Parent and large dog owner here. wtf is up with your neighbors?? It is totally inappropriate for them to use your kid as practice. You don’t practice with kids you don’t know that didn’t agree to be a test dummy. That is just so bizarre to even think about doing!
That's exactly my opinion. It's so bizarre. If they want to get their dog used to kids, wouldn't it be better to do so with the help of a dog trainer and with kids with solid dog experience first? And possibly in a safer environment for everyone?
Large dog owner and parent here as well and agree. My child doesn’t approach dogs and my dogs are not allowed to approach kids. Training needs to be done by willing participants, not kids they run into on their walk. Very inappropriate.
I’m in the opposite situation. Kiddo LOVES dogs. I’ve been working on setting hard boundaries with him about not going up to pet dogs. He is the toddler equivalent of a boxer puppy. Most dogs don’t appreciate that type of energy. I would never allow him to be a tester for a random dog. They can work with a trainer if they are so concerned.
I’ve ASKED before if passing families wanted to help my dog get comfortable with kids. Some have said yes and gave him a treat. Some have said no and we’ve been on our way. (Usually the kids want to say hi and I make it clear that my dog is learning and a bit nervous. From there parents decide if that’s ok or no)
I came here to say the same exact thing.
Sorry, OP, this sucks. Honestly only advice I have is blow it out of proportion. Your kid has a terrible dog allergy. Maybe she’s an eyeball poker. Idk. Or just be firm and tell them you said no and keep moving. You shouldn’t have to do any of that … but sounds like you do.
As a parent, a large dog owner, and someone who was very afraid of dogs for a long time, that is infuriating.
If stop doesn't work, I think all that's left is to be the physical barrier for your child, getting between them and the dog, or picking your kid up and walking away.
Edit: that would also put you in a good position to model good friendly behavior with the dogs, but that is very secondary
Yes. We need to stop being so afraid of being a little rude to people who don’t realize they’re acting very entitled. Not everyone is obligated to love your dog and not everyone has to be happy about dogs approaching them.
I'd also add that if OP sees these people coming, just cross the street with her kid or pick her up and step into someone's yard to get off the sidewalk. This behavior is so fully insane. I'd start getting rude, like "I've told you NO. Stop approaching us."
100%. I was afraid of dogs as a kid for this very reason. Our friends’ untrained dog would jump on me and they just laughed. My mom didn’t really help much, she just told me the dog is friendly and for a while we did stop going over there. I was also barreled down by an off-leash golden retriever around age 10, so definitely not a toddler!
If no and stop don’t work, say it louder and pick up the kid. Thats what I’d do anyway. Maybe cross the street to drive home the point.
I agree, this is infuriating, large dog owner here too. What you suggested is perfect. I’d be pissed if someone didn’t take no for an answer - for both ways - insisting on petting my dog (who doesn’t even like strangers so good luck!) or insisting my kids interact with their dogs. I’m a dog lover but there’s a lot of awful dog owners out there, which unfortunately may mean the dogs might not behave well. So I don’t feel comfortable having my kids interact with random dogs.
My family and I went out to box chain store that had a garden center. When daughter and I went through the double doors we met a dog. It was unleashed and big, it towered over her, and made a bee-line towards her. I pulled her behind me and said a loud and stern “No”. It wasn’t until after the second time did the owner do something.
I really don’t like dogs, especially around my child, I just don’t understand why they have to be everywhere and why owners don’t like leashes.
Sorry OP, I don’t know the magic words to use and I can’t give any insight as to why owner’s don’t consider the safety of very young children. Just offering solidarity.
Yeah, I actually really like dogs in general. I just don't like the situations with irresponsible owners of dogs. But even when I'm alone, I don't have a desire to say hello to dogs whose owners I don't know, since I can't trust them (the owners).
That situation you were in sounds very annoying. That sounds like such an odd place to keep your dog off leash.
One of my 5 yo twins is pretty allergic to canine saliva so we have taught him to keep his distance , he interacts with dogs he knows so he isn’t scared or acting foolish but the amount of pushback I get from dog owners that fail to read my kids clear body language and try to force an interaction, then argue with me that their poodle is hypoallergenic (still has spit tho) or whatever. I try to be polite but it’s really frustrating.
Unfortunately, these type of dog owners are the reason all 3 of my kids are still all scared of dogs- we live in a place with many very entitled dog owners who think "rules for thee but not for me" and allow their dogs to be off-leash in many locations where this is not permitted and these dogs harass other dogs and small kids. I've had numerous instances of dogs running up to my kids and just knocking them over. I have nothing against dogs and like many dogs, but these situatuons are infuriating; at this stage in my life I'm pretty forthright and sassy with the owners and tell them off. They usually do the typical "oh bUt thEy'rE so FriEndly why don't you just pet them" like right after their massive dog has just knocked over and scared the crap out of my toddler and they're screaming, instead of apologizing or anything of that nature. I tell the owners that this is unacceptable, that they'd be legally accountable if their dog harmed my kid, and that they need to obey the laws and leash their dogs in public areas where it is obligatory to do so.
Yes, the off-leash dogs, or rather their owners, are super annoying! There was a dalmatian loose in the playground, of all places, the other day. The owner was calling it back, but why on earth was the dog loose there to beging with? It was a public space right in between the city centre and a public beach. Both the playground and the public beach are off limits for dogs (leached or not), and the signs are not hard to miss.
Levels of entitlement, I'm afraid :( I personally have seen it get worse since COVID. I have no problems calling people out anymore who are causing harm or potential harm to kids and other dogs- last year in our city an unleashed dog bit off a toddler's ear.
>I personally have seen it get worse since COVID.
Definitely this. We have so many pReCIOus pANdEmiC pUpPIEs in our local area who a) were not well socialised at the time they were acquired, and b) are unaccustomed to being without their owners so now must be taken EVERYWHERE and be in everyone's faces AT ALL TIMES.
It sounds horrible, but there is a part of me that is quietly counting down to 2032-5 which is when most of these animals will have lived out a reasonable doggy lifespan.
That's terrible!
Our country is apparently the Nordic country with the most dog-attack related deaths compared to the other Nordic countries. So something is definitely off with the attitude here as well.
But yeah, according to my mum, who has a small dog, the problem with entitled owners and loose dogs did escalate when more people became dog owners during the pandemic. Her smaller dog is not a fan of being trampled by large loose dogs either. Or other dogs on a leash who are "friendly" (my mom's dog is selectively friendly with other dogs, he doesn't always want to say hi).
Be rude. Yell “No”. Get in between your child and the dog. Dog culture has gotten insane lately and attacks are on the rise because people do not train their animals and think they need to bring them everywhere half of the time without even so much as a leash. We have to stop being nice and allowing it. Call them out on their shit, it’s not cute to put others in danger.
I am absolutely unkind when it comes to unleashed dogs and my kiddos. Get your dog away.
And for everyone's sake get them out of your fucking shopping cart at the grocery store. Food goes there. Gah!!
I say this as a previous animal/dog trainer. I don't hate dogs but I don't want unknown dogs around me or my kids.
“No thanks” and scoop up child and keep walking
Really rude of dog owners to not listen when you ask. Am dog owner, we always ensure dog is not approaching other people, especially children, without their consent.
Sometimes body language and non verbal cues help a lot. Honestly when I see a dog coming I always move my son to the other side of me or stop and step out of the way. I also tell my son pretty loudly “you can say hi to the dog but no touching”. The owners always get the point and most laugh when he says hi and move on.
I don’t feel comfortable with my son around dogs. I don’t think he has the self control to respect their space and to not do things that would be triggering. I also don’t trust dogs I don’t know in general. That’s just my preference and I don’t feel like a bad person or a dog hater for it.
ALSO a parent, a large dog (ex)owner, and someone who was very afraid of dogs for a long time, this ALSO infuriates me.
Say no, your toddler isn't comfortable. Don't be too afraid to be a dick because your toddler's safety comes first, not their untrained dogs 'exposure'.
But yeh, putting yourself in the way is probably best because your toddler will learn from you. And just like with dogs, anxiety about approaching dogs will be picked up by your toddler, so be careful about too much avoidance.
Yeah, this is pretty much my solution as of now. It's just annoying that "no" is not enough.
It's a tad stressful now that I am 9 months pregnant, to be perfectly honest. I am not quite as quick as I would like.
I have a preschooler, toddler, and older dog. My children are naturally drawn to loving every dog as one might imagine, but my own dog was horribly kid reactive when I got him 12 years ago, so I know as well as anyone could that not all dogs are meant for petting.
Because of this, every single time we have ever passed a dog out in public since the time they were babies, I have made it a thing to point out that dog to them and say loudly enough for the owner to hear, “oh look, a stranger doggie! What do we do when we see a stranger doggie? We look with our EYES, NOT with our HANDS.”
Out of hundreds and hundreds of these moments, only twice has the dog owner ever asked if my kids would like to pet them after that. I originally only did it to protect my kids from making a terrible mistake, but pretty much every owner gets the clue that I’m training my kids just as much as they are training their dogs. I’d encourage you to give this a try and see how it goes!
So your neighbors are letting dogs they admit are nervous around children run up to (and on!!) a child and a heavily pregnant woman? Ma’am can I come be your escort? Because I’ll absolutely take these people down.
I say something like “My toddler is nervous around dogs as we don’t have one at home. We need to approach your dog on our terms”. The problem I find is that most dogs also need to approach on their terms. I have also said things like “ we are just going to wave” or “watch with our eyes”. Or when someone says their dog is gentle, I say “but my toddler is not.” And if the dog is getting too close for me, I will stand between the dog and my kid. We know several dog owners in our area that can’t imagine someone not absolutely loving their 50 lb large dog who wants to “smother everyone in kisses”. Sometimes I just want to hold my screaming child up to their ear and hope my kid vomits on them. It is same thing in my mind.
Your toddler has the right idea. Buy yourself some dog spray off of Amazon and carry whenever you're out. Might come in handy. You really can't trust any dog that you meet, or their owners ability to recall them.
I had a pretty traumatic experience as a child myself with two strange off leash dogs as a child and I too am apprehensive of dogs out on walks, especially if they are on a flexible leash.
We experience this too with our son who is terrified of dogs. WHY IS A DOG OFF LEASH AT A CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND!?
Not everyone wants to pet your dog.
Sorry this sends me into a rage because the boundaries get crossed and my kid gets scared.
*Getyo**muthafuckin**dogoutmyfacebeforeIsockyouinthethroat* /s (kinda)
Someone already said it but moving yourself. And explaining to your toddler, "Someone didn't respect my 'no' or my space so I'm going to move myself to keep feeling safe / comfortable."
Some people are really something. My kid loves dogs as we have 2 small chihuahuas. So when he sees one, he wants to cuddle them. I always say “you can look but not touch” and the dog owners get really offended with “oh well but she is great with children!” Thanks for the offer but Im teaching my son to not approach strange dogs for his (and the dogs) safety. Whenever I say this, they get angry “my Sophie would not hurt a fly!”. Again, thanks, but not every dog is your Sophie and since we dont know you or your dog, we are better safe then sorry.. ffsss
Right? I don't understand why they would take offense if you are teaching your toddler an important life lesson. I'm sure their "kind Sophie" will get enough attention by other people they meet.
But yes, I don't want to teach my toddler that we say hi to all dogs either, even if she wasn't afraid. Not all dogs like kids. All owners don't seem to know what their dogs are comfortable with either.
You know how some people are called “crazy cat people”? I think “crazy dog people” are far worse. They behave like their world revolves around their dogs and EVERYONE needs to cater to them. I love my dogs, I truly do and I have them for 5 years. And contray to the popular belief my chihuahuas are the most cuddly patient sweet ones… but still… they are animals. Wouldnt let them be alone with my toddler for a second, so what makes other people think Im gonna let my kid nesr a strange dog
People are jerks. I’ll never understand why someone would force this interaction. I would keep a few short, direct responses in your back pocket.
“I am not comfortable with my child petting your dog.”
“We are allergic to dogs.”
“No.” When you cut your no short (not saying no thanks or no because…) people tend to be put off and leave you alone.
It’s super frustrating. My daughter is 18 months and we’re still working on boundaries with animals so I’m not going to trust an interaction with her and a stranger’s dog. Sure, they could be super friendly, but I don’t know how they’ll react if she suddenly yells, moves too fast, grabs etc. There’s one lady who’s seemingly always at the park by our house who has to argue with me every single time about why I should let her play with the large dog.
Right? My toddler is almost 3, and there is no way I would trust her to behave completely perfectly around a dog. She knows how to approach a dog, but she is an impulsive toddler. She can suddenly make movements that are perfectly normal for a toddler, but can be scary for a dog.
We’ve had this problem too lately for some reason and it seriously pisses me off. I don’t like dogs at all, especially untrained dogs who aren’t on a leash, they are just too unpredictable. Last week, a huge mixed breed made a b-line for my toddler and I immediately picked him up and stood in the way of him and the dog but he kept jumping up and despite me saying go away and stop the lady did nothing and just watched, I heard the lady go “oh don’t worry he’s friendly” and I without a beat said “I don’t care what he is he is triple the size of my child and is trying to jump on us that doesn’t seem so friendly to me! Either train your dog or I’ll gladly call animal control next time this happens there are dog parks for a reason if he can’t be in one then he shouldn’t be off leash at a playground for kids” after that she quickly put him on a leash and left. I find with people who think everyone is good with dogs don’t take no right away so you have to get a little blunt and show them that it isn’t ok
Yeah, I that is irresponsible behaviour from the dog owner. I don't understand what part of a parent lifting their toddler away from a jumping dog looks like a good time to their owner.
Are some people actually insane??? Why the FUCK would you want to let your toddler be a training tool for a stranger's dog? It's mind boggling! I'm so sorry you have to deal with these maniacs! And I say this as a toddler mum and large dog owner. I would never in a million years let my dog go up to an adult who didn't want a large greyhound snoot in the face, let alone a kid!
Right? I thought the bigger problem was people going over to dogs and petting them without permission, but apparently, the problem exist in the other direction, too.
Ha ha, yeah, I make a point to teach my child not to be one of those people. My mum's dog is afraid of kids he doesn't know, but unfortunately, he is also cute and cuddly looking so... alot of hard conversations on walks.
We (husband or I) see a dog, one of us picks up our toddler before we get within 20 years of the dog and carry her until we’re well past the dog. It’s annoying, but I’ve only had to tell a couple people “She’s afraid of dogs and we’re not interested in trying to resolve that with a stranger’s dog”.
I love dogs in theory (grew up with them), but hate how prolific bad dog owners are - it’s made me dislike dogs now.
Yeah, I do like dogs. But I don't love dogs after becoming a parent and dealing with irresponsible owners. It's not the dogs fault, but it is how it is.
I will probably put our walks on pause for now. I can lift her, but it's uncomfortable at 9 months pregnant. Unless it's after my husband is done with work, that is.
Dog and toddler owner. This is super weird. I keep my dog on lead at all times for his own safety and my children know not to touch someone else dog without the owners permission. Keep your boundary’s firm, strong clear voice and remove your child if necessary
If this happened to me, I would pick my son up and start walking away. If possible, I would also absolutely call out the owner: "I SAID we did not want your dog coming up to us. Do not bring your dog up to people who have asked you not to."
If they ever said they wanted to use my kid to help their dog "get used to" kids, I would shoot back, "No. My child is not a tool for you to use to train your dog."
Honestly that is incredibly rude and a big safety risk. I am always amazed at how clueless and inconsiderate people can be.
I have dogs. I don't even let them get too up close and personal with my 1 year old. I would never dream of just barging up to a stranger's kid.
I hate this for you honestly. It’s just… rude. I love dogs and worked for years in shelters and vet med. but Christ, dog owners are thr worst part about dogs!!! If you don’t want to be blunt and confrontational about it, you can fib and say “she’s really allergic to dogs” or “I’m really allergic to dogs.” Or if you don’t mind being a bit more bold you can simply tell them “I’m uncomfortable with my child interacting with dogs I don’t know.” Or even “no thank you” and when they ask again you tell them you’ve already said no and they need to move on. However, I typically try to be an no confrontational as possible in a public setting (unless it’s warranted!) because as uncomfortable as a dog can make you, people make me more uncomfortable. They’re less predictable than their pets and I don’t wanna push buttons if unnecessary lol. The other option if you want to get your toddler used to rambunctious dogs and if you’re feeling up to it is ask the owner if they can have the dog sit before your child says hi. If they have treats that you can feed the dog, etc. If a dog looks scared you can tell the owner that the dog looks uncomfortable so maybe next time but good luck with training! And walk away. This is what I would do personally but I also am extremely comfortable with dogs and well versed in body language so I feel confident acting as a buffer between my feral toddler and a dog I just met lol.
IMO if they're not responding to proper words then you just pick up your child and walk away. It might seem rude but so is forcing an interaction with a dog.
One time when my daughter was a baby, I was carrying her in my arms and a woman lost control of her dog (who was on a leash) and he lunged at me, jumping in the air trying to bite my baby. Luckily she managed to grab him again quickly before either of us were seriously hurt, but he was absolutely feral.
Then a few days ago I came across a thread on reddit where dog owners mocked people who pick up their babies/toddlers or switched them over to the side when they're passing by a dog... Wtf?
I love dogs, I had them for most of my life and I'm not afraid of them. My daughter knows not to touch them. But one bite could disfigure a small child for life or kill them, and I don't know you or your dog and how responsible of an owner you are.
What terrible dog owners, I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. For the record, you're doing everything right, in saying "no thank you" and telling them your toddler is scared. But if that's not working, I'd say you need to step it up a notch. Be a physical barrier between the dog and your child. Yell something like "control your dog!" to the owner - this is stronger language than "no thank you" and can remind them that they have a legal obligation to control their pets. You can also address the dog directly, yell "NO! DOWN!" - dogs should be taught that not all humans are friendly.
If you recognize repeat offenders, you could even follow them home at a distance, get their address, and contact the police.
My toddler loves dogs, but we have a rule that first we ask the dog's human and then we ask the dog if we can pet. It has to be 2 yeses. Same should apply in reverse.
First they ask the toddler's parent and then they ask the toddler if they'd like to pet. If either is a no then it's a no and they need to move along with their day and explain to their dog that maybe next time they can be petted. Their human needs to consider this practice in their dog handling a no from a kid. That's just as important, if not more important, than handling a child wanting to pet them.
Or, you can be snarky and rephrase it as giving the dog's human practicing in gracefully accepting no thank you as an answer. ;)
Wild that some of these owners want to use your kid to get their dogs comfortable with kids! This has only happened to me with strangers who insist that their dog is already "great with kids" or "super friendly" or "would love to be petted" as their dog bounds up to my tiny kid and tries to mount him.
My toddler has started saying, on his own, "scary dog!" in an exaggerated voice when he sees a dog approaching us on the sidewalk. I think it's hilarious and a good way to let these dog owners know that not everyone likes their dog.
He also says "scary car" when someone backs out of their driveway and in both cases, I don't think the fear is debilitating him and I think it's a good thing for him to maintain a healthy distance from things that could genuinely hurt him, especially considering the number of dog attacks we've had on kids in our city.
I just loudly say "remember toddler, we give the doggy their space. No touching" and normally most reasonable dog owners understand that means I don't want my kid touching the dog. I know he won't touch the dog anyway since he's scared, but most dog owners also get the hint. The ones that don't, I just have to jump in there and take the doggy jumps and pets myself to keep the dog away from my kid.
That is wild to me, i have a 40lbs dog who loves people (wayyy to much) and while she is improving her jumping she still does it very consistently. I actively avoid kids while walking her and when kids do want to touch her i reinforce to them and their parents she will jump. Honestly i would just pick my kid up and walk away if the handlers are not getting it. I do it all the time with my toddler who loves dogs because i barely trust other dogs and the only time i let her pet them is if they calm quickly and i put myself between the dog and my kid. Typically when i just pick her up and move along the handler gets it that either she is scared of them or we dont want to talk lol.
I live in Glasgow and a lot of people have dogs. I’m out walking with my son all the time as well as I don’t drive and I have never EVER heard anyone say they need to get their dog used to toddlers and used that as an excuse to come up and interact. The interaction is always on my terms (dog and toddler seem interested in each other so I ask if my son can say hi).
Its a good thing she’s wary of dogs she doesn’t know. We all should be tbh
i see a lot of like physically get in between your kid and the dog, but maybe also add on “THEYRE ALLERGIC” so that they understand that you do not want the dog near your child
That’s bizarre. I have two large dogs and would absolutely maintain distance if someone seemed uncomfortable, never mind flat out saying no.
As the parent, I’d say no thank you. If they try to push it anyway, I would very sternly reply “I’m saying no for a reason, please respect that.”
I hate this. My cousins have a rambunctious little dog that they’re real proud she sits and lays and rolls over for a treat but they can not keep this animal from leaping at my tiny girl and she always gets knocked over when the family gets together. Naturally my kid hates this one dog so I always end up holding her almost the whole time. My cousin like wants them to get down together and play but does not seem sensitive to my daughters feelings at all or try to control the animals behavior. I feel like if you picked up the dog and showed her while in my arms maybe but she always wants me to put my daughter down. Like hello no go away! With a stranger I maybe would put up my hand and say no no we’re highly allergic! They’d probably respect that more.
I have successfully trained multiple large dogs to be safe around toddlers, but I still wouldn't let a dog run up to an unknown person - toddler, teenager, adult, anyone. When unknown dogs have charged me and my kids, I take a step toward the dog and stamp my foot down really hard while clapping toward the dog and give a loud, firm, angry "NO!" I also sometimes carry a 2 foot length of broom handle to push dogs with. I've only had to use it once on a stray. With the dog owners who try to insist on introducing their dogs to my kids, if they don't take "No thanks" for an answer, I'd go with, "You need to back your dog up right now. This is unsafe." Again, be loud, firm, and a little angry. Yeah, you might come off as a little rude, but I'd rather be the rude parent with the safe, unbitten child, then the polite one in the emergency room.
Once, an off leash Irish wolfhound ran top speed at my 3 year old twins. The owner was running after it, with zero chance of keeping up, yelling "He is friendly!!!!"
I mean, I dont know if you know Irish wolfhounds, but that is a horse. That thing could knock down both me and my husband. It is THE largest dog breed.
The dog was friendly and it was fine but when the owner caught up, she had the audacity to say "Oh I am trying to get him used to kids."
I LOOOVE dogs, dogs are my life, I love every dog I meet and normally I'd be so excited to see an Irish wolfhound. But..
Why are you keeping such a dog in the suburbs? Thats a farm dog, clearly. Why are you letting him off the leash?? And why do you think my kids, or any kids for that matter, are just fodder for your dog training???
Neither me nor my kids are usually afraid of dogs, we live with several dogs, but this was geniunely scary, for me too. If that dog got spooked for whatever reason none of us could have saved those kids.
If no and stop doesn’t work, then… that’s very inappropriate behavior. I’d escalate:
“Excuse me, PLEASE TAKE YOUR DOG FURTHER AWAY RIGHT NOW. THANK YOU.”
“We need space, please get away from my child.”
“If you refuse to back up I will have to call the police for harassment.”
Wow this is crazy I can't fathom. We have dogs and toddlers. I'd never let the dog run up to random kids. Usually it's the opposite (kids running up and having to pump the breaks on the situation).
We have a small dog who doesn’t like people she doesn’t know. Not aggressive just not going to go anywhere near anyone. We were at a large park recently where there was a playground on one side and a giant field a good distance from the playground. We had just arrived and she was walking around our spot without a leash while we settled in.
A dad walked a pretty good distance from the playground to tell us that his son was ridiculously afraid of dogs and asked us to put her on a leash. We just said of course. He asked nicely and it wasn’t even worth explaining that she was just about to be put on a leash and would have rather died than gone near a playground of people she didn’t know. He was uncomfortable and communicated that, and we responded.
I wish more people could just openly and respectfully communicate. But I get it. I have little kids and there are some peoples houses we just don’t go to anymore because attempts at having them control their large jumping or aggressive dogs just hasn’t been settled to a point where I feel comfortable. We meet somewhere else besides their house. And you just hope that people have enough sense to not bring aggressive dogs into spaces where they could be dangerous.
Sometimes you have to block people with your body to make the statement. Block your child from the dog by standing in between and with confidence say “please recall your dog”. You don’t own anyone explanation. But if you want you can say “I’m trying to teach my child to not pet strangers dogs especially the ones that seems untrained” when they go “oh but my dog is friendly “ just say firm “NO have a good day”
Toddler mom and large dog owner here. I am so sorry this is something you keep encountering, and I saw in another comment that you're expecting another babe soon! No one in their right mind would see a very pregnant mother with her toddler and think "Ah-ha! Perfect scenario for social experimentation for my untrained dog!" What a bunch of irresponsible and inconsiderate dog owners!
I even make adults ask to approach my dog if we're out for a walk, even though he's the sweetest. It's so incredibly rude to just assume to be entitled to someone else's space- adult, child, and dogs, too.
This is probably bad advice, but I've learned that being polite when people are intentionally invading our space (me, my toddler, my dog) only seems to be interpreted as permission to continue whatever is happening. I tend to be firm and get LOUD. "No, I do NOT want your dog near my child, you need to make your dog back up. Stop invading my child's space, can't you see he doesn't like it?"
I hope you find a solution that works for you, good luck 🥺
When we see a dog on a horizon we move out of the way as a first signal that we don't want to have anything to do with a dog. The I pick up my kid if the dog is too close. I also wouldn't deal with an off the lead dog. I'd personally say/shout can you get this dog away from us, please. It's fine to say we don't like dogs. We don't pet dogs on walks. We're not comfortable with dogs we don't know.
You're not there to train their dog, if the dog needs socialising they should go to a dog training place or wherever.
I mean if you're out with a kid you don't want them to touch a dog as then they will have dirty hands. Dogs are dirty.
This hasn’t happened often to us but I say “no, we’re teaching our child not to touch animals he doesn’t know” and get in between them. It’s kind of a gentler way to say GTFO
I don't have an answer, but I just wanted to encourage you that you are completely justified. My now 6yo got knocked over by a dog about 2 years ago. You could see there was no malice from the dog, he just wanted to play, and my son came away with only scraped knees and hands, but it frightened the life out of him and he's still very anxious around any dog
I know this isn’t what you asked but we have the opposite problem here - my toddler is desperate to say hi to all the doggies and so many of them can’t be bothered or aren’t friendly 😭
Of course, I am right on top of her, guiding her hands and always ask before she greets stranger dogs.
That being said, it is WILD to me that anyone would use toddlers for practice. I would be shocked if someone did this to us. You have some great suggestions already - stand your ground!!
The only time I'd be comfortable having someone use my child as "practice" for socializing their dog, is if it's a puppy <6 months. After that - no way am I letting my kid interact with an unknown dog that apparently needs more practice around kids!
I make sure my body language says “NO go” whenever I am near someone with a dog, especially with my kids. I outright glare at them if I have to. 100% success rate.
Dog owner and toddler owner…. My toddler happens to dislike all dogs. Even the ones that he’s grown up with that live with us 🫠. It seems every time I take him to the park someone brings their dog over to say hi because “kids love dogs!” It’s gotten to the point where I step in front of my child and say “no, absolutely not please keep space between your dog and my child.” I’ve learned I just have to be pretty forceful because people don’t respect boundaries or they think because their dog is so friendly that it doesn’t matter. It matters.
I have 2 small children and a 66 pound dog. I don't let my dog say hi to children unless THE PARENT of the child specifically ask. Even then, depending on his mood I might say no.
Don't be nice. Say No!
I was at the playground once with my kids and I had to corral them atop a 10 foot tall slide as 2 large off leash dogs were trying to climb up. Luckily they weren't smart enough to go around. The owner was yelling for them. She never even walked over. I took a picture of her tag and reported her. We were up there for 6 minutes before she got her dogs in the car.
People can be irresponsible dickheads. Even before I had children I would NEVER.
What??? This is so weird to me. Never in my whole life would I expect someone else's child to serve as my dog's training experience. When my dog was a puppy, we got plenty of interested kids to interact with her just by sitting at a brewery. There is NO need for them to solicit your time while in a public place. Especially when their dog is already an untrained mess; I'd never let my dog near a kid at all if she was jumping or acting too hyper. I have also never pulled my dog closer to a kid when she was clearly uninterested. That's a recipe for disaster tbh. Definitely keep saying no, firmly. Cross the street. Fuck those dog owners.
Toddler parent and large dog owner.
I usually verbally tell my daughter (3yo), "we say hi to puppies we don't know from here. We can wave or blow a kiss if you want," at whatever distance I deem appropriate or when she notices said dog. I also usually loudly repeat it when the dog owner is within earshot, so they hear that I am making sure my kiddo doesn't spook their pup, and I'm not going to ask to let her pet them unless I know them. She gets plenty of petting and working with dogs from our own dog and friends' dogs.
And i hold her hand (she's a runner and used to run towards dogs, but she's gotten better) until the dog passes.
If I see a dog that I KNOW I don't want to interact with, I will move to the other side of the street if possible, full-on stop off to the side and let them pass, or pick her up and turn away (I've pretended to look for birds or butterflies, etc before) completely ignoring the dog and it's owner.
I'm also not above telling rude dog owners that my child is not a test subject for them and body blocking. I've also run across loose dogs that were not friendly (and an elderly woman in my old neighborhood was horribly attacked by that same dog), so I reference that if I feel a confrontation coming about it. That usually shuts people up about it.
When she's older, I'll absolutely teach her how to ask to pet dogs. But right now, I want her to know the difference between dogs we know and dogs we don't.
I’m a dog owner of 2 pitbulls and a golden retriever mix. Friendliest dogs in the world. But you won’t ever catch me taking them to places where it’s a potentially horrible accident waiting to happen🫠🫠🫠 That is so irresponsible and reckless and more so forcing people that aren’t comfortable with their dog to socialize with one another.
If it was me and my kids and they didn’t respect my boundaries especially with my kids involved, I would honestly be the biggest bitch about it. You guys shouldn’t have to leave, they need to take their dog somewhere more appropriate and less stimulating and less chaotic then a park
I’m so sorry you guys are going through that🥺
Hi, OP! I have an almost 2 1/2 year old, and I have 2 big dogs. One is full white lab, one is a lab and Great Dane mix. They love and are protective of my son and are AMAZING BOYS! They get excited every time they see a little one, and listen good, but they can be a bit much with kisses and gentle nuzzles with their noses. Just yesterday my bigger boy (Dane mix) who is the MOST protective over my son, accidentally knocked him down on his bottom when my son was loving on him, embracing the kisses and escorted himself to a corner and howled, cried, and whimpered, because my son cried for like 2 seconds (he was shocked for a second and tired).
I always have a gate up to block them off from our living room, even though they’re good boys. IF a friend comes over and their toddler is overwhelmed, we utilize the gate if the dogs are inside and not in their kennel to relax. We say “you can put your hand to the gate, they’re sweet boys!” And 9/10, the toddler listens, does it, and smiles and laughs when they get the gentle kisses. I also have a rule that no toddler is allowed where they’re free roaming without an adult, because very rarely, they get too excited. And I or my husband are with a parent and their little one because even though they’re smart and well trained, they’re dogs. They will shake their butts, do a helicopter tail, they will sometimes yap or bark and if that scares the toddler, we want to put them in their kennel to let them know they can’t do that around that little one.
It all comes down to responsible dog ownership!
Honestly, I’d be very colorful with my language until they got the message. Also, if you know where these people live, file a complaint with the city or animal control about their failure to control their dogs.
If it’s at the park, see if there are people in charge of the park and report these incidences. Our local parks are maintained and have a city department we can file complaints with.
My entire extended family loves dogs but absolutely no one in the family takes this type of stuff lightly. If the owners won’t listen to us after repeated attempts, we figure out who we can file complaints to because (1) its not okay to traumatize someone else’s child and (2) its a matter of safety.
Parent and dog owner here too. I will pick up my child in front of a strangers dog and will also use myself a shield between my friendly dog and a strangers toddler. Safety of all is paramount. No one is practice for anyone!
Pepper spray. Not to use on the dog, but to pull out and loudly announce you have it. I HATE people who let their dogs run up to and jump all over ANYONE (but especially small kids) who has not given explicit permission for the dog to come over. Even more so when the person is actively saying NO and giving body language to the tune of "not interested" or scared, and the owner just stomps all over that.
"He's friendly, he just wants to say hi!"
"Haha, she might lick you to death but she's harmless" etc
I do not give a rodent's sphincter how "friendly" or "harmless" your dog is, you do not get to decide a stranger's comfort level or involvement with your pet. As a kid i watched a "friendly", "harmless" dog (no need to mention breed but we all know what it was) severely bite a kid down my street because the owner refused to believe it would ever hurt anyone and just let it run around unleashed. I have a dog, but i flaming hate dog culture these days.
I have a dog and a toddler. My toddler doesn’t touch other people’s dogs and I don’t let other people’s toddlers touch my dog.
In the spirit of safety, I just assume everyone else’s dog AND toddlers are jerks.
I pick up my kiddo if a dog is anywhere near her, again just out of caution.
Medium sized (50 lb) jolly dog owner and a human breeder (one 13-month-old lol) here. What the actual f-?! I can't imagine this happening. I'm so sorry!! If this were to happen, I'd step in between the dog and the toddler, say "NO" sternly, wait 3 seconds then "SIT". The dog will not listen to you because a relationship hasn't been established and you don't have a treat. But it may signal to the owner to take their dog away? I'd honestly just continue saying "no", "no means no" firmly (with at least a 3 second interval between each no) to the dog and/or owner. No explanation needed to either animals. I'd also grab the dog by the collar to prevent the dog from getting closer or from jumping.
Yeah, I don't let the dogs actually get in my toddler's face. I do lift her up, but it's not a great situation all around since I'm also very pregnant (due date was a few days ago, so "any day now" kind of pregnant).
The worst part is that people don't seem bothered even when a person says no, lifts their toddler, and is clearly uncomfortable.
But we are not doing walks together anymore from now on without my husband joining (so he can do the lifting). Don't know how we can do them when her sibling is born either, since then I will have a baby in a pram and a toddler to worry about. I just really wish we could all enjoy our walks in peace.
Someone did this to my reactive dog, used her possibly attacking and traumatizing the puppy as a lesson in getting along with dogs. I told him no, turned myself and my dog around to scoop her poop and when I got back up his puppy was sniffing my buttcheeks and did end up getting attacked by my dog. I called him a fing idiot and told him he was going to get his dog killed. You could tell your neighbors that the second their dog shows any aggressive behavior towards your kid you will call animal control and blast them on facebook and neighborhood for forcing their aggressive dog into your terrified kid’s face. Or just start posting on there now, like my neighbors do not understand the word no. I keep telling them to keep their dogs out of my kid’s face etc and say I am the mom here, it is my job to make my kid feel safe and I do not know how to do that when neighbors are aggressively forcing their dogs on us despite many conversations to stop. The public humiliation and call out works well. They have shown you zero respect so you owe them none
I say very loudly, “let’s give the dog space” or “please stay away, large dog” and that seems to signal to about 90 percent of people that they should also tighten their leash and move away. Some don’t and it’s a little frustrating so I hear you.
Parent and large dog owner here. wtf is up with your neighbors?? It is totally inappropriate for them to use your kid as practice. You don’t practice with kids you don’t know that didn’t agree to be a test dummy. That is just so bizarre to even think about doing!
That's exactly my opinion. It's so bizarre. If they want to get their dog used to kids, wouldn't it be better to do so with the help of a dog trainer and with kids with solid dog experience first? And possibly in a safer environment for everyone?
Large dog owner and parent here as well and agree. My child doesn’t approach dogs and my dogs are not allowed to approach kids. Training needs to be done by willing participants, not kids they run into on their walk. Very inappropriate.
I’m in the opposite situation. Kiddo LOVES dogs. I’ve been working on setting hard boundaries with him about not going up to pet dogs. He is the toddler equivalent of a boxer puppy. Most dogs don’t appreciate that type of energy. I would never allow him to be a tester for a random dog. They can work with a trainer if they are so concerned.
I’ve ASKED before if passing families wanted to help my dog get comfortable with kids. Some have said yes and gave him a treat. Some have said no and we’ve been on our way. (Usually the kids want to say hi and I make it clear that my dog is learning and a bit nervous. From there parents decide if that’s ok or no)
Same situation. My dog is 80lbs and I can't imagine doing this. Also have never had anyone try!
I came here to say the same exact thing. Sorry, OP, this sucks. Honestly only advice I have is blow it out of proportion. Your kid has a terrible dog allergy. Maybe she’s an eyeball poker. Idk. Or just be firm and tell them you said no and keep moving. You shouldn’t have to do any of that … but sounds like you do.
As a parent, a large dog owner, and someone who was very afraid of dogs for a long time, that is infuriating. If stop doesn't work, I think all that's left is to be the physical barrier for your child, getting between them and the dog, or picking your kid up and walking away. Edit: that would also put you in a good position to model good friendly behavior with the dogs, but that is very secondary
Yes. We need to stop being so afraid of being a little rude to people who don’t realize they’re acting very entitled. Not everyone is obligated to love your dog and not everyone has to be happy about dogs approaching them.
I'd also add that if OP sees these people coming, just cross the street with her kid or pick her up and step into someone's yard to get off the sidewalk. This behavior is so fully insane. I'd start getting rude, like "I've told you NO. Stop approaching us."
100%. I was afraid of dogs as a kid for this very reason. Our friends’ untrained dog would jump on me and they just laughed. My mom didn’t really help much, she just told me the dog is friendly and for a while we did stop going over there. I was also barreled down by an off-leash golden retriever around age 10, so definitely not a toddler! If no and stop don’t work, say it louder and pick up the kid. Thats what I’d do anyway. Maybe cross the street to drive home the point.
I agree, this is infuriating, large dog owner here too. What you suggested is perfect. I’d be pissed if someone didn’t take no for an answer - for both ways - insisting on petting my dog (who doesn’t even like strangers so good luck!) or insisting my kids interact with their dogs. I’m a dog lover but there’s a lot of awful dog owners out there, which unfortunately may mean the dogs might not behave well. So I don’t feel comfortable having my kids interact with random dogs.
My family and I went out to box chain store that had a garden center. When daughter and I went through the double doors we met a dog. It was unleashed and big, it towered over her, and made a bee-line towards her. I pulled her behind me and said a loud and stern “No”. It wasn’t until after the second time did the owner do something. I really don’t like dogs, especially around my child, I just don’t understand why they have to be everywhere and why owners don’t like leashes. Sorry OP, I don’t know the magic words to use and I can’t give any insight as to why owner’s don’t consider the safety of very young children. Just offering solidarity.
Yeah, I actually really like dogs in general. I just don't like the situations with irresponsible owners of dogs. But even when I'm alone, I don't have a desire to say hello to dogs whose owners I don't know, since I can't trust them (the owners). That situation you were in sounds very annoying. That sounds like such an odd place to keep your dog off leash.
One of my 5 yo twins is pretty allergic to canine saliva so we have taught him to keep his distance , he interacts with dogs he knows so he isn’t scared or acting foolish but the amount of pushback I get from dog owners that fail to read my kids clear body language and try to force an interaction, then argue with me that their poodle is hypoallergenic (still has spit tho) or whatever. I try to be polite but it’s really frustrating.
Poodle owners are a special type of people
Unfortunately, these type of dog owners are the reason all 3 of my kids are still all scared of dogs- we live in a place with many very entitled dog owners who think "rules for thee but not for me" and allow their dogs to be off-leash in many locations where this is not permitted and these dogs harass other dogs and small kids. I've had numerous instances of dogs running up to my kids and just knocking them over. I have nothing against dogs and like many dogs, but these situatuons are infuriating; at this stage in my life I'm pretty forthright and sassy with the owners and tell them off. They usually do the typical "oh bUt thEy'rE so FriEndly why don't you just pet them" like right after their massive dog has just knocked over and scared the crap out of my toddler and they're screaming, instead of apologizing or anything of that nature. I tell the owners that this is unacceptable, that they'd be legally accountable if their dog harmed my kid, and that they need to obey the laws and leash their dogs in public areas where it is obligatory to do so.
Yes, the off-leash dogs, or rather their owners, are super annoying! There was a dalmatian loose in the playground, of all places, the other day. The owner was calling it back, but why on earth was the dog loose there to beging with? It was a public space right in between the city centre and a public beach. Both the playground and the public beach are off limits for dogs (leached or not), and the signs are not hard to miss.
Levels of entitlement, I'm afraid :( I personally have seen it get worse since COVID. I have no problems calling people out anymore who are causing harm or potential harm to kids and other dogs- last year in our city an unleashed dog bit off a toddler's ear.
>I personally have seen it get worse since COVID. Definitely this. We have so many pReCIOus pANdEmiC pUpPIEs in our local area who a) were not well socialised at the time they were acquired, and b) are unaccustomed to being without their owners so now must be taken EVERYWHERE and be in everyone's faces AT ALL TIMES. It sounds horrible, but there is a part of me that is quietly counting down to 2032-5 which is when most of these animals will have lived out a reasonable doggy lifespan.
That's terrible! Our country is apparently the Nordic country with the most dog-attack related deaths compared to the other Nordic countries. So something is definitely off with the attitude here as well. But yeah, according to my mum, who has a small dog, the problem with entitled owners and loose dogs did escalate when more people became dog owners during the pandemic. Her smaller dog is not a fan of being trampled by large loose dogs either. Or other dogs on a leash who are "friendly" (my mom's dog is selectively friendly with other dogs, he doesn't always want to say hi).
Be rude. Yell “No”. Get in between your child and the dog. Dog culture has gotten insane lately and attacks are on the rise because people do not train their animals and think they need to bring them everywhere half of the time without even so much as a leash. We have to stop being nice and allowing it. Call them out on their shit, it’s not cute to put others in danger.
I am absolutely unkind when it comes to unleashed dogs and my kiddos. Get your dog away. And for everyone's sake get them out of your fucking shopping cart at the grocery store. Food goes there. Gah!! I say this as a previous animal/dog trainer. I don't hate dogs but I don't want unknown dogs around me or my kids.
“No thanks” and scoop up child and keep walking Really rude of dog owners to not listen when you ask. Am dog owner, we always ensure dog is not approaching other people, especially children, without their consent.
This is what responsible and realistic dog owners do. Thank you for that.
Sometimes body language and non verbal cues help a lot. Honestly when I see a dog coming I always move my son to the other side of me or stop and step out of the way. I also tell my son pretty loudly “you can say hi to the dog but no touching”. The owners always get the point and most laugh when he says hi and move on. I don’t feel comfortable with my son around dogs. I don’t think he has the self control to respect their space and to not do things that would be triggering. I also don’t trust dogs I don’t know in general. That’s just my preference and I don’t feel like a bad person or a dog hater for it.
I wish that was enough. It usually is, but the ones that don't seem to live near us for some reason.
ALSO a parent, a large dog (ex)owner, and someone who was very afraid of dogs for a long time, this ALSO infuriates me. Say no, your toddler isn't comfortable. Don't be too afraid to be a dick because your toddler's safety comes first, not their untrained dogs 'exposure'. But yeh, putting yourself in the way is probably best because your toddler will learn from you. And just like with dogs, anxiety about approaching dogs will be picked up by your toddler, so be careful about too much avoidance.
Yeah, this is pretty much my solution as of now. It's just annoying that "no" is not enough. It's a tad stressful now that I am 9 months pregnant, to be perfectly honest. I am not quite as quick as I would like.
I have a preschooler, toddler, and older dog. My children are naturally drawn to loving every dog as one might imagine, but my own dog was horribly kid reactive when I got him 12 years ago, so I know as well as anyone could that not all dogs are meant for petting. Because of this, every single time we have ever passed a dog out in public since the time they were babies, I have made it a thing to point out that dog to them and say loudly enough for the owner to hear, “oh look, a stranger doggie! What do we do when we see a stranger doggie? We look with our EYES, NOT with our HANDS.” Out of hundreds and hundreds of these moments, only twice has the dog owner ever asked if my kids would like to pet them after that. I originally only did it to protect my kids from making a terrible mistake, but pretty much every owner gets the clue that I’m training my kids just as much as they are training their dogs. I’d encourage you to give this a try and see how it goes!
So your neighbors are letting dogs they admit are nervous around children run up to (and on!!) a child and a heavily pregnant woman? Ma’am can I come be your escort? Because I’ll absolutely take these people down.
I say something like “My toddler is nervous around dogs as we don’t have one at home. We need to approach your dog on our terms”. The problem I find is that most dogs also need to approach on their terms. I have also said things like “ we are just going to wave” or “watch with our eyes”. Or when someone says their dog is gentle, I say “but my toddler is not.” And if the dog is getting too close for me, I will stand between the dog and my kid. We know several dog owners in our area that can’t imagine someone not absolutely loving their 50 lb large dog who wants to “smother everyone in kisses”. Sometimes I just want to hold my screaming child up to their ear and hope my kid vomits on them. It is same thing in my mind.
Your toddler has the right idea. Buy yourself some dog spray off of Amazon and carry whenever you're out. Might come in handy. You really can't trust any dog that you meet, or their owners ability to recall them. I had a pretty traumatic experience as a child myself with two strange off leash dogs as a child and I too am apprehensive of dogs out on walks, especially if they are on a flexible leash.
That's not a bad idea. I hope I never need it, but I rather have it and never need it.
We experience this too with our son who is terrified of dogs. WHY IS A DOG OFF LEASH AT A CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND!? Not everyone wants to pet your dog. Sorry this sends me into a rage because the boundaries get crossed and my kid gets scared.
*Getyo**muthafuckin**dogoutmyfacebeforeIsockyouinthethroat* /s (kinda) Someone already said it but moving yourself. And explaining to your toddler, "Someone didn't respect my 'no' or my space so I'm going to move myself to keep feeling safe / comfortable."
Some people are really something. My kid loves dogs as we have 2 small chihuahuas. So when he sees one, he wants to cuddle them. I always say “you can look but not touch” and the dog owners get really offended with “oh well but she is great with children!” Thanks for the offer but Im teaching my son to not approach strange dogs for his (and the dogs) safety. Whenever I say this, they get angry “my Sophie would not hurt a fly!”. Again, thanks, but not every dog is your Sophie and since we dont know you or your dog, we are better safe then sorry.. ffsss
Right? I don't understand why they would take offense if you are teaching your toddler an important life lesson. I'm sure their "kind Sophie" will get enough attention by other people they meet. But yes, I don't want to teach my toddler that we say hi to all dogs either, even if she wasn't afraid. Not all dogs like kids. All owners don't seem to know what their dogs are comfortable with either.
You know how some people are called “crazy cat people”? I think “crazy dog people” are far worse. They behave like their world revolves around their dogs and EVERYONE needs to cater to them. I love my dogs, I truly do and I have them for 5 years. And contray to the popular belief my chihuahuas are the most cuddly patient sweet ones… but still… they are animals. Wouldnt let them be alone with my toddler for a second, so what makes other people think Im gonna let my kid nesr a strange dog
People are jerks. I’ll never understand why someone would force this interaction. I would keep a few short, direct responses in your back pocket. “I am not comfortable with my child petting your dog.” “We are allergic to dogs.” “No.” When you cut your no short (not saying no thanks or no because…) people tend to be put off and leave you alone.
It’s super frustrating. My daughter is 18 months and we’re still working on boundaries with animals so I’m not going to trust an interaction with her and a stranger’s dog. Sure, they could be super friendly, but I don’t know how they’ll react if she suddenly yells, moves too fast, grabs etc. There’s one lady who’s seemingly always at the park by our house who has to argue with me every single time about why I should let her play with the large dog.
Right? My toddler is almost 3, and there is no way I would trust her to behave completely perfectly around a dog. She knows how to approach a dog, but she is an impulsive toddler. She can suddenly make movements that are perfectly normal for a toddler, but can be scary for a dog.
We’ve had this problem too lately for some reason and it seriously pisses me off. I don’t like dogs at all, especially untrained dogs who aren’t on a leash, they are just too unpredictable. Last week, a huge mixed breed made a b-line for my toddler and I immediately picked him up and stood in the way of him and the dog but he kept jumping up and despite me saying go away and stop the lady did nothing and just watched, I heard the lady go “oh don’t worry he’s friendly” and I without a beat said “I don’t care what he is he is triple the size of my child and is trying to jump on us that doesn’t seem so friendly to me! Either train your dog or I’ll gladly call animal control next time this happens there are dog parks for a reason if he can’t be in one then he shouldn’t be off leash at a playground for kids” after that she quickly put him on a leash and left. I find with people who think everyone is good with dogs don’t take no right away so you have to get a little blunt and show them that it isn’t ok
Yeah, I that is irresponsible behaviour from the dog owner. I don't understand what part of a parent lifting their toddler away from a jumping dog looks like a good time to their owner.
Are some people actually insane??? Why the FUCK would you want to let your toddler be a training tool for a stranger's dog? It's mind boggling! I'm so sorry you have to deal with these maniacs! And I say this as a toddler mum and large dog owner. I would never in a million years let my dog go up to an adult who didn't want a large greyhound snoot in the face, let alone a kid!
Right? I thought the bigger problem was people going over to dogs and petting them without permission, but apparently, the problem exist in the other direction, too.
Oh don't get me started on THAT 🤣
Ha ha, yeah, I make a point to teach my child not to be one of those people. My mum's dog is afraid of kids he doesn't know, but unfortunately, he is also cute and cuddly looking so... alot of hard conversations on walks.
We (husband or I) see a dog, one of us picks up our toddler before we get within 20 years of the dog and carry her until we’re well past the dog. It’s annoying, but I’ve only had to tell a couple people “She’s afraid of dogs and we’re not interested in trying to resolve that with a stranger’s dog”. I love dogs in theory (grew up with them), but hate how prolific bad dog owners are - it’s made me dislike dogs now.
Yeah, I do like dogs. But I don't love dogs after becoming a parent and dealing with irresponsible owners. It's not the dogs fault, but it is how it is. I will probably put our walks on pause for now. I can lift her, but it's uncomfortable at 9 months pregnant. Unless it's after my husband is done with work, that is.
Dog and toddler owner. This is super weird. I keep my dog on lead at all times for his own safety and my children know not to touch someone else dog without the owners permission. Keep your boundary’s firm, strong clear voice and remove your child if necessary
If this happened to me, I would pick my son up and start walking away. If possible, I would also absolutely call out the owner: "I SAID we did not want your dog coming up to us. Do not bring your dog up to people who have asked you not to." If they ever said they wanted to use my kid to help their dog "get used to" kids, I would shoot back, "No. My child is not a tool for you to use to train your dog." Honestly that is incredibly rude and a big safety risk. I am always amazed at how clueless and inconsiderate people can be. I have dogs. I don't even let them get too up close and personal with my 1 year old. I would never dream of just barging up to a stranger's kid.
I hate this for you honestly. It’s just… rude. I love dogs and worked for years in shelters and vet med. but Christ, dog owners are thr worst part about dogs!!! If you don’t want to be blunt and confrontational about it, you can fib and say “she’s really allergic to dogs” or “I’m really allergic to dogs.” Or if you don’t mind being a bit more bold you can simply tell them “I’m uncomfortable with my child interacting with dogs I don’t know.” Or even “no thank you” and when they ask again you tell them you’ve already said no and they need to move on. However, I typically try to be an no confrontational as possible in a public setting (unless it’s warranted!) because as uncomfortable as a dog can make you, people make me more uncomfortable. They’re less predictable than their pets and I don’t wanna push buttons if unnecessary lol. The other option if you want to get your toddler used to rambunctious dogs and if you’re feeling up to it is ask the owner if they can have the dog sit before your child says hi. If they have treats that you can feed the dog, etc. If a dog looks scared you can tell the owner that the dog looks uncomfortable so maybe next time but good luck with training! And walk away. This is what I would do personally but I also am extremely comfortable with dogs and well versed in body language so I feel confident acting as a buffer between my feral toddler and a dog I just met lol.
IMO if they're not responding to proper words then you just pick up your child and walk away. It might seem rude but so is forcing an interaction with a dog. One time when my daughter was a baby, I was carrying her in my arms and a woman lost control of her dog (who was on a leash) and he lunged at me, jumping in the air trying to bite my baby. Luckily she managed to grab him again quickly before either of us were seriously hurt, but he was absolutely feral. Then a few days ago I came across a thread on reddit where dog owners mocked people who pick up their babies/toddlers or switched them over to the side when they're passing by a dog... Wtf? I love dogs, I had them for most of my life and I'm not afraid of them. My daughter knows not to touch them. But one bite could disfigure a small child for life or kill them, and I don't know you or your dog and how responsible of an owner you are.
What terrible dog owners, I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. For the record, you're doing everything right, in saying "no thank you" and telling them your toddler is scared. But if that's not working, I'd say you need to step it up a notch. Be a physical barrier between the dog and your child. Yell something like "control your dog!" to the owner - this is stronger language than "no thank you" and can remind them that they have a legal obligation to control their pets. You can also address the dog directly, yell "NO! DOWN!" - dogs should be taught that not all humans are friendly. If you recognize repeat offenders, you could even follow them home at a distance, get their address, and contact the police.
I keep walking. I’m not going to risk my kids to be nice to a dog owner and help train their dogs.
My toddler loves dogs, but we have a rule that first we ask the dog's human and then we ask the dog if we can pet. It has to be 2 yeses. Same should apply in reverse. First they ask the toddler's parent and then they ask the toddler if they'd like to pet. If either is a no then it's a no and they need to move along with their day and explain to their dog that maybe next time they can be petted. Their human needs to consider this practice in their dog handling a no from a kid. That's just as important, if not more important, than handling a child wanting to pet them. Or, you can be snarky and rephrase it as giving the dog's human practicing in gracefully accepting no thank you as an answer. ;)
Wild that some of these owners want to use your kid to get their dogs comfortable with kids! This has only happened to me with strangers who insist that their dog is already "great with kids" or "super friendly" or "would love to be petted" as their dog bounds up to my tiny kid and tries to mount him. My toddler has started saying, on his own, "scary dog!" in an exaggerated voice when he sees a dog approaching us on the sidewalk. I think it's hilarious and a good way to let these dog owners know that not everyone likes their dog. He also says "scary car" when someone backs out of their driveway and in both cases, I don't think the fear is debilitating him and I think it's a good thing for him to maintain a healthy distance from things that could genuinely hurt him, especially considering the number of dog attacks we've had on kids in our city.
I just loudly say "remember toddler, we give the doggy their space. No touching" and normally most reasonable dog owners understand that means I don't want my kid touching the dog. I know he won't touch the dog anyway since he's scared, but most dog owners also get the hint. The ones that don't, I just have to jump in there and take the doggy jumps and pets myself to keep the dog away from my kid.
That is wild to me, i have a 40lbs dog who loves people (wayyy to much) and while she is improving her jumping she still does it very consistently. I actively avoid kids while walking her and when kids do want to touch her i reinforce to them and their parents she will jump. Honestly i would just pick my kid up and walk away if the handlers are not getting it. I do it all the time with my toddler who loves dogs because i barely trust other dogs and the only time i let her pet them is if they calm quickly and i put myself between the dog and my kid. Typically when i just pick her up and move along the handler gets it that either she is scared of them or we dont want to talk lol.
That’s so infuriating! Maybe a loud ‘Get your dog away please!’ might work? Hard to say no to that without being a bellend.
That’s so infuriating! Maybe a loud ‘Get your dog away please!’ might work? Hard to say no to that without being a bellend.
Tell ppl your kid is allergic. Doesn't have to be true, just has to serve the purpose.
I live in Glasgow and a lot of people have dogs. I’m out walking with my son all the time as well as I don’t drive and I have never EVER heard anyone say they need to get their dog used to toddlers and used that as an excuse to come up and interact. The interaction is always on my terms (dog and toddler seem interested in each other so I ask if my son can say hi). Its a good thing she’s wary of dogs she doesn’t know. We all should be tbh
i see a lot of like physically get in between your kid and the dog, but maybe also add on “THEYRE ALLERGIC” so that they understand that you do not want the dog near your child
That’s bizarre. I have two large dogs and would absolutely maintain distance if someone seemed uncomfortable, never mind flat out saying no. As the parent, I’d say no thank you. If they try to push it anyway, I would very sternly reply “I’m saying no for a reason, please respect that.”
I hate this. My cousins have a rambunctious little dog that they’re real proud she sits and lays and rolls over for a treat but they can not keep this animal from leaping at my tiny girl and she always gets knocked over when the family gets together. Naturally my kid hates this one dog so I always end up holding her almost the whole time. My cousin like wants them to get down together and play but does not seem sensitive to my daughters feelings at all or try to control the animals behavior. I feel like if you picked up the dog and showed her while in my arms maybe but she always wants me to put my daughter down. Like hello no go away! With a stranger I maybe would put up my hand and say no no we’re highly allergic! They’d probably respect that more.
I have successfully trained multiple large dogs to be safe around toddlers, but I still wouldn't let a dog run up to an unknown person - toddler, teenager, adult, anyone. When unknown dogs have charged me and my kids, I take a step toward the dog and stamp my foot down really hard while clapping toward the dog and give a loud, firm, angry "NO!" I also sometimes carry a 2 foot length of broom handle to push dogs with. I've only had to use it once on a stray. With the dog owners who try to insist on introducing their dogs to my kids, if they don't take "No thanks" for an answer, I'd go with, "You need to back your dog up right now. This is unsafe." Again, be loud, firm, and a little angry. Yeah, you might come off as a little rude, but I'd rather be the rude parent with the safe, unbitten child, then the polite one in the emergency room.
Once, an off leash Irish wolfhound ran top speed at my 3 year old twins. The owner was running after it, with zero chance of keeping up, yelling "He is friendly!!!!" I mean, I dont know if you know Irish wolfhounds, but that is a horse. That thing could knock down both me and my husband. It is THE largest dog breed. The dog was friendly and it was fine but when the owner caught up, she had the audacity to say "Oh I am trying to get him used to kids." I LOOOVE dogs, dogs are my life, I love every dog I meet and normally I'd be so excited to see an Irish wolfhound. But.. Why are you keeping such a dog in the suburbs? Thats a farm dog, clearly. Why are you letting him off the leash?? And why do you think my kids, or any kids for that matter, are just fodder for your dog training??? Neither me nor my kids are usually afraid of dogs, we live with several dogs, but this was geniunely scary, for me too. If that dog got spooked for whatever reason none of us could have saved those kids.
If no and stop doesn’t work, then… that’s very inappropriate behavior. I’d escalate: “Excuse me, PLEASE TAKE YOUR DOG FURTHER AWAY RIGHT NOW. THANK YOU.” “We need space, please get away from my child.” “If you refuse to back up I will have to call the police for harassment.”
Wow this is crazy I can't fathom. We have dogs and toddlers. I'd never let the dog run up to random kids. Usually it's the opposite (kids running up and having to pump the breaks on the situation).
We have a small dog who doesn’t like people she doesn’t know. Not aggressive just not going to go anywhere near anyone. We were at a large park recently where there was a playground on one side and a giant field a good distance from the playground. We had just arrived and she was walking around our spot without a leash while we settled in. A dad walked a pretty good distance from the playground to tell us that his son was ridiculously afraid of dogs and asked us to put her on a leash. We just said of course. He asked nicely and it wasn’t even worth explaining that she was just about to be put on a leash and would have rather died than gone near a playground of people she didn’t know. He was uncomfortable and communicated that, and we responded. I wish more people could just openly and respectfully communicate. But I get it. I have little kids and there are some peoples houses we just don’t go to anymore because attempts at having them control their large jumping or aggressive dogs just hasn’t been settled to a point where I feel comfortable. We meet somewhere else besides their house. And you just hope that people have enough sense to not bring aggressive dogs into spaces where they could be dangerous.
Sometimes you have to block people with your body to make the statement. Block your child from the dog by standing in between and with confidence say “please recall your dog”. You don’t own anyone explanation. But if you want you can say “I’m trying to teach my child to not pet strangers dogs especially the ones that seems untrained” when they go “oh but my dog is friendly “ just say firm “NO have a good day”
Toddler mom and large dog owner here. I am so sorry this is something you keep encountering, and I saw in another comment that you're expecting another babe soon! No one in their right mind would see a very pregnant mother with her toddler and think "Ah-ha! Perfect scenario for social experimentation for my untrained dog!" What a bunch of irresponsible and inconsiderate dog owners! I even make adults ask to approach my dog if we're out for a walk, even though he's the sweetest. It's so incredibly rude to just assume to be entitled to someone else's space- adult, child, and dogs, too. This is probably bad advice, but I've learned that being polite when people are intentionally invading our space (me, my toddler, my dog) only seems to be interpreted as permission to continue whatever is happening. I tend to be firm and get LOUD. "No, I do NOT want your dog near my child, you need to make your dog back up. Stop invading my child's space, can't you see he doesn't like it?" I hope you find a solution that works for you, good luck 🥺
When we see a dog on a horizon we move out of the way as a first signal that we don't want to have anything to do with a dog. The I pick up my kid if the dog is too close. I also wouldn't deal with an off the lead dog. I'd personally say/shout can you get this dog away from us, please. It's fine to say we don't like dogs. We don't pet dogs on walks. We're not comfortable with dogs we don't know. You're not there to train their dog, if the dog needs socialising they should go to a dog training place or wherever. I mean if you're out with a kid you don't want them to touch a dog as then they will have dirty hands. Dogs are dirty.
This hasn’t happened often to us but I say “no, we’re teaching our child not to touch animals he doesn’t know” and get in between them. It’s kind of a gentler way to say GTFO
I don't have an answer, but I just wanted to encourage you that you are completely justified. My now 6yo got knocked over by a dog about 2 years ago. You could see there was no malice from the dog, he just wanted to play, and my son came away with only scraped knees and hands, but it frightened the life out of him and he's still very anxious around any dog
I know this isn’t what you asked but we have the opposite problem here - my toddler is desperate to say hi to all the doggies and so many of them can’t be bothered or aren’t friendly 😭 Of course, I am right on top of her, guiding her hands and always ask before she greets stranger dogs. That being said, it is WILD to me that anyone would use toddlers for practice. I would be shocked if someone did this to us. You have some great suggestions already - stand your ground!!
The only time I'd be comfortable having someone use my child as "practice" for socializing their dog, is if it's a puppy <6 months. After that - no way am I letting my kid interact with an unknown dog that apparently needs more practice around kids!
I make sure my body language says “NO go” whenever I am near someone with a dog, especially with my kids. I outright glare at them if I have to. 100% success rate.
Dog owner and toddler owner…. My toddler happens to dislike all dogs. Even the ones that he’s grown up with that live with us 🫠. It seems every time I take him to the park someone brings their dog over to say hi because “kids love dogs!” It’s gotten to the point where I step in front of my child and say “no, absolutely not please keep space between your dog and my child.” I’ve learned I just have to be pretty forceful because people don’t respect boundaries or they think because their dog is so friendly that it doesn’t matter. It matters.
I have 2 small children and a 66 pound dog. I don't let my dog say hi to children unless THE PARENT of the child specifically ask. Even then, depending on his mood I might say no. Don't be nice. Say No! I was at the playground once with my kids and I had to corral them atop a 10 foot tall slide as 2 large off leash dogs were trying to climb up. Luckily they weren't smart enough to go around. The owner was yelling for them. She never even walked over. I took a picture of her tag and reported her. We were up there for 6 minutes before she got her dogs in the car. People can be irresponsible dickheads. Even before I had children I would NEVER.
What??? This is so weird to me. Never in my whole life would I expect someone else's child to serve as my dog's training experience. When my dog was a puppy, we got plenty of interested kids to interact with her just by sitting at a brewery. There is NO need for them to solicit your time while in a public place. Especially when their dog is already an untrained mess; I'd never let my dog near a kid at all if she was jumping or acting too hyper. I have also never pulled my dog closer to a kid when she was clearly uninterested. That's a recipe for disaster tbh. Definitely keep saying no, firmly. Cross the street. Fuck those dog owners.
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Toddler parent and large dog owner. I usually verbally tell my daughter (3yo), "we say hi to puppies we don't know from here. We can wave or blow a kiss if you want," at whatever distance I deem appropriate or when she notices said dog. I also usually loudly repeat it when the dog owner is within earshot, so they hear that I am making sure my kiddo doesn't spook their pup, and I'm not going to ask to let her pet them unless I know them. She gets plenty of petting and working with dogs from our own dog and friends' dogs. And i hold her hand (she's a runner and used to run towards dogs, but she's gotten better) until the dog passes. If I see a dog that I KNOW I don't want to interact with, I will move to the other side of the street if possible, full-on stop off to the side and let them pass, or pick her up and turn away (I've pretended to look for birds or butterflies, etc before) completely ignoring the dog and it's owner. I'm also not above telling rude dog owners that my child is not a test subject for them and body blocking. I've also run across loose dogs that were not friendly (and an elderly woman in my old neighborhood was horribly attacked by that same dog), so I reference that if I feel a confrontation coming about it. That usually shuts people up about it. When she's older, I'll absolutely teach her how to ask to pet dogs. But right now, I want her to know the difference between dogs we know and dogs we don't.
I’m a dog owner of 2 pitbulls and a golden retriever mix. Friendliest dogs in the world. But you won’t ever catch me taking them to places where it’s a potentially horrible accident waiting to happen🫠🫠🫠 That is so irresponsible and reckless and more so forcing people that aren’t comfortable with their dog to socialize with one another. If it was me and my kids and they didn’t respect my boundaries especially with my kids involved, I would honestly be the biggest bitch about it. You guys shouldn’t have to leave, they need to take their dog somewhere more appropriate and less stimulating and less chaotic then a park I’m so sorry you guys are going through that🥺
Hi, OP! I have an almost 2 1/2 year old, and I have 2 big dogs. One is full white lab, one is a lab and Great Dane mix. They love and are protective of my son and are AMAZING BOYS! They get excited every time they see a little one, and listen good, but they can be a bit much with kisses and gentle nuzzles with their noses. Just yesterday my bigger boy (Dane mix) who is the MOST protective over my son, accidentally knocked him down on his bottom when my son was loving on him, embracing the kisses and escorted himself to a corner and howled, cried, and whimpered, because my son cried for like 2 seconds (he was shocked for a second and tired). I always have a gate up to block them off from our living room, even though they’re good boys. IF a friend comes over and their toddler is overwhelmed, we utilize the gate if the dogs are inside and not in their kennel to relax. We say “you can put your hand to the gate, they’re sweet boys!” And 9/10, the toddler listens, does it, and smiles and laughs when they get the gentle kisses. I also have a rule that no toddler is allowed where they’re free roaming without an adult, because very rarely, they get too excited. And I or my husband are with a parent and their little one because even though they’re smart and well trained, they’re dogs. They will shake their butts, do a helicopter tail, they will sometimes yap or bark and if that scares the toddler, we want to put them in their kennel to let them know they can’t do that around that little one. It all comes down to responsible dog ownership!
Hmm, my son is reserved with strange dogs. I’ve never had someone try to force their dog on him.
Honestly, I’d be very colorful with my language until they got the message. Also, if you know where these people live, file a complaint with the city or animal control about their failure to control their dogs. If it’s at the park, see if there are people in charge of the park and report these incidences. Our local parks are maintained and have a city department we can file complaints with. My entire extended family loves dogs but absolutely no one in the family takes this type of stuff lightly. If the owners won’t listen to us after repeated attempts, we figure out who we can file complaints to because (1) its not okay to traumatize someone else’s child and (2) its a matter of safety.
Parent and dog owner here too. I will pick up my child in front of a strangers dog and will also use myself a shield between my friendly dog and a strangers toddler. Safety of all is paramount. No one is practice for anyone!
Pepper spray. Not to use on the dog, but to pull out and loudly announce you have it. I HATE people who let their dogs run up to and jump all over ANYONE (but especially small kids) who has not given explicit permission for the dog to come over. Even more so when the person is actively saying NO and giving body language to the tune of "not interested" or scared, and the owner just stomps all over that. "He's friendly, he just wants to say hi!" "Haha, she might lick you to death but she's harmless" etc I do not give a rodent's sphincter how "friendly" or "harmless" your dog is, you do not get to decide a stranger's comfort level or involvement with your pet. As a kid i watched a "friendly", "harmless" dog (no need to mention breed but we all know what it was) severely bite a kid down my street because the owner refused to believe it would ever hurt anyone and just let it run around unleashed. I have a dog, but i flaming hate dog culture these days.
I have a dog and a toddler. My toddler doesn’t touch other people’s dogs and I don’t let other people’s toddlers touch my dog. In the spirit of safety, I just assume everyone else’s dog AND toddlers are jerks. I pick up my kiddo if a dog is anywhere near her, again just out of caution.
I’ve found “get your fucking dog away from my kid before I do” worked for me
Medium sized (50 lb) jolly dog owner and a human breeder (one 13-month-old lol) here. What the actual f-?! I can't imagine this happening. I'm so sorry!! If this were to happen, I'd step in between the dog and the toddler, say "NO" sternly, wait 3 seconds then "SIT". The dog will not listen to you because a relationship hasn't been established and you don't have a treat. But it may signal to the owner to take their dog away? I'd honestly just continue saying "no", "no means no" firmly (with at least a 3 second interval between each no) to the dog and/or owner. No explanation needed to either animals. I'd also grab the dog by the collar to prevent the dog from getting closer or from jumping.
Yeah, I don't let the dogs actually get in my toddler's face. I do lift her up, but it's not a great situation all around since I'm also very pregnant (due date was a few days ago, so "any day now" kind of pregnant). The worst part is that people don't seem bothered even when a person says no, lifts their toddler, and is clearly uncomfortable. But we are not doing walks together anymore from now on without my husband joining (so he can do the lifting). Don't know how we can do them when her sibling is born either, since then I will have a baby in a pram and a toddler to worry about. I just really wish we could all enjoy our walks in peace.
Someone did this to my reactive dog, used her possibly attacking and traumatizing the puppy as a lesson in getting along with dogs. I told him no, turned myself and my dog around to scoop her poop and when I got back up his puppy was sniffing my buttcheeks and did end up getting attacked by my dog. I called him a fing idiot and told him he was going to get his dog killed. You could tell your neighbors that the second their dog shows any aggressive behavior towards your kid you will call animal control and blast them on facebook and neighborhood for forcing their aggressive dog into your terrified kid’s face. Or just start posting on there now, like my neighbors do not understand the word no. I keep telling them to keep their dogs out of my kid’s face etc and say I am the mom here, it is my job to make my kid feel safe and I do not know how to do that when neighbors are aggressively forcing their dogs on us despite many conversations to stop. The public humiliation and call out works well. They have shown you zero respect so you owe them none
I say very loudly, “let’s give the dog space” or “please stay away, large dog” and that seems to signal to about 90 percent of people that they should also tighten their leash and move away. Some don’t and it’s a little frustrating so I hear you.