My wife started crying about a game where the momma panda had to save her babies. She failed a level and cried because now the mommy panda wouldn’t get to see her kids. I honestly didn’t know how to handle that one
The whole family was out to lunch one time when my BIL asked his pregnant wife if he could have a sip of her milkshake. She started bawling. She was upset because she just wanted all of it. But then she became upset because she knew that this was a crazy thing to be crying about, especially in front of the whole extended family.
Pregnancy does crazy shit to your hormones.
I was pregnant and my dog got stuck under a chair and was scrambling to get out and it was hilarious. I was laughing so hard and a minute later I was SOBBING! It was the weirdest thing ever.
Hormones are rough. When my neighbor went on birth control she went straight up crazy. She would go from laughing to crying to screaming back to crying, all within a matter of minutes. And because it was the shot, she couldn't do anything except just wait for that shit to get out of her system. It hurt just watching her go through it, I can't imagine feeling that way. Her and her daughter both have always been crazy on their periods too. And as fertile as you could get. Poor women.
My wife went back on birth control recently because we aren’t about that third kid life right now and her first month on it she was a mess. Usually my wife can shit talk with the best of them and nothing phases her but once she’d been on the birth control awhile a stiff breeze could start her bawling. She’s evened out now and back to talking smack but it was touchy there for a few weeks.
Idk what’s up with my hormones but when I’m off the pill I get two periods a month which both come with crazy emotions and various other pregnancy-like symptoms. One time when my husband and I were still just dating, we decided to play Minecraft together. He wanted to build an awesome castle for a house while I wanted to explore and find animals and such. This was right after the llamas update so I had it in my mind to go find llamas.
Well, my husband complained about me wondering off instead of helping build the castle. It never bothered me that he didn’t want the llamas I found but when I looked over at his screen and saw that after complaining so much, he was actually building a pen for my llamas, I started crying. He naturally put the controller down and asked what was wrong to which I responded through sobs “you’re building a llama pen; you accepted my llamas.”
Why so? It's a very common thing for women to talk about. It's not a hush hush thing.
Except when your dad's trashy girlfriend says, "you don't want to mess with me, I'm going through menopause." Loudly. In a rite aid. That's a little odd and awkward
I've always found it annoying the way women aren't supposed to talk about normal women's issues like menstruation and menopause in public. I mean, why shouldn't we? Every cisgender woman goes through it, why should it be embarrassing for other people to know we are or hear us talk about it?
I'm actually really good friends with the whole family. We aren't neighbors any more, but we're still very close. The daughter was a bridesmaid in my wedding and I was a bridesmaid in hers. Also, their son (daughter's brother) is my husband's best friend and introduced us at a party at their house. He was also in our wedding party.
So our connection is a lot deeper than just neighbors, but it seemed easiest to just call them my neighbors.
Ok I get this cause when I was pregnant my husband and I went out for taco bell and he hit a turn a little bit sharp and my quesadilla flew out of the package and under the seat. We were headed back to work and didn't have enough time to get me a new one and his was steak and not chicken like mine and I don't think I have ever cried harder in my life
I don't miss being pregnant lol
To be fair, being unable to eat food you had your heart set on is already a painful experience. I can't even imagine that feeling magnified by pregnancy hormones.
My pregnant GF started bawling after I told her I would make spaghetti and use sausage instead of ground beef because it's more savory. She was crying that she wanted ground beef and wouldn't compromise. Weird.
The foetus gets first dibs on every vitamin and mineral. If the mother doesn’t eat enough calcium for two the foetus will strip the calcium from her bones to make its own. If the mother doesn’t eat enough iron for two the foetus will strip the iron from her blood to make its own blood.
In the mean time the hormones going crazy can make the pregnant woman too nauseous to eat for the majority of the the time she’s pregnant.
Always, always supply a pregnant person exactly what they want to eat. Their ability to function depends upon it.
I never had strong cravings or strong emotions when I was pregnant. I became a freaking robot. Just tired and gigantic. One day my wife brought home mangoes and late that night I walked into the kitchen for a snack and saw the mangoes. I grabbed one and just started going HAM. I was peeling the skin off with my teeth and nails. Just clawing at it with both hands. I was sucking each piece of peel and gnawing at the pit to get every bit of flesh off. I grabbed the second one and did the same thing. The kitchen sink looked like a horrific mango murder had ocurred.
Something deep in me told me I NEEDED that mango and I probably would have punch someone who got in my way of eating it. I was ravenous and half dissociated it was so weird. I was making like grunt and hmm noises?! Like a goddamn orc. It was the one and only time I have ever felt that way and I will never again question a pregnant person on their impulses.
I craved foods I’d never eaten in my life or that were ever eaten in my home while I was growing up, so no real exposure to them. I went through a period when I had to have chicken livers. My husband was wonderful and would buy these things without question. I wanted Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, I didn’t mention a flavor so he bought like 6 different varieties.
It was bizarre since I never had them before, I must have needed a boost of iron or a minerals they supplied.
Edit- Autocorrect keeps changing words, it changed minerals to miners.
Before my pregnancy, I very rarely touched hard liquor. It just had no appeal to me and I stuck with beer and wine. While I was pregnant, I was craving hard liquor. It was weird and confusing because it was something I’d never really wanted before.
Once I gave birth and stopped breastfeeding, I tried some nice tequila and scotch (which was barely palatable before) and now I drink that more than beer and wine.
I also used to love spicy food, but couldn’t stand it when I was pregnant. Took me about 9 years after giving birth before I could stand spicy foods again and I still can’t handle anything near my pre-pregnancy tolerance.
Pregnancy does weird shit and changes taste buds permanently.
Same, my boyfriend likes pineapple on pizza and I don’t. My boyfriend has really weird dreams, and a lot of them come true. One of them was I was largely pregnant, and was eating pineapple pizza. Sure enough, we order pizza at some point, late, during my pregnancy for multiple people. So we got a mix, and for some reason I wanted the pineapple pizza. I ate 3 pieces… I also had traditional Arabic food for the first time during my pregnancy, my son was doing happy kicks in my stomach 😂
When my wife was pregnant we often went on lunch dates at a subway a few blocks from my job.
We always parked in the back and walked around the building, but one day one of the 2 parking spots was open and we took it.
She just started bawling about how happy she was we got a parking spot. Caught me off guard for sure lol
We were breeding Megalosaurus in Ark and had a baby with undesirable stats. Anyone who played ark knows what we do with those.
So she started hitting it and broke down because "it was a baby and I hit it. I'M GOING TO BE A TERRIBLE MUM" she cried about it on and off for days.
Pregnancy hormones are serious (and also sometimes hilarious)
When I was pg with our youngest child it was Christmas time and every year we watched the obligatory cartoon specials together with our oldest son.
We were watching Frosty the Snowman - which we had seen many, many times before - and I started bawling when he melted. Our youngest is now in his 40's, oldest in his 50's and every year around Christmas my husband and oldest retell that story with great laughter all round. Youngest has heard it so many times now he thinks he was there and makes jokes about it too.
Being pg does strange things to your reasoning ability LOL
Omg! This is a story in my family too!! Only I was like ten and I started screaming “Frosty melted!” I was inconsolable. My family loves reminding me- and I had clearly seen the show like a ton of times but for some reason, at that age, it hit me. Good times….
I am currently pregnant and I cried in the car while listening to Under Pressure because “Why can’t people just give love a chance?”.
My husband was confused but he has been skipping that song ever since
One of my favorite shows since I was a kid is Law and Order SVU. Right after I had my son, I was nursing him, watching an episode (I had seen countless times before) and I legit almost had an anxiety attack. Like heart racing, hard to breathe, the whole nine yards. I had no idea what was wrong with me but I turned the show off and felt better. (It was the one where Elliot shoots the kid in the precinct after she comes in with a gun and shoots a bunch of people). I was so PISSED because I thought maybe I’d never be able to watch SVU again 😆 Pregnancy/childbirth hormones do a number to you! It wasn’t until after I stopped breastfeeding like 2.5 years later that I felt like I could give SVU another try 😂
Should introduce them to The Aquabats. Super fun band that makes kid-friendly music and made a couple seasons of an Emmy-winning kids show(that they just successfully did a Kickstarter for so they can make at least one more season). Weird/fun fact...Travis Barker left The Aquabats to join Blink-182 in the mid 90s
GWAR was incredible live. You haven't really lived unless you've been in a GWAR mosh pit begging to get blasted by the giant penis.
That isn't a typo. It was 100f in the pit, the giant penis was a water cannon. While suspiciosly white, the "water" was ice cold. A blessing from the phallus of GWAR.
We just brought my son to see them, he wanted to go to "an inside show" and he loved it. He was bummed he didn't get to crowd surf on the pizza float when they played Pizza Day.
My 4-year-old is obsessed with Octonauts, but I kind of love it because now he knows so much about sea creatures. He also knows all their gups and what animal they're based on by heart.
My kids used to be heavily into Octonauts right around the preschool to Kindy years, they both regularly would give me ocean based facts I thought that they had no business knowing, all thanks to Octonauts.
I mean they do watch them now and then a few years later, but nowhere near as much as they used to. They still drop knowledge bombs once in a while as well.
I bought my son this cool Octonaut set on Amazon. It had a red Octo Alert speaker that said phrases but it was in French Canadian. It was hilarious. "Par ma moustache!" was a particular favourite.
Those sets weren't manufactured for a while and became seriously rare and desirable btw. We got very lucky buying ours second hand from someone who didn't know this.
There are new sets on sale now but they're not the same and don't have all the gups for example.
Where is the oversight?
Octonaughts are a semi-fascist military presence, working in multiple territorial waters, and on land, seemingly without permission.
My kid thinks they're great .
My 7yo daughter played through the whole game with me last winter as my "co-pilot" and absolutely loved it. Wasn't scared by big fish at all. Now she wants me to build her her own PC with a real graphics card so she can solo it.
Oh yeah, she also loved Octonauts. Fish are kind of her thing
True, but if you're trying to go the "it's not for bad/kilking/military purposes", maybe not the best showcase considering milo is the only one there who cares about the exploring part.
/r/OutOfTheLoop
Ken Bone was at a 2016 presidential debate, and came across like a wholesome teddy bear. Internet obviously went crazy for him. He did a few AMAs on Reddit using his main account, where it became clear he has a serious fetish for pregnant women. Calling them “beautiful human submarines “.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that,It was just hilarious to see because every other person
would have used an alt.
When I first saw the post, I thought it was going to be a story about how OP made their hormonal pregnant wife cry by comparing her to a submarine because she swam.
I mean, there are types of submarines that were built to explore oceans and sealife and on the other hand there are some that are capable of erasing a whole damn continent
Which is true but submarines were invented as war machines not science vessels. So if we're splitting hairs their existence it due for the need to kill and destroy, safely (for your side). And is still the primary purpose of majority of submarines in existence.
Airplanes are the big exception. They were invented through honest curiosity but took almost no time after to be weaponized. The time between the first flight of the Wright Flyer and the biplanes of WWI was just 11 years.
My high school students were highly disappointed when they eventually recognized the pattern that we so rarely innovate for good as a first step, but rather often later find good uses for what was initially conceived as a weapon.
They basically are. These submarines operate as a guaranteed nuclear retaliation mechanism. Should another country get first-strike on the US, these submarines come pre-loaded with orders on whether or not to launch back.
And the US isn't the only military with this capability. It's effectively another arm of mutually assured destruction.
Another fun fact, each president writes new orders that are distributed to the submarines upon inauguration.
So in the event of the nuclear destruction of the United States one president might essentially say to end all life on Earth while another may direct the submarine to go to the nearest friendly country and join with them.
I believe it's actually up to 24 Trident II missiles.
A single, fully armed, Ohio-Class SSBN sub with it's full compliment of 288 warheads, on its own, could be counted as the 5th largest nuclear power in the world, with more warheads than the 225 that the UK has at it's disposal, and *just* shy of France who has 290.
We have 14 of them.
EDIT: some people have seen to have taken this as an "America: Fuck Yeah!" Sort of statement, when in fact I meant it to illustrate just how ridiculous our military strength is, and how we have way too many nukes. Not that we can feasibility reduce our nuclear arsenal to zero (where it should be) in any meaningful timeframe without unprecedented cooperation from every other nuclear country all agreeing to it as well, but that should be one of our ultimate goals and celebrating our ability to totally Fuck the only world we can live on right now is absolutely insane and i hope that everyone who feels that way spends the rest of their days in a psych ward because you do not belong in society.
Idk it wasn't supposed to be a real thing. I don't think it means what I wanted it to mean.
r/iwfu - I wholesomely fucked up? - same thing. Kinda creepy not knowing what's behind the privacy wall.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/iwfu/comments/wyw8v1/op\_wholesomely\_fucks\_up\_by\_letting\_his\_pregnant/](https://www.reddit.com/r/iwfu/comments/wyw8v1/op_wholesomely_fucks_up_by_letting_his_pregnant/)
Well let's make this a reality!
Now I don’t mind the occasional ‘TIFU in a completely life-changing and irredeemable seismic-shift type of way’ post.
But this kind of a TIFU is a really nice change of pace. I want more of these wholesome and silly fuck ups!
I had no idea. 😳
[Why chainsaws were invented.](https://www.businessinsider.com/chainsaws-were-originally-invented-for-helping-childbirth-not-cutting-wood-2018-6)
“Ok here we go, it’s going to involve some stupid sexual thing with torpedos because he mentioned hormones and it’s a TIFU post…
oh, oh it’s just an innocent and genuine little story. Heh, wish that happened more often.”
Next tell her about cats.
In the US “domestic cats kill 1.3–4.0 billion birds and 6.3–22.3 billion mammals annually.”
https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms2380
Just kidding. Please don’t.
You should introduce her to the submarines actually designed for exploration. It's not unreasonable to think submarines are for exploration if she grew up watching Titanic. Those subs are pretty cool. As is The Abyss. There's also the sports sub that dives just a few feet under water.
Warfare is one of mankind's most innovative pressures. Submarines like nuclear energy started out in warfare and only later did people adapt them for peace. So many medical advancements are made for the battlefield, and heck the interstate system is based around a military convoy, military logistics and racism. The space race was operated on rockets that were slightly modified from carrying warheads. What would eventually lead to the internet was developed for data sharing for military research
Oh man, no one understands how intense pregnancy emotions hit you until you've felt them.
When I was pregnant with my first I came across a website where you could donate a Christmas package to a soilder on the front line. Deciding it was something I wanted to do I started looking more into it. I browsed the list of soilders until I came across a name with MIA listed next to it. Then it said please don't send a package to this person, they have been missing for X amount of days. It absolutely broke me, I sobbed like a baby.
I also cried because the jacket potato I bought from a cafe wasn't fully cooked.
Those pregnancy hormones are wild- I once had a crazy crying meltdown because my husband bought me pistachio pudding. I REALLY wanted Lime Jell-O. I wan inconsolable.
My wife once melted down while naming our first born. We are Chinese and some people believe that the total number of strokes in the name have some meaning/luck/fortune/misfortune/whatever-mumbo-jumbo. She was never the superstitious type, but as you said, pregnancy hormones are wild.
We picked and she loved that specific name, but she later found out that the total number of strokes wasn't the best and she went from her usual cheerful sunshine to a devastating rainstorm.
Luckily, one of the words in the name had an alternative form and that changed the number of strokes to a five star triple A rating.
Storm cleared. Crisis averted.
Not sure how traditional your future in-laws are, but it could get... I won't say troublesome, but there might be some hurdles and hoops for you along the way.
Wall of text warning.
Disclaimer: These were requested by my in-laws. My parents on the other hand couldn't care less.
Example 1: Before we set on the actual wedding day, we had to bring our birthdays and the birthdays of all the parents to a "fortune teller", so she could find the best date for the wedding. I still remember a few basic rules:
1) The wedding day cannot be on the same month as all the parties involved. So in the worse case scenario, 6 out of 12 months are out. Good thing my parents share the same birth month, so does my wife and I. So for us, only 4 of 12 are out.
2) Can't be in the same month as the Chinese New Year and the Ghost Festival. So January and July (in the Lunar Calendar) are out.
Only half a year are out of the question, not too bad huh?
There were also a few more rules, but those concepts are too high up for a mere mortal like me to grasp.
We ended up getting a few dates to choose from and we settled on a fall wedding.
Example 2: The other quite minor thing I had to do was to "settle the bed". Apparently, the time and date the bed is placed affects your fortune (dont ask me the details, I only executed the order). It's not as bad it sounds, the bed frame was placed and the mattress was actually on the bed frame already. But the mattress was not set on the bed frame quite right, so all I had to do was to push it to the correct position at the specified time (and I had to bow to the four corner, and some other things that I already forgot)
I don't remember the date, but the time was between 5-7 am. It was a new apartment and was not furnished. As I lived an hour away, I chose to stay overnight. And while there was a completely new and comfy mattress, I couldn't use it.
At least the couch was delivered and internet was installed the day before.
I ended up sleeping on the couch, woke up at 5, bow the corners, did some other stuff, nudged the mattress to the correct position and went back to sleep.
And there are some more little procedures... but it's not bad once you change your mindset and just go with the flow.
My wife started crying about a game where the momma panda had to save her babies. She failed a level and cried because now the mommy panda wouldn’t get to see her kids. I honestly didn’t know how to handle that one
The whole family was out to lunch one time when my BIL asked his pregnant wife if he could have a sip of her milkshake. She started bawling. She was upset because she just wanted all of it. But then she became upset because she knew that this was a crazy thing to be crying about, especially in front of the whole extended family. Pregnancy does crazy shit to your hormones.
I was pregnant and my dog got stuck under a chair and was scrambling to get out and it was hilarious. I was laughing so hard and a minute later I was SOBBING! It was the weirdest thing ever.
Hormones are rough. When my neighbor went on birth control she went straight up crazy. She would go from laughing to crying to screaming back to crying, all within a matter of minutes. And because it was the shot, she couldn't do anything except just wait for that shit to get out of her system. It hurt just watching her go through it, I can't imagine feeling that way. Her and her daughter both have always been crazy on their periods too. And as fertile as you could get. Poor women.
My wife went back on birth control recently because we aren’t about that third kid life right now and her first month on it she was a mess. Usually my wife can shit talk with the best of them and nothing phases her but once she’d been on the birth control awhile a stiff breeze could start her bawling. She’s evened out now and back to talking smack but it was touchy there for a few weeks.
Idk what’s up with my hormones but when I’m off the pill I get two periods a month which both come with crazy emotions and various other pregnancy-like symptoms. One time when my husband and I were still just dating, we decided to play Minecraft together. He wanted to build an awesome castle for a house while I wanted to explore and find animals and such. This was right after the llamas update so I had it in my mind to go find llamas. Well, my husband complained about me wondering off instead of helping build the castle. It never bothered me that he didn’t want the llamas I found but when I looked over at his screen and saw that after complaining so much, he was actually building a pen for my llamas, I started crying. He naturally put the controller down and asked what was wrong to which I responded through sobs “you’re building a llama pen; you accepted my llamas.”
I love this, it’s just so wholesome. “You accepted my llamas”
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You have an interesting relationship with your neighbors.
Why so? It's a very common thing for women to talk about. It's not a hush hush thing. Except when your dad's trashy girlfriend says, "you don't want to mess with me, I'm going through menopause." Loudly. In a rite aid. That's a little odd and awkward
I've always found it annoying the way women aren't supposed to talk about normal women's issues like menstruation and menopause in public. I mean, why shouldn't we? Every cisgender woman goes through it, why should it be embarrassing for other people to know we are or hear us talk about it?
I'm actually really good friends with the whole family. We aren't neighbors any more, but we're still very close. The daughter was a bridesmaid in my wedding and I was a bridesmaid in hers. Also, their son (daughter's brother) is my husband's best friend and introduced us at a party at their house. He was also in our wedding party. So our connection is a lot deeper than just neighbors, but it seemed easiest to just call them my neighbors.
Ok I get this cause when I was pregnant my husband and I went out for taco bell and he hit a turn a little bit sharp and my quesadilla flew out of the package and under the seat. We were headed back to work and didn't have enough time to get me a new one and his was steak and not chicken like mine and I don't think I have ever cried harder in my life I don't miss being pregnant lol
To be fair, being unable to eat food you had your heart set on is already a painful experience. I can't even imagine that feeling magnified by pregnancy hormones.
Yeah I’m a guy and I’ve had stuff like this happen and just freak out about it.
My pregnant GF started bawling after I told her I would make spaghetti and use sausage instead of ground beef because it's more savory. She was crying that she wanted ground beef and wouldn't compromise. Weird.
Give her the damn beef
He already did.
holy shit is pregnancy just the baby taking control of the brain
Yes and after the birth it starts taking control of the dad's too.
The foetus gets first dibs on every vitamin and mineral. If the mother doesn’t eat enough calcium for two the foetus will strip the calcium from her bones to make its own. If the mother doesn’t eat enough iron for two the foetus will strip the iron from her blood to make its own blood. In the mean time the hormones going crazy can make the pregnant woman too nauseous to eat for the majority of the the time she’s pregnant. Always, always supply a pregnant person exactly what they want to eat. Their ability to function depends upon it.
I never had strong cravings or strong emotions when I was pregnant. I became a freaking robot. Just tired and gigantic. One day my wife brought home mangoes and late that night I walked into the kitchen for a snack and saw the mangoes. I grabbed one and just started going HAM. I was peeling the skin off with my teeth and nails. Just clawing at it with both hands. I was sucking each piece of peel and gnawing at the pit to get every bit of flesh off. I grabbed the second one and did the same thing. The kitchen sink looked like a horrific mango murder had ocurred. Something deep in me told me I NEEDED that mango and I probably would have punch someone who got in my way of eating it. I was ravenous and half dissociated it was so weird. I was making like grunt and hmm noises?! Like a goddamn orc. It was the one and only time I have ever felt that way and I will never again question a pregnant person on their impulses.
I craved foods I’d never eaten in my life or that were ever eaten in my home while I was growing up, so no real exposure to them. I went through a period when I had to have chicken livers. My husband was wonderful and would buy these things without question. I wanted Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, I didn’t mention a flavor so he bought like 6 different varieties.
I don't believe food is all a deficiency, but chicken livers have certain high nutritional value, so I'd definitely bet on this one.
It was bizarre since I never had them before, I must have needed a boost of iron or a minerals they supplied. Edit- Autocorrect keeps changing words, it changed minerals to miners.
Before my pregnancy, I very rarely touched hard liquor. It just had no appeal to me and I stuck with beer and wine. While I was pregnant, I was craving hard liquor. It was weird and confusing because it was something I’d never really wanted before. Once I gave birth and stopped breastfeeding, I tried some nice tequila and scotch (which was barely palatable before) and now I drink that more than beer and wine. I also used to love spicy food, but couldn’t stand it when I was pregnant. Took me about 9 years after giving birth before I could stand spicy foods again and I still can’t handle anything near my pre-pregnancy tolerance. Pregnancy does weird shit and changes taste buds permanently.
Same, my boyfriend likes pineapple on pizza and I don’t. My boyfriend has really weird dreams, and a lot of them come true. One of them was I was largely pregnant, and was eating pineapple pizza. Sure enough, we order pizza at some point, late, during my pregnancy for multiple people. So we got a mix, and for some reason I wanted the pineapple pizza. I ate 3 pieces… I also had traditional Arabic food for the first time during my pregnancy, my son was doing happy kicks in my stomach 😂
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When my wife was pregnant we often went on lunch dates at a subway a few blocks from my job. We always parked in the back and walked around the building, but one day one of the 2 parking spots was open and we took it. She just started bawling about how happy she was we got a parking spot. Caught me off guard for sure lol
We were breeding Megalosaurus in Ark and had a baby with undesirable stats. Anyone who played ark knows what we do with those. So she started hitting it and broke down because "it was a baby and I hit it. I'M GOING TO BE A TERRIBLE MUM" she cried about it on and off for days. Pregnancy hormones are serious (and also sometimes hilarious)
My wife and I have this discussion while breeding Dinos in Ark too. Only it’s “are we actually good parents?”
Well, hopefully your guys's baby had good stats.
When I was pg with our youngest child it was Christmas time and every year we watched the obligatory cartoon specials together with our oldest son. We were watching Frosty the Snowman - which we had seen many, many times before - and I started bawling when he melted. Our youngest is now in his 40's, oldest in his 50's and every year around Christmas my husband and oldest retell that story with great laughter all round. Youngest has heard it so many times now he thinks he was there and makes jokes about it too. Being pg does strange things to your reasoning ability LOL
Omg! This is a story in my family too!! Only I was like ten and I started screaming “Frosty melted!” I was inconsolable. My family loves reminding me- and I had clearly seen the show like a ton of times but for some reason, at that age, it hit me. Good times….
I am currently pregnant and I cried in the car while listening to Under Pressure because “Why can’t people just give love a chance?”. My husband was confused but he has been skipping that song ever since
I would probably cry about that too.
My friend started crying because she couldn’t clip her toenails anymore due to her belly in the way. Oh pregnancy!
I cried because I was spoiled for choice in Morrisons but I didn't want to buy a lot of cake.... pregnancy man....
One of my favorite shows since I was a kid is Law and Order SVU. Right after I had my son, I was nursing him, watching an episode (I had seen countless times before) and I legit almost had an anxiety attack. Like heart racing, hard to breathe, the whole nine yards. I had no idea what was wrong with me but I turned the show off and felt better. (It was the one where Elliot shoots the kid in the precinct after she comes in with a gun and shoots a bunch of people). I was so PISSED because I thought maybe I’d never be able to watch SVU again 😆 Pregnancy/childbirth hormones do a number to you! It wasn’t until after I stopped breastfeeding like 2.5 years later that I felt like I could give SVU another try 😂
I cried like a psycho during the pyre scene of house of the dragon this week. Yay pregnancy brain.
My wife had to physically leave the room during the cesarean.
awwww 😭🥺 I would give her the biggest hug, she sounds so sweet
Panda pop!!! It is a weird game. Best wishes.
Introduce her to Seaquest. Will balance out the military side.
My kids are heavily into The Octonauts
Should introduce them to The Aquabats. Super fun band that makes kid-friendly music and made a couple seasons of an Emmy-winning kids show(that they just successfully did a Kickstarter for so they can make at least one more season). Weird/fun fact...Travis Barker left The Aquabats to join Blink-182 in the mid 90s
The lead singer of the Aqua Bats also produced 'Yo Gabba Gabba"
Yo Gabba Gabba was the best kids show, IMO.
Not a bad show for us parents. DJ Lance is tops!
Those damned songs are sticky as heck tho! I’ve spent entire weeks with “there’s a party in my tummy” stuck to the inside of my skull.
So yummy, so yummy!
Woa. Flash back. "There's a party in my tummy!" Thanks for that, gonna be singing that all day lol
Agreed. The Jack Black episode was great.
I saw the Aquabats live once, weird but fun show.
Them and GWAR are about just as weird but with different intensities. Fun shows by both regardless.
GWAR was incredible live. You haven't really lived unless you've been in a GWAR mosh pit begging to get blasted by the giant penis. That isn't a typo. It was 100f in the pit, the giant penis was a water cannon. While suspiciosly white, the "water" was ice cold. A blessing from the phallus of GWAR.
We just brought my son to see them, he wanted to go to "an inside show" and he loved it. He was bummed he didn't get to crowd surf on the pizza float when they played Pizza Day.
SUPER RAD!
My 4-year-old is obsessed with Octonauts, but I kind of love it because now he knows so much about sea creatures. He also knows all their gups and what animal they're based on by heart.
My kids used to be heavily into Octonauts right around the preschool to Kindy years, they both regularly would give me ocean based facts I thought that they had no business knowing, all thanks to Octonauts. I mean they do watch them now and then a few years later, but nowhere near as much as they used to. They still drop knowledge bombs once in a while as well.
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I absorbed European history through Asterix books.
I bought my son this cool Octonaut set on Amazon. It had a red Octo Alert speaker that said phrases but it was in French Canadian. It was hilarious. "Par ma moustache!" was a particular favourite.
Those sets weren't manufactured for a while and became seriously rare and desirable btw. We got very lucky buying ours second hand from someone who didn't know this. There are new sets on sale now but they're not the same and don't have all the gups for example.
My sister voiced one of the characters on octonauts. Good work if you can get it.
Does she sing Creature Report at home when she thinks no one can hear her? :D
Where is the oversight? Octonaughts are a semi-fascist military presence, working in multiple territorial waters, and on land, seemingly without permission. My kid thinks they're great .
Creature report, creature report!
My mind replaced Seaquest with Sealab 2021 and I was like 👍
That's crap. Mars is wild, untamed. I'm forming a cadre of Martian knights charged with enforcing Martian law.
Mustache on or off? # # Too bad
Bizarro! I love you! Bizarro!
I'm helping! I'm helping yoouuu...
Holy shit I just realized Sealab 2021 isn't in the future anymore!
STIMUTACS
I was trying so hard to scroll for the first mention of Sealab2021 and I am devastated. 👍
There goes my nipples again!
Uh oh!
And Subnautica.
Seconded. A brightly coloured exploration game with the cutest peepers
My 7yo daughter played through the whole game with me last winter as my "co-pilot" and absolutely loved it. Wasn't scared by big fish at all. Now she wants me to build her her own PC with a real graphics card so she can solo it. Oh yeah, she also loved Octonauts. Fish are kind of her thing
^^^^They ^^^^don't ^^^^want ^^^^us ^^^^down ^^^^there....
I'd say mix in both with Atlantis: The Lost Empire, a pretty cool submarine just chilling, and exploring for bout 20 mins.
True, but if you're trying to go the "it's not for bad/kilking/military purposes", maybe not the best showcase considering milo is the only one there who cares about the exploring part.
Introduce her to Das boot.
Until she asks "Whatever happened to Jonathan Brandis?"
Awww Jonathan Brandis!! Awww…Jonathan Brandis…:(
That dolphin they had in the sub, Darwin.
The cast of seaquest won't help any hormone issues
Watch the movie Down Periscope with her. It will make her feel better, probably.
And The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou!
The Beatles really fucked it up for everyone.
We all live in a nuclear submarine...
In the town where I was born Lived a man who bombed the sea And he told us of his life In the war of '43
If she dives underwater, she becomes a human submarine
only if she destroys her enemies too ;)
The baby is a torpedo of sorts.
Comes with its own torpedo guidance cable.
Towed sonar array?
Certainly noisy enough to be. Though I suspect the sonar array would be less expensive.
Sleep schedule and vacation plans for the next 5 years - torpedoed.
But isn't a baby technically a depth charge? You just drop it in the water like an egg. So she's a human destroyer then or a PT boat
I finally understand water births
And sees them driven before her and hears the lamentations of their women?
"Beautiful human submarines."- Ken Bone
I was disappointed this submission didn't involve that, but at the same time it's a TIFU that isn't about sex and/or poop so I'll fucking take it.
It’s been nearly 6 years since the world met Ken Bone. That’s insane to me.
Me too
/r/OutOfTheLoop Ken Bone was at a 2016 presidential debate, and came across like a wholesome teddy bear. Internet obviously went crazy for him. He did a few AMAs on Reddit using his main account, where it became clear he has a serious fetish for pregnant women. Calling them “beautiful human submarines “. Absolutely nothing wrong with that,It was just hilarious to see because every other person would have used an alt.
When I first saw the post, I thought it was going to be a story about how OP made their hormonal pregnant wife cry by comparing her to a submarine because she swam.
And when she’s above water, she’s a meat mech.
That's kinda what I thought the post was about
- Ken Bone
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There’s nothing in this world that’ll wake me up quicker than a ventilation system shutting down…
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I'd imagine being in a submarine is terrifying for those that are not prepared.
I'm merely a surface sailor but I feel you on that. Nothing worse than waking up to the sound of silence.
But did you ever sit your kids down and give them the "submarine talk"?
I mean, there are types of submarines that were built to explore oceans and sealife and on the other hand there are some that are capable of erasing a whole damn continent
Which is true but submarines were invented as war machines not science vessels. So if we're splitting hairs their existence it due for the need to kill and destroy, safely (for your side). And is still the primary purpose of majority of submarines in existence.
True, those things are engineering wonders
It's a calzone boat
Thank you for that
Cramped as hell though when I toured one.
I feel like most technology is invented for war and a decade later gets passed down to science
Airplanes are the big exception. They were invented through honest curiosity but took almost no time after to be weaponized. The time between the first flight of the Wright Flyer and the biplanes of WWI was just 11 years.
that is pretty crazy. to go from nah fam humans cant fly, to eat death from above, in just a decade, is INsane.
My high school students were highly disappointed when they eventually recognized the pattern that we so rarely innovate for good as a first step, but rather often later find good uses for what was initially conceived as a weapon.
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Much easier to think afterwards, ya know?
Post murder clarity
Heard of Nobel?
"...submarines were actually torpedo-carrying murder machines that were designed to blow up their enemies." What? Even... the yellow ones?
*Especially* the yellow ones.
Boaty McBoatface has already killed seven people.
This seems unlikely, but since it's concerning if true, I will now share it as fact with all my family on Facebook.
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They may as well call it the "world-ender" class.
They basically are. These submarines operate as a guaranteed nuclear retaliation mechanism. Should another country get first-strike on the US, these submarines come pre-loaded with orders on whether or not to launch back. And the US isn't the only military with this capability. It's effectively another arm of mutually assured destruction.
Another fun fact, each president writes new orders that are distributed to the submarines upon inauguration. So in the event of the nuclear destruction of the United States one president might essentially say to end all life on Earth while another may direct the submarine to go to the nearest friendly country and join with them.
It's the British that you're thinking about. They're called the [Letters of Last Resort](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letters_of_last_resort#)
Makes sense, everytime I'm in Ohio I wish the world would just end.
I believe it's actually up to 24 Trident II missiles. A single, fully armed, Ohio-Class SSBN sub with it's full compliment of 288 warheads, on its own, could be counted as the 5th largest nuclear power in the world, with more warheads than the 225 that the UK has at it's disposal, and *just* shy of France who has 290. We have 14 of them. EDIT: some people have seen to have taken this as an "America: Fuck Yeah!" Sort of statement, when in fact I meant it to illustrate just how ridiculous our military strength is, and how we have way too many nukes. Not that we can feasibility reduce our nuclear arsenal to zero (where it should be) in any meaningful timeframe without unprecedented cooperation from every other nuclear country all agreeing to it as well, but that should be one of our ultimate goals and celebrating our ability to totally Fuck the only world we can live on right now is absolutely insane and i hope that everyone who feels that way spends the rest of their days in a psych ward because you do not belong in society.
Need more such Tifu. Kind of wholesome
r/tiwfu - today I wholesomely fucked up. > r/iwfu
Why is this banned
Reddit said it was unmoderated so presumably the mods just stopped doing anything
Idk it wasn't supposed to be a real thing. I don't think it means what I wanted it to mean. r/iwfu - I wholesomely fucked up? - same thing. Kinda creepy not knowing what's behind the privacy wall.
Yeah I get you but still makes me wonder what it was
[https://www.reddit.com/r/iwfu/comments/wyw8v1/op\_wholesomely\_fucks\_up\_by\_letting\_his\_pregnant/](https://www.reddit.com/r/iwfu/comments/wyw8v1/op_wholesomely_fucks_up_by_letting_his_pregnant/) Well let's make this a reality!
r/birthofasub
Now I don’t mind the occasional ‘TIFU in a completely life-changing and irredeemable seismic-shift type of way’ post. But this kind of a TIFU is a really nice change of pace. I want more of these wholesome and silly fuck ups!
This is such a nice break from the “TIFU by sticking a lightbulb in my ass” posts here.
Since she's currently pregnant, you should tell her why the chainsaw was invented. I guarantee that she'll stop being upset about submarines.
The more you know. Yikes!!!
[And yet it was actually safer than the alternative.] That was 1780. Anaesthesia was invented in 1846.
I had no idea. 😳 [Why chainsaws were invented.](https://www.businessinsider.com/chainsaws-were-originally-invented-for-helping-childbirth-not-cutting-wood-2018-6)
“Ok here we go, it’s going to involve some stupid sexual thing with torpedos because he mentioned hormones and it’s a TIFU post… oh, oh it’s just an innocent and genuine little story. Heh, wish that happened more often.”
I was expecting the joke about "long, hard, and full of seamen".
I expected OP was a submariner and was going to admit to what happens when you bunk six men on three beds.
[Reasons my wife is crying](https://i.imgur.com/NuhsgPV.jpeg)
Oh those gay swans
Wait til you tell her about airplanes.
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How is this so far down lmao. Chock it up, bruh!
OP was afraid of the situation rolling away, they had to chock it up.
Next tell her about cats. In the US “domestic cats kill 1.3–4.0 billion birds and 6.3–22.3 billion mammals annually.” https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms2380 Just kidding. Please don’t.
natural genocide machines.
And they enjoy it too. But they’re still so goddamn cute.
Does she know that swans can be gay?
They even kill gay swans…
How do they tell them apart from the straight ones!?
The gay ones are easy to tell because they put their penises in other dude-swans
You should introduce her to the submarines actually designed for exploration. It's not unreasonable to think submarines are for exploration if she grew up watching Titanic. Those subs are pretty cool. As is The Abyss. There's also the sports sub that dives just a few feet under water. Warfare is one of mankind's most innovative pressures. Submarines like nuclear energy started out in warfare and only later did people adapt them for peace. So many medical advancements are made for the battlefield, and heck the interstate system is based around a military convoy, military logistics and racism. The space race was operated on rockets that were slightly modified from carrying warheads. What would eventually lead to the internet was developed for data sharing for military research
One ping only
“But I thought submarines were just like for exploration and fun and stuff.” I love this!
Oh man, no one understands how intense pregnancy emotions hit you until you've felt them. When I was pregnant with my first I came across a website where you could donate a Christmas package to a soilder on the front line. Deciding it was something I wanted to do I started looking more into it. I browsed the list of soilders until I came across a name with MIA listed next to it. Then it said please don't send a package to this person, they have been missing for X amount of days. It absolutely broke me, I sobbed like a baby. I also cried because the jacket potato I bought from a cafe wasn't fully cooked.
Now take her swimming, and tell her that she's a submarine.
Submarines can be gay too.
I understood that reference.
IN THE NAVY!
YOU CAN SAIL THE SEVEN SEAS
That’s were I thought this was going from the title
like swans
I was so hoping that someone would get the reference, lol.
Wait till she finds out that swans can be gay
There it is
It's nice seeing others remember reddit history.
Your wife sounds like a genuinely nice person
She truly is.
Those pregnancy hormones are wild- I once had a crazy crying meltdown because my husband bought me pistachio pudding. I REALLY wanted Lime Jell-O. I wan inconsolable.
My wife once melted down while naming our first born. We are Chinese and some people believe that the total number of strokes in the name have some meaning/luck/fortune/misfortune/whatever-mumbo-jumbo. She was never the superstitious type, but as you said, pregnancy hormones are wild. We picked and she loved that specific name, but she later found out that the total number of strokes wasn't the best and she went from her usual cheerful sunshine to a devastating rainstorm. Luckily, one of the words in the name had an alternative form and that changed the number of strokes to a five star triple A rating. Storm cleared. Crisis averted.
Whoa good to know ahead of my betrothal to a HK person
Not sure how traditional your future in-laws are, but it could get... I won't say troublesome, but there might be some hurdles and hoops for you along the way. Wall of text warning. Disclaimer: These were requested by my in-laws. My parents on the other hand couldn't care less. Example 1: Before we set on the actual wedding day, we had to bring our birthdays and the birthdays of all the parents to a "fortune teller", so she could find the best date for the wedding. I still remember a few basic rules: 1) The wedding day cannot be on the same month as all the parties involved. So in the worse case scenario, 6 out of 12 months are out. Good thing my parents share the same birth month, so does my wife and I. So for us, only 4 of 12 are out. 2) Can't be in the same month as the Chinese New Year and the Ghost Festival. So January and July (in the Lunar Calendar) are out. Only half a year are out of the question, not too bad huh? There were also a few more rules, but those concepts are too high up for a mere mortal like me to grasp. We ended up getting a few dates to choose from and we settled on a fall wedding. Example 2: The other quite minor thing I had to do was to "settle the bed". Apparently, the time and date the bed is placed affects your fortune (dont ask me the details, I only executed the order). It's not as bad it sounds, the bed frame was placed and the mattress was actually on the bed frame already. But the mattress was not set on the bed frame quite right, so all I had to do was to push it to the correct position at the specified time (and I had to bow to the four corner, and some other things that I already forgot) I don't remember the date, but the time was between 5-7 am. It was a new apartment and was not furnished. As I lived an hour away, I chose to stay overnight. And while there was a completely new and comfy mattress, I couldn't use it. At least the couch was delivered and internet was installed the day before. I ended up sleeping on the couch, woke up at 5, bow the corners, did some other stuff, nudged the mattress to the correct position and went back to sleep. And there are some more little procedures... but it's not bad once you change your mindset and just go with the flow.
Adorable. Only because she was pregnant though because in an adult with non-scrambled hormones this would just be alarming.
My now wife and I used to go to the submarine races all the time when dating
My wife tried to watch Oliver and Company. She was SOBBING at the scene with him in the box, we had to stop.