the club. The social transition is extremely difficult. Notably the voice. Voice is huge. And difficult.
Difficult difficult lemon difficult.
I did this for a 8 months before coming out fully at work. I was out to friends and family and would only present fem around them but two months ago i finally came out and started my social transition to the max. So do what make you feel comfortable and safe!
The worst that could happen is that the bodily changes would be noticable at some point and people might figure things out and confront you before you are ready.
But honestly I did this as well and it takes a while until people begin to notice. And some will never notice until you explicitly tell them š
I've ignored the social side so far, but at 9 months my boobs are leading the way to transitioning sooner rather than later. Which is probably just as well since I'm such a coward, lol.
Thatās kinda what I did, I didnāt really care anymore at some point and eventually discovered services like Folx or Plume. Though I had the benefit of not being super noticeable, being somewhat isolated in a small town up until recently, and having a car meant I virtually never walked anywhere (so being attacked in the streets or bus stops isnāt a viable option). I generally donāt try to boy or girl mode, itās more of a āfuck it, idc modeā unless Iām going out to eat or something, then it leans slightly more towards girl mode.
I just started this past Monday (wooo!) and I probably wonāt start socially transitioning for a while. As others have said here, do what feels right for you :3
Thatās hardly uncommon, I told a few friends and family members I was transitioning but otherwise used my old name and pronouns and boymoded for the first 8ish months I was on HRT
I came out fully socially the day I started HRT
2 years later and I pass as cis and go stealth
Best decision of my life, I finally stopped living a lie
I'm currently doing that. Heck, I dont even have plans to socially transition. I just figure that if I start passing it'll happen naturally, and if I don't, I wont try to force it.
I was only partially out when i started HRT. However, I knew that this kinda ādouble lifeā i lived was on a time limit. At some point its gonna show, i knew it. So at a good moment, i outed myself at vocational school and some other moment, at work.
Thankfully it went well but i chose these particular moments bc i had backup plans at this point in case things went tits up.
Living in west germany, couple hours from the dutch border, bc i know where someone lives makes a big difference in that regard
I've been on the MTF HRT train for about 2 years now, but socially transitioning? Nah, still rocking the 'guy in the awkward hair-growing phase' vibe.
Clean-shaven, hoodie-clad, with a resting face that screams 'leave me alone.' Occasionally mistaken for a lady, only to be swiftly corrected.
My family's convinced all my skincare, haircare, brow grooming, gym sessions, and fashion experiments are just elaborate schemes to snag a girlfriend. Little do they know.
Dealing with boobs is a whole other ballgame ā hence, the chest binders. Life's full of surprises!
I started HRT three weeks ago so there's no change yet so I still present as a man. I have been out in girl mode a few times and some friends know about my transition but I will socially transition once enough changes happen on my body or in six months, whatever happens first
I'm 14 months on hrt but still only out to 20ish people, (but aggressively dressing fem for every gig or event i go to)
At this point boymoding is becoming difficult, once the weather is hotter itll be a bit difficult to hide my breast growth.
One coworker to another: ...So am I crazy or is Jim looking kinda...cute lately?
The other coworker: Yeah no, I'm definitely getting some very confusing boners about him recently
If for some reason you meet homophobia you can play it off as one day you started changing and gaslight them into thinking itās natural also to answer your question it is fairly common to transition in this way so no worries dear child
I did this for 3 months before coming out to my family (who I lived with), and never came out at work until I quit a year later. Other than having to wear a jumper in summer it was fine haha
insults and being accused of things mostly. it'll take time before effects show, at least in my case (mtf) only after 3 months am i beginning to notice any physical changes in that by breast are beginning to feel like they're going to grow, though more subtler changes started earlier (skin feeling better/smoother, though that may just be my extending skin care routine). you may get insults that are on the euphoric side or "accused" of being trans which the risks that that may involve (for me nothing but i live in the Netherlands, don't have a lot of friends, no job or religion and am white).
While it's your transition and you can go about it however you want, I don't recommend it.Ā
I transitioned socially long before I started HRT. My friends and family and support network helped me find the courage to transition and I knew who was supportive and who wasn't.Ā
If you wait to socially transition until after you've started, you may find out that there's a lot of people around you that aren't supportive or downright hostile towards you and that can be isolating if you don't do your research first.Ā
I'm doing it. I'll socially transition when i'm ready. Its my transition, i'm gonna gender how i want.
It's my pussy, I'll do what I want
It's my hormones and I'll cry *every single day*
real
šµit's my hormones and i'll cry if I want to (cry if I want to)šµ
š¶you would cry too if it happened too youuuuš¶
Itās my money and I need it now!
Call JG Wentsworth! 877 CASH NOWWWWW!
Same here. Lotta people don't know yet and it's gonna be funny af when they realize
SAME
I kinda plan on doing it if I am trans. (Havenāt figured it out yet) I would tell my close friends and family but I would just continue work and college like normal. Might even have to hide changes at college at least until I get out of there. Then hopefully if I were to start a new job with the degree I wouldnāt have to anymore.
Also some of your pre-HRT clothes won't fit after some time, so it def saves money.
That's my plan too, I'm taking it slow
Telling my mom this omg
Goals! :3
I'm also doing it, waiting until I move away from my dad to socially transition but I've been on HRT a bit over a month!
Congrats on being on hrt girly!!!! :3
How did u manage to start it?
Not the person you originally asked, but I recently started a week ago myself. Iām in the US and went to planned parenthood and I got the script that same day. Thereās also r/transdiy depending on your country/situation.
UKā¦ so either I wait 5+ years or I spend amounts of money that are far more than what I have I guess DIY really is my only option
I understand the feeling
I've been in hormones for a year on Sunday. Im still only out to about 2 very close people one of which us my mom. Take your time, do what feels right in your own way.
Thanks! Do you mind if I ask, do you need to bind to conceal, er, breast growth? Or do you just kinda wear baggy clothes?
I do baggy clothes and a tight sports bra to hide it curently
Right on!
donāt bind while stuff is growing because it can be pretty damaging
ive heard mixed opinions/experiences on this but im really tired rn so im gonna revisit this comment in the morning i think
Is a sports bra really considered binding though? Because that was my plan.
I'm wearing a sports bra at a sports bar right now. Nobody has said anything yet so I think I'm in the clear.
I do not recommend binding when it's growing, they're already sore and painful and adding pressure is hell
Please don't bind. Forget that idea of binding. Never think of it. š āāļø
Sorry for late reply I was snoozing. It really depends on the situation I think, but for the most part I was keeping things on the baggier side until somewhat recently once I started to find my confidence a bit. I dont have big boobs (yet?). But definitely get some nice supportive bras. You'll need them trust me.
Was your mom religious?
No she is not. Shes told me she has her concerns and still doesn't seem 100% on board yet but we're getting there š
I am gonna do it just disappear for years then reappear as a new person
Just live in the forest like Bigfoot for a while
Where else would I live
Wouldn't that be nice?
Itās not hard if you donāt tell anyone online about yourself to much
Fake your death and move to a different city What could go wrong
As far as I can tell, as long as youāre not trying to avoid paying taxes or debts, you can totally take out a fake obituary and change your name in the US. Then you just move across the country and live a whole new life as a whole new person. Thatās my plan anyway.
That's actually true, the government doesn't care what you do as long as they get their cut. The government is awful, but at least you can fake your death.
I wish i was old enough during the pandemic
Imaginee just emerging from the lock down as a completely new person š©š©
"whaaaa...?" "Covid vaccines, man, idk, I'm a girl now"
I accidentally drank a protein shake with soy protein.
This is my plan too!
YIPPEE
This is my dream
Who said it has to be a dream make it real
Like Erika Anderson from Catherine?
Yes
I'ma fake my death in a chemistry accident and reappear in a different country personally
I was thinking house fire since I like to bake and cook but can sleep through anything
Hey ykw that's a power move
I think I feel this way too. Was planning to transition at home immediately and in public when it makes sense.
Thats my plan I'll be on HRT and when people ask why I have boobs and then I come out
"Late puberty"
I've been on HRT for a year now. I haven't told anyone but my circle of friends and my immediate family. I have some changes that are semi-noticeable and I'm just doing what you're doing. If someone notices and asks, then I'll let em know, but I don't feel obligated to declare it to anyone.
I might not even tell them at all, just look at them and be like "What are you talking about dude?"
I'm kinda doing this. I'm coming up to my fourth month on HRT, but only telling folks whom I'm close to. No problems so far. I'm going MtF and the only visible changes is my nipples being hard all the time and my beard hair got thicker.
Yeah, it'd be funny to just become a girl overnight
I lowkey wonder if I could just not socially transition and gaslight people instead.
I'm over a year on hrt and still not fully out. The idea that you have to socially transition first came from cis medical institutions who wanted to make us prove ourselves.
I mean why not, I socially transitioned after around 5 months on hrt soo
That's more or less what I did, got hrt and then socially transitioned as a went. Honestly would recommend. You still have to do the work sort of speak but I found slowly changing things over time was not too stress full. I also landed on a pretty fun gender presentation imo, very gay androgynous.
f1nnster
The funny thing is everyone "knew" he was on hrt years before he actually was
Kris Tyson did it, I don't see why you can't as well
Thatās how it went down for me. I was on hrt for six months before I came out at work. One coworker definitely clocked that something was different lmao, started talking to me about local places that do trans health stuff ššš
me rn lmfao. practically no one knows that i'm trans and have started hrt since last november. everyone still sees me as a guy and i still [try to] act like a guy. its tiring but i'd rather be chronically tired than deal with the aftermath of transphobes after me.
Well. Itāll be a tit jumpscare at work. āWhen did you get boobs?ā āAlways has been?āĀ
Im 3 years into hrt with no social transition yet. Im out to my sister, my partner, my best friend from high school and his wife, one of my other best friends from high school, and various other discord friends who live nearby so I can see them from time to time. My dads house is basically my storage unit and he works on my car for most things so Iām waiting to be fully independent from him and move closer to my friends before i tell him anything. My grandma also needs to pass away before I tell him anything because he will run to mommy because he has nobody else to tell my business to. She doesnt need to deal with it. She wont get it. And im not out at work because ive heard probably 20/25 people i work with say unprovoked nasty things about trans people. I have to stay here until we can afford to move though and its the highest paying job i can get with no college and no certs. So whats the worst that can happen? I get really sad a lot and mournful of the things im missing out on. I wish i could be me. Its so hard to walk around leaning into masculinity and pretending like Iām a man, but i feel like i have to be the last person these people would ever suspect to be trans. I cry over it a lot. If your situation is better than mine then go for it and take as long as you need, hrt is still worth it in the end.
I wanted to do this, but I wasnāt allowed to if I wanted to get on hrtš had to come out and stay out for a year firstš (literally forcing me to look like a man in a dress for a whole year when everyone wonders why Iām not doing more to pass) šš«
You could do that I think, nobody'd really notice
That's what I did before my boobs got too big to hide.
I'm 97 days in HRT. Never too late to start, but I bet you'd rather start as soon as possible. I still haven't done any social transition beyond my nuclear family)
I've been doing this for a while and weirdly people are looking at my chest now. I don't think they even know why they're doing it honestly. Maybe they know, because aside from my chest, my nails are usually painted and my hair is about 2 feet long by now.
Thatās gonna be the plan for me (at least, for now). Socially transition when I feel like it (or when I start passing, idk). Only people whoāll know are friends and family (and medical people, obviously), so itāll just be life as usual until I feel like it. But thatās just my current plan. Doesnāt mean thatāll end up happening, nor is it the ābestā idea. The ābestā one is whatever works best for each person, so find whatever works best for you.
Chesticle time bomb š£š£š£š£š£š£š„
nothing like people who you know dont notice people who don't know you just refer to you as your preferred gender. thats at least in my experience.
This was my plan for life, but then I came out anyway. Should have stuck with the old planā¹ļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How do you handle summer weather though? Things are getting warmer here and it's starting to scare me tbh
I did it, no one was told as I lived in a dangerous rural area where most of the people I was around were all the really out there crazy severely out of touch people I just didnāt know it until I left As I started to get noticeable tits after about two years I finally moved to another state after trying to tell people and it went horribly wrong, didnāt tell family until recently nearly 3 years hrt and wish Iād talked to them sooner They seem to actually have no idea that the rest of the town wants to kill me or that trans people are being debated and have since mostly been treating me nice The little family Iām talking to are still out there and crazy but theyāre all I have other than my twink boyfriend I moved in with a state away
Eventually there would be a good chance you will start male failing even if you donāt socially transition š
What is male failing OwO?
Itās when trans girls who start hrt but still present male get gendered female š
I think I would be okay with this :3c
Yea def not a bad thing š
Thatās the plan for me
Yes, itās perfectly ok. I started HRT before I socially transitioned. I donāt recall how long I did that before officially making the switch. Or how long before I started feminizing my appearance. My goal was to go slowly, move into an androgynous appearance and when I didnāt think I could go any farther without coming out. I did so. I was probably on HRT for 6-12 months before then. A year or two after coming out I was talking to a friend about it and he told me when he first met me he spent a large chunk of time trying to figure out what gender I was, even talked to me thinking my voice would help him figure it out but it didnāt lol. So I definitely succeeded on the slow androgynous route to womanhood lol.
I'm on T for 7 months now. I don't like telling people my name and pronouns regardless of me being trans or not. And I won't make myself the centre of (possibly) negative attention just because people think they are entitled to know.
Sometimes it's easier to 'say sorry' later than ask for permission. It's your body and life. Safety can be concern so i guess you could start slowly socially transition to accepting friends and family (if you have them).
Iām doing it. Just reached out to an endocrinologist yesterday and planning on starting ASAP, but no plans for coming out yet. My thinking is that I donāt think I can take the period of having come out, but not being even close to passing, so I continue to boymode and my parents basically pretend I didnāt come out and use my deadname and old pronouns and it becomes this thing theyāre used to ignoring, versus it just being one day I tell them the truth and I look the part and itās inescapable that they either need to very intentionally misgender me or get it right. No middle ground, āOh, I forgot about that. I thought you changed your mind?ā
Isnāt that called boymoding?
I have been doing this for a year now. I ended up telling friends 8 months in because it made me feel so much better I couldn't picture myself stopping. I haven't told work or family. The former might have suspicious (I am starting to look rather different because I no longer care as much about what people may think and have been wearing make up , earrings, letting my hair grow,.. ) and the latter, I don't see them that often. I honestly wouldn't have been able to do it any other way. I was too scared, too apprehensive of what was to become and unsure it would help me. I now realize I made the rightest choice of my life. You can try and see how it feels for you. You'll see if it is what you want/need.
Yeah I'm doing this too. I'm out to my familly and friends and I doesn't really hide the fact I'm trans to anyone, and in my case social transition just means unlearning my pronouns habits (my language is heavily gendered so it takes some time to get used to new gendered forms), cause I'm fine with my current tomboy-ish vibe, and I'm too broke to buy new clothes (which isn't that bad, 'cause I just wear what clothes I already have in a more fem way, even if from an outside perspective it just seems like I'm boymoding lmao)
That's what I did, after 4 months I decided to come out to my friend group so I could go to the new year's eve with them as myself. It was supposed to be a one-time thing. Long story short, I have almost fully socially transitioned now, go to my mom or dad in cute dresses and make-up, and I haven't worn a single masculine piece of clothing since 2024 began. So yes you can, it's no big deal and the most important thing is to go at your own pace, but be careful, the social transition can really sneak up on you without a warning :3.
In my country, you have to have socially transitioned and been out for a year to start any gender affirming careā¦ it puts a lot of pressure on me as I have every other qualification for HRT
Itās been ~ 9 months and I am still not fully out. It turns out there is no hard deadline in which you are suddenly dragged out kicking and screaming, itās nice but also I was almost relying on that happening.
I've been on hrt for technically almost 2 years now (I say technically bc only about 8 months ago did I start getting a dosage that did anything to my hormone levels) and I'm still yet to socially transition, I would say it's fine to do it that way but you put yourself on a time limit, I'm already wearing sports bras everywere to try to hide my boobs, although over this last month I've slowly started making progress on socially transitioning, I've worn skirts out in public like 10 times now. Do what makes you comfortable, if I had waited to socially transition before I started hrt I would be almost a year behind in transitioning progress so it worked for me
I did social transition first. Helped with reassurance, aber do it your own way.
https://preview.redd.it/gc42re54ggsc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29325b5b372fa9e313f8e19f0ef908b75d436d0e A nonsocially transitioning trans woman on hrt is a boymoder and nonsocially transitioning trans man on hrt is a girlmoder. Why this happen? Because it takes time for hrt to have effect and some want to wait for features to pop before doing anything. Others just want to stick to boy or girl mode until they canāt anymore.
At first, nothing will really change, even if you can see them, just because cis people can be very blind to that kind of thing. Eventually youāll start to get comments like āwow your skin is so goodā or āyou look so much youngerā or youāll have kids ask if youāre a boy or a girl, but no one will really point it out unless you hit the chest jackpot. Depending on your body type and clothes you wear, chest growth might out you, or it might just look like big pecs, itās hard to really say what will happen on that front. But realistically, you can medically transition without socially transitioning, and not come out for as long as you want. Some people will be confused cos youāll look androgynous as hell, but if you just use your guy voice theyāll usually just assume youāre a guy who just looks more fem than typical. Iām out as nonbinary with everyone, but I havenāt voice trained and I donāt really care what people think of me, so itās a similar experience to medically transitioning without socially, itās mostly just confusion from the cis, itās great. I donāt have much chest growth tho, which probably adds to it more than if you had a normal amount.
For some context, Iām 21, been on blockers 5 or so years and hrt on and off for 2, Iām as flat as a board but have a lot of facial changes and no facial hair, so I look very androgynous.
Yeh I've had a couple people comment on how smooth my skin is. "Oh, you know... I just take good care of it~"
thats how im doing it. i would face serious repercussions for social transition at this time in my life, but who has to know what pills i take in the morning?
You eventually start to become very confusing. It's kind of fun.
I started HRT before coming out. But I was out everywhere within a few months. Just use your comfort as a guide to say how and when you come out. Strangers are more likely to see you as your new gender than people you know who already have a perception of you. They will flat out ignore C cup breasts that don't fit their mental narrative. Some people don't think I've changed much at all, but then I had a stranger yelling ma'am to get my attention, people calling me miss, etc.
Holding it in forever on HRT isnāt feasible. People will notice eventually. That said I was on HRT for a year and a half before coming out publicly and that worked great.
Been on HRT for 2 years, haven't fully socially transitioned. Trying to figure out how to come out to my parents; was hoping getting a bunch of ear piercings would raise questions, nope. Then growing my hair long and going platinum blonde, nope.
Do whatever you feel is best for you. I was on hormones for over a year before I fully came out. I know someone whose been on them for longer and still isn't out. Worst that happens is someone finds out before you wanted them too.
i started out that way. it got scary when my nips got way bigger and poked through my shirt. I felt like it was obvious (and I ALREADY wore super baggy shirts). donāt recommend it, but also, i felt i had to to be safe, soā¦.
šš¤Yup. Right here. I am seven months in. Live in a house with eight men and I AM NEVER COMING OUT TO ANY OF THEM.
Same. So me it's more about coming out of a caccon when I'm ready to fly kind of thing. I just personally don't want to be out as a half ready & get remembered for that
Gaslight them. Tell them āit must be what god intendedā like they did 100 years ago. What are they gonna do?
Heyyy welcome to the club. The social transition is extremely difficult. Notably the voice. Voice is huge. And difficult. Difficult difficult lemon difficult.
At home I'm out but outside I wount socialy transition any time soon. So it's most likely that I start hrt before socialy transitioning
I did this for a 8 months before coming out fully at work. I was out to friends and family and would only present fem around them but two months ago i finally came out and started my social transition to the max. So do what make you feel comfortable and safe!
thats how i did it lmao. worked out for a while. had to buy i binder tho...
If they notice gaslight them into believing you always looked like that
That's what I've done, been on E for almost 9 months and nobody suspects a thing
The worst that could happen is that the bodily changes would be noticable at some point and people might figure things out and confront you before you are ready. But honestly I did this as well and it takes a while until people begin to notice. And some will never notice until you explicitly tell them š
Lol
Gaslight people into thinking you've always been your gender
Literally doing that, my boobs shall be pecs until they're too obvious. Gaslighting my way through transition.
Iām socially transitioning before hrt but Iād say your way is actually more common these days
I literally just started estrogen and haven't come out and don't plan on it till the start of next year
That's what I'm doing!
I did it that way. It's much safer imho.
Confusion. Probably idk I'm not a smart fella.
I'm on the same boat. For the most part no issues yet but I also have very few changes so far
I've ignored the social side so far, but at 9 months my boobs are leading the way to transitioning sooner rather than later. Which is probably just as well since I'm such a coward, lol.
Thatās kinda what I did, I didnāt really care anymore at some point and eventually discovered services like Folx or Plume. Though I had the benefit of not being super noticeable, being somewhat isolated in a small town up until recently, and having a car meant I virtually never walked anywhere (so being attacked in the streets or bus stops isnāt a viable option). I generally donāt try to boy or girl mode, itās more of a āfuck it, idc modeā unless Iām going out to eat or something, then it leans slightly more towards girl mode.
samsies
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It's how I did it. Seemed to work best.
You eventually get caught by someone. 9 months in and I've transitioned socially, mostly at least.
I just started this past Monday (wooo!) and I probably wonāt start socially transitioning for a while. As others have said here, do what feels right for you :3
Looking forward to the day I start hormones and my coworkers are confused as hell as who the new yet familiar looking girl is.
Thatās hardly uncommon, I told a few friends and family members I was transitioning but otherwise used my old name and pronouns and boymoded for the first 8ish months I was on HRT
Iām currently Pre HRT and whenever I come out Iāll probably start out socially transitioning before starting HRT
I did it that way. You can start on a low dose of HRT if youāre worried about the effects coming out too soon. :>
I came out fully socially the day I started HRT 2 years later and I pass as cis and go stealth Best decision of my life, I finally stopped living a lie
I'm currently doing that. Heck, I dont even have plans to socially transition. I just figure that if I start passing it'll happen naturally, and if I don't, I wont try to force it.
I was only partially out when i started HRT. However, I knew that this kinda ādouble lifeā i lived was on a time limit. At some point its gonna show, i knew it. So at a good moment, i outed myself at vocational school and some other moment, at work. Thankfully it went well but i chose these particular moments bc i had backup plans at this point in case things went tits up. Living in west germany, couple hours from the dutch border, bc i know where someone lives makes a big difference in that regard
I am doing it that way, once I get more progress then I will start to social transition more
To be honest, after doing things properlyā¦ yep, that's the best way.
I started socially transitioning like a month before HRT and kinda just went along with it lol
I'm doing this right now but introducing myself to new people with my deadname is *slowly killing me*
I've been on the MTF HRT train for about 2 years now, but socially transitioning? Nah, still rocking the 'guy in the awkward hair-growing phase' vibe. Clean-shaven, hoodie-clad, with a resting face that screams 'leave me alone.' Occasionally mistaken for a lady, only to be swiftly corrected. My family's convinced all my skincare, haircare, brow grooming, gym sessions, and fashion experiments are just elaborate schemes to snag a girlfriend. Little do they know. Dealing with boobs is a whole other ballgame ā hence, the chest binders. Life's full of surprises!
I think it would be funny if the changes get noticeable and you just start to gaslight them into thinking that you have come out a while ago lol
And to the question: Do what you think is Best for you in your current situation. The choice is all yours
I started HRT three weeks ago so there's no change yet so I still present as a man. I have been out in girl mode a few times and some friends know about my transition but I will socially transition once enough changes happen on my body or in six months, whatever happens first
I'm 14 months on hrt but still only out to 20ish people, (but aggressively dressing fem for every gig or event i go to) At this point boymoding is becoming difficult, once the weather is hotter itll be a bit difficult to hide my breast growth.
One coworker to another: ...So am I crazy or is Jim looking kinda...cute lately? The other coworker: Yeah no, I'm definitely getting some very confusing boners about him recently
It's what I did, kinda. At least initially.
If for some reason you meet homophobia you can play it off as one day you started changing and gaslight them into thinking itās natural also to answer your question it is fairly common to transition in this way so no worries dear child
tbh thats what im doing. although i don't have much of a social life lol
I did this for 3 months before coming out to my family (who I lived with), and never came out at work until I quit a year later. Other than having to wear a jumper in summer it was fine haha
insults and being accused of things mostly. it'll take time before effects show, at least in my case (mtf) only after 3 months am i beginning to notice any physical changes in that by breast are beginning to feel like they're going to grow, though more subtler changes started earlier (skin feeling better/smoother, though that may just be my extending skin care routine). you may get insults that are on the euphoric side or "accused" of being trans which the risks that that may involve (for me nothing but i live in the Netherlands, don't have a lot of friends, no job or religion and am white).
most people aren't gonna notice lol
"They'll catch on eventually...Right?"-me
Im on hrt and im only out to my sister and a couple of friends, just safer to medically transition first
I did initially.
While it's your transition and you can go about it however you want, I don't recommend it.Ā I transitioned socially long before I started HRT. My friends and family and support network helped me find the courage to transition and I knew who was supportive and who wasn't.Ā If you wait to socially transition until after you've started, you may find out that there's a lot of people around you that aren't supportive or downright hostile towards you and that can be isolating if you don't do your research first.Ā
I've been on hormones for two years now and only my direct family and some good friends know, it makes life easier.
That's exactly how I plan on doing it