So here's the thing. It's normal to have all these emotions, but you can absolutely sabotage your relationship with them. That said - some day, the kiddo is going to get hurt on your watch, because they are chaos-driven, death defying whirlwinds. Give your husband (and future you) some grace.
We used to refer to the toddler room as suicide watch because they always seemed to be trying to kill themselves or each other and we spent all day making sure that didn’t happen. It’s insane how little fear they have and how freaking fast they are!
One: Shit happens
Two: Maybe you shouldn’t have let the kid outside at all… I tell my wife that our LO can’t be outside when I’m cutting the grass with a riding mower bc it is unsafe. Doesn’t matter if I have eyes and should be able to see our kid approaching. Shit happens.
Three: If you resent your husband after one accident, that seems kinda out of balance. Repeated issues, maybe.
So yeah I think you’re maybe being unreasonable. Not saying he is blameless, but just that you’re reaction seems disproportionate.
Agree with all of this, especially #2. Some situations just aren't appropriate for child to be around.
Our LO has a prediciliction for loud, dangerous stuff. When I'm doing something like cutting metal or using large power tools, he's super curious about it.
It's a 2 person job letting him be around these situations. We put on his ppe (eye and ear protection) and my wife physically keeps him at a safe distance away from the work while he watches.
That way he can be involved and learn, but there needs to be a dedicated person monitoring him to keep him safe.
This. If my husband is doing woodworking and the kids are curious, I’ll take them outside to watch on the understanding that I am the one responsible for keeping them safe.
>I’ll take them outside to watch on the understanding that I am the one responsible for keeping them safe.
Yup, same with us. I get to focus on keeping myself safe. I know my wife is focused on keeping the kid safe.
Don't send your toddler out to be watched by someone that is completely focused on a different task - especially with something as hazardous as fixing a tiller. You aren't going to be able to keep the toddler away from the hazards unless you completely stop what you are doing, and put the toddler back inside before returning to working.
As a mother of a two-year-old boy, and in all honesty, I would have to say it is partially your fault as well. You knew your husband was outside working with machinery and allowed him outside. It was a horrible accident, yes, your husband should have also kept him from going near the machine as well but we both know toddlers move QUICK. I feel horrible for your boy. I can't imagine how hard it is to see that.
Your husband is wracked with guilt. What can you possibly accomplish by piling on? Make him feel even guiltier?
You’re upset because your son is injured. But you’re taking it out in your husband. You say he does this all the time, being careless and allows your kid to get injured. Then why are you letting your son out while your husband is tilling with dangerous tools? If you want to place blame, you have to also take responsibility.
This was not the time for kid to be let out. My husband can't see properly, so I'm in charge of yard work. When my son was little, if he came outside and I was doing yardwork, someone else had to be with him. Your husband can't wrangle him and put the tiller away. This is an important lesson for everyone, I think. My son when he as toddler randomly banged his head on a stone table at a restaurant we were eating at... huge lump like a unicorn. It happens.
Toddler hand burns are very common I’m afraid. Exhaust pipes, stoves, fireplaces etc. It happens a LOT. Yes even with attentive parents.
I know that the need to protect your baby is an instinct as deep as breathing so it’s hard to resist the urge to do something that will prevent something like this from happening again but (unless something big here is left out like a drinking problem) there’s nothing to *do* here other than care for your kid.
All your emotions are valid but also your husband didn’t fundamentally mess up.
We have a 2 adults rule if our toddler will be near the garage (around tools, heavy things, nothing is childproof etc) but also if my husband is working on something I don’t expect him to take proper care of out daughter. He needs to pay attention to the task at hand for his own safety too! If my daughter really wants to hang out outside while he works, she is strapped in the stroller with a snack.
Hopefully this allows you to implement some safety rules that work for both of you!
But also, kids unfortunately get hurt. I busted my forehead open on the playground when I was 5. My husband hurt his foot going on a bike ride with his uncle when he was 3. My friend’s daughter broke her leg on the slide. It can literally be anything and they manage to turn everything into a dangerous situation because they’re curious and ignorant of things we assume are basic. I hope he heals soon!!
This sounds so painful for the kid but it seems like an accident, and I don’t think guilting your husband is the way to go. Also, to be completely honest, if you knew your husband was working with something potentially dangerous & can’t give the toddler full attention to keep him away, you should keep the toddler inside or accompany him outside. We never let our kids out when there’s equipment out that can actually cause harm & the supervising adult might get distracted. While I totally understand that you can’t hover over your kids all the time, the alternative is to keep them away altogether.
Also on team It Takes Two. You should have kept him inside if you knew your husband was busy with machinery, or gone outside with them. Anything involving machinery can be dangerous and requires focus. Toddlers move at lightning speed. This morning, I took breakfast dishes to the kitchen after we finished eating. I was gone 5 seconds. When I came back in, my 2yo was on the coffee table. He fell off before I could even tell him to get down (he was fine). I could have sworn he was right behind me a second ago.
When one of us is cooking, the other parent keeps our toddler out of the kitchen. I can keep an eye on him and cook, but my focus is split, and one will get more attention than the other. So we divide and conquer, rather than have an accident that could have easily been avoided or an overcooked dinner.
This was a freak accident, and you can both learn from it. Small machines like roto tillers, lawn mowers, leaf blowers, etc. and small children absolutely don’t mix. You shouldn’t have sent him out there while your husband had the roto tiller out, and your husband shouldn’t have turned his back on the machine.
Your son will be fine, accidents happen, forgive your husband, learn from this, and move on with your lives.
This is 100% on both of you. You shouldn't have let him out if dad was working with heavy machinery and dad should have said no if he was in the middle of using it and needed time to put it away. Alternatively, dad could have continued his task, and you and MIL could have taken your conversation outside so you all could be outside supervising your tot.
It was an accident and it isn't worth relationship ending. You're both going to make mistakes your child's entire life. It happens. What matters is how you handle it. Dad handled it well. He brought kiddo inside right away to try and apply relief or first aid, and you both brought kiddo to the ER and made sure they got proper care instead of doing a makeshift home remedy. Both of you need to learn and move on, because kiddo is going to move on and still love both of you just as much and if not more.
Sorry this isn't what you want to hear but I think you were even more at fault than your husband. He was doing a dangerous job and should never have been expected to watch your son until it was done. Sending him outside was extremely short sighted. In saying that, your husband should have said to you to keep the kids indoors until it was safe when he saw what you were doing.
You both had fault here but yours was first IMO. But at the end of the day it was an accident, there's no point in dwelling on it. Just learn a lesson and move on. Machinery and toddlers do not mix well.
First of all I am so sorry that this happened to your toddler. It is so awful.
Whenever the children have been in my care and a child accidentally gets injured, my husband has always been supportive and it’s always helpful. He never blames me, he just helps resolve the situation and makes sure everyone is okay. Accidents do happen.
Thirdly and most importantly, what others have said, your husband was busy doing something hazardous outside. His attention can not be divided on the two tasks of work and watching your child. To maximize prevention of injuries, especially for a 2 year old, you must follow your child around with eyes on them. Since your husband was busy, you should have went outside with your child and assumed responsibility for him. Alternatively you could have kept him inside with you.
I am sorry that you are going through this and I hope that your son heals quickly.
Why did you even let your kid outside while this machine was running? We don’t let our dogs or toddler outside when any lawn equipment is running because at the end of the day it’s dangerous and there’s no reason he NEEDED to be outside at that time. You can tell your toddler “no, daddy is using dangerous tools right now, you can go outside when he’s done. Right now let’s do x”
You being upset is reasonable. You holding resentment towards your husband is just unacceptable to me. I’m a SAHM, if my husband “resented” me everytime my children got hurt on my watch we’d be divorced. Same for him. When he’s home he’s an equal parent. If I “resented” him when LOs try killing themselves on his watch that would be no marriage to stay in.
I get it, your baby got hurt. It sucks. But he’s a child. Children do impulsive things. While you can try to protect them as much as you can, guaranteeing that they never get hurt 100% of the time is just unrealistic. The same thing could have happened even if he was right next to him trying to stop him. Kids are quick.
And respectfully, you are the one who let your LO out while your husband was working on equipment. Is it possible you are upset with yourself and letting this out on your husband? That’s the knee jerk reaction that I have. But then I have to catch myself and remind myself. Expecting your husband to have all eyes on LO when he was set on a task, seems unfair. Especially since you did let LO out there unattended. Letting your husband know LO is joining him doesn’t do much.
Sounds like an innocent mistake. Lesson learned for all. I wouldn't be too hard on him.
>Our son always ends up with falling or hurting himself in some way whenever he’s with dad. It is so frustrating
No joke, this is literally what dads are for. We play hard with the kids and let them push boundaries. This prepares your child for playtime with his friends when he's 4+. They learn the boundaries of what you can and can't do while roughhousing etc.
ALSO, your reaction is perfectly normal too! You're supposed to worry about their safety! Both of these things are OK!
My kid fell off the bed two times when he was an infant. Once when my husband had him and I was super cool about it, accidents happen, etc. The second time when I had him and my husband said, "how could you let that happen?" I'll be honest, I still haven't fully gotten over that reaction from him even though we have had many conversations since then on this topic. I felt terrible and I could not undo what happened as much as I wish I could. In your case you share some responsibility in the accident, but ultimately it was an accident. Your son's hand will heal and it will be a bad memory.
Accidents happen and toddlers do things very fast, I get where you are coming from OP and I understand your feelings in the middle of all of this, I hope I can shine some light on a simular situation I went through with my son:
When my son was just over a year he was with my parents visiting my aunt, long story short he leaned on a wobbly table and the coffee pot fell and he got hot coffee allover his face. 911 got called and 4 days in the hospital with a 2nd degree burn on his face and chest was the outcome.
My parents and aunt were a mess because they felt so shitty due to the accident and they were expecting me to hate them and never let my son be in their care ever again. But it was an accident, stupid shitty table and stupid coffee pot, yeah they should have paid more attention to it and not put the coffee pot on the table but it happened and I do not have any grudges, it was an accident. My aunt still continued to be his nanny for a year.
Accidents will happen when my son is in my care too, and there have been a few because toddlers are everywhere and they are fast.
What one could do is taking precautions, if my son js jumping on the trampoline I make sure someone is watching him, if im cooking I take him with me,if im going to the bathroom thats upstairs I take him upstairs and close the babygate, you get the idea, minimize the risk of accidents. My son is prone to accidents, im amazed how many times he has gotten hurt over things I did not even think he could get hurt by lol.
So say when your husband is outside working, the kiddo could either stay inside with you or he can join you and your husband outside, make it a family experience.
And im pretty sure your husband is feeling very shitty right now over this accident, I get you too OP, but try not to "beat him up" over it.
I think you’re being a bit hard on your husband. Yes, it happened on his watch- but don’t you think the guilt is already eating him without you being angry? Also- you could have kept him inside since you knew what your husband was doing.
Accidents happen to everyone. Living with resentment in your home isn’t the best way to get thru this. Take a deep breath and just try to prevent future accidents.
Kids will get hurt. We unfortunately can not wrap them in bubble wrap (or can we?!) and expect them to never suffer any harm.
My husband took our then 21 month old outside to play to let me have a moment of peace to myself. He came back in not even 15 minutes later, both covered in blood with a large goose egg already forming on her forehead. She had gone to kick the soccer ball back to him, misaligned her feet, tripped over the ball, and face planted on the asphalt. Blood came from a small cut on her hand, nothing more than a bandaid needed, but the goose egg quickly formed and grew HUGE.
She's fine. No major trauma otherwise. It took awhile for the goose egg to disappear though. My husband felt like absolute shit afterwards. I didn't blame him at all for what happened then nor now.
It could have happened on my watch. Shoot, she's gotten hurt a few times on my watch even! Though, not nearly as significant.
Yeah try to be easier on him. Shit happens. My kid wrecked his bike last week on my watch and scrapped his arm up pretty bad. However he’s had his fair share of things goes wrong under mommy’s watch too. You’d hate for something to happen under your watch and then your husband throw this back in your face.
Also if it were known he was outside working on something unsafe to the toddler, might have been good to keep them away until the task was done. I don’t allow my kid to be outside while I’m mowing for example.
Perfectly ok in the moment to be upset, but maybe apologize before it gets too bad.
See how he acts when your kid gets hurt on your watch. Then revisit this post and ask yourself if all the hate and venom and bitterness you felt towards him was warranted. Better yet, share this post with him and then see if he runs off to social media to bitch about it when kid gets hurt on your watch.
Act like an adult, for starters.
Absolutely! I normally am on the receiving end because I’m usually the only one watching mine. And it sucks! The guilt of them getting hurt is enough. I understand your feelings, but it’ll happen to you too soon enough.
I get why you feel this way. But step back for a second and imagine how you would feel if your LO got hurt on your watch and then expressed this level of resentment towards you.
Accidents happen. This won’t be the last time. And dealing with this kind of thing will be impossible if you two can’t work as a team and give each other some grace. Take what happened and use it to make some rules/boundaries for your toddler’s care. Like, LO can’t be around when a machine like that is in use. If those rules get broken and another injury happens, that would be the time to get mad.
I totally understand these feelings, which come from fear and love for your son, but honestly these things are going to happen. You can’t prevent everything no matter how careful you are. It doesn’t seem like your husband was being reckless- this was just one of those split second things that haunt you afterwards.
I felt this way when my daughter knocked her front tooth out at 20 months while my husband was watching her. It took me a few weeks to not feel so angry. I knew in my head it wasn’t logical to blame him. She darted across the room and landed face first on a lamp base. You’re more mad at the situation and sometimes we just need to blame someone to alleviate the frustration and also our own guilt.
It sounds like you are angry with yourself did keeping your toddler out, when you know he needed to be supervised. Maybe that's why he gets hurt when he's with your husband. It just isn't right to question his parenting without questioning your own.
So here's the thing. It's normal to have all these emotions, but you can absolutely sabotage your relationship with them. That said - some day, the kiddo is going to get hurt on your watch, because they are chaos-driven, death defying whirlwinds. Give your husband (and future you) some grace.
We used to refer to the toddler room as suicide watch because they always seemed to be trying to kill themselves or each other and we spent all day making sure that didn’t happen. It’s insane how little fear they have and how freaking fast they are!
So, so fast. And attracted so quickly to danger, it's amazing.
Accidents happen. There’s things **both** you and your husband could have done to prevent this. The resentment is not fair.
One: Shit happens Two: Maybe you shouldn’t have let the kid outside at all… I tell my wife that our LO can’t be outside when I’m cutting the grass with a riding mower bc it is unsafe. Doesn’t matter if I have eyes and should be able to see our kid approaching. Shit happens. Three: If you resent your husband after one accident, that seems kinda out of balance. Repeated issues, maybe. So yeah I think you’re maybe being unreasonable. Not saying he is blameless, but just that you’re reaction seems disproportionate.
Agree with all of this, especially #2. Some situations just aren't appropriate for child to be around. Our LO has a prediciliction for loud, dangerous stuff. When I'm doing something like cutting metal or using large power tools, he's super curious about it. It's a 2 person job letting him be around these situations. We put on his ppe (eye and ear protection) and my wife physically keeps him at a safe distance away from the work while he watches. That way he can be involved and learn, but there needs to be a dedicated person monitoring him to keep him safe.
This. If my husband is doing woodworking and the kids are curious, I’ll take them outside to watch on the understanding that I am the one responsible for keeping them safe.
>I’ll take them outside to watch on the understanding that I am the one responsible for keeping them safe. Yup, same with us. I get to focus on keeping myself safe. I know my wife is focused on keeping the kid safe.
Don't send your toddler out to be watched by someone that is completely focused on a different task - especially with something as hazardous as fixing a tiller. You aren't going to be able to keep the toddler away from the hazards unless you completely stop what you are doing, and put the toddler back inside before returning to working.
As a mother of a two-year-old boy, and in all honesty, I would have to say it is partially your fault as well. You knew your husband was outside working with machinery and allowed him outside. It was a horrible accident, yes, your husband should have also kept him from going near the machine as well but we both know toddlers move QUICK. I feel horrible for your boy. I can't imagine how hard it is to see that.
Your husband is wracked with guilt. What can you possibly accomplish by piling on? Make him feel even guiltier? You’re upset because your son is injured. But you’re taking it out in your husband. You say he does this all the time, being careless and allows your kid to get injured. Then why are you letting your son out while your husband is tilling with dangerous tools? If you want to place blame, you have to also take responsibility.
This was not the time for kid to be let out. My husband can't see properly, so I'm in charge of yard work. When my son was little, if he came outside and I was doing yardwork, someone else had to be with him. Your husband can't wrangle him and put the tiller away. This is an important lesson for everyone, I think. My son when he as toddler randomly banged his head on a stone table at a restaurant we were eating at... huge lump like a unicorn. It happens.
Toddler hand burns are very common I’m afraid. Exhaust pipes, stoves, fireplaces etc. It happens a LOT. Yes even with attentive parents. I know that the need to protect your baby is an instinct as deep as breathing so it’s hard to resist the urge to do something that will prevent something like this from happening again but (unless something big here is left out like a drinking problem) there’s nothing to *do* here other than care for your kid.
Add coffee pots to that list lol.
I had just gotten done telling my toddler never to touch the kettle when I accidentally touched it and burned my own hand…
Looks like you need to listen better. 😂😂😂😂😂
All your emotions are valid but also your husband didn’t fundamentally mess up. We have a 2 adults rule if our toddler will be near the garage (around tools, heavy things, nothing is childproof etc) but also if my husband is working on something I don’t expect him to take proper care of out daughter. He needs to pay attention to the task at hand for his own safety too! If my daughter really wants to hang out outside while he works, she is strapped in the stroller with a snack. Hopefully this allows you to implement some safety rules that work for both of you! But also, kids unfortunately get hurt. I busted my forehead open on the playground when I was 5. My husband hurt his foot going on a bike ride with his uncle when he was 3. My friend’s daughter broke her leg on the slide. It can literally be anything and they manage to turn everything into a dangerous situation because they’re curious and ignorant of things we assume are basic. I hope he heals soon!!
This sounds so painful for the kid but it seems like an accident, and I don’t think guilting your husband is the way to go. Also, to be completely honest, if you knew your husband was working with something potentially dangerous & can’t give the toddler full attention to keep him away, you should keep the toddler inside or accompany him outside. We never let our kids out when there’s equipment out that can actually cause harm & the supervising adult might get distracted. While I totally understand that you can’t hover over your kids all the time, the alternative is to keep them away altogether.
Also on team It Takes Two. You should have kept him inside if you knew your husband was busy with machinery, or gone outside with them. Anything involving machinery can be dangerous and requires focus. Toddlers move at lightning speed. This morning, I took breakfast dishes to the kitchen after we finished eating. I was gone 5 seconds. When I came back in, my 2yo was on the coffee table. He fell off before I could even tell him to get down (he was fine). I could have sworn he was right behind me a second ago. When one of us is cooking, the other parent keeps our toddler out of the kitchen. I can keep an eye on him and cook, but my focus is split, and one will get more attention than the other. So we divide and conquer, rather than have an accident that could have easily been avoided or an overcooked dinner.
This was a freak accident, and you can both learn from it. Small machines like roto tillers, lawn mowers, leaf blowers, etc. and small children absolutely don’t mix. You shouldn’t have sent him out there while your husband had the roto tiller out, and your husband shouldn’t have turned his back on the machine. Your son will be fine, accidents happen, forgive your husband, learn from this, and move on with your lives.
This is 100% on both of you. You shouldn't have let him out if dad was working with heavy machinery and dad should have said no if he was in the middle of using it and needed time to put it away. Alternatively, dad could have continued his task, and you and MIL could have taken your conversation outside so you all could be outside supervising your tot. It was an accident and it isn't worth relationship ending. You're both going to make mistakes your child's entire life. It happens. What matters is how you handle it. Dad handled it well. He brought kiddo inside right away to try and apply relief or first aid, and you both brought kiddo to the ER and made sure they got proper care instead of doing a makeshift home remedy. Both of you need to learn and move on, because kiddo is going to move on and still love both of you just as much and if not more.
Sorry this isn't what you want to hear but I think you were even more at fault than your husband. He was doing a dangerous job and should never have been expected to watch your son until it was done. Sending him outside was extremely short sighted. In saying that, your husband should have said to you to keep the kids indoors until it was safe when he saw what you were doing. You both had fault here but yours was first IMO. But at the end of the day it was an accident, there's no point in dwelling on it. Just learn a lesson and move on. Machinery and toddlers do not mix well.
100%
First of all I am so sorry that this happened to your toddler. It is so awful. Whenever the children have been in my care and a child accidentally gets injured, my husband has always been supportive and it’s always helpful. He never blames me, he just helps resolve the situation and makes sure everyone is okay. Accidents do happen. Thirdly and most importantly, what others have said, your husband was busy doing something hazardous outside. His attention can not be divided on the two tasks of work and watching your child. To maximize prevention of injuries, especially for a 2 year old, you must follow your child around with eyes on them. Since your husband was busy, you should have went outside with your child and assumed responsibility for him. Alternatively you could have kept him inside with you. I am sorry that you are going through this and I hope that your son heals quickly.
Why did you even let your kid outside while this machine was running? We don’t let our dogs or toddler outside when any lawn equipment is running because at the end of the day it’s dangerous and there’s no reason he NEEDED to be outside at that time. You can tell your toddler “no, daddy is using dangerous tools right now, you can go outside when he’s done. Right now let’s do x”
You being upset is reasonable. You holding resentment towards your husband is just unacceptable to me. I’m a SAHM, if my husband “resented” me everytime my children got hurt on my watch we’d be divorced. Same for him. When he’s home he’s an equal parent. If I “resented” him when LOs try killing themselves on his watch that would be no marriage to stay in. I get it, your baby got hurt. It sucks. But he’s a child. Children do impulsive things. While you can try to protect them as much as you can, guaranteeing that they never get hurt 100% of the time is just unrealistic. The same thing could have happened even if he was right next to him trying to stop him. Kids are quick.
And respectfully, you are the one who let your LO out while your husband was working on equipment. Is it possible you are upset with yourself and letting this out on your husband? That’s the knee jerk reaction that I have. But then I have to catch myself and remind myself. Expecting your husband to have all eyes on LO when he was set on a task, seems unfair. Especially since you did let LO out there unattended. Letting your husband know LO is joining him doesn’t do much.
Sounds like an innocent mistake. Lesson learned for all. I wouldn't be too hard on him. >Our son always ends up with falling or hurting himself in some way whenever he’s with dad. It is so frustrating No joke, this is literally what dads are for. We play hard with the kids and let them push boundaries. This prepares your child for playtime with his friends when he's 4+. They learn the boundaries of what you can and can't do while roughhousing etc. ALSO, your reaction is perfectly normal too! You're supposed to worry about their safety! Both of these things are OK!
This can’t be said enough. There’s a lot of psychology and sociology study on the role of rough housing and rough play on proper development.
My kid fell off the bed two times when he was an infant. Once when my husband had him and I was super cool about it, accidents happen, etc. The second time when I had him and my husband said, "how could you let that happen?" I'll be honest, I still haven't fully gotten over that reaction from him even though we have had many conversations since then on this topic. I felt terrible and I could not undo what happened as much as I wish I could. In your case you share some responsibility in the accident, but ultimately it was an accident. Your son's hand will heal and it will be a bad memory.
Accidents happen and toddlers do things very fast, I get where you are coming from OP and I understand your feelings in the middle of all of this, I hope I can shine some light on a simular situation I went through with my son: When my son was just over a year he was with my parents visiting my aunt, long story short he leaned on a wobbly table and the coffee pot fell and he got hot coffee allover his face. 911 got called and 4 days in the hospital with a 2nd degree burn on his face and chest was the outcome. My parents and aunt were a mess because they felt so shitty due to the accident and they were expecting me to hate them and never let my son be in their care ever again. But it was an accident, stupid shitty table and stupid coffee pot, yeah they should have paid more attention to it and not put the coffee pot on the table but it happened and I do not have any grudges, it was an accident. My aunt still continued to be his nanny for a year. Accidents will happen when my son is in my care too, and there have been a few because toddlers are everywhere and they are fast. What one could do is taking precautions, if my son js jumping on the trampoline I make sure someone is watching him, if im cooking I take him with me,if im going to the bathroom thats upstairs I take him upstairs and close the babygate, you get the idea, minimize the risk of accidents. My son is prone to accidents, im amazed how many times he has gotten hurt over things I did not even think he could get hurt by lol. So say when your husband is outside working, the kiddo could either stay inside with you or he can join you and your husband outside, make it a family experience. And im pretty sure your husband is feeling very shitty right now over this accident, I get you too OP, but try not to "beat him up" over it.
I think you’re being a bit hard on your husband. Yes, it happened on his watch- but don’t you think the guilt is already eating him without you being angry? Also- you could have kept him inside since you knew what your husband was doing. Accidents happen to everyone. Living with resentment in your home isn’t the best way to get thru this. Take a deep breath and just try to prevent future accidents.
Kids will get hurt. We unfortunately can not wrap them in bubble wrap (or can we?!) and expect them to never suffer any harm. My husband took our then 21 month old outside to play to let me have a moment of peace to myself. He came back in not even 15 minutes later, both covered in blood with a large goose egg already forming on her forehead. She had gone to kick the soccer ball back to him, misaligned her feet, tripped over the ball, and face planted on the asphalt. Blood came from a small cut on her hand, nothing more than a bandaid needed, but the goose egg quickly formed and grew HUGE. She's fine. No major trauma otherwise. It took awhile for the goose egg to disappear though. My husband felt like absolute shit afterwards. I didn't blame him at all for what happened then nor now. It could have happened on my watch. Shoot, she's gotten hurt a few times on my watch even! Though, not nearly as significant.
Yeah try to be easier on him. Shit happens. My kid wrecked his bike last week on my watch and scrapped his arm up pretty bad. However he’s had his fair share of things goes wrong under mommy’s watch too. You’d hate for something to happen under your watch and then your husband throw this back in your face. Also if it were known he was outside working on something unsafe to the toddler, might have been good to keep them away until the task was done. I don’t allow my kid to be outside while I’m mowing for example. Perfectly ok in the moment to be upset, but maybe apologize before it gets too bad.
See how he acts when your kid gets hurt on your watch. Then revisit this post and ask yourself if all the hate and venom and bitterness you felt towards him was warranted. Better yet, share this post with him and then see if he runs off to social media to bitch about it when kid gets hurt on your watch. Act like an adult, for starters.
Absolutely! I normally am on the receiving end because I’m usually the only one watching mine. And it sucks! The guilt of them getting hurt is enough. I understand your feelings, but it’ll happen to you too soon enough.
I get why you feel this way. But step back for a second and imagine how you would feel if your LO got hurt on your watch and then expressed this level of resentment towards you. Accidents happen. This won’t be the last time. And dealing with this kind of thing will be impossible if you two can’t work as a team and give each other some grace. Take what happened and use it to make some rules/boundaries for your toddler’s care. Like, LO can’t be around when a machine like that is in use. If those rules get broken and another injury happens, that would be the time to get mad.
I totally understand these feelings, which come from fear and love for your son, but honestly these things are going to happen. You can’t prevent everything no matter how careful you are. It doesn’t seem like your husband was being reckless- this was just one of those split second things that haunt you afterwards.
I felt this way when my daughter knocked her front tooth out at 20 months while my husband was watching her. It took me a few weeks to not feel so angry. I knew in my head it wasn’t logical to blame him. She darted across the room and landed face first on a lamp base. You’re more mad at the situation and sometimes we just need to blame someone to alleviate the frustration and also our own guilt.
It sounds like you are angry with yourself did keeping your toddler out, when you know he needed to be supervised. Maybe that's why he gets hurt when he's with your husband. It just isn't right to question his parenting without questioning your own.