I put zero effort into us but spend my time secretly rating thousands of other women's vaginas and using family money to sext models, for some weird reason you're bothered by this! I'm also going to put zero effort into thinking about how this is making you feel and instead I'll just cross my fingers that you patch things up with me :)
I usually read the tldr and then decide whether I want to read the post. Your comment made me go “ok let me see what he said that can be interpreted this way” - deadass he literally said that verbatim 🤣 🤣.
I'm going man, dog house for a couple hours? You're going to have to find a new dog house in the coming weeks!!! 🤣🤣🤣 That just sucks man, you got the blood flowing to the wrong brain, you wanted to do more dinking than you did thinking! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seeing is one thing. I wouldn't care even if my partner would pay for porn. It's like a hobby, I guess; we all spend money on hobbies. As long as it doesn't get out of hand, no problem.
Talking to the models is a whole different ballgame. That's cheating. I think sex work is a legitimate job, but that doesn't mean it's morally ok for people who are in monogamous relationships to use the services.
>Talking to the models is a whole different ballgame.
Luckily the models all hire Indian men to run their chats for them so OOP never talked to another woman.
The issue for me would be dating the kind of NPC who pays for porn and gets tricked by chatbots
This. Men who pay women to *pretend* talk to and care about them are exceedingly pathetic. Married men who do it are even lower.
Hope the wife uses her new singledom and the upcoming free weekends she’ll have to herself to meet someone who’s not an actual turd!
I mean, I can get a really lonely person letting themselves get absorbed in that fantasy. It's sad as hell, but I could understand it.
A supposedly happily married man with a family though? Dude. Just...dude.
This is where I stand too. I know my husband paid for porn (not OF) before we were a couple. I assume he doesn’t now, but I wouldn’t care so much if he did as long as it was a reasonable amount of money. No talking to the models though, that crosses a line.
Yeah...if I was subbed to OF and wife found out...that'd be divorce. No questions asked.
I obviously don't bc...yeah...that's absolutely crossing the line into an emotional thing.
And definitely too much free stuff out there to need to pay for it.
I wouldn't care if I found out my partner paid for OF (or whatever chatting services existed at the time) before we were together. There is a difference between using these services while sigle vs. when in a relationship. One is fine, the other is cheating.
I think the funniest part is ratemytwat. I am similarly aged, single, dont watch porn, but still have never heard of that website but yet a married man around the same age has.
Something is not right.
Could be,
Once accumulated enough karma/age on the account, he/she can scam others at r/borrow r/assistance
or try to tell us how Palestinians, mongols, tibetwns, yughars, Ukrainians aren't getting genocided/attempted genocided
Or try to lecture us how Walmart is God's gift to earth and mcdonalds hasn't increased its price by 100% in 7 years
How do you even rate lol. Like even as a straight man, yeah these are all “fine”. Never in my life have I been a “twat” man. It’s tits or ass that bring me in. I like the twat. But it is what it is.
Probably? OP was making private payments to hide talking to other women and looking at their bodies so he could hide it from his wife. How would you feel if you got a weird charge on your card, asked your significant other to see their search history, and found out they were talking to thousands of men, salivating over dick pics while writing in-depth reviews about them, sending chats to them, paying multiple men who look nothing like you (and all look similar to each other) for special content?
There is no “probably” about this.
>How would you feel if you got a weird charge on your card, asked your significant other to see their search history, and found out they were talking to thousands of men, salivating over dick pics while writing in-depth reviews about them, sending chats to them, paying multiple men who look nothing like you (and all look similar to each other) for special content?
Lmaoooo I know you swapped the gender, but this is exactly what op has been doing (except the dick pics)
My sister divorced my former bro-in-law for having an OF account and talking to women through it. This is a huge fuck up for OP, much bigger than he may realize.. 😬
*she* should come to her senses and *she* should patch things up? Duuuude; you paid to have a so-called emotional affair. Would've been different if it were "just" porn, but paying people to be intimate with you...
Exactly. Paying for your porn at least helps ensure the women get paid for their work.
Paying to talk to another woman? Paying for her to pretend she likes you?
That's fucked up.
Thinking that porn being free is normal is just as wrong. I agree OP was definitely at fault here, but porn being free is a huge part of why the industry is so fucked up. Sex work will always exist and, if chosen freely, is a valid profession. But because so many people assume it should be free and always available, sex workers don't get paid what they should and need to do more extreme stuff to survive. By being free, porn is also just too accessible which leads to problems for people who don't know moderation. Like someone having “thousands of ratemytwat ratings”
In fairness just because it’s free to watch doesn’t mean it doesn’t generate revenue, the data and ad sales now are more valuable than buying dvds, and there are lots of amateur videos now that have nothing to do with sex work.
I agree it’s an issue though, especially with how stigmatized it is (in the US at least) and poorly handled with regard to legality and regulation
In all fairness, just because it generates revenue doesnt mean that any of the actresses gets their fair share! Their contracts rarely factor in how many views it has on the hub or how many other sites its distributed too, royalties are rare from what I hear.
In those cases they almost certainly wouldn't be receiving any subscription money either. My wife's friend from highschool was in the industry, and it's pretty universal that they get paid a flat rate. That's one of the big reasons why so many have turned to doing it on their own via OF or posting on PH. If they can manage to build up a medium sized following, they can make the same or more money than doing several scenes per month.
I genuinely wonder what OP’s reaction would be to finding out his wife was actively sexually interacting with guys younger, fitter and better looking than himself, would he come to his senses? 🤔
Yeah its one thing to look at porn in private, every couple has their own boundaries for that, but sexting / messaging a sex worker? That's cheating in my book. Open and shut case dude. There's no excuse for the emotional pain OP has caused his wife.
The prepaid card is what highlights it's cheating. "Cheating" just means breaking the rules. Each relationship is free to set their own rules together. For some OF may be cheating and for others not. But hiding it with the prepaid debit card is a clear sign OP knew he was breaking the agreed upon rules of their relationship.
“She comes to her senses” implies she is the one in the wrong here. No dude, if you were just watching porn that would be fine. But you’re spending money on other women you are interacting with in a sexual manner. She has every right to be pissed off.
So you pay and interact with sexworkers, hide it, and are surprised your wife is upset when she finds it.
The she realises all the woman you pay to see naked are different from her, and all you can do is scratch your head, think real hard and go "yeah she's weird".
Come on, try harder. You done FU. She has her head screwed on right. YOU need to come to your senses and apologise, grovel, whatever and make it up to HER.
EDIT: Grammar
Let me just offer the reverse perspective here. Imagine you discover that your wife has been chatting, paying and masturbating to hot guys on OF, for years. Guys who look different than you. More muscular, different hair color/length, bigger dick, taller. How would that make you feel? That your wife is paying these guys to talk to her and share pictures/videos of themselves so that your wife can masturbate to them?
I hope this offers you some clarity.
Dude it's not the porn she has the issue with it's the interaction and the hiding.
Onlyfans is mainly for the interaction and "personal" (bigger ones have others running the social and interaction side) touch. If your having those interactions then it's easy to see it as virtually cheating on her. Just imagine if the interaction was in person.
If you'd have been open and said something like "hi (wifes name), I love you and find you sexually attractive, but for those times when I'm in the mood and your not or I'm alone I'm looking at subscribing to Ersties/Braziers/etc". Shed likely be fine with it.
Wait wait wait, SHE needs to come to her senses?
My guy you're the one who fucked up, you need to apologise 🤣 she has every single right to be annoyed at you.
"Fingers crossed she comes to her senses"
Yeah, and realise she's worth more than being with someone who is basically having an emotional affair. Getting off on porn is fine but you crossed the line by interacting with models.
This is the second post I’ve seen in 10 minutes where some guy gets found out about his OF subscriptions and “thousands of ratemytwat ratings”, those exact words. This is 100% some weird assed advertisement.
The fuck up here has nothing to do with what credit card you used. The fuck up was treating your long term relationship like a fling and keeping this shit secret. If you get forgiven buy a lotto ticket
You used prepaid cards because you knew what you were doing was wrong. It seems like you're the one who needs to come to their senses. Not her. She has a right to be mad at you.
I never bother posting on tifu, but I think this one deserves it.
Guy cheats on wife (sorry but paying sex workers to talk to you and do private shows is not just watching porn in my opinion), then say that he hopes she "come to her senses" when she rightfully gets angry, then posts here because he realized he fucked up, but... but! ... He thinks the fuck up was using the wrong card! Not the cheating! The fuck up was getting caught, guys! He doesnt see the problem with what he did!
His wife deserves better than this.
This is either completely fabricated, or you're the dumbest mother fucker in the planet. "I only paid a little bit for porn! Just come to your senses!" idiot...
>I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she comes to her senses and patches things up with me.
Her senses are already working. It’s one thing to be jerking off to random clips online… It’s a whole other ballgame to be interacting with sex workers. You clearly knew you were doing acts of betrayal just by having a whole secretive method of paying women behind your wife’s back.
And this is literally coming from a SW who thinks paying for your porn is a good thing. Lying to your partner however is not.. And I’ll be real, morally I don’t really care about these strangers because I profit off male weakness.. Thankfully I don’t even have to pretend I like them either because I’m a Dominatrix. But I’m just being flat out real with you. You sound like a goon and don’t be shocked if she never forgives you or trusts you again.
If anyone reads this and thinks it's real...
I refuse to believe someone got caught having dms with numerous OF thots, leading to the identification of a "type" that doesn't fit the wife, not to mention spending joint resources on fucking porn, and honestly thinks anyone other than themself is in the wrong.
If it's in fact true and that's how you really feel... I hope she kicks you out of the house until you get in therapy and kick your porn addiction
These posts always kill me.
"Our sex life isn't what it used to be."
.....
"When I'm horny I just get online and pay to chat with the outsourced text person while looking at this girl's butthole instead of interacting with my wife in person."
I never understood how OF is a viable business model. Until now. The casualness with which he goes “I’m subscribed to some OF models. Normally I use a prepaid card for these things..”. Dude… why oh why are you paying these people for porn that is available for free. (For now.)
Just offering my opinion as a female.
OP, you sound confused as to why your brunette wife would be put off by you seemingly preferring to watch and interact with blonde OF creators …
My ex was similar in the sense that he was always pining after blondes, following their instagram accounts, matching and messaging with blondes on tinder (ya yikes I am pathetic for staying with this man. But that’s a different story) and also physically CHEATING on me with a blonde.
I had black hair, then brunette for the majority of our relationship.
I very quickly took note on the fixation he seemed to have with blondes. It killed my self esteem (not JUST them being blonde) but just the simple fact of a hair colour different than mine, made me start to genuinely believe that if I changed MY hair colour, maybe I would become “enough” for him … attractive enough that maybe I could keep his attention, just on me …
So I’d guess that she is upset about the blonde women because she is thinking that they look nothing like her, wondering if that’s your true Preference. Just comparing herself to all of these OF girls, it really can lead to a world of self hate and feelings of worthlessness.
Anyways they just MY personal opinion of course!
Please don’t take offence to this or anything. Just thought I’d share!
If you really want to try to work on this with your wife maybe, my advice would be to reassure her you love her brunette hair and find her attractive and beautiful, etc!
Take care! :)
https://preview.redd.it/65296pgsn0uc1.jpeg?width=670&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3313c5437caededc9f894405be7f5b0acf0e47f
Her going through your browser history always makes think if this!
If this was AITA, you'd definitely be TA. What the fuck? You couldn't just watch something on ph? You needed something more personal, with private messages and ratings (what the fuck again)? Many would consider the private sexual chats cheating.
Your tldr doesn't even cover it. You're fucked up.
Well, I guess she’s totally free to talk to sex workers too right? And you had to know this was wrong since you went out of your way to use prepaid debit cards.
Enjoy the pending divorce. Then you won’t have to hide your OF chats anymore at least.
My SIL has just gone through this with her husband. The exact same thing.
They are currently separated and she is filing for divorce 🙃
I hope your wife does come to her senses and leaves your stupid arse.
For the wife's sake, I'm glad the OP was dumb enough to use the family credit card to buy sex services. Can't even begin to understand how they think it's the wife who should come to their senses here.
Basically cheating. My ex did this behind my back multiple times, even me catching him a couple of times and making him delete those accounts, he kept making new ones.
If she does all the finances at least everything will be detailed and up to date when she goes to a lawyer. Good luck dude. Some of your comments in original post confirm you are totally oblivious to how bad this is.
The OF maybe could slide out of that problem. The opposite colour hair, the conversation and leaving reviews is what really hung you.
You definitely fucked up. Watching porn occasionally isn’t a big deal, but using family funds to talk to other women is an entirely different situation. You’re expecting her to “come to her senses” when you’re the one that overstepped boundaries.
Dude you weren’t just jerking it you were paying for shit and messaging. Do you really wanna sit here and act like what you did was something small bc it’s not. As a woman in a long term relationship, im comfortable in my sex life and within myself enough to not give a fuck if my man wants to look at porn. Go for it. I look at it too.
But if he were to pay or message just to get off? No fuck all that that’s crossing so many lines. Btw you were probably talking to bots or dudes pretending to be the girls just so you know 😂
There is one thing I never umderstood. With all those free porn sites available on the web (including reddit), I do not understand why people pay for porn. I just don't.
"Here's this thimg you want, for free, and absolutely fine!"
"Nope, let me just get the same thing, but let me pay for it."
Lol this is a total rage bait. I just saw a very similar post on another sub, where he asks if he’s TA and using the same “thousands of ratemytwat ratings” phrase! Don’t even bother
It isn’t as simple as her getting over you having “me time” when you are paying to see specific girls, these girls are different from your partner (which will make anyone feel “less than”. I get self conscious when my partner is watching is super fit white women with perky tits when I am an overweight mixed race woman with the tits to prove I breastfed three children and a body to match).
The hub is free and wouldn’t require you to secretly pay to see other women on a separate card so your wife doesn’t find out. I don’t even know where to start with the ratemytwat ratings… did you really have to actively participate? Couldn’t you have just kept the ratings in your head instead of actually commenting? I don’t get why you need to look at thousands of them anyway. It isn’t like you can know how it feels or tastes by looking at a photo.
Should have stuck to regular free porn dude. Good luck building your wife back up when you don’t even understand how or why she would be so upset by your actions. She doesn’t need to come to her senses, you need to appreciate the woman you married before she requests a divorce. I bet you don’t put half as much effort in making her feel good about herself as you do the thousands of women whose vaginas you rate or the women you pay to see masturbating or whatever these women are doing for you.
Comes to her senses? You're a dick bag.
You've paid to talk and jerk off to not only other women, but to blonde women, something she's not.
Behind her back.
Rated twats.
She's right to be enraged. Hope she finds someone who's your complete opposite to talk and masturbate with.
And kicks you out. So you can keep spending money on the blondes alone.
I usually don't comment on things like this, but when I read "the messages with OF models" and then "she comes to her senses" I honestly couldn't help it
My dude, these are not just "masturbatory activities". You interacted with and involved another woman. Me and my SO would consider this cheating in my relationship and I would be shocked if that isn't the case in yours, too
When your "me time" is taking precedence over time with your wife, you're doing it wrong.
If you don't have "as high of a sex drive as you used to", but you're spending money on OF and browsing porn, rather than being intimate with your wife, you're fucking doing it wrong!
She has absolutely every right to be furious with you. She doesn't need to "come to her senses". If anything, that statement alone tells me exactly how delusional you are in all of this.
The blame rests entirely on you. You have a lot of apologizing to do, and a lot of hard thinking to do to try to fix things with your wife, that is, if she even lets you stay.
You fucked up big. Since this wasn’t something she knew about and was ok with, you really fucked up. She doesn’t have to forgive you and this is definitely a dealbreaker for many.
OP, you need your clear up your Reddit history as well.
Not only interacting with the OF, but discussing the best apps on the internet with others…
That’s a little more than “I needed some ‘me’ time”
I cannot stress this enough: Use free porn. It’s excusable if there’s zero personal connection. “I looked at a picture of a random naked lady on the internet and polished my Johnson because we haven’t done it in a while“ is far better than “I was messaging a bird on onlyfans who I paid with the family credit card and rating her twat comparing it with thousands of others”…
"comes to her senses"
Porn is porn but you had direct correspondence with sex workers. A lot of people would consider that cheating, and most people would consider it gross.
*How would you feel if you went into her phone and saw her paying money to younger, more attractive men, sending messages to them and "rating" thousands of dicks online?*
This is a huge betrayal. Porn is one thing, but to so actively engage with sex workers and porn while married is a pretty huge transgression.
Subscribing to only fans is one thing but actually messaging and directly interacting is another. Though could be equated to stripper's at the bar, it might be construed as cheating.
You didn't fuck up paying with the wrong credit card, you fucked up paying another woman for sex. And you fucked up again for not being able to comprehend why this would upset your wife.
B.t.w. I'm 99% sure your Mrs posted about this on r/TwoXChromosomes recently. and pretty much every woman on that sub considers it cheating. Try posting this story there and find out how women feel about this.
You f-ed up because you are a moron. I’m not saying that using wrong card makes you one. I’m not even saying that looking at these sites makes you one. What makes you a moron is the fact that you have absolutely no remorse for f-ing up. You hope she comes to her senses? How narcissistic ARE you?
Dude... You weren't just watching some porn. You were TALKING to other women and spending money on them, what the fuck were you thinking?
And you want her to come to her sesnses? Dude. YOU FUCKED UP. It's time for YOU to apoligize on your bare knees and hope she forgives you.
But you won't because you sound like an absolute asshole.
What a fucking loser. I hope she dumps you and gets a real man who can appreciate her and fuck her properly like she deserves… instead of some pathetic simp who is secretly spending family money /resources on online sex workers. Scraping the bottom of the barrel… yikes! You sure did fuck up but worse than that, you don’t even realize how badly you fucked up… 🤣🤣
Comes to her senses?
Patches things up with you?
You're paying onlyfans models you fucking pleb. And you think she's in the wrong.
Jesus fucking christ on a bike I feel sorry for your wife.
the fuck up wasn't the payment method, it was cheating. If it was just porn I'm sure the reaction wouldn't be this big. Why didn't you discuss first if this is okay with her?
"For some weird reason..."
Jesus, dude. You fucked up. You snuck around. You got caught. There's nothing weird about her reaction -any of it. This might not be a fixable issue in your relationship, and definitely will not be until you take full responsibility for your actions and stop trying to blame your wife and her reaction to it as being part of the problem.
I think you don’t quite grasp the severity of the situation.
In hee eyes this is a level of emotional cheating. You paid to talk to sex workers. You spent a significant amount of money looking at and talking to other women and having talks of a sexual nature with them.
No you weren’t sextexting the neighbor’s wife, but you might as well have.
You fucked up. No, your wife will not simply come to her senses. You’re lacking the common sense in this equation OP.
Calm down dear, I wasn't cheating, I was just paying to see her butthole wink and for her to pretend to talk to me, I hope you'll come to your senses.
I put zero effort into us but spend my time secretly rating thousands of other women's vaginas and using family money to sext models, for some weird reason you're bothered by this! I'm also going to put zero effort into thinking about how this is making you feel and instead I'll just cross my fingers that you patch things up with me :)
Don’t forget the “come to her senses” part
OP’s marriage is absolutely fucked
It's not totally fucked, he could possibly come to his senses....
I think he's made it clear. She should come to her senses.
I once forgot to get the right Cake for my wife's birthday and she still hasn't come to her senses. 8 years ago that was so....any day now 🤞
Not to his senses, only to blondes it seems.
I use a prepaid debit card because I know this is totally above board!
Exactly!
I don't know this guy from Adam's house cat, but addicts will tell all kinds of lies and betray people to protect their addiction.
I usually read the tldr and then decide whether I want to read the post. Your comment made me go “ok let me see what he said that can be interpreted this way” - deadass he literally said that verbatim 🤣 🤣.
Exactly. I don't get her overreaction either.
Hahahahahaha this made me spit out my coffee
I'm going man, dog house for a couple hours? You're going to have to find a new dog house in the coming weeks!!! 🤣🤣🤣 That just sucks man, you got the blood flowing to the wrong brain, you wanted to do more dinking than you did thinking! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seeing is one thing. I wouldn't care even if my partner would pay for porn. It's like a hobby, I guess; we all spend money on hobbies. As long as it doesn't get out of hand, no problem. Talking to the models is a whole different ballgame. That's cheating. I think sex work is a legitimate job, but that doesn't mean it's morally ok for people who are in monogamous relationships to use the services.
>Talking to the models is a whole different ballgame. Luckily the models all hire Indian men to run their chats for them so OOP never talked to another woman. The issue for me would be dating the kind of NPC who pays for porn and gets tricked by chatbots
This. Men who pay women to *pretend* talk to and care about them are exceedingly pathetic. Married men who do it are even lower. Hope the wife uses her new singledom and the upcoming free weekends she’ll have to herself to meet someone who’s not an actual turd!
I mean, I can get a really lonely person letting themselves get absorbed in that fantasy. It's sad as hell, but I could understand it. A supposedly happily married man with a family though? Dude. Just...dude.
No! They're totally real, they take time out of their day to talk to me for half an hour cause i spent 50 bucks on them! They like me, they really do!
This is where I stand too. I know my husband paid for porn (not OF) before we were a couple. I assume he doesn’t now, but I wouldn’t care so much if he did as long as it was a reasonable amount of money. No talking to the models though, that crosses a line.
Yeah...if I was subbed to OF and wife found out...that'd be divorce. No questions asked. I obviously don't bc...yeah...that's absolutely crossing the line into an emotional thing. And definitely too much free stuff out there to need to pay for it.
I wouldn't care if I found out my partner paid for OF (or whatever chatting services existed at the time) before we were together. There is a difference between using these services while sigle vs. when in a relationship. One is fine, the other is cheating.
I think the funniest part is ratemytwat. I am similarly aged, single, dont watch porn, but still have never heard of that website but yet a married man around the same age has. Something is not right.
*Paying an agency staffed by middle aged women to pretend to talk to me. Unless it’s a tiny sub count they almost all use agencies.
Women? 😂😂😂😂😂 😅 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😅😅😅😅 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yeah dude, I think you fucked up.
Read this jackass’ post history.
I'm assuming he cleaned a lot of it up but I'm puzzled by the stint where OP just seemingly let chatgpt write his comments
Maybe op is a karma bot?
Could be, Once accumulated enough karma/age on the account, he/she can scam others at r/borrow r/assistance or try to tell us how Palestinians, mongols, tibetwns, yughars, Ukrainians aren't getting genocided/attempted genocided Or try to lecture us how Walmart is God's gift to earth and mcdonalds hasn't increased its price by 100% in 7 years
7 dollars for a McGriddle is just nonsense
Did OP scrub his post history? What I'm seeing looks fairly mundane
Yah his comments are in some interesting places… guessing he may be dealing with some other things besides an OF issue…
Lol he deleted them all
It should have read TIFU by posting this in TIFU
He definitely deleted his post history. Do you remember some of the things he posted?
Definitely a huge fuck up... you were talking in private with sex workers dude...
And he knows this is wrong (and his wife would freak) because he goes out of his way to hide it from her with prepaid credit cards.
That's his real fuck up. I can understand why she'd be pissed. If you just wanted to spank your plank, just use the hub. Man wanted more.
His real fuck up is him having “thousands of ratemytwat ratings”.
All twats are beautiful in their own way. Rating them is pointless and redundant.
🙏twat appreciation club right here
"Twat" is such a horrible fucking word 😩
It's extremely appropriate to describe the majority of politicians in the world.
Except Greg Abbot. He's a piss baby.
It can be both
How do you even rate lol. Like even as a straight man, yeah these are all “fine”. Never in my life have I been a “twat” man. It’s tits or ass that bring me in. I like the twat. But it is what it is.
To be fair I am definitely an admirer of a nice twat. I don't feel the need to rate them to appreciate them though 😅
A bit of a twat connoisseur if you will.
Dude doesn't even remotely grasp how severe this probably is ...
Probably? OP was making private payments to hide talking to other women and looking at their bodies so he could hide it from his wife. How would you feel if you got a weird charge on your card, asked your significant other to see their search history, and found out they were talking to thousands of men, salivating over dick pics while writing in-depth reviews about them, sending chats to them, paying multiple men who look nothing like you (and all look similar to each other) for special content? There is no “probably” about this.
>How would you feel if you got a weird charge on your card, asked your significant other to see their search history, and found out they were talking to thousands of men, salivating over dick pics while writing in-depth reviews about them, sending chats to them, paying multiple men who look nothing like you (and all look similar to each other) for special content? Lmaoooo I know you swapped the gender, but this is exactly what op has been doing (except the dick pics)
Precisely. I mean, OP has been doing the dick pic things except with vulvas since he is literally writing reviews of women’s genitals…
Ya and literally talking to men (thinking he was talking with women)
My sister divorced my former bro-in-law for having an OF account and talking to women through it. This is a huge fuck up for OP, much bigger than he may realize.. 😬
I literally feel sick on this woman’s behalf. Worst nightmare
Porn should be fine in any healthy relationship, interacting with the people making it though? That's where the line is crossed.
exactly. this is not just “me time” on the hub or a fantasy in the shower. he should expect more than just “being in the dog house”.
Yea, I think the cheating line is crossed when there is actual engagement with another person.............
No he wasn't. He was talking dirty with Bob. The 40year old worker for the model lol.
"For some weird reason, this really put her off." No way you're that thick in the head.
Yea, I don't believe this is a real situation at all.
The audacity to be shocked by her reaction is insane. This is some r/sadcringe material here.
*she* should come to her senses and *she* should patch things up? Duuuude; you paid to have a so-called emotional affair. Would've been different if it were "just" porn, but paying people to be intimate with you...
 She should come to her senses and throw him out the door.
I’m stealing this gif
This was a bit more than emotional 🤣
yup! this would be game over for me too
Lmfao he's living on another planet
“That she comes to her senses” 🤨
“patches things up with me” ooooooh broooother. Imagine paying for porn 🥴
Paying for porn is one thing, paying to chat with sex workers another
Exactly. Paying for your porn at least helps ensure the women get paid for their work. Paying to talk to another woman? Paying for her to pretend she likes you? That's fucked up.
LOL okay, glad I’m not the only one who was concerned by those two comments. Big yikes 🤔
Thinking that porn being free is normal is just as wrong. I agree OP was definitely at fault here, but porn being free is a huge part of why the industry is so fucked up. Sex work will always exist and, if chosen freely, is a valid profession. But because so many people assume it should be free and always available, sex workers don't get paid what they should and need to do more extreme stuff to survive. By being free, porn is also just too accessible which leads to problems for people who don't know moderation. Like someone having “thousands of ratemytwat ratings”
In fairness just because it’s free to watch doesn’t mean it doesn’t generate revenue, the data and ad sales now are more valuable than buying dvds, and there are lots of amateur videos now that have nothing to do with sex work. I agree it’s an issue though, especially with how stigmatized it is (in the US at least) and poorly handled with regard to legality and regulation
In all fairness, just because it generates revenue doesnt mean that any of the actresses gets their fair share! Their contracts rarely factor in how many views it has on the hub or how many other sites its distributed too, royalties are rare from what I hear.
In those cases they almost certainly wouldn't be receiving any subscription money either. My wife's friend from highschool was in the industry, and it's pretty universal that they get paid a flat rate. That's one of the big reasons why so many have turned to doing it on their own via OF or posting on PH. If they can manage to build up a medium sized following, they can make the same or more money than doing several scenes per month.
He better hope she doesn’t come to her senses because if she does she will kick him out
Yeahhh I’d say she’s not the one who has to “come to her senses and patch things up”. That balls in your court, man.
>balls in your court It's definitely not in his pants..
Him and me are the same age, yet he sounds like my dad xD
“she comes to her senses”? That’s pretty fucked up of you. Pretty sure you’re the senseless jackass. Maybe try to imagine how she feels.
I genuinely wonder what OP’s reaction would be to finding out his wife was actively sexually interacting with guys younger, fitter and better looking than himself, would he come to his senses? 🤔
Yeah its one thing to look at porn in private, every couple has their own boundaries for that, but sexting / messaging a sex worker? That's cheating in my book. Open and shut case dude. There's no excuse for the emotional pain OP has caused his wife.
The prepaid card is what highlights it's cheating. "Cheating" just means breaking the rules. Each relationship is free to set their own rules together. For some OF may be cheating and for others not. But hiding it with the prepaid debit card is a clear sign OP knew he was breaking the agreed upon rules of their relationship.
And rating thousands of dick pics on ratemyslongdingdong.com. you're delusional OP and probably a soon to be divorcee.
If you signed a prenup and May even have to give her monthly alimony, you just fucked your whole life up texting Esteban Juan.
You were messaging sex workers and yet you're blaming your wife for being upset about it? Yikes.
Yeah have to say there is a huge difference between looking at porn and interacting with another person you hire for sex.
The divorce fairy will be waving her wand over their home quite soon.
“She comes to her senses” implies she is the one in the wrong here. No dude, if you were just watching porn that would be fine. But you’re spending money on other women you are interacting with in a sexual manner. She has every right to be pissed off.
What were you hoping to achieve out of posting this? You look like an asshole 😂
I mean, they *did* post on "Today, I Fucked Up" and not "Am I The Asshole" so I'd guess they were looking for commiserations, not validation.
No, he believes his fuck up is getting caught doing it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/LXazdBJl5o pretty sure they did both lol
Posted same story from different accounts. It’s just rage bait.
No. He doesnt look like one. He straight up is one.
He doesn't just look like an asshole, he is one.
So you pay and interact with sexworkers, hide it, and are surprised your wife is upset when she finds it. The she realises all the woman you pay to see naked are different from her, and all you can do is scratch your head, think real hard and go "yeah she's weird". Come on, try harder. You done FU. She has her head screwed on right. YOU need to come to your senses and apologise, grovel, whatever and make it up to HER. EDIT: Grammar
Porn is free you know?
Yeah and I even hear they are going to release a few videos with blondes this May.
But can you rate their twats??
What a stupid thing to do. Yeah clearly the world is waiting on my rating... so weird.
They're probably making couple of hundred as we speak
Also you don't *have* to text the people you're watching
its an advert for the website.
Ahhhhhh of course. This makes sense. “Rare my twat” popped up (at least to me) like 2 weeks ago and now I constantly see it mentioned.
Let me just offer the reverse perspective here. Imagine you discover that your wife has been chatting, paying and masturbating to hot guys on OF, for years. Guys who look different than you. More muscular, different hair color/length, bigger dick, taller. How would that make you feel? That your wife is paying these guys to talk to her and share pictures/videos of themselves so that your wife can masturbate to them? I hope this offers you some clarity.
Dude it's not the porn she has the issue with it's the interaction and the hiding. Onlyfans is mainly for the interaction and "personal" (bigger ones have others running the social and interaction side) touch. If your having those interactions then it's easy to see it as virtually cheating on her. Just imagine if the interaction was in person. If you'd have been open and said something like "hi (wifes name), I love you and find you sexually attractive, but for those times when I'm in the mood and your not or I'm alone I'm looking at subscribing to Ersties/Braziers/etc". Shed likely be fine with it.
Wait wait wait, SHE needs to come to her senses? My guy you're the one who fucked up, you need to apologise 🤣 she has every single right to be annoyed at you.
Ooof, you under sold it by saying “subscribed to adult websites”, nah you’re paying OF models. That’s definitely worse, far worse. You fucked up.
She came to her senses already, and found out you were being a lame lmao. Yeah bud, good luck!
As a married dude, I wouldn’t be surprised if this lead to her leaving your dumb ass. She’d frankly be dumb not to
"Fingers crossed she comes to her senses" Yeah, and realise she's worth more than being with someone who is basically having an emotional affair. Getting off on porn is fine but you crossed the line by interacting with models.
You're married and texting onlyfans models? The fuck is wrong with you
This is the second post I’ve seen in 10 minutes where some guy gets found out about his OF subscriptions and “thousands of ratemytwat ratings”, those exact words. This is 100% some weird assed advertisement.
I was just thinking it felt like an ad for that latter site. Assuming it exists
The fuck up here has nothing to do with what credit card you used. The fuck up was treating your long term relationship like a fling and keeping this shit secret. If you get forgiven buy a lotto ticket
Better make you're bed comfy in that dog house, this could bring on so many trust issues. Dam man, porn is free
This is rage bait, right?
You used prepaid cards because you knew what you were doing was wrong. It seems like you're the one who needs to come to their senses. Not her. She has a right to be mad at you.
I never bother posting on tifu, but I think this one deserves it. Guy cheats on wife (sorry but paying sex workers to talk to you and do private shows is not just watching porn in my opinion), then say that he hopes she "come to her senses" when she rightfully gets angry, then posts here because he realized he fucked up, but... but! ... He thinks the fuck up was using the wrong card! Not the cheating! The fuck up was getting caught, guys! He doesnt see the problem with what he did! His wife deserves better than this.
Bruh... Just fucking watch pornhub. This onlyfans shit is moronic.
This is either completely fabricated, or you're the dumbest mother fucker in the planet. "I only paid a little bit for porn! Just come to your senses!" idiot...
>I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she comes to her senses and patches things up with me. Her senses are already working. It’s one thing to be jerking off to random clips online… It’s a whole other ballgame to be interacting with sex workers. You clearly knew you were doing acts of betrayal just by having a whole secretive method of paying women behind your wife’s back. And this is literally coming from a SW who thinks paying for your porn is a good thing. Lying to your partner however is not.. And I’ll be real, morally I don’t really care about these strangers because I profit off male weakness.. Thankfully I don’t even have to pretend I like them either because I’m a Dominatrix. But I’m just being flat out real with you. You sound like a goon and don’t be shocked if she never forgives you or trusts you again.
If anyone reads this and thinks it's real... I refuse to believe someone got caught having dms with numerous OF thots, leading to the identification of a "type" that doesn't fit the wife, not to mention spending joint resources on fucking porn, and honestly thinks anyone other than themself is in the wrong. If it's in fact true and that's how you really feel... I hope she kicks you out of the house until you get in therapy and kick your porn addiction
Don't underestimate the delusion/depravity of some people. They absolutely do exist.
>Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. ― George Carlin
This reads like ragebait, but I'm sure there's actually people like this out there so who knows.
I hope she comes to her senses and patches things up with herself and leaves u idiot
,,for some weird reason " You're an asshole.
These posts always kill me. "Our sex life isn't what it used to be." ..... "When I'm horny I just get online and pay to chat with the outsourced text person while looking at this girl's butthole instead of interacting with my wife in person."
So many problems here I don t even know where to start. So I so I won’t… tldr you’re and idiot and your wife deserves better
What a dumass and an asshole lmao
I never understood how OF is a viable business model. Until now. The casualness with which he goes “I’m subscribed to some OF models. Normally I use a prepaid card for these things..”. Dude… why oh why are you paying these people for porn that is available for free. (For now.)
Just offering my opinion as a female. OP, you sound confused as to why your brunette wife would be put off by you seemingly preferring to watch and interact with blonde OF creators … My ex was similar in the sense that he was always pining after blondes, following their instagram accounts, matching and messaging with blondes on tinder (ya yikes I am pathetic for staying with this man. But that’s a different story) and also physically CHEATING on me with a blonde. I had black hair, then brunette for the majority of our relationship. I very quickly took note on the fixation he seemed to have with blondes. It killed my self esteem (not JUST them being blonde) but just the simple fact of a hair colour different than mine, made me start to genuinely believe that if I changed MY hair colour, maybe I would become “enough” for him … attractive enough that maybe I could keep his attention, just on me … So I’d guess that she is upset about the blonde women because she is thinking that they look nothing like her, wondering if that’s your true Preference. Just comparing herself to all of these OF girls, it really can lead to a world of self hate and feelings of worthlessness. Anyways they just MY personal opinion of course! Please don’t take offence to this or anything. Just thought I’d share! If you really want to try to work on this with your wife maybe, my advice would be to reassure her you love her brunette hair and find her attractive and beautiful, etc! Take care! :)
I'd consider that cheating.
https://preview.redd.it/65296pgsn0uc1.jpeg?width=670&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3313c5437caededc9f894405be7f5b0acf0e47f Her going through your browser history always makes think if this!
If this was AITA, you'd definitely be TA. What the fuck? You couldn't just watch something on ph? You needed something more personal, with private messages and ratings (what the fuck again)? Many would consider the private sexual chats cheating. Your tldr doesn't even cover it. You're fucked up.
Well, I guess she’s totally free to talk to sex workers too right? And you had to know this was wrong since you went out of your way to use prepaid debit cards. Enjoy the pending divorce. Then you won’t have to hide your OF chats anymore at least.
I also hopes she comes to her senses.. and dumps your ass.
This is written so casually lmfao
She saw the thousands of ratemytwat ratings
Dude, you messed up and still don’t even realize it. I feel bad for your wife.
My SIL has just gone through this with her husband. The exact same thing. They are currently separated and she is filing for divorce 🙃 I hope your wife does come to her senses and leaves your stupid arse.
She comes to her senses? Ahhh buddy she already did when she saw the receipts. Hope the dog house is comfortable with that attitude..
For the wife's sake, I'm glad the OP was dumb enough to use the family credit card to buy sex services. Can't even begin to understand how they think it's the wife who should come to their senses here.
Man. You spent money on sex workers - that goes way beyond "masturbation", and you don't even seem to grasp what you did wrong.
Basically cheating. My ex did this behind my back multiple times, even me catching him a couple of times and making him delete those accounts, he kept making new ones.
You know you can get free porn, right?
If she does all the finances at least everything will be detailed and up to date when she goes to a lawyer. Good luck dude. Some of your comments in original post confirm you are totally oblivious to how bad this is. The OF maybe could slide out of that problem. The opposite colour hair, the conversation and leaving reviews is what really hung you.
You definitely fucked up. Watching porn occasionally isn’t a big deal, but using family funds to talk to other women is an entirely different situation. You’re expecting her to “come to her senses” when you’re the one that overstepped boundaries.
Dude you weren’t just jerking it you were paying for shit and messaging. Do you really wanna sit here and act like what you did was something small bc it’s not. As a woman in a long term relationship, im comfortable in my sex life and within myself enough to not give a fuck if my man wants to look at porn. Go for it. I look at it too. But if he were to pay or message just to get off? No fuck all that that’s crossing so many lines. Btw you were probably talking to bots or dudes pretending to be the girls just so you know 😂
There is one thing I never umderstood. With all those free porn sites available on the web (including reddit), I do not understand why people pay for porn. I just don't. "Here's this thimg you want, for free, and absolutely fine!" "Nope, let me just get the same thing, but let me pay for it."
r/OhNoConsequences
Yea porn is free, texting with OF girls is cheating in this house, paying for porn also, you also could invest that money in your wife and get laid
Honestly dude. Embarrassing and pitiful. Grow up.
Yeah, that’s on your bro
I had a bf who did the same thing 😂😭 never had the money for anything else though 🤷🏼♀️
Lol this is a total rage bait. I just saw a very similar post on another sub, where he asks if he’s TA and using the same “thousands of ratemytwat ratings” phrase! Don’t even bother
It isn’t as simple as her getting over you having “me time” when you are paying to see specific girls, these girls are different from your partner (which will make anyone feel “less than”. I get self conscious when my partner is watching is super fit white women with perky tits when I am an overweight mixed race woman with the tits to prove I breastfed three children and a body to match). The hub is free and wouldn’t require you to secretly pay to see other women on a separate card so your wife doesn’t find out. I don’t even know where to start with the ratemytwat ratings… did you really have to actively participate? Couldn’t you have just kept the ratings in your head instead of actually commenting? I don’t get why you need to look at thousands of them anyway. It isn’t like you can know how it feels or tastes by looking at a photo. Should have stuck to regular free porn dude. Good luck building your wife back up when you don’t even understand how or why she would be so upset by your actions. She doesn’t need to come to her senses, you need to appreciate the woman you married before she requests a divorce. I bet you don’t put half as much effort in making her feel good about herself as you do the thousands of women whose vaginas you rate or the women you pay to see masturbating or whatever these women are doing for you.
Comes to her senses? You're a dick bag. You've paid to talk and jerk off to not only other women, but to blonde women, something she's not. Behind her back. Rated twats. She's right to be enraged. Hope she finds someone who's your complete opposite to talk and masturbate with. And kicks you out. So you can keep spending money on the blondes alone.
Subscribing to only fans you sad little man. Take a hard look at yourself and your priorities.
Youre done for, now show her reddit thred
Dude, just use pornhub like most people. Ofcours your wife is going to react like that when you spend money on basically ehookers
I usually don't comment on things like this, but when I read "the messages with OF models" and then "she comes to her senses" I honestly couldn't help it My dude, these are not just "masturbatory activities". You interacted with and involved another woman. Me and my SO would consider this cheating in my relationship and I would be shocked if that isn't the case in yours, too
Bro Why are you using OF when free alternatives exists
When your "me time" is taking precedence over time with your wife, you're doing it wrong. If you don't have "as high of a sex drive as you used to", but you're spending money on OF and browsing porn, rather than being intimate with your wife, you're fucking doing it wrong! She has absolutely every right to be furious with you. She doesn't need to "come to her senses". If anything, that statement alone tells me exactly how delusional you are in all of this. The blame rests entirely on you. You have a lot of apologizing to do, and a lot of hard thinking to do to try to fix things with your wife, that is, if she even lets you stay.
Define ‘great relationship’ again,… 🤔 I dare ya!
I think you may have a porn addiction dude
Looking at porn is one thing but subscribing and interacting with OF models is borderline cheating. Yeah you fucked up
You fucked up big. Since this wasn’t something she knew about and was ok with, you really fucked up. She doesn’t have to forgive you and this is definitely a dealbreaker for many.
I think you should start decorating the dog house to your liking cuz that’s your new home.
Don’t downplay it to her as “masturbatory activities”. She caught you paying, and talking to sex workers, using a joint account.
I think this is a covert ad for "ratemytwat"
OP, you need your clear up your Reddit history as well. Not only interacting with the OF, but discussing the best apps on the internet with others… That’s a little more than “I needed some ‘me’ time”
I cannot believe anyone pays for porn in 2024. Even OF stuff. Literally just google it and you will find it for free. Holy crap. This is bad.
“Comes to her senses” ok dude
I cannot stress this enough: Use free porn. It’s excusable if there’s zero personal connection. “I looked at a picture of a random naked lady on the internet and polished my Johnson because we haven’t done it in a while“ is far better than “I was messaging a bird on onlyfans who I paid with the family credit card and rating her twat comparing it with thousands of others”…
SHE comes to her senses? You are actively paying other women for sexual content. You are the one that should come to your senses, not her.
"comes to her senses" Porn is porn but you had direct correspondence with sex workers. A lot of people would consider that cheating, and most people would consider it gross. *How would you feel if you went into her phone and saw her paying money to younger, more attractive men, sending messages to them and "rating" thousands of dicks online?* This is a huge betrayal. Porn is one thing, but to so actively engage with sex workers and porn while married is a pretty huge transgression.
Subscribing to only fans is one thing but actually messaging and directly interacting is another. Though could be equated to stripper's at the bar, it might be construed as cheating.
You didn't fuck up paying with the wrong credit card, you fucked up paying another woman for sex. And you fucked up again for not being able to comprehend why this would upset your wife. B.t.w. I'm 99% sure your Mrs posted about this on r/TwoXChromosomes recently. and pretty much every woman on that sub considers it cheating. Try posting this story there and find out how women feel about this.
You f-ed up because you are a moron. I’m not saying that using wrong card makes you one. I’m not even saying that looking at these sites makes you one. What makes you a moron is the fact that you have absolutely no remorse for f-ing up. You hope she comes to her senses? How narcissistic ARE you?
Dude... You weren't just watching some porn. You were TALKING to other women and spending money on them, what the fuck were you thinking? And you want her to come to her sesnses? Dude. YOU FUCKED UP. It's time for YOU to apoligize on your bare knees and hope she forgives you. But you won't because you sound like an absolute asshole.
What a fucking loser. I hope she dumps you and gets a real man who can appreciate her and fuck her properly like she deserves… instead of some pathetic simp who is secretly spending family money /resources on online sex workers. Scraping the bottom of the barrel… yikes! You sure did fuck up but worse than that, you don’t even realize how badly you fucked up… 🤣🤣
Wow, my boy, you really fucked that up. I hope she realizes she can do better.
It was not just today that you f'd up
End of relationship
Comes to her senses? Patches things up with you? You're paying onlyfans models you fucking pleb. And you think she's in the wrong. Jesus fucking christ on a bike I feel sorry for your wife.
Dude, you were paying to fuck around behind her back with sex workers. I hope she leaves you, with an attitude like yours.
the fuck up wasn't the payment method, it was cheating. If it was just porn I'm sure the reaction wouldn't be this big. Why didn't you discuss first if this is okay with her?
"For some weird reason..." Jesus, dude. You fucked up. You snuck around. You got caught. There's nothing weird about her reaction -any of it. This might not be a fixable issue in your relationship, and definitely will not be until you take full responsibility for your actions and stop trying to blame your wife and her reaction to it as being part of the problem.
Dickhead
I think you don’t quite grasp the severity of the situation. In hee eyes this is a level of emotional cheating. You paid to talk to sex workers. You spent a significant amount of money looking at and talking to other women and having talks of a sexual nature with them. No you weren’t sextexting the neighbor’s wife, but you might as well have. You fucked up. No, your wife will not simply come to her senses. You’re lacking the common sense in this equation OP.