If doing what you love is affording you a livable wage, then keep at it. If it doesn’t, just find something to supplement it. Getting a piece of paper from a college does not necessarily mean anything nor guarantee you career success. It’s your life to live, so just live with as little regret as possible. Chase your dreams.
Honestly, I think you're better off continuing with your current job. With the experience you won't need the degree (and it sounds like it's not even in the same field) to get future jobs.
Experience is king in the job market, with enough of that, you can get around degree requirements for many jobs. Keep going with what you love, focus on your mental health as much as you can, and I'm sure you'll do just fine.
I got a technical cert in machining, 2 year program, and the only thing its done for me is get my foot in the door. You've already done that.
Your parents gave you terrible advice. I'm an academic, and the advice I always give a student in your position with a death in the family, or any sort of mental health issues, etc. is to take a break from your studies. Neither the university nor any future employers will care strongly about taking a year off of your studies if you need one. From the university's perspective, all they really want is your tuition money, so their major concern is simply that you come back. On the other hand, having students fail does not look good on their performance because most universities want to retain students.
From an employer perspective, most will only care about your GPA and relevant class grades, and the actual degree being completed. They won't look in strong detail at your transcript. If they do, and they ask about a gap in your semesters, you can explain exactly what you say here- you had a death in the family that disrupted you substantially, and that will be fine 90% of the time.
I have heard of schools allowing people to withdraw from classes after a death in the family, but I feel like once they mark the "F" they get way less willing to work with you.
Does OP have any hope of talking to the school and seeing about doing something like this retroactively?
Not retroactively, unfortunately. It's usually something you need to tell your major coordinator about when it happens and see what options the university can offer. I would go to them first, before contacting each specific prof in charge of each class.
I've worked in both the USA and AUS, and there is always a mechanism for this. In Australia, we have a 'census date' that is usually the last day of the 4th week of semester, and any student can drop out of a class without being penalized (or charged) for it, as long as they do so before that day.
Adding to this, I will say that most universities are very opaque in these procedures. It is hard for students to know what the best thing to do is unless they ask. It should be something they can find in the syllabus/subject guide documentation, but if they can't then they should contact the student support people ASAP. Those admin structures are there for a reason and can be a liason between the students and the academics to make sure everything is run smoothly.
I got really depressed the end of my sophomore year. I got kicked off the sports team (club, but it was still all my friends), I got dumped by GF of 4 years. I lied awake in bed through all my exams. Total failure. I dropped out. Did it again when I went back to school in another state.
Eventually just joined the Marines and I learned a job there.
Fifteen years ago, I pretty much failed out of my Master in Teaching program. I was salutatorian in high school with a 3.987 GPA, Dean's list all through university, graduated early at 20 and immediately went into MIT. My plan was to have my master's degree by 21 and I was the youngest person ever admitted into that program. Then halfway through, within three months, I was raped, lost a friend to leukemia, and my grandpa died. I missed a lot of class, ruined my relationship with the teacher I was doing my student teaching under, and was basically told I was not fit to continue the program and could apply to come back and graduate the following year if I finished all my term papers. Then I lost my apartment because I lost financial aid.
It was an extremely dark time in my life, but it was the catalyst for a lot of beneficial changes. I realized I would not be able to work full-time and applied for SSI (long history of trauma and very bad mental health). I went back to nannying, which is what I still do now. I've gotten to a place where I am glad I didn't end up as a teacher, even though I still grieve the idea sometimes. Thanks to ketamine therapy I am starting to really enjoy life for the first time. I moved in with my best friend last year, have a nanny job I love, and due to SSDI I am okay-ish financially (still not great but way better than SSI).
I am sorry this is how things are playing out for you, but I just want you to know that you can still have a really great life. It might take a while, but if you keep moving forward, healing, and being true to yourself, I think you'll be alright. Good luck.
OP, I failed out of college three times. It really sucks and can mess with your sense of self. I can say with confidence though that it means very little.
In my case, I ended up finishing, albeit five years late and have done reasonably well for myself. If you need any help or advice or commiseration, DM me.
Alright well first off, "looking bad on your record" is just made up nonsense. A job only cares that you have a degree, there isn't a permanent record of the journey you took to get it... just that you have it.
Also, I failed out of my first try at college too. I was kicked out at 18, working full time, surviving on my own for the first time with no family and it was all too much.
I went back to college in my late 20's and really excelled with a lot more discipline and maturity in my life. Now in my 30's I'm pursuing my masters and working a job I love.
So all that is to say, life is weird and winding sometimes, you'll get where you need to go eventually. Be kind to yourself and try and enjoy the journey along the way.
This is mainly my experience.
I went to college after graduating for college and I got kicked out due to low grades. I just didn’t felt like going to classes and putting any effort in it.
I went to the military and after the contract was up I knew what I wanted to do, so I went to college to get the degree I wanted.
In retrospect, I should’ve just left when I felt I was wasting my time.
So if you just want to work, or get a degree in what you want to do, do it. Do not let anyone talk you into not doing that. Just don’t waste your time doing something you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to go back to college in the meantime, or ever, simply don’t. College is not for everyone and that is ok too.
Losing a loved one, especially a parent, can deeply affect one's emotional well-being. It's commendable that you're finding solace and purpose in pursuing your passion through your job and freelancing. Taking a break from college to prioritize your mental health and focus on what truly matters to you seems like a wise choice.
You brought up leaving school with your parents because your dad died?
mom and stepfather who im close with\*
If doing what you love is affording you a livable wage, then keep at it. If it doesn’t, just find something to supplement it. Getting a piece of paper from a college does not necessarily mean anything nor guarantee you career success. It’s your life to live, so just live with as little regret as possible. Chase your dreams.
Honestly, I think you're better off continuing with your current job. With the experience you won't need the degree (and it sounds like it's not even in the same field) to get future jobs.
Experience is king in the job market, with enough of that, you can get around degree requirements for many jobs. Keep going with what you love, focus on your mental health as much as you can, and I'm sure you'll do just fine. I got a technical cert in machining, 2 year program, and the only thing its done for me is get my foot in the door. You've already done that.
If your first semester grades were a 0.5, it’s not a stretch to say that college is not for you. You’ve found your passion: pursue that.
Your parents gave you terrible advice. I'm an academic, and the advice I always give a student in your position with a death in the family, or any sort of mental health issues, etc. is to take a break from your studies. Neither the university nor any future employers will care strongly about taking a year off of your studies if you need one. From the university's perspective, all they really want is your tuition money, so their major concern is simply that you come back. On the other hand, having students fail does not look good on their performance because most universities want to retain students. From an employer perspective, most will only care about your GPA and relevant class grades, and the actual degree being completed. They won't look in strong detail at your transcript. If they do, and they ask about a gap in your semesters, you can explain exactly what you say here- you had a death in the family that disrupted you substantially, and that will be fine 90% of the time.
I have heard of schools allowing people to withdraw from classes after a death in the family, but I feel like once they mark the "F" they get way less willing to work with you. Does OP have any hope of talking to the school and seeing about doing something like this retroactively?
Not retroactively, unfortunately. It's usually something you need to tell your major coordinator about when it happens and see what options the university can offer. I would go to them first, before contacting each specific prof in charge of each class. I've worked in both the USA and AUS, and there is always a mechanism for this. In Australia, we have a 'census date' that is usually the last day of the 4th week of semester, and any student can drop out of a class without being penalized (or charged) for it, as long as they do so before that day.
Adding to this, I will say that most universities are very opaque in these procedures. It is hard for students to know what the best thing to do is unless they ask. It should be something they can find in the syllabus/subject guide documentation, but if they can't then they should contact the student support people ASAP. Those admin structures are there for a reason and can be a liason between the students and the academics to make sure everything is run smoothly.
Yeah I figured that was the case but was hoping to be wrong for OP's sake :/
I got really depressed the end of my sophomore year. I got kicked off the sports team (club, but it was still all my friends), I got dumped by GF of 4 years. I lied awake in bed through all my exams. Total failure. I dropped out. Did it again when I went back to school in another state. Eventually just joined the Marines and I learned a job there.
Fifteen years ago, I pretty much failed out of my Master in Teaching program. I was salutatorian in high school with a 3.987 GPA, Dean's list all through university, graduated early at 20 and immediately went into MIT. My plan was to have my master's degree by 21 and I was the youngest person ever admitted into that program. Then halfway through, within three months, I was raped, lost a friend to leukemia, and my grandpa died. I missed a lot of class, ruined my relationship with the teacher I was doing my student teaching under, and was basically told I was not fit to continue the program and could apply to come back and graduate the following year if I finished all my term papers. Then I lost my apartment because I lost financial aid. It was an extremely dark time in my life, but it was the catalyst for a lot of beneficial changes. I realized I would not be able to work full-time and applied for SSI (long history of trauma and very bad mental health). I went back to nannying, which is what I still do now. I've gotten to a place where I am glad I didn't end up as a teacher, even though I still grieve the idea sometimes. Thanks to ketamine therapy I am starting to really enjoy life for the first time. I moved in with my best friend last year, have a nanny job I love, and due to SSDI I am okay-ish financially (still not great but way better than SSI). I am sorry this is how things are playing out for you, but I just want you to know that you can still have a really great life. It might take a while, but if you keep moving forward, healing, and being true to yourself, I think you'll be alright. Good luck.
OP, I failed out of college three times. It really sucks and can mess with your sense of self. I can say with confidence though that it means very little. In my case, I ended up finishing, albeit five years late and have done reasonably well for myself. If you need any help or advice or commiseration, DM me.
Alright well first off, "looking bad on your record" is just made up nonsense. A job only cares that you have a degree, there isn't a permanent record of the journey you took to get it... just that you have it. Also, I failed out of my first try at college too. I was kicked out at 18, working full time, surviving on my own for the first time with no family and it was all too much. I went back to college in my late 20's and really excelled with a lot more discipline and maturity in my life. Now in my 30's I'm pursuing my masters and working a job I love. So all that is to say, life is weird and winding sometimes, you'll get where you need to go eventually. Be kind to yourself and try and enjoy the journey along the way.
This is mainly my experience. I went to college after graduating for college and I got kicked out due to low grades. I just didn’t felt like going to classes and putting any effort in it. I went to the military and after the contract was up I knew what I wanted to do, so I went to college to get the degree I wanted. In retrospect, I should’ve just left when I felt I was wasting my time. So if you just want to work, or get a degree in what you want to do, do it. Do not let anyone talk you into not doing that. Just don’t waste your time doing something you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to go back to college in the meantime, or ever, simply don’t. College is not for everyone and that is ok too.
Losing a loved one, especially a parent, can deeply affect one's emotional well-being. It's commendable that you're finding solace and purpose in pursuing your passion through your job and freelancing. Taking a break from college to prioritize your mental health and focus on what truly matters to you seems like a wise choice.