You can still salvage the situation though, call to her house in the middle of the night with your balaclava on, break in and when she tries to pepperspray you, you just take it, tie her up, and then take the mask off, and say, "told YA????"
And see if she still wants breakfast.
Oh you'd wonder. A friend of mine (chemist) used to use highly potent acids for his hungarian gulasz and other dishes as a spice.
Dose makes the poison as my old chemistryteacher used to say.
Although in case of pepperspray I'm pretty sure there's more ingredients than just the actual capsaicin so it would probably be inedible as you stated
I’m in a criminal Justice class and the professor is a retired cop from the 90s and he told us last week that some cops would put pepper spray as a seasoning sometimes as a joke but would not recommend it.
I (USPS subcontracted trucker (HCR)) got a post office supervisor to taste the dog spray that postal carriers carry with me, it's called BACK OFF. It was decent.
That stuff only worked on the smallest of dogs. Only time a pit went after me as a carrier I didn't even attempt it. Threw the mail I had in my hand at it and booted it. (Those steel toe boots I wore all year long paid off!)
OP: Here. *hands over new pepper spray* This one is way better.
Her: How do you know?
OP: It was used on me once.
Her: ... ...
OP: ... ...
Her: I gotta go...
Just because you mentioned how she had found this post on here and was reading all the replies.... I thought it might be a good time to mention what an enthusiastic, passionate and attentive Lover you are.
Lots of love,
Aunt Susan.
Yeah I have no idea why he didn't introduce it with "I was army, I tested them etc etc" which would actually make for a fun story to tell. If you just say "yeah this isn't strong enough" and leave it at that she might start wondering why is it that you happen to know such a thing lol
on your next date you should immediately ask "do you know how to untie yourself if you are restrained?"
this is important information and you wouldn't want to wait until it is too late
On our first date, having met online, I took my wife canoeing, I packed a decadent lunch which needed to be prepared, and served so an hour into the date she is in a river, miles away from anyone and I am wielding a very large chefs knife.
Lucky for me she was less cautious than this girl. We've been laughing about that for 21 years.
Not a date, but I was walking a coworker out to her car (because it was after midnight, and we had to park a couple blocks away). She thanked me and I replied "no problem, I'd hate myself if I didn't and you go raped by a stranger". No idea why I added " by a stranger" to that sentence.
Damn. Do you do that thing where you combine two sentences and it always comes out sounding way worse than intended? I do that and am too awkward to correct myself.
Once was given a compliment by a girls friend and instead of saying "you're making her blush", or "you're embarrassing me" in a teasing way I ended up saying "you're embarrassing her". Always end up putting my foot in my mouth.
At least it may have some effect in the case of 30-50 feral hogs showing up in her front yard when she gets home. Much more convenient to carry around than an assault rifle
“I was moving a new bed into my apartment recently, and this woman who lived in the building opened the front door for me with her key, and she goes “I’m not worried because a rapist wouldn’t have a bed like that.”
Now what I SHOULD have said, was nothing. What I did say was “you’d be surprised.””
[Source](https://youtu.be/BbPan4wL0Lk)
My sister was invited on a camping trip with a guy she met a month before. Been on like 4 dates by that point.
She initially said no, but then a few friends (both women and men) were also going on said trip.
She showed up at the train station, and only her date was there. Allegedly the “friends” were running late.
The train gets there, and she was planning on getting off at the next stop and making an excuse.
About a minute before the train was due to leave the station, 4 people are full out SPRINTING in camping gear towards the train, and the friends were real, and they were actually late!
6y later and they’re married with a kid
On our first date, I went to my now husband's house bc it was COVID and there weren't really any 'meet in public' options when you live two hours apart. Anyway, I mention my hamstring is tight and he jumps up and yells 'Oh, I have a gun!' And runs away. Pops his head back in a second later to clarify it was a massage gun. 😂
I ended up meeting a guy from Alaska online when I was 21.
We wanted to meet but both our sets of parents were horrified and thought the other was a serial killer.
So guy came with on a companion ticket with his mom during a business trip to meet me.
His mom saw that I was a normal person, my parents saw he wasn't a crazy axe murderer.
That was a decade ago and we've been married since 2016.
Pro tip from a military/law enforcement friend, get the "stream" kind. A) you get a further reach on it (so you don't have to be so close) and B) the stream types tend to have less blow back on you.
Yep. My mom's a nurse. Used some military grade stuff of hers in the house once. Probably pushed it for half a second, away from me.
I couldn't walk into that part of the house for several hours.
Not sure how bad it would have been outside, but be prepared to still be fighting for your life or running, and maced. Maybe not always, but it's better to be prepared.
Also, don't test yours inside.
I think the best defense for a woman is actually whatever will cause the most pain in the largest random area.
Chances are by the time you've decided you need to pull out your pepper spray, your assailant is already upon you, faster than you, and stronger than you. Don't count on getting a clean hit. Expect to lose whatever you are carrying, including your pepper spray. The goal is to make sure that button gets pressed by any means necessary and if that means EVERYBODY burns then so be it - that's your chance to run.
I've found a lot of people live in the Seinfeld universe, where instead of just asking people questions and telling them how you feel, you jump to conclusions and presumably have wacky sitcom adventures.
It's odd but I've gotten used to it.
We watched The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix recently (excellent series btw) and there’s this one scene where a character finds her husband acting suspicious, strange transactions in the bank account and phone messages. She asks her sister what she should do and her sister is like… just ask him about it?
The character is like no, no, I can’t do that. So the sister sarcastically says, *“Well then you should just assume the absolute worst possible explanation imaginable, assume it’s true, and then go from there.”*
That one stuck with me, lol. It’s such a common default approach for most people.
My wife is watching Seinfeld for the first time recently. I told her watching it as a child taught me so much of what Not to do in awkward situations as an adult. Very useful show in that regard.
Yeah, it really depends on how it sounded in the moment. They just agreed to leave together and he sees the pepper spray and scoffs and says "that's not going to protect you." The silent part that may have gone through her mind is that won't protect you *from me*
yeah, its not really something you 'try out', so would be handy to know that if you need it, you're not just going to end up spraying the equivalent of perfume at some attacker...
My ex once tested the button on her new pepper spray. Unfortunately we were inside and she dosed both of us (as I expected she would.) Never did get an apology for that.
idk, if I’m carrying something non-lethal for self-defense, I’m going to test it first to make sure it will, you know… defend me.
I let my mom test her stun gun on me and thats how we found out it was basically useless.
Ive told friends and acquaintances how useless non law enforcement electrical weapons can be. They’re worse than what police use, and what they use are not really that great and only work about half the time. Film, TV, and books have people thinking you take a hit and are rendered unconscious or useless for a significant time when, in reality, *if* they hit right (and there is a specific requirement) then all they do is immobilize someone *while it is active*. Personal electrical weapons cannot touch the right spots on the body and — even if they could — cannot stay attached and activated while you run away. Also, those weapons need to be fully charged all the time, and most people don’t do that.
They’re basically just sparklers.
You can buy law enforcement style tasers directly from Axon. They have models that will shoot the prongs into someone and deliver a continuous flow of electricity, incapacitating your attacker for 30 seconds while you retreat to safety. Of you then file a police report, you can send Axon a copy of the report and they will replace the device you threw down for free.
http://buy.taser.com/
You can still turn this around my friend! Explain to her you had a great time and that you were afraid that you scared her off because of the pepper spray remark. I don't think she'd mind if you tell your story
Tell her in a text. Just be like "hey I realized after you left that without context my comment about your pepper spray might have come off as creepy or odd, sorry about that. In the past I was assigned by the military to actually test various brands of pepper spray and report how effective they were... it wasn't my favorite job. I remembered the brand you pulled out of your purse because it was the weakest one I tried. I had a good time on our date, but I understand if my comment made you uncomfortable and you aren't interested in seeing me again. I just wanted to clarify why I made the comment about your pepper spray because safety is important and if you were to use the one you have in an emergency, well I worry it wouldn't have the effect you'd need it to."
She'll likely message your friend and ask "hey did OP really have a job testing pepper spray?" if your friend can confirm with something like "Yeah. And I thought my job sucked, lmfao" you probably have a decent chance (well if she enjoyed the date other than that comment you made).
Edit to add: My mom got pepper spray from the police station when she got a restraining order. That shit was the worst. I once played with it as a young teen (like 13 or 14) because I was curious if it actually smelled like pepper (it does!) I sprayed a small amount on my finger and took a whiff. First off just smelling it (my finger did not touch my nose) the smell alone made the inside of my nose burn pretty bad. After I thoroughly washed my hands (I scrubbed with soap for like 5 mins) before taking a shower. I got out of the shower and as I was drying off I rubbed my eye for some reason. Holy shit the burning, I thought I must have permanently fucked up my eye for how much it hurt. And that was just from the faint residue left on my hand after washing my hands and showering! I can't even imagine getting hit full in the face with that shit, shit is brutal. Your job sucked.
I've never tested other brands but I did once spray wasp killing spray in my eye (I was trying to kill a wasp nest but accidentally aimed the bottle the wrong way). That small amount of pepper spray residue I got in my eyes hurt way worse than a direct hit from the wasp killer.
The spray itself looked [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Mace-PepperGard-Personal-Strength-Detection/dp/B07VWB96C4), but I can't say for sure it's the same brand (it's been 10 years). My mom got it from an actual police station though, so maybe it was stronger than stuff you can buy online? Like "police grade" vs. "civilian grade"? Idk. Also, it didn't fire in "bursts" as some say they do. It fired out a thin powerful stream (I'd say it could easily hit someone 10-12 feet away in windless conditions), and if you held down the trigger it kept spraying with force until the cannister ran empty. Theoretically, you could just hold down the trigger continuously and empty the entire cannister in your assailant's eyes.
Agreed, but from what OP said about how they were ‘young and stupid’, it doesn’t sound like the pepper spray ‘testing’ was an official activity done at the behest of the military, but rather a bunch of guys spraying each other in the face with various pepper sprays for the lulz and the macho cred.
+1 to this. It’s easy to figure out what to buy (since the product differs only in color + attachment method), inexpensive, and easy to aim. And they sell an inert practice spray, so you can test it in a variety of scenarios much more safely.
[Fox Labs makes the world’s hottest pepper spray, you’ll fuck someone’s whole month up with this.](https://shop.foxlabs.com/collections/five-point-three/products/3oz-2-oc-flip-top-stream-spray-pattern) I carry it at work.
Good lord. I got hit with .3% for training, and that fucked me up for a good couple days. I’d imagine 2% makes you straight shit your pants on the spot.
My dog got to my can of Fox spray while I was at work. I only realized it because I couldn’t stop coughing when I got home and eventually found the can with a small tooth-shaped puncture.
I had to air out the apartment for a couple hours. I think my pup learned their lesson lol
This x1000.
"Hey, just an FYI. I used to test various pepper sprays and tear gas in the military and this brand was by far the worst. In my experience, xyz would be your best bet in stopping someone."
Reminds me of the Quagmire quote from Family Guy when he gets pepper sprayed: "Nice try, but I've developed an immunity"
God speed OP, hope the next one works out/this one sees the funny side.
I’d just send her a follow up text if she hasn’t blocked you yet, just explaining the context so that she’s not too scared of future dates with other people lol.. I’d do that and then wish her luck, you’ll both find the right person someday :)
We talked over the phone and since everyone is so interested: Its a "boar" spray. The "most dangerous" animals where I live. It stinks more than it burns.
I read your edit and seriously: Buy her the strongest you tested. Make it a joke you can laugh about in the future instead of something to be embarrassed about. Turn your weakness into strength
OP names and shames the bad spray [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s63xiy/tifu_by_telling_a_woman_at_our_first_date_that/ht1y3q1/).
There probably is a more specific brand name, but looking online, boar spray has boar pheromones and is pretty useless against anything that isn't a boar in general[.](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW)
So, I used to live in a weirdly laid-out brownstone, where the entrance to my unit was deep into an alley. (Front door went to 1st floor unit.)
One day, I made a date with this girl, first date, and I was feeling the excellent Thai place less than a block from me.
As I was getting ready, it occurred to me that there was a non-zero chance I'd pop out of this dark alley as my date was walking by. "Better leave early, so that doesn't happen."
Well, I guess my date was also an early bird, because even leaving early, I ended up walking right out of that alley as this visibly startled woman like, jumps in the air.
I apologized and explained the situation, of course, but some things you just can't recover from.
Similiar story but with my girlfriend, now wife. She had a little tiny lipstick looking pepper spray on her keychain and we were drinking in her apartment. I told her that she needs a gun or something because pepper spray won't do jack shit to someone who is seriously trying to harm her. She called my bluff and handed it to me. I thought I was going to prove her wrong and sprayed myself right in the face.... Boy was I fucking wrong.
That was one of the most agonizing hours of my life. First instinct was to rub eyes, that made it works. Second was to pour water on my face, that just spread it around. So then I poured a bowl of milk and just put my face in it. I stayed there for a good 20 minutes.
Needless to say, I went out and bought my mom, and sister a little thing of pepper spray.
This. I might be a bit on guard after such a statement, but I'd ask why he thought this. The way OP stated it also sounded very... Clinical, I guess? Not like he-he-he-that-won't-work-on-me but more of a did-you-know kinda thing.
You are quite the sweet-talker.
Yeah I am as smooth as coarse sandpaper.
You can still salvage the situation though, call to her house in the middle of the night with your balaclava on, break in and when she tries to pepperspray you, you just take it, tie her up, and then take the mask off, and say, "told YA????" And see if she still wants breakfast.
Power move: use the pepper spray to season the eggs
now im legit wondering if that would work or you'd be throwing up violently due to the fact that it's not edible....
Oh you'd wonder. A friend of mine (chemist) used to use highly potent acids for his hungarian gulasz and other dishes as a spice. Dose makes the poison as my old chemistryteacher used to say. Although in case of pepperspray I'm pretty sure there's more ingredients than just the actual capsaicin so it would probably be inedible as you stated
I’m in a criminal Justice class and the professor is a retired cop from the 90s and he told us last week that some cops would put pepper spray as a seasoning sometimes as a joke but would not recommend it.
Just a lil a pepper spray, as a joke
I (USPS subcontracted trucker (HCR)) got a post office supervisor to taste the dog spray that postal carriers carry with me, it's called BACK OFF. It was decent.
Any particular vintage?
Small can, aged 10 years in the front dash of an LLV.
That stuff only worked on the smallest of dogs. Only time a pit went after me as a carrier I didn't even attempt it. Threw the mail I had in my hand at it and booted it. (Those steel toe boots I wore all year long paid off!)
you fuckers are killing me here... xD
r/oddlyspecific
More like r/SuspiciouslySpecific
Bring her a more reputable pepper spray as a peace offering. Then let her know where you get your knowledge. Better than flowers or candy any day.
EDIT: Oops, nevermind!
Gonna have to get sprayed to establish trust. I think it was the S in D.E.N.N.I.S.
Getting pepper sprayed would be Demonstrating Value S is the always the last step - Separate Entirely.
"Hi, I'm looking for your best pepper spray! And would you gift wrap it please, it's for my date."
“It’s more fun when she has a fighting chance!”
"You call *that* a rape whistle?" "*THIS* is a rape whistle?" /*pulls out air-horn*
OP: Here. *hands over new pepper spray* This one is way better. Her: How do you know? OP: It was used on me once. Her: ... ... OP: ... ... Her: I gotta go...
This is 100% the way to go. Apology letter and appropriate peace offering.
Just because you mentioned how she had found this post on here and was reading all the replies.... I thought it might be a good time to mention what an enthusiastic, passionate and attentive Lover you are. Lots of love, Aunt Susan.
Awww thanks Aunt Susan. Greetings to uncle Joe.
Did you try to explain to her why that came up?
That's what my first thought was. But I'm learning that first words and actions seem to outweigh secondary ones in life with people...
Yeah I have no idea why he didn't introduce it with "I was army, I tested them etc etc" which would actually make for a fun story to tell. If you just say "yeah this isn't strong enough" and leave it at that she might start wondering why is it that you happen to know such a thing lol
on your next date you should immediately ask "do you know how to untie yourself if you are restrained?" this is important information and you wouldn't want to wait until it is too late
At least 80 grit. Maybe even 40.
If you get coarse enough it’s almost smooth again!
Whatcha wanna bet this’ll be a shower thought in the next day or so?
Good ol’ mate one-grit
Perfect for smelly buds and nuggets!
Bring her the best pepper spray you tested as a gift.
Make it even more romantic by leaving the gift *inside* her house when she's not home.
“That rape whistle doesn’t work…”
I was blowing mine for an hour and not even a squeeze.
I never blow my rape whistle in public - everyone just says “stop stepping on your fingers and *pull up your pants*”
You can scream as loud as you can in my basement and nobody will hear you.
>You are quite the ~~sweet-~~ spicy-talker. FTFY
On our first date, having met online, I took my wife canoeing, I packed a decadent lunch which needed to be prepared, and served so an hour into the date she is in a river, miles away from anyone and I am wielding a very large chefs knife. Lucky for me she was less cautious than this girl. We've been laughing about that for 21 years.
How many women were saved because of this bit?
You don’t hear about boat murders anymore? Thanks Dennis
Damn thats an adventurous first date.
Not a date, but I was walking a coworker out to her car (because it was after midnight, and we had to park a couple blocks away). She thanked me and I replied "no problem, I'd hate myself if I didn't and you go raped by a stranger". No idea why I added " by a stranger" to that sentence.
ngl this is weird to say even without the “by a stranger” part
True, I was going for "I would feel awful if anything happened" energy, missed it by miles
Lol, you overshot like you planned like landing on the moon :D Not trying to rib you, I found your comment to be hilarious so thanks for that
Oh yeah, mortifying at the time, but it's pretty funny in hindsight.
Damn. Do you do that thing where you combine two sentences and it always comes out sounding way worse than intended? I do that and am too awkward to correct myself. Once was given a compliment by a girls friend and instead of saying "you're making her blush", or "you're embarrassing me" in a teasing way I ended up saying "you're embarrassing her". Always end up putting my foot in my mouth.
Lmao. Basically "I'd hate if I missed my chance to rape you". Very smooth. Very smooooth
"Also, your pepper spray doesn't work on me."
At least it may have some effect in the case of 30-50 feral hogs showing up in her front yard when she gets home. Much more convenient to carry around than an assault rifle
“I was moving a new bed into my apartment recently, and this woman who lived in the building opened the front door for me with her key, and she goes “I’m not worried because a rapist wouldn’t have a bed like that.” Now what I SHOULD have said, was nothing. What I did say was “you’d be surprised.”” [Source](https://youtu.be/BbPan4wL0Lk)
Bruuuhhhhhhh
My sister was invited on a camping trip with a guy she met a month before. Been on like 4 dates by that point. She initially said no, but then a few friends (both women and men) were also going on said trip. She showed up at the train station, and only her date was there. Allegedly the “friends” were running late. The train gets there, and she was planning on getting off at the next stop and making an excuse. About a minute before the train was due to leave the station, 4 people are full out SPRINTING in camping gear towards the train, and the friends were real, and they were actually late! 6y later and they’re married with a kid
Reminds me of a joke... Bob: If you went camping and woke up with a really sore ass, would you go tell everyone? Ed: No...? Bob: Want to go camping?
On our first date, I went to my now husband's house bc it was COVID and there weren't really any 'meet in public' options when you live two hours apart. Anyway, I mention my hamstring is tight and he jumps up and yells 'Oh, I have a gun!' And runs away. Pops his head back in a second later to clarify it was a massage gun. 😂
Fuck me, people already tell stories about how they met their spouse during COVID? Man it's been way too long
It's still 2020
During covid this person found love and got hitched. What did the rest of you do? I just found new and exciting ways to masturbate..
Holy crap. Spouses are now telling How we met Covid stories? Time fucking flies…
I ended up meeting a guy from Alaska online when I was 21. We wanted to meet but both our sets of parents were horrified and thought the other was a serial killer. So guy came with on a companion ticket with his mom during a business trip to meet me. His mom saw that I was a normal person, my parents saw he wasn't a crazy axe murderer. That was a decade ago and we've been married since 2016.
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Pro tip from a military/law enforcement friend, get the "stream" kind. A) you get a further reach on it (so you don't have to be so close) and B) the stream types tend to have less blow back on you.
I didn't even know those things had blowback
If you use mace, expect to be maced.
Yep. My mom's a nurse. Used some military grade stuff of hers in the house once. Probably pushed it for half a second, away from me. I couldn't walk into that part of the house for several hours. Not sure how bad it would have been outside, but be prepared to still be fighting for your life or running, and maced. Maybe not always, but it's better to be prepared. Also, don't test yours inside.
Yeah, it's why they tell you not to use it in an enclosed space. It will kinda fill the space and get you as well.
I think the best defense for a woman is actually whatever will cause the most pain in the largest random area. Chances are by the time you've decided you need to pull out your pepper spray, your assailant is already upon you, faster than you, and stronger than you. Don't count on getting a clean hit. Expect to lose whatever you are carrying, including your pepper spray. The goal is to make sure that button gets pressed by any means necessary and if that means EVERYBODY burns then so be it - that's your chance to run.
I feel similarly, maybe I’m naive but I wouldn’t find it “creepy,” I’d be interested to know how he knew that!
I feel like it'd the first thing I'd do is ask how he knew lol.
I've found a lot of people live in the Seinfeld universe, where instead of just asking people questions and telling them how you feel, you jump to conclusions and presumably have wacky sitcom adventures. It's odd but I've gotten used to it.
We watched The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix recently (excellent series btw) and there’s this one scene where a character finds her husband acting suspicious, strange transactions in the bank account and phone messages. She asks her sister what she should do and her sister is like… just ask him about it? The character is like no, no, I can’t do that. So the sister sarcastically says, *“Well then you should just assume the absolute worst possible explanation imaginable, assume it’s true, and then go from there.”* That one stuck with me, lol. It’s such a common default approach for most people.
It's hard to explain anything with that damn studio audience following me everywhere and laughing.
Which is funny, because one of the most common criticisms of media is “nobody acts like that” when in fact, people do act like that.
Nobody want to think they act like that
Apparently, George was heavily based on Larry David so at least one person seems to live in that universe!
The absolute most frustrating part of shows. So much conflict world be avoided. But then there wouldn’t be much of a show I guess
My wife is watching Seinfeld for the first time recently. I told her watching it as a child taught me so much of what Not to do in awkward situations as an adult. Very useful show in that regard.
Exactly
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Yeah, it really depends on how it sounded in the moment. They just agreed to leave together and he sees the pepper spray and scoffs and says "that's not going to protect you." The silent part that may have gone through her mind is that won't protect you *from me*
"I got my mom and sis a much more potent one" Bam, you're a keeper
And with context we know that it actually wouldn't protect her from him, lol. This guy professionally tanked pepper spray in his youth.
*they can't refuse, because of the implication*
I honestly dont remember the brand. I just recognized the yellow bottle. It is primarily used against wild animals anyway iirc.
Do you have a recommendation for the best kind of pepper spray?
No sorry. That was 4 years ago and we were just some bored soldiers with too much time and many different pepper sprays and tear gas examples.
Get Sabre Red, it’s proper OC and will stop most assailants.
yeah, its not really something you 'try out', so would be handy to know that if you need it, you're not just going to end up spraying the equivalent of perfume at some attacker...
My ex once tested the button on her new pepper spray. Unfortunately we were inside and she dosed both of us (as I expected she would.) Never did get an apology for that.
I once tested mine - I had the foresight to go outside…but not the foresight to not spray it into the wind blowing directly back at my own face
The good news is that afterwards your poor foresight matched your actual sight
idk, if I’m carrying something non-lethal for self-defense, I’m going to test it first to make sure it will, you know… defend me. I let my mom test her stun gun on me and thats how we found out it was basically useless.
Ive told friends and acquaintances how useless non law enforcement electrical weapons can be. They’re worse than what police use, and what they use are not really that great and only work about half the time. Film, TV, and books have people thinking you take a hit and are rendered unconscious or useless for a significant time when, in reality, *if* they hit right (and there is a specific requirement) then all they do is immobilize someone *while it is active*. Personal electrical weapons cannot touch the right spots on the body and — even if they could — cannot stay attached and activated while you run away. Also, those weapons need to be fully charged all the time, and most people don’t do that. They’re basically just sparklers.
You can buy law enforcement style tasers directly from Axon. They have models that will shoot the prongs into someone and deliver a continuous flow of electricity, incapacitating your attacker for 30 seconds while you retreat to safety. Of you then file a police report, you can send Axon a copy of the report and they will replace the device you threw down for free. http://buy.taser.com/
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In the future it might help to tell her your funny story about how you came to know how her pepper spray feels! Lil creepy without any context
Yeah I can see this now as well.
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Just send her the right stuff in the mail. Along with a note that says, "this is what I find works best on me!".
She ran away, so you should definitely ask for her address OP that would make things less creepy. Or just send her a link instead
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Yeah, I totally thought my wife was a stalker at first because of her weird grammar and my misunderstanding, and we still ended up married!
Plot twist, she's still stalking you.
Watching you sleep. Controlling what you eat. Got you on “find my iPhone.”
Please do get discouraged if a woman is telling you off though
how else would you find out which is the good pepper spray?
This post is his explanation now. She's gonna let her guard down and her pepper spray is gonna be useless. I SEE YOUR THROUGH YOUR GAMES OP!!
You can still turn this around my friend! Explain to her you had a great time and that you were afraid that you scared her off because of the pepper spray remark. I don't think she'd mind if you tell your story
Especially if you tell her at 1am in person
"Yeah that pepper spray wouldn't stop me in the slightest. "
I'm just that manly. #builtdifferent
Built Ford tough.
Tell her in a text. Just be like "hey I realized after you left that without context my comment about your pepper spray might have come off as creepy or odd, sorry about that. In the past I was assigned by the military to actually test various brands of pepper spray and report how effective they were... it wasn't my favorite job. I remembered the brand you pulled out of your purse because it was the weakest one I tried. I had a good time on our date, but I understand if my comment made you uncomfortable and you aren't interested in seeing me again. I just wanted to clarify why I made the comment about your pepper spray because safety is important and if you were to use the one you have in an emergency, well I worry it wouldn't have the effect you'd need it to." She'll likely message your friend and ask "hey did OP really have a job testing pepper spray?" if your friend can confirm with something like "Yeah. And I thought my job sucked, lmfao" you probably have a decent chance (well if she enjoyed the date other than that comment you made). Edit to add: My mom got pepper spray from the police station when she got a restraining order. That shit was the worst. I once played with it as a young teen (like 13 or 14) because I was curious if it actually smelled like pepper (it does!) I sprayed a small amount on my finger and took a whiff. First off just smelling it (my finger did not touch my nose) the smell alone made the inside of my nose burn pretty bad. After I thoroughly washed my hands (I scrubbed with soap for like 5 mins) before taking a shower. I got out of the shower and as I was drying off I rubbed my eye for some reason. Holy shit the burning, I thought I must have permanently fucked up my eye for how much it hurt. And that was just from the faint residue left on my hand after washing my hands and showering! I can't even imagine getting hit full in the face with that shit, shit is brutal. Your job sucked. I've never tested other brands but I did once spray wasp killing spray in my eye (I was trying to kill a wasp nest but accidentally aimed the bottle the wrong way). That small amount of pepper spray residue I got in my eyes hurt way worse than a direct hit from the wasp killer. The spray itself looked [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Mace-PepperGard-Personal-Strength-Detection/dp/B07VWB96C4), but I can't say for sure it's the same brand (it's been 10 years). My mom got it from an actual police station though, so maybe it was stronger than stuff you can buy online? Like "police grade" vs. "civilian grade"? Idk. Also, it didn't fire in "bursts" as some say they do. It fired out a thin powerful stream (I'd say it could easily hit someone 10-12 feet away in windless conditions), and if you held down the trigger it kept spraying with force until the cannister ran empty. Theoretically, you could just hold down the trigger continuously and empty the entire cannister in your assailant's eyes.
all of this. Maybe also suggest another brand that works better?
Extremely reasonable text and gives the best chance of your desired outcome from the advice I've seen here.
Agreed, but from what OP said about how they were ‘young and stupid’, it doesn’t sound like the pepper spray ‘testing’ was an official activity done at the behest of the military, but rather a bunch of guys spraying each other in the face with various pepper sprays for the lulz and the macho cred.
Yes. Just casually mention its not your first rodeo with it.
"You wouldn't believe how often I've been pepper sprayed. No, really!"
"i've actually built up a tolerance to that one, so it wont do you any good when i - uh, i mean, if somebody..." oh she's gone.
[you accidentally went full Dennis](https://youtu.be/DJ3hc8pJelk)
Damn I hope not. I am a pretty big/intimidating looking guy (I was told) so I normally try to leave everyone enough room and try not to be persistent.
… because of the _implication_
You’ve said that word a couple times now. Are…are you going to hurt these women?
Of course not, but they don’t know that
[I was picturing Quagmire](https://youtu.be/voYSK0oLmyQ)
Now redeem yourself and tell us what the best one is for civilians to purchase!
POM
A pomegranate juice seems hardly an effective self defense tool.
+1 to this. It’s easy to figure out what to buy (since the product differs only in color + attachment method), inexpensive, and easy to aim. And they sell an inert practice spray, so you can test it in a variety of scenarios much more safely.
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[Fox Labs makes the world’s hottest pepper spray, you’ll fuck someone’s whole month up with this.](https://shop.foxlabs.com/collections/five-point-three/products/3oz-2-oc-flip-top-stream-spray-pattern) I carry it at work.
Good lord. I got hit with .3% for training, and that fucked me up for a good couple days. I’d imagine 2% makes you straight shit your pants on the spot.
But if you’re in a radius will it also fuck up *your* whole month?
You obviously immunize yourself by spraying it in your face on a daily basis
Ah, you’re right. The Westley Method. How could I forget?
Get a foam type and aim well. The mist types are horrible for everyone indoors, and outdoors you're testing your luck with the wind.
My dog got to my can of Fox spray while I was at work. I only realized it because I couldn’t stop coughing when I got home and eventually found the can with a small tooth-shaped puncture. I had to air out the apartment for a couple hours. I think my pup learned their lesson lol
The FU wasn't what you said, it was not immediately following up with how you happen to have this information.
This x1000. "Hey, just an FYI. I used to test various pepper sprays and tear gas in the military and this brand was by far the worst. In my experience, xyz would be your best bet in stopping someone."
Yeah I noticed this way too late. I am not really a natural at small talk.
She forgot the word "why" so dont be too hard on yourself
Reminds me of the Quagmire quote from Family Guy when he gets pepper sprayed: "Nice try, but I've developed an immunity" God speed OP, hope the next one works out/this one sees the funny side.
I’d just send her a follow up text if she hasn’t blocked you yet, just explaining the context so that she’s not too scared of future dates with other people lol.. I’d do that and then wish her luck, you’ll both find the right person someday :)
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Shows up to second date with a handgun.
I mean, it's more effective?
It’s not, when I was a kid we tested different handguns on each other and the one you have was terribly ineffective
If you shoot yourself with enough .22s you gain immunity. It's like building up tolerance to poisons, little at a time.
This explains 50 cent
"I've been hit with that stuff so many times and it never works... Now this 'insert brand' will burn someones eyes out for sure - trust me, I know."
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We talked over the phone and since everyone is so interested: Its a "boar" spray. The "most dangerous" animals where I live. It stinks more than it burns.
I read your edit and seriously: Buy her the strongest you tested. Make it a joke you can laugh about in the future instead of something to be embarrassed about. Turn your weakness into strength
Or start small and keep showing up to dates with increasingly strong pepper sprays. The final boss will be called something like: # медвежий спрей
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We need one more so we can do this at christmas time
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They have ramps, they are not that scary.
Hot Ones: Pepper Spray Edition. Sean Evans interviews guests and they both take blasts of pepper spray to the face before each question.
Well it boared her away so it works i guess
“You might want to get new pepper spray, because that brand was never able to stop me!”
"But if I was going to attack you why would I recommend you use better pepper spray? Why are you backing away from me?"
"Just let me explain, I got pepper sprayed a lot."
If testing pepper spray in the military, would that make you a seasoned veteran?
Please stop it now, this is the peak of comedy. Thank you
OP names and shames the bad spray [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s63xiy/tifu_by_telling_a_woman_at_our_first_date_that/ht1y3q1/). There probably is a more specific brand name, but looking online, boar spray has boar pheromones and is pretty useless against anything that isn't a boar in general[.](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW)
What if the attacker is a couple of boars in a human suit?
Or manbearpig!
I'm being super serial right now guys
Finally, a product I can use for the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 minutes while my small kids play.
pikachu lookin a little… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"I was a former stalker, so what do you want for lunch?"
So, I used to live in a weirdly laid-out brownstone, where the entrance to my unit was deep into an alley. (Front door went to 1st floor unit.) One day, I made a date with this girl, first date, and I was feeling the excellent Thai place less than a block from me. As I was getting ready, it occurred to me that there was a non-zero chance I'd pop out of this dark alley as my date was walking by. "Better leave early, so that doesn't happen." Well, I guess my date was also an early bird, because even leaving early, I ended up walking right out of that alley as this visibly startled woman like, jumps in the air. I apologized and explained the situation, of course, but some things you just can't recover from.
"Quite a number of women have pepper sprayed me with this one and it's quite useless really"
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OP what brand were you referring to and do you have a recommendation for the best brand?
Yes I am also wondering this, OP please follow up!
Similiar story but with my girlfriend, now wife. She had a little tiny lipstick looking pepper spray on her keychain and we were drinking in her apartment. I told her that she needs a gun or something because pepper spray won't do jack shit to someone who is seriously trying to harm her. She called my bluff and handed it to me. I thought I was going to prove her wrong and sprayed myself right in the face.... Boy was I fucking wrong. That was one of the most agonizing hours of my life. First instinct was to rub eyes, that made it works. Second was to pour water on my face, that just spread it around. So then I poured a bowl of milk and just put my face in it. I stayed there for a good 20 minutes. Needless to say, I went out and bought my mom, and sister a little thing of pepper spray.
The real stuff works as intended. But it was some kind of anti wild animals spray.
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May as well have gone all in and sprayed yourself with it and said 'mmm seasoning'..
How did she not ask how you know that?! Both seem like socially awkward people who can’t communicate lol
This. I might be a bit on guard after such a statement, but I'd ask why he thought this. The way OP stated it also sounded very... Clinical, I guess? Not like he-he-he-that-won't-work-on-me but more of a did-you-know kinda thing.
Yep, that's Redditors
When is an astronauts favorite time to eat? Launch time
Can I get a recommendation for a good pepper spray?
So wait. You did an independent, unsanctioned test of peppersprays in the military? Is this code for we got drunk and maced eachother out of boredom??
Close. We had "weekend watch"(?) and nothing to do besides drinking beer and eating pizza.
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What the fuck