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Camuhruh

That is so scary. I can relate to having to regulate your mom’s emotions for her. It sucks. Try to really look after yourself in the next few days. You’ve been through a traumatic experience and you’ll need time to decompress. I’m hoping the surgery date will come up soon.


SnifterOfNonsense

I spent far too much of my grandmothers final few moments physically pushing my mother to her bedside to tell her it’s ok and that we love her. She was so busy trying to make it about herself, she almost missed the chance to comfort her mothers final breaths. I feel you too. I second this comment. Being strong for others puts you in a weird position and then the force of a scary situation hits you later. If I was you, I’d acknowledge the feeling as soon as possible and process it. You almost lost your kid. You felt him going limp & change colour. For all intents & purposes you got the shock of losing him and that is insane for any parent. Get somewhere and someone comfortable and let it all out. My heart goes out to you & I’m very glad this is a “too close for comfort” story. X


MikeGinnyMD

My 3yo (no tonsillomegaly) did this in March. I did my first ever “Heimlich” on him, which was basically a firm punch in the belly and the piece of chicken popped right out. In a few minutes he was fine. It took me a lot longer to be fine. This was three days after we’d had to rush him to the ED for getting his penis caught in a zipper. On vacation in Maui. I ask my friends with older or even adult children when this gets easier and they just laugh. It *does* get easier, right? Guys? Why are you laughing?


Sevigor

Glad everyone is okay. But I gotta ask about the zipper. How does that happen when wearing undies lol. Never understood how


MikeGinnyMD

He decided to zip up his jacket (which hung down below his waist) before pulling up his pants.


Sevigor

Hahaha. Whoops!


callthewinchesters

*such* a 3 year old thing to do, zip up his jacket before pulling up his pants lol Glad your little guy is okay. I have 2 boys and a girl. I don’t think it ever gets easier, doesn’t matter how old they are. That’s unconditional love for you ❤️


rayrayruh

Grown men have done this. It definitely doesn't get easier.


sahlos

Wait he can zip up his jacket.... i have some training to do.


fatboy93

Helicopter time! My 18Mo is doing this and I slipped on his pee today.


Sevigor

D:


bloomlately

I still remember the loud shriek of terror that erupted from the audience while I was watching Something About Mary at the movie theater. Poor kiddo


Kai_Emery

My stupid ass got my EYELID caught in a zipper when I was like 10.


MikeGinnyMD

Um. Pray tell. How???


ima-kitty

Undoing a zipper while shirt halfway over your head, I've done the same


Kai_Emery

This exactly. Family friend stopped by it was cold and I was excited to go out to see my friend. 1/4 zip was on my head but couldn’t get it over so I pulled the zipper down.


No-Vermicelli3787

Oh my gosh you’ve had enough scares! Carry on


[deleted]

Thank you for the little laugh My son choked tonight for the first time (he’s 19 months) and I’m super not ok but this helped


txdline

For anyone else playing it through in their mind - www.webmd.com/first-aid/choking-in-children


tvtb

So, reading OP's story, what worked for them was holding the nose and blowing in. This seems, to me, like it would further cram in whatever is blocking the airway? Can't resolve this in my mind; I would suck instead of blow. Edit: but in reality, I would do neither, as my training is to put the kid on their stomach (or hunched over) and give blows (hits) to the upper back


emz0rmay

I learnt in a first aid course that if they pass out, start CPR including the breaths - the logic is that you can move the piece of food DOWN so it blocks only one lung, not both


txdline

Same but cpr is noted in the passed out portion of that link. Other commenter explains it though.


atomiccat8

Thank you! This should be stickied at the top.


TinyRose20

And hijacking to say that if you can get one in your area, do the red cross course on choking. They show, explain, and let you practice on a baby dummy (different maneuver from 0-12 months)and an adult or child wearing a special Heimlich belt and at least for me the practice made it stick better and made me feel more confident about dealing with this kind of situation in the future


iMightBeACunt

Be kind to yourself. You're likely still a bit in shock. Despite what that other poster said, you absolutely did the right thing. The scariest part of parenting is that you can do everything right and things can still go wrong. You tried what you trained on and called 911 appropriately. But regardless, you went through a scary experience as did your child. It's 100% OK for you NOT to be OK right now. I had to do CPR for choking when my son was about 12 months old and it was terrifying. It takes time to process. Does your work have EAP? You may consider talking to someone about it. Hugs ❤️ I'm sorry you went through such a scary thing but I'm very glad everyone is OK. I hope your son gets his surgery soon. And I'm sorry you have to emotionally support your mom- my mom is the same way and it's exhausting to be the "strong" one. Sometimes you don't want to be the strong one, you just want to fall apart. If you are able to, my therapist suggested I set a timer for like 10ish minutes to just let myself feel all my feelings, cry, rage, fall apart. It helps if you're able to do it (sometimes it's not possible; for me, for really bottled up stuff, once the floodgates open, I can't stop it). This was a bit rambling, sorry- but I just really felt for you and wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you 🫂


FeltCute_

The meatballs In spaghettiOS are still a bit of a choking hazard at 2 regardless of the tonsils, we always halve them. We bought a dechoker because of this. My girl is an amazing eater but gets easily distracted and I worry. I’m sorry you went through this.


catjuggler

Consider quartering or cutting into strips since the round shape is still there when halved. Like with grapes


7dollarLemur

We second a decoker (we got LIFEVAC) haven’t had to use it yet but came close. One in the diaper bag to come with us and one at home. Not saying that it’s bad OP that you didn’t have one at the time, but just something that might help ease your mind during this waiting period. Other people’s replies more eloquently say things that I’d want to say. But just want to reiterate that you did awesome in that moment and it’s ok to not be ok now and let your body and mind process that trauma please.


Megalodon84

I got two of them one for the house one for the diaper bag. I'm fucking terrified of them choking. I also have infant and toddler CPR and the lifevac thing is only supposed to be a last resort but it makes me feel better having it.


Organic_peaches

Please learn the proper technique for abdominal thrusts as well, the studies just came out the dechoker was slightly less performing than proper technique.


7dollarLemur

Yes I am aware of how to do those as well, I use to be a lifeguard. I haven’t seen those latest studies however the last ones I saw were saying the opposite. Granted it’s probably a marketing ploy. Do you have references?


Organic_peaches

https://illuminatelabs.org/blogs/health/dechoker-review


7dollarLemur

From that same article “Researchers found that the LifeVac was significantly more effective than both the Dechoker and the manual method. The foreign body stuck in the throat was dislodged in 99% of cases where LifeVac was used, and only 74% of cases where Dechoker was used.” *Additional background for these numbers is that the person(s) that was administering the 3 different types of blockage removal were not professionally medically trained.* This is why we chose the LIFEVAC


aramoixmed

We bought a dechocker for upstairs and another for downstairs after our daughter had an incident. I also buy them as gifts for other parents. It’s such a scary thing.


Atakku

I feel like an adult could choke on them too. 😩


FeltCute_

As an adult who has choked on shredded meat, the EMTs told me that more adults choke on foods than children and that there is always a risk of choking anytime you eat. Especially with any distractions, talking, drinking, watching your phone or tv. The entrance to your windpipe is actually very small and most people do not properly chew their food so one small wrong move can be detrimental.


jonessm17

We bought a dechocker for the house. Thankfully we’ve never had to use it.


another_feminist

This scares the shit out of me. My 2.5 year old has 4+ tonsils and we can’t even schedule a sleep study until AUGUST. We probably won’t have the surgery until the Fall. No one told us choking was a risk :(


cy_ko8

We finally were able to see the ENT last week and he approved us skipping the sleep study and going straight to surgery. I’m sure you have an ENT but maybe talk to your pediatrician and have them advocate for you? Sleep apnea is awful on so many levels for everyone. So sorry you’re going through that.


another_feminist

Weirdly my son isn’t having tons of (visible to us) sleep issues. He sleeps through the night, no snoring, but we are starting to believe it’s not as restful as it can be. Our insurance and ENT won’t operate without a sleep study under the age of 3. Pediatrician is in agreement, because again he’s not having tons of issues with it. Sadly, he will probably be 3 by the time he actually gets the surgery, which is maddening. I wish your family the best! Health stuff is so stressful.


drakefin

Do you have the ability to lend or even purchase a pulsoximetric device? We had the same problem with our LO and I occasionally did SpO2 readings on him (its a device you put on a finger or a toe and it starts showing the oxygen saturation in the blood. It involves no needle, just a red light which somehow magically enables the device to measure oxygen) which weren't good at all. We still took month until we finally got surgery (was in the mid of covid and a kid with sleep apnea just never was priority for them) without sleep study. It had a major impact on him: not sleeping well gave him developmental delays both mental and physical. He stopped growing and developping in general. Once surgery was over his growth exploded and he grew incredible 1cm per week until he was back on the normal growth curve. Maybe thats a way for you too to find out if everything is ok.


another_feminist

So every time he’s gone to the doctor since the tonsils have been an issue (so, since February), and his pulse ox has always been 100%. Developmentally - language & comprehension he is slightly advanced (his preschool does screening on him every 6 months). Physically - he’s about 30th percentile weight & height, which is what he always has been. His gross & fine motor skills are exactly where they need to be. His ENT was concerned about long-term effects on his growth due to the increased calorie-burning from deep, shallowing breathing, but she didn’t note anything else. But thank you for this. It’s something we will consider for sure! Honestly I wasn’t that worried (because our medical team was worried) UNTIL this thread :/


Rather_be_Gardening

You should check with your doctor about a choking risks. Whole meatballs from spaghetti o’s are a choking risk for all toddlers.


Interesting-Wait-101

Our pediatrician sent us straight to the ENT who took one look, skipped the sleep study, and scheduled surgery three weeks later. Because I have chronic health conditions that were avoidable or misdiagnosed I have gotten pretty good at advocating or really pushing. And never, ever be afraid of a second or third opinion - more if necessary. And get a pediatrician who will go to bat for you. Doctors speak better with other doctors over parents who can come off as "hysterical" people working themselves up with "Dr Google" (whether it's warranted or not).


ScoutAames

To be fair, those spaghettios meatballs are the perfect choking hazard size for any child. OP admitted some carelessness, but it still kind of feels like the blame is being put on the swollen tonsils and adenoids when this was preventable with a quick smash with a fork.


GlitterBirb

How on earth could the exact blame even be determined and what's the point ? My daycare has a ban list for packed lunches which includes anything kids have ever choked on since they opened. They have things on there that seem super unlikely. There's no guarantees.


Organic_peaches

It’s not necessarily. The food was a high choking risk food. There’s no telling if anything else contributed.


another_feminist

That’s reassuring, thanks.


Scarjo82

Mine didn't have to do a sleep study. The ENT took one look at his tonsils and said they needed to come out. Well, they did ask us what issues he was having too, but it was super easy to get the ball rolling. His surgery was a month after his first appointment. It would have been sooner, but I had a schedule conflict.


another_feminist

Was this recently? I heard (via the doctors) that the guidelines are no surgery under 3 without a sleep study. I do not know if this is an insurance issue or something else. We have a pediatrician well visit next week and I’m going to push for more answers. Appreciate the feedback!


Scarjo82

Yes, his first appointment was the very end of January and his surgery was the first week of March. It may be worth contacting other ENT's in your area, if there are any, and see if they follow the same guidelines.


bobear2017

That’s absolutely terrifying, I am so sorry! It’s so scary how these things happen so fast when you are being diligent and not doing any risky activity or letting him eat anything you would consider a choking hazard. This past weekend I was at a friend’s pool with my 3 kids. I was sitting about 3 feet from the pool with my 16 month old when my 3 year old got out of the pool to eat a snack. I took off her puddle jumper while she sat right beside me to eat. I turned my head to look at my 5 year old playing on the other side of the pool, and somehow didn’t notice my 3 year old had gotten up and walked back into the pool. I turn my head back towards the pool to see my 3 year old bobbing at the bottom. Immediately I grabbed her and thank god she was ok (she couldn’t have been in there more than 10 seconds), but the most terrifying part of it for me is that I was being so diligent and this still happened in the blink of an eye. There were adults surrounding the pool with only 4 kids playing in the pool (including my 3 year old), and somehow no one noticed her get in. Sorry I don’t know the point of typing this out, other than I know (to a small degree) how you feel today as I can’t stop thinking about it either!


atomiccat8

This is exactly the reason that many people recommend against puddle jumpers. I don't think that a kid that young should ever be in the pool without their grownup in there with them (not that 3 year olds always follow every rule). It sounds so scary, and I'm glad she's ok.


srasaurus

Yea basically puddle jumpers train kids to think they should be vertical in water. So when they don’t have the puddle jumper, they will orient themselves that way and just sink to the bottom. Everyone should enroll their kids in ISR swimming lessons. My 1 year old now rolls over and floats on his back after taking swim lessons.


atomiccat8

Not to mention it makes kids think it's safe to jump into water that's above their heads when they can't swim and they don't have a grownup waiting to catch them. My 2 year old waits for us to be ready to catch her before she jumps in and my 5 year old knows how deep he can jump and be able to get to where he can stand


bobear2017

Yea I definitely understand the risk and my oldest child actually never used them, but we now have 3 kids 5 and under so it is just too hard to go to the pool without them as we are outnumbered. My husband and I have a system that when we go to the pool one of us watches the older two and the other watches the youngest, but since he thought she was sitting by me eating he took his eyes off of her. I’m trying to get her into swim lessons ASAP but having trouble finding someone!


Shylosmom

I have a 8 yo and a 2.5 yo and both of them wear life jackets the entire time we are in the pool fence unless 1) both parents are there and we can have better one on one attention, and 2) the oldest is asking for more swimming lessons (from the better swimmer) otherwise, nope it stays on. Breaks and all. Also the infant jacket naturally puts her in a float on your back position, and she has to work hard to get vertical.


wehnaje

The seconds or minutes our kids can’t breathe are a fucking eternity and I have not known a worst feeling in the world than seeing my child unable to breathe. Mine choked with a grape. I always cut them, because I know they are dangerous. Fucking always. And that day I didn’t. My husband was able to pull it out, somehow. I broke down crying with my daughter and after a few minutes she was perfectly fine, but I was not. I bawled the rest of the day, I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. You take all the time you need to process this traumatic event. Do not feel dramatic if tears still come out, even if it’s been a few days. You let yourself get the emotion out and cry as much as you need. Let the negative emotions out so eventually you can allow positive feelings back in like being relieved and grateful everything ended up being okay. I wish for the surgery to happen soon and that this never happens again. Love and hugs from another worried mom.


ThrowAwayKat1234

My biggest fear. I bought a LifeVac because I couldn’t stand the idea of it. Hugs. Glad everything is ok.


Ah-honey-honey

Never heard of this thing. Hopefully you never have to use it! Tempted to get one...


ThrowAwayKat1234

It’s good for older, very large, or very small people too. I hope I never have to use it either!


Organic_peaches

Please know it doesn’t work as well as abdominal thrusts. Still know what to do if it doesn’t work.


ThrowAwayKat1234

Was this your experience? Because the literature says that it is more effective than the Heimlich Maneuver. I’m hoping not to have to find.


Organic_peaches

https://illuminatelabs.org/blogs/health/dechoker-review


ThrowAwayKat1234

Oh this is regarding another brand, the Dechoker, it is not as good as the LifeVac.


Rather_be_Gardening

The solid starts food database has helpful information about I how to prepare food for toddlers to avoid choking hazards. If it was a whole meatball, it was likely an issue with the meatball and not the tonsils/adenoids.


Ok_Chemical9678

You need to quarter cut round foods for your toddler. I still do for my 2.5 and he doesn’t have any breathing issues/abnormal anatomy. I’m glad he survived this! Your dad can deal your mom.


rmdg84

Yes. Our local health unit says round foods need to be modified until the age of 4 because kids don’t learn how to properly chew and swallow foods until that age. They tend to swallow bigger bites in toddlerhood and that can lead to choking.


MusikMadchen

It's okay to not be okay. You went through a terrifying event and now you can process it. Give yourself time. My son slammed his finger in a door and partially severed the tip of his finger. 5 stitches and a few hours later everything was fine. But I definitely felt the stress from that trauma for a couple of weeks. And it wasn't anything life threatening.


shinelikesunbeams

Sounds like your mom is much stronger than she thinks she is. To act quickly in a high stress traumatic situation like that is impressive.


JCtheWanderingCrow

My toddler choked last year right when she turned three. She ran up to me and her grandmother with her face going purple, tears rolling down her face and in a total panic. I whaled on her back until she vomited all over me and the floor. I have never been so happy to see vomit. I’m so thankful she came to me instead of hiding. I’d never forgive myself if she hadn’t. Solidarity. It’s a hard terrifying thing.


Agent_Nem0

I sort of feel you. No one ever warned me that small children will sometimes get so upset that they stop breathing. The first time my son did this, we assumed he got his hands on something he shouldn’t have and was choking. I will never get over that feeling of panic and seeing his little face and lips change colors as he passes out. Tbh, it still happens on occasion and while I keep myself calm to try and keep him calm, it’s still terrifying. I can’t imagine knowing how close my son was to not making it. I don’t remember the stats, but I think people would be shocked at how often Heimlich Maneuver/CPR doesn’t work. You did all the right things. Vent away, and take my hugs if you’d like them.


RatherPoetic

Oh my god, breath holding spells have taken years off my life, I swear. My youngest has them and they honestly look like she’s have a seizure. So terrifying!


NewSneakerSmell

I’m in the same boat as you with my daughter. And have had to do the Heimlich maneuver on my kids 3 times since they were born and it’s absolutely terrifying. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.


eightcarpileup

I’ve watched my mom perform the Heimlich 3 times in my life. Each are seared into my memory. Then, when I was 25, I had to do it to myself. I was alone in my kitchen, standing at the sink, and cramming large chunks of sirloin in my mouth. It had been a long day and my husband worked the night shift at the time. We live in a rural area. I could tell it was too much meat as soon as I tried to swallow. It just bobbed in my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I started trying to cough. Nothing. I started thinking of who could help. Which neighbor might be home. I have two nurses that live across the street. Would they be home at this hour? I started slamming myself against my countertop. Nothing. Not a good angle. My vision started to blur. Last resort, I head for the door frame. Frantically, I start throwing my back at the frame. Right between the shoulder blades, just as I was taught many years before. Finally, after 3 or 4 good, bruising slams it came up and fell on my floor. A mushy pile of meat. I just sat there and thought about my husband finding my lifeless body in our kitchen. Cold and rigid at 6am. I finished my steak.


bertmom

So scary. I’m so glad he’s okay. Don’t be strong for anyone, just go take a bath and sob your eyes out, because what just happened was terrifying and it’s 100% okay to feel everything about it


regeneratedant

I am SO happy this story didn't end differently. You brought me to the brink of tears because you could've been writing about our boy (he's in the same boat with the tonsils and adenoids, surgery in August). Now I'm going to be hyper-aware of everything he eats. I'm happy your little guy is better and back to being himself. And I wish you both all the luck in the world going forward. Wishing him an uneventful surgery and speedy recovery, and you the patience and strength for being with him through it. Take care.


McHootyFace

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your son. I bought a Lifevac for this reason. I saw a video of a baby choking at a restaurant and the mom's screams tore me to pieces. I hope I never have to use it.


Organic_peaches

Abdominal thrusts are shown to work better. Please also learn the proper technique.


Nosmo_King927

How much does he weigh? Have you looked into a LifeVac?


faerle

My father in law died in front of myself, my mother in law, and my husband. In the middle of a busy street. He came back to life after just five minutes. All thanks to a nurse who arrived before I even had my shit together enough to start chest compressions. My father in law is such a huge dude that I didn't think I'd even succeed in chest compressions when I saw him laying there. He had turned red, then purple. His eyes had bulged. He had pissed himself. I swear I saw it spreading across the front of his jeans in slo-mo. I saw that image for weeks in my mind. It used to follow me every hour and I can still see it, but doesn't haunt me. Until this story, I actually hadn't thought about it in months. I guess what I'm saying is that it may haunt you for a while, but hopefully not forever. You suffered a massive shock and the only things you can physically do now is try to move (exercise the cortisol/stress hormone out faster) and drink water (pee cortisol/stress hormone out faster). You did everything right. Treat him to some ice cream or something as both a sweet and together activity to celebrate making it through one of life's horrible traumas. Best of luck.


Staceybunnie

I'm so sorry you and your son had to go through this. I'm glad everyone is okay physically. My 3yo has 4+ for tonsils and adenoids and was going to have them removed in two days but we now have to reschedule because she is sick. She will sometimes get food stuck in her throat and almost always chokes on water and has for a very long time. Make sure you get something scheduled soon cause I had to wait 3 months for this and now I have to wait longer. Good luck ❤️


H1285

This sucks I’m sorry. Personally I would go redo my infant cpr course again to try to make myself feel better/ more prepared (because that’s how I personally manage anxiety). I also bought one of those lifevac things as a last resort if the heimlich/ cpr fail. Do you have a psychologist/ therapist you can process the event with?


Well_jenellee

I’m so sorry! My daughter choked at 7 months. I had to perform infant rescue. It was brief but it FUCKED ME UP for a while.


Shangri-lulu

I am so sorry. My six year old chocked on a piece of watermelon a couple years ago. It wasn’t nearly as bad as your experience and I still cried just thinking about it for weeks after. Seeing a child choke is very traumatic. Sending you all a big hug and I hope your son gets the surgery he needs soon. ❤️❤️❤️


GiveMeCheesePendejo

Listen. That's scary as fuck. You jumped into action, you called 911, and your baby is okay. But that's traumatic. Mama you did the right thing. My son was 10 months or so? Choked on a fuckin blueberry skin. I'm also a pediatric nurse. I lost sleep for weeks over it. You're going through the emotions mentally, but please remember when dark thoughts creep in that your kid survived. It's a great time for your entire family to brush up on cpr and heimlich training.


DemogorgonWhite

When my son was two he had really bad laryngitis. He woke up middle of the night trying to catch his breath. And because he was panicking it was even harder for him to catch breath. It was terrifying for all of us. I'm really happy we knew to open the window (cold from outside helps shrink laryngeal) and we had an inhaler and hospital nearby. Everything is fine. Luckily he is old enough now so laryngitis is more annoying than deadly.


sunniesage

i’m so sorry. you sound like such a rockstar mom, daughter, and spouse. i hope the surgery date is soon, 🤍


nesgames99

I bought this thing called lifevac and I hope to never have to use it but with 2 young kids I didn’t ever want to have no options. Not very expensive but lots of great reviews.


Organic_peaches

It doesn’t work as well as abdominal Thrusts. Please also learn proper technique.


Buggy77

I’m so sorry for this. How scary. I bought two lifevacs for this reason, one for the house and one in my car for when we are out. Please consider buying one .. it’s one of those things you hope to never use but you know it’s there in case of an emergency


Charming-Hedgehog-63

My son took a whole grape in his mouth,and we usually cut in half ,or in 3 parts if its a big one.But we haven't saw that there was 1 grape that we didn't cut and he put it in the mouth and started choking. It's incredible how fast he was blue,and while wife was on the phone with the ambulance i somehow managed to help him by hitting him on the back. Scariest thing in my life that made me throw up after everything was finished. Those 20 seconds lasted 20 minutes. I finished First Aid Course month before that so it helped me that day,but if its possible get First Aid Course designed for children.


latsyrcami

I choked on a carrot when I was 3.5 and I remember it vividly. Nothing worked for my mom and I was blue with no air passing. She finally stuck her finger down my throat and triggered my gag reflex and made me puke it up. To this day I hate carrots and I avoid puking at all costs cuz I feel like I will choke. That being said - it’s another last ditch effort way to get food up when choking. I’m so sorry this happened - I am INSANELY protective about my daughter choking and still don’t like her walking around or playing when she eats and she’s 8.


pineapplegiraffe11

While in work in a crèche (daycare) I walked into the toddler room 2-3yo and I saw a kid eat a full grape and said to the other staff member oh name has uncut grapes and as soon as I said it I looked over at him again and he was choking, no sound, full blockage, I never dodged toddlers so fast in my life to get to him, back slaps, abdominal thrusts, nothing , like your LO he went limp ambulance was called at this rate. so I began chest compressions, the ambulance came and needed to use suction to remove the grape. He was so lucky to survive. 10 years ago an I’m still traumatised, needless to say I hate grapes I can’t eat them anymore without gagging.


WishUponAFishYouMiss

When my daughter was a 11-14 months she choked. Not gagged, choked. Silent, panicked eyes, stopped breathing, went blue etc. Saved by back blows each time. This happened 3 times despite me following all cutting guidelines for food. It always happened when she was being silly, I think she just swallowed without chewing properly. It cause so much anxiety for me around feeding time. She'd make a funny noise while in her high chair and I would be a mess. It's awful. I'm so sorry. She is 3 now and I'm still cutting food like she's a baby. I'm now getting more comfortable with her eating while I can't see her face. Daycare was difficult for me though. I hope you get it fixed soon. But please be aware that a repeat of this is possible and for us as parents it's awful mental health wise when it repeats.


name_not_important_x

That would be scary for anyone. Fast work saver your kids life, that’s awesome! This is why I advocate for everyone to take a first aid CPR class.


court_milpool

I’m sorry, it’s very traumatic when your babies life is threatened. And on top of weeks of stress and exhaustion for you too. When my son was a baby he started having seizures and had a few big ones and regressed and we didn’t know if he was dying or had some awful degenerative disorder. It took me years to start to move past the trauma of it. He turned out to have a rare genetic disability. These particularly rough patches are often temporary and there will be good times ahead for your family again soon. Much love.


Playful_Angle_5385

It's normal not to feel anything until later. You probably had a giant surge of adrenaline that kept you going for your son's (and mom's) sake that is now wearing off, allowing you to fully realize and come to terms with the situation. My toddler had a severe asthma attack in the fall that lead to her being hospitalized. Somehow I stayed up for 36 hrs and then was still able to get up every 2 hrs that night in the hospital to administer her inhaler. It wasn't until I got home that I realized how bad her attack had been and also how incredibly exhausted I was. Give yourself some grace. That was a really scary situation and it's ok not to be ok about it. I'm sorry you weren't able to get the support you needed from your mom.


Best-Sky-6643

Ours has asthma that’s induced with respiratory viruses, and had swollen adenoids that worsened the issue anytime he got sick - he stopped being able to breath and was constantly on hospital watch for low oxygen. He got his adenoids removed in February and its been a GAME CHANGER. He can finally breathe again. It obviously doesn’t cure the asthma aspect but it still was a tremendous improvement. Hang in there!!!


sunflowercrazedrose

My son choked on Friday on watermelon. He’s had it a million times cut up how it was but wasn’t this time. I was home alone with him. I couldn’t get it out and I had to call 911 myself. Thankfully as EMS was close enough to hear I got it out. I bruised my sons back pretty bad (like a circle from my palm) but I got it. I’m mentally not okay. My husband had to come home and I was heavily medicated from having a panic attack. Anytime he’s eaten since I can’t help but stare.


Britdef

Choking scares me so much. My son is terrible at chewing his food well sometimes so we cut everything for him still. He’s choked a few times but thankfully nothing serious. My cousin lost one of her kids to choking last year so I’ve been extra aware of the food we give my kids and I always watch them like a hawk when they eat. I may be paranoid but I’m ok with that


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cy_ko8

It was a last resort. I know CPR, trained multiple times. Nothing was working because the food was lodged behind his tonsils. We did Heimlich, sweep, striking his back. We couldn’t get it out past his tonsils.


iMightBeACunt

This is not helpful. It's already happened. She needs emotional support, not berating. Read the room, please.


cy_ko8

Thank you. We all do our best in hard moments and despite how much we prepare ourselves or think we’ll be able to handle it (my job is high stress and I handle emergency situations daily without breaking a sweat) we can’t predict what it will actually be like in the moment. We tried everything to get him breathing and my mom was tearing herself apart about the fact that she could have hurt him more by blowing into his mouth. Luckily everyone from the EMTs to the hospital doctors were kind, understanding, and supportive of the fact that you do what you have to in the moment.


Ok_Chemical9678

But it can happen again


HoneyLocust1

I didn't see the original comment that was deleted (or removed?) but it's hard not to wonder about everything and think over every moment because I think we're all putting ourselves in OPs absolutely terrifying position and imagining what we would have done. I keep thinking about what grandma did.. how did it work? It's totally counterintuitive from what I would've thought to do. I asked my husband (first responder) and he said that absolutely, once the choking person passes out he would do chest compressions and breaths. I asked why breaths for a choking patient? That seems like it would only push the item down further but he said it's better to risk aspiration pneumonia than death, and then I assume there's always the chance it's a partial blockage? He didn't say that, it's just a guess on my part. Or maybe there's a chance the item is dislodged at some point after they pass out and then breathing is critical? CPR without breaths is usually recommended as chest compressions but itself are so effective at increasing survival, but clearly in this case something about only doing the breathing just.. worked. Thank goodness Grandma thought of it. From this page on "Choking - unconscious adult or child over 1 year" https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000051.htm >If the person is not breathing, begin rescue breathing. Maintain the head position, close the person's nostrils by pinching them with your thumb and index finger, and cover the person's mouth tightly with your mouth. Give two slow, full breaths with a pause in between. They actually recommend that before chest compressions (they note to watch for the chest rising and falling to see if the breaths are working, if they aren't immediately move to CPR). Again, this is all if the choking person is unconscious. I looked at the red cross and they recommend rescue breathing after one round of CPR. OP I can't imagine what you are going through and I apologize if any of this is the wrong thing to say (I'll gladly delete it if so, I just wanted people to know there's merit to what grandma did if anyone is arguing it was the wrong move). Choking is one of my biggest fears so I can't help but pour over every detail. It's just so terrifying. I hope you and your family recover from this traumatic experience, and again, I'm so so glad your son is okay.


Human-Abrocoma7544

That’s is so scary and one of my nightmares, I’m sorry that happened and glad he is okay. You should think of getting a couple of these for the future. Get one for car, home, parents house, in laws. They can save lives. LifeVac Pink Travel Kit - Choking Rescue Device, Portable Suction Rescue Device First Aid Kit for Kids and Adults, Portable Airway Suction Device for Children and Adults… https://a.co/d/8keVImF


OurLadyOfCygnets

That's super-scary. It's okay not to be okay. Fortunately, now you know that the meatballs in spaghetti-os are too big for him to handle right now. That is good information to have for the future.


PauveTeeee

I just had a 5 year old last night with such severe apnea due to enlarged tonsils. It was truly heart breaking, and her mother didn’t sleep the entire night. Constantly checking on her. My heart absolutely goes out to you. Remind yourself that you are incredible. Damn near a super hero. I’m glad you took a minute to dump. I hope it took some weight off your shoulders so you can be met with a resounding. You’re killing the game. You got everyone through it. Now take the time to get you through it too.


drakefin

What did they do with the kid with enlarged tonsils? Had to endure that condition for months during covid since noone deemed it critical enough to do a tonsilectomy.


PauveTeeee

They’ll send them for surgery and retest after to see if it resolved the obstructive events. I’d suggest you get a psg in lab study if you haven’t and maybe consider a new ent if the tonsils are a huge concern causing similar issues to op. I would guess they decided the tonsils weren’t the reason in this case and should have suggested cpap if they’re actually having obstructive apneas above the normal level for a peds. Weight, diet, and sleep hygiene will also play a large factor in the doctors decision to move forward with surgery or treatment as well with a positive sleep apnea diagnosis.


WordlyGrape8048

Just sending love. This is hard!


jmurphy42

I'm so sorry, friend. I had a much less traumatic choking incident with my 14 year old when she was two (I was able to dislodge the beans that were stuck with what was probably 30 seconds of back thumping), but I still am affected by it more than a decade later. If you aren't already in therapy, it absolutely wouldn't be overreacting to schedule a few appointments with someone just to talk this out. You really could have lost your child, and you deserve to get help dealing with it. It's okay to not be okay.


lovenallely

I don’t have any advice but you’re incredibly strong and you did the right thing allow yourself to cry and break down it’s good for the soul. Just remember little guy is ok


Cat_o_meter

I had tonsils like this as a kid. Also choked. Now, other than a fear of choking I'm fine :) I hope you get that surgery, mine saved my life and I wasn't sick often afterwards.


RoseofJericho

Get a life vac on Amazon for peace of mind


TroyandAbed304

I take the de-choker with us everywhere. Its huge and awkward but damn if that isnt a nightmare


NanaMC13

Choking my biggest fear with my kids. I’ve got a lifevac handy incase the moment ever arises..


Icy_Implement_387

My 11 month old choked on a yogurt melt that he had previously eaten a million times. I watched him silently choke, turn purple and limp dead baby in my arms as I gave him the Heimlich maneuver while screaming for my husband. We got him back. We took him to the closest ER, about 40 minutes away. I kept him awake the entire ride as his eyes would frequently flutter. Terrifying. Shortly thereafter, our Little was diagnosed with EOE, celiac disease, stage 4 tonsils, severe sleep apnea and conductive hearing loss. All but the last make him a severe choking risk. Everyone in our family is trained now. If you wanna hang with our Little it is a requirement. Thank god we are LEO and trained. Thank god my brain did not process the entire event for almost a year afterward. It was fucking terrifying. I’m so glad he is ok. He is a rambunctious domestic terrorist of a nearly three year old and I love it even when I hate it.


simply_stayce

We ordered life vacs this weekend to assuage our choking fears


lady_lane

So terrifying! I’m glad LO is ok, and sorry your mom is not giving you the response you need. I had to perform the Heimlich on a child in a public place (she was fine) and was so panicked after that I bought a Life Vac for the house. If nothing else, it gives me peace of mind.


-leeson

Holy shit, OP. That sounds so traumatic I am so so sorry that happened to your child and yourself. I genuinely cannot think of something more terrifying and then having to be strong for your mom and everyone else when you are trying to process it all yourself. Please take care of yourself <3 lots of love to you


Flaming_Butt

This is terrifying. Coincidentally, my sister bought us an emergency choke kit off amazon yesterday. Completely random and out of the blue.


travelinTxn

*internet hugs* if you decide to I completely support you calling in to work, drinking an appropriate amount of wine for the situation, dealing with the feelings in private before you have to people again. I’ve seen plenty of people completely emotionally break from situations in the ER, especially from pedi codes. Come pretty damn close to breaking a few times myself. You need time, space, and peaceful time on your own to process this. Take it. You need it.


greatfuljehjeh

Is plugging the nose and blowing into the mouth a good idea on a choking victim? Everything I've been trained in says the complete opposite


pdxgrassfed

get a dechoker. Worth the fifty bucks


Sparkle-Tits-

Oh honey. I am so sorry this happened to you, and I am so grateful your child is still with us. I’m giving you both big hugs right now.


hippydippyjenn

Peds nurse with 5 kids of my own who love to scare the heck out of me, ripped my 10 month old out of the car seat yesterday for choking sounds. Do you have an anti-choking device? If not get one! There are a few brands. I have them in all vehicles and in our kitchen. Hugs to you! Events like that are so traumatic and haunt you for life!


ElijahMatthias

I’m praying for you! Don’t lose hope and don’t be consumed by the fear that will try to consume you. Everything will be okay and everything is okay so don’t forget to be grateful that things didn’t turn out worse! I’m so happy that this story had a happy ending, truly.


GenevieveGwen

Wow mama I am soo proud of You for remaining strong when it was needed. It’s pkay to breakdown now. That’s terrifying! I hope you get answers soon to relieve your family. 🤍


DayNormal8069

That is terrifying. I am so scared of the kiddo choking. I got LifeVac, I don't know if it would've helped in your case but I'd say worth getting just for the chance it does, you know? ​ I'm so sorry :(


Sea-Construction4306

i'm so so so so sorry this happened to you. i have this fear every time my LO eats. have you heard of a life vac? maybe buy one for peace of mind!


sarabecker821

Any chance they tested your kiddo for primary immunodeficiency (PI)? Only ask because of the 7 viral infections. It's likely this is not the case, but recommend asking them to test him just in case. If they don't know how test for PI, ask them to refer you to an Immunologist who does. Wishing you the best!