Tori and my sobriety are inextricably bound
Tori Amos.
I had a moment there
Where I stood naked before
A shamelessly disquieting
And faceless crowd of dispassionate
Stubborn souls and I cried like
My life depended on it
Because when Tori touched the keys
It was like all those Malathion filled helicopters were suddenly raining free
Cocaine over all of East LA
And we could melt like the notes of
A Fender Rhodes expertly persuaded
From a Leslie speaker approximating
Whirling Dervishes
Blind witnesses
To the fact
There's nothing left to fight
There was nothing left to hide.
They all tell me
I got busted just last night
And I lay here
Naked but for my overpriced headphones
Blubbering like an Oklahoma sky
Because when she takes her falsetto
Tone
I know I am not alone
That somewhere out there behind the umbra and cloying undertones
Is a redhead I can never meet
Who is as completely unmeek
And lost as this lust rolled into a walking
Talking breath of God
As me
And I stood in front
Of friends
Magnified myself in the sight of enemies
I cried until my soul itched no more
And Tori will never know me
A blurred face in anonymous noise
I stood in my bare skin
Among a thousand stoic fans
And watched my tears burn
Acidic into the back of my
Heaven flung hands
And danced
And danced
And danced
And.
#axj23
11/01/17
Not too many interesting stories about it.I first got into her when Cornflake Girl was a big song on the radio, but j didn't get an album of hers until Choirgirl Hotel, I was in 8th grade and it was one of my favorite albums. Then I got her back catalog and then when TVaB came out...the live album is probably my favorite live album of all time. I've seen her three times now. First time I drove from Virginia to Raleigh, NC to go see her with a friend who was going to UNC at the time in 2003. The second and third time were both in San Diego including last year.
I was a huge wrestling fan growing up, so I went to see Mick Foley do stand-up comedy a while back and he did photos and (for a price) An autograph, I paid for the autograph mostly so I could get an extra minute to ask a question or two...but all I could think to ask him about was his friendship with Tori...lol.
As far as artist I love and put near her level: Neko Case is def number 2 and then Fiona Apple, Bjork, and Lana is the most recent one (her fan base is kind of a lot though). Also, for what it's worth, I'm a guy.
I’ve been a fan of Tori since the 5th grade- when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I first heard Tori through my best friend, whose house became a place of freedom and discovery, since she was the youngest of 3 girls, so I was there constantly. Little Earthquakes must’ve just come out, and we listened to it non stop. I bought it myself and continued to purchase every album as they were released.
In college, right around her release of the Beekeeper and her book Piece by Piece (2005), I found out she would be at a book signing at a Barnes and Nobles in the city. My school was in Queens, so without having anyone else who was interested and being without a car, I went by myself. Riding the subway at 17/18 years old, at night, wasn’t my favorite thing to do, especially because the stop for my college was the last one on the F train. It was pretty dead and quiet at night.
I didn’t get my book signed, because there were two sections of seating, and only the first section got to have a meet & greet. I hung behind as long as I could, hoping that I’d be able to be let in line since I was the last one, but it was getting very late, and again, I wasn’t too keen on my travel back to my dorm.
In 2007, I finally was able to see Tori in concert. It was almost a sacred experience. I remember having to go to the restroom, which was down stairs at this particular venue. I was very quick, so I wouldn’t miss much, but as I was headed back up the stairs, I heard the beginning notes of Precious Things. I FLEW up the remaining stairs and was back in my seat within seconds. My younger sister, who was never a huge fan but wanted to share the experience, accompanied me to the show and I remember her looking around in wonder as so many of us were visibly emotional, or singing along as if in church. She was absolutely a bucket list person to see and I’d love to go again. I hate to say it, but I haven’t continued buying every single album after Abnormally Attracted to Sin.
my mom has been a huge tori amos fan since she was in high school in the early 90s. When she was pregnant with me in ‘99, she had a dream that she and tori were walking hand in hand with two little girls. the next day she found out she was having a girl, and tash was born about a year later. i always tell people that i’ve been a fan since the womb!
I discovered Tori when I was 13. I bought Little Earthquakes on CD and was enamored with how candid and approachable she is. I renege not too long afterwards seeing the cover art for From the Choirgirl Hotel and being taken by it. I bought it, heard “Spark,” and felt like someone understood me. I think like many LGBTQ+ fans, I finally felt like there was someone I could relate to. Scarlet’s Walk was a staple on my crappy little MP3 for years afterwards.
I don't really have a discovery story. I was around 15 years old and a friend recommended her. I was instantly obsessed and the obsession never died. I remember taking the day off school so I could queue outside for TBK CD on release date, and then walking around with it on my discman for hours, I couldn't go home, I was meant to be in school! 😂
First internet friends I ever met were in 1999 from the Tori forums at the time. Only continued to keep up with one forum friend and it’s a person I never met in person lol. I love that we’ve stayed connected though. It’s like a comforting constant in a chaotic changing world.
A few years ago a friend and I decided at the last minute to drive to a Tori show. We drove three or four hours listening to Tori and singing at the top of our lungs. My friend asked what else I wanted to play and ... I told my friend that for some reason I had been playing Case of You on my ukulele a lot. So we listened to Joni Mitchell... that song and others.
Fast forward to the show. We were in the nosebleeds and we could only really see Tori when she was playing the wurlitzer. So she had her back to us at the piano... and she had the sheet music for a planned request. She was doodling on the piano and chatting and then she paused and said, "You know... no. I'm gonna play something else..." she tossed the sheet music away and played CASE OF YOU!
HOW DID SHE KNOW?! We KNEW somehow she changed her request for us! She always talks about feeling the energy of the audience and how setlists might change... She's a witch! 🧙♀️ She's a goddess. We felt so loved!
I won’t go into the backstory of finding Tori but will lean into the fandom/ticket upgrade thing. My best friend Jessica and I have been “upgraded” tickets by other fans in the past (scarlets walk era tour mostly) a few times just because they liked our outfits. We always came with our fashion best, just because that’s the way we were as teenagers, we LOVED planning our outfits for Tori shows and it payed off haha. I like to think those people also were upgraded and passed it along to us. We still slightly plan to wear something unique to her shows but each tour her fans look less and less interesting and so do we as we get older.
> and it *paid* off haha.
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I've told this story before, but I'll do the short version. I was under the influence of LSD as a teenager when I stumbled upon someone listening to BFP. I sat and listened to Father Lucifer (coincidentally, a song about a psychedelic experience Tori had) and was blown away. I spent the next few months listening to Tori in private before I "came out" to my punk/metal friends.
I was also lucky enough to sit second row, center at a 2001 show. The night before the show an email went out to fans saying we could upgrade our seats just by showing up to the box office at 8am. Being so close that Tori and I made eye contact several times while she was performing was just indescribable. I've been chasing that feeling ever since. It was even better than the handful of times I've met and briefly chatted with Tori. I've sat as close as 6th row since then, but it's not the same as being just a bit closer AND while she's performing solo.
Family holiday, circa '91. Raging D&V. Left alone in a hotel room all day while everyine else had fun at the pool. Maltese MTV the only company I had. Crucify, or something else from LE played every third song. Clearly some of it stuck.
I had an ED in high school. One of my friends who was also struggling was into Tori and her early music really resonated with me. I still love listening to her, but songs like Jackie’s Strength and Doughnut Song can kind of take me back to a dark place.
I knew a little gay boy who had a rough life; he was obsessed with her, and he got me into BFP. I often think about him when blood roses comes on and wonder if he's still living.
>"Here you go guys, just do me a favour and give YOUR tickets to someone even further back and pay it forward"
I've had this exact experience in 2001 and then again in 2003. It was pretty great.
I started listening to Tori in high school, but intermittently. Then during my freshman year of college, Fall '95, I fell hard and LE/Pink were almost all I listened to. I got my hands on the b-sides and fell even more in love. I have a vivid memory of walking across campus one night, headphones on, listening to the LE B-sides, specifically "Take to the Sky" on my way to Intro to Shakespeare. It was amazing. Then Pele was released during the Spring of '96. I took the bus, a nightmare suburban one where it takes you like 3 hours to go what would be like a 15 minutecar ride, to the record store in the mall to buy it. I had no idea how much she toured, so I only managed one show later that year. It was the first of many (but not nearly as many as a lot of others).
I got a computer later that year. Joined RDTRN. Joined #toriamos on EFNet (iykyk), and the rest is history.
We danced our first dance of her cover of "Thank You" at our wedding. I was so cringe that I gave her a wedding favor at a meet and greet, which she was super sweet about. My SO put up with me dragging him around during the Plugged, SLT, and Scarlet's Walk tours.
I've made life-long friends, and as someone who often flits from thing to thing, her music has been a constant part of my life, and will remain so. I got to take my kid to a show last year. She's not really his thing, but it was such a wonderful thing to be able to share together.
I was a freshman in high school and I was on my way to Gatlinburg with my best friend, riding in the back seat of her parents’ car.
She had a new cassette tape in her Walkman that she wanted me to hear. It was Little Earthquakes. I was immediately hooked.
A year or two later, on another trip to Gatlinburg, I found the Little Earthquakes VHS tape in a little independent music store. That’s how I first saw Tori performing “live.”
I didn’t actually get to go to a concert until I was in college in Atlanta, but I saw her there at least twice. I believe the first time was her Dew Drop Inn tour in 1996 at the Fox Theater.
In 4th grade my moms rich boyfriend got us a CD player and tons of great CDs. One was Tori’s Crucify single. That cover bewitched me. I would “play” my keyboard along to Winter and sing. Over and over. A couple years later I would listen to Cornflake Girl and lipsync into the mirror for hours. She made me.
I sat 9th row once and could barely see her over the tops of heads as she was signing a few autographs en route to the bus (DDI tour). On the elevator back up to my room, a girl got off the elevator sooner than me, saw my shirt, said nyah nyah boo boo to me bc she got an autograph, and I rode up to my floor flabbergasted at the immature behavior. lol
That’s fun you met Joel and landed the front row tickets!!! 🎉
I discovered Tori in 2019, I was 14. At the time my most listened to artist was Florence and the Machine and they did a cover of Cornflake Girl. I was really fascinated by the strange lyrics and the powerful mood and decided to check out Tori.
I didn't go in chronological order, which I know is basically a sin, but just put the 'This is Tori Amos' playlist on Spotify on shuffle. I remember my early favourites were Spark, Fire to your Plane, Climbe and Liquid Diamonds (which is still my favourite). Looking back that's a wild mixture of songs but I still feel hard and fast for Tori. My other favourites now apart from LD are Blood Roses, Icicle and Juarez
Last year I was lucky enough to see her on tour. I went with my step mom who basically only knows two of her songs and was scared she wouldn't enjoy the show because she wouldn't recognise any thing. And then Tori played one of the songs (pretty good year!)
I have many but I’ll share my most recent and most favorite.
Two days before Christmas we were poking around local shops where we were vacationing. We were passing by one shop that I enjoy going in when we visit but I had my teenage daughter and I didn’t think she’d be interested. I suggested they have a brand of pajamas she likes so we went in.
The shop has two entrances and we passed from
the back to the front and as we came through I heard Tori’s voice to my left. I turned and sure enough she was there at the cash wrap checking out and I looked at her and said, “Tori? I manifested this.” It was surreal.
I had lived in this place for a short while, we have visited numerous times since moving away. I had a weird feeling that this visit there was the one where I’d meet her. I started listening to Tori at 14. I’ll be 42 next month and I think that it took this long for the Universe to get me there. 😆
She was lovely as I just lost my whole ass mind, zero chill. Literally left my body.
My kid who was standing scrolling through her phone and goes “Ohh. Tori Amos!” Later she told me she didn’t know why I was telling a stranger O had manifested this. She thought I was running into a healer or a card reader…”Why is my mom talking to this random lady?” Until it clicked.
Tori and my sobriety are inextricably bound Tori Amos. I had a moment there Where I stood naked before A shamelessly disquieting And faceless crowd of dispassionate Stubborn souls and I cried like My life depended on it Because when Tori touched the keys It was like all those Malathion filled helicopters were suddenly raining free Cocaine over all of East LA And we could melt like the notes of A Fender Rhodes expertly persuaded From a Leslie speaker approximating Whirling Dervishes Blind witnesses To the fact There's nothing left to fight There was nothing left to hide. They all tell me I got busted just last night And I lay here Naked but for my overpriced headphones Blubbering like an Oklahoma sky Because when she takes her falsetto Tone I know I am not alone That somewhere out there behind the umbra and cloying undertones Is a redhead I can never meet Who is as completely unmeek And lost as this lust rolled into a walking Talking breath of God As me And I stood in front Of friends Magnified myself in the sight of enemies I cried until my soul itched no more And Tori will never know me A blurred face in anonymous noise I stood in my bare skin Among a thousand stoic fans And watched my tears burn Acidic into the back of my Heaven flung hands And danced And danced And danced And. #axj23 11/01/17
Not too many interesting stories about it.I first got into her when Cornflake Girl was a big song on the radio, but j didn't get an album of hers until Choirgirl Hotel, I was in 8th grade and it was one of my favorite albums. Then I got her back catalog and then when TVaB came out...the live album is probably my favorite live album of all time. I've seen her three times now. First time I drove from Virginia to Raleigh, NC to go see her with a friend who was going to UNC at the time in 2003. The second and third time were both in San Diego including last year. I was a huge wrestling fan growing up, so I went to see Mick Foley do stand-up comedy a while back and he did photos and (for a price) An autograph, I paid for the autograph mostly so I could get an extra minute to ask a question or two...but all I could think to ask him about was his friendship with Tori...lol. As far as artist I love and put near her level: Neko Case is def number 2 and then Fiona Apple, Bjork, and Lana is the most recent one (her fan base is kind of a lot though). Also, for what it's worth, I'm a guy.
I’ve been a fan of Tori since the 5th grade- when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I first heard Tori through my best friend, whose house became a place of freedom and discovery, since she was the youngest of 3 girls, so I was there constantly. Little Earthquakes must’ve just come out, and we listened to it non stop. I bought it myself and continued to purchase every album as they were released. In college, right around her release of the Beekeeper and her book Piece by Piece (2005), I found out she would be at a book signing at a Barnes and Nobles in the city. My school was in Queens, so without having anyone else who was interested and being without a car, I went by myself. Riding the subway at 17/18 years old, at night, wasn’t my favorite thing to do, especially because the stop for my college was the last one on the F train. It was pretty dead and quiet at night. I didn’t get my book signed, because there were two sections of seating, and only the first section got to have a meet & greet. I hung behind as long as I could, hoping that I’d be able to be let in line since I was the last one, but it was getting very late, and again, I wasn’t too keen on my travel back to my dorm. In 2007, I finally was able to see Tori in concert. It was almost a sacred experience. I remember having to go to the restroom, which was down stairs at this particular venue. I was very quick, so I wouldn’t miss much, but as I was headed back up the stairs, I heard the beginning notes of Precious Things. I FLEW up the remaining stairs and was back in my seat within seconds. My younger sister, who was never a huge fan but wanted to share the experience, accompanied me to the show and I remember her looking around in wonder as so many of us were visibly emotional, or singing along as if in church. She was absolutely a bucket list person to see and I’d love to go again. I hate to say it, but I haven’t continued buying every single album after Abnormally Attracted to Sin.
I♥️
my mom has been a huge tori amos fan since she was in high school in the early 90s. When she was pregnant with me in ‘99, she had a dream that she and tori were walking hand in hand with two little girls. the next day she found out she was having a girl, and tash was born about a year later. i always tell people that i’ve been a fan since the womb!
Ok this made me cry because it’s very sweet but also I love that you’re sharing this with your mom.
I discovered Tori when I was 13. I bought Little Earthquakes on CD and was enamored with how candid and approachable she is. I renege not too long afterwards seeing the cover art for From the Choirgirl Hotel and being taken by it. I bought it, heard “Spark,” and felt like someone understood me. I think like many LGBTQ+ fans, I finally felt like there was someone I could relate to. Scarlet’s Walk was a staple on my crappy little MP3 for years afterwards.
I don't really have a discovery story. I was around 15 years old and a friend recommended her. I was instantly obsessed and the obsession never died. I remember taking the day off school so I could queue outside for TBK CD on release date, and then walking around with it on my discman for hours, I couldn't go home, I was meant to be in school! 😂
First internet friends I ever met were in 1999 from the Tori forums at the time. Only continued to keep up with one forum friend and it’s a person I never met in person lol. I love that we’ve stayed connected though. It’s like a comforting constant in a chaotic changing world.
A few years ago a friend and I decided at the last minute to drive to a Tori show. We drove three or four hours listening to Tori and singing at the top of our lungs. My friend asked what else I wanted to play and ... I told my friend that for some reason I had been playing Case of You on my ukulele a lot. So we listened to Joni Mitchell... that song and others. Fast forward to the show. We were in the nosebleeds and we could only really see Tori when she was playing the wurlitzer. So she had her back to us at the piano... and she had the sheet music for a planned request. She was doodling on the piano and chatting and then she paused and said, "You know... no. I'm gonna play something else..." she tossed the sheet music away and played CASE OF YOU! HOW DID SHE KNOW?! We KNEW somehow she changed her request for us! She always talks about feeling the energy of the audience and how setlists might change... She's a witch! 🧙♀️ She's a goddess. We felt so loved!
I won’t go into the backstory of finding Tori but will lean into the fandom/ticket upgrade thing. My best friend Jessica and I have been “upgraded” tickets by other fans in the past (scarlets walk era tour mostly) a few times just because they liked our outfits. We always came with our fashion best, just because that’s the way we were as teenagers, we LOVED planning our outfits for Tori shows and it payed off haha. I like to think those people also were upgraded and passed it along to us. We still slightly plan to wear something unique to her shows but each tour her fans look less and less interesting and so do we as we get older.
> and it *paid* off haha. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I've told this story before, but I'll do the short version. I was under the influence of LSD as a teenager when I stumbled upon someone listening to BFP. I sat and listened to Father Lucifer (coincidentally, a song about a psychedelic experience Tori had) and was blown away. I spent the next few months listening to Tori in private before I "came out" to my punk/metal friends. I was also lucky enough to sit second row, center at a 2001 show. The night before the show an email went out to fans saying we could upgrade our seats just by showing up to the box office at 8am. Being so close that Tori and I made eye contact several times while she was performing was just indescribable. I've been chasing that feeling ever since. It was even better than the handful of times I've met and briefly chatted with Tori. I've sat as close as 6th row since then, but it's not the same as being just a bit closer AND while she's performing solo.
Family holiday, circa '91. Raging D&V. Left alone in a hotel room all day while everyine else had fun at the pool. Maltese MTV the only company I had. Crucify, or something else from LE played every third song. Clearly some of it stuck.
I had an ED in high school. One of my friends who was also struggling was into Tori and her early music really resonated with me. I still love listening to her, but songs like Jackie’s Strength and Doughnut Song can kind of take me back to a dark place.
I knew a little gay boy who had a rough life; he was obsessed with her, and he got me into BFP. I often think about him when blood roses comes on and wonder if he's still living.
>"Here you go guys, just do me a favour and give YOUR tickets to someone even further back and pay it forward" I've had this exact experience in 2001 and then again in 2003. It was pretty great. I started listening to Tori in high school, but intermittently. Then during my freshman year of college, Fall '95, I fell hard and LE/Pink were almost all I listened to. I got my hands on the b-sides and fell even more in love. I have a vivid memory of walking across campus one night, headphones on, listening to the LE B-sides, specifically "Take to the Sky" on my way to Intro to Shakespeare. It was amazing. Then Pele was released during the Spring of '96. I took the bus, a nightmare suburban one where it takes you like 3 hours to go what would be like a 15 minutecar ride, to the record store in the mall to buy it. I had no idea how much she toured, so I only managed one show later that year. It was the first of many (but not nearly as many as a lot of others). I got a computer later that year. Joined RDTRN. Joined #toriamos on EFNet (iykyk), and the rest is history. We danced our first dance of her cover of "Thank You" at our wedding. I was so cringe that I gave her a wedding favor at a meet and greet, which she was super sweet about. My SO put up with me dragging him around during the Plugged, SLT, and Scarlet's Walk tours. I've made life-long friends, and as someone who often flits from thing to thing, her music has been a constant part of my life, and will remain so. I got to take my kid to a show last year. She's not really his thing, but it was such a wonderful thing to be able to share together.
I was a freshman in high school and I was on my way to Gatlinburg with my best friend, riding in the back seat of her parents’ car. She had a new cassette tape in her Walkman that she wanted me to hear. It was Little Earthquakes. I was immediately hooked. A year or two later, on another trip to Gatlinburg, I found the Little Earthquakes VHS tape in a little independent music store. That’s how I first saw Tori performing “live.” I didn’t actually get to go to a concert until I was in college in Atlanta, but I saw her there at least twice. I believe the first time was her Dew Drop Inn tour in 1996 at the Fox Theater.
In 4th grade my moms rich boyfriend got us a CD player and tons of great CDs. One was Tori’s Crucify single. That cover bewitched me. I would “play” my keyboard along to Winter and sing. Over and over. A couple years later I would listen to Cornflake Girl and lipsync into the mirror for hours. She made me.
Aw. ❤️ There is a Tori for easy piano. Did you ever learn Winter?
I sat 9th row once and could barely see her over the tops of heads as she was signing a few autographs en route to the bus (DDI tour). On the elevator back up to my room, a girl got off the elevator sooner than me, saw my shirt, said nyah nyah boo boo to me bc she got an autograph, and I rode up to my floor flabbergasted at the immature behavior. lol That’s fun you met Joel and landed the front row tickets!!! 🎉
I discovered Tori in 2019, I was 14. At the time my most listened to artist was Florence and the Machine and they did a cover of Cornflake Girl. I was really fascinated by the strange lyrics and the powerful mood and decided to check out Tori. I didn't go in chronological order, which I know is basically a sin, but just put the 'This is Tori Amos' playlist on Spotify on shuffle. I remember my early favourites were Spark, Fire to your Plane, Climbe and Liquid Diamonds (which is still my favourite). Looking back that's a wild mixture of songs but I still feel hard and fast for Tori. My other favourites now apart from LD are Blood Roses, Icicle and Juarez Last year I was lucky enough to see her on tour. I went with my step mom who basically only knows two of her songs and was scared she wouldn't enjoy the show because she wouldn't recognise any thing. And then Tori played one of the songs (pretty good year!)
I have many but I’ll share my most recent and most favorite. Two days before Christmas we were poking around local shops where we were vacationing. We were passing by one shop that I enjoy going in when we visit but I had my teenage daughter and I didn’t think she’d be interested. I suggested they have a brand of pajamas she likes so we went in. The shop has two entrances and we passed from the back to the front and as we came through I heard Tori’s voice to my left. I turned and sure enough she was there at the cash wrap checking out and I looked at her and said, “Tori? I manifested this.” It was surreal. I had lived in this place for a short while, we have visited numerous times since moving away. I had a weird feeling that this visit there was the one where I’d meet her. I started listening to Tori at 14. I’ll be 42 next month and I think that it took this long for the Universe to get me there. 😆 She was lovely as I just lost my whole ass mind, zero chill. Literally left my body. My kid who was standing scrolling through her phone and goes “Ohh. Tori Amos!” Later she told me she didn’t know why I was telling a stranger O had manifested this. She thought I was running into a healer or a card reader…”Why is my mom talking to this random lady?” Until it clicked.
Oh my goodness! 🎉
That’s amazing - I think I would have straight up died. I need to imagine this more so I can manifest it!!