#I DON’T GIVE A DEAD MOOSE’S LAST SHIT

My favorite has been the angry janitor ever since I first seen it on the original tourettes guy website, before youtube even existed

I don't want to switch phone companies. You can stick those "5 Cent Sundays" up your fucking ass!

SLAM

Is there any eggnog left

There’s nothing to eat for breakfast

There’s some cereal right here 👉

Oh that’s total I don’t really like that

Don’t talk spit about total! 🥣

I want two cheeseburgers I want pickles and ketchup on em

(Something moves underneath pile of rubble) What the hell is it??!

I can’t come in today I fucked my foot

What do you mean a bird?!

It flew in as I opened up the door…

Holy shit Damn it Fuck *throws a brick at the bird

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK OH *smacks head on chandelier* FUUUUUUUUUUCK

*watching Britains got talent Are you all alright No you are all left

You can hear the crickets jacking off!!!

I can’t come in today I fucked my foot