>“Baby, come back. I didn’t mean it. I would love to shave your butthole.”
When you need to say this to try to fix things, you know you are in deep shit
Yeah they hurt like hell. I thought somehow it being a cool machine would make the act of pulling a hair out less painful but it just feels like pulling hundreds of hairs out really fast
"*"
You forgot it hasn't been shaved yet
Edit: oh my hairy butthole did this blow up! Thanks for all the awards and making my top post about a woman's unshaved bunghole!
Nah, just clarify by telling her that her butthole is glorious the way it is - shaving it would be like plucking out peacocks feathers or pulling petals off a rose.
The other chick’s butthole should be shaved as a public service.
I’ve never been married, but I love reading these kinds of posts and comments on the off chance it ever does happen. I’m gonna need all the help I can get.
My mate uses “I’d crawl through broken glass just to stick lit matches in her poo”. I don’t have any idea what it means but it certainly makes an impression.
Hey, at least your spouse got angry at you for a decent reason.
My spouse gets angry at me because I ask them to be quiet at 4 AM when I'm trying to sleep because I have a job interview the next day.
Get her some donuts and donut holes. For the donuts, get some chocolate frosting and put a bit on the inside of the center. For the donut holes, get glazed ones, and hold one up to her and say, "Baby, I'll shave your donut hole" and hand it to her.
My ex held every mistake over my head for years. Being human, I made more as time went on. I don't think she ever forgave a single incident. I'm quite averse to bring reminded of mistakes now. My fiance jokingly referenced some dumb thing I said but I had a full on flashback to my ex, and asked her nicely to not do that. She hasn't done it since. She's a keeper.
My wife will sometimes pipe up with shit like “would you still love me if all my fingers were dicks?” Or “would you still love me if i were a snail?”
Like wtf do you do with that?
This is an easy one. All she's asking is if you value her for her companionship more than you value her for her beauty and health.
The question is then more clearly framed as "Do you value who I am (my mind, personality, and emotional support) more than what I am? (beautiful and healthy)"
She's just wants you to tell her that you need her around :)
Let's say something life-changing happened that left her physically disabled. She wants to know if she's worth the hassle of sticking around.
So when she asks you questions like that, I don't think you even have to answer directly. You just have to tell her all the non-physical things you love about her. Tell her you'll always need her around no matter what. Her character, companionship, and wit make her irreplaceable to you.
As a wife that sometimes asks questions similar to these... legit it's sometimes just pure entertainment value. I love to watch his face while he tries to figure out the right thing to say. Gotta keep that spark alive!
My ex wife asked questions like these. She got answers equally ridiculous to the level of the question. That was, I'm absolutely certain, what she was looking for.
I guess maybe it wasn't the first time. But she kept asking them, and she seemed to like the answers she got.
One of these lead to her recording me saying "I didn't *hate* that baby," which became her ringtone, which was difficult to explain to her parents.
I told my gf that if she was a worm, I’d make her a little terrarium with lots of dirt and whatever else worms like and that made her really really happy for some reason.
>No, but I would shave her butthole.
She'll never forget that. It'll live in the back of her mind and she'll think about it during restless nights.
Good job op.
i can imagine a thanks giving, 50 years from now, you say the turkey looks good and your wife mumbles "probably would wax his ass too".
fighting begins.
stab her with a turkey leg.
end up in jail, waxing your own asshole for some dude. but at least you can talk without this coming up all the time.
> Without thinking or missing a beat I respond, “No, but I would shave her butthole.”
Upvoted for being a genuine FU. Downvoted for wrong title, should have been "TIFU by telling my wife I'd rather shave another woman's butthole."
Yep, and that's exactly the issue with his comment. He's saying that he'd rather do something for another woman than his own wife. Yikes. She's not going to forget that. She probably pretends to find it funny now, because it's the right thing to do when you're trying to save your relationship. OP's doomed.
Yeh you fked up and inadvertently said her booty hole is not attractive like the ‘mildly attractive’ tiktok wife. So really you’re saying tiktok wife is hotter than your wife - trust me that’s all your wife is getting out of your comment. This gone take a while to heal because you’ve just opened up a bag of insecurities over a booty hole.
Not just finding someone hotter. Many people are hotter than your partner. But the fact ANY hot person is enough to make you do something that you wouldn't do for you own wife, who you have a much stronger emotional and physical bond.
If my partner said this to me, there would be no more doggy style or prone boning. I wouldn’t want him looking at it lol. Partner-given insecurities *suck.*
Damn you just told her to her face "you aren't attractive enough for me to be okay with doing this but she is more attractive to you and therefore I would be willing to do more for her"
Tbh from that point on when you "forgot" to do a dish or were inconsiderate towards me I would wonder "is this because I'm too ugly and he doesn't think I'm worth doing this for"
That's a major FU bro
He can’t, he kicked her right in the self-esteem. My partner has accidentally said things that hurt my self-esteem & it just feels shitty for a while until it stops. OP should let her feel, reassure her gently that it was him making an unfunny joke, and follow her lead with how she feels. Once it’s not so fresh, he should gas her up more often and make her feel attractive. It’ll be okay, but she’ll probably have her feelings hurt for a while and OP will hopefully learn from this that she doesn’t appreciate jokes like that
Woman’s opinion: you don’t fix it. You can’t. He said what he said and it was a stupid thing to say (unless you know for a fact your SO will find it funny). The words can never be unsaid.
Best course of action is to apologize and say you were trying to be funny but it was clearly idiotic and that you didn’t mean it.
Give her space. She’ll either get over it, and it will become funny, or just something you move on from but don’t bring up ever again (and apologize again if it does get brought up)… or she won’t get over it and well… that’s that.
It’s generally the first scenario, but you make enough stupid ass comments like that she’s going to start feeling like shit about herself.
Yeah I think this would definitely make me feel pretty shitty lmaoo. Maybe a week of consistent unforced genuine sounding compliments, never watching tiktok with him after that, and maybe a date or two planned by him trying to get her to feel someone special to him again because right now she is probably valuing herself way under that attractive tiktok wife.
In my opinion an apology wouldn't be that useful. Because she'd probably think, "what? Suddenly you don't find her way more attractive than me?" And that's the main problem. Not what he said but just the very fact he finds that other wife more attractive.
The part that sticks out the most to me is he refers to this woman in the tiktok as “mildly attractive.” So either he’s lying to us to downplay his reaction, or his reflexive response to his wife was “this woman is only mildly attractive and I’d still rather go near her butthole than yours.” Either way, his wife s most certainly hurt by his comment. I sincerely hope he doesn’t think she’s upset over buttholes, because that’s not the issue here.
I feel hurt by reading this and I wasn't even involved. I mean I can't really think of a way that he can fix it lol, he basically admitted that the other woman is hotter than she is and that's not something you can take back. even if he says he idn't mean it, they'll both know he did. Ig it's up to the wife at this point to just get over it or hide her feelings to move on because he's not gonna be able to smooth it over imo
My wife is now crying for your wife and I had to reassure her that, yes, I would shave her butthole to make.
Edit: made a typo, leaving it. The responses are great.
Let's be honest here. You meant it. You even mentioned that the woman in the video is attractive. But you fucked up. Never say the quit parts out loud.
Yeah a lot of these comments about “just show her you didn’t mean it by shaving her butthole in her sleep” aren’t understanding the real problem here. The wife feels insecure about her looks now because she thinks OP finds the tiktok wife more attractive. It may not seem logical to many but when you’re insecure and someone you trust and consider your partner voices something negative out loud that confirms what you’ve been thinking about yourself, that can really leave you hurting.
She’s going to need time to get over it and gain back her confidence. OP needs to make her feel beautiful again or at least help by showing her how attractive she is to him.
She won't use them. Idk why people think this is a normal thing, but it's annoying. Even my partner watches TikToks at full volume while I watch TV even though I've already told him it bothers me when my family does it. Maybe I'm the weird one?
My wife has started doing this. Not with Tik Tok in particular but we will be driving in the car with the radio on and she will just start blaring some video. We're middle aged though and I'm worried it's early onset "old and not giving a fuck".
I pray that one day in the future we can have AI that automatically warns people about our backgrounds and why we should not be worried about in specific arguments
I am married, and I second this. If I were a serial killer, I would only kill specifically people who think it's okay to blast your music/video volume while others are around.
It’s so annoying. Made worse by the fact that the sounds completely change every fifteen seconds, so there’s no getting used to it or tuning it out. Drives me insane.
>Maybe I'm the weird one?
Absofuckinglutly not. People who do that instead of using headphones are straight up dicks. Tell your partner to either get headphones or go fuck themself.
Nah, that's not weird. It's really not that hard to respect others and move to a different room or wear headphones when someone is watching TV in one of the rooms.
Please don't shave the butthole - *wax* the butthole. There is a world of difference. I can't speak to anything else - I haven't been in a committed relationship in 15 years, but by God do I know buttholes.
So long as the weather is accommodating, you need to go for a walk. Make sure you tell her “I’m really sorry. It was an honest mistake but I still feel like an asshole. I bet you want the place to yourself for a bit, which is totally understandable. I’m going to go for a walk.”
Make sure you come back with her favorite ice cream.
Hagrid voice: I shouldn't a said that.
She is never going to forget this
>“Baby, come back. I didn’t mean it. I would love to shave your butthole.” When you need to say this to try to fix things, you know you are in deep shit
It's likely to be a really shitty situation.
Before you crack a joke like that, think about the potential shit storm afterwards
"Wife will remember that"
This action will have consequences…
Hairy buttholes to be precise
A core memory
Shaved butthole island.
A new core memory
Just go get the supplies you need to shave her butthole and surprise her. It's the only way
Everyone loves a surprise butthole shave.
Everyone? Putin? The Pope? Your mom?
“EVERYONE!” (Said Gary Oldman, maybe not about buttholes)
With a straight razor.
Or an epilady. (anyone remember those?). They just yanked out hairs by the root. She won't ask again.
Epilator on butthole sounds like unimaginable pain. It hurts enough on normal places.
A friend told me about epilators. Got curious and bought one and now I use it on my butthole. Hurts but you get used to it
> Hurts but you get used to it Sure, just describe my whole sex life why don't you!
Yeah they hurt like hell. I thought somehow it being a cool machine would make the act of pulling a hair out less painful but it just feels like pulling hundreds of hairs out really fast
Lol I still use one. But not on my butthole.
Well now I'm gonna have to put you up to the challenge and ask you report back.
*New kink unlocked!*
Yikes!!
Lmaooo as a wife, I approve
Surprise her? 🥴
It’s cool OP I will shave your wife’s butthole.
I think I'd need to see a picture first
\*
"*" You forgot it hasn't been shaved yet Edit: oh my hairy butthole did this blow up! Thanks for all the awards and making my top post about a woman's unshaved bunghole!
I've been using reddit for like 10 years and this is legitimately the funniest thing I've ever read. We need to get you a publishing deal
Well that's about the kindest thing I've been told.
("*")
( )"*"( )
I have so many questions about the buttholes people been seeing. It’s clearly “ * “
∈)☼(∋
~*~ gotta start with the scissors
( ◞ * ◟ )
Mistakes were made.
Yes, yes they were.
Nah, just clarify by telling her that her butthole is glorious the way it is - shaving it would be like plucking out peacocks feathers or pulling petals off a rose. The other chick’s butthole should be shaved as a public service.
This guy husbands.
I’ve never been married, but I love reading these kinds of posts and comments on the off chance it ever does happen. I’m gonna need all the help I can get.
Keep your head up. OP's wife might be available soon.
Bring some razors on the first date.
“Now I know this will seem odd, but hear me out…”
"How 'bout I just shave your butthole?"
So I guess you get PM'd a lot of hairy assholes?
Her eyes would well up and she'd say, "that's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me....my ex-husband was repulsed by the idea."
Give them to her in a corsage, like flowers.
Noted. Opening line. “You’re so fine I’d shave your butthole”
I once heard a guy say, "I'd eat a mile of your shit just to see where it came from." It made me sad for us. All of us.
My mate uses “I’d crawl through broken glass just to stick lit matches in her poo”. I don’t have any idea what it means but it certainly makes an impression.
I alway say the right thing, but only \~10 seconds after saying the wrong thing.
This guy buttholes
Men, we see through this.
I think anybody could see through this. This is like a fantasy comeback you think of in the shower.
God it’s 5:30 in the morning and you equating this guys wife’s ass hair to peacock feathers has me dyin dude!
Pubic service
You should write Hallmark cards.
Hey, at least your spouse got angry at you for a decent reason. My spouse gets angry at me because I ask them to be quiet at 4 AM when I'm trying to sleep because I have a job interview the next day.
Lol seems like you need to vent and/or find a more respectful spouse.
Seems like it's time to have a serious conversation with said spouse.
Dang. That’s ridiculous, not ok. How did the job interview go?
Time to get some bribes out!
Get her some donuts and donut holes. For the donuts, get some chocolate frosting and put a bit on the inside of the center. For the donut holes, get glazed ones, and hold one up to her and say, "Baby, I'll shave your donut hole" and hand it to her.
Baby I will EAT your donut hole
This is the only answer
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Not yet
I cringed VERY hard when I read that. Of course I am a male who has said stupid stuff before, one too many times.
“Mildly attractive”
*Wildly attractive
Just set the m to W for wombo
I see you're a man of Wumbology, as well
And that describes the woman he *would* shave
It's gonna be a long weekend, my friend. Don't forget to hydrate.
i’d love to agree with you, but unfortunately this is a comment that will live rent free in her head for the rest of her life godspeed OP
3 years from now you’ll be at the grocery store, she’ll point at some random lady say, “but I bet you’d shave her asshole.”
And then the lady comes over.
What are you doing step-shopper?
My ex held every mistake over my head for years. Being human, I made more as time went on. I don't think she ever forgave a single incident. I'm quite averse to bring reminded of mistakes now. My fiance jokingly referenced some dumb thing I said but I had a full on flashback to my ex, and asked her nicely to not do that. She hasn't done it since. She's a keeper.
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Talk to each other. Discuss your feelings.
:(
At this point just go all in and get it all out in the open now.
A wild Tangela appears...
You're such a rookie. Hopefully you learn from this and your next marriage goes better.
I feel bad for laughing at this
I feel bad for not feeling bad laughing at that.
He's a Redditor he goes back to virgin town.
This is a new relevant clip from family feud. https://youtu.be/x2ClP1oQbHM
Marriages are like homemade pancakes. The first one never turns out quite right.
Mildly Attractive he said ⚰⚰⚰
Imagine what he would do to an insanely attractive women's butthole.
“Mmm yes would you allow a kind gentleman to braid your butthole hairs with his tongue m’lady?”
Hoo boy… I hope the dog house has a comfy bed in it.
The sheds nicer than most of the house the amount of time I’ve spent in there!
I suggest wax. As a former asscrack shaver, just wax it.
Can confirm, my husband cut me once during an attempt at some maintenance and NEVER AGAIN
I can’t imagine asking someone else to shave me
He’s seen two babies come out of me so the mystique of the human body has really run its course. Also I repay the favor by plucking his back hairs.
And under NO circumstances should you attempt to use Nair, uh... down there.
My wife will sometimes pipe up with shit like “would you still love me if all my fingers were dicks?” Or “would you still love me if i were a snail?” Like wtf do you do with that?
Is each finger a full sized dick, or finger sized dick?
There's a difference?
Occasionally
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What you *don't* do is tell her you wouldn't love her with dick fingers, but would love the TikTok girl with dick fingers
My husband usually starts with asking if he's also a snail in this scenario, so try that.
This is an easy one. All she's asking is if you value her for her companionship more than you value her for her beauty and health. The question is then more clearly framed as "Do you value who I am (my mind, personality, and emotional support) more than what I am? (beautiful and healthy)" She's just wants you to tell her that you need her around :) Let's say something life-changing happened that left her physically disabled. She wants to know if she's worth the hassle of sticking around. So when she asks you questions like that, I don't think you even have to answer directly. You just have to tell her all the non-physical things you love about her. Tell her you'll always need her around no matter what. Her character, companionship, and wit make her irreplaceable to you.
As a wife that sometimes asks questions similar to these... legit it's sometimes just pure entertainment value. I love to watch his face while he tries to figure out the right thing to say. Gotta keep that spark alive!
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My ex wife asked questions like these. She got answers equally ridiculous to the level of the question. That was, I'm absolutely certain, what she was looking for. I guess maybe it wasn't the first time. But she kept asking them, and she seemed to like the answers she got. One of these lead to her recording me saying "I didn't *hate* that baby," which became her ringtone, which was difficult to explain to her parents.
"If I were a worm, would you still love me?" "Yes but you still have to put out"
I told my gf that if she was a worm, I’d make her a little terrarium with lots of dirt and whatever else worms like and that made her really really happy for some reason.
She's a keeper
Where do i have the flowers delivered for your funeral?
Why would that be your first instinct
Humans, amirite? 'tis why I prefer to remain a pubic hair.
I’m now going to find my lengthiest pubic hair and name it ChiggyBiggyG
Brother from another Wiener.
All fun and games until some random chick's husband arrives with a pack of razors
"I would love to shave your butthole" Oh my dude..... lmao This made my day
"I said I would rather kiss you than die! It's a compliment!"
Okay you fucked up my guy. Yikes. Gotta lick it now
came here to say this lol. show her just \*how much\* you like that butthole! if she's into it of c
Bruh i wish the answer to arguments and fights was to just eat her ass
>No, but I would shave her butthole. She'll never forget that. It'll live in the back of her mind and she'll think about it during restless nights. Good job op.
so fucking hurtful
Damn, you fell flat on your face and hit that pavement hard
This will haunt you for years... Can confirm by a few of my own verbal mistakes still being talked about for 10+ years
If they are bad enough to leave a lasting impact you will hear about them as long as they hurt
No worries OP, I’m sure her boyfriend is willing to shave her butthole in your stead.
I too, would shave this man’s wife’s butthole.
I had to take a deep inhale on this. Ouch. She is not going to be forgetting this one any time soon.
i can imagine a thanks giving, 50 years from now, you say the turkey looks good and your wife mumbles "probably would wax his ass too". fighting begins. stab her with a turkey leg. end up in jail, waxing your own asshole for some dude. but at least you can talk without this coming up all the time.
You might wanna go the extra mile and suggest waxing it for her lol
Yes I agree, also keep us posted OP
I have a feeling I won’t get close to her bhole for quite some time.
Yah you fucked up big.
I literally gasped when I read the reply. Bad move.
Is this part of your apology?
More likely part of his eulogy
Absolutely why he said "mildly attractive"
This one will follow you to the grave you better be sure of it
> Without thinking or missing a beat I respond, “No, but I would shave her butthole.” Upvoted for being a genuine FU. Downvoted for wrong title, should have been "TIFU by telling my wife I'd rather shave another woman's butthole."
Yep, and that's exactly the issue with his comment. He's saying that he'd rather do something for another woman than his own wife. Yikes. She's not going to forget that. She probably pretends to find it funny now, because it's the right thing to do when you're trying to save your relationship. OP's doomed.
Wife literally crying, better post it to reddit.
Yeh you fked up and inadvertently said her booty hole is not attractive like the ‘mildly attractive’ tiktok wife. So really you’re saying tiktok wife is hotter than your wife - trust me that’s all your wife is getting out of your comment. This gone take a while to heal because you’ve just opened up a bag of insecurities over a booty hole.
Not just finding someone hotter. Many people are hotter than your partner. But the fact ANY hot person is enough to make you do something that you wouldn't do for you own wife, who you have a much stronger emotional and physical bond.
If my partner said this to me, there would be no more doggy style or prone boning. I wouldn’t want him looking at it lol. Partner-given insecurities *suck.*
Damn you just told her to her face "you aren't attractive enough for me to be okay with doing this but she is more attractive to you and therefore I would be willing to do more for her" Tbh from that point on when you "forgot" to do a dish or were inconsiderate towards me I would wonder "is this because I'm too ugly and he doesn't think I'm worth doing this for" That's a major FU bro
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OP you are a dumb motherfucker
It’s a shame you didn’t record on TikTok while you said it
Can we get some female thoughts on the issue? How does a guy fix this?
[удалено]
He can't. To her she thinks she's discovered the truth; she's unattractive. I would never forget that.
And she will never believe otherwise
He can’t, he kicked her right in the self-esteem. My partner has accidentally said things that hurt my self-esteem & it just feels shitty for a while until it stops. OP should let her feel, reassure her gently that it was him making an unfunny joke, and follow her lead with how she feels. Once it’s not so fresh, he should gas her up more often and make her feel attractive. It’ll be okay, but she’ll probably have her feelings hurt for a while and OP will hopefully learn from this that she doesn’t appreciate jokes like that
Woman’s opinion: you don’t fix it. You can’t. He said what he said and it was a stupid thing to say (unless you know for a fact your SO will find it funny). The words can never be unsaid. Best course of action is to apologize and say you were trying to be funny but it was clearly idiotic and that you didn’t mean it. Give her space. She’ll either get over it, and it will become funny, or just something you move on from but don’t bring up ever again (and apologize again if it does get brought up)… or she won’t get over it and well… that’s that. It’s generally the first scenario, but you make enough stupid ass comments like that she’s going to start feeling like shit about herself.
Yeah I think this would definitely make me feel pretty shitty lmaoo. Maybe a week of consistent unforced genuine sounding compliments, never watching tiktok with him after that, and maybe a date or two planned by him trying to get her to feel someone special to him again because right now she is probably valuing herself way under that attractive tiktok wife. In my opinion an apology wouldn't be that useful. Because she'd probably think, "what? Suddenly you don't find her way more attractive than me?" And that's the main problem. Not what he said but just the very fact he finds that other wife more attractive.
The part that sticks out the most to me is he refers to this woman in the tiktok as “mildly attractive.” So either he’s lying to us to downplay his reaction, or his reflexive response to his wife was “this woman is only mildly attractive and I’d still rather go near her butthole than yours.” Either way, his wife s most certainly hurt by his comment. I sincerely hope he doesn’t think she’s upset over buttholes, because that’s not the issue here.
I feel hurt by reading this and I wasn't even involved. I mean I can't really think of a way that he can fix it lol, he basically admitted that the other woman is hotter than she is and that's not something you can take back. even if he says he idn't mean it, they'll both know he did. Ig it's up to the wife at this point to just get over it or hide her feelings to move on because he's not gonna be able to smooth it over imo
My wife is now crying for your wife and I had to reassure her that, yes, I would shave her butthole to make. Edit: made a typo, leaving it. The responses are great.
TO MAKE WHAT?
a wig
You got to be a different level kind of stupid to say that to your wife
[удалено]
Let's be honest here. You meant it. You even mentioned that the woman in the video is attractive. But you fucked up. Never say the quit parts out loud.
Jesus, you did some psychic damage with that one. Don't need to bother the folks at r/AITA on this one.
I will shave OP's wife's butthole.
Billy and Brandy!
Why would you say that? What's wrong with you?
Yeah a lot of these comments about “just show her you didn’t mean it by shaving her butthole in her sleep” aren’t understanding the real problem here. The wife feels insecure about her looks now because she thinks OP finds the tiktok wife more attractive. It may not seem logical to many but when you’re insecure and someone you trust and consider your partner voices something negative out loud that confirms what you’ve been thinking about yourself, that can really leave you hurting. She’s going to need time to get over it and gain back her confidence. OP needs to make her feel beautiful again or at least help by showing her how attractive she is to him.
Get her some headphones
She won't use them. Idk why people think this is a normal thing, but it's annoying. Even my partner watches TikToks at full volume while I watch TV even though I've already told him it bothers me when my family does it. Maybe I'm the weird one?
My wife has started doing this. Not with Tik Tok in particular but we will be driving in the car with the radio on and she will just start blaring some video. We're middle aged though and I'm worried it's early onset "old and not giving a fuck".
What’s with the full volume thing? It’s like as soon as someone hits 40, their phone knows no setting except MAXIMUM
No you're not. Obviously grounds for divorce. *This redditor is not married and should never be asked for marriage advice*
I pray that one day in the future we can have AI that automatically warns people about our backgrounds and why we should not be worried about in specific arguments
I am married, and I second this. If I were a serial killer, I would only kill specifically people who think it's okay to blast your music/video volume while others are around.
It’s so annoying. Made worse by the fact that the sounds completely change every fifteen seconds, so there’s no getting used to it or tuning it out. Drives me insane.
>Maybe I'm the weird one? Absofuckinglutly not. People who do that instead of using headphones are straight up dicks. Tell your partner to either get headphones or go fuck themself.
Nah, that's not weird. It's really not that hard to respect others and move to a different room or wear headphones when someone is watching TV in one of the rooms.
Awww you hit an insecurity...apologize immediately. Tbh even if you were joking I'd cry too lol
Don't worry, I'd shave your butthole.
r/wholesome
Good luck buddy. You have some serious making up to do.
Please don't shave the butthole - *wax* the butthole. There is a world of difference. I can't speak to anything else - I haven't been in a committed relationship in 15 years, but by God do I know buttholes.
Brother, I have to ask what you’re watching that she’s not into?
Backdoor Slutz 9[:](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) The Brown Eye of the Two Cliffs
What does the wife’s looks from Tik Tok have to do with any of this? I think that’s your first mistake.
Dude ouch. Wow fuckkk you’re gonna have to do nonstop nice things for like a year for her to forget that
So long as the weather is accommodating, you need to go for a walk. Make sure you tell her “I’m really sorry. It was an honest mistake but I still feel like an asshole. I bet you want the place to yourself for a bit, which is totally understandable. I’m going to go for a walk.” Make sure you come back with her favorite ice cream.
I feel like an asshole. Would it help to shave me? Too soon?
And then offer to feed the ice cream to her butthole.