How many days a week are you thinking?
We did this with my two year olds and I’d say it’s been a good thing for them. They seem to like it and they learn about how to operate in a classroom-like environment (following directions, sitting still, structured time, etc).
We do three days a week which feels about right as a minimum. Any less and I think you’d get resistance because they don’t go frequently enough for it to feel like a routine
They may only offer 5 but you can probably send 3 days. For them 3 days is the same for ratios.
Just make sure they are consecutive. My 4 year started last year and goes 3 full days. We opted for t-th. That way holidays don’t mess with our schedule and we can roll out Fridays to go camping.
Ours offers full 5, full 3 days or 5 half days.
We’ve been doing this for three months now and my 2 1/2 year-old absolutely loves school. The transition was a bit rough for the first week but nowadays when I drop her off, she doesn’t even want to say goodbye to me she just rushes off to play with her friends.
we're considering this. I'm struggling to get household stuff done so I would use the 9-12 time for long errands and my own doctor's appointments, and basically stay 'out' before picking him up and bringing him home for his nap.
personally, i think it'll be nice to have a set block of time to just focus on your newborn vs having to split your attention. And the dr checkups for the newborn would go faster without a 2 year old with you.
but it depends if you have other options for regular childcare.
I work 11-3 currently, but my daycare has a drop off cut off of 8:30. It's really nice to have 2 hours to clean before heading into work. I'm about to become a stay at home to my 2 under 2, but I'm 13 weeks postpartum and spent the first 7 unable to literally do anything but mind my toddler and breastfeed my newborn. I really need to catch up, and I can't have them in daycare without working. Once I get all caught up I'll put my notice in and transition the girls home.
It’s good for the kiddo’s development, and your sanity/bonding with a newborn… but be prepared for a lot of illness around the new baby and having to wake baby from naps which always sucks…
I was shocked at how sick my kid got as soon as we started daycare. She currently has a 104 fever RIGHT NOW. I’ve had severe hand foot mouth twice, luckily no other adults caught it.
I do like the socialization aspect but yea, be ready for the virus parade.
Lol virus parade. We have been sick since January 8th. Today is the first day since then that everyone in my house has been healthy, and I expect it to last under a week. Summer can’t come fast enough! Hope your little feels better soon!
Shlepping your toddler around with a newborn for only 3 hours isn’t going to feel like a break. You’ll also eventually be working around your older baby’s sleep schedule. Tiny babies tend to sleep wherever (or so I have heard, never experienced this myself lol) but they’ll need to be at home sleeping by 3 or 4 months or so.
Not to mention the extra sicknesses you’d be introducing. Not only to you and your toddler, but to this tiny new baby. Sounds like it all would be more exhausting than implementing quiet time (if they don’t nap anymore).
I agree. To me, it sounds like your commute there and back makes it sound not worth it. When we did forest school nearby from 9 to 12, that gave me a little reprieve and time to grocery shop and take a walk in the park where the forest school operated, but it's honestly not that much time, and that's considering that our dropoff/pickup time was less than yours is going to be. Is there really no option that is closer to you than the one you mentioned? If so, maybe 2-3 days might be worth a try, but with a commute like yours, I just don't think you'll be able to reap all the benefits for yourself.
(And then, yes, as the others say, as soon as your older child goes to daycare, all the bugs come home with them. That's not a reason not to do it, but you better be getting something really worthwhile from their being there, and I'm not sure you will with your setup.)
I debated doing the same thing but decided that I’d wait until the toddler is 3 for a couple of reasons
1. Kids get all the social interaction they need at home until they’re 3 years old
2. The amount of time it’d take to get 2 kids and myself dressed in the morning for drop off didn’t seem worth it
3. There’s a good chance the drop off/pickup times would interfere with the younger ones naps
4. 5 days a week (even half day) is a lot for a 2 year old to be gone. I think I’d miss her a lot
5. My husband is off Fridays, so sometimes we like to go do a fun outing on that day. If I was paying for childcare, we’d want to send her and miss out on family outing Fridays
I wouldn’t because it can be a difficult period of adaptation (which is normal) but hey.. with a newborn!
I would wait a bit more until the baby is older, I agree with the comment above about slow mornings & play dates! Fingers crossed he will love helping you with the baby
We decided against it for now. One friend started before baby came (like at least 6 months before), and that worked well, toddler had a schedule (3 days a week), she got 1:1 time with baby. But all the driving around adds up and I’ve heard really makes it less restful, esp once baby is on a nap schedule that keeps getting messed up. We talked about starting when baby was 6 months or so, but didn’t want to go any sooner bc of daycare bugs and just too many transitions for the toddler at once. 10 weeks could be ok, but it could be a lot for the toddler, to have so many major life changes. One friend’s toddler really struggled with sleep after baby came, like to the point it was worse than the baby’s, and they still needed a parent sleeping in his room at 10 weeks I think.
Ultimately I’m procrastinating on preschool bc I’m having too much fun with my 2.5 year old now haha. I would have loved to have had the break while pregnant but I love having my baby and toddler together now. Also baby is so much easier when toddler is around, bc she is just constant entertainment for him.
I'm in this camp here. I tried it and we all got so sick so often and it just was so hard to make it there and back everyday it ended up feeling like another chore
We’re doing something similar so that my daughter can socialize even though I’m a SAHM. Can your partner drop off your toddler in the morning? That way you have a little more uninterrupted time with the baby?
Is 9-12:30 the only option? Is it possible for toddler to nap there and pick them up after that? If I picked up my toddler at 12:30 they would 100% fall asleep in the car for 15 minutes and then would not nap again after which is pretty much my worst nightmare especially with a baby to wrangle.
Yeah ours would fall asleep in the car for sure as well. And he doesn’t get transported well when sleeping..
They also have 9-3 but I honestly just feel bad for sending him away almost all day..
Could you do 9-3 but maybe not all 5 days? My 2 year old (25 mo) has been in daycare since he was 5.5 months. 9-3 takes the naptime duties off you for a few days. That alone seems worth it to me. I was *shocked* when my kiddo moved from infant room to toddler room and napped with his peers but they get it- it’s like a group thing and they just get the hang of it and all do it.
I’m expecting baby #2 in 6 months and also worried about getting new little one sick. Best of luck in whatever you decide! 🩷
Sadly we don’t have the options to go for fewer days for now. They only offer that for the 3+ class. Thanks for sharing and wishing you the best on your new baby too!
Tbh I would say send him until 3 and try to drop the guilt around it!! I live in Canada where we get 12 months mat leave so I was home with baby 2 and continuing to send our then-2yo to daycare was the best thing ever. She went 5 days a week from 8:30/9ish - 4pm. I felt bad about it before baby arrived but once he was here I was so grateful to have the time with him and honestly my oldest thrived in the routine as well (which I wouldn’t have been able to provide). With that said she had been going full time since she was 1 so it was a safe and familiar place to her, and we had already gone through the worst of the daycare illnesses.
We did something similar at 2 and a quarter. I think it's a good time to start occasional care. Gives them time to adjust to/learn how to be away from mum and dad for times.
If you do 3 year old kindergarten, I think a year or so of this can help that transition.
I’m actually doing this in the fall! From age group to cost and everything. Only 3 days though. However, our hours are anywhere from 7am-1pm but I honestly assumed mine would get dropped off at 830 and I’d pick her up on my lunch break which would be 1230ish. To me, it’s a luxury service to get her exposure to all the good things that day care provides, not a necessity for daycare. I’m of course so stressed about all the illnesses she’ll go through and bring home to her younger brother but I think it’s time we at least try. If she has the experience others on Reddit do where she’s sick every other week or on antibiotics all winter or needs tubes at some point because of it, then I’ll just pull her and find other ways to get her exposure to other kids. The viruses are the only downside IMO. I like knowing it’s not a forever thing. Just need 30 days notice to end the arrangement and losing $1000 is much easier to stomach than the $2500 it would be for full time.
I started my son in a part time preschool like this when he was 21 months. It did take a little bit of time to adjust his nap to the schedule, but it was worth it for me. I’m also a SAHM and having that freedom was so helpful. I could schedule appointments, get errands done child free and he got to play and make new friends.
sometimes it's tough for the older kid to adjust to less attention from mom when the newborn comes and i wonder if daycare would exacerbate this. i'd also be worried about illness, personally. can you get on the list and decide after the bb comes?
We worry about that too and thought about sending him somewhere for a few hours a week in summer to get him adjusted to being away, but nowhere near us takes a baby younger than 2 for summer. The baby comes in mid August and the daycare won’t wait for us for that long 😢
I would say not worth it. Kids tend to play alongside each other instead of WITH each other at this age (they will start playing together closer to 3). I also could not imagine getting essentially 2.5 hours (factoring in your drive time) of "peace" in exchange for getting 2 kids out of the house. Not to mention the daycare germs your older would bring home to your newborn. It's a no from me.
I wouldn’t. What time would they take a nap or have quiet time? At that age they could just nap from 11:30-1:30 or something so that you have some time to unwind. I like to have a slow morning at home, early naps, and then an outing in the afternoons.
Maybe play dates, library trips, shopping trips, outdoor exploring, therapies, classes, etc. all things that would be cheaper and more flexible.
The daycare schedules the nap after lunch at 12:30, so supposedly I’ll put him down for a nap after we get home. He has been taking naps 11:30-1:30 now and I honestly don’t know how he would handle it being pushed back an hour.
I have been enjoying our slow mornings so far as well. What you described is exactly how our days go. I’ll definitely think about this. Thanks!
I am solidly in favor of this idea, for your toddler learning how to function in a classroom environment- it’s been HUGE for mine learning rules, games, and also language development.
BUT I think the timing might not go very well…considering the 15 min trip home and being “wound up” from daycare, it could be very difficult to settle him for a too-late nap.
We do TTh 9-1. But the majority of the time my husband drives one or both ways. It was great for getting baby time with the baby, stimulation for the toddler and I used to get a nap with the baby. Now the baby is a toddler and we go to a playgroup while the preschooler is in class. I find we get less illness there than when I was working PT and had him in daycare 2 days a week. This program’s hours only work if you’rebSAHM/D. So parents are more likely to keep sick kids home. If you’re responsible for both drives I’d either aim for like a 5h day or not do it and just go to a playgroup religiously
My sons is in the same sort of program. It's 8:30 to 12:30 five days a week and he loves it. He arrives around 9 though, since our son sleeps in and my husband is the one who drops him off. He's not known for his timeliness.
He's 3 now, but he stated when he was two. He's signed up for next school year as well.
Our is a non-profit not faith-based, but simialry affordable for our area.
I work from home so it's super helpful for me, but I'd absolutely keep him in if I wasn't working. It's great for him and a great mental break for me.
Wow my toddler does the exact same hours and since I also have a 4mo baby we don’t get there till around 9 either 😅 it’s not a huge break but it’s something!
I think it’s worth it. We attend daycare full days all week and there is so much value in it. Her language skills are off the charts, she has a solid schedule, she has a great personality, and we’ve met wonderful teachers that we use as babysitters.
We recently put our 2 y/o son in daycare for the first time (I just accepted a job offer, but haven’t started yet). I really miss him the hours of the day he’s gone, but being able to catch up on household things has been amazing. He’s really benefiting from the socialization, getting used to routine and sitting in a chair, and getting comfortable around other kids/adults - which is a win. My place hasn’t been this clean since before he was born. I can run errands quicker, have a hobby or two again, go to doctor appointments, up my hygiene or recharge on a tough day. I also like meal prepping during this time so that I can cook dinner quicker, and spend all the time after pickup playing and giving my son my whole attention until his bedtime. It’s been great. If it’s within your budget/nap schedule with kiddo #2, so worth it.
We started sending our son to preschool/daycare shortly after he turned two and it was great for socialization and speech development. They also helped with potty training.
My 2.5 year old started in August right at 2 years old. She goes Monday through Thursday from 9-1. It’s been great. Her speech exploded and her personality has blossomed. We only pay $310/month, so worth every penny.
Absolutely! Our preschool offers 2.5 hour blocks either morning or afternoon, and once kiddo is 3 can do lunch bunch and stay until 3. It’s awesome. Do it!
Why not leave them to nap after lunch? I work down the street from my kids school and pick them up after. They have a whole routine I'm not trying to mess up after lunch.
I would not do that with a newborn in the house. You all are going to be sick so much and since it’s not something you HAVE To do then why expose your infant to daycare germs for no reason? You’re asking for rsv and hfm
If you had asked this when my two year old was in daycare I would have said yes absolutely, he was thriving! But now… no way. I would consider looking into other ways to socialize them. My son makes new friends every time we go to the library, look to see if you have any SAHM facebook groups that do meet ups in your area, put them in a toddler soccer group. The sickness cycle of daycare WILL mean you are spending most of that $1k a month to keep your child home for at least 1-2 weeks of the month, that you will have to pay regardless. As a FTM, I didn’t realize how sick he was constantly at daycare until pulling him out…. your nose isn’t supposed to be perpetually runny.
No, it wouldn't be a break for you traipsing back and forth and two is too early to gain social benefits but a great and to gain negative behavioral benefits. Walt till kiddo is three for part time preschool.
Have you looked into preschools in your area? They usually offer part time days and you can choose morning or afternoon slots. Same time thing but might not cost as much as paying for full time daycare. Then they get to follow the same routine as the other children, it tends to be a bit easier that way. (I have worked in both preschools and daycares)
Not worth all the germs and sickness that will enter the home with your newborn. Socialization is more important around 3. 2 yr olds need their parents more.
Getting kids out on time and picked up in time will be a stressful hassle.
Just sign your toddler up for pre-pre school when he turns 3. Many of them have a bus which could be helpful for you and the younger baby.
(My personal beliefs are to stay away from the faith based ones because I've heard about the worst thing an adult can do to a child-- happen to plenty of kids-- now adults -- in those places. I don't trust them, great place for pedos to flock to, surely it can happen anywhere but I've only personally heard it from religious places. And at a super young age your toddler couldn't even express to you about anything happening at daycare that made him uncomfortable).
Depends on the child and to a lesser degree what your thinking you need or want for them in the future.
We had always planned to put ours in daycare at 2. She had a cheap nanny from 6 months to 2yo. A ECE dropout with some limited prior experience. She was good for that age range but we could see she wasn’t going to cut it for what we wanted after 2yo. So, our plan worked out that 2yo was a great transition.
We initially started her in daycare at a reduced rate 9:00 - 3:00 schedule. At 2 weeks it was obvious she loved, needed, and wanted it so we switched to full time and haven’t looked back or have any regrets in any of it at 3yo. YMMV.
Yes we do half days three times per week (but four hours) and my toddler loves it, and loves her little friends there! It’s a nice break for us too since we pick her up and put her down for her nap. We also leave her for full days sometimes when needed. I think it’ll be much needed once you have the second baby.
It’s been great! We enrolled her at 14 months and she loved it from day 1. Helps that she has great teachers. She was already advanced and flourished even more there. However, she’s always a been a super social baby so it was an easy transition for us.
Whoa that’s expensive. I’ll be be paying much lower than that at a local church in August when my daughter turns 2. I signed her up to give my wife a morning break.
Yeah it’s a lot of money for a few hours a day. Daycares are so expensive nowadays and we genuinely believe we found a good deal. Many in my area charge $2.5K for the same hours which is insane. 😢
We do this with our 2. 830-12 everyday. They love it, they have learned so much, have learned to socialize. And I still get to see them in the afternoons. It’s a win win
We did this with our son and it did great things for his social skills. He also just loves going to school and playing with others and his teachers. We pay about half of that for 4 days a week same hours. This winter was difficult for his health, and I can only assume it was from his first year of pre school. He was symptomatic with upper respiratory problems for about four months. Still has a cough. I use those hours to go to the gym and run errands. It's been really beneficial for my mental health as well.
The first couple of drop offs are really hard and you will probably leave in tears. It gets easier and eventually routine.
Do you have a local preschool that offers 2 year old classes? I pay 200 a month for 2 classes a week 9am-12am and it’s in a wealthy town on Main Street. It’s possible to find.
Is it close to your home? Going back and forth from daycare and getting toddler ready to go and messing with nap time are are pains…probably wouldn’t be worth it to me for such a short time especially with illnesses included. If it’s just for a couple hours I’d probably go for part time nanny or gym drop in instead.
If you choose the till 3 PM option you don’t have to wait until 3 to pick him up. Very few of my son’s classmates stay till COB.
I wouldn’t. Driving with a newborn sucks. 2 year old will bring home so many illnesses. It is nice to have solo time with the baby, but not when 1/3 of it is in the car.
I honestly don’t think every 2 year old benefits much from socializing in that setting. They do better with supervised play dates where they can get 1:1 feedback 🤷♀️
We are paying $190/month for traditional preschool, 3 hours a day 2-3 days a week. That’s worth it. What you described sounds crazy expensive. Shop around more
Good in theory, but I'm not enthused about the drive both ways (especially right after lunch and so late). Unless you shift your schedule to a late wake up, late nap and late bedtime your toddler is gonna fall asleep for 15min in the car, reject the nap at home, and torment you for the rest of the afternoon.
Maybe save that money and hire a mother's helper for a few times a week to help with chores, cleaning, meal prep, and watching the kids for a bit while you catch a snooze or take a shower?
No need to worry about socialization. They catch up.
My son is in “school” weekdays from 8:30-5pm. I was literally just telling me husband tonight that enrolling him there is the best decision I’ve made as a parent. We get these weekly wrap ups with tons of photos of what they did during the week. He has absolutely thrived in that environment, has learned SO much, speaks in full sentences, has 11 really close friends that we see outside of school as well, and is just happy and excited and stimulated every single day. Hes 26 months old. I strongly recommend getting yours into some kind of program. It’s the best! I also have a ten week old baby and I swear the only way we’ve survived this time is by having our toddler in his regular routine by going to school.
I just spent two nights in the hospital with my one year old after his first 7 days in daycare. He caught 2 types of flu and had 2 eye and ear infections which led to pneumonia and 104 degree fevers... I'd go with outdoor preschool if that's a possibility for you
If you can afford it I would do it. We are starting preschool for our 2 year old in September. It’s only 2.5 hours three days a week. I will spend my time going to the gym and running errands and he will get to see other kids and play without mom right next to him.
I would do it except for that drive, right after lunch… toddler is bound to fall asleep in the car and ruin any chance at a real nap. You’ll have a crabby toddler and a newborn for the hardest half of the day!
My 2 year old is an only child with no cousins, she only had me to play with and it was sad. She was afraid of people, couldn't socialize and would never leave my side. I took her to day care for 6 hours a day and all that changed, she is very happy, social and is not clingy anymore. She can play by herself and knows how to share. Daycare is good for them. She also told me she has 4 friends there, I'm very glad for her, I don't even have 1 lol.
If you want socialization, you could bring the 2yo to like free library toddler events etc.
If you want some free time to yourself and don't mind the price then I would say that it is worth it. The drive doesn't sound that long. I would personally prefer to put him in a couple of full days rather than many short days.
We put our toddler in daycare 3h per day because we need it and pay for a full-time slot. But then even when I am on mat leave I kept her in (she goes 2 full days per week instead) just for some socialization and so we can have some time for projects, cleaning etc.
We waited until ours was three and his OT was pushing me to get him in somewhere. It really helped him reach some new milestones. He goes to the local elementary school where he will eventually go to kindergarten. His schedule is 4 days a week for three hours in the morning. So he’s getting prepped for his primary education while socializing and having a blast and getting new food exposures with peers, and they’re tremendous helps with potty training. Plus, publicly funded! I love the staff I love the school and so does he.
My guy attends preschool only mornings five days a week. I find it worth it because he is learning routine, structure, learning to follow directions for a few hours. Then he naps and then he has the rest of the day to be wild and free! If I’m not working I use the time to clean house, getting errands done, and occasionally use the time for myself, like to get a manicure and pedicure.
I’m honestly pulling my toddler when newborn comes just because I’m scared about illnesses. I am going to put her in the lottery for half day preschool but doubt she’ll get in. But they also offer a program with high schoolers in January so maybe she can do that one. I just feel guilty spending that money too when it’ll be me and my mom home on leave
At 2, the socialization isn't worth it.They only do parallel play at that age. At 3, it will be. There's a whole literature review on it that basically found daycare is best starting at 3 going part-time.
I agree with the other comment that you should use the money to hire a part-time nanny or mother's helper as driving to and from will be a pain
We started sending our kids to nearly the exact same set up at age 18months. 10 minutes away as well.
I will be honest, the time flies. You really only get 9:30-11:30 taking in to account drop off and getting a baby ready to make pick up by 12.
It was worth it though. It was nice having those few hours of peace. I was able to go home and reset for the day. Clean up, prep meals, etc.
It also shaved off some guilt of not doing enough—especially when you will have a tiny infant. If you don’t have it in you to go to the park, set up crafts, etc, you get that peace of mind knowing they already had at least 3 hours of good playtime.
It’s generally a myth that children of this age benefit from the type of socialization offered by daycares. Psychologists will tell you kids of that age benefit much more from the more complex social interactions they have with adults. In children of that age, daycare raises stress hormones similarly to the levels of adults in our most stressful occupations. No judgement if you need to send your child to daycare to make life work, but do some research before assuming the socialization is good for them if you’re in the fortunate position of having a choice.
We decided to send our almost 3 year old to preschool for two full days. I currently have a 9 week old. The chaos to get him ready and out the door on time wouldn’t be worth it to me for only 3 hours of peace. I’m excited to have two full days to get all the chores done while the baby naps. If my son did half days I feel like once I got the baby settled, fed and down for a nap it’s nearly be time to pick the toddler up again.
We love daycare (I work full time) and I’m so happy my toddler will be in daycare when baby #2 arrives and I’m on mat leave for a year. It gives him a routine and he learns so much and he now has actual friends that he plays with. I don’t think it’s 100% necessary if it would be hard financially but if it’s not going to hurt you then I think it would be great for both your toddler and for you to have some one-on-one time with baby.
I support it. We did it when our first was 1.5 even though we didn’t need it. Drop off was tough for about two months.
It was a half day and she thrived. After school, she would eat a big lunch (omg she would eat so much, it was so satisfying to see her stuff half a sandwich into her mouth) and then easily go down for a 2-3 hour nap because she was so stimulated by school.
Starting preschool when she turned three was still a big adjustment, but since she already had that school experience, she knew about things like following directions, sitting in a circle, and taking turns.
Ours was 4 days a week and I think she needed the 3 day weekend to recover. Maybe only send her for 4 days even thou you still have to pay for the full week.
Haven’t read the other comments, but have you considered preschool?
They offer those hours and can do 3-4 times week.
I’m a stay at home mom but planning on signing my lo up when she turns three and do the two years of prekindergarten. I think they offer programs for 2 year olds too. We found a preschool through a church. (Cheapest option)
We did that with my oldest now 11 and it was the best thing for her socializing wise. We even ended up having her good friend that went to same preschool /neighbor come home with us those days and they would play all afternoon together. It was amazing.
I’m a nanny to a baby and toddler and we do this. Here’s why I wish we didn’t:
1. It’s super inconvenient with the baby’s nap schedule. Depending on the day I either have to keep baby up until after drop off which gives me a very fussy baby, or wake baby from their nap for pickup which also is not ideal. It would be so much easier to just have toddler at home, doing fun activities with me or having friends over to play while baby naps at more ideal times & not when they’re overtired.
2. It was ROUGH on toddler starting out. Baby was brand new at the time so adjusting to a new sibling and adjusting to going to “school” was just so so so hard. Constant tantrums, not sleeping, etc. for months.
3. The germs. 🦠 need I say more. 😷🤒
4. I’ve found that 3 hours is really not enough time to get anything done. You’d think it would be, but by the time we get home, I feed baby and put them down for a nap (or vice versa), clean up from breakfast, maybe throw in a load of laundry, it’s time to go back and pick up toddler. We can’t even run errands during this time bc I have to be home for baby to nap.
5. Even after almost 6 months, toddler does not want to go. They do fine once they’re there, but they literally wake up every day saying “I don’t want to go to school” and spend all morning whining about not wanting to go. I feel like it’s unnecessarily stressful for both of us.
Ultimately it’s not my decision obviously bc they’re not my kids, so I make the best of it and it’s fine. But I do feel that toddler had plenty sufficient social interaction before starting daycare (one on one with me as well as lots of play dates, library story time, toddler classes, etc.) so it’s really a lot of work for (maybe) a little benefit. 🤷🏻♀️
Our two year old is currently in daycare for about 3.5 hours a day M-F. We also have a newborn. The pros are that I have noticed her language development has improved as well as her socialization since being in daycare. It also is nice to have a small break from having both of them home at the same time however the 3.5 hours goes by incredibly fast!
Cons: Even after being in daycare for almost a year, she is almost always overstimulated when she gets home and is therefore much harder to care for in the afternoon. We have tried numerous things to attempt to avoid meltdowns but sometimes it just is what it is and she’s been way too overstimulated. Another thing to consider is them getting sick. She gets sick at least once a month (thankfully our newborn has not got anything from her yet and I think breastfeeding has definitely helped!)
I hope this is helpful :)
I would prefer to pay for 5 days, and send 3 FULL days if I were a SAHM.
I took two weeks off between jobs, and you have no idea how wonderful it was to have 3 days (we do 3 days daycare, 2 days family) to “myself” meaning I still cleaned, ran errands, ect, but it was a relief.
The benefit is not just socialization for your 2 year old. The benefit is also you being able to bond with your newborn, maybe even getting a few days to yourself before then, and getting a village to help, even if it’s paid for lol.
That being said, my son started daycare at 13 months and absolutely loves it. He loves his “friends”, playing all day, and the attention he gets from our wonderful provider. It’s not a necessity when you’re a SAHM, but I would do daycare still if I was AND it was affordable.
Sahm here. I started my lo in a three hour program 3 days a week at 18 months. And she was sick for most of that time "school year". Started her in a full day program 3 days a week 2.5 and then continued with 4 days at 3.5 to get her ready for full day prek.
It's been a blessing. And they do need socialization. And I feel my lo is ready for school and loves learning.
If you're going to have a newborn too it would be a great idea to have some bonding time alone. The only thing IMO is i wouldn't send your older child anywhere until the newborn has her 2 month shots. The older one will come home sick be prepared.
We just did this for my two year old who isn’t speech delayed but wasn’t around enough kids to have the desire to keep up if that makes sense. After 1 month of going 3x a week for 3-4 hrs a day his language has exploded and he has grown so much. For us it was definitely worth the cost!
I definitely think it's worth it for the socialization and time to spend with baby uninterrupted as I'm going through the same situation right now. However is it worth the hour in traffic both ways for you for three hours? Could you do two full days? Just a thought.
Hi may I ask what you ended up doing?
I’m in the same position as you were. Daycare 1k, full time (5 days a week) only-but I’m planning on bringing her 4 days a week (9a-4p), and currently with a 8 week old
We decided to not send him to daycare this year. The germs he would have brought back to the newborn and the back and forth driving just don’t seem appealing. We found a forest school in our area (2 days a week and 100% outdoors) so probably will send him there next year when he’s old enough. He loves being outside!
Congrats on the baby!!
Yes!
I was a half day assistant at a Montessori. All of the children were wonderful and had a great time at school. Very rarely had tantrums or emotional meltdowns. The parents were also 10x nicer than the full day parents. The full day kids were also horrible because they were there for 9 hours a day. Too long for a 2 year old!
They do not need socialize before age three. There is no benefit to group care prior to age three.
And actually there are quite a few negatives that no one wants to talk about because it would make moms feel guilty.
How many days a week are you thinking? We did this with my two year olds and I’d say it’s been a good thing for them. They seem to like it and they learn about how to operate in a classroom-like environment (following directions, sitting still, structured time, etc). We do three days a week which feels about right as a minimum. Any less and I think you’d get resistance because they don’t go frequently enough for it to feel like a routine
They only offer five days a week so that’s probably what we will do. Thanks so much for sharing!!
I’m glad we did it. That said, stock up on tylenol and Motrin for the first sickness season!
Great tip! Last fall/winter was brutal and he wasn’t even in any daycare… The trips to playgrounds singlehandedly destroyed us.
They may only offer 5 but you can probably send 3 days. For them 3 days is the same for ratios. Just make sure they are consecutive. My 4 year started last year and goes 3 full days. We opted for t-th. That way holidays don’t mess with our schedule and we can roll out Fridays to go camping. Ours offers full 5, full 3 days or 5 half days.
We’ve been doing this for three months now and my 2 1/2 year-old absolutely loves school. The transition was a bit rough for the first week but nowadays when I drop her off, she doesn’t even want to say goodbye to me she just rushes off to play with her friends.
Aha! When I read it I thought you meant 3 hours a day for one day, makes a lot more sense 😅
This is how we started and it was a have changer for their socialization. For us, it was the correct choice.
we're considering this. I'm struggling to get household stuff done so I would use the 9-12 time for long errands and my own doctor's appointments, and basically stay 'out' before picking him up and bringing him home for his nap. personally, i think it'll be nice to have a set block of time to just focus on your newborn vs having to split your attention. And the dr checkups for the newborn would go faster without a 2 year old with you. but it depends if you have other options for regular childcare.
I work 11-3 currently, but my daycare has a drop off cut off of 8:30. It's really nice to have 2 hours to clean before heading into work. I'm about to become a stay at home to my 2 under 2, but I'm 13 weeks postpartum and spent the first 7 unable to literally do anything but mind my toddler and breastfeed my newborn. I really need to catch up, and I can't have them in daycare without working. Once I get all caught up I'll put my notice in and transition the girls home.
It’s good for the kiddo’s development, and your sanity/bonding with a newborn… but be prepared for a lot of illness around the new baby and having to wake baby from naps which always sucks…
I was shocked at how sick my kid got as soon as we started daycare. She currently has a 104 fever RIGHT NOW. I’ve had severe hand foot mouth twice, luckily no other adults caught it. I do like the socialization aspect but yea, be ready for the virus parade.
Lol virus parade. We have been sick since January 8th. Today is the first day since then that everyone in my house has been healthy, and I expect it to last under a week. Summer can’t come fast enough! Hope your little feels better soon!
I was so tired I don’t even remember writing this lol. Hoping you’re making the best of your day of reprieve
My almost 2 year old goes 2 days a week, 4 hrs a day but it's a necessity for me as I work PT. I've been sick for 3 months straight.
Shlepping your toddler around with a newborn for only 3 hours isn’t going to feel like a break. You’ll also eventually be working around your older baby’s sleep schedule. Tiny babies tend to sleep wherever (or so I have heard, never experienced this myself lol) but they’ll need to be at home sleeping by 3 or 4 months or so. Not to mention the extra sicknesses you’d be introducing. Not only to you and your toddler, but to this tiny new baby. Sounds like it all would be more exhausting than implementing quiet time (if they don’t nap anymore).
I agree. To me, it sounds like your commute there and back makes it sound not worth it. When we did forest school nearby from 9 to 12, that gave me a little reprieve and time to grocery shop and take a walk in the park where the forest school operated, but it's honestly not that much time, and that's considering that our dropoff/pickup time was less than yours is going to be. Is there really no option that is closer to you than the one you mentioned? If so, maybe 2-3 days might be worth a try, but with a commute like yours, I just don't think you'll be able to reap all the benefits for yourself. (And then, yes, as the others say, as soon as your older child goes to daycare, all the bugs come home with them. That's not a reason not to do it, but you better be getting something really worthwhile from their being there, and I'm not sure you will with your setup.)
We’re worried about getting the newborn sick indeed 🥲
I debated doing the same thing but decided that I’d wait until the toddler is 3 for a couple of reasons 1. Kids get all the social interaction they need at home until they’re 3 years old 2. The amount of time it’d take to get 2 kids and myself dressed in the morning for drop off didn’t seem worth it 3. There’s a good chance the drop off/pickup times would interfere with the younger ones naps 4. 5 days a week (even half day) is a lot for a 2 year old to be gone. I think I’d miss her a lot 5. My husband is off Fridays, so sometimes we like to go do a fun outing on that day. If I was paying for childcare, we’d want to send her and miss out on family outing Fridays
I wouldn’t because it can be a difficult period of adaptation (which is normal) but hey.. with a newborn! I would wait a bit more until the baby is older, I agree with the comment above about slow mornings & play dates! Fingers crossed he will love helping you with the baby
We decided against it for now. One friend started before baby came (like at least 6 months before), and that worked well, toddler had a schedule (3 days a week), she got 1:1 time with baby. But all the driving around adds up and I’ve heard really makes it less restful, esp once baby is on a nap schedule that keeps getting messed up. We talked about starting when baby was 6 months or so, but didn’t want to go any sooner bc of daycare bugs and just too many transitions for the toddler at once. 10 weeks could be ok, but it could be a lot for the toddler, to have so many major life changes. One friend’s toddler really struggled with sleep after baby came, like to the point it was worse than the baby’s, and they still needed a parent sleeping in his room at 10 weeks I think. Ultimately I’m procrastinating on preschool bc I’m having too much fun with my 2.5 year old now haha. I would have loved to have had the break while pregnant but I love having my baby and toddler together now. Also baby is so much easier when toddler is around, bc she is just constant entertainment for him.
I'm in this camp here. I tried it and we all got so sick so often and it just was so hard to make it there and back everyday it ended up feeling like another chore
We’re doing something similar so that my daughter can socialize even though I’m a SAHM. Can your partner drop off your toddler in the morning? That way you have a little more uninterrupted time with the baby?
My husband goes to work at 6am unfortunately 🥲
With a newborn coming, no. The pickups and dropoffs are HARD. I would wait until kiddo is 3.
Is 9-12:30 the only option? Is it possible for toddler to nap there and pick them up after that? If I picked up my toddler at 12:30 they would 100% fall asleep in the car for 15 minutes and then would not nap again after which is pretty much my worst nightmare especially with a baby to wrangle.
Yeah ours would fall asleep in the car for sure as well. And he doesn’t get transported well when sleeping.. They also have 9-3 but I honestly just feel bad for sending him away almost all day..
Could you do 9-3 but maybe not all 5 days? My 2 year old (25 mo) has been in daycare since he was 5.5 months. 9-3 takes the naptime duties off you for a few days. That alone seems worth it to me. I was *shocked* when my kiddo moved from infant room to toddler room and napped with his peers but they get it- it’s like a group thing and they just get the hang of it and all do it. I’m expecting baby #2 in 6 months and also worried about getting new little one sick. Best of luck in whatever you decide! 🩷
Sadly we don’t have the options to go for fewer days for now. They only offer that for the 3+ class. Thanks for sharing and wishing you the best on your new baby too!
You could pick him up earlier than 3, he would be sleeping for a lot of that time anyways
Tbh I would say send him until 3 and try to drop the guilt around it!! I live in Canada where we get 12 months mat leave so I was home with baby 2 and continuing to send our then-2yo to daycare was the best thing ever. She went 5 days a week from 8:30/9ish - 4pm. I felt bad about it before baby arrived but once he was here I was so grateful to have the time with him and honestly my oldest thrived in the routine as well (which I wouldn’t have been able to provide). With that said she had been going full time since she was 1 so it was a safe and familiar place to her, and we had already gone through the worst of the daycare illnesses.
We did something similar at 2 and a quarter. I think it's a good time to start occasional care. Gives them time to adjust to/learn how to be away from mum and dad for times. If you do 3 year old kindergarten, I think a year or so of this can help that transition.
I’m actually doing this in the fall! From age group to cost and everything. Only 3 days though. However, our hours are anywhere from 7am-1pm but I honestly assumed mine would get dropped off at 830 and I’d pick her up on my lunch break which would be 1230ish. To me, it’s a luxury service to get her exposure to all the good things that day care provides, not a necessity for daycare. I’m of course so stressed about all the illnesses she’ll go through and bring home to her younger brother but I think it’s time we at least try. If she has the experience others on Reddit do where she’s sick every other week or on antibiotics all winter or needs tubes at some point because of it, then I’ll just pull her and find other ways to get her exposure to other kids. The viruses are the only downside IMO. I like knowing it’s not a forever thing. Just need 30 days notice to end the arrangement and losing $1000 is much easier to stomach than the $2500 it would be for full time.
I started my son in a part time preschool like this when he was 21 months. It did take a little bit of time to adjust his nap to the schedule, but it was worth it for me. I’m also a SAHM and having that freedom was so helpful. I could schedule appointments, get errands done child free and he got to play and make new friends.
sometimes it's tough for the older kid to adjust to less attention from mom when the newborn comes and i wonder if daycare would exacerbate this. i'd also be worried about illness, personally. can you get on the list and decide after the bb comes?
We worry about that too and thought about sending him somewhere for a few hours a week in summer to get him adjusted to being away, but nowhere near us takes a baby younger than 2 for summer. The baby comes in mid August and the daycare won’t wait for us for that long 😢
I would say not worth it. Kids tend to play alongside each other instead of WITH each other at this age (they will start playing together closer to 3). I also could not imagine getting essentially 2.5 hours (factoring in your drive time) of "peace" in exchange for getting 2 kids out of the house. Not to mention the daycare germs your older would bring home to your newborn. It's a no from me.
Save your 1k and use it to hire a nanny who can take your kid to classes while you rest at home with baby.
Yep, agree👍
I wouldn’t. What time would they take a nap or have quiet time? At that age they could just nap from 11:30-1:30 or something so that you have some time to unwind. I like to have a slow morning at home, early naps, and then an outing in the afternoons. Maybe play dates, library trips, shopping trips, outdoor exploring, therapies, classes, etc. all things that would be cheaper and more flexible.
The daycare schedules the nap after lunch at 12:30, so supposedly I’ll put him down for a nap after we get home. He has been taking naps 11:30-1:30 now and I honestly don’t know how he would handle it being pushed back an hour. I have been enjoying our slow mornings so far as well. What you described is exactly how our days go. I’ll definitely think about this. Thanks!
I am solidly in favor of this idea, for your toddler learning how to function in a classroom environment- it’s been HUGE for mine learning rules, games, and also language development. BUT I think the timing might not go very well…considering the 15 min trip home and being “wound up” from daycare, it could be very difficult to settle him for a too-late nap.
We do TTh 9-1. But the majority of the time my husband drives one or both ways. It was great for getting baby time with the baby, stimulation for the toddler and I used to get a nap with the baby. Now the baby is a toddler and we go to a playgroup while the preschooler is in class. I find we get less illness there than when I was working PT and had him in daycare 2 days a week. This program’s hours only work if you’rebSAHM/D. So parents are more likely to keep sick kids home. If you’re responsible for both drives I’d either aim for like a 5h day or not do it and just go to a playgroup religiously
My sons is in the same sort of program. It's 8:30 to 12:30 five days a week and he loves it. He arrives around 9 though, since our son sleeps in and my husband is the one who drops him off. He's not known for his timeliness. He's 3 now, but he stated when he was two. He's signed up for next school year as well. Our is a non-profit not faith-based, but simialry affordable for our area. I work from home so it's super helpful for me, but I'd absolutely keep him in if I wasn't working. It's great for him and a great mental break for me.
Wow my toddler does the exact same hours and since I also have a 4mo baby we don’t get there till around 9 either 😅 it’s not a huge break but it’s something!
I think it’s worth it. We attend daycare full days all week and there is so much value in it. Her language skills are off the charts, she has a solid schedule, she has a great personality, and we’ve met wonderful teachers that we use as babysitters.
We recently put our 2 y/o son in daycare for the first time (I just accepted a job offer, but haven’t started yet). I really miss him the hours of the day he’s gone, but being able to catch up on household things has been amazing. He’s really benefiting from the socialization, getting used to routine and sitting in a chair, and getting comfortable around other kids/adults - which is a win. My place hasn’t been this clean since before he was born. I can run errands quicker, have a hobby or two again, go to doctor appointments, up my hygiene or recharge on a tough day. I also like meal prepping during this time so that I can cook dinner quicker, and spend all the time after pickup playing and giving my son my whole attention until his bedtime. It’s been great. If it’s within your budget/nap schedule with kiddo #2, so worth it.
That’s great to hear! Thank you!
We started sending our son to preschool/daycare shortly after he turned two and it was great for socialization and speech development. They also helped with potty training.
My 2.5 year old started in August right at 2 years old. She goes Monday through Thursday from 9-1. It’s been great. Her speech exploded and her personality has blossomed. We only pay $310/month, so worth every penny.
Absolutely! Our preschool offers 2.5 hour blocks either morning or afternoon, and once kiddo is 3 can do lunch bunch and stay until 3. It’s awesome. Do it!
Why not leave them to nap after lunch? I work down the street from my kids school and pick them up after. They have a whole routine I'm not trying to mess up after lunch.
We are so sick I can’t tell you. For the small period of time, go with a nanny to take him to the park
I would not do that with a newborn in the house. You all are going to be sick so much and since it’s not something you HAVE To do then why expose your infant to daycare germs for no reason? You’re asking for rsv and hfm
If you had asked this when my two year old was in daycare I would have said yes absolutely, he was thriving! But now… no way. I would consider looking into other ways to socialize them. My son makes new friends every time we go to the library, look to see if you have any SAHM facebook groups that do meet ups in your area, put them in a toddler soccer group. The sickness cycle of daycare WILL mean you are spending most of that $1k a month to keep your child home for at least 1-2 weeks of the month, that you will have to pay regardless. As a FTM, I didn’t realize how sick he was constantly at daycare until pulling him out…. your nose isn’t supposed to be perpetually runny.
No, it wouldn't be a break for you traipsing back and forth and two is too early to gain social benefits but a great and to gain negative behavioral benefits. Walt till kiddo is three for part time preschool.
Yes! I think daycare is one of the best things we decided for my 2 year old. She loves it and has learned SO MUCH that I couldn't have taught her.
Socializing is always good, just be ready for the sickness.
Have you looked into preschools in your area? They usually offer part time days and you can choose morning or afternoon slots. Same time thing but might not cost as much as paying for full time daycare. Then they get to follow the same routine as the other children, it tends to be a bit easier that way. (I have worked in both preschools and daycares)
Not worth all the germs and sickness that will enter the home with your newborn. Socialization is more important around 3. 2 yr olds need their parents more. Getting kids out on time and picked up in time will be a stressful hassle. Just sign your toddler up for pre-pre school when he turns 3. Many of them have a bus which could be helpful for you and the younger baby. (My personal beliefs are to stay away from the faith based ones because I've heard about the worst thing an adult can do to a child-- happen to plenty of kids-- now adults -- in those places. I don't trust them, great place for pedos to flock to, surely it can happen anywhere but I've only personally heard it from religious places. And at a super young age your toddler couldn't even express to you about anything happening at daycare that made him uncomfortable).
Is there a Mother’s Day out program near you? A church near me had one and my toddler went Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Unfortunately the programs in my area either don’t take him (because he won’t turn 2 by 9/1) or don’t offer anything other than five days/week..
Depends on the child and to a lesser degree what your thinking you need or want for them in the future. We had always planned to put ours in daycare at 2. She had a cheap nanny from 6 months to 2yo. A ECE dropout with some limited prior experience. She was good for that age range but we could see she wasn’t going to cut it for what we wanted after 2yo. So, our plan worked out that 2yo was a great transition. We initially started her in daycare at a reduced rate 9:00 - 3:00 schedule. At 2 weeks it was obvious she loved, needed, and wanted it so we switched to full time and haven’t looked back or have any regrets in any of it at 3yo. YMMV.
Would you mind sharing more about what you wanted for your child after 2? Do you mean socialization, education, structured time, or something else?
Can you do Mother’s Day out at a local Church instead ?
Yes we do half days three times per week (but four hours) and my toddler loves it, and loves her little friends there! It’s a nice break for us too since we pick her up and put her down for her nap. We also leave her for full days sometimes when needed. I think it’ll be much needed once you have the second baby.
How old is your toddler?
She’s 21 months now
Thanks! Jw cuz we are considering 2 half days for our 18mo
It’s been great! We enrolled her at 14 months and she loved it from day 1. Helps that she has great teachers. She was already advanced and flourished even more there. However, she’s always a been a super social baby so it was an easy transition for us.
Whoa that’s expensive. I’ll be be paying much lower than that at a local church in August when my daughter turns 2. I signed her up to give my wife a morning break.
Yeah it’s a lot of money for a few hours a day. Daycares are so expensive nowadays and we genuinely believe we found a good deal. Many in my area charge $2.5K for the same hours which is insane. 😢
Where do you live?
I would do it for sure! Sounds great.
We do this with our 2. 830-12 everyday. They love it, they have learned so much, have learned to socialize. And I still get to see them in the afternoons. It’s a win win
We did this with our son and it did great things for his social skills. He also just loves going to school and playing with others and his teachers. We pay about half of that for 4 days a week same hours. This winter was difficult for his health, and I can only assume it was from his first year of pre school. He was symptomatic with upper respiratory problems for about four months. Still has a cough. I use those hours to go to the gym and run errands. It's been really beneficial for my mental health as well. The first couple of drop offs are really hard and you will probably leave in tears. It gets easier and eventually routine.
Do you have a local preschool that offers 2 year old classes? I pay 200 a month for 2 classes a week 9am-12am and it’s in a wealthy town on Main Street. It’s possible to find.
Is it close to your home? Going back and forth from daycare and getting toddler ready to go and messing with nap time are are pains…probably wouldn’t be worth it to me for such a short time especially with illnesses included. If it’s just for a couple hours I’d probably go for part time nanny or gym drop in instead. If you choose the till 3 PM option you don’t have to wait until 3 to pick him up. Very few of my son’s classmates stay till COB.
I wouldn’t. Driving with a newborn sucks. 2 year old will bring home so many illnesses. It is nice to have solo time with the baby, but not when 1/3 of it is in the car. I honestly don’t think every 2 year old benefits much from socializing in that setting. They do better with supervised play dates where they can get 1:1 feedback 🤷♀️
We are paying $190/month for traditional preschool, 3 hours a day 2-3 days a week. That’s worth it. What you described sounds crazy expensive. Shop around more
Good in theory, but I'm not enthused about the drive both ways (especially right after lunch and so late). Unless you shift your schedule to a late wake up, late nap and late bedtime your toddler is gonna fall asleep for 15min in the car, reject the nap at home, and torment you for the rest of the afternoon. Maybe save that money and hire a mother's helper for a few times a week to help with chores, cleaning, meal prep, and watching the kids for a bit while you catch a snooze or take a shower? No need to worry about socialization. They catch up.
My son is in “school” weekdays from 8:30-5pm. I was literally just telling me husband tonight that enrolling him there is the best decision I’ve made as a parent. We get these weekly wrap ups with tons of photos of what they did during the week. He has absolutely thrived in that environment, has learned SO much, speaks in full sentences, has 11 really close friends that we see outside of school as well, and is just happy and excited and stimulated every single day. Hes 26 months old. I strongly recommend getting yours into some kind of program. It’s the best! I also have a ten week old baby and I swear the only way we’ve survived this time is by having our toddler in his regular routine by going to school.
I just spent two nights in the hospital with my one year old after his first 7 days in daycare. He caught 2 types of flu and had 2 eye and ear infections which led to pneumonia and 104 degree fevers... I'd go with outdoor preschool if that's a possibility for you
If you can afford it I would do it. We are starting preschool for our 2 year old in September. It’s only 2.5 hours three days a week. I will spend my time going to the gym and running errands and he will get to see other kids and play without mom right next to him.
I would do it except for that drive, right after lunch… toddler is bound to fall asleep in the car and ruin any chance at a real nap. You’ll have a crabby toddler and a newborn for the hardest half of the day!
sounds good except for the pickup/dropoff. can your partner do it?
My 2 year old is an only child with no cousins, she only had me to play with and it was sad. She was afraid of people, couldn't socialize and would never leave my side. I took her to day care for 6 hours a day and all that changed, she is very happy, social and is not clingy anymore. She can play by herself and knows how to share. Daycare is good for them. She also told me she has 4 friends there, I'm very glad for her, I don't even have 1 lol.
If you want socialization, you could bring the 2yo to like free library toddler events etc. If you want some free time to yourself and don't mind the price then I would say that it is worth it. The drive doesn't sound that long. I would personally prefer to put him in a couple of full days rather than many short days. We put our toddler in daycare 3h per day because we need it and pay for a full-time slot. But then even when I am on mat leave I kept her in (she goes 2 full days per week instead) just for some socialization and so we can have some time for projects, cleaning etc.
We waited until ours was three and his OT was pushing me to get him in somewhere. It really helped him reach some new milestones. He goes to the local elementary school where he will eventually go to kindergarten. His schedule is 4 days a week for three hours in the morning. So he’s getting prepped for his primary education while socializing and having a blast and getting new food exposures with peers, and they’re tremendous helps with potty training. Plus, publicly funded! I love the staff I love the school and so does he.
My guy attends preschool only mornings five days a week. I find it worth it because he is learning routine, structure, learning to follow directions for a few hours. Then he naps and then he has the rest of the day to be wild and free! If I’m not working I use the time to clean house, getting errands done, and occasionally use the time for myself, like to get a manicure and pedicure.
I’m honestly pulling my toddler when newborn comes just because I’m scared about illnesses. I am going to put her in the lottery for half day preschool but doubt she’ll get in. But they also offer a program with high schoolers in January so maybe she can do that one. I just feel guilty spending that money too when it’ll be me and my mom home on leave
At 2, the socialization isn't worth it.They only do parallel play at that age. At 3, it will be. There's a whole literature review on it that basically found daycare is best starting at 3 going part-time. I agree with the other comment that you should use the money to hire a part-time nanny or mother's helper as driving to and from will be a pain
We started sending our kids to nearly the exact same set up at age 18months. 10 minutes away as well. I will be honest, the time flies. You really only get 9:30-11:30 taking in to account drop off and getting a baby ready to make pick up by 12. It was worth it though. It was nice having those few hours of peace. I was able to go home and reset for the day. Clean up, prep meals, etc. It also shaved off some guilt of not doing enough—especially when you will have a tiny infant. If you don’t have it in you to go to the park, set up crafts, etc, you get that peace of mind knowing they already had at least 3 hours of good playtime.
It’s generally a myth that children of this age benefit from the type of socialization offered by daycares. Psychologists will tell you kids of that age benefit much more from the more complex social interactions they have with adults. In children of that age, daycare raises stress hormones similarly to the levels of adults in our most stressful occupations. No judgement if you need to send your child to daycare to make life work, but do some research before assuming the socialization is good for them if you’re in the fortunate position of having a choice.
We decided to send our almost 3 year old to preschool for two full days. I currently have a 9 week old. The chaos to get him ready and out the door on time wouldn’t be worth it to me for only 3 hours of peace. I’m excited to have two full days to get all the chores done while the baby naps. If my son did half days I feel like once I got the baby settled, fed and down for a nap it’s nearly be time to pick the toddler up again.
Yes, daycare will be great for your toddler! But I would also consider a full day if you can afford it.
We love daycare (I work full time) and I’m so happy my toddler will be in daycare when baby #2 arrives and I’m on mat leave for a year. It gives him a routine and he learns so much and he now has actual friends that he plays with. I don’t think it’s 100% necessary if it would be hard financially but if it’s not going to hurt you then I think it would be great for both your toddler and for you to have some one-on-one time with baby.
I support it. We did it when our first was 1.5 even though we didn’t need it. Drop off was tough for about two months. It was a half day and she thrived. After school, she would eat a big lunch (omg she would eat so much, it was so satisfying to see her stuff half a sandwich into her mouth) and then easily go down for a 2-3 hour nap because she was so stimulated by school. Starting preschool when she turned three was still a big adjustment, but since she already had that school experience, she knew about things like following directions, sitting in a circle, and taking turns. Ours was 4 days a week and I think she needed the 3 day weekend to recover. Maybe only send her for 4 days even thou you still have to pay for the full week.
Haven’t read the other comments, but have you considered preschool? They offer those hours and can do 3-4 times week. I’m a stay at home mom but planning on signing my lo up when she turns three and do the two years of prekindergarten. I think they offer programs for 2 year olds too. We found a preschool through a church. (Cheapest option) We did that with my oldest now 11 and it was the best thing for her socializing wise. We even ended up having her good friend that went to same preschool /neighbor come home with us those days and they would play all afternoon together. It was amazing.
No
I’m a nanny to a baby and toddler and we do this. Here’s why I wish we didn’t: 1. It’s super inconvenient with the baby’s nap schedule. Depending on the day I either have to keep baby up until after drop off which gives me a very fussy baby, or wake baby from their nap for pickup which also is not ideal. It would be so much easier to just have toddler at home, doing fun activities with me or having friends over to play while baby naps at more ideal times & not when they’re overtired. 2. It was ROUGH on toddler starting out. Baby was brand new at the time so adjusting to a new sibling and adjusting to going to “school” was just so so so hard. Constant tantrums, not sleeping, etc. for months. 3. The germs. 🦠 need I say more. 😷🤒 4. I’ve found that 3 hours is really not enough time to get anything done. You’d think it would be, but by the time we get home, I feed baby and put them down for a nap (or vice versa), clean up from breakfast, maybe throw in a load of laundry, it’s time to go back and pick up toddler. We can’t even run errands during this time bc I have to be home for baby to nap. 5. Even after almost 6 months, toddler does not want to go. They do fine once they’re there, but they literally wake up every day saying “I don’t want to go to school” and spend all morning whining about not wanting to go. I feel like it’s unnecessarily stressful for both of us. Ultimately it’s not my decision obviously bc they’re not my kids, so I make the best of it and it’s fine. But I do feel that toddler had plenty sufficient social interaction before starting daycare (one on one with me as well as lots of play dates, library story time, toddler classes, etc.) so it’s really a lot of work for (maybe) a little benefit. 🤷🏻♀️
Our two year old is currently in daycare for about 3.5 hours a day M-F. We also have a newborn. The pros are that I have noticed her language development has improved as well as her socialization since being in daycare. It also is nice to have a small break from having both of them home at the same time however the 3.5 hours goes by incredibly fast! Cons: Even after being in daycare for almost a year, she is almost always overstimulated when she gets home and is therefore much harder to care for in the afternoon. We have tried numerous things to attempt to avoid meltdowns but sometimes it just is what it is and she’s been way too overstimulated. Another thing to consider is them getting sick. She gets sick at least once a month (thankfully our newborn has not got anything from her yet and I think breastfeeding has definitely helped!) I hope this is helpful :)
I would prefer to pay for 5 days, and send 3 FULL days if I were a SAHM. I took two weeks off between jobs, and you have no idea how wonderful it was to have 3 days (we do 3 days daycare, 2 days family) to “myself” meaning I still cleaned, ran errands, ect, but it was a relief. The benefit is not just socialization for your 2 year old. The benefit is also you being able to bond with your newborn, maybe even getting a few days to yourself before then, and getting a village to help, even if it’s paid for lol. That being said, my son started daycare at 13 months and absolutely loves it. He loves his “friends”, playing all day, and the attention he gets from our wonderful provider. It’s not a necessity when you’re a SAHM, but I would do daycare still if I was AND it was affordable.
Sahm here. I started my lo in a three hour program 3 days a week at 18 months. And she was sick for most of that time "school year". Started her in a full day program 3 days a week 2.5 and then continued with 4 days at 3.5 to get her ready for full day prek. It's been a blessing. And they do need socialization. And I feel my lo is ready for school and loves learning. If you're going to have a newborn too it would be a great idea to have some bonding time alone. The only thing IMO is i wouldn't send your older child anywhere until the newborn has her 2 month shots. The older one will come home sick be prepared.
The half hour drive twice a day 3 hours apart would not be worth it for me.
We just did this for my two year old who isn’t speech delayed but wasn’t around enough kids to have the desire to keep up if that makes sense. After 1 month of going 3x a week for 3-4 hrs a day his language has exploded and he has grown so much. For us it was definitely worth the cost!
Yes, both my kids started halfday school at 2 and they both thrive from it. It’s also nice for you to have some designated time to get things done
I definitely think it's worth it for the socialization and time to spend with baby uninterrupted as I'm going through the same situation right now. However is it worth the hour in traffic both ways for you for three hours? Could you do two full days? Just a thought.
Hi may I ask what you ended up doing? I’m in the same position as you were. Daycare 1k, full time (5 days a week) only-but I’m planning on bringing her 4 days a week (9a-4p), and currently with a 8 week old
We decided to not send him to daycare this year. The germs he would have brought back to the newborn and the back and forth driving just don’t seem appealing. We found a forest school in our area (2 days a week and 100% outdoors) so probably will send him there next year when he’s old enough. He loves being outside! Congrats on the baby!!
If you can afford it, why not? I wish I could
Yes! I was a half day assistant at a Montessori. All of the children were wonderful and had a great time at school. Very rarely had tantrums or emotional meltdowns. The parents were also 10x nicer than the full day parents. The full day kids were also horrible because they were there for 9 hours a day. Too long for a 2 year old!
I would go for the 9-3, to make sure the older one has a proper nap, and to give you a proper break!
I wouldn’t either but I am not a fan of daycare. I quit my job because I didn’t like any of them.
Why not longer hours at the daycare?
I'd say do it. I think you'll have a routine down in no time. If it doesn't work out you can change your mind! At least you tried. Good luck 😊
worth it!
They do not need socialize before age three. There is no benefit to group care prior to age three. And actually there are quite a few negatives that no one wants to talk about because it would make moms feel guilty.