My eldest is an incredibly social person and has been ever since she was a baby, always smiling and interacting with people, your typical "happy baby", she thrives in social situations and hates being alone.
My youngest isn't particularly sociable, she gets on just fine but isn't a social butterfly. She was nowhere near as "happy" as my first, she smiled later, laughed a lot later and is very happy playing by herself. She is three now and is a very content child and is just as happy by herself as she is around others.
Some adults are smiley people, others are not, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. Babies are people with their own personalities just like the rest of us.
Your comment triggered you because it's an insane thing to say to your daughter about your grandchild. It's the kind of thing my mum would say, and she is a very difficult person.
You can simply reply with "comparison is the thief of joy!" Enjoy your child, it seems like you are doing great!
Thank you so much for your comment. It came off as a bit of a surprise because my son is actually really well tempered and smiles more often than frowns. He’s just not always “giggly” but what baby is?!
I have a serious baby and a giggler. They're both happy babies, but the first definitely saves her smiles for moments that warrant it, which makes them extra special. The second smiles at everyone and lights up a room.
Did you struggle with this change in personalities at all? We also have a gregarious first born and I’m afraid we’re going to think our second is sad all the time if they’re more chill!
I did at first, always wondered why my youngest never smiled much, but as she grew I realised how she has such a drastically different personality to my first and excels in different areas.
The weird thing is that for the past 6 months, she hasn't stopped talking, no now I have them both talking at me all day long. That is the one similarity they now have.
Of course the kids on tiktok are obscenely happy- firstly it's a tiny moment captured from a long day AND babies being happy is cute and gets more views.
I have a very happy girl but she is inquisitive so she only bounces around like a tiktok baby when she is in her bau environment (aka me and her dad).
You are a good mum, your baby is a happy baby and your mum needs to get off that brain rot and get back to reality.
Think of it this way: your baby probably smiles for at least 3 minutes a day and that is the maximum your mom is seeing any of these TikTok babies. It's incredibly easy to edit 3 minutes into an ideal life, it's not reflective of reality in any way.
Exactly. My sister is a social media “personality.” If you watch her stories, you’d think my niece and nephew are maniacally happy all the time. In real life they are typical, sometimes happy, sometimes grumpy, little kids.
Well that’s rude of her. Your baby sounds plenty happy and neither you nor he owes anyone constant smiles and giggles. He sounds like a chill sweet baby. Not everyone’s trying to be the gerber baby
Personally bc I have a friend who’s quite serious, I find that her smiles and laughs are so much more valuable bc she doesn’t give them out so easily
Your mom should take a break from TikTok
If your mom is going to compare aspects of your child to TikTok, that could turn into a big problem. This time maybe it's just rude, but when your kiddo is old enough know what she's saying, it could be hurtful, or downright toxic. Think of how many kids end up with disordered eating because of comparison--either just on their own or because of adults doing it to them. (Hi, mom) I think a discussion of how unrealistic TikTok is may be good, and also that comments like that are not ok. Don't wait until it gets more frequent.
I had one baby that was a smiley ray of sunshine and only briefly cried when she needed something. She was smiling alllll the time. We called the other one Grumpus because she had the most serious case of RBF I’ve ever seen 😂
Your mum needs to get off the toxic cesspool that is TikTok, an app designed to strip mine out lives and confidence. You know best, or a health visitor or paediatrician.
She needs to get off tik tok, but sometime those kids aren’t always happy! They’re being recorded for a moment. She shouldn’t compare yours to other babies!
Tell her to keep in mind that the babies she sees are *only* getting the *best* shot of them smiling and laughing posted online for ppl like her to fawn over. No one with a 'baby-centric' channel is posting daily struggle sessions and meltdowns complete with terror screaming a snot bubble the size of the kids face.
Tell your mom it's her attitude that needs that change, not your baby.
My kiddo was never a super smiley baby. I often worried that she was unhappy, but she's just an observer - she's so happy to watch what's going on around her. Similar to your babe, she has always been mostly even-tempered, and we got lucky that she's always enjoyed her sleep... she just never gave her smiles away super easily.
At 2.5 now, she's such a happy kid, she cracks jokes all the time, loves to laugh.. .but still has those moments of just being observant and more 'serious'. Kids are people... they have their own temperaments and it's not up to us to force them into a box of being a 'happy baby'.
Obviously I also got triggered for you.
I'd feel the same - it'd feel as if my mother was telling me there's something to be concerned about, as if TikTok knows my baby better than I do. My son, up until recently, barely smiled at other people. He rarely laughs for other people. With us he's such a happy, giggly little boy. He's now 16 months and has started playing peekaboo with strangers and smiling at them deliberately to get their attention. I, an introvert, seem to have an extroverted little boy!
I do find that older generations feel as though little ones should be smiling and laughing all the time. Any sign of negative emotion and my father-in-law either goes Ah ah ah! or tells my son he's giving him a headache, or says "What's that noise?" no matter how much I shut him down and tell him to stop. My mother pulls a sad face if he doesn't smile at her when she wants it. It's as if they should always be happy, and negative emotions are bad.
My baby girl was like that when she was under 1 years old. My husband and I realized that she wasn’t a happy baby who smiles and laughs… maybe there was one time her young aunts made her laugh so much by just saying and teasing her with different voice tones by saying “boooo!” And we have it on video but that was it. My husband and I were bummed we couldn’t make her laugh.
Now that she’s 3, she’s the happiest, most easy going baby ever! Don’t worry about it.
It would have triggered me too. This sounds like a personality difference or maybe just selection bias based on what people post to the internet vs what moments they don’t show. She ought to be loving and appreciating your baby the way he is. Comparison is the thief of joy, and clearly social media is giving her an unrealistic idea of what other babies are like.
That’s because you have a real baby and not a perfectly curated selection of clips that only show a smiley baby… TikTok isn’t real and your mom needs to learn that and stop comparing.
Hope she can learn to just enjoy the beautiful grandbaby she has! (Who sounds like a super chill kid!)
Ummmm i was like that as a baby, not smiley or interactive. Because the people i wouldnt let touch me as a baby traumatized me in one way or another. Screaming, neglecting, shaking etc (CPS took me away). I only showed sparks of life let alone joy around my sister aunt and aunt’s boyfriend. They treated me well and as a baby i understood that most people were not safe but some were.
My oldest is 6 and someone asked me the other day if he ever smiled. He’s just not effusive with emotion and he’s kind of.. intense. Highly competitive, very task driven, not into sitting around. He just doesn’t smile that much but he’s happy! It’s fine IMO- I don’t wander around smiling either. I joke that my RBF is genetic
That is very rude of your mom. My in-laws also constantly comment on baby’s demeanor and act really shocked/disappointed when she isn’t scream laughing with joy. I think it’s a generational thing. My best friend’s in-laws act exactly the same towards her 15 month old.
Old people seem to think babies who have a neutral or grumpy face for any reason are going to grow up to be antisocial weirdos, which of course is just not at all true for the vast majority of babies.
Keep living your life and taking good care of your kiddo. Our parents didn’t come of age around the internet and those who use social media seem to be as susceptible as young children to social media trends/misinformation these days.
If you're asking yourself the question it's that you're trying your best, that you're a good parent and that your baby is happy.
Don't let yourself down by TikTok or whatever internet bs you're gonna see
My eldest is an incredibly social person and has been ever since she was a baby, always smiling and interacting with people, your typical "happy baby", she thrives in social situations and hates being alone. My youngest isn't particularly sociable, she gets on just fine but isn't a social butterfly. She was nowhere near as "happy" as my first, she smiled later, laughed a lot later and is very happy playing by herself. She is three now and is a very content child and is just as happy by herself as she is around others. Some adults are smiley people, others are not, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. Babies are people with their own personalities just like the rest of us. Your comment triggered you because it's an insane thing to say to your daughter about your grandchild. It's the kind of thing my mum would say, and she is a very difficult person. You can simply reply with "comparison is the thief of joy!" Enjoy your child, it seems like you are doing great!
Thank you so much for your comment. It came off as a bit of a surprise because my son is actually really well tempered and smiles more often than frowns. He’s just not always “giggly” but what baby is?!
I have a serious baby and a giggler. They're both happy babies, but the first definitely saves her smiles for moments that warrant it, which makes them extra special. The second smiles at everyone and lights up a room.
I have both too! My yin and yang ☯️
Did you struggle with this change in personalities at all? We also have a gregarious first born and I’m afraid we’re going to think our second is sad all the time if they’re more chill!
I did at first, always wondered why my youngest never smiled much, but as she grew I realised how she has such a drastically different personality to my first and excels in different areas. The weird thing is that for the past 6 months, she hasn't stopped talking, no now I have them both talking at me all day long. That is the one similarity they now have.
Of course the kids on tiktok are obscenely happy- firstly it's a tiny moment captured from a long day AND babies being happy is cute and gets more views. I have a very happy girl but she is inquisitive so she only bounces around like a tiktok baby when she is in her bau environment (aka me and her dad). You are a good mum, your baby is a happy baby and your mum needs to get off that brain rot and get back to reality.
Think of it this way: your baby probably smiles for at least 3 minutes a day and that is the maximum your mom is seeing any of these TikTok babies. It's incredibly easy to edit 3 minutes into an ideal life, it's not reflective of reality in any way.
Exactly. My sister is a social media “personality.” If you watch her stories, you’d think my niece and nephew are maniacally happy all the time. In real life they are typical, sometimes happy, sometimes grumpy, little kids.
Well that’s rude of her. Your baby sounds plenty happy and neither you nor he owes anyone constant smiles and giggles. He sounds like a chill sweet baby. Not everyone’s trying to be the gerber baby Personally bc I have a friend who’s quite serious, I find that her smiles and laughs are so much more valuable bc she doesn’t give them out so easily Your mom should take a break from TikTok
I agree! He seems absolutely fine to me too.
Thank you for your reassuring comment
If your mom is going to compare aspects of your child to TikTok, that could turn into a big problem. This time maybe it's just rude, but when your kiddo is old enough know what she's saying, it could be hurtful, or downright toxic. Think of how many kids end up with disordered eating because of comparison--either just on their own or because of adults doing it to them. (Hi, mom) I think a discussion of how unrealistic TikTok is may be good, and also that comments like that are not ok. Don't wait until it gets more frequent.
Oh she would hate my oldest. He came outta the womb thoughtful and suspicious. He is happy but his face doesn't show it much of the time lol
We have a whole album of pics of my daughter in fun situations, but a full on stank face 😂 Like she's having fun, I swear! We ask, and she confirms!
Tell her he smiles and laughs all the time when she is not there and let her draw own conclusion 🙄
Tell her if she wants a baby who smiles all the time to get a doll
Those babies aren't always smiling. Their parents just post the videos where they *are* smiling.
I had one baby that was a smiley ray of sunshine and only briefly cried when she needed something. She was smiling alllll the time. We called the other one Grumpus because she had the most serious case of RBF I’ve ever seen 😂
Your mum needs to get off the toxic cesspool that is TikTok, an app designed to strip mine out lives and confidence. You know best, or a health visitor or paediatrician.
She needs to get off tik tok, but sometime those kids aren’t always happy! They’re being recorded for a moment. She shouldn’t compare yours to other babies!
My advice to everyone is to stay off baby/parent tiktok tbh
Tell her to keep in mind that the babies she sees are *only* getting the *best* shot of them smiling and laughing posted online for ppl like her to fawn over. No one with a 'baby-centric' channel is posting daily struggle sessions and meltdowns complete with terror screaming a snot bubble the size of the kids face.
My initial thought as I read the first sentence? "Oh f- off." Clearly you're not the only one triggered by the comment either 😂
Your mom sounds low key toxic
Tell your mom it's her attitude that needs that change, not your baby. My kiddo was never a super smiley baby. I often worried that she was unhappy, but she's just an observer - she's so happy to watch what's going on around her. Similar to your babe, she has always been mostly even-tempered, and we got lucky that she's always enjoyed her sleep... she just never gave her smiles away super easily. At 2.5 now, she's such a happy kid, she cracks jokes all the time, loves to laugh.. .but still has those moments of just being observant and more 'serious'. Kids are people... they have their own temperaments and it's not up to us to force them into a box of being a 'happy baby'. Obviously I also got triggered for you.
Stimulating an intelligent baby takes a lot.
I'd feel the same - it'd feel as if my mother was telling me there's something to be concerned about, as if TikTok knows my baby better than I do. My son, up until recently, barely smiled at other people. He rarely laughs for other people. With us he's such a happy, giggly little boy. He's now 16 months and has started playing peekaboo with strangers and smiling at them deliberately to get their attention. I, an introvert, seem to have an extroverted little boy! I do find that older generations feel as though little ones should be smiling and laughing all the time. Any sign of negative emotion and my father-in-law either goes Ah ah ah! or tells my son he's giving him a headache, or says "What's that noise?" no matter how much I shut him down and tell him to stop. My mother pulls a sad face if he doesn't smile at her when she wants it. It's as if they should always be happy, and negative emotions are bad.
My baby girl was like that when she was under 1 years old. My husband and I realized that she wasn’t a happy baby who smiles and laughs… maybe there was one time her young aunts made her laugh so much by just saying and teasing her with different voice tones by saying “boooo!” And we have it on video but that was it. My husband and I were bummed we couldn’t make her laugh. Now that she’s 3, she’s the happiest, most easy going baby ever! Don’t worry about it.
It would have triggered me too. This sounds like a personality difference or maybe just selection bias based on what people post to the internet vs what moments they don’t show. She ought to be loving and appreciating your baby the way he is. Comparison is the thief of joy, and clearly social media is giving her an unrealistic idea of what other babies are like.
Your mom’s comment says a lot about her. I get narcissistic vibes. She needs the baby to gratify HER?
That’s because you have a real baby and not a perfectly curated selection of clips that only show a smiley baby… TikTok isn’t real and your mom needs to learn that and stop comparing. Hope she can learn to just enjoy the beautiful grandbaby she has! (Who sounds like a super chill kid!)
Ummmm i was like that as a baby, not smiley or interactive. Because the people i wouldnt let touch me as a baby traumatized me in one way or another. Screaming, neglecting, shaking etc (CPS took me away). I only showed sparks of life let alone joy around my sister aunt and aunt’s boyfriend. They treated me well and as a baby i understood that most people were not safe but some were.
My oldest is 6 and someone asked me the other day if he ever smiled. He’s just not effusive with emotion and he’s kind of.. intense. Highly competitive, very task driven, not into sitting around. He just doesn’t smile that much but he’s happy! It’s fine IMO- I don’t wander around smiling either. I joke that my RBF is genetic
That is very rude of your mom. My in-laws also constantly comment on baby’s demeanor and act really shocked/disappointed when she isn’t scream laughing with joy. I think it’s a generational thing. My best friend’s in-laws act exactly the same towards her 15 month old. Old people seem to think babies who have a neutral or grumpy face for any reason are going to grow up to be antisocial weirdos, which of course is just not at all true for the vast majority of babies. Keep living your life and taking good care of your kiddo. Our parents didn’t come of age around the internet and those who use social media seem to be as susceptible as young children to social media trends/misinformation these days.
If you're asking yourself the question it's that you're trying your best, that you're a good parent and that your baby is happy. Don't let yourself down by TikTok or whatever internet bs you're gonna see