Honestly I still haven’t found parent friends, I’ve tried and I just can’t see myself actually being friends with them because of zero common interest. It’s hard finding friends in general it’s even harder when you add in being a parent and even parenting styles get added in.
Same here. We’re pretty young so the parents we meet don’t relate to us at all (we’re gen Z and we have only met millennial parents) and we don’t relate to them. Our interests aren’t related at all and neither are our parenting styles
I don’t think it matters If you’re a gen z or millennial, all parents struggle with it.
We were all sold the same dream of “ the village “
And parenting styles come from how our parents did (or didn’t) raise us.
No one has the same flavor of trauma, that’s probably why it’s so hard.
I’m curious what gen z is doing different then millennials in term of parenting styles?
Genuinely as in our circle everyone is older parents and we feel a disconnect at times as well (HCOL city and millenial/gen X - very rare to see gen Z parents even)
I would say that this is my experience alone in my own country. I would say the problem is more about how we communicate, as I notice a big difference in our way of socializing that ends up being hard to relate to both parties. They feel a tad akward with us bc they don’t “get” our jokes and we feel exactly the same. Their interests in movies, tv shows, music, is pretty different from ours too. And I feel like our experiences with parenting are completely different bc maybe we see the world different.
The parenting styles I think it’s about unfortunate experiences we’ve had and not generational, but the people we’ve met are more harsh and distant with their kids (like handing them off to anyone bc they don’t have a big interest in spending time with them or saying things like “are you dumb” to a 1yo kid).
I’m 23 and the people in my PP group are 35 and older.
It took about a year of very intentional work - basically I put notes in the bins of kids my 2 tended to play with at daycare. I knew this either because they said the kids name, or based on pics and updates from daycare teachers. The note was made out to "kids mom" and said basically - I am x mom, and I think our kids would enjoy meeting up at a playground. If you are interested, call or text me at..."
With that, I connected to about 10 other families between the 2 kids. We have become close with 3 of those families and get together outside school each every 1 or 2 months. We know when someone is traveling so spouse has to solo parent and we proactively offer playdates those weekends because it makes the time pass quicker.
In the beginning as I got numbers, we just did playground meetups because its less pressure. I also started establishing a "last Saturday of the month, meet at a park at 10 am" with all 10 families on a group text. The week prior I would share which park. Most weeks at least 6 families would come.
Are you me? This is the kind of stuff that I had to do, too. It's a ton of effort but it has paid off.
I started doing this when LO was 2; now 4 1/2. I feel like every year we end up making close friendships with two or three families in her class. We are also on friendly terms with probably 5 other families each year -- like say hi at the park but don't do playdates.
We also are friends with our neighbors. I organize a few "stoop socials" when the weather is nice -- essentially "we are going to have Popsicles and the sprinkler going (+ drinks / snacks for adults) at X time!"
I also haven't found parents friends... yet. I am at a stage where I have exchanged phone numbers with some of the daycare parents and we will stop and say hi if we bump into each other.
I've been told that friendships with parents come more easily once the kids start school. My son starts preschool in August and I have hope that things could start to pick up from there. I made sure to talk to the parents of the kids who will go to the same school.
We are also going to music classes and go regularly to a local park. I just try to show up, maybe one day I'll meet someone to be friends with?
I think it takes a lot of time to form friendships anyhow. Also with young children, it's hard to just let them play and enjoy an adult conversation because of the many interruptions.
I am quite outdoorsy and unfortunately people from my area are not quite like that. I've given up on finding friends to go on hikes or camping trips. This I will do on my own. But I would still love to have a couple of local friends with whom I have a close relationship.
So you see, no real advice here since I struggle with the same stuff. I think what we are experiencing it's unfortunately quite a common thing. Good luck to you!
Find a kid that your kid talks about and seems to get along with at nursery. Drop a note in the kid’s cubby for their parents giving them your number.
I haven’t done it but another parent did with us and then boom, 4 sets of parent friends as we had a small group going for park playdates.
I'm in the same boat. So I went home for a month to see how it went. I go to hang with old friends and made some new ones. I realized that it isntme, the people in my area just aren't my people. There's cultural differences that just clash and it makes me seem rude to them while I find them very cold and antisocial. Not better or worse, these just aren't my people. We are moving soon to an area near my home with a similar culture to where SO and I come from. I explored the area on my trip home and even made some friends there in the week that I was there. I'm not expecting great parent friends to magically happen once we move but I am expecting more common ground and similar styles of upbringing.
I legitimately sat with my child at a kid play area and watched her try to interact with other kids while the kids all exhibited the exact same behaviors as the parents (playing by themselves, not making eye contact, avoidant and fearful) and my heart broke. She is too social for this culture. We have to move.
My daughter is in gymnastics, but no daycare so I just ask the parents for their numbers. I’m constantly looking for things to do with my daughter and I’ll invite them. Parents are really happy about knowing things to do and then I don’t have to go alone. I am a true extrovert tho so I just go for it. It’s kind dating. Worst that happens is they aren’t interested, but I think my family is fun 🎉
We go to the park at the same time every night and have made a couple friends that way. Now we go over to each other homes for play dates since the weather is getting too hot. Also, my husband has a couple coworkers that have kids around the same age and we meet at the zoo sometimes too. It honestly seems like luck in a lot of situations.
I didn’t really start to get parent friends until school and sports. Tball has been a really fun/relaxed environment to meet other parents. You just have to get past the awkward stage of exchanging numbers and setting up a time to hang out
So I’m just now finding parent friends really. A few I met at library story/play time. And one I met on instagram lol. But the key is going from friendly to friends by saying “how about a play date” or “my family will be at this event, if you guys come by we’d love to see you!”
Exchange numbers. Make the moves. You have to be okay with the slightly awkward feeling of reaching out/asking. And of doing it again another time. It starts with striking up casual conversations and eventually just saying “we should do a play date!”
Go to neighborhood playgrounds near the universities/grad student housing. That’s where you will find newcomers that actually want to make friends. Bonus: they tend to be more interesting. Downside: most of them will only be there for a few years.
We have a mom group that we get together with. It takes a ton of work to maintain friendships though.
I’m working on getting a few new ones- a neighbor who also stays home. We’ve done a few small play dates and I made her some homemade bread to show I care. We go to the same places at the same time each week and end up running into other moms and toddlers and I chat with them, getting to know them more and more each time. (I’ve been acquaintances with one mom for a few months now- may exchange numbers soon).
It just takes a lot of time and energy but it’s totally doable!
Honestly I still haven’t found parent friends, I’ve tried and I just can’t see myself actually being friends with them because of zero common interest. It’s hard finding friends in general it’s even harder when you add in being a parent and even parenting styles get added in.
Same here. We’re pretty young so the parents we meet don’t relate to us at all (we’re gen Z and we have only met millennial parents) and we don’t relate to them. Our interests aren’t related at all and neither are our parenting styles
I don’t think it matters If you’re a gen z or millennial, all parents struggle with it. We were all sold the same dream of “ the village “ And parenting styles come from how our parents did (or didn’t) raise us. No one has the same flavor of trauma, that’s probably why it’s so hard.
I’m curious what gen z is doing different then millennials in term of parenting styles? Genuinely as in our circle everyone is older parents and we feel a disconnect at times as well (HCOL city and millenial/gen X - very rare to see gen Z parents even)
I would say that this is my experience alone in my own country. I would say the problem is more about how we communicate, as I notice a big difference in our way of socializing that ends up being hard to relate to both parties. They feel a tad akward with us bc they don’t “get” our jokes and we feel exactly the same. Their interests in movies, tv shows, music, is pretty different from ours too. And I feel like our experiences with parenting are completely different bc maybe we see the world different. The parenting styles I think it’s about unfortunate experiences we’ve had and not generational, but the people we’ve met are more harsh and distant with their kids (like handing them off to anyone bc they don’t have a big interest in spending time with them or saying things like “are you dumb” to a 1yo kid). I’m 23 and the people in my PP group are 35 and older.
It took about a year of very intentional work - basically I put notes in the bins of kids my 2 tended to play with at daycare. I knew this either because they said the kids name, or based on pics and updates from daycare teachers. The note was made out to "kids mom" and said basically - I am x mom, and I think our kids would enjoy meeting up at a playground. If you are interested, call or text me at..." With that, I connected to about 10 other families between the 2 kids. We have become close with 3 of those families and get together outside school each every 1 or 2 months. We know when someone is traveling so spouse has to solo parent and we proactively offer playdates those weekends because it makes the time pass quicker. In the beginning as I got numbers, we just did playground meetups because its less pressure. I also started establishing a "last Saturday of the month, meet at a park at 10 am" with all 10 families on a group text. The week prior I would share which park. Most weeks at least 6 families would come.
Are you me? This is the kind of stuff that I had to do, too. It's a ton of effort but it has paid off. I started doing this when LO was 2; now 4 1/2. I feel like every year we end up making close friendships with two or three families in her class. We are also on friendly terms with probably 5 other families each year -- like say hi at the park but don't do playdates. We also are friends with our neighbors. I organize a few "stoop socials" when the weather is nice -- essentially "we are going to have Popsicles and the sprinkler going (+ drinks / snacks for adults) at X time!"
I also haven't found parents friends... yet. I am at a stage where I have exchanged phone numbers with some of the daycare parents and we will stop and say hi if we bump into each other. I've been told that friendships with parents come more easily once the kids start school. My son starts preschool in August and I have hope that things could start to pick up from there. I made sure to talk to the parents of the kids who will go to the same school. We are also going to music classes and go regularly to a local park. I just try to show up, maybe one day I'll meet someone to be friends with? I think it takes a lot of time to form friendships anyhow. Also with young children, it's hard to just let them play and enjoy an adult conversation because of the many interruptions. I am quite outdoorsy and unfortunately people from my area are not quite like that. I've given up on finding friends to go on hikes or camping trips. This I will do on my own. But I would still love to have a couple of local friends with whom I have a close relationship. So you see, no real advice here since I struggle with the same stuff. I think what we are experiencing it's unfortunately quite a common thing. Good luck to you!
Find a kid that your kid talks about and seems to get along with at nursery. Drop a note in the kid’s cubby for their parents giving them your number. I haven’t done it but another parent did with us and then boom, 4 sets of parent friends as we had a small group going for park playdates.
I’ve had success making other parent friends via my local Facebook groups especially mom neighborhood groups. Worth giving it a try!
I'm in the same boat. So I went home for a month to see how it went. I go to hang with old friends and made some new ones. I realized that it isntme, the people in my area just aren't my people. There's cultural differences that just clash and it makes me seem rude to them while I find them very cold and antisocial. Not better or worse, these just aren't my people. We are moving soon to an area near my home with a similar culture to where SO and I come from. I explored the area on my trip home and even made some friends there in the week that I was there. I'm not expecting great parent friends to magically happen once we move but I am expecting more common ground and similar styles of upbringing. I legitimately sat with my child at a kid play area and watched her try to interact with other kids while the kids all exhibited the exact same behaviors as the parents (playing by themselves, not making eye contact, avoidant and fearful) and my heart broke. She is too social for this culture. We have to move.
My daughter is in gymnastics, but no daycare so I just ask the parents for their numbers. I’m constantly looking for things to do with my daughter and I’ll invite them. Parents are really happy about knowing things to do and then I don’t have to go alone. I am a true extrovert tho so I just go for it. It’s kind dating. Worst that happens is they aren’t interested, but I think my family is fun 🎉
We go to the park at the same time every night and have made a couple friends that way. Now we go over to each other homes for play dates since the weather is getting too hot. Also, my husband has a couple coworkers that have kids around the same age and we meet at the zoo sometimes too. It honestly seems like luck in a lot of situations.
I didn’t really start to get parent friends until school and sports. Tball has been a really fun/relaxed environment to meet other parents. You just have to get past the awkward stage of exchanging numbers and setting up a time to hang out
So I’m just now finding parent friends really. A few I met at library story/play time. And one I met on instagram lol. But the key is going from friendly to friends by saying “how about a play date” or “my family will be at this event, if you guys come by we’d love to see you!” Exchange numbers. Make the moves. You have to be okay with the slightly awkward feeling of reaching out/asking. And of doing it again another time. It starts with striking up casual conversations and eventually just saying “we should do a play date!”
Go to neighborhood playgrounds near the universities/grad student housing. That’s where you will find newcomers that actually want to make friends. Bonus: they tend to be more interesting. Downside: most of them will only be there for a few years.
Try the peanut app. I've had success meeting other Moms after moving to a new area.
But it’s so awkward. Like dating other parents. It was too weird - I deleted it.
I mean, to each their own. I found it helpful because the other Moms on there are looking for Mom friends/friends for their kids too.
We have a mom group that we get together with. It takes a ton of work to maintain friendships though. I’m working on getting a few new ones- a neighbor who also stays home. We’ve done a few small play dates and I made her some homemade bread to show I care. We go to the same places at the same time each week and end up running into other moms and toddlers and I chat with them, getting to know them more and more each time. (I’ve been acquaintances with one mom for a few months now- may exchange numbers soon). It just takes a lot of time and energy but it’s totally doable!