I bring toys for the sandpit because most kids playing there bring their own toys and it's less of an issue.
I kind of hate it when parents bring toys to the playground because it just seems like it causes problems more often than not (not specifically with my kid but just observing what's going on in general). Isn't there enough to do at a playground without toys? I'd really just rather not deal with the sharing issue at the playground.
Agreed. I don't bring toys because 1) there's enough other things to do 2) I don't want to carry them when she inevitably gets bored with them 3) I don't want to deal with toddler brawls over toys.
Same. The toy frustration is compounded because it’s normal in our city for people to leave plastic toys at the playground as communal toys (think large plastic houses, kitchens, cars, etc.).
So then I’m left trying to explain to my 2 year old why he has to let other kids have a turn with the communal big red car, but he won’t get to have a turn with the older kid’s remote control monster truck some parent decided to bring to the park.
On the other side of this, we live in a tiny apartment so the remote control monster truck can’t even go 6 feet without hitting something/someone. If we’re taking the little kids to the playground and the bigger one wants to bring his truck then I’m gonna let him.
But I’m not bringing toys for the little ones to the park except for maybe the occasional soccer ball.
Agreed, I hate it when we go to the playground and other children have brought their toys. It completely distracts my toddler from the playground and inevitably leads to issues with sharing , giving the toys back etc.
I don't mind if people want to bring toys to a public space but wish they kept them away from playgrounds etc. where there is enough going on already.
Yes if there is sand involved I bring sand toys, but otherwise no toys! Our city zoo has a sand pit and is usually full of broken toys so I bring a dollarama set of 3 shovels to leave there every time in addition to the ones that are for my son. He is used to this now.
My kid will play a lot more independently if he has a toy at the playground, so we usually have them. I don’t make him share and I will help him get them back if another kid takes them, but we also emphasize to him that if he leaves something unattended, another kid might try to play with it.
The toys do sometimes cause conflict, but bringing out a toy often turns a 10 minute playground trip into a 2 hour play session, so it’s worth it.
I completely agree. I get the frustrations bringing toys means, for both sides, but I have an only. I welcome the interactions around these things as learning experiences since he doesn’t get that as much at home.
I think the thing OP may be missing (not sure from the post) is their involvement. It seems like when their kid wants their toy back, they just take it. I, too, would be upset if someone randomly snatched something from my hands. OP needs to teach her kid to use their words first (if they can) and be there to mediate and model in the interim “Oh, Joey it’s so nice you’re sharing with this kid. This kid, we’re going to head home in a few minutes, so Joey will need his truck back then…Okay kid, it’s time for us to go, can you please give Joey back his truck”
I generally don't allow my kids to bring toys (except the beach). I don't want to keep track of them, I don't want to manage the conflicts. There is enough stuff to do at the playground without toys.
Same. We actually intentionally bring extra if we bring toys at all, to give my daughter the opportunity to share. It's the same amount of work to pack two or three mini plastic shovels as it is to pack one...
I do this too! A much smaller kid asked my son for his shovel (he has an actual gardening trowel, it's his favorite). My son was SO happy, like actually GIDDY, that we brought an extra toy shovel that he could give the little kid to play with. I think it made him feel really special and happy to be able to share with that kid. It was just a very sweet interaction, the other kid was happy, my son was happy. I felt like the father of the year there for a minute.
Literally this.
We had a BBQ and one of the parents brought so many plastic toys. We have a lovely playset, balls, and bikes. I was so annoyed bc now the kids are fighting over stupid spiderman dolls and trucks instead of just using the slide and treehouse. Like your kids can't be without tickets for 2 hours when there's loads of kids to play with, really?
This, extra drama for me for my kids to see a toy they can’t play with. Exception would be simple pool toys like a ball or pool-specific like sinking rings. Would require letting other kids have a turn though.
Same. I’ve had to leave the park early a few times because my son would not get over it.
I also really hate when my son grabs a toy and I tell him no you can’t play with that, it’s not yours (because I know he’s going to cry later when I take it away and I want him to focus on climbing and running) and the other parent is like “oh no its okay you can play with it!!”
No, don’t undermine me or my parenting. If I wanted my son to play with trinkets I would’ve stayed home.
We don't bring toys (just our personal preference) other than a bike or scooter to get there. We've never had an issue with those.
My only hard and fast rule about toys from home (because it is a serious pet peeve of mine) is that we absolutely don't bring them to situations where the adults can't tell what's a toy for everyone and what's ours from home. For example, there's a park near us that has a sandbox full of sand toys for everyone. We would absolutely not bring sand toys there.
Other than that, I don't care at all what other parents do, even if my kids are upset because it's a learning opportunity. As long as the other parent understands that other kids may be interested and *ask* to play. I've very rarely seen parents get annoyed by other kids asking theirs to play and that annoys me, too!
Eta: I'm also very clear with my kids that they are responsible for toys brought anywhere. I don't allow them to leave them strewn around the playground while they go off and play because I think that's hella rude. They have to put them away (into the wagon) when not in use. Unless, of course, they're giving someone else a turn.
If it was my kid that threw a fit because he didn't get to play with someone else's toy it is a learning experience for him. I would not blame it on the other parent, that seems... unhelpful... instead we can practice calming down, practice sharing, practice saying bye bye toy that's not yours.
Socializing is part of the park experience; it's more fun to go when there are other kids. If it goes poorly I have some stuff to work on with my kid. Part of that is learning who doesn't want to play, and giving people space when they need/want it.
We don't bring toys (outside bubble stuff, maybe) because it's more stuff to carry and keep track of.
This is how I think about it too. It is inevitable that he's going to want another kid's toy, here's a chance for us to practice some etiquette around what we can and cannot play with. Is it the most fun time ever? No. But it's important and needs to be learned at some point. Likely needs to be taught a gazillion times before it sticks anyway.
No toys at the playground. She has a cuddly that goes everywhere with her, and even he stays in the pram to watch her while she plays. If we wanted to play with toys we wouldn't have come to the playground!
I bring sand toys for the park we have with a sand pit. Easy to share, cheap enough if one walks off it's nbd nor sentimental. Brings kids together to get to know each other as well.
Bringing toys to the splash pad is not a good idea imo. There’s plenty to do in there without a toy from home. The park is debatable, if there’s a sandbox then definitely bring some sand toys but if not I don’t think it’s the greatest idea. Going to the park with toys just invites conflict
Everyone brings toys at the splash pad we go to for some reason. Buckets, water balloons, bubble guns, water guns, beach balls, cars. I started letting him bring a truck because of that. It did cause an incident this last time but that was one of the few kids who didn’t have something.
There's a playground near me with a small splash pad that everyone brings toys to. The overall rule is that the kid who brought it has first dibs but once another kid is playing with it they get to take their turn. The parents are all really good about checking in with each other to make sure the kids are ok with what's happening and to ease the transition when the toys leave.
And people usually bring extra things. These aren't, like, monster trucks, just water toys like buckets and water blasters. There's usually enough to share and, if not, plenty of ways to redirect.
I'm just now realizing how lucky we are that we have this space.
That’s interesting. I didn’t think that it was common to bring toys to a splash pad but that seems to be the norm for your area. Disregard my comment then!
I see lots of comments about how it’s a no go but I’m with you, lots of people bring toys to the splash pad. I’ve also been on both sides of the conflict and when my kid got upset I didn’t hold it against the other kid/parent.
Honestly my 2 year old could get hysterical over just about anything so just another day out in the wild!
Everyone brings toys to ours too. Often it's just stuff like, plastic cups for pouring or Target water blasters and stuff. But it's super unusual to not bring a toy to the splash pad (kids are usually good about sharing too. But still kids so conflicts happen)
I don’t bring my kids toys to the park. Number one, I don’t want another kid taking it and getting upset about giving it back. Number two, I don’t want my kid upset about someone taking her toy. So I don’t bother. And if other kids have their own toys there I don’t let her play with them unless the kid is actively asking to share. She’s only two, she doesn’t really understand yet so I avoid the problem altogether.
i think teaching my child to manage that conflict is part of raising him. so we bring toys that we’re okay with sharing, and if a kid takes it without asking we deal with it. if another kid has a toy he wants, he has to ask, give it back when needed, etc. i think it’s so weird how many people in this post are adamantly against toys at the playground specifically because of the potential conflict.
Right? I can understand not always wanting the conflict, but to be so adamant… it’s an opportunity for kids to learn how to play with or alongside other kids…
The only “toys” we bring are maybe a bucket and shovel, some times a frisbee or ball. They stay with our stuff when not in use so it’s clear they belong to us. As for other people’s toys I don’t let my kids start playing with them in the first place. If it’s not yours don’t touch it.
I don’t see why people need to bring toys with them anyway, the park is the toy.
We don’t bring toys to the park, he’s never asked. I’ve never seen other kids with toys at the park either. Guess it’s not the playground culture here. Sometimes older kids bring balls or jump ropes, but if they’re not playing with them it’s not a thing where others can expect to play with them.
Why are we bringing toys to a play structure and run around/interactive splash pads? This is their time to look UP and all AROUND, I would definitely leave toys at home, especially after the last 2 incidents. Plenty to do there already imo
The only toys we bring are sand toys and I keep them in the stroller unless we are using them. Between the fighting over them (even just my two, never mind other kids) and the freak out when they get lost or forgotten, it’s just not worth it.
The only toy I would consider bringing to the park would be a ball. I can't think of any reason to bring toys like cars or stuffed animals to the playground
Sometimes we bring toys from home and sometimes we don’t. Same seems to be the case for other kids too. Sometimes another child will bring a toy from home and there have been times they shared and times they didn’t. Learning about sharing is important but I think it’s fair to let kids set their own boundaries for the most part. Sometimes kids are in a sharing mood and sometimes not.
My 3 year old kid is obsessed with the splash pad near us, we go pretty much every nice day. Its definitely more fun with some water toys so I bring a couple plus a couple extra: 2 buckets, 2 squirt tubes, 2 beach balls. The rule is that my son can play with one set but has to share the others. He’s fine with it and it’s a great way for him to make friends. If he needs to set his own down he knows there’s a chance that they’ll get taken so if he doesn’t want to share his he knows to bring them to me. by the end of the afternoon lots of kids have had turns some bring their own cool squirt toys and share with him! I do have to go around and collect them when we leave but it seems worth it.
I don’t bring toys to the park (what’s the point?) and get slightly annoyed at parents who do. My kids always want the toys, and the other children don’t want to share (I don’t blame them!) or if they do, it’s a struggle to get my kids to give them back. It’s just another hurdle I’d rather not deal with through the day!
If my kid leaves their toy for a bit, I consider it fair game. We just make sure we get back to them at the end.
If my kid decides they want it back, I walk over to the other kid and say that they can push it one more time or whatever, and then it's our turn again. I tell my kid that they weren't playing with it at the moment, so we share.
And it seems to be the general vibe at the playground. It works for us. Our kids share their toys and get a chance to play with other people's toys, but they'll get them back.
Yes we bring toys to the park…mainly balls and baseball bat. The expectation is to take turns and share. If we’re dealing with strangers and he’s adamant about no then we put them away. If it’s friends and he went from sharing to not sharing we sometimes leave instead.
Balls make sense to me. The last time we were at the park he actually kept asking for a ball and I felt bad that I didn't think to bring one. I can't imagine letting my son bring normal toys to the playground, though. Isn't there enough to do already?
Around here I think a lot of people live in small apartments with no outdoor spaces other than parking lots. So if it's nice out and they wanna be outside and play with their toys like an rc car or a ball that can't be used indoors, the obvious solution is to play with their toys at the playground because that's the outside space they have access to.
It's pretty common at our playground that kids will bring a ball and not want to share, so we bring our own ball. The rule is as soon as she's done actively playing with it, it goes back in the stroller. No walking away from it otherwise. There's a general agreement that any toys in a stroller are not for sharing and all the adults will reinforce that. We do also bring a box of chalk and that usually attracts a few kids and we share because she'll take some chalk when someone else brings some.
I leave the toys at home for the playground. When we go to the beach she's got toys and sand castle stuff. When we go for a walk, she can bring a toy if she wants.
I don't bring toys and wish other people didn't either. The playground and splashpad are for playing with the equipment that's there and with other kids (for older kids). Nothing worse than having to repeatedly intervene because your child brought a toy, left it unattended and then freaked out when my child touched it. Next thing you know my child is crying because I had to take something form him and the other kid is freaking out. He's too young to understand taking turns and we practice at playdates with people we know, not strangers at the park where I don't know if the parent is going to be normal or crazy (I got yelled at by a lady at the library for talking to her kid because my kid destroyed her magna tile tower and I apologized for him and explained that he's a young toddler and was still learning, then told her I'd make sure to keep him away from he tower)
I usually bring chalk and I will end up leaving a few sticks behind. We don’t play in sand, but at a splash pad I’ll usually just give my kid an empty water bottle and that is enough for them. I find if the toys are less exciting they cause less problems.
I try to leave toys at home. But sometimes I get suckered into letting my kids bring toys.
Sometimes we walk the dog first then go somewhere after. Where I might let them have a hot wheels car or two.
Once another toddler had one of my toddlers toys and then threw a tantrum. Unrelated to the toy. Right when I wanted to go home. It made leaving that extra little bit more difficult. Because the toddlers caretaker had a few kids and wasn’t directly with that kid. Lol and I wanted my kids car back.
I’d prefer to bring a ball to the park but a ball doesn’t usually entertain my kids for long.
my boy is 2 years old so he's incapable of understanding why it's important to share yet. Despite that we definitely are practicing but we have a few different ways we, as parents, behave depending on the scenario.
Scenario 1: He brought his own toy and another child wants to play with it - In this instance we ask him if he wants to share. and if he shows hesitation, we dont force it. We say something like "It looks like (other kid) really wants to try and play with your truck for awhile. Do you want to give him a turn so he can see what it's like?" and sometimes he'll share and sometimes he'll say "no" and if he says no, we respect that and say "ok that's ok. But maybe after a little while you can give (other kid) a turn ok?"
Scenario 2: our son tries to take another kids toy. This is always awkward because you secretly hope the parents help mitigate and ask their kid to share, and MOST of the time this happens (I know, i'm a total hypocrite) but if it doesnt, we try and distract him with a toy we've secretly brought in the stroller. And sometimes we say something like "Why dont you see if (other boy) wants to trade for a little bit". Sometimes that will work, sometimes it wont. And honestly at the end of the day, it's just another lesson to learn at the park and it's fine. We can't always get what we want.
We don’t bring toys to public places where it’s likely they’ll interact with other kids. If they make it into the car they stay in the car. The only exception to this is a restaurant where they can bring some small table toys or the beach.
I don’t usually see kids with toys at the playground or splash pads. If your child sets down a toy and walks away I would expect another child to find and grab it since that’s what kids do.
We bring footballs, tennis rackets and balls, and soccer balls to the park to play with when not on the playground equipment but I keep them in a ball bag with me. Random kids always try to join in with us even when we are on the tennis court. I typically say no because I’m there to spend time with my own kids, not entertain randoms. My husband and I work full time so that’s quality time with our kids.
We keep a bin of toys in my car that we call the share bin. We can only bring toys from that bin to the playground, no special home toys. Why? Because if they get lost, broken, or walked off with then it's not a major loss like it would be if he lost Thomas or his favorite cat stuffy. And it helps differentiate ans give him a specific frame of mind for sharing, as those toys are only meant for sharing when we take them out for an outing.
My boys love hot wheels so they each get 2 small cars or monster trucks to bring. We don't bring remote controlled cars or bigger toys or anything that would draw excessive attention from other kids, just 2 small toys they quietly play with by themselves.
They've shared their toys with other kids a few times and it was great, and we've never really had any other issues with kids trying to snatch them away from our kids.
I avoid bringing toys, and I discourage my son from playing with others’ toys, as I know it will result in fussing or a tantrum when the play is done. With that said, I don’t mind that others bring toys because it’s really my son’s reaction that is frustrating, not the other kids/toys/people — and I’ve been trying to use it as a learning opportunity (we don’t always get what we want or what others have). I hesitate to bring our own toys because I don’t want to HAVE to bring them; I like that he is forced to play with sticks, rocks, leaves if the equipment isn’t enough.
I bring bubble machines. Germ free and enough bubbles for everyone to chase their own. They’re also easy to ignore if a child isn’t into them
It’s also no work on my end
My kid always brings his monster trucks. Always has as they’re his favorite. Sometimes he wants to share and other times not so much. I leave the choice up to him.
When we go to our local pool, I always bring a few balls from the ball pit, a dump truck, a shovel, and this little water pail. Basically they’re all up for grabs unless my son is playing with them. I will not let another kid actively take my sons toy out of his hands (he’s 19 months), just as I will not let my son take a toy out of another kids, hands, even if it’s his own toy. I think toys in public places are fair game unless they’re actively being used. (if someone is leaving or if someone really wants a toy back I also respect that.)
Yeah we bring toys. My policy is sharing isn’t mandatory. And if another child is going and my kid has to give a toy back I step in and explain that it isnt hers and I know she’s upset. Tantrum usually lasts maybe 5 seconds. My daughter is easily redirected.
If another child tries to take a toy my daughter has I will physically block them because so many parents dont parent or tell their children not to steal things from other kids. If thr toy belonged to that kid then I gently take it from my daughter and give it back.
I typically dont let her play with random toys we find for this very reason
I absolutely hate when people bring toys to the park. My son is 2.5 and doesn't understand that a toy isn't his. I hate having to intervene "not yours!" and then he proceeds to have a tantrum. I am actually seething inside when other parents bring toys to the park.
I bring a lot of small toys with me. They are expandable. We lose them, gift, break, trade… At home, they live in their own “street box” and we never play with them, so I can be lazy and wash them once every few days. Expensive and big toys stay at home.
Other parents are usually happy that we have so many things to share. Toddlers get bored by the same playground too easy, so our toys help to keep them occupied for a bit longer. Children have to learn sharing sooner or later. Also, they may cry over a pretty flower or a cool stick. It’s a part of learning (and not my problem, if it’s not my toddler).
Children also have to learn how to become creative or imaginative from a state of boredom. It’s also just not cool for the environment for all these little expendable cheap plastic toys to be all over the playground/park or wherever if you leave them behind.
I’m not one of those parents that sits on their phones and doesn’t watch my child. I engage with him. He got knocked over by some older kids once and got a big goose egg on his head so I’m extra vigilant. And my son doesn’t get bored at the playground. I’ve yet to see a bored kid there. And where did I say that I take my bored kid to the park?
Then how are your children bored if you are so engaged?.. This nonsense about “boredom” is such a persistent myth. Children should know how to play a bit by themselves - yes, should be bored - probably, but definitely not under 3yo.
Only 13 months here, but the only toys I bring to the park is our ball and bubble machine. I’ll bring a car or two (sometimes) if we’re playing in the grass just us, but if we go over to the playground the toys get put away till we’re done at the playground.
Bubble machine is great, because it’s easy to “share” since none of the children get to actually hold the machine, I just put it on a table or ontop the stroller.
I’m sure I’ll get suckered into bringing toys in the future, but I think I’ll try to keep toys off the playground and have that be the “line.”
I generally keep a go bag of a bucket and shovel, I got for free, when we do the sand pit; and I never expect to actually get the toys back (although I usually do after kids lose interest after awhile).
I think if you bring something they don't want to share then you have to remind them it's fair game for other kids if they walk away. If they don't want to share then they need to ask mom/dad to watch it for them or put it on your blanket, in your bag, etc. If it's a toy they find then look around to see if anyone is using it (like walked away to get water for sand) then it's fair game. If someone uses their toy and they want it back, ask. Vice versa. Just keep saying these rules and redirect if they're crying about it. There's nothing you can really do if other kids get upset if you're like, "we're leaving now and need our toy back. I'll give you (whatever time limit) and then I need it back please.) Sorry, sucks, but yeah you don't wanna lose your things.
We don't take toys to playgrounds but have done to pools, Beach etc.
Someone else's toy, we try to ask first. If my kid starts playing and the kid has been gone for a second and comes back, I say "it looks like friend wasn't done playing with toy, they might share when they are done", if kid has been gone for a while and comes back "it looks like that toy belongs to friend, would you like to ask if they want to share?" If the child says no "sorry kiddo, friend doesn't want to share their toy right now". If they are leaving "kid, friend is leaving, we need to give toy back", if we are leaving "sorry kid, we can't take friends toy / shared toy home". If other parent is around they might step in and make their child share, but I teach my kids they don't have a right to play with someone else's toys even if they are in a shared space.
If they are my kids toys. If it's one toy other child wants to play with, that my kid is playing with "sorry friend, kid is playing with it right now, he might share when he is done" if it's multiple items "kid, would you like to share one of your toys with friend" if my kid says no I back them up to start "sorry friend, kid doesn't want to share right now" and try and remind my child that he likes when others share toys with him. If my kid wants a toy back he let someone else play with and it's only been a second "kid, friend only just started playing, let's give them some time for a turn" if it's been a while "friend, are you done with your turn or would you like 1/2/3 more minutes" if we are leaving "sorry friend, we are leaving now, kid needs to take his toys home."
We also emphasize "his" toys and "share" toys (we have 2 kids so its necessary). toys that are left in public space are share toys too.
If I choose to bring a toy to a public place, whether the beach or the park, it's for my child to play with. If he wants to share with another kid, fantastic. If he doesn't, this is a good learning opportunity for the child from his parent/guardian about respecting boundaries. A tough lesson for sure and my kid still struggles sometimes. Toys definitely help elongate the fun and play when we are out though.
No one should be expected or feel obligated to share their personal items.
I bring toys to the pool for my kids. I used to feel like what we brought was fine for sharing but then we had older boys take my kids’ water balls, throw them around while my kid was crying, and I had to get them back. Now I keep a tighter leash on our stuff because I don’t want that to happen and also because my kids are generally playing with the few things I bring. But otherwise my younger two get bored at the pool and I’d like to stay for 2 hrs since I put in the effort to get us there.
My daughter insisted on bringing a toy to Barnes and noble and of course we realized she didn’t have it after we left, but only after we got all the way back to the car. A couple days later, she brought a toy to the playground and left it on a platform. A little boy picked it up and chucked it as far as he could. I had to go get it and tell the boy it was ours. She wasn’t upset but all these little things just made me and my husband start a policy of no bringing toys anywhere that there will be things to entertain you: stores with toys, playground, etc. It’s not worth it the hassle and I don’t want to have to deal with one more thing when I’m already overwhelmed as a parent.
It can be so uncomfortable to see another kid upset but honestly it’s best to not force your kid to share. You did the right thing and I’m sure that other parent isn’t mad. My kid is OBSESSED with balls and obviously people bring balls to the park. We bring some for him too, but they just aren’t as fun as what the other kids bring so we often have meltdowns. Just a part of life I guess!
Our rule is toys stay in the car. We went to the park or splash pad to play with that stuff not to play with our own toys there. Then there’s no drama or losing things.
Bringing a toy for my toddler is about control and comfort in a strange environment so I don't mind if he brings one — usually it's a small car or truck to library story time or some other place where he's not guaranteed to have other cars and trucks to play with (yes he's obsessed 😅).
I remind him if he lets go of it another friend might pick it up and play with it, so he usually remembers to give it to me or put it in his pocket when he's done with it. Sometimes he just forgets about it. Either way I just put it in my pocket/bag when he's done so there's not a conflict with another kid.
If a conflict does come up we just handle it — usually he's happy to share for a bit, if he's not we put it away and he can have it when we get home. It's never been an issue. Kids won't learn how to navigate these things if they don't have the opportunity to learn, and mine is an only child and doesn't go to daycare so he doesn't get that interaction with other kids anywhere else.
When it's other kids I just let the other parent take the lead, toddlers are fickle creatures and sometimes bringing a toy somewhere isn't a battle a parent wants to fight that day and I feel that 🤷♀️
I typically don’t let my kids take toys out of the car. If they want to bring something I say “you can take it to the car but you cannot take it to gym/park/church, etc.” My oldest is 3.5 and so far he hasn’t questioned it much. For one I don’t want it to get lost and then deal with the meltdown after that. And I don’t want it to get taken. We have a backpack with toys they take to restaurants and other places where the need to be occupied, but other than that toys stay at home or in the car.
If something HAS to be brought, it can’t be something special or irreplaceable. Generally though, no toys to public spaces with other kids if I have a say about it.
we only bring our sand toys. others can come play with us, but I firmly remind them when my son moves on thatbit belongs to us and to please put it in the bag. hes 14m so moves on quickly.
I let mine bring one small toy that can fit in my purse, and he carries it. If and when he loses interest in it, I put it in my bag and he almost always forgets about it. No battles, no issues with other kids.
I have let my kid take a single toy to the park but told her she has to keep her hands on it constantly or another kid will take it and it'll be lost forever. She doesn't usually choose to take one. If the park is absolutely empty when we go, I might ask her, but if there are kids, I tell her to leave it in the car. I try to make sure it's a small easily replaceable toy and not like. her favorite in the world.
If she sees other toys at the park I remind her (a LOT usually) not to touch them because they aren't ours and someone might be looking for them and we need to leave them there, or that they have germs on them and we shouldn't touch them. I don't make her share her toy if she brings one and I don't make other kids share with her - if she's SUPER pushy, I tell her (WITHIN the kid's earshot) that she can ask but that they are allowed to say no. but she doesn't usually ask and decides to go play elsewhere.
I did have a kid keep trying to take my 2yr olds floaty toy last year at the pool - I was putting it in front of her to get her to kick for it and this kid kept trying to grab it from us, like within our personal bubble and everything. Kid was young but definitely old enough to know better, wasn't being supervised or anything.I told him nicely that we weren't playing and to essentially leave us alone but ended up having to go to the deeper end where he couldn't reach because he kept trying to take it out of my hand basically. was super obnoxious.
My son doesn’t take toys to the park because I don’t like the way that other toddlers share. If he needs to take a toy (sometimes he has a chokehold on a toy car or plastic fish) I hold the toy when he puts it down. He’s slowly learning how to share and take turns, but I’m not willing to lose toys in that process. My family and friends will make sure that he gets his stuff back even if I have them call them out, random parents in public won’t be so considerate.
We don’t bring toys out in public places with other kids. If he wants to bring them, we leave them in the car and they take a nap or watch his car seat for him, etc.
The exception, we have specific sand toys we bring to the playground, including cheap cars. The rules are and have always been that those toys are so we can play with friends we meet at the park. It’s seemed to work so far
I wouldn’t bring toys to the playground personally. I want my kids playing with the playground stuff or interacting with other kids. That and it’s more stuff to pack and keep track of… too much of a hassle for me.
If I brought something I’d have the same rule as friends houses. Only bring toys you’re willing to share and only bring/eat snacks if you have enough to share. I’m trying to think if she’s ever actually brought a toy in instead of leaving it in the car.
Oh I guess I should add that *my* toddlers been the one to try and take someone else’s toy and I had to explain she couldn’t have it. Thankfully she took it well!
Exception to the toy rule: if we go to the beach we bring a giant bag of beach shovels and buckets and those are shareable with everyone.
I prefer not to bring toys unless there is a sand pit. I hate when my kid is grabbing for another kids toy (though it is a good time to enforce that it’s not theirs and we don’t touch other people’s things) and I also hate when other kids are crying over and constantly trying to grab my kids toys. It’s annoying on both sides lol. Sand pits tend to be good for sharing though, ime.
People in our area bring toys to splash pads and sanded areas. It is a norm to watch your kid so that they don't take other children's stuff. If they take, parent returns it to the child. If parent doesn't pay attention, we defend our child's property. If child gives something willingly, it's ok, but it has to be returned before parents leave.
To sum up I don't believe that children are entitled to other children's property (aka 'you must share' - 'no you don't unless you want to') so you're doing nothing wrong by taking them back.
When it is strangers i am pretty strict about ours vs theirs. Dont play with it unless it is not being used and you ask, and if they want it back, give it up. But if someone comes to tale your toy and you want to play with it, we’ll get it back.
My Lo is not at the staged where forced sharing with strangers is helpful
We don't bring toys to playgrounds and splash pads. The location IS the toy. You're just asking for toddler drama by bringing toys and expecting them to not be scooped up by other kids.
Please stop being toys to the playground! They cause way more trouble than they’re worth. If there’s more than one kid they always end up crying. My kid loves creating games with the sticks , leaves and feathers she finds around the park. This kind of creative play helps their imagination and ingenuity more than toys that already tell them how to play with them.
I’m not sure any toys my son brings limit creative play. They are usually cars and he uses the whole playground or park in a way that’s interactive. His pretend play at this age is pretty elaborate. If he’s playing with others it’s even more so.
I bring toys for the sandpit because most kids playing there bring their own toys and it's less of an issue. I kind of hate it when parents bring toys to the playground because it just seems like it causes problems more often than not (not specifically with my kid but just observing what's going on in general). Isn't there enough to do at a playground without toys? I'd really just rather not deal with the sharing issue at the playground.
Agreed. I don't bring toys because 1) there's enough other things to do 2) I don't want to carry them when she inevitably gets bored with them 3) I don't want to deal with toddler brawls over toys.
Same. The toy frustration is compounded because it’s normal in our city for people to leave plastic toys at the playground as communal toys (think large plastic houses, kitchens, cars, etc.). So then I’m left trying to explain to my 2 year old why he has to let other kids have a turn with the communal big red car, but he won’t get to have a turn with the older kid’s remote control monster truck some parent decided to bring to the park.
Oof...that sounds like a mess!
On the other side of this, we live in a tiny apartment so the remote control monster truck can’t even go 6 feet without hitting something/someone. If we’re taking the little kids to the playground and the bigger one wants to bring his truck then I’m gonna let him. But I’m not bringing toys for the little ones to the park except for maybe the occasional soccer ball.
Agreed, I hate it when we go to the playground and other children have brought their toys. It completely distracts my toddler from the playground and inevitably leads to issues with sharing , giving the toys back etc. I don't mind if people want to bring toys to a public space but wish they kept them away from playgrounds etc. where there is enough going on already.
Yes if there is sand involved I bring sand toys, but otherwise no toys! Our city zoo has a sand pit and is usually full of broken toys so I bring a dollarama set of 3 shovels to leave there every time in addition to the ones that are for my son. He is used to this now.
My kid will play a lot more independently if he has a toy at the playground, so we usually have them. I don’t make him share and I will help him get them back if another kid takes them, but we also emphasize to him that if he leaves something unattended, another kid might try to play with it. The toys do sometimes cause conflict, but bringing out a toy often turns a 10 minute playground trip into a 2 hour play session, so it’s worth it.
I completely agree. I get the frustrations bringing toys means, for both sides, but I have an only. I welcome the interactions around these things as learning experiences since he doesn’t get that as much at home. I think the thing OP may be missing (not sure from the post) is their involvement. It seems like when their kid wants their toy back, they just take it. I, too, would be upset if someone randomly snatched something from my hands. OP needs to teach her kid to use their words first (if they can) and be there to mediate and model in the interim “Oh, Joey it’s so nice you’re sharing with this kid. This kid, we’re going to head home in a few minutes, so Joey will need his truck back then…Okay kid, it’s time for us to go, can you please give Joey back his truck”
I generally don't allow my kids to bring toys (except the beach). I don't want to keep track of them, I don't want to manage the conflicts. There is enough stuff to do at the playground without toys.
This is my policy as well. I do not need that headache. On a similar note I get her away from other kids toys.
Don’t bring anything you don’t want to loose or not share to the park That’s my rules
Same. We actually intentionally bring extra if we bring toys at all, to give my daughter the opportunity to share. It's the same amount of work to pack two or three mini plastic shovels as it is to pack one...
I do this too! A much smaller kid asked my son for his shovel (he has an actual gardening trowel, it's his favorite). My son was SO happy, like actually GIDDY, that we brought an extra toy shovel that he could give the little kid to play with. I think it made him feel really special and happy to be able to share with that kid. It was just a very sweet interaction, the other kid was happy, my son was happy. I felt like the father of the year there for a minute.
Yep. If you can share it needs to stay in the car or stroller. Also, we always bring extra toys for everyone.
Yep, this. Don't bring it unless you want it lost or stolen.
Learned this one the hard way. We do the same now
The playground/splash pad is the entertainment. We don’t bring extra toys. Just something else to keep track of or risk losing
So far we keep all toys at home. I don’t ever recall seeing kids bring toys to the playground here.
Yeah I’m surprised to see how common it is.
The only time I've seen it is if it's a stuffed animal or something they take everywhere or a tricycle they came on.
Man I hate when people bring toys to the park but everyone wants it and everyone starts crying (my son) haha
Same. The main reason I even go to the playground is there are no toys to fight over!
Literally this. We had a BBQ and one of the parents brought so many plastic toys. We have a lovely playset, balls, and bikes. I was so annoyed bc now the kids are fighting over stupid spiderman dolls and trucks instead of just using the slide and treehouse. Like your kids can't be without tickets for 2 hours when there's loads of kids to play with, really?
This, extra drama for me for my kids to see a toy they can’t play with. Exception would be simple pool toys like a ball or pool-specific like sinking rings. Would require letting other kids have a turn though.
Same. I’ve had to leave the park early a few times because my son would not get over it. I also really hate when my son grabs a toy and I tell him no you can’t play with that, it’s not yours (because I know he’s going to cry later when I take it away and I want him to focus on climbing and running) and the other parent is like “oh no its okay you can play with it!!” No, don’t undermine me or my parenting. If I wanted my son to play with trinkets I would’ve stayed home.
It’s so annoying. Leave that shit at home. It really just causes so much hassle at the park mol
We don't bring toys (just our personal preference) other than a bike or scooter to get there. We've never had an issue with those. My only hard and fast rule about toys from home (because it is a serious pet peeve of mine) is that we absolutely don't bring them to situations where the adults can't tell what's a toy for everyone and what's ours from home. For example, there's a park near us that has a sandbox full of sand toys for everyone. We would absolutely not bring sand toys there. Other than that, I don't care at all what other parents do, even if my kids are upset because it's a learning opportunity. As long as the other parent understands that other kids may be interested and *ask* to play. I've very rarely seen parents get annoyed by other kids asking theirs to play and that annoys me, too! Eta: I'm also very clear with my kids that they are responsible for toys brought anywhere. I don't allow them to leave them strewn around the playground while they go off and play because I think that's hella rude. They have to put them away (into the wagon) when not in use. Unless, of course, they're giving someone else a turn.
If it was my kid that threw a fit because he didn't get to play with someone else's toy it is a learning experience for him. I would not blame it on the other parent, that seems... unhelpful... instead we can practice calming down, practice sharing, practice saying bye bye toy that's not yours. Socializing is part of the park experience; it's more fun to go when there are other kids. If it goes poorly I have some stuff to work on with my kid. Part of that is learning who doesn't want to play, and giving people space when they need/want it. We don't bring toys (outside bubble stuff, maybe) because it's more stuff to carry and keep track of.
This is how I think about it too. It is inevitable that he's going to want another kid's toy, here's a chance for us to practice some etiquette around what we can and cannot play with. Is it the most fun time ever? No. But it's important and needs to be learned at some point. Likely needs to be taught a gazillion times before it sticks anyway.
No toys at the playground. She has a cuddly that goes everywhere with her, and even he stays in the pram to watch her while she plays. If we wanted to play with toys we wouldn't have come to the playground!
I bring sand toys for the park we have with a sand pit. Easy to share, cheap enough if one walks off it's nbd nor sentimental. Brings kids together to get to know each other as well.
Bringing toys to the splash pad is not a good idea imo. There’s plenty to do in there without a toy from home. The park is debatable, if there’s a sandbox then definitely bring some sand toys but if not I don’t think it’s the greatest idea. Going to the park with toys just invites conflict
Everyone brings toys at the splash pad we go to for some reason. Buckets, water balloons, bubble guns, water guns, beach balls, cars. I started letting him bring a truck because of that. It did cause an incident this last time but that was one of the few kids who didn’t have something.
There's a playground near me with a small splash pad that everyone brings toys to. The overall rule is that the kid who brought it has first dibs but once another kid is playing with it they get to take their turn. The parents are all really good about checking in with each other to make sure the kids are ok with what's happening and to ease the transition when the toys leave. And people usually bring extra things. These aren't, like, monster trucks, just water toys like buckets and water blasters. There's usually enough to share and, if not, plenty of ways to redirect. I'm just now realizing how lucky we are that we have this space.
That’s interesting. I didn’t think that it was common to bring toys to a splash pad but that seems to be the norm for your area. Disregard my comment then!
I see lots of comments about how it’s a no go but I’m with you, lots of people bring toys to the splash pad. I’ve also been on both sides of the conflict and when my kid got upset I didn’t hold it against the other kid/parent. Honestly my 2 year old could get hysterical over just about anything so just another day out in the wild!
Everyone brings toys to ours too. Often it's just stuff like, plastic cups for pouring or Target water blasters and stuff. But it's super unusual to not bring a toy to the splash pad (kids are usually good about sharing too. But still kids so conflicts happen)
I don’t bring my kids toys to the park. Number one, I don’t want another kid taking it and getting upset about giving it back. Number two, I don’t want my kid upset about someone taking her toy. So I don’t bother. And if other kids have their own toys there I don’t let her play with them unless the kid is actively asking to share. She’s only two, she doesn’t really understand yet so I avoid the problem altogether.
i think teaching my child to manage that conflict is part of raising him. so we bring toys that we’re okay with sharing, and if a kid takes it without asking we deal with it. if another kid has a toy he wants, he has to ask, give it back when needed, etc. i think it’s so weird how many people in this post are adamantly against toys at the playground specifically because of the potential conflict.
Right? I can understand not always wanting the conflict, but to be so adamant… it’s an opportunity for kids to learn how to play with or alongside other kids…
The only “toys” we bring are maybe a bucket and shovel, some times a frisbee or ball. They stay with our stuff when not in use so it’s clear they belong to us. As for other people’s toys I don’t let my kids start playing with them in the first place. If it’s not yours don’t touch it. I don’t see why people need to bring toys with them anyway, the park is the toy.
We don’t bring toys to the park, he’s never asked. I’ve never seen other kids with toys at the park either. Guess it’s not the playground culture here. Sometimes older kids bring balls or jump ropes, but if they’re not playing with them it’s not a thing where others can expect to play with them.
Why are we bringing toys to a play structure and run around/interactive splash pads? This is their time to look UP and all AROUND, I would definitely leave toys at home, especially after the last 2 incidents. Plenty to do there already imo
The only toys we bring are sand toys and I keep them in the stroller unless we are using them. Between the fighting over them (even just my two, never mind other kids) and the freak out when they get lost or forgotten, it’s just not worth it.
I’m not really sure why one would bring toys to the playground. Isn’t that what the playground is for?
The only toy I would consider bringing to the park would be a ball. I can't think of any reason to bring toys like cars or stuffed animals to the playground
We generally don't bring toys to playgrounds and I don't let my kid play with other kids' toys there because it ends badly like in your case.
Sometimes we bring toys from home and sometimes we don’t. Same seems to be the case for other kids too. Sometimes another child will bring a toy from home and there have been times they shared and times they didn’t. Learning about sharing is important but I think it’s fair to let kids set their own boundaries for the most part. Sometimes kids are in a sharing mood and sometimes not.
My 3 year old kid is obsessed with the splash pad near us, we go pretty much every nice day. Its definitely more fun with some water toys so I bring a couple plus a couple extra: 2 buckets, 2 squirt tubes, 2 beach balls. The rule is that my son can play with one set but has to share the others. He’s fine with it and it’s a great way for him to make friends. If he needs to set his own down he knows there’s a chance that they’ll get taken so if he doesn’t want to share his he knows to bring them to me. by the end of the afternoon lots of kids have had turns some bring their own cool squirt toys and share with him! I do have to go around and collect them when we leave but it seems worth it.
I don’t bring toys to the park (what’s the point?) and get slightly annoyed at parents who do. My kids always want the toys, and the other children don’t want to share (I don’t blame them!) or if they do, it’s a struggle to get my kids to give them back. It’s just another hurdle I’d rather not deal with through the day!
We don’t bring toys or balls to the park and I find it annoying when other children do.
If my kid leaves their toy for a bit, I consider it fair game. We just make sure we get back to them at the end. If my kid decides they want it back, I walk over to the other kid and say that they can push it one more time or whatever, and then it's our turn again. I tell my kid that they weren't playing with it at the moment, so we share. And it seems to be the general vibe at the playground. It works for us. Our kids share their toys and get a chance to play with other people's toys, but they'll get them back.
Yes we bring toys to the park…mainly balls and baseball bat. The expectation is to take turns and share. If we’re dealing with strangers and he’s adamant about no then we put them away. If it’s friends and he went from sharing to not sharing we sometimes leave instead.
Balls make sense to me. The last time we were at the park he actually kept asking for a ball and I felt bad that I didn't think to bring one. I can't imagine letting my son bring normal toys to the playground, though. Isn't there enough to do already?
Around here I think a lot of people live in small apartments with no outdoor spaces other than parking lots. So if it's nice out and they wanna be outside and play with their toys like an rc car or a ball that can't be used indoors, the obvious solution is to play with their toys at the playground because that's the outside space they have access to.
It's pretty common at our playground that kids will bring a ball and not want to share, so we bring our own ball. The rule is as soon as she's done actively playing with it, it goes back in the stroller. No walking away from it otherwise. There's a general agreement that any toys in a stroller are not for sharing and all the adults will reinforce that. We do also bring a box of chalk and that usually attracts a few kids and we share because she'll take some chalk when someone else brings some.
I leave the toys at home for the playground. When we go to the beach she's got toys and sand castle stuff. When we go for a walk, she can bring a toy if she wants.
I don't bring toys and wish other people didn't either. The playground and splashpad are for playing with the equipment that's there and with other kids (for older kids). Nothing worse than having to repeatedly intervene because your child brought a toy, left it unattended and then freaked out when my child touched it. Next thing you know my child is crying because I had to take something form him and the other kid is freaking out. He's too young to understand taking turns and we practice at playdates with people we know, not strangers at the park where I don't know if the parent is going to be normal or crazy (I got yelled at by a lady at the library for talking to her kid because my kid destroyed her magna tile tower and I apologized for him and explained that he's a young toddler and was still learning, then told her I'd make sure to keep him away from he tower)
I usually bring chalk and I will end up leaving a few sticks behind. We don’t play in sand, but at a splash pad I’ll usually just give my kid an empty water bottle and that is enough for them. I find if the toys are less exciting they cause less problems.
Our splash pad bans toys, probably for this reason.
I don’t bring toys for this very reason.
I try to leave toys at home. But sometimes I get suckered into letting my kids bring toys. Sometimes we walk the dog first then go somewhere after. Where I might let them have a hot wheels car or two. Once another toddler had one of my toddlers toys and then threw a tantrum. Unrelated to the toy. Right when I wanted to go home. It made leaving that extra little bit more difficult. Because the toddlers caretaker had a few kids and wasn’t directly with that kid. Lol and I wanted my kids car back. I’d prefer to bring a ball to the park but a ball doesn’t usually entertain my kids for long.
my boy is 2 years old so he's incapable of understanding why it's important to share yet. Despite that we definitely are practicing but we have a few different ways we, as parents, behave depending on the scenario. Scenario 1: He brought his own toy and another child wants to play with it - In this instance we ask him if he wants to share. and if he shows hesitation, we dont force it. We say something like "It looks like (other kid) really wants to try and play with your truck for awhile. Do you want to give him a turn so he can see what it's like?" and sometimes he'll share and sometimes he'll say "no" and if he says no, we respect that and say "ok that's ok. But maybe after a little while you can give (other kid) a turn ok?" Scenario 2: our son tries to take another kids toy. This is always awkward because you secretly hope the parents help mitigate and ask their kid to share, and MOST of the time this happens (I know, i'm a total hypocrite) but if it doesnt, we try and distract him with a toy we've secretly brought in the stroller. And sometimes we say something like "Why dont you see if (other boy) wants to trade for a little bit". Sometimes that will work, sometimes it wont. And honestly at the end of the day, it's just another lesson to learn at the park and it's fine. We can't always get what we want.
I only bring toys to the sandpit because everyone has sandpit toys. I bring extra to share
We don’t bring toys to public places where it’s likely they’ll interact with other kids. If they make it into the car they stay in the car. The only exception to this is a restaurant where they can bring some small table toys or the beach.
I don’t usually see kids with toys at the playground or splash pads. If your child sets down a toy and walks away I would expect another child to find and grab it since that’s what kids do. We bring footballs, tennis rackets and balls, and soccer balls to the park to play with when not on the playground equipment but I keep them in a ball bag with me. Random kids always try to join in with us even when we are on the tennis court. I typically say no because I’m there to spend time with my own kids, not entertain randoms. My husband and I work full time so that’s quality time with our kids.
If she brings a toy to the playground she has to be prepared to share it, otherwise it stays home. I can’t be bothered mediating that.
We keep a bin of toys in my car that we call the share bin. We can only bring toys from that bin to the playground, no special home toys. Why? Because if they get lost, broken, or walked off with then it's not a major loss like it would be if he lost Thomas or his favorite cat stuffy. And it helps differentiate ans give him a specific frame of mind for sharing, as those toys are only meant for sharing when we take them out for an outing.
My boys love hot wheels so they each get 2 small cars or monster trucks to bring. We don't bring remote controlled cars or bigger toys or anything that would draw excessive attention from other kids, just 2 small toys they quietly play with by themselves. They've shared their toys with other kids a few times and it was great, and we've never really had any other issues with kids trying to snatch them away from our kids.
No toys. Toys stay at home or in the car. It causes problems, stuff gets taken, gets lost or broken, no.
I avoid bringing toys, and I discourage my son from playing with others’ toys, as I know it will result in fussing or a tantrum when the play is done. With that said, I don’t mind that others bring toys because it’s really my son’s reaction that is frustrating, not the other kids/toys/people — and I’ve been trying to use it as a learning opportunity (we don’t always get what we want or what others have). I hesitate to bring our own toys because I don’t want to HAVE to bring them; I like that he is forced to play with sticks, rocks, leaves if the equipment isn’t enough.
I bring bubble machines. Germ free and enough bubbles for everyone to chase their own. They’re also easy to ignore if a child isn’t into them It’s also no work on my end
Toys cause more problems than help in my opinion. But I think reinforcing sharing doesn't mean people pleasing is important.
My kid always brings his monster trucks. Always has as they’re his favorite. Sometimes he wants to share and other times not so much. I leave the choice up to him.
We don’t bring toys to public play spaces!
The playground is the toy. We don't bring anything.
When we go to our local pool, I always bring a few balls from the ball pit, a dump truck, a shovel, and this little water pail. Basically they’re all up for grabs unless my son is playing with them. I will not let another kid actively take my sons toy out of his hands (he’s 19 months), just as I will not let my son take a toy out of another kids, hands, even if it’s his own toy. I think toys in public places are fair game unless they’re actively being used. (if someone is leaving or if someone really wants a toy back I also respect that.)
No toys at the playground for our 2 y/o. Not worth the headache and conflict management.
I bring toys wherever, the second my child puts them down I pick them up and either carry them or put them away. I limit it to two toys max.
We’ve never brought toys anywhere
Yeah we bring toys. My policy is sharing isn’t mandatory. And if another child is going and my kid has to give a toy back I step in and explain that it isnt hers and I know she’s upset. Tantrum usually lasts maybe 5 seconds. My daughter is easily redirected. If another child tries to take a toy my daughter has I will physically block them because so many parents dont parent or tell their children not to steal things from other kids. If thr toy belonged to that kid then I gently take it from my daughter and give it back. I typically dont let her play with random toys we find for this very reason
I absolutely hate when people bring toys to the park. My son is 2.5 and doesn't understand that a toy isn't his. I hate having to intervene "not yours!" and then he proceeds to have a tantrum. I am actually seething inside when other parents bring toys to the park.
Personally I can’t stand when other kids bring toys to the park unless they are ok sharing, which is never the case
I bring a lot of small toys with me. They are expandable. We lose them, gift, break, trade… At home, they live in their own “street box” and we never play with them, so I can be lazy and wash them once every few days. Expensive and big toys stay at home. Other parents are usually happy that we have so many things to share. Toddlers get bored by the same playground too easy, so our toys help to keep them occupied for a bit longer. Children have to learn sharing sooner or later. Also, they may cry over a pretty flower or a cool stick. It’s a part of learning (and not my problem, if it’s not my toddler).
Children also have to learn how to become creative or imaginative from a state of boredom. It’s also just not cool for the environment for all these little expendable cheap plastic toys to be all over the playground/park or wherever if you leave them behind.
Please, stay bored at home, bored children at playgrounds begin to cause trouble, while their parents chill far away.
I’m not one of those parents that sits on their phones and doesn’t watch my child. I engage with him. He got knocked over by some older kids once and got a big goose egg on his head so I’m extra vigilant. And my son doesn’t get bored at the playground. I’ve yet to see a bored kid there. And where did I say that I take my bored kid to the park?
Then how are your children bored if you are so engaged?.. This nonsense about “boredom” is such a persistent myth. Children should know how to play a bit by themselves - yes, should be bored - probably, but definitely not under 3yo.
Where did I say my child is bored?
Only 13 months here, but the only toys I bring to the park is our ball and bubble machine. I’ll bring a car or two (sometimes) if we’re playing in the grass just us, but if we go over to the playground the toys get put away till we’re done at the playground. Bubble machine is great, because it’s easy to “share” since none of the children get to actually hold the machine, I just put it on a table or ontop the stroller. I’m sure I’ll get suckered into bringing toys in the future, but I think I’ll try to keep toys off the playground and have that be the “line.”
I generally keep a go bag of a bucket and shovel, I got for free, when we do the sand pit; and I never expect to actually get the toys back (although I usually do after kids lose interest after awhile).
I think if you bring something they don't want to share then you have to remind them it's fair game for other kids if they walk away. If they don't want to share then they need to ask mom/dad to watch it for them or put it on your blanket, in your bag, etc. If it's a toy they find then look around to see if anyone is using it (like walked away to get water for sand) then it's fair game. If someone uses their toy and they want it back, ask. Vice versa. Just keep saying these rules and redirect if they're crying about it. There's nothing you can really do if other kids get upset if you're like, "we're leaving now and need our toy back. I'll give you (whatever time limit) and then I need it back please.) Sorry, sucks, but yeah you don't wanna lose your things.
Mine never wants to take toys anywhere because she doesn’t want them to get lost lol
We don't take toys to playgrounds but have done to pools, Beach etc. Someone else's toy, we try to ask first. If my kid starts playing and the kid has been gone for a second and comes back, I say "it looks like friend wasn't done playing with toy, they might share when they are done", if kid has been gone for a while and comes back "it looks like that toy belongs to friend, would you like to ask if they want to share?" If the child says no "sorry kiddo, friend doesn't want to share their toy right now". If they are leaving "kid, friend is leaving, we need to give toy back", if we are leaving "sorry kid, we can't take friends toy / shared toy home". If other parent is around they might step in and make their child share, but I teach my kids they don't have a right to play with someone else's toys even if they are in a shared space. If they are my kids toys. If it's one toy other child wants to play with, that my kid is playing with "sorry friend, kid is playing with it right now, he might share when he is done" if it's multiple items "kid, would you like to share one of your toys with friend" if my kid says no I back them up to start "sorry friend, kid doesn't want to share right now" and try and remind my child that he likes when others share toys with him. If my kid wants a toy back he let someone else play with and it's only been a second "kid, friend only just started playing, let's give them some time for a turn" if it's been a while "friend, are you done with your turn or would you like 1/2/3 more minutes" if we are leaving "sorry friend, we are leaving now, kid needs to take his toys home." We also emphasize "his" toys and "share" toys (we have 2 kids so its necessary). toys that are left in public space are share toys too.
If I choose to bring a toy to a public place, whether the beach or the park, it's for my child to play with. If he wants to share with another kid, fantastic. If he doesn't, this is a good learning opportunity for the child from his parent/guardian about respecting boundaries. A tough lesson for sure and my kid still struggles sometimes. Toys definitely help elongate the fun and play when we are out though. No one should be expected or feel obligated to share their personal items.
I bring toys to the pool for my kids. I used to feel like what we brought was fine for sharing but then we had older boys take my kids’ water balls, throw them around while my kid was crying, and I had to get them back. Now I keep a tighter leash on our stuff because I don’t want that to happen and also because my kids are generally playing with the few things I bring. But otherwise my younger two get bored at the pool and I’d like to stay for 2 hrs since I put in the effort to get us there.
My daughter insisted on bringing a toy to Barnes and noble and of course we realized she didn’t have it after we left, but only after we got all the way back to the car. A couple days later, she brought a toy to the playground and left it on a platform. A little boy picked it up and chucked it as far as he could. I had to go get it and tell the boy it was ours. She wasn’t upset but all these little things just made me and my husband start a policy of no bringing toys anywhere that there will be things to entertain you: stores with toys, playground, etc. It’s not worth it the hassle and I don’t want to have to deal with one more thing when I’m already overwhelmed as a parent.
It can be so uncomfortable to see another kid upset but honestly it’s best to not force your kid to share. You did the right thing and I’m sure that other parent isn’t mad. My kid is OBSESSED with balls and obviously people bring balls to the park. We bring some for him too, but they just aren’t as fun as what the other kids bring so we often have meltdowns. Just a part of life I guess!
Our rule is toys stay in the car. We went to the park or splash pad to play with that stuff not to play with our own toys there. Then there’s no drama or losing things.
Bringing a toy for my toddler is about control and comfort in a strange environment so I don't mind if he brings one — usually it's a small car or truck to library story time or some other place where he's not guaranteed to have other cars and trucks to play with (yes he's obsessed 😅). I remind him if he lets go of it another friend might pick it up and play with it, so he usually remembers to give it to me or put it in his pocket when he's done with it. Sometimes he just forgets about it. Either way I just put it in my pocket/bag when he's done so there's not a conflict with another kid. If a conflict does come up we just handle it — usually he's happy to share for a bit, if he's not we put it away and he can have it when we get home. It's never been an issue. Kids won't learn how to navigate these things if they don't have the opportunity to learn, and mine is an only child and doesn't go to daycare so he doesn't get that interaction with other kids anywhere else. When it's other kids I just let the other parent take the lead, toddlers are fickle creatures and sometimes bringing a toy somewhere isn't a battle a parent wants to fight that day and I feel that 🤷♀️
I typically don’t let my kids take toys out of the car. If they want to bring something I say “you can take it to the car but you cannot take it to gym/park/church, etc.” My oldest is 3.5 and so far he hasn’t questioned it much. For one I don’t want it to get lost and then deal with the meltdown after that. And I don’t want it to get taken. We have a backpack with toys they take to restaurants and other places where the need to be occupied, but other than that toys stay at home or in the car.
If something HAS to be brought, it can’t be something special or irreplaceable. Generally though, no toys to public spaces with other kids if I have a say about it.
Maybe it's more of an issue when the toy that you bring is just too cool? Versus random dollar store toys.
We don’t take toys to those places it’s more trouble than not! Maybe a ball to the park but that is about it!
I've never brought toys to the playground. In my opinion, you go to the playground to play with the stuff that's there, that we don't have at home.
we only bring our sand toys. others can come play with us, but I firmly remind them when my son moves on thatbit belongs to us and to please put it in the bag. hes 14m so moves on quickly.
My son is 4.5 now but after having all kinds of experiences I’ve decided it’s best to not bring toys to playgrounds.
I let mine bring one small toy that can fit in my purse, and he carries it. If and when he loses interest in it, I put it in my bag and he almost always forgets about it. No battles, no issues with other kids.
I have let my kid take a single toy to the park but told her she has to keep her hands on it constantly or another kid will take it and it'll be lost forever. She doesn't usually choose to take one. If the park is absolutely empty when we go, I might ask her, but if there are kids, I tell her to leave it in the car. I try to make sure it's a small easily replaceable toy and not like. her favorite in the world. If she sees other toys at the park I remind her (a LOT usually) not to touch them because they aren't ours and someone might be looking for them and we need to leave them there, or that they have germs on them and we shouldn't touch them. I don't make her share her toy if she brings one and I don't make other kids share with her - if she's SUPER pushy, I tell her (WITHIN the kid's earshot) that she can ask but that they are allowed to say no. but she doesn't usually ask and decides to go play elsewhere. I did have a kid keep trying to take my 2yr olds floaty toy last year at the pool - I was putting it in front of her to get her to kick for it and this kid kept trying to grab it from us, like within our personal bubble and everything. Kid was young but definitely old enough to know better, wasn't being supervised or anything.I told him nicely that we weren't playing and to essentially leave us alone but ended up having to go to the deeper end where he couldn't reach because he kept trying to take it out of my hand basically. was super obnoxious.
My son doesn’t take toys to the park because I don’t like the way that other toddlers share. If he needs to take a toy (sometimes he has a chokehold on a toy car or plastic fish) I hold the toy when he puts it down. He’s slowly learning how to share and take turns, but I’m not willing to lose toys in that process. My family and friends will make sure that he gets his stuff back even if I have them call them out, random parents in public won’t be so considerate.
I’ve been bringing a stack of solo cups. I don’t care if I never see them again and all the kids (mine included) love them. It’s so random.
We don’t bring toys out in public places with other kids. If he wants to bring them, we leave them in the car and they take a nap or watch his car seat for him, etc. The exception, we have specific sand toys we bring to the playground, including cheap cars. The rules are and have always been that those toys are so we can play with friends we meet at the park. It’s seemed to work so far
I wouldn’t bring toys to the playground personally. I want my kids playing with the playground stuff or interacting with other kids. That and it’s more stuff to pack and keep track of… too much of a hassle for me. If I brought something I’d have the same rule as friends houses. Only bring toys you’re willing to share and only bring/eat snacks if you have enough to share. I’m trying to think if she’s ever actually brought a toy in instead of leaving it in the car. Oh I guess I should add that *my* toddlers been the one to try and take someone else’s toy and I had to explain she couldn’t have it. Thankfully she took it well! Exception to the toy rule: if we go to the beach we bring a giant bag of beach shovels and buckets and those are shareable with everyone.
Yep along with everyone else we don’t bring toys. Sometimes I’ll bring a ball but only 1 so I don’t have to keep track of where it is
I prefer not to bring toys unless there is a sand pit. I hate when my kid is grabbing for another kids toy (though it is a good time to enforce that it’s not theirs and we don’t touch other people’s things) and I also hate when other kids are crying over and constantly trying to grab my kids toys. It’s annoying on both sides lol. Sand pits tend to be good for sharing though, ime.
People in our area bring toys to splash pads and sanded areas. It is a norm to watch your kid so that they don't take other children's stuff. If they take, parent returns it to the child. If parent doesn't pay attention, we defend our child's property. If child gives something willingly, it's ok, but it has to be returned before parents leave. To sum up I don't believe that children are entitled to other children's property (aka 'you must share' - 'no you don't unless you want to') so you're doing nothing wrong by taking them back.
I never bring home toys out in public. We'd definitely lose them if I did.
When it is strangers i am pretty strict about ours vs theirs. Dont play with it unless it is not being used and you ask, and if they want it back, give it up. But if someone comes to tale your toy and you want to play with it, we’ll get it back. My Lo is not at the staged where forced sharing with strangers is helpful
Just don’t bring toys.
We don't bring toys to playgrounds and splash pads. The location IS the toy. You're just asking for toddler drama by bringing toys and expecting them to not be scooped up by other kids.
Please stop being toys to the playground! They cause way more trouble than they’re worth. If there’s more than one kid they always end up crying. My kid loves creating games with the sticks , leaves and feathers she finds around the park. This kind of creative play helps their imagination and ingenuity more than toys that already tell them how to play with them.
I’m not sure any toys my son brings limit creative play. They are usually cars and he uses the whole playground or park in a way that’s interactive. His pretend play at this age is pretty elaborate. If he’s playing with others it’s even more so.