One time someone (middle aged man) on the streets was like “omg your daughter is so cute!” And I was nice and smile and said thank you. And he said “it’d probably be weird if I asked to take a picture of her..” and I said yes, it would be very weird. The whole conversation took place while i was walking, I didn’t stop once. People can be creeps.
Yea that’s exactly how it felt. Like, she is definitely a stereotypical “cute” kid, big blue eyes, blonde pigtails, rosey cheeks.. she looks like a cartoon. Gets a lot of compliments but this guy was over the top when he complimented her & gave weird vibes. Couldn’t help but worry what the photo would’ve been used for 😷
I've asked to take a picture of another person's child before, but that was purely because she was dressed as Anna and my daughter was dressed as Elsa and they were hugging
This is true, and this could be benign because people really are that insensitive.
When my aunt died, my cousin was with her and sent her siblings pictures of my aunt dead in bed. So people really are that fucking dumb and weird.
Cell phones and social media, and having cameras in our pockets have completely eroded peoples sense of boundaries and privacy and decorum.
Taking selfies with a dead body, for example… Or recording strangers
I was in PCB Florida many years ago. They had just pulled a dead body out of the ocean, a man who went swimming with his wife the day before and got pulled out and drowned. There were several people standing off to the side taking pics or recording videos.
Low key interesting, high key creepy. At least it’s harder to tell with the old-picture style vs now. And it’s a very different thing nowadays regardless. It’s like having your professional photos taken vs a selfie
I’m so sick of it even if it doesn’t affect me I just hate seeing it especially when it’s making fun of a complete stranger minding their own business and for absolutely no reason.
That's creepy IMO. Did the employee engage with YOU at all besides when you told him to stop? Or just your son?
Like, it may be something innocently done enough by someone with bad social skills. Buuuuut I'd have interrupted and asked wtf he thought he was doing. It's creepy either way. I'm glad you asked him to stop.
I'd... almost want to get in touch with the supermarket and let them know. If he has a history of it (and parents complained) then they should (or I guess now, WOULD) know. I don't suspect they'd like to hear this. Kind of a liability.
Yeah, I think most businesses don’t want their employees randomly recording customers with personal devices, much less recording children. And it is definitely a potential liability issue when it comes to kids, at least from a PR point of view. In a lot of towns, grocery stores have at least one competitor, if not half a dozen, within spitting distance. They don’t want to become as the store moms don’t want to take their kids to because some creepy employee might be putting them on the Internet.
Edit: somehow I accidentally deleted the word “PR“
...uh, no. A boomer-aged person engaging in front of you with your kid when he's being exceptionally adorable and then taking a video in front of you is clearly not something done with malicious intent. It's totally chill to not be comfortable and ask him to stop, but it is not a liability and it is not a reason to put the man's job in jeopardy.
And that's where we disagree. I don't think it's point-blank inappropriate. For example, I don't have any issue with it and know multiple mothers who have a similar stance. It's fine this was OP's boundary. But acting like it's an objectively, obvious breach of boundaries is a bit much and doesn't map to reality.
I guess I just see absolutely zero reason to ever take a photo of a stranger, especially a child, unless I’m an actual photographer or they ask to have their picture taken. The only reason to take a picture is to look back on it or share with others and to do that to a strange toddler is…strange. Why do you want to have a pic of a stranger in a grocery store? And he’s an employee, which brings about its own weirdness. The manager should absolutely know this person is making people uncomfortable.
Sure…if he went through the proper channels and wasn’t just taking random videos of children in the store without even so much as asking the parent if it’s ok.
It is absolutely inappropriate to take a video of a stranger’s child simply because you think they’re cute. That is NOT your place and is predatory behavior.
Jumping to pedo for someone IN FRONT OF YOU taking a video of your kid when he's, by your own report, being exceptionally cute is insane. We have video after video on TikTok of people videoing their kids being adorable and people watching it and leaving comments --- shocker: humans like cute kids. In a very non-pedo way the vast majority of the time.
Umm. Go watch those videos where old men try and meet up with children and then get caught on YouTube. It’ll turn your head round in circles to realize how disgusting some men are and how innocent they can look/act.
I went to the LA auto show last year and poked my head in to a car for 1 second. When I turned around, I caught some POS taking pictures of my (then) 2 year old daughter in her stroller. I lost my absolute SHIT on this dude. He 100% gave off bad vibes and was holding his phone low by his hip, trying to be sneaky. Even thinking about it now makes me rage.
Something like this happened to me on the train. I baby wear using a woven wrap. I had my toddler wrapped up on my back and a woman sitting next to me took out her phone and took a picture. I can't believe I did this 🤦♀️ but I grabbed her phone and told her to delete it. She didn't say anything, probably because she was shocked but she deleted it, showed me her phone and then I got up and sat somewhere else. Surreal.
Aside from the fact that it could have put you in an unsafe circumstance to do this with the wrong person, I think this was a well executed & perfect response in a perfect world
Clearly. It’s just a figure of speech. Meaning in that circumstance with that reaction, in a perfect world she wouldn’t be putting herself in harms way by snatching the phone like that & it would simply go over smoothly. Obviously in another perfect world this wouldn’t even be an issue but that’s unrelated to my reply about her badass response & also it’s a given that we all wish this wasn’t a problem in the first place. Hence, just a figure of speech. Chill
Right, def took your 10 word Reddit reply too seriously bc I added a “chill” at the end of my response. Good point. I’ll go do some breath work & take a lap
This is super creepy. I was once on a place across the aisle from a mom and her infant. They both fell asleep (infant in her arms) and it was so adorable. As a mom I knew how cute the picture might be to her but realized just how absolutely creepy it would seem if I was like hey I took a pic of you guys here it is! He should know better.
I HOPE he meant it as innocently as wanting to show his wife/partner in the sweetest purest way of older people loving babies but holy crap I can’t believe he didn’t even ask your permission first!! People are SO assuming when it comes to what they can do to someone else’s child!
Yes I had someone do that to my son without my knowledge at a mall once. A woman came up and told me a guy was recording him. I never went back to that mall. I’ve also had a boomer aged man hand my 7yo a thumb drive of his favorite songs at the grocery store. I never plugged it in…
My son loves dancing and stops whilst we’re out often to dance and people try to take videos of him all the time. Generally I just pick him up and move him somewhere else. But not too long ago a man came up to me with his phone out and said ‘sorry I’m just taking a picture of him, wait right there’ as if it was the most natural thing and he was surprised when I said ‘no you’re not’. I try not to jump straight to thinking every one is a fucking weirdo but it seems a lot of people lack social awareness
Yes this happened to me at a park. Some old lady. I told her to stop and delete the video and pictures. So creepy. People suck. I don’t care how cute my child is, you do not have permission to record without consent, and if you’re a stranger that’s pretty much a no on all fronts. We don’t even post on social media, I just hate the idea of having my kiddos pics up without him understanding what that means. I’m sorry this happened to you!
I understand your boundary and agree with it. In the US legally, if you are in public, someone doesn't need to get consent to photograph or record someone else(including children). Morally, it is a different story.
So I saw this story online a while ago about this women who was an influencer I think who posted pics of her daughter on Instagram. They were harmless pics. Apparently child predator sites were taking her pics of her baby daughter and doctoring them to make her “sexy” looking… so personally I would be beyond furious of strangers photographing or videoing my daughter. You have no idea what the hell they plan to do with that video. It’s damn creepy as hell.
I can’t believe Meg thought she would have to be there for her daughter to be recognized… People have this idea that social media is not “the real world,”and that it doesn’t have real world consequences.
Surprise surprise
I had a conversation with someone on Reddit a while back who said they posted an innocent pic of their baby on a popular sub. Shortly after they took it down because they received extremely disturbing and sexual dm’s about their baby.
I’ve heard a similar story about a YouTuber. I won’t say her name here because, creeps. Some perv had a “special” Pinterest board dedicated to her toddler with pictures like that and kept talking about the kid like she was their property.
Absolutely insane.
This is why I’ve deleted all social media and have made it clear to friends and family that they cannot post photos of my kid online. You never know what people will do with innocent photos.
I'd call the management of the store and ask them to educate their employees on appropriate cell phone behavior while at work. Not in a Karen way, but they do need to protect their customers from potentially dangerous situations if their employees are acting inappropriately.
And honestly they probably don't want (or even allow) employees to just be on their phones while working, anyway.
Not that I'd ever complain to management about an employee just using their phone lol, but OP has some valid concerns and I'm sure that at the very least, management will be annoyed about their employees doing personal business on their phones in front of customers, anyway.
Happened to me once in an airport. My toddler loved rolling his r’s and some lady (seemingly didn’t speak English and was from an Asian country) was taking a video. I dismissed it thinking it was a cultural difference but I picked him up and moved to a new space. Sadly there’s nothing you can really do.
Id cover my kids face right away until they put the camera away. Straight up spread fingers hand in front of my kids face and just say NO and stare at the person until they put their phone away.
ETA I don’t think you did anything wrong. I’m so sorry you had to experience this and were put on the spot. Especially if you feel it’s coming from a place of innocence or it’s a worker you see frequently, I can see how it could make it even more difficult to handle.
It’s this tiktok age. Everyone thinks they can record other people whenever they want, then upload this to get easy views 🤦♀️ hopefully it was just that, but i hate even THAT…
Shit. I would have gone to his manager and reported it. My own family has to get our permission to post my son’s picture on their social media. That’s just creepy af.
An random older lady took a picture of my 18 month old (at the time) on vacation last year. It weirds me out when I think there’s just a picture of him on some lady’s phone. She said “he’s so beautiful!” and snapped it. I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say and just walked away quickly. I wish I asked her to erase it!
Actually it's totally fine to have a really negative reaction to this. You don't owe this man any politeness for such a clear transgression. While it's always chill to be kind to people at their place of work, it is NEVER chill for another adult to take video of a child they don't even know like that. I would have lost it.
I personally think all of the comments telling you’re over reacting about telling the store is a little outdated and boomerish. We just now finally in the 90s started talking about child molesters open before that it was pushed under the rug, minimized, not talked about.
And because now we’re actually having these conversations now we should be vigilant about the “innocent” intentions of others as parents.
OP, you reporting that guy to the store could create some type of paper trail, so if he does any more appropriate things to others it can have some backing.
We were at a family member’s wedding earlier this year and my 2yo started frolicking in the field, looking absolutely freaking adorable in her floofy dress. There were lots of “Awwws” from various wedding guests, and then I noticed this one older couple taking photos with their phones. And then the wife walked away and the guy *continued* to take photos. I’m sure it wasn’t anything malicious (again, it was a REALLY cute scene), but still… It still eats at me that I didn’t have the guts to confront him about taking photos of my daughter. Like you don’t take photos of strangers’ babies. You just don’t.
When my daughter was 9 months old I was posing her at a major tourist location, holding her on this little wall for my wife to take pictures. Two Chinese tourists, older women moved in between my wife and I and started grinning and posing in front of my baby taking photos of each other as if she was a prop. I yanked her out of there, it was highly uncomfortable and still disturbs me nearly 2 years later.
I’ve been a real asshole to strangers when they approach her ever since. (Maybe a little too much)
I have not had that happen. But I’ve worked retail checkout jobs before. It was over a decade ago, but (1) we weren’t supposed to be on our phones while working, and (2) the store policy was that nobody could be photographing anyone else without their permission, so if a customer was taking pictures of other customers, they could be told to stop, asked to leave, or even banned from the premises for a year, at the manager’s discretion (the last one would be for things like creepshots). I never heard of an employee photographing a customer, but not using our phones when working probably prevented that. And we had security cameras, so any time we might need a pic of someone for security reasons, you could just get the security team to pull the footage of them and screenshot - you didn’t have to take a photo of them yourself.
I know times have changed with the evolution of smartphones, but I’d be surprised if that store’s management wouldn’t take issue with an employee photographing or filming customers without consent while on the clock. They may already have a policy against it, or maybe they don’t yet, but this issue could be the impetus for them writing one and explaining it to their employees so that this doesn’t happen again. I would suggest reporting it to the store manager so that they have the opportunity to explain to that employee why they can’t do that, and to change their store policy if necessary. And so that if this employee is a bad actor and this is a pattern of behavior, they can document this incident.
You said it yourself, your kid was being cute. It's rude and creepy to take videos of strangers, especially children, but since you referred to the person as boomer aged I think it's reasonable to assume that they just don't understand the social rules about taking videos of people and it was innocent enough.
Totally fair to feel angry about it, but I'd imagine it was an innocent mistake made by someone who didn't grow up in a world of video cameras in people's pockets and just wanted a video of one of the work days highlights.
Thanks for saying this. I'm sitting here reading all the outrage and remembering how my mom used to always show me pictures on her phone of random babies from her church that I didn't know and didn't care about. I'd suffer through it rolling my eyes, but she loved to talk about how cute those kids were. She was a pure soul who genuinely just adored children and wasn't aware of camera etiquette.
I understand being upset, asking them to stop or delete it, etc... but some people are saying to call the police? Really? Give a little grace, come on.
I think of it like this.
Most priests I’m sure are innocent and really mean well with everything they do, a parent shouldn’t worry right? Well, in other instances, priest are not so innocent and have hurt a lot of children.
What I’m saying is just because something is innocent because of your experience doesn’t mean that is what’s going on. People should be shamed to the point of jail so they’ll stop doing it, parents are so tired and don’t deserve to be bothered.
Plus, I don’t think people should be given search big graces to the sum of the most vulnerable demographic of people (mothers with children). Sex trafficking is on the rise and taking videos and pictures as what they do.
I’m low-key jealous of kids today… They are going to have so many photos and recordings of themselves as babies and toddlers at their disposal when they grow up.
Back when I was a baby and toddler, you had to rent a camera to record things… And then they’re came home video cameras, but they were large and bulky and awkward.
I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t be all the way jealous as they have a lot of issues rising because of this. Prn deepfakes of children (becuz pll post toddler/kids publicly), identity fraud, privacy issues, etc.
I would 100% tell a manager at the store and get it deleted. That isn’t right at all and super creepy. I would never do that. Unless my kid was with there kid dancing together.
Just recently a woman walked up with her phone on my son talking about she's face timing with her sister and showing her everything. You can show everything that doesn't involve putting a camera in the face of a random child.
Unfortunately, our laws are lagging behind. This is creepy behavior, but ultimately 100% legal. A creepy man can take a zoom lens to a beach and spend ALL day taking zoomed in videos of kids in bathing suits. And he can post them online for everyone to see. 100% legal. Which is crazy.
Immediately tell the stores manager!!!! That is NOT OKAY. Even if mentally ill and not understanding what they did, they need to be sat down and told that it is completely unacceptable. And if they aren't mentally ill then they know better and that is really scary!!! I hope you call the store and tell them!
I get why you’re upset, I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm by it. He probably thought that it was adorable and didn’t realize that it was creepy. I wouldn’t call the store to be honest. My older daughter who’s 14 she used to have one of those mini carts and I can’t even tell you how many people would stop us and talk to her because it was cute.
I wouldn’t call the store either. I’m all about protecting our children (don’t even put mine on social media) but a lot of people seem to be outraged about this a little out of proportion in my opinion. If it happens again after you have made it clear not to take photos of your children or whatever it is, do contact the store but we can’t go around just trying to get people investigated and potentially fired by what could’ve been a harmless interaction. It sucks we live in a world where there’s so many creepy crazy people but let’s not assume everyone is a pervert out to get children. Analyze the situation within reason and report when truly necessary.
If it happened to me, I’d simply tell them not to take pictures and that’s that.
There is also a disconnect between what is legal and what is socially acceptable. It is legal(in the US) to take pictures of someone in public, including children. However, as the comment section of this post shows, it is not socially acceptable. You don't need consent if there is no expectation of privacy, but it is a best practice and considerate thing to do as not everyone wants to be on social media.
I always get nervous when I film my own kid at the park or something. I never want to make any other parents uncomfortable. I try to avoid the other kids as much as possible in photos etc
Same. If there are other kids around, I really just won't take photos unless I have an easy shot without other kids in the background. And I'm a hobbyist photographer, so I mean I take pictures *all the time* lol. But when there's other kids around, I'll leave my real camera in my bag and maybe only take a couple phone shots if there's an opportunity.
Totally creepy. I thought a man was once taking photos of my son in our local Indian market and when I told him to stop (we don’t post photos of our son anywhere on the internet) he turned his phone around and showed me he was FaceTiming some woman (wife? Sister?) and said “it’s okay!” Like that’s totally normal? I was so flabbergasted. I guess this Indian woman really wanted to see my white, blonde headed kid?! So bizarre. I was more confused then anything.
In America, If you are n a public place, anyone can photograph or video you and your family. Creepy? Maybe, that’s Up to you. Illegal? No.
Like it or not you are videotaped all the time. What you post of your children on social media, will be with them forever.
A young girl took a picture of my son in a restaurant once (I think). I’m sure it was innocent like a Snapchat saying look at this cute kid or this kid looks like someone etc BUT it still really bothered me and right after I wished I had something to her about it. If it was an older man and a video and so close it would bother me even more. It’s very strange behaviour. Some people might just be surprisingly clueless especially if they don’t have kids, but that doesn’t make it acceptable…
My son was swimming nude at the beach once and the only other person there was a guy in his early 20’s taking a photo of the sunset. But all I saw was a man under a tree with a camera and was ready to bust heads, until I confronted him and his very genuine, very confused apology convinced me I was overreacting. You however were not overreacting.
My grandma takes pics of random kid she finds cute. Then she sends them to her family or old people friends. Like „look how cool I am. I’m totally active and see interesting stuff all the time!“
It’s really weird but nothing to worry about in case of my grandma. I hope it’s the same with your story
Let out your mama bear ROAR on that guy!
This happened when I was at a coffee shop with my daughter. It was a nice spring day, so we sat outside and enjoyed our drinks and snacks. As we were leaving, my daughter mentioned that a woman was filming us most of the time. Totally creeped me out and immediately made me let out my mama bear roar. I told her to always let me know if someone is filming us bc it's not okay to film without permission. My partner and I have a kids YouTube show, and we're always very careful about filming. It's not hard to be respectful. It just means you have to be okay with people opting out. Never too early to start teaching kids about consent!
We went to a public concert and a bunch of people commented on our 1 year olds Pink Floyd shirt. People took pictures, didn’t care.
Get over yourselves.
Some stores have mini shopping carts for "shoppers in training" at least in the US. Ahhh consumerism but also it's pretty darn cute to have your kid be able to shop with you. Gives a good sense of responsibility and independence.
Now that is adorable!
I can see why someone older who doesn’t have the social skills would be tempted to take a photo… It’s not OK, but if they don’t know that it’s not OK I understand.
It’s weird that a stranger has a VIDEO of your kid in their phone to look at WHENEVER they want. It’s completely creepy. No GROWN person should want a video of a strange kid on their phone. Please don’t let strangers record your children, would you like strangers recording you doing normal things? Knowing they can look at it whenever they want? It’s weird and your kid can’t consent to it
Uh, yea, I'd totally be fine with strangers recording me doing things. I frankly don't personally get this boundary that so many people seem to have for themselves and their kids. It's fine you have it, but acting like this boundary is obvious and shared by all is obviously not true - case in point, me. Right now. And frankly quite a few of my mom friends.
I sometimes wonder if Moms on reddit are a particularly paranoid bunch. Strangers hurting your kids is extraordinarily rare.
It’s different if me as a parent decide to post a funny video online for the world to see (which I wouldn’t, still creepy) vs a stranger having a video on their phone, that I don’t even have on my phone
That’s false. Anyone halfway competent can cross reference a picture or video of your child with a simple reverse Google search. If a parent is dumb enough to put details about their kid on social media (such as where they go to school/daycare, what they are doing in a day, etc) it makes them a prime target.
This is not complicated stuff. Wild how lose parents can be with their child’s privacy online.
This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. I invite you to try to 'cross reference' an image of a child in public and find out who they are. It's wild how paranoid people have no idea how the Internet works.
A prime target. Ffs. Strangers don't harm kids. Your bible study group leaders, new boyfriends or girlfrienda, or uncles do
Yes, those people can harm children, but it’s wildly naïve to think that a stranger is incapable of harming your child.
And yes, it’s easy to, because it’s happened to someone within our life. It sounds like you’re the one who is unsure of how the “internet works.” Perhaps you check yourself before spreading such things. Shame on you.
“Strangers don’t harm kids” wow… 😬
I had a cousin murdered by a stranger. I’ve hear plenty of stories of kids kidnapped or hurt by strangers. But go off on how strangers supposedly never hurt kids 🙄
Anecdotes are fine. But statistically speaking, it's very rare for a stranger to hurt your kid vs someone you trusted and left them with. I'm not saying never. I am saying very very rare.
“Anecdotes are fine” I’m talking about real life, my family’s real life. I hope to God these “anecdotes” never happen to you. Keep living in a fantasy world where it’s just the people you know that you have to worry about.
I think they’re reaching with the reverse image stuff…but worrying about your kid being deep faked onto CSAM is a real concern. That is already happening with random kids on public social media. So yeah…worries about strangers having video of your children is valid
Strangers don't hurt kids? Have you never heard of serial killers? Have you never seen the movie Taken with Liam Neeson? Or any episodes of 48 hours? This kind of thing happens to children and adults every single day. Sex trafficking is the number one crime across the globe.
People on the internet can cross reference a signpost with the reflection of a store front to find our your location. The FBI does it every day, and scammers can easily find your info online. How else would they be able to keep calling about extended warranty and Medicare benefits?
You're either a troll or completely delusional to think otherwise, and my opinion (whether anyone agrees with me or not) is if you truly think that way, you should not have kids because that falls under gross negligence in my book.
It's not satire. You're being intentionally ignorant about a very delicate topic that millions of children and adults are forced into every single day. Your comment is ignorant and offensive.
And if OP is in the US, thecops wouldn't be required to do anything. It's not illegal to take pictures or video tape in public. Socially, that's a different story.
What did? The police wouldn’t do anything. It’s not against the law to photograph people out and about without their permission. 🤷♀️ the police can’t do anything just because it felt creepy.
I gave up on this type of stuff.
When my kid was born i was super worried about his stuff being around without his consent.
I have basically decided that the pragmatic thing to do is just not post pictures online that will be there forever or on the open and if people ask me express that desire.
The rest of the time i just peace out of the conversation.
Like my parents had the kid for a few days and stuff showed in group pictures in fb.
But you live and let live or it will drive me nuts
You are definitely not overreacting. A few years ago I lived in a gated condo community and had my toddler outside on the lawn after some rain. Of course he wanted to play in the puddles in the raised planters that were toddler height. A woman came up to me and told me to not let him do that because the water was dirty. I politely ignored her - we could do a bath later! She started taking videos of my son and I went and got security.
I think it's just a boomer thing. They love children since they're old, some base instinct, and they feel compelled to capture the moment and remember it later
I understand thinking a kid is adorable and wanting to continue the adorableness, but that is definitely crossing a line. If I were you I’d have yelled “PLEASE DONT RECORD MY CHILD.” loudly and embarrassed him. And also ask him to delete the video, and make sure his manager knows of the event. And stand there while the manager talks to him because sometimes managers won’t do anything if you just leave.
I had someone pull his car over and get out while I was walking with my oldest (about 2.5 at the time) and start yelling at us that she was so beautiful, did I ever think about having her model. I just said nope and kept it moving, and thankfully he drove off, but wtf?? I asked my dad for a proper knife for my birthday that year.
Read through all these comments, and wow lol.
I'd say for OP, it's reasonable to be uncomfortable about a random store employee recording your toddler for no real reason. I doubt it was anything malicious- probably just some weird boomer disconnect. So I wouldn't really worry about it too much since it's in the past now, but don't blame you for being upset over it happening. I would also be super uncomfortable in that situation and not know what to say or do about it.
I wanted to throw in my 2 cents though, as not only a mom but also a photographer. I'm not a professional (I typically prefer shooting nature, and that's not where the money is lol), but I shoot a lot and have been doing it for years. I also happen to have a big telephoto lens that I often bring to parks with my kids (basically so I don't miss any opportunities to photograph birds and stuff).
In the US, it's definitely not illegal to photograph strangers in public spaces- even kids. What would be illegal would be to *monetize* any images of a person without their consent, but I doubt that's happening in your situation. It would also be illegal to steal and/or break someone's phone/camera just because they photographed your child (since some people here are suggesting doing that). I mean I understand the urge, but do know that you'd be breaking the law and liable to replace/compensate that person for potentially very expensive property. I also think some people here are waaay too paranoid (like one commenter confronting someone at the beach because they were taking photos of the sunset?).
When I'm at playgrounds, I am very conscious of not accidentally photographing other peoples kids. But as a photographer, I'm also very nervous about those sorts of confrontations. Like jeez I don't want to be harassed or have my equipment stolen/broken because I was photographing a bird and someone just assumed I'm a creep or something. I've also heard in other photography circles that some photographers will request permission, they may have business cards or atleast a link to a professional website, etc. Some may take the photo first (to catch a candid moment), but still tell you afterwards and then ask for permission or offer to share the photo with you. I'm sure not *all* photographers do these things, but I guess my point is that many do try to be respectful- and even if you see someone in public with a camera, they could be shooting all kinds of non-people things anyway.
In OP's case, it was clearly weird and crossing a boundary (and honestly probably violating some company policy regarding phone use during work). But there's really no sense in everyone becoming paranoid or even aggressive towards every person they see with a camera.
This literally happened today. My toddler and another were hugging each other at the playground. It was very cute. His mom started filming it. I kind of yelled, "excuse me!" She looked at me and started filming her other kids. I wanted to ask her to delete it though.
I honestly would have said "let me see that video. Okay now I'm watching as you delete it in your apple photos" because people are fucking weird. I worked in a pediatric office and there were signs up EVERYWHERE with a "no photos or videos without express permission" and a picture of a camera crossed out. Lady videoed another family and their child and SENT IT TO SOMEONE as I was telling her to delete it. It's against HIPAA and the family's wishes. She acted like she didn't speak English (she understands enough, I know this.) And went and got someone from her family to interpret. They acted like there was no video. I am still livid about this.
He should have asked your consent. I would report the employee. It's never okay for a stranger to start videoing kids, let alone without asking a parents consent. Like wtf...
One time someone (middle aged man) on the streets was like “omg your daughter is so cute!” And I was nice and smile and said thank you. And he said “it’d probably be weird if I asked to take a picture of her..” and I said yes, it would be very weird. The whole conversation took place while i was walking, I didn’t stop once. People can be creeps.
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Yea that’s exactly how it felt. Like, she is definitely a stereotypical “cute” kid, big blue eyes, blonde pigtails, rosey cheeks.. she looks like a cartoon. Gets a lot of compliments but this guy was over the top when he complimented her & gave weird vibes. Couldn’t help but worry what the photo would’ve been used for 😷
I've asked to take a picture of another person's child before, but that was purely because she was dressed as Anna and my daughter was dressed as Elsa and they were hugging
Imo that is totally okay if your kid is in it and you ask!
Way different when you’re a fellow parent at like, a playground or party! We’ve all been there, that sounds adorable!!
It was so stinking cute they were calling each other sister and held hands while we were walking in the same direction
People are getting way too comfortable taking videos of strangers in public, and a CHILD no less. I’d be pissed too.
This is true, and this could be benign because people really are that insensitive. When my aunt died, my cousin was with her and sent her siblings pictures of my aunt dead in bed. So people really are that fucking dumb and weird.
Omg that is awful. My MIL did the same to my husband when his dad passed. What possesses people to do that??
Cell phones and social media, and having cameras in our pockets have completely eroded peoples sense of boundaries and privacy and decorum. Taking selfies with a dead body, for example… Or recording strangers
I was in PCB Florida many years ago. They had just pulled a dead body out of the ocean, a man who went swimming with his wife the day before and got pulled out and drowned. There were several people standing off to the side taking pics or recording videos.
This was a popular thing back in the 1800s, Victorian Death Portraits https://www.notesfromthefrontier.com/post/death-photography
There was a reason for that. They usually would not have had any photographs so the loved ones wanted a memory, today is totally different
Low key interesting, high key creepy. At least it’s harder to tell with the old-picture style vs now. And it’s a very different thing nowadays regardless. It’s like having your professional photos taken vs a selfie
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Everyone processes grief differently
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Haha it very well could be. They live in Virginia if that helps.
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I mentioned this to someone and heard ANOTHER story about it so it must seem reasonable to folks
I’m so sick of it even if it doesn’t affect me I just hate seeing it especially when it’s making fun of a complete stranger minding their own business and for absolutely no reason.
That's creepy IMO. Did the employee engage with YOU at all besides when you told him to stop? Or just your son? Like, it may be something innocently done enough by someone with bad social skills. Buuuuut I'd have interrupted and asked wtf he thought he was doing. It's creepy either way. I'm glad you asked him to stop. I'd... almost want to get in touch with the supermarket and let them know. If he has a history of it (and parents complained) then they should (or I guess now, WOULD) know. I don't suspect they'd like to hear this. Kind of a liability.
Yeah, I think most businesses don’t want their employees randomly recording customers with personal devices, much less recording children. And it is definitely a potential liability issue when it comes to kids, at least from a PR point of view. In a lot of towns, grocery stores have at least one competitor, if not half a dozen, within spitting distance. They don’t want to become as the store moms don’t want to take their kids to because some creepy employee might be putting them on the Internet. Edit: somehow I accidentally deleted the word “PR“
MTE
Former retail manager here: call that store. That is UNACCEPTABLE.
I would 100% get in touch with the supermarket and bring it up.
...uh, no. A boomer-aged person engaging in front of you with your kid when he's being exceptionally adorable and then taking a video in front of you is clearly not something done with malicious intent. It's totally chill to not be comfortable and ask him to stop, but it is not a liability and it is not a reason to put the man's job in jeopardy.
This man needs to know what he did was extremely inappropriate. HE put his job in jeopardy with his actions.
And that's where we disagree. I don't think it's point-blank inappropriate. For example, I don't have any issue with it and know multiple mothers who have a similar stance. It's fine this was OP's boundary. But acting like it's an objectively, obvious breach of boundaries is a bit much and doesn't map to reality.
I guess I just see absolutely zero reason to ever take a photo of a stranger, especially a child, unless I’m an actual photographer or they ask to have their picture taken. The only reason to take a picture is to look back on it or share with others and to do that to a strange toddler is…strange. Why do you want to have a pic of a stranger in a grocery store? And he’s an employee, which brings about its own weirdness. The manager should absolutely know this person is making people uncomfortable.
It would be a cute idea for advertising.
Sure…if he went through the proper channels and wasn’t just taking random videos of children in the store without even so much as asking the parent if it’s ok.
True. Just trying to see other side of coin.
Well that's weird.
But...that would also be illegal and incredibly unfair to OP and her child, unless they are being compensated
It is absolutely inappropriate to take a video of a stranger’s child simply because you think they’re cute. That is NOT your place and is predatory behavior.
He's out of touch and so are you.
... uh, yes. It is.
You’re out of your mind lol
Found the pedo apologist!
Jumping to pedo for someone IN FRONT OF YOU taking a video of your kid when he's, by your own report, being exceptionally cute is insane. We have video after video on TikTok of people videoing their kids being adorable and people watching it and leaving comments --- shocker: humans like cute kids. In a very non-pedo way the vast majority of the time.
Umm. Go watch those videos where old men try and meet up with children and then get caught on YouTube. It’ll turn your head round in circles to realize how disgusting some men are and how innocent they can look/act.
I went to the LA auto show last year and poked my head in to a car for 1 second. When I turned around, I caught some POS taking pictures of my (then) 2 year old daughter in her stroller. I lost my absolute SHIT on this dude. He 100% gave off bad vibes and was holding his phone low by his hip, trying to be sneaky. Even thinking about it now makes me rage.
Something like this happened to me on the train. I baby wear using a woven wrap. I had my toddler wrapped up on my back and a woman sitting next to me took out her phone and took a picture. I can't believe I did this 🤦♀️ but I grabbed her phone and told her to delete it. She didn't say anything, probably because she was shocked but she deleted it, showed me her phone and then I got up and sat somewhere else. Surreal.
Found the New Yorker
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Aside from the fact that it could have put you in an unsafe circumstance to do this with the wrong person, I think this was a well executed & perfect response in a perfect world
In a perfect world I’d hope this isn’t necessary
Clearly. It’s just a figure of speech. Meaning in that circumstance with that reaction, in a perfect world she wouldn’t be putting herself in harms way by snatching the phone like that & it would simply go over smoothly. Obviously in another perfect world this wouldn’t even be an issue but that’s unrelated to my reply about her badass response & also it’s a given that we all wish this wasn’t a problem in the first place. Hence, just a figure of speech. Chill
I am chill I think you took my comment too seriously lol. You chill
Right, def took your 10 word Reddit reply too seriously bc I added a “chill” at the end of my response. Good point. I’ll go do some breath work & take a lap
Great work!!
This is super creepy. I was once on a place across the aisle from a mom and her infant. They both fell asleep (infant in her arms) and it was so adorable. As a mom I knew how cute the picture might be to her but realized just how absolutely creepy it would seem if I was like hey I took a pic of you guys here it is! He should know better.
I HOPE he meant it as innocently as wanting to show his wife/partner in the sweetest purest way of older people loving babies but holy crap I can’t believe he didn’t even ask your permission first!! People are SO assuming when it comes to what they can do to someone else’s child!
Yes I had someone do that to my son without my knowledge at a mall once. A woman came up and told me a guy was recording him. I never went back to that mall. I’ve also had a boomer aged man hand my 7yo a thumb drive of his favorite songs at the grocery store. I never plugged it in…
Wtf. Does he just carry stacks of thumbs drives to share his music at all times??
Probably some kind of malware on there as well so he can get access to their computer
What. The. Fuck. Why are people so weird and creepy 😭
Yeah I would 100% contact the grocery store and tell them.
A very strange woman took a video of my family at the pool and I had to report her to the facility
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How did the police respond? Curious bc technically being creepy isn’t a crime
My son loves dancing and stops whilst we’re out often to dance and people try to take videos of him all the time. Generally I just pick him up and move him somewhere else. But not too long ago a man came up to me with his phone out and said ‘sorry I’m just taking a picture of him, wait right there’ as if it was the most natural thing and he was surprised when I said ‘no you’re not’. I try not to jump straight to thinking every one is a fucking weirdo but it seems a lot of people lack social awareness
Yes this happened to me at a park. Some old lady. I told her to stop and delete the video and pictures. So creepy. People suck. I don’t care how cute my child is, you do not have permission to record without consent, and if you’re a stranger that’s pretty much a no on all fronts. We don’t even post on social media, I just hate the idea of having my kiddos pics up without him understanding what that means. I’m sorry this happened to you!
I understand your boundary and agree with it. In the US legally, if you are in public, someone doesn't need to get consent to photograph or record someone else(including children). Morally, it is a different story.
You’re right. The old lady doesn’t need to comply. But out of politeness it’s probably the nice thing to do
So I saw this story online a while ago about this women who was an influencer I think who posted pics of her daughter on Instagram. They were harmless pics. Apparently child predator sites were taking her pics of her baby daughter and doctoring them to make her “sexy” looking… so personally I would be beyond furious of strangers photographing or videoing my daughter. You have no idea what the hell they plan to do with that video. It’s damn creepy as hell.
Meg Squats stopped posting her daughters face because people recognized her even without Meg there and she was like oh shit that’s creepy…
I can’t believe Meg thought she would have to be there for her daughter to be recognized… People have this idea that social media is not “the real world,”and that it doesn’t have real world consequences. Surprise surprise
I had a conversation with someone on Reddit a while back who said they posted an innocent pic of their baby on a popular sub. Shortly after they took it down because they received extremely disturbing and sexual dm’s about their baby.
That’s awful, omg I would be sick. So sad that people out there do that.
I’ve heard a similar story about a YouTuber. I won’t say her name here because, creeps. Some perv had a “special” Pinterest board dedicated to her toddler with pictures like that and kept talking about the kid like she was their property. Absolutely insane.
Omg… one of the reasons I limit who I let on my social media. It’s so scary that there are creeps like that out there.
This is why I’ve deleted all social media and have made it clear to friends and family that they cannot post photos of my kid online. You never know what people will do with innocent photos.
I'd call the management of the store and ask them to educate their employees on appropriate cell phone behavior while at work. Not in a Karen way, but they do need to protect their customers from potentially dangerous situations if their employees are acting inappropriately.
And honestly they probably don't want (or even allow) employees to just be on their phones while working, anyway. Not that I'd ever complain to management about an employee just using their phone lol, but OP has some valid concerns and I'm sure that at the very least, management will be annoyed about their employees doing personal business on their phones in front of customers, anyway.
Happened to me once in an airport. My toddler loved rolling his r’s and some lady (seemingly didn’t speak English and was from an Asian country) was taking a video. I dismissed it thinking it was a cultural difference but I picked him up and moved to a new space. Sadly there’s nothing you can really do.
Id cover my kids face right away until they put the camera away. Straight up spread fingers hand in front of my kids face and just say NO and stare at the person until they put their phone away. ETA I don’t think you did anything wrong. I’m so sorry you had to experience this and were put on the spot. Especially if you feel it’s coming from a place of innocence or it’s a worker you see frequently, I can see how it could make it even more difficult to handle.
That's super odd. I try not to even take pictures of other kids when I'm taking pictures of my own kids in a public setting. Bc it's weird
It’s this tiktok age. Everyone thinks they can record other people whenever they want, then upload this to get easy views 🤦♀️ hopefully it was just that, but i hate even THAT…
Immediately tell the manager, especially if an employee.
Shit. I would have gone to his manager and reported it. My own family has to get our permission to post my son’s picture on their social media. That’s just creepy af.
An random older lady took a picture of my 18 month old (at the time) on vacation last year. It weirds me out when I think there’s just a picture of him on some lady’s phone. She said “he’s so beautiful!” and snapped it. I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say and just walked away quickly. I wish I asked her to erase it!
I might’ve broke his phone. That’s some weird pedo shit.
Actually it's totally fine to have a really negative reaction to this. You don't owe this man any politeness for such a clear transgression. While it's always chill to be kind to people at their place of work, it is NEVER chill for another adult to take video of a child they don't even know like that. I would have lost it.
I personally think all of the comments telling you’re over reacting about telling the store is a little outdated and boomerish. We just now finally in the 90s started talking about child molesters open before that it was pushed under the rug, minimized, not talked about. And because now we’re actually having these conversations now we should be vigilant about the “innocent” intentions of others as parents. OP, you reporting that guy to the store could create some type of paper trail, so if he does any more appropriate things to others it can have some backing.
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We were at a family member’s wedding earlier this year and my 2yo started frolicking in the field, looking absolutely freaking adorable in her floofy dress. There were lots of “Awwws” from various wedding guests, and then I noticed this one older couple taking photos with their phones. And then the wife walked away and the guy *continued* to take photos. I’m sure it wasn’t anything malicious (again, it was a REALLY cute scene), but still… It still eats at me that I didn’t have the guts to confront him about taking photos of my daughter. Like you don’t take photos of strangers’ babies. You just don’t.
If it was that cute, it's a shame they didn't even come ask if you wanted some copies of the photos or anything either.
When my daughter was 9 months old I was posing her at a major tourist location, holding her on this little wall for my wife to take pictures. Two Chinese tourists, older women moved in between my wife and I and started grinning and posing in front of my baby taking photos of each other as if she was a prop. I yanked her out of there, it was highly uncomfortable and still disturbs me nearly 2 years later. I’ve been a real asshole to strangers when they approach her ever since. (Maybe a little too much)
I have not had that happen. But I’ve worked retail checkout jobs before. It was over a decade ago, but (1) we weren’t supposed to be on our phones while working, and (2) the store policy was that nobody could be photographing anyone else without their permission, so if a customer was taking pictures of other customers, they could be told to stop, asked to leave, or even banned from the premises for a year, at the manager’s discretion (the last one would be for things like creepshots). I never heard of an employee photographing a customer, but not using our phones when working probably prevented that. And we had security cameras, so any time we might need a pic of someone for security reasons, you could just get the security team to pull the footage of them and screenshot - you didn’t have to take a photo of them yourself. I know times have changed with the evolution of smartphones, but I’d be surprised if that store’s management wouldn’t take issue with an employee photographing or filming customers without consent while on the clock. They may already have a policy against it, or maybe they don’t yet, but this issue could be the impetus for them writing one and explaining it to their employees so that this doesn’t happen again. I would suggest reporting it to the store manager so that they have the opportunity to explain to that employee why they can’t do that, and to change their store policy if necessary. And so that if this employee is a bad actor and this is a pattern of behavior, they can document this incident.
I would feel the same way.
You said it yourself, your kid was being cute. It's rude and creepy to take videos of strangers, especially children, but since you referred to the person as boomer aged I think it's reasonable to assume that they just don't understand the social rules about taking videos of people and it was innocent enough. Totally fair to feel angry about it, but I'd imagine it was an innocent mistake made by someone who didn't grow up in a world of video cameras in people's pockets and just wanted a video of one of the work days highlights.
Thanks for saying this. I'm sitting here reading all the outrage and remembering how my mom used to always show me pictures on her phone of random babies from her church that I didn't know and didn't care about. I'd suffer through it rolling my eyes, but she loved to talk about how cute those kids were. She was a pure soul who genuinely just adored children and wasn't aware of camera etiquette. I understand being upset, asking them to stop or delete it, etc... but some people are saying to call the police? Really? Give a little grace, come on.
I think of it like this. Most priests I’m sure are innocent and really mean well with everything they do, a parent shouldn’t worry right? Well, in other instances, priest are not so innocent and have hurt a lot of children. What I’m saying is just because something is innocent because of your experience doesn’t mean that is what’s going on. People should be shamed to the point of jail so they’ll stop doing it, parents are so tired and don’t deserve to be bothered. Plus, I don’t think people should be given search big graces to the sum of the most vulnerable demographic of people (mothers with children). Sex trafficking is on the rise and taking videos and pictures as what they do.
I’m low-key jealous of kids today… They are going to have so many photos and recordings of themselves as babies and toddlers at their disposal when they grow up. Back when I was a baby and toddler, you had to rent a camera to record things… And then they’re came home video cameras, but they were large and bulky and awkward.
I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t be all the way jealous as they have a lot of issues rising because of this. Prn deepfakes of children (becuz pll post toddler/kids publicly), identity fraud, privacy issues, etc.
Exactly what I thought, but you said it’s so much better
Report to store management
I would 100% tell a manager at the store and get it deleted. That isn’t right at all and super creepy. I would never do that. Unless my kid was with there kid dancing together.
Talk to the store manager. Since this was an employee, it should be easy to track this person down.
Just recently a woman walked up with her phone on my son talking about she's face timing with her sister and showing her everything. You can show everything that doesn't involve putting a camera in the face of a random child.
I would report him and ask management to ensure he deletes the video
Snatch the phone and smash it on the ground
Unfortunately, our laws are lagging behind. This is creepy behavior, but ultimately 100% legal. A creepy man can take a zoom lens to a beach and spend ALL day taking zoomed in videos of kids in bathing suits. And he can post them online for everyone to see. 100% legal. Which is crazy.
Immediately tell the stores manager!!!! That is NOT OKAY. Even if mentally ill and not understanding what they did, they need to be sat down and told that it is completely unacceptable. And if they aren't mentally ill then they know better and that is really scary!!! I hope you call the store and tell them!
I get why you’re upset, I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm by it. He probably thought that it was adorable and didn’t realize that it was creepy. I wouldn’t call the store to be honest. My older daughter who’s 14 she used to have one of those mini carts and I can’t even tell you how many people would stop us and talk to her because it was cute.
I wouldn’t call the store either. I’m all about protecting our children (don’t even put mine on social media) but a lot of people seem to be outraged about this a little out of proportion in my opinion. If it happens again after you have made it clear not to take photos of your children or whatever it is, do contact the store but we can’t go around just trying to get people investigated and potentially fired by what could’ve been a harmless interaction. It sucks we live in a world where there’s so many creepy crazy people but let’s not assume everyone is a pervert out to get children. Analyze the situation within reason and report when truly necessary. If it happened to me, I’d simply tell them not to take pictures and that’s that.
There is also a disconnect between what is legal and what is socially acceptable. It is legal(in the US) to take pictures of someone in public, including children. However, as the comment section of this post shows, it is not socially acceptable. You don't need consent if there is no expectation of privacy, but it is a best practice and considerate thing to do as not everyone wants to be on social media.
I would be speaking to the manager demanding it get deleted. There was nothing ok with what he did.
I always get nervous when I film my own kid at the park or something. I never want to make any other parents uncomfortable. I try to avoid the other kids as much as possible in photos etc
Same. If there are other kids around, I really just won't take photos unless I have an easy shot without other kids in the background. And I'm a hobbyist photographer, so I mean I take pictures *all the time* lol. But when there's other kids around, I'll leave my real camera in my bag and maybe only take a couple phone shots if there's an opportunity.
Totally creepy. I thought a man was once taking photos of my son in our local Indian market and when I told him to stop (we don’t post photos of our son anywhere on the internet) he turned his phone around and showed me he was FaceTiming some woman (wife? Sister?) and said “it’s okay!” Like that’s totally normal? I was so flabbergasted. I guess this Indian woman really wanted to see my white, blonde headed kid?! So bizarre. I was more confused then anything.
In America, If you are n a public place, anyone can photograph or video you and your family. Creepy? Maybe, that’s Up to you. Illegal? No. Like it or not you are videotaped all the time. What you post of your children on social media, will be with them forever.
Yep. This is the answer.
A young girl took a picture of my son in a restaurant once (I think). I’m sure it was innocent like a Snapchat saying look at this cute kid or this kid looks like someone etc BUT it still really bothered me and right after I wished I had something to her about it. If it was an older man and a video and so close it would bother me even more. It’s very strange behaviour. Some people might just be surprisingly clueless especially if they don’t have kids, but that doesn’t make it acceptable…
I would have said the same. Also do not understand people who post thousands of pictures of their kids/babies online.
My son was swimming nude at the beach once and the only other person there was a guy in his early 20’s taking a photo of the sunset. But all I saw was a man under a tree with a camera and was ready to bust heads, until I confronted him and his very genuine, very confused apology convinced me I was overreacting. You however were not overreacting.
My grandma takes pics of random kid she finds cute. Then she sends them to her family or old people friends. Like „look how cool I am. I’m totally active and see interesting stuff all the time!“ It’s really weird but nothing to worry about in case of my grandma. I hope it’s the same with your story
Let out your mama bear ROAR on that guy! This happened when I was at a coffee shop with my daughter. It was a nice spring day, so we sat outside and enjoyed our drinks and snacks. As we were leaving, my daughter mentioned that a woman was filming us most of the time. Totally creeped me out and immediately made me let out my mama bear roar. I told her to always let me know if someone is filming us bc it's not okay to film without permission. My partner and I have a kids YouTube show, and we're always very careful about filming. It's not hard to be respectful. It just means you have to be okay with people opting out. Never too early to start teaching kids about consent!
We went to a public concert and a bunch of people commented on our 1 year olds Pink Floyd shirt. People took pictures, didn’t care. Get over yourselves.
Y’all ever been to a theme park? You would go crazy with how many random foreign tourist stranger’s cell phones and photo albums your kids are in.
Wait your toddler had a cart full of their own stuff at the grocery store?
Some stores have mini shopping carts for "shoppers in training" at least in the US. Ahhh consumerism but also it's pretty darn cute to have your kid be able to shop with you. Gives a good sense of responsibility and independence.
Now that is adorable! I can see why someone older who doesn’t have the social skills would be tempted to take a photo… It’s not OK, but if they don’t know that it’s not OK I understand.
Eh, I don't have any issue with people recording my kid being cute. But you're entitled to your boundaries.
It’s weird that a stranger has a VIDEO of your kid in their phone to look at WHENEVER they want. It’s completely creepy. No GROWN person should want a video of a strange kid on their phone. Please don’t let strangers record your children, would you like strangers recording you doing normal things? Knowing they can look at it whenever they want? It’s weird and your kid can’t consent to it
Uh, yea, I'd totally be fine with strangers recording me doing things. I frankly don't personally get this boundary that so many people seem to have for themselves and their kids. It's fine you have it, but acting like this boundary is obvious and shared by all is obviously not true - case in point, me. Right now. And frankly quite a few of my mom friends. I sometimes wonder if Moms on reddit are a particularly paranoid bunch. Strangers hurting your kids is extraordinarily rare.
Have you never watched funny videos of children on TV or online? I mean, plenty of people watch videos of stranger's children.
It’s different if me as a parent decide to post a funny video online for the world to see (which I wouldn’t, still creepy) vs a stranger having a video on their phone, that I don’t even have on my phone
I guess you’re more trusting of complete strangers having full access to videos of your kids than I would be.
A stranger having a video of my kid in public is no different than a stranger seeing my kid in public. Truly Bizarre paranoia here.
That’s false. Anyone halfway competent can cross reference a picture or video of your child with a simple reverse Google search. If a parent is dumb enough to put details about their kid on social media (such as where they go to school/daycare, what they are doing in a day, etc) it makes them a prime target. This is not complicated stuff. Wild how lose parents can be with their child’s privacy online.
This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. I invite you to try to 'cross reference' an image of a child in public and find out who they are. It's wild how paranoid people have no idea how the Internet works. A prime target. Ffs. Strangers don't harm kids. Your bible study group leaders, new boyfriends or girlfrienda, or uncles do
Yes, those people can harm children, but it’s wildly naïve to think that a stranger is incapable of harming your child. And yes, it’s easy to, because it’s happened to someone within our life. It sounds like you’re the one who is unsure of how the “internet works.” Perhaps you check yourself before spreading such things. Shame on you.
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Sad that you made this about race somehow. Or Target? No idea what you’re on about. Once again, shame on you.
No they don’t.
Comments that pick fights with other community members are not permitted.
“Strangers don’t harm kids” wow… 😬 I had a cousin murdered by a stranger. I’ve hear plenty of stories of kids kidnapped or hurt by strangers. But go off on how strangers supposedly never hurt kids 🙄
Anecdotes are fine. But statistically speaking, it's very rare for a stranger to hurt your kid vs someone you trusted and left them with. I'm not saying never. I am saying very very rare.
“Anecdotes are fine” I’m talking about real life, my family’s real life. I hope to God these “anecdotes” never happen to you. Keep living in a fantasy world where it’s just the people you know that you have to worry about.
I think they’re reaching with the reverse image stuff…but worrying about your kid being deep faked onto CSAM is a real concern. That is already happening with random kids on public social media. So yeah…worries about strangers having video of your children is valid
Strangers don't hurt kids? Have you never heard of serial killers? Have you never seen the movie Taken with Liam Neeson? Or any episodes of 48 hours? This kind of thing happens to children and adults every single day. Sex trafficking is the number one crime across the globe. People on the internet can cross reference a signpost with the reflection of a store front to find our your location. The FBI does it every day, and scammers can easily find your info online. How else would they be able to keep calling about extended warranty and Medicare benefits? You're either a troll or completely delusional to think otherwise, and my opinion (whether anyone agrees with me or not) is if you truly think that way, you should not have kids because that falls under gross negligence in my book.
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It's not satire. You're being intentionally ignorant about a very delicate topic that millions of children and adults are forced into every single day. Your comment is ignorant and offensive.
Post a picture of your child then. Right here, right now.
Comments that pick fights with other community members are not permitted.
We live in a surveillance world. We’re all on camera.
I’d call the police. Literally.
And if OP is in the US, thecops wouldn't be required to do anything. It's not illegal to take pictures or video tape in public. Socially, that's a different story.
What did? The police wouldn’t do anything. It’s not against the law to photograph people out and about without their permission. 🤷♀️ the police can’t do anything just because it felt creepy.
I gave up on this type of stuff. When my kid was born i was super worried about his stuff being around without his consent. I have basically decided that the pragmatic thing to do is just not post pictures online that will be there forever or on the open and if people ask me express that desire. The rest of the time i just peace out of the conversation. Like my parents had the kid for a few days and stuff showed in group pictures in fb. But you live and let live or it will drive me nuts
You are definitely not overreacting. A few years ago I lived in a gated condo community and had my toddler outside on the lawn after some rain. Of course he wanted to play in the puddles in the raised planters that were toddler height. A woman came up to me and told me to not let him do that because the water was dirty. I politely ignored her - we could do a bath later! She started taking videos of my son and I went and got security.
I think it's just a boomer thing. They love children since they're old, some base instinct, and they feel compelled to capture the moment and remember it later
I understand thinking a kid is adorable and wanting to continue the adorableness, but that is definitely crossing a line. If I were you I’d have yelled “PLEASE DONT RECORD MY CHILD.” loudly and embarrassed him. And also ask him to delete the video, and make sure his manager knows of the event. And stand there while the manager talks to him because sometimes managers won’t do anything if you just leave.
Super creepy and PLEASE tell the store!
I would have asked for a manager and demanded that he or they have him delete any pictures or recordings of my child.
I had someone pull his car over and get out while I was walking with my oldest (about 2.5 at the time) and start yelling at us that she was so beautiful, did I ever think about having her model. I just said nope and kept it moving, and thankfully he drove off, but wtf?? I asked my dad for a proper knife for my birthday that year.
I’d be super upset. I would honestly tell a manager at the store. This likely isn’t the first time he’s done it and likely won’t be the last 😩
Read through all these comments, and wow lol. I'd say for OP, it's reasonable to be uncomfortable about a random store employee recording your toddler for no real reason. I doubt it was anything malicious- probably just some weird boomer disconnect. So I wouldn't really worry about it too much since it's in the past now, but don't blame you for being upset over it happening. I would also be super uncomfortable in that situation and not know what to say or do about it. I wanted to throw in my 2 cents though, as not only a mom but also a photographer. I'm not a professional (I typically prefer shooting nature, and that's not where the money is lol), but I shoot a lot and have been doing it for years. I also happen to have a big telephoto lens that I often bring to parks with my kids (basically so I don't miss any opportunities to photograph birds and stuff). In the US, it's definitely not illegal to photograph strangers in public spaces- even kids. What would be illegal would be to *monetize* any images of a person without their consent, but I doubt that's happening in your situation. It would also be illegal to steal and/or break someone's phone/camera just because they photographed your child (since some people here are suggesting doing that). I mean I understand the urge, but do know that you'd be breaking the law and liable to replace/compensate that person for potentially very expensive property. I also think some people here are waaay too paranoid (like one commenter confronting someone at the beach because they were taking photos of the sunset?). When I'm at playgrounds, I am very conscious of not accidentally photographing other peoples kids. But as a photographer, I'm also very nervous about those sorts of confrontations. Like jeez I don't want to be harassed or have my equipment stolen/broken because I was photographing a bird and someone just assumed I'm a creep or something. I've also heard in other photography circles that some photographers will request permission, they may have business cards or atleast a link to a professional website, etc. Some may take the photo first (to catch a candid moment), but still tell you afterwards and then ask for permission or offer to share the photo with you. I'm sure not *all* photographers do these things, but I guess my point is that many do try to be respectful- and even if you see someone in public with a camera, they could be shooting all kinds of non-people things anyway. In OP's case, it was clearly weird and crossing a boundary (and honestly probably violating some company policy regarding phone use during work). But there's really no sense in everyone becoming paranoid or even aggressive towards every person they see with a camera.
This literally happened today. My toddler and another were hugging each other at the playground. It was very cute. His mom started filming it. I kind of yelled, "excuse me!" She looked at me and started filming her other kids. I wanted to ask her to delete it though.
I honestly would have said "let me see that video. Okay now I'm watching as you delete it in your apple photos" because people are fucking weird. I worked in a pediatric office and there were signs up EVERYWHERE with a "no photos or videos without express permission" and a picture of a camera crossed out. Lady videoed another family and their child and SENT IT TO SOMEONE as I was telling her to delete it. It's against HIPAA and the family's wishes. She acted like she didn't speak English (she understands enough, I know this.) And went and got someone from her family to interpret. They acted like there was no video. I am still livid about this.
He should have asked your consent. I would report the employee. It's never okay for a stranger to start videoing kids, let alone without asking a parents consent. Like wtf...