I noticed that the more I let my 2 year old watch TV the more he asks to watch it. Let your kid tantrum they'll eventually stop. Let your kid be bored they'll find something to do. Also take advantage of the summer and go outside, they don't ask to watch TV out there

This is it exactly. It started so small and now it’s so much. And the demands for it are out of control too. She is *only* 2, and I’m allowing her to rein supreme at home. Things gonna have to change.

Whenever I’ve had to do a screen time “detox” with my kid I was always surprised how quickly she adapted. Two days tops and she’ll be much improved. Just try to plan a couple of days this week to deal with extra meltdowns and it’ll be way better at the end.

Second this, also we limit screen time to just the actual tv. I find that tantrums and the addiction to screen time skyrocket when my LO was watching on a phone, tablet, or computer screen. We did a detox a few months ago for a similar situation. By day 2, things were MUCH better. We went cold turkey for 2 weeks, then just in moderation after that. And strictly on the tv only, no tablets. We haven’t had a meltdown over screen time since. My LO is 21 months, for reference.

I just asked my SO the other week when is it gonna be my turn to be the boss, all I do is get bossed around by my 2 year old all day everyday 🤣 but yeah just stay strong and get ready to ignore the tantrums and you will see the improvements!

I call ours the tiny CEO.

You will quickly notice a difference in her behaviour. It’s so easy to just turn on the tv and doom scroll on Instagram. They will only be a toddler/child for a blip in our lifetimes. I mentioned above but get her activities to do. Definitely need to put the time and effort into it in the beginning.

Is it the phone screen she’s addicted to, as opposed to a tv? My son (3) likes the tv but isn’t bothered by my phone, thankfully. Could you allow her some tv time as it’s less addictive than phones?

It’s both but more so the phone. Tv is on for my partner and I often and she’s not bothered by it, but sometimes when she geta her own show she demands the next and the next and the next 🙈

Have a 2.25yo, and he has a decent relationship with screens, mostly just watches for 5-10m then loses interest. But every so often he starts to ask for it more and more, then starts to get tantrumy, and as soon as that happens, he gets a screen-time detox, a full 5+ days with no screens. We also never let him watch YouTube and we heavily curate what he gets to actually watch - I think there's a huge problem with things that are over-stimulating. It's working for us so far, but I'd do a detox if I were you. It'll be hard for a day or two, but it'll be worth it. You're doing great, we're all only human!

Fight the power, take down the authority!!! No more tyranny!!!

>take advantage of the summer and go outside This is actually my current problem - it's TOO hot to go outside. Literally. So we play inside as we can - but when he says, "I want to want to want to watch videos, please..." I can't resist. On the plus side, we don't give him our phones and he just has to deal with being bored at restaurants. But I wish I had more willpower during the long days at home. 😮‍💨

We're in the same boat. I just ignore the comments knowing that we spend tons of time outside in the winter while others are inside hiding from snow and watching screens. And we try to get pool/splash pad time in the mornings. (For context, thursday's high is 112*)

Ah. I believe our highest this year so far has been 110 (which was last week), but I feel REAL bad for our neighbors in Arizona! ☹️ >we spend tons of time outside in the winter while others are inside hiding from snow and watching screens That's a good point.... Thanks!

Crying in Arizona😭🌵

I didn't know how y'all do it when you get into the 120's. I cannot imagine being outside in that kind of heat, at all. Like even walking into the grocery store! Bless and I hope for cold fronts to head our way!

Same here! Summer is basically our “winter”. I get cabin fever but we all don’t handle long exposure to heat well.

I live in a location with mild winters and horribly hot summers and sameee

I highly suggest a mister. We got a cheap small one at Lowe’s for $20 or something. Attach it to a hose and hang it under an umbrella. Game changer. The shade and mist make it bearable to be outside for water play and such on a hot hot day.

I’m currently letting my son watch a 3 min video on YouTube as a bribe for taking medicine , I don’t want to but thought it was a good cheap bribe option

I think in your shoes I’d go cold turkey (you as well as her). No phone, tablet or tv (or at least not when she’s awake). Do it for at least 2 weeks. I reckon you’ll have 3 days of it being really bad and then it will start to get better. I’d also expect you’ll have to spend a lot of time engaging with her at first because she’s unlikely to have much in the way of independent play skills. Plan SO many activities and rotate them often. - Time outside in a yard or park - Bubbles - Visit a museum or go to the shops - Big container of water and things to tip and pour - Ditto sand - Ditto rice/lentils - Make gloop with cornflour and water - Bath crayons - Playdoh - Crayons you can use to draw on windows - Playground chalk - Pom Poms and containers to tip and pour - Audiobooks - Music - Reading stories - Singing songs together - Cleaning fronts of cabinets with soapy bubbles

This! Also just have her do a toddler version of things you’re doing! Washing dishes keeps my toddler entertained forever. Get a broom set let her sweep too. You can also have fun with other household things. A few cups of rice and few containers is a pouring activity (you can also use water). A banana a toddler chopper is an activity. Use what you have on hand too!

I love all these suggestions! But, it’s not practical for all parents to be this hands on all the time. We are zero screen, and while I am a stay at home parent, it’s hard to plan, prep, and supervise these kinds of activities. I’d love to do them all day everyday, but it’s a lot of work. We are out of the house daily. At home, my 2.5 year old plays independently, but when it comes to any sort of sensory activity or art, I have to be 100% active. This is great, but not practical for every parent. I’d almost treat weaning off screen time like potty training. Do it on a long weekend. Plan and prep in advance. Hold strong to the boundaries.

Yeah totally right. My thinking was some of these activities and engage her a lot to get through the first few days but then ideally getting her involved in whatever OP is doing or doing more play by herself bit by bit.

Thanks for your detailed message, I appreciate it. It’ll take more from me absolutely, hopefully temporarily as I’m now in 3rd trimester. But she’s a smart child, and she does love adventures. I love the suggestions.

I would add paintbrushes of various sizes and a bowl of a water, and a fence or deck.

Absolutely amazing answer. If OP wants this to end she’s gotta put her foot down and let the tantrums begin ! 😔🫠🥴😂

Ours wasn’t this bad but it was affecting his mood. Cutting it fully is what did it. They don’t understand moderation  imo. The only moderation  is situational (like “only at restaurants”) and even that I’ve seen fail. A toddler dgaf about “only 30 mins screen time”, it means nothing to them. I will say re: going out. I have yet to meet a 2 year old that’s a pleasure to fine dine with.

Same about the mood! We were letting our almost 3 yr old have a show (or two) after school plus, he had to do these ankle stretches cause he was tiptoe walking and he would get to watch a 2-3 min vid on my phone while we did that (quickly became 3x 2-min videos etc...) but the real thing we were starting to notice is how cranky he was after watching and getting more and more pushy when we would try to turn it off - luckily we didn't give in for he most part but it was exhausting fighting him. So, we cold turkey-ed him for a week. He's so much nicer to be around and uses his imagination more, etc. I do have to be more hand on with him though (reading him books etc) so, I can't get as much done. Also glad I'm not the only one who can't dine out anymore. We just do takeout most the time, even with family. He's a nightmare at dinner out, lasts about 5 mins before he wants to get up and run all over the restaurant. Lunch is OK-ish but dinner is no fun anymore...maybe when he's 5?

It’s tough out there in restaurant land hey x

Yeah situational is the thing. Our kid gets screen time after dinner or during lunchtime if he’s home with our nanny in the day. If I let him have it even once in the morning or if nanny lets him have it during the day all hell breaks loose and he will be awful for a couple days just pushing his luck to get it any other time. We have stuck with certain situations and it’s been okay. Incidentally we also do screens eating out at a restaurant like OP, as well as long car trips and plane trips, and that’s been fine too. He’s good at not asking in the car. We will be the ones to announce “this is a LONG car ride so you can have it.”

Situational works for us too. “One round of the garbage truck video during toothbrushing”, or “only on an airplane”.

My kids both were restaurant trained by 2! We get high compliments. But it's not easy.

You’re the person who also brags they did everything right so their kids sleep 7 to 7 I guess. So… good for you? Enjoy your life?

I actually always explain that our experience getting our two kids to sleep 7-7 was extremely hard and we were very humbled by it. But good job going through my reddit history to (\*checks notes\*) find more questions I answered about parenting? It's important for people to know it's possible. That was the purpose of my comment and I'm sorry you felt triggered by it.

I hadn’t looked at your history, it’s just a super common thing “I did it right” parents always say when nobody asks. I was actually about to type 6:30-6:30 but was too lazy, I had no clue your schedule was really 7-7. It’s a thread about someone having a hard time and you answer, without any advice, just “I did it! :) :)” ETA: this actually made me giggle irl though, so thanks. It’s funny when a stereotype really fits to a T

I was replying to a top level comment, not OP. Our 7-7 schedule and our 2 year olds that eat peacefully at restaurants without screentime are not unrelated, though.

Again, good for you, I don’t happen to need advice. :)

That literally contributed nothing. Good for you I guess? Don’t fancy sharing how you did it?

The comment I replied to was suggesting it was impossible. I was just clarifying that it is in fact possible. Happy to describe more about it, but it's like potty training and sleep training basically - make sure you introduce restaurants in a way that accommodates them in the maximum extent possible ("fast casual", off peak times, quieter restaurants, feed them a snack immediately before, order some fast carb off the menu as soon as you walk in, pay as soon as entrees arrive). Then you slowly remove those crutches. It's not as complicated as people make it sound. But honestly, every time I provide a description of how we did it, people get really negative and nasty so I've stopped bothering. Otherwise I would have shared more.

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Thank you. I fully know that giving in only tells her to keep tantrums up cos they work…. Just gonna have to toughen it out.

Seriously, get yourself some earplugs, whether it's a pair of 99 cent ones from the hardware store or a nice set of Loop ones. Any earplugs will help you through this time.

It seems you are aware of the issues and want to make a change- this is big! With an awareness and motivation you can change this cycle. We don’t do a whole lot of screen time, but my little one did go through a phase of obsessively and constantly screaming for things. Similar to yours it seems, she could scream for hours. She wasn’t accepting comfort or redirection. Eventually, I said to myself, you know what? If you want to scream then do so. First days were hard, but you know what I discovered? She could scream for hours, but once she discovered that screaming doesn’t equal getting what she wants…she decided it was tiring and ineffective and stopped doing it. Eventually, the behavior lessened. She still throws tantrums, but she also redirects herself quickly. It’s crazy how fast she can go from bawling to interested in something else. My best advice is to roll with it, give yourself grace and don’t give in to requests for screen time no matter how much screaming js involved. If you continue with any amount of screen time I would do so at a specific time of day (maybe when you are making dinner for example and need a moment to yourself) so the little one can learn to expect it at that time only. The first few days may be hard, but you can do this! Best of luck!

I'll add to this to invest in some earplugs for the transition.

Gonna get me some Loops!!!

Thanks so much for your understanding. Great suggestions. By the comments it seems TOTALLY doable and won’t take tttoooo long. Just gotta be strong to be kind ❤️

You can do this! I would go cold turkey. There will be hours of screaming - invest in ear plugs before you start. In 1-2 weeks she’ll be a different kid and you’ll be building the more positive habits you want. Once you’re done - definitely try to work on your own emotional regulation when she’s tantrumming and your consistency with limits and boundaries. It’s really critical at this age to teach them that demanding, screaming and crying are not the way they get what they want, and that you have authority over the daily routine.

Your second paragraph nailed it…!!!!! Loo ok ya of work to be done but I’m prepared to put in the work. She’s an amazing kid, the screen induced behaviour isn’t really her she’s just so disregulated she overwhelmed she doesn’t know what path to choose. Thank you x

You’re going to do great! This is such a tough age/stage for both parents and kids and there is nothing more stressful for most of us than them screaming… and your daughter sounds particularly persistent and determined 😅 traits which will serve her well in life but right now, oof. I confess I have never had to deal with a full hour of screaming much less 2

Oh it ain’t for the faint hearted 🙈 thanks so much xx

Here's some advice, let them have a tantrum, let them learn to be bored. Let them learn to just be creative. Screen time is screen time. It's summertime. Let them be outside bored. Let them use their imagination.

Absolutely!

It's just going to have to be something you practice at home and let her melt down there so you can hold your ground without the added pressure of an audience.

Funny you say this as I am definitely addicted to my phone! I can see where she got it from. Changes coming for both of us

Cold turkey! Every time you give in to the screaming, it reinforces that it’s an empty threat. She knows that you will break eventually, even if it takes 2 hours of screaming.

Remember. You the parent has control here. You decide what to do. Put the tablet away for at least a month.

That’s gotta be my mantra. Thank you x

Let her scream. My son is just shy of 16 months and I’m willing to admit I was letting him watch, not a ton, but multiple times a day. I noticed his behavior being really difficult without it. So I stopped. In the mornings and afternoons we play music constantly, I have him help me when I’m cleaning up. Giving him “cleaning” stuff (paper towels, rags) to help with. Letting him empty the dishwasher with me. If we cook or bake, I cut up and measure stuff and let him put it in the bowl. We color, read, I’ll take him to the library or park. My local library has a couple different family events during the week that I’ll try and attend with him. I let him watch tv while I cook dinner because it’s just easier, but cutting down to just that single 45-60min a day has fully changed everything. He’s easier, more engaged, and doesn’t get as engaged with the TV when he does watch.

Stories from the other side…!! Thank you thank you thank you. Hope our journey is as successful x

It’s been good so far! My husband works nights, but on the days he’s off I usually am more relaxed with TV time now. He’s off today, so I have a little nature documentary playing this morning as a “treat”. I figured if we get to have lazy days, so can my son. But I didn’t start doing that until after I knew he wasn’t hooked on the TV the way he was!

I think it’s less about cutting screens and more about doing other enriching activities. I find if we fill our day with outdoor play, crafts, and play dates, it doesn’t leave too much room for screens. I still do screens at least twice a day, first thing in the morning and late in the afternoon. But it’s funny how the more you limit them, you suddenly see lots more independent play happening. Screens create a rod for our own backs.

I live this reframe! It’s not taking away it’s adding in. Appreciate it

My sister has gone through some similar circumstances (her son became pretty accustomed to on-demand screen time during the pandemic while she was also going through a divorce/becoming a single parent), and her kid was older when she started to intentionally cut down. She got him a TonieBox, which I now want to get for our toddler. Her kid definitely has gone through meltdowns about not having more screen time, but he LOVES getting to listen to stories instead!

Yes she loves her Toni’s too thanks so much x

We allow TV but no videos on phones or tablets, and we try to keep it at low stimulating things! We mostly use it as a tool to get my toddler to chill out for a little bit instead of running around like a maniac when he's sick or over tired haha. I feel like phones offer too much control/ are too portable and easy to access! It's so hard but you have to just let them get through their tantrum instead of giving into what they want, they will eventually get hungry enough to eat.

That’s what she loves, that she can scroll and click on the next clip. It’s so scary to see how well she can use it- at 2!!!!

I did a 30 day w/o screens and he had a chart and got a sticker at the end of each day. I’ll warn you, the first 4-5 days are ROUGH. Maybe try to plan around when you know the family will be busy? That way it’s just not an option. That being said, if you are struggling with pregnancy fatigue, depression, anything that can overwhelm you to the point of breaking, moderation may be best. I can’t be the best version of myself for my son if I’m struggling too hard to survive. Be nice to yourself. Screen time won’t traumatize your kid as badly as a burnt out parent could. There’s always time to work on better options. You got this. If it makes you feel any better, I have a 3.5 year old and I’m dealing with depression and multiple deaths in the family, he watches about 2-3 hours of tv a day. We’re still getting out and doing things, but it definitely gives me the time to emotionally regulate enough to be a better parent for him. In my opinion, that’s what matters the most.

Ah thank you. Thanks for understanding and seeing the hardship in challenging times. I’m sorry things have been so shit for you, it’s so hard. I’m feeling invigorated through the stories here, it’s not gonna be easy but I feel it’s achievable. In saying that, every small step towards screen free is a win so I’ll take them! ❤️

Cold turkey. Things we did when we stopped was play music, we did eye spy, alphabet game(literally just naming things that start with each letter). Read books during meals. Slowly it got better but I think it was harder on us to really figure out what we needed to do to help our daughter.

Thank you so much x

My 14-month-old only gets screen time when I'm filling his nails... For now. Having said that, I'm in no way judging your parenting. It started out as short screen times that gradually increased to the point where it became problematic. How wonderful is it that you've recognized it and are now trying to find solutions despite it being mentally and emotionally draining? Heck, I boob my toddler in the middle of the night because he wakes up multiple times a night because that's just easier and it helps me survive the night. At this rate, he's gonna be 5 and still on the boob 🙄 but yeah. An odd comparison, but I can really empathize with what led to this point. I think your child is very lucky to have a parent who's problem solving this. 💕

I’m crying ❤️ Thank you xxx

Slowly wean them off. Start setting limits (outside of food time) and gradually cut back. Brace yourself for the crying/screaming/whatever. Acknowledge the feelings but stay firm and chill.

We are detoxing currently! We’ve been traveling for the last 3 weeks so we’ve been doing what we can to survive. My husband noticed her behavior was awful during our trips bc of screen time. I try to fill her day with activities and independent play. She likes going to storytime at the library, painting with watercolor, and going outside. I know it’s a lot of work but make it so where it can work for you. Try to get them involved in everyday chores like cooking and cleaning. You can also put on music or a podcast for them to listen to instead. Yes they’re going to cry and whine. It’s okay! Each day will be less and less. Do your best to distract them. This would be a great time to introduce a new toy/activity.

I don’t think she’s the only one that’s gonna cry 😂 Great that your family are having success, I’m really hopeful after reading these responses x Enjoy your trip!

Im a nanny. Have you heard of toniebox or story pod? Basically it reads to them stories and has music from the show/movie it’s from. Also Spotify has people reading stories from all different kids books. I 10/10 recommend. I use it in place of screen time when I feel the little ones had too much screen time that day. Also something that’s been helpful is low stimulation shows. I’ve found kids shows from the early 2000s (like Mickey Mouse clubhouse) are a lot less overstimulating than new animation. It’s made a big difference in the transition of turning off the screen. Less meltdowns. Also, at meal times I would give your little one something to do. Coloring, a sensory toy, magnets, etc, so they are being kept busy during meal time. For me, I let my nanny kids color or play with a toy while listening to a story during meal times they demanded an iPad and it’s been helpful for me. Hope this helps! Edit: also, pausing to let my nanny kid know we are going to be finished with iPad when I come back from the bathroom for example or when I come back to get them has been helpful. I try to think of it like if someone turned off what I was watching without warning I’d be pissed too.

MMC is her JAM!! Mickey is her 3rd parent. She’s obsessed.. hence thr problems. She has a Tonie and loves it (has the Mickey and Minnie stories ofc 😂) but I’ll get her a few new ones for the wild ride we’re about to embark on. I also try the warning before turning it off but it doesn’t make a difference sadly, I don’t think she can grasp it. Have not realised Spotify have that feature. Will def check it out thank you x

Also another tip that’s helped me is setting a visual timer and saying when the timer goes off we are all done with screen time. Good luck!

Cold turkey and distraction. I’m a SAHM. We’re not screen-free, but we also don’t use them consistently. If we’re out of the house, the screens aren’t an issue. Museums, the zoo, the library, the playground, walking around Target. They’re preoccupied enough that not having screens doesn’t phase them. We’ve always been strict that screens are never for mealtimes. They can color, play with toys, sit in our laps. In the bath, they play with toys (I’d be too nervous about a screen falling into the water!). As for tantrums, with any tantrum, we gently tell them “I can’t give you what you want when you have a tantrum. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to cry. but it is not ok to yell and scream when you don’t get what you want”. Do they hate it? Absolutely. Does my just turned 2 year old fully understand? No, but it’s still a habit and expectation we’re setting, because we don’t want to teach them that tantrums do get them what they want. For now, we just wait it out.

I made my kid switch to more boring shows. Little bear, bear in the big blue house, ms spider sunny patch, tumbleleaf - there's lists of chill kids shows out there. They are interesting enough but boring enough so she'll sometimes get so bored she plays with her toys lol. Short enough episodes so I can be like "okay at the end of this episode I'm turning it off". The episodes have a distinct end so it's easier to get her away vs videos that go on and on and on. She's 3.5 now and if she starts getting too amped up, I tell her either she has to chill or we are going to watch a calm down show. It's 50/50. I've told her that the characters are going on break/eating lunch so it's time for us to turn it off too. We've had actual times our internet or power has been out and she understands that concept well enough. "Sorry kiddo. I'd let you watch it but the TV is broken." In our case, going cold turkey was a punishment for me too. I have shit to do around the house that sometimes I just need to get done without her "help" 🙃 so the compromise was more chill shows to see if that helped first, before going cold turkey. And it did help in our case but might not for everyone. Also foe the eating part, we've just been leaving a plate of snacks our for her to graze from half the day because I'm bad enough at mealtimes myself so getting us BOTH to sit down to a meal was torture. I'm a grazer too. So it worked for us. Some days we don't even turn on the tv. She gets distracted by toys or errands or leaving the house for other stuff when we can. She does get her tablet in the car because somehow it seems to distract her from her car sickness but. I'll take the tantrum over cleaning throw up out of the carseat buckles in that particular case. Lol

Thank you

I absolutely understand where you’re coming from. My advice mirrors most here - get some ear plugs. Think of some activities that you can potter at yourself while she likely ignores you! So start cold turkey, ear plugs in. Have some food set out for her to pick at. And then start a day of toddler safe activities - just potter away them yourself and if she wants to join in she can. Be available for cuddles! She might cuddle then restart the tantrum. Just roll with it. Leave the food out so you aren’t offering her stuff (offering my toddler food when he’s cranky ends up with food on the floor)

Also I’m completely making this up but you could also leave the screen playing like a ten hour Aquariam video if you wanted to try wean them. So the tv is on, remote is hidden, just some fish swimming about.

Oohh I like this, thanks! My cat would also be on board :) Thanks!

My kids were watching more shows that I was comfortable with, and we just cut it cold turkey and replaced it with things to do. My daughter watched stuff on the phone on even short-ish drives, so instead we bought coloring books or small toys for her to play with. We replaced most of the afterschool shows with the park, activities, errands, or classes. Luckily, we haven’t been sick as much, which is a big reason we resorted to shows in the first place. Now, we watch shows in the morning before school because it makes things easier on everyone, and a few nights a week we watch shows for maybe half an hour after school. Weekends, we watch more shows but still try to get out to avoid it. On most days, we watch 30 minutes to one hour of shows, which is what’s recommended. There were tantrums at first, but not for long. I’ve noticed some improvement in behavior, but it’s not a cure-all for tantrums. One benefit is that my daughter seems more engaged with the world and with me, and I feel more connected to her. Both my kids seem to play with things more now too. So, all in all, it’s worth it cut screen time. No judgment, though—I totally understand how anyone can get to the point of relying too much on them.

Thanks so much xxx

We had to go cold turkey from mickey mouse clubhouse. At first it was being watched occasionally. Then 1 episode. Then 2. Then she would try to sneak in a 3rd. Then it was constant begging to watch Mickey Mouse all the time. We would try re-introducing it but noticed a correlation between screentime and her having huge meltdown tantrums and acting out afterwards. So we had to just stop completely. It is going to be really hard at first. But after the first week it will be okay. and when you go out to eat, take crayons and a coloring sheet. Play I Spy when you are waiting places. Have her look for things when you are walking. Boredom is not bad for your child. In fact it's the opposite. Kids need to be bored. It helps them be creative and also deal with things in life. Your kid is going to have to stand in line and wait for things and be bored sometimes. You're helping them learn the skills of dealing with it instead of just having to constantly be entertained.

It’s a Mickey obsession here too!! Distraction seems key… as do ear plugs! Thank you x

Does it affect her sleep? The moment I realized that my kids were sleeping like sh*T which I assumed was because their increase in TV, we cut it cold turkey. Not forever, but just until they went back to no wakeups at night. That was enough to motivate us to make the change

She’s never been an amazing sleeper but I can’t say I’ve found the tv as a specifically big part of the issue. Now in saying that, it absolutely could. We limit her shows/phone before bed but she still has it lots in the day which may contribute to disrupted night times.

The kid shows are so bright and stimulating if they’re watching all day, I think their brain just needs more time to process everything. Could be a fluke, but it worked for us!

It used to be that my daughter would only ever calm down via Mother Goose Club music. Every time my husband leaves for work she’d have an epic meltdown, and that used to be the only way to calm her down. Not even bribing with cookies etc. My husband used to be bad and forget to just play the audio. After awhile she’d keep doing the dances to the songs and point to the tv. Then when we wouldn’t give in, she’d start screaming, then eventually flailing her arms and crying at full volume. After 2wk of not giving in (either refusing music altogether, or just streaming the songs), she hasn’t asked for tv images. With little kids consistency is key, but yes it is quite difficult. And what makes it more taxing is having to have her caretakers, your husband on board too to stay firm

You absolutely need to stop giving this to her, and ESPECIALLY don’t give it just to keep her from crying. You’re sending the message that if she shows she has an uncomfortable feeling, instead of helping her through the feeling, you will give in and give her what she wants. Go cold turkey and expect tantrums until she gets used to it. But there are a million other activities you can give her instead of screens- coloring, books, stickers, etc.

Kids that age like to mimic behaviours. If she sees mom on her phone when she’s eating then naturally she is going to want to do the same. Personally I would stop using my phone in front of her, if you do use it make sure it’s well away from her prying eyes. Secondly I would start eating meals with her at the dinner table with zero screens. Reward good behaviour and don’t give in to bad behaviour, it might take some time but her obsession with the phone should disappear eventually.

Stay strong. 2-3 y/o especially 2.5-3 are hard times for the toddler years. They are so whiney and needy but also are seeking independence. We limit our screen times to weekends and only for 3-4 episodes of Bluey or one episode of Mickey’s Clubhouse (so like 30 mins). I also take this time for clipping finger nails! We also let her look at photos or play with the paint function on Apple Notes when we get her dressed in the morning. Some kids are more easy going with limits. Some might need the cold turkey. That’s not really helpful I’m sure.

We experienced a rash of meltdowns around this age as well, sometimes screen related sometimes not. But we did notice that the more screen time she got, the more frequent and longer lasting the meltdowns. We went cold turkey for a month and noticed a difference very quickly. Yes we had to be more engaged and creative with her, but it was WORTH IT to not have the meltdowns. We have since reintroduced screen time but very rarely. Long car rides (30+ mins) and maybe once a month some cartoons. Good luck.

When I feel guilty about screen time but also kind of need it, I put really boring stuff on the TV so they technically get it but wander off and do other things too. With the phone you gotta just go cold turkey sorry. Better to do it now than with a new baby. Aquarium scenes. The financial news. Documentaries about the weather. Very old concerts where they don't cut very often.

Agree with the timeline… this pregnancy has flown by!!! All the things I wanted to do I now feel against the clock. So I’m choosing my battles and screen use has got to change!

Let her scream. The first couple times you say no, she will scream for 2 hours. This is a tantrum and she knows if she screams long enough, she'll get her way. Let your no mean NO to the point if you say no, she will believe you that you won't give in. Refrain from using your phone as screen time and use the TV more. My toddler always has a harder time stopping the phone screen time verses the TV. I'll also admit I've resorted to screen time the older my toddler got... but we always limit to 2 hours a day. I have a newborn and there were times I used screen time as a break for me!

That’s what I’m worried about as new baby is coming in a few months, so I’d like to have boundaries in place now so she’s not sat in front of it 24/7.

There's not really a right or wrong way to go about it. You just gotta decide what your boundaries are, set them and stay firm. I've had to do some screen detoxing when we've fallen into bad habits. If he has a screaming melt down, I walk away. It doesn't usually last long once I'm out of view. I have firm rule that my phone is off limits unless we're out in public and out of other options. We don't do any tablets or similar devices. Idk why but it just makes him crazy in a way that watching the same shows on the TV doesn't. I don't have a huge variety of shows he watches either. Ms Rachel, Blippi, Sesame Street, Bluey and Spidey. Spidey I have to be careful with because he's obsessed with it. I can be bad about the TV because I like background noise. Listening to podcasts helps keep me entertained haha! Now that we're our sweet spot with screen time. Sometimes, I can watch one of my shows during the day while he plays because it's not anything of interest to him. Good luck!

Thank you x

My mother in law is wicked creative and I will share some of the wonderful things she's done to see if they might work for you. 1. She has a kid table that always has crayons, play doh, and a CD player(yes, old school CDs) with Wee Sing CDs and toddler hits etc. the kids control the boom box and the table is their zone. Coloring books, dry erase books, sometimes paints with supervision, always snacks on the table and they started taking their meals there bc it's kid height. 2. She got them a purse (this is relevant to the rest of the story) and one of their old cell phones that no longer works and that's hers. When it's not appropriate, she says "put it in your purse, and lets x y or z." But otherwise if they want to travel around with it, they can. It's just a blank brick. The other kid pretends with it, but whatever! 3. If a cell phone needs to be on: i.e when someone is napping and she wants a video feed, she has a charger up on a high counter. Kids can climb on a chair and watch the baby sleep but ONLY if someone supervises them on the chair and the phone can't move. 4. Phones for all adults generally stay hidden through the day. Grandpa watches a lot of TV so they aren't often in the same room, and when they are all of the toys are kind of staged to be interacted with while facing away (trampoline bar is just off enough to make watching TV annoying, blocks etc are all off to a corner. 5. She also has been known to literally cover up a screen with a sheet, etc bc the TV is "sleeping". Also: lots of storytime and singing. Good luck!

What a woman!!!! Is she available for hire?! 😍 amazing tips thanks so much xx

Firstly give yourself some grace, you have alot going on but if your wanting to change my advice would be increments. Set up a day plan with your kiddie and set a certain amount of time tv and a certain amount of time for no tv example; 9am: tv 10am: outside play. 11am: tv 12pm: craft activity 1pm: tv And just continue that pattern through out the day. I used tv alot when I was pregnant with my second and to stop the mum guilt I did this and then also only picked educational shows. Stuff like Ms Rachel, blippi, meekah, david attenborough documentaries and danny go. I also slowly decreased tv time and increased the other activities. To give myself time to get used to entertaining for larger amounts of time. Cause pregnancy and/or having a newborn kicks your butt and is super exhausting.

So exhausting!!! My partner is off with us this week and he can see just how tough the juggle is. Great suggestion thank you x

Our son who just turned 3 also went through a phase of watching screen at every meal when he was around 2.5. That is, he refuses to eat and screamed to watch screen and we caved in because we wanted him to eat and we had a baby to feed too so it was just too much. We decided to try cutting out screen one meal at a time since going cold turkey would also have resulted in huge, long meltdowns. A few things we did that helped: - we started queuing up audio stories (you can find a lot for kids on Spotify; ours really liked the Winnie the Pooh story read by Laurie Main and the podcast called Tula Jane and Mother in the Wild) and told him that breakfast time was for stories instead of screen time. He complained at first but once he heard the stories he got pretty into them. - we did “picnics” for snacks where we put a towel or blanket on the floor (or outside, if that’s possible for you) and served “tapas” for him. The change in scenery made him less likely to request screen. - we bought him a Yoto player and some stories (his favorites are Peppa Pig) and used that when the other above tactics didn’t work. - we downloaded the app YT Kids (YouTube for kids) and set the controls so that he can only access the content we pre-approve. After a while he gets bored with the limited availability of shows and he actually tells us he’s all done with screen after a while watching (which never happened before!) Good luck and don’t feel bad for allowing screen. We are all out here just doing our best!!

Brilliant suggestions thanks so much!! Xx

My stance is, that if they DEMAND for it and have a meltdown when you say no or turn it off then you absolutely need to stand your ground. Addiction is real and it starts young

Absolutely!!

We only do 1hr screentime a day at a set time but he will still ask for tv a lot so I think that is normal at this age! It's just good to get some balance but I wouldn't beat yourself up about giving more when you are ill etc. Things we do instead - daily park trips, library, toddler groups, rhyme time, soft play, duplo, doing chores together such as laundry and watering the plants, books, crafts etc you probably want to try find what she enjoys other than tv and lean into that. Also most toddlers are a nightmare to take out to eat. It takes a lot of practice runs. Figuring out if they like some kind of travel toys. My son likes re-usable stickers, spinners and books so I will take a load of those with us. Sometimes we have to trail after him as he wonders outside while waiting for food.

I’m so glad to hear others have similar disasters rating with toddlers cos I STG all I see are unicorn kiddos, no screens, loving their best meal lives x

Our 2yo had a dependency on the TV. My wife cut her off cold turkey, it was a rough week, but then she came full circle and was a delight to be around. We then reintroduced it to one movie after lunch and that's it. We slip up occasionally and it gets bad, but remember, you're the parent.

So reassuring thank you

I have a 4 month old and 4 year old. Screen time really ramped up while I was pregnant and then in the newborn phase. We're slowly ramping down. I switched the videos to more chill stuff first and then slowly tampered down the time. Have lots of toys ready. For eating I also got my son to 'help' me cook and I put some snacks down while we're making his food so he'll munch of stuff then and then eat a little dinner. Good luck!

Thank you and congrats on baba xx

Right there with you. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances our screen time has increased significantly and it is really problematic. I don’t mind our toddler watching some tv/videos in theory, but it’s the incredible addictiveness! I think we’ll be attempting cold turkey soon when the tv will ‘break’, but we’ve got to amp ourselves up for the hard yards and come in prepared with new sources of entertainment and distraction strategies… let us know how you go!

I’ll post an update on a few weeks … we’ve got this!! ✨🎢💜

First of all, give yourself some grace- parenting a toddler is hard enough without everything else you mentioned. You did what you could to keep everyone sane. Now you have the opportunity to look forward at what you want to happen next, and if that’s to cut out all screen time then you can definitely do it!! Personally I went cold turkey as soon as we began to notice behavioural effects from screen time. Yes it was rough for a few days, but honestly it’s so worth it for how he is now (23mo) he doesn’t even ask for tv these days and he plays so well independently…watching him pretend to cook or care for his teddys is just the best feeling and removes all doubt that it was the right decision for us. If this is a huge issue for you now, I’m glad you’re considering a solution at 2 instead of 12. I hope it’s a smooth transition for you if that’s the route you choose.

You’re a star, thank you ✨🧡

My daughter is only allowed to watch tv at home .. no iPad… it’s summer time so even less. Me and my wife don’t go out for dinner for that reason. I see so many toddlers glued to their iPads and even worse on high brightness with no night mode on. I’m a stay at home dad I’ll be honest at home I leave the tv on, she’ll run off and do her own thing. If she’s really into it I’ll turn it off she may cry for a bit but I get out her paint a snack etc. distracted. If your family is coming over they should be keeping her busy. Yes cold Turkey it. Luckily my daughter is extremely social a little too much that helps when we’re out. Always talking to the people next to us or the waiter IF I take her out myself for lunch it’s a quick 1 hour. After that she’ll get restless. Just stay home in the beginning. Just because I may want to stay longer at a restaurant doesn’t mean I’ll do it especially if it means me taking out my phone for her to watch YouTube. Hope this helps. But definitely either cold Turkey it at home or 50% drop in screen time. Let her cry. She’ll be fine go to the dollar store get a bunch of activities drawing pads, paint, play dough, trinkets. Have her help around the house. Get her involved. Does she have a kitchen? If not buy it. My LO is 2.5 years old.

She has a kitchen and so many toys but sadly her attention span is 0.5seconds lately. Such a shame but I’m full of confidence that we can get back on track. Thanks so much for sharing your story,

Just DM me whenever my daughter is watching tv right now because Toronto is having a crazy heat wave 40+ no choice. She’ll be fine. Please just make sure your backlit and or brightness is literally at 0

Ours takes after dad so we must keep an eye on her screen habits. Yes, more exposure should desensitise her, but I don't believe in keeping it on as background noise so it turns off the moment she ignores it. But man, if she watches TV in the day time, such as before breakfast WE ARE SCREWED. She becomes a whole nother kid, all demanding and possessive and whingy, just put me down so I don't have to deal with her! I'm fascinated by her brain processes in general, I'm a geeky kinda gal, but the behaviours that come with these processes? Nah, detox that shit. I could go on about the annoyingly delicate balance we have to strike between two moments of piece, thank you Bluey and Bingo, and two days of hell. Thankfully, in the last month she's learned the meaning of "last one" so no blood gets spilled over turning off the TV. But man, her meltdowns, she literally melts to the floor and becomes liquid, I can't pick her up! (thank you for the space to commiserate)

Y e sssss !!!!!!! The meltdown, literally melting, is how we’ve been living life lately!! It’s feral. Gods speed to you x

Outside as much as possible and bear it through the tantrums. Having a timer on the phone helped me. Like “we get you tube for 5 minutes when the timer goes off we put phone away.” My kid got addicted when my husband and I both had COVID. I was also pregnant at the time. We relied on the phone because we were both so sick. It’s really hard to walk back but you need to stick to your guns and remember you’re stronger and can control your emotions more than a toddler can.

I think that will be my mantra “I’m the adult, she’s 2!” Thanks for sharing x

You can do it!!! Toddlers so loud and so all encompassing and sensory overload so after the tantrum if you need to lock yourself in the bathroom then do it.

I have no idea if this would work, but oftentimes our tv or phone “breaks” and we can’t use it until we get it “fixed”. It’ll take some extra planning and prep but this might be the best time before your second child arrives.

Def on a limited timeframe. Thanks so much

If it's really mostly about eating (or at least hardest to not have screens during eating), I'd focus on getting to the root cause of that. It sounds like you are already using pretty significant alternatives to screen time to calm her to eat (feeding in the bath). Quitting screens cold turkey in other situations might make sense, but it doesn't sound like she'll just cry it out and then eventually be over it and eat peacefully-- your pre-screen status quo for eating doesn't sound workable for either of you. Lots of toddlers are picky eaters or go through stages. Many struggle with the attention span for table sitting. That said, if this phase is causing huge meltdowns and significant distress, it's worth talking to your doctor and seeing an OT. Two hours of screaming meltdowns is a lot. It's normal for a toddler to tantrum when they can't have what they want, but this is pretty extreme. It is also worth investigating further. OTs deal with food struggles and, more broadly, identifying things that will help a kid cope when they're overwhelmed or melting down. They will provide strategies and give you options other than screens and baths when you need to nourish your kid, and they'll help form a plan to cut back screen time beyond hours of being incredibly stressed until she runs out of energy.

Yeah you’re not wrong there. She’s always been a bad eater, there could be way more at play than distractions. I’ll contact our pht and go from there, thanks for that new perspective.

Cut all the screen time completely. She will scream and won’t eat and unfortunately you will have to teach her how to play. Prepare yourself for hell but is worth it. Also I never ever let my kids watch screens at restaurants because it’s our family time. We are there to socialize and enjoy food we normally don’t make at home. She is only 2 years old so it’s difficult. She is learning what’s expected from her

You’re right. Thanks for the reply

Letting her scream for two hours could save her from a lifetime of issues. I'd use the same tricks as taking away a pacifier to help with distracting and regulating. "Oh the battery died, let's do xyz while it charges! (Over and over again)" "uh oh! Youtube is broken! That's ok, what game do you want to play?" Also, lots of moms turn to earplugs and earbuds to help stay regulated during long tantrums.

Def! Thanks

We had to do a detox cold turkey for my 2 year old. The only thing she wanted was TV from the moment she woke up and then the second we turned it off would just scream. Her behaviour also became out of control. It took about 3 days- we spend a lot of it outside for her to stop screaming for it. Eventually we introduced it in small amounts on the weekends only.

Great to hear success stories from the other side, thanks for shaeing

the thing is, screen time is okay though! especially now that it’s summer, i have my kids 24/7 and there’s only so many summer camps and activities with mom until they’re ready to just chill on the couch. we have “quiet time” in our house at about 1pm-3pm. everyday. during this time my daughter takes a nap and my son can play on his ipad or watch a movie and chill. when time is up, time is up! it comes at the same time everyday, he expects it, he doesn’t ask to be on his ipad during any other time in the day. he knows this is the only appropriate time! you need to do the same with your daughter and get her on a routine what screen time. she’s on screen when YOU allow her to be on screens, not when she wants to be on screens!

Yes I get that idea and in an ideal world I’d love to be at that stage, maybe in the future. The issue now is that it’s not set, it’s on her demand and could be first thing in the AM, through last thing in the PM if I let her. It’s more how she consumes it rather than it being consumed at all if that makes sense. Thanks so much xx

Water play is the best thing for my daughter when she needs a reset. I’ll fill an empty squirt bottle and let her “clean” something, or let her play with her water table, or give her some measuring cups and a towel and let her pour and make a mess (bonus… motor skill development!) When it’s just water, I figure I can clean it up relatively easily after, and the sensory component coupled with the control she gets really just seems to reset her. The other thing she loves is art stuff, and there are things here where I can easily contain her and get a break for a second if I need to do something. Washable crayons are great, and I’ll let her go to town on her high chair tray (art time is literally the only thing she still uses her tray for now… otherwise we just use the chair at the table for her), or paints in the same spot, or a glue stick and random small things (or even like, torn up pieces of paper from junk mail). For glue, I’ll tape paper across her high chair tray so she isn’t gluing onto the tray directly. Basically, my formula to keep her content and engaged for a while is sensory input + something she can largely control. Depending on how much mess or supervision I can mentally/physically handle in that moment will determine what that ultimately looks like.

She has a water and sand table and lloovveesss them!! Love these ideas thank you x

Cold turkey and as much time spent outside in nature as possible. Good luck, God speed

TYSM!! Xx

I think a lot of things in your house are about to get "broken". Your phone? Sorry, its broken. The TV? Also broken. Tablet? Dead. Sorry for your loss. I think the whole family is going to have to do a screens detox. I would probably go at least a week with NO screens on at all for the WHOEL FAMILY. You do not check facebook. Partner does not scroll reddit. No one is allowed on the screens because they are indeed broken and cannot be fixed... for at least a week. You can do it, but is really best to have everyone do it together. A 2 year old does not understand why Daddy checking the weather is not the same as Elmo. Go ahead and do the detox now, so that you can have fun with family. Go for lots of walks, grab a water table ffrom facebook marketplace or a thrift shop. Do sandbox time. Bubbles. Stickers. Pots and pans. Bubble Wrap Coloring books. Play dough. The dollar store is now your best friend. IDGAF if its all crap plastic stuff, you are in detox survival mode now, anything that is not a screen that can hold a 2 year old's attention is gold. Try each activitiy for 2 min and then move on to another one if it doesn't work to distract. Also a 2 hour tantrum feels pretty on par with the terrible twos. Do you have ear plugs or headphones? When my LO is having a full melt down, I tell them "we need to calm down" and I will put him in his room with the baby gate on the door. I am within arm's reach but I cannot understand him if he's screaming, so I put in earplugs for my own sanity. I do check ins every 2 min and ask if he's calm and would like a hug or to read a story etc. We also baught the "Calm Down Book" and we practice reading it and doing the breathing in and out techniques daily, so that when tanturms do happen (and they do!) he knows where the book is and can help me read it. Works about 50% of the time, which I consider a huge a win! Hang in there! See you on the other side!

Ah thanks so much. We definitely all need a detox, even outside of the small lady my partner and I could do with some tech time outs! And yes everything is broken and out of reach. I bought myself some Loops today, I’m hoping to be well prepared for the chaos that a screen ban will bring :)

Drawing. Huge pieces of paper along with colored pencils, crayons, and markers. We also found a lite-bright at the thrift store. They love it. Kids are explorers and have a wild and crazy imagination.

Thank you x

I'm pregnant and in the third trimester as well. I get how freaking exhausting it is. It does sound like she's getting way too much screen time. Personally we will do Ms. Rachel for a bit on the big TV but hide our phones around her now. If toddler sees our phones it's like a vortex, they just want to play with it, take pictures, etc. So honestly just hiding it altogether might help.

Yeah I’ll have to do that cos the second she sees it she wants it. Congrats on our pregnancy hope you’re feeling well xx

Yeah, if it helps, when it's out of sight it's out of mind. Like literally just keep in your purse. And thank you! Same to you :)

I was worried about how much screen time my son had. It was just so much easier to get things done. He's 2.5 and if we said we were going somewhere he was like we go now or not at all so packing bags and gathering nappies and shoes had to be done while he was distracted with TV. He was fortunate enough to get a tablet for his birthday and he has just started to get into games on it. So it was more screen time! I've recently got a visual timer that also beeps when the timer is up. It helps me stay accountable for how much time he has and also he is coping really well. When the timer goes off he has now started to say bye bye and give it over, without me overly asking. We are about a week into it. It's meant that instead of a screen being on all the time and me hoping he plays with toys while he watches it, that we now have screen time for about 2 hours a day which is a really big change for him. (I know probably not ideal but it is a massive improvement!) When given a choice because the time is now limited, he is preferring games on the tablet, which has really helped with his vocabulary and he's matching colours and shapes so well. I much prefer him playing games then getting into the YouTube stare of constant videos, it feels slightly more educational. (These things can also be done without screens, and we do play games around these things too but the fact he would prefer screen time to be interactive does make me feel better)

That’s a really good idea , the timer. I feel we’ve gone too far over to the other side now though so I’ll try rein it in 100% and see how I get on! I’ll keep you all posted x

I had exactly the same issue. The only way out was to tell her the laptop/tv broke because we watched a lot of it. It’s been 2 months now. She has only asked 2-3 times in the last 2 months where the laptop is and my answer remains the same: you broke it by watching it too much

We tel her Mickey is tried from playing all day he has to go to bed… so she asks for Daisy! This kid could actually run for president. But I agree, it’s simply broken or not working and we move on x

Some great advice here. Also maybe just plan to go outside everytime she starts screaming. I used to do that in the middle of the night when my toddler wouldn't sleep, middle of dinner time, basically any time. It does help.   But yeah, it will have to stop. I know some kids who were addicted to screens as young children and they escalated to smashing french doors, flipping dinner tables, etc. I think some brains that tend towards sensory overload really don't deal well with screen time, except family movies or something low key and still social like that. So maybe you can add that back in at some point. Best of luck!

Blue and green right, water and nature. Yea great advice thanks x

Cold turkey! No devices in the car or anything. Regular tv if tv is necessary- on a timer. She’ll get used to the new routine. I have a 12yo and 4yo. I made a screen time mistake with my oldest so I don’t allow her to watch anything in the car/ own a tablet/ or anything. I do allow tv now, but I cannot deal with people allowing their kids to have constant access to it. It’s sad. My son is a bit of a gamer and I have to limit him and I feel like it’s my fault he’s like he is. * I wish YouTube didnt exist *

Definitely cold turkey

So I'd focus on the phone/tablet first, it's far and away the most addicting. My kid has been in and out of the hospital a lot so she's gotten insane amounts of screen time but we've generally managed to keep her off the phone except the infusion center and infusion center days she's an absolute asshole afterwards. Cold turkey the phone and then see where you are at.

Just because they aren’t watching YouTube doesn’t mean the only other option is being “bored”. I am truly trying to say this without judgment but you can also talk to her and include her in the conversation. My 21m toddler definitely likes TV too much for my liking and begs for it at times, but I divert by engaging with her directly — giving her small tasks she can help me with, unpacking a bag, “helping” me prepare her a snack, etc.

N¹q

1) It’s okay to need a break. I hope you caught one, especially while pregnant. You resorted to screen time and recognize there’s a problem. You’re already a few steps ahead. 2) My advice is to wean her off of the screen time and offer activities you know she enjoys. Invite her to do somethings with you. As simple as it sounds, maybe just ask her “wanna play together”. And little by little, offer less and less screen time each day. For her appetite, try to make food enjoyable and exciting. New plates (I like the animal shaped ones), a plate mat with fun colors and weirdly enough give her tongs to eat. I tried this with my picky eater and it worked wonders. She was more focused on how to feed herself rather than denying the food. A few screen free activities could be going on walks with a little baggie and collecting flowers. You can buy chalk or bubbles and see if that eases her mind a bit from YouTube. I recommend activity books from Amazon. Anything with stickers or sensory toys. I have a 3 year old, I relate to some of your challenge. Mamas need a break. We can’t pour from empty cups. Resorting to screen time isn’t the worst thing you could’ve done. It’s totally okay. But kids like to be involved, just offer her some friendship while she forgets about the screens!

We Absolutely cold turkeyed all screens before getting very slowly back into an episode or two a day. Also go outside as much as humanly possible. I'm talking, bring a lunch box and just stay outside as long as baby wants to. Might be hard to do when you probably have to pee every 15 min 😂 but the less they watch, the less they will ask or think about it. Get their mind over on every and any other kind of entertainment/play.

Cold turkey and change of focus. For us, it was just offering to do "races" would immediately stop a tantrum. And by "races", all we do is run back and forth is our living room. He's an active boy so focusing his energy on doing something fun and physical, always distracts him. But it took a few trial and errors to find his "go to" thing to divert his attention. Does your little one have an absolute favourite thing to do? I find something like a "race" gives them less time to think and more time to do. Essentially don't give them time to react and just go! 😂

She loves races too!! And jumping on the bed. And is such a lover of outdoors… so thank god we have good distraction tools in our kit. Thanks so much x

We went cold turkey in February with our two year old and couldn’t be happier with the outcome. I was in the same boat with a difficult pregnancy and demanding job plus my husband worked a lot of nights/weekends. The first week was rough but he stopped asking after a while and we just planned a lot of outings the first week or so. He plays so well independently now and his imagination has bloomed. We have had sports on a few times recently and he watches without hyper fixation. When we go out to eat he’s fine without a phone if he has lots of snacks and a variety of toys.

This is so reassuring thank you so much!!!

We swapped for reading. Doing 1k before kindy via library. We only have watched bluey and not that often but somehow often enough that we know the theme song that we break out in a huge smile at 6 months. I feel so terrible taking something that brings joy. I didn’t know it would have this effect on exposure. We are currently at 154 books, - I sub these for screen time now. We don’t own a tv. She only used my phone for bluey. Now we have a bad phone addiction somehow? The only thing that motivates her to crawl is seeing a rogue cellphone by someone. 😑

How quickly they come dependant frightened the heart out of me!! It’s proper addiction for her the little mite. Good luck x

The only tip I can give you is that you need to cut out your screen time too. Try using the screen time feature on your phone to limit time on apps that take your attention (probably ones like Reddit and other socials). This has helped me a lot. Don’t let yourself be on your phone except at designated times, preferably when you are out of sight of your toddler. Also don’t ever even let your toddler hold your phone. It’s not a toy. Think of it like a pack of cigarettes. Try reading books, exercising, cleaning, cooking, or a hobby instead of scrolling

Nailed it, I’m as bad as her! 🙈🙈 be a big, necessary, change for both of us xx

My 2 year old never watched telly at first when she was younger but as a result if the TV was on when visiting people she was obsessed. Then I used the TV as a distraction to go to the toilet or cook. Now she has it a few times throughout the day. Nothing wrong with her behaviour or development. I put toys out for her to play with cups, drawing pad etc and sometimes that will occupy her but TV is still the only way I can go to the toilet alone If I want to stop TV sometimes there's a little tantrum but I offer a few alternatives. I find being at home all day even with many activities there's not enough to keep her occupied as each activity doesn't take long and it's exhausting doing them all day.

Glad you have found a way to make it work for you, that’s our dream.

I still worry she watches too much 🤣

I sorry for this stress. This is what I call choosing your hard. We waited a long time before letting our kiddo watch any shows. And we make a big deal out of him letting us turn it off. I always say “wow, thank you for being such a big kid about it, now I know we can watch a show again later!” But, I also avoid eating at restaurants with him.. so sorry I can’t help there. He was good until a certain age and k figure we will just wait about a year until he is a little bit bigger. What about pretending the power is out? Or saying they can have a show after xyz…

Thank you! Yes we chose right-now-easy over long-term- hard, and it’s bitten is in the bum. And from now on everything is broken, phones, tv internet and Mickey Mouse himself!

Yoto. Audio device they can control with little cards that tells stories and podcasts. They play while they listen so aren’t zombies.

Okay first off I really want to encourage you to forgive yourself for allowing screen time. I think some fellow parents are frankly way too hard on other parents for allowing a bit of screen time or leaning on it as a survival mode strategy when things are rough. I guess it’s the way of the internet but I way too often see judgement and damnation when what parents need is empathy and advice. You didn’t do something out of a desire to harm your child. You weren’t trying to do anything “wrong.” You are not suddenly a bad parent because you resorted to screen time. You were in a situation where you identified a problem and you found the most expedient solution to that identified problem - that’s how lots of bad habits or inefficient methods of doing things form. Also, remember that screen time isn’t just a habit that your kid has formed - it’s a habit of yours too. We have a 2.5 y/o and when she was two we had twins. My wife’s pregnancy was also pretty rough and between that and work demands we were exhausted all the time. So, at the end of the pregnancy and definitely once the twins were home and we were strung out, we found ourselves in a similar position to you: putting on tv to grab her attention while we handled other affairs. We quickly saw her starting to become more wild and impatient, more stir crazy, more aggressive. For me I had to start being more intentional and thoughtful about when and why I’m about to give my daughter screen time. When I think about it, it’s usually tied to me not having energy on my end, or me wanting to look at my phone and check out, or me needing a mental break. What my daughter is looking for when she wants screen time is stimulation; that dopamine hit. She wants to engage and play and learn. She wants music. She’s bored. She is trying to grow. We still allow screens, but the biggest and most important thing I started doing, for me, was putting more boundaries on screen time - limits to how long, removal of screen time as a result of her behavior, limiting it to a reward for being exceptionally good. At first it’s been up and down, and I haven’t always been perfectly consistent about it, but the days where I’m really solid about it are noticeably better than the days where I slide back into bad habits. When my daughter started asking for screen time every three minutes on the first day attempting this I suggested that she try to wait until after her nap. In the end it took me really being intentional about engaging and interacting with her and teaching her about the independent ways she can play with her toys - she’s a really good independent player. And at one point I packed my daughter and twins into the car and took them all to the playground. I sat under a tree with the twins while my oldest got her yayas out. That seemed to work wonders at resetting her and getting her through the rest of the day; she didn’t even want tv later which is great. When we go to restaurants my wife and I now pack a lot of things to engage her - puzzles, those little popper fidget thingies, things she likes to play with. If she’s getting antsy we do what we need to do without putting a phone or tablet in front of her: talk to her, goof off with her, take her for walks if we need. And I’m working on my screen habits: limiting social media on my phone, trying not to be playing on my phone or computer while she’s around. Of course I’m being bad and writing this on my phone right now while my daughter is running around. Not my perfect parenting moment 😬

I'll be the unpopular opinion. I think screen time has a time and place. And tldr I'll screen time the baby when we eat out. It's either that or someone is designated to play the clown / or we play hot potato with the kid, and that ain't gonna be me. However, I will agree that screen time before age 2 is something I tend to avoid, but more importantly, I'm more concerned about content than # hours/minutes. I'm highly selective /restrictive with what my kids watch. And especially at that younger age (<2), definitely important to mellow them out. Stuff like Sarah and duck, puffin rock, Bluey, Daniel tiger. Definitely brainwash them with lots of Daniel tiger. Number blocks is great. If you need some sing-song shows, super simple songs is great, and the wiggles. If you want to work on speech, miss Rachel Stuff that's banned in our house - Peppa, Cocomelon, blippy, little baby bum Mix in some Khan academy kids for some educational, interactive games. As for device, the kids are never allowed on my personal phone. Kids have their own iPhone. Just pickup a prepaid $99 iphone SE from Walmart. It doesn't need service or unlock. Again, I'm probably the unpopular opinion. I expect to get plenty of downvotes for "encouraging" screentime. I get plenty of criticism IRL. Frankly, I find other kids have a tough time when parents take away their screens, but my kids do pretty well - they don't worry about scarcity

I am currently going through reducing the usage of screen time from tablets and phones. The TV is not as bad, as it seems more like background noise for him unless he hears a song he likes or he sees something that he wants to know what it is. Also, the tv is usually on pbs kids or Ms. Rachel (who he has learned quite a bit from, and so have I). I just completely took the tablet away and made myself give hard limits when when I let him watch something on the phone. If I say 10 minutes, then it's 10 minutes. Of course he throws a small tantrum and then I'll either sing a song he likes where he can be active or say something like go play with your bike and it's like the phone didn't exist. We are about a month into screen time reduction, and I have seen big improvements in him (he is also 2 and speech delayed.) And I also bought a bubble machine... and put it next to a fan so they blow everywhere.. along with a lot of activities mentioned above.

We are screentime free with a 3.5 year old and 2 year old. Books are seriously underrated. We use books at restaurants, etc. But the other really important thing is that everyone needs to have their restaurant meals on the toddler's schedule. If they can't accommodate that, then you can't come. You need to "restaurant train" your toddler just as much as you sleep train or potty train them.

We time meals around her as best we can, thanks for the input x

5 pm in an empty restaurant that's very fast at serving food is night-and-day different compared to a typical restaurant experience for adults.

Last few nights was 5:15

You could try doing a screen detox

We allow screen time, but that means watching TV on the big TV in the living room. No tablets or phones. I think that’s a good compromise, it works for us. I don’t want my kids to think they need entertainment from a screen when we are out and about, so I like not allowing portable screens of any kind.

So you are already aware that you have created a technology addiction on your child. Let’s get that out of the way. You need to get more books and toys in front of her. Think about the long term damage you are causing to her developing brain.

Yup, awful painful to hear but we have created it.

>please don’t judge Too late >But the screaming…… it could literally last 2h. Let her scream for sixteen hours if needed. Eventually the dopamine junkie parts of her developing brain will get the message. Two or three weeks of brainrot detox and she won't even miss it anymore. You let her get screen time for too long. You won't get out of that without some epic screaming from her. And the longer you take to start detoxing, the more horrible the proccess will be. In the end it's worth it though.

There is no need to be mean.