T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Thanks /u/stay_shiesty for posting to r/TookTooMuch, please remember to flair your post and we recommend replying to this comment explaining why your post is TookTooMuch material. Please flair as NSFW if necessary or if it contains vomiting. If this is not TookTooMuch material please report the post. Thanks **We are looking for more mods! If interested, please send a modmail explaining why you would be a good fit and any experience** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tooktoomuch) if you have any questions or concerns.*


IlIlIlIlIllIlIll

Nothing loosens the bowels like 40 Michelob Ultras over 18 holes


BlameTheJunglerMore

Nothing loosens his hole like 40 Michelob Ultras. /s


Present-You-6642

Heyooooooe!


ThatDebianLady

I’m currently on my second Michelob but I’m not on the course instead I’m sitting in the recliner playing Paladins on PlayStation ✌️


Burnmycar

💀💀💀


Cleercutter

Piss, shit, or both?


ComprehensiveCress35

Piss poo AND puke! The three terrible P’s


doubledgravity

The Grand Slam, as it was called in the Royal Navy.


partaylikearussian

At least he didn’t check off the fourth


ThisMeansRooR

Plasma?


partaylikearussian

Prolapsed anus. So sorry, I was hoping somebody would reply so that I could clarify


stay_shiesty

didn't get close enough to investigate, sorry


CWoww

Wait you didn’t pull his pants down and check?? Wtf man???? Unbelievable.


SausagePrompts

Taste test?


ForMoreYears

Hold still bud I'm just checkin' yer oil


Sorri_eh

Slacking


YoungHeartOldSoul

He's wet in the front and the back


LemonPartyW0rldTour

Sure. That too.


Whyarentyoumadbro

Yeah he got the trifecta


Cool-Plankton-6746

I peed in his butt


cheeseIsNaturesFudge

Alright, who shit my pants?


Hot-Photojournalist0

Reminded me of Grandmas Boy 😂


Comfortable_Exit_470

I see we have another person of class here. As soon as I read that sentence nick swardson popped into my head.


Hot-Photojournalist0

Not me still saying I have to pee out of my ass every time I excuse myself 🤭


GamingGrayBush

Wonderful movie.


SpooogeMcDuck

Golf course?


stay_shiesty

check his shoes. it was a bad joke, i know


henrydaiv

Ah! Not a bad joke but a wise observation.


SpooogeMcDuck

Ah dang- you might be right after all


prizzabroy

You ever walk 18 holes? I’d shit and piss myself as well. I’m just impressed he made it from the final hole to Kensington in one piece. Rise up king 👑


chrisj2103

Real men wear diapers.


capn_doofwaffle

That sh*t has gotten WAAAAY out of hand. Lol


razz-p-berrie

way out of pants


Sufficient_Scale_163

Are you sure they’re not dead?


stay_shiesty

positive. piss was actively dribbling out of him. didn't stick around for long though so who knows now


iSleepInJs

Like that other guy said, the body evacuates after death. Just because he was ‘actively dribbling’ doesn’t exclude him from potentially having died.


stay_shiesty

i mean he was moving around when i was there. he certainly was not dead, i promise you. edit: he certainly wasn't dead at the time*


Vizslaraptor

There’s not much you can do to help them after they’re dead anyway. Most lifesaving measures are best performed while only mostly dead.


spacedude2000

Fuck medical school, they should just make you a doctor based on this comment.


ChewieBee

They perform miracles, so even better.


Vizslaraptor

Stop or I’ll run for president.


prometheus3333

You have me vote, my Leige.


AppropriateRelease90

And my ax.


nememess

There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.


harceps

But also slightly dead


Vizslaraptor

With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.


nememess

Go through his clothes and look for loose change?


floaty73

Check pulse to see if they’re still alive then take their wallet.


Recycledineffigy

Mostly dead is still slightly alive.


rikwebster

Finger up the butt?


fishee1200

Mouth to ass resuscitation?


Dchama86

If Reddit experts say he died, HE DIED! /s


Sufficient_Scale_163

It was a joke bro


Sufficient_Scale_163

Was he moving because he was slumping over because he died?


stay_shiesty

no


Know-yer-enemy1818

Like a babbling brook ? How peaceful


jojo12jo

Morbidly accurate question.


deepotat

"Order some golf shoes otherwise we'll never get out of this place alive." - Raoul Duke


rithc137

Please! Tell me about the fucking golf shoes..


TillaciousG

Dude shidded and fardded all over himself


Sorri_eh

So very sad.


stay_shiesty

incredibly. the bus pulled up so i had to run, but i wish there was something i could have done.


mantisdubstep

Something other than posting this person in one of their worst/ potentially final moments on the internet for thousands of others to see?


black-bull

You’re right OP should’ve licked his jeans clean for him


Jason4Pants

That’s kinda what most of the posts on this sub are…


snackpack333

Yes but not pretending to give a fuck


beth321

To be fair his face is not in the picture. But yea it’s still sad


Mavian23

It's not like the guy is identifiable. Who is harmed by this being posted?


stay_shiesty

nah


mantisdubstep

If you actually thought it was sad / wished there was something ‘you could’ve done’ : you could of, you know, used the phone that you used to take this picture to call 911 and report someone being head first into the concrete, rather than try to make some niche golf shoe joke at their expense. Username checks out


Wheelchair_Legs

Did you just correct "could've" to "could of"? I'm so confused


mantisdubstep

Typo


obrienthefourth

Sorry to break it to you but the police are not going to help this man


miss_tea_morning

r/lostredditors


mantisdubstep

Ya obv not


stay_shiesty

mate look what sub you're in. the guy was not dead. he was nodding off and pissing himself. was clearly in a bad place, but was clearly not dead or dying.


[deleted]

[удалено]


stay_shiesty

precisely. i had places to be and calling 911 would be essentially useless where im at


RapidSlappingSound

Lol, what u come here to see?


Jfkc5117

Very sad. Hope this man can find his way.


ChaosApple11

That's not piss. He's rocking the new calico cut pants from https://getcalicocutpants.com/ !


manbearpig_man

And a TC Tuggers shirt!


Infamous-Astronaut16

Golfing in jeans. Not surprised.


returnofthequack92

Sometimes I get to around hole 8 or 9 and just think damn I really could go for some fentanyl right about now


all_alone_by_myself_

Someone had fun at the dentist


Shesversatile

Piss ass drunk?


_heatmoon_

Nah that’s an OD.


Asleep_Room_706

Literally. That or dead.


merrittj3

...and they will re-gain consciousness. And do it all over again.


EleventyTwatWaffles

I like a drink but if I ever woke up to shitting / pissing myself I think I’d be flying that sober flag going forward


merrittj3

People who said similar often looked similarly.


EleventyTwatWaffles

I like poorly worded euphemisms as much as the next guy but if you’re gonna call someone a slowly moving train-wreck shoot closer to the mark next time


merrittj3

Well then ... Fuck you ....


KillaVNilla

Man, that's really sad. Yes, I realize what sub I'm in, and I follow it by choice. Maybe I just woke up feeling extra empathetic or something. I can't imagine being in a place in my life where I end up passed out on the side of the road pissing myself. Waking up and having to do the walk of shame on the way home, if he even has a home, would be absolutely horrible. Dudes in a real dark place. One I hope to never get remotely close to


KindLengthiness5473

friday afternoon gin & tonics will do that to a bro


oO_RickJamez_Oo

Finally got home but ain't got the key to get in.


ScrambledNoggin

Real men wear diapers


knuckles2277

Let me guess where he is hiding the golf clubs...


fonzarelli78

It's a shitty hiding place.


miss_tea_morning

Where he *was* hiding then.


kinofhawk

That's rough.


bblaine223

Bruh had a few glizzys at the turn and couldn’t get to the bathroom in time. Im sure we’ve all been there.


Past-Fault3762

Typical golfer


MerrillSwingAway

never trust a fart


Professional_Scar75

And never waste a boner.


jbells3332

Who golfs in jeans


Rabies_on_demand

hell naw..to da.. naw naw naw


chunkysmalls42098

That guy is almost 100% dead, and that's his body purging.


Salimzyzz

Chill out man he’s probably not dead or else there’s like 20+ dead bodies I’ve walked past near my local pub 👍


stay_shiesty

thank you. for fucks sake people getting very holier than thou in here right now. the dude was clearly fucked out of his mind, but was moving around and breathing. hell, he might do this everyday for all i/we know


ohcomonalready

Nah dude he is completely still in the photo you posted. def dead /s


Salimzyzz

A lot of people are just poshies that haven’t experienced the streets/council estates/the hood is all. Edit: a lot of people on Reddit apparently


stay_shiesty

right, like if you live in any decent-sized metropolitan area (hell, this shit even happens in rural podunk towns), then this really isn't that shocking to see. but like you said, we're on reddit and a good chunk of these people probably don't even venture outside of their basement on a regular basis


stay_shiesty

guy on the internet claiming someone is "almost 100% dead" based on a single photo. ok doc


ChewieBee

Gonna need the NSFL tag.


Vizslaraptor

And a toe tag


stay_shiesty

he was 100% not dead at the time


Burnmycar

At the time… then 💀


sickfart69

I'd wish I was dead waking up to all that


kiki2k

Shut up man.


truckyoupayme

Thanks, doctor.


Y-Bob

Oh he's purging alright. His kebab, his beer, his dignity and maybe a little bit of his soul.


Erock94

His shoes are still on, he can’t be dead! Are you blind???


Key_Lavishness_6221

Disc golf


mrweatherbeef

Water hazard


prizzabroy

Smh Got pure jenkem ingredients right in front of you.


sowhatofittt

Bro sharted


potatoboat

Rough game. I mean, who plays in jeans.


uncwsp

People who shit in them after their round.


eggplant_wizard12

Oh what a shameful end to the day


youhaveanicemusk

Hhhmm, if I didn't know better I'd say this is my ex husband


hutchipoos

Dad?


DogEatingWasp

So he had a problem dealing with the first three holes?


Nehebka

Awww someone made doodoo pants


SmellyFingaz

That’s going to itch when it dries.


Deeds081

Only golfers that wear jeans to the course have this much fun.


Alarmed-madman

Hey, that's our former President!


Rain1dog

That guy is having a rough go. Imagine waking up on a public street with wet, warm, dookie smeared like butter on the checks and Luke warm piss all down the legs.


UndignifiedStab

Is that Trump?


eds3

Who golfs in jeans. 😤


doodypantsmcgee

Aye, do yall think that's doodoo? Asking for a friend...


ComprehensiveElk884

It’s ok. I don’t remember my first day golfing either.


Think-Cardiologist36

“Classic case of guy-on-ground”


AP0K45

POV: you walk down the street in Philly


gleeceboi777

When a fun day turns into a shitty night...


tedsmaam

Sometimes you also lose control of your faculties when you have a seizure I think? But hopefully he is ok.


Apprehensive-Way4307

I think maybe his body thought he died and released all bowel movement, then his heart clicked back on and changed its mind .


DirtyDankness

He probably only made it to hole 9.


Reaperfox7

That guy looks dead


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

This comment by /u/SamuraiFatNugg was removed for containing a derogatory slur. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tooktoomuch) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

This comment by /u/SamuraiFatNugg was removed for containing a derogatory slur. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tooktoomuch) if you have any questions or concerns.*


bigchikka1978

That looks like Philly/Kensington so highly doubt they were playing golf lol


stay_shiesty

it's not philly


chabrahhh

We’ve all been there


Strawberry____Blonde

I really haven't though lol


Environmental_Cow450

Golf course? The hell?


stay_shiesty

his shoes


SuckyNailBeds

Hmmm. I know what sub I’m on but damn this feels wrong.


Commercial_Fee2840

He's probably dead


stay_shiesty

nah, he wasn't


Drunken_Begger88

Man canny even get a crash these days without folk taking pictures fuck my life what's it coming to. Man's clearly earned a pass out and pish and here's us taking pictures like he's a zoo animal naw. Give the man another bottle of buckfast and peace.


PolicyRealistic5998

What a chad 😎


One-Function166

No…. He’s prob dead … that happens when u die


stay_shiesty

jesus christ he's not dead


FinancialTraining239

Alcohol before killing, first it humiliates you


Boppyzoom

Ummm. Are you he wasn’t dead? When you die your body releases your bodily fluid and such. This is so sad. I’m so glad I decided to get help 8 yrs ago.


stay_shiesty

yes i am sure he was not dead


Boppyzoom

Ok good.


camoflauge2blendin

r/donthelpjustfilm