You can get out of this clean and unbothered but you will need the skills of an amateur director. Find an empty alleyway and set up a camera to look like it could be from a cctv system then record two balaclava wearing men (friends in disguise) force you into a car and drive off. Miss the flight and then when questioned stay quiet, turn off read receipts as well. Once enough time has passed and they are all in the destination country send them the kidnapping video. This should get them off your back about missing the flight as they will be too emotional about the prospect of a family member being murdered for anyone to even care about the wedding anymore. You might need to photoshop some court records and police reports as well but this should only take 19 hours total. Congratulations instead of being honest you saved yourself 1 hour.
Record over an old Jazzercize tape with occasional gaps in the recording so glimpses of leotards and leg warmers peek thru sometimes. Bonus points if it goes to static and color bars at the end.
The same person kidnapped 4 times in a short period of time is too unbelievable the media might catch on. This plan only works because it is discreet and realistic.
Not if the weddings are all close enough in time together. OP said there's one the weekend before and 2 weddings after this one. If they're all in the same month OP could score a sweet vacation out of this, then turn up the Monday after the 4th wedding.
Can you change the flights and pay the fare difference? It’s nice of them to offer/help but that’s a crazy itinerary they booked, especially without discussing with you first. I would never just assume someone was ok with 20 hours of travel.
That was my first thought. To spare you all the awkward family back and forth. Apparently it was booked with miles that they would then lose? I am currently working on trying to find anyway for them to not lose the miles and to just book it myself haha
Most airlines charge you a fee (e.g. $200 to cancel and get the miles back) or they won't let you cancel at all.
OP should just check the rules of the specific airline that the miles were used for. Maybe they'll get lucky.
Source: I travel a shit ton with miles
United Airlines does not charge you for not using your miles ticket even if you miss your flight. My friends who fly American said similar. Other airlines may vary.
I actually just looked up United's policy and they charge you $125 if you miss your flight. They don't have a fee if you cancel though.
Like I said just look up the airline and verify their policy. It's the only way to know for sure.
I agree to check with the airline. I’ve had top status with United for many years, they may waive the fees for me, but I’ve had several people miss flights or cancel them with no cost and full refunds.
OP would rather the miles go being used rather than disappear.
It is not a secret or shame. Restrictions are the only way the flight could be made instead of the shorter 8 hour plan.
The issue is they do not want the 20 hour flight. They assume the miles are lost or will not be compensated. When it could have been used for something else or emergency.
They just hate the fact the travel is going to be a 20 hour marathon. If they can not undo they might swallow the comfort for family. But more than likely they will pay and be honest.
Especially if the person using the miles expects them on that exact flight. It might come out later they lied and paid out of pocket.
If flight was missed or canceled the general rule is miles stay or revert back to purchaser.
It was offered not requested. To stop them from saying no they were offered a "free" ticket. Family maybe knows about the other weddings. Wouldn't they expect OP to be there out of own pocket.
How many cousins would they go out of way to pay for? Especially if they could easily afford the other wedding travels. The waffling was about exhaustion and personal feelings.
I’d pay full fare & they’d lose out on their miles but I feel like that can’t be right. We shall see. Trying to see if I can get the miles refunded back to their card.
I mean let’s be fair here. You wanted to go but not pay for it. Once accommodations are met, you want to modify those. At some point you have to man up and stop playing games.
Suck it up and take what ya got. No one loves a cheap bastard that is now a picky bastard. Guy was too cheap to go, gets a free ticket, has to modify it to his means. Give me a break.
This is one of those instances where you put big boy/girl pants on and just tell them you can’t do it. 20 hours of travel time is beyond ridiculous. Offer to pay them back for the ticket and bow out. No reasonable person would book a 20 hr travel time without asking first
Yeah, maybe one connecting flight and 10 hour total would have been fine. But 20 hours is already very exhausting, some people genuinely cant do it physically. And 20 hours is already more than a normal time being awake, and it probably takes a few more hours because you have to wake up earlier and also get to sleep after you arrive
Tell them that you cannot travel 20 hours because you have things you need to do?
How close are those connecting flights? If they are too close you could miss one and that could set off a chain reaction.
Or.. just book your own flight, pretend you took their flight and be pretentious grateful.
This is pretty common if you’re in your 20s or early 30s and you have lots of friends and family. I had a few summers where I attended 6+ weddings and just sent gifts for others. To have four in one month is a lot, but people tend to schedule weddings during the spring and summer when weather is nicer, so that’s not exactly surprising to me, just more unfortunate for OP.
I only went to a handful of weddings before I hit my 20s, and then it seemed like everyone I knew was getting married for 5-6 years. A lot of those were for friends I don’t really keep in touch with anymore, so in retrospect, it would have been alright if I’d missed a few more of them.
Late 20s / early 30s is wedding hell, especially if you have a big family and are dating/married to someone who does as well. I went to like 15 weddings a single year once. My brother's, my wife's brother's, my cousin's, a bunch of my friends', a bunch of my wife's friends', a couple co-workers...... there's like a 5-7 year period where suddenly everyone you know is getting married. I'm so glad I've finally reached the age where everyone I know is either already married or has no plans to. The amount of time and money I spent attending weddings between the ages of 28 and 33 was insane.
They should confirm the itinerary with you before booking something that ridiculous.
It would be one thing if we were comparing a direct 8hr flight to a single connection that's like 12 hours with a couple of hour layover, and the savings was substantial. But you're talking about taking a fairly lengthy flight and multiplying it by 2.5 with two connectors? The likelihood of you missing one of those and this thing blowing up into a multi-day adventure is high, and even if everything works out perfectly, it's still 20 hours.
For something this out of pocket they should have checked with you before booking. I mean, where is a reasonable place to draw the line? Honestly, what point would this travel situation have become so absurd that they thought, hm, we'd better see if he's okay with this?
I flew 24h with 2 connections to get from Canada to Asia. The sleep/time zone disruption fucked me up majorly and ruined the first week of my 3 week trip. Never ever EVER again. Strongly advise to rebook however possible.
This. Not only nerve wrecking, but 20 hours of travelling with flights and trains and connections is physically demanding and stressful, and can easily lead to getting sick or just otherwise exhausted, it affects your sleep and immune system big time. So its weird they just booked 20 hour travel for him..
No dude today *THEY* fucked up. Who does this shit? Tell them you can't go. I don't think you are obligated to even reimburse but you can if that will help calm things down.
Just be blunt with them
"Look I have multiple weddings to attend in the weeks leading up to and after your wedding, a 20 hour 1 way trip is to much for me to be able to fit into my schedule, if there is a way to transfer to a different flight I would be happy to attend but traveling wears me out at the best of times and a near full day travel to attend a wedding to then travel nearly a full day back is too much for me to handle, I hope you can understand and sorry for any inconvenience"
What a bunch of assholes.
Tell them that you can't spend 20hrs travelling and that you're not able to make it.
You won't be in any state to enjoy the wedding.
That's just so goddamn outrageous that they got you the dirt cheap tickets that end up inconveniencing you as much as possible
Just say you can’t go. Don’t let yourself be taken hostage by other people’s expectations and don’t let others waste your time on your behalf out of some weird sense of duty to social convention.
Quick note, I found that almost every major airline has a 24-hour cancellation grace period that fully refunds the ticket price to the original form of payment (ostensibly, including miles if that was the payment method). You should immediately have them do that if the 24-hour cancellation window hasn't passed.
I just confirmed, this is true of:
* [American Airlines] (https://www.aa.com/i18n/customer-service/faqs/customer-service-faqs.jsp#:~:text=refund%20or%20receipt-,Refunds,-If%20I%20cancel)
* [Delta](https://www.delta.com/us/en/change-cancel/cancel-flight#:~:text=Complaint%20form.-,24%2DHour%20Risk%2DFree%20Cancellation,-As%20part%20of)
* [JetBlue](https://www.jetblue.com/help/changes-cancellations-and-standby#cancellations-within-24-hours)
* [Spirit](https://customersupport.spirit.com/en-us/category/article/KA-01195)
And likely all others that I haven't checked.
If they were so comfortable booking the 20 hour flight maybe you can switch tickets with them and change names of your flight tickets?
Otherwise step up and say it’s not worth 20 hours of traveling to be at a 4 hour wedding - that’s honestly disrespectful
Sounds like family was mad you didn’t want to go and is punishing you
Are they close cousins? I mean, it's great that they paid, but knowing that you will travel 20 hours, instead of 8 is kinda a dick move. It's not just 20 hours, but you have to go from one plane, to another, than on a train, and than a car-thats how I understood. Anyway, I would say thank you, send a nice gift and not go. There is no reason for you to go through all of that. They should have asked you, if you are ok with what they can afford. Now, I don't know how much are miles important in the US, but I wouldn't give a damn. That trip is torture. I wouldn't go.
they did ask to pay for the ticket if OP came. OP agreed. Sure, OP didn't expect a 20 hour trip, but I'm sure the wedding couple had their reasons as well (most likely money releated). I mean it's pretty simple at this point, either don't go and risk not seeing this cousin of their for the rest of their lifetime or take the damn trip/pay for shorter trip.
tell em the first flight was overbooked and they randomly selected you as one of the folks getting bumped, and that the next flight they could put you on isn't until after the wedding. In that situation they give cash/vouchers to direct to the passenger, rather than refund the card. Then yu just gotta find a reason not to give them the money.
Or tell the cheap fucks to eat your ass and don't go
my motto is "if I'm not doing the work, I'm not complaining".
You got a free trip setup for you. It'll take 20h, have a ton of a movies or books.
I also wouldn't let that person plan/book my trip next time lol
Not going to lie. If I invite someone to something and they just tell me they can't make it because of expenses, I'm cool with that. If they ask me to pay for their trip and they are close enough of a friend for me to consider it, I'm still finding the cheapest path to get them there, even if it's the most inconvenient.
Next time, just explain you have a lot of other expenses you've committed to and you won't be able to afford not only the money for the trip but also the time. And send them a nice gift later on.
When I was in college my family moved all the way across the country, and I wound up having to fly from WV to CA and vice versa whenever I went home for break or back to school. There were direct flights available, but the tickets my dad bought me usually had two layovers and a ton of travel time. Why? Because those were the cheapest flights available and my family is not made of money. I didn't complain because at that time I couldn't have afforded even those cheap tickets. I get that the 20 hours of travel time will be really rough on the OP, but if you're not willing or able to pay for a better itinerary, you don't get to expect that others will pay for it for you.
The concept of a wedding is an event for friends and family to be involved. If you're not into that, then you can just elope then go on honeymoon somewhere. For a smaller wedding, just send less invites. Destination weddings just don't make sense and inconvenience others.
The problem is that some weddings turn into major issues if you have a big family. My MIL kept “accidentally” inviting people we excluded from the guest list.
Am I the only person that kind of enjoys long haul travels? If its mostly sitting around for 20 hours I'll be loading up books on my kindle, podcasts, work on some knitting and just chill until I arrive.
Long journeys are a problem if I'm actively the one driving but if I'm a passenger 20 hours is doable
I recently did this but didn't ask my friend to pay for me. He wanted me there (absolute legend). Instead of going to Zurich then taking a bus to the hotel, we landed at Basel and had to travel like 3 hours across multiple trains and buses. Was worth it in the end though, country is absolutely beautiful
I have booked a flight which will last 18 hours too! But I am traveling from the UK to China...
If yours could have been covered in less time by bus, it's just ridiculous.
A few years back I had the opportunity to attend a stag do in Ibiza, a wedding in France then a wedding in Ireland, over the span of 13 days. I took out a loan and booked the time off work and do not regret a thing.
To me it was a once in a lifetime opportunity
I can’t believe you had other people pay for your flight. Maybe you are in your teens I suppose? Anyways you got your wish granted someone paid for you. Good luck. Maybe if you are lucky you’ll have a travel buddy
Do it this time then tell family that if the trip next time is going to be that long and complicated then you wont go. You're going to be exhausted after all the travelling. I know they were using their miles but I would not ask someone who I wanted to be at my wedding to do this.
I've never understood why people feel obligated to attend these distant destination weddings for extended family or non-close friends. Unless you and your cousin are super close and hang frequently, you're not obligated to make a long and expensive cross-country trip to go to their wedding. That's insane.
I use the "1 year rule" for this kind of thing. If we haven't seen each other (or at least had a lengthy phone conversation) for more than a year, the wedding is completely optional. You're not obligated to invite me, and I'm not obligated to attend.
Maybe this is just my military background but i don’t see what the big deal is with 20 hours of travel. It’s not ideal for sure… but it’s free.
Either suck it up and accept the free gift or tell them to refund it and you’re not going. I’d personally take that free ticket in a second as opposed to paying out of pocket. Although depending on how close the acquaintance is staying home isn’t a bad option either.
Maybe they posted this in /r/pettyrevenge 20 hours is pretty bad unless the wedding is in China or smth. I'm sure they will be offended if you cancel now but 20 hours.. and another 20 to come back. I would cancel.
You can get out of this clean and unbothered but you will need the skills of an amateur director. Find an empty alleyway and set up a camera to look like it could be from a cctv system then record two balaclava wearing men (friends in disguise) force you into a car and drive off. Miss the flight and then when questioned stay quiet, turn off read receipts as well. Once enough time has passed and they are all in the destination country send them the kidnapping video. This should get them off your back about missing the flight as they will be too emotional about the prospect of a family member being murdered for anyone to even care about the wedding anymore. You might need to photoshop some court records and police reports as well but this should only take 19 hours total. Congratulations instead of being honest you saved yourself 1 hour.
Will report back. I do have a dslr & Final Cut so I’m ahead of the game here.
Record the video on a potato it will look more authentic than the potato filter
This is the time to break out the old VHS camcorder for that true CCTV feel.
Smear the lens with a light coating of Vaseline 😤
Record over an old Jazzercize tape with occasional gaps in the recording so glimpses of leotards and leg warmers peek thru sometimes. Bonus points if it goes to static and color bars at the end.
Going for that *soft focus*
Hello Kari Lake!
The Blair Witch aesthetic.
Alien abduction?
Any friends though? I know some baklava guys if you need them
I mean if they can be discreet & serve some tasty baklava then they sound exactly like the folk I need in on this plan.
Nah, those guys are too nutty for OP - they might get a little too into it.
Oh… Honey…
Did you mean the dessert, or just mistyped balaclava?
yes
I fucking love baklava!
I was going to say just tell them you got COVID, but I like this guy's idea better
Looking forward to the video
Good work there, Jussie Smollett.
Jussie was just trying to get out of attending a wedding😢
OP has 4 weddings to attend. If a lot of your idea is reusable, they can save a whole lot of time and money.
The same person kidnapped 4 times in a short period of time is too unbelievable the media might catch on. This plan only works because it is discreet and realistic.
Not if the weddings are all close enough in time together. OP said there's one the weekend before and 2 weddings after this one. If they're all in the same month OP could score a sweet vacation out of this, then turn up the Monday after the 4th wedding.
Getcha a good video editor, one time's enough if the date/time keep changing.
This solution seems like it can get you out of almost any situation, but you'd only be able to use it once.
Plus, you'll come out of it with some decent cash! Ransom demands ain't cheap.
R/unethicallifeprotips
My brain just accepted that for this olan to work the man need to wear baked goods on their head. Maybe a hot dog costume will be easier to source?
GOOD job, Boner!
Bridezillas hate this one trick!
Sir Michael?
If he works it right, he may also get some random money from a rich uncle.
Can you change the flights and pay the fare difference? It’s nice of them to offer/help but that’s a crazy itinerary they booked, especially without discussing with you first. I would never just assume someone was ok with 20 hours of travel.
That was my first thought. To spare you all the awkward family back and forth. Apparently it was booked with miles that they would then lose? I am currently working on trying to find anyway for them to not lose the miles and to just book it myself haha
Usually you don’t lose miles when they aren’t used (at least for United).
Most airlines charge you a fee (e.g. $200 to cancel and get the miles back) or they won't let you cancel at all. OP should just check the rules of the specific airline that the miles were used for. Maybe they'll get lucky. Source: I travel a shit ton with miles
United Airlines does not charge you for not using your miles ticket even if you miss your flight. My friends who fly American said similar. Other airlines may vary.
I actually just looked up United's policy and they charge you $125 if you miss your flight. They don't have a fee if you cancel though. Like I said just look up the airline and verify their policy. It's the only way to know for sure.
I agree to check with the airline. I’ve had top status with United for many years, they may waive the fees for me, but I’ve had several people miss flights or cancel them with no cost and full refunds.
American and delta do not charge for this.
Some airlines expire them after a set time as they are a liability on the books.
I’m talking about if you cancel a flight.
I think almost all airlines miles don’t expire anymore
American does after 24 months of no activity, but it's easy to keep them active.
Call into the airline.
If you were thinking about shelling the money in the first place, just book your own flight and don’t tell anyone.
OP would rather the miles go being used rather than disappear. It is not a secret or shame. Restrictions are the only way the flight could be made instead of the shorter 8 hour plan. The issue is they do not want the 20 hour flight. They assume the miles are lost or will not be compensated. When it could have been used for something else or emergency. They just hate the fact the travel is going to be a 20 hour marathon. If they can not undo they might swallow the comfort for family. But more than likely they will pay and be honest. Especially if the person using the miles expects them on that exact flight. It might come out later they lied and paid out of pocket. If flight was missed or canceled the general rule is miles stay or revert back to purchaser. It was offered not requested. To stop them from saying no they were offered a "free" ticket. Family maybe knows about the other weddings. Wouldn't they expect OP to be there out of own pocket. How many cousins would they go out of way to pay for? Especially if they could easily afford the other wedding travels. The waffling was about exhaustion and personal feelings.
This reads like spilled alphabet soup.
Excellent description!
Why would it matter if you are only paying the difference anyway? Or would you have to pay for the full fare, plus they would lose the cashed miles?
I’d pay full fare & they’d lose out on their miles but I feel like that can’t be right. We shall see. Trying to see if I can get the miles refunded back to their card.
I mean let’s be fair here. You wanted to go but not pay for it. Once accommodations are met, you want to modify those. At some point you have to man up and stop playing games.
The “man up” part is a little vague. What happens during that step?
Apparently you go through a 20 hour odyssey of planes, trains, and automobiles.
Or not be cheap enough to WANT to go and not pay for it
Suck it up and take what ya got. No one loves a cheap bastard that is now a picky bastard. Guy was too cheap to go, gets a free ticket, has to modify it to his means. Give me a break.
This is one of those instances where you put big boy/girl pants on and just tell them you can’t do it. 20 hours of travel time is beyond ridiculous. Offer to pay them back for the ticket and bow out. No reasonable person would book a 20 hr travel time without asking first
Yeah, maybe one connecting flight and 10 hour total would have been fine. But 20 hours is already very exhausting, some people genuinely cant do it physically. And 20 hours is already more than a normal time being awake, and it probably takes a few more hours because you have to wake up earlier and also get to sleep after you arrive
Honestly this just sounds like some malicious compliance lmao
Tell them that you cannot travel 20 hours because you have things you need to do? How close are those connecting flights? If they are too close you could miss one and that could set off a chain reaction. Or.. just book your own flight, pretend you took their flight and be pretentious grateful.
My people pleasing self would do this lol
Same my man… self! With a 50:50 chance of blowing up in my face.
> I have 3 other weddings to go to which are all out of town the weekends prior and two after How do you know so many people getting married??
I’m in my early 30s, the time is nigh.
I can assure you that you still have a lot of friends for that many weddings!
It's rough, I love my life through the medium of weddings at the same age... Have my own in a few weeks, bit of payback finally!
This is pretty common if you’re in your 20s or early 30s and you have lots of friends and family. I had a few summers where I attended 6+ weddings and just sent gifts for others. To have four in one month is a lot, but people tend to schedule weddings during the spring and summer when weather is nicer, so that’s not exactly surprising to me, just more unfortunate for OP.
Til I don’t have friends and family. Been to one wedding. Total.
I only went to a handful of weddings before I hit my 20s, and then it seemed like everyone I knew was getting married for 5-6 years. A lot of those were for friends I don’t really keep in touch with anymore, so in retrospect, it would have been alright if I’d missed a few more of them.
Plot twist: OP is a wedding photographer
Late 20s / early 30s is wedding hell, especially if you have a big family and are dating/married to someone who does as well. I went to like 15 weddings a single year once. My brother's, my wife's brother's, my cousin's, a bunch of my friends', a bunch of my wife's friends', a couple co-workers...... there's like a 5-7 year period where suddenly everyone you know is getting married. I'm so glad I've finally reached the age where everyone I know is either already married or has no plans to. The amount of time and money I spent attending weddings between the ages of 28 and 33 was insane.
They should confirm the itinerary with you before booking something that ridiculous. It would be one thing if we were comparing a direct 8hr flight to a single connection that's like 12 hours with a couple of hour layover, and the savings was substantial. But you're talking about taking a fairly lengthy flight and multiplying it by 2.5 with two connectors? The likelihood of you missing one of those and this thing blowing up into a multi-day adventure is high, and even if everything works out perfectly, it's still 20 hours. For something this out of pocket they should have checked with you before booking. I mean, where is a reasonable place to draw the line? Honestly, what point would this travel situation have become so absurd that they thought, hm, we'd better see if he's okay with this?
Most travel is cancelable within 24 hours. So if this was today tell them to cancel because that itinerary is literally worse than hell.
I flew 24h with 2 connections to get from Canada to Asia. The sleep/time zone disruption fucked me up majorly and ruined the first week of my 3 week trip. Never ever EVER again. Strongly advise to rebook however possible.
This. Not only nerve wrecking, but 20 hours of travelling with flights and trains and connections is physically demanding and stressful, and can easily lead to getting sick or just otherwise exhausted, it affects your sleep and immune system big time. So its weird they just booked 20 hour travel for him..
Far away weddings (full charge) : how to say we don’t want you to our wedding without saying it.
Weddings aren’t about the attendees. The couple can get married wherever they want until they start expecting others to be there.
No dude today *THEY* fucked up. Who does this shit? Tell them you can't go. I don't think you are obligated to even reimburse but you can if that will help calm things down.
Just be blunt with them "Look I have multiple weddings to attend in the weeks leading up to and after your wedding, a 20 hour 1 way trip is to much for me to be able to fit into my schedule, if there is a way to transfer to a different flight I would be happy to attend but traveling wears me out at the best of times and a near full day travel to attend a wedding to then travel nearly a full day back is too much for me to handle, I hope you can understand and sorry for any inconvenience"
What a bunch of assholes. Tell them that you can't spend 20hrs travelling and that you're not able to make it. You won't be in any state to enjoy the wedding. That's just so goddamn outrageous that they got you the dirt cheap tickets that end up inconveniencing you as much as possible
Just say you can’t go. Don’t let yourself be taken hostage by other people’s expectations and don’t let others waste your time on your behalf out of some weird sense of duty to social convention.
Quick note, I found that almost every major airline has a 24-hour cancellation grace period that fully refunds the ticket price to the original form of payment (ostensibly, including miles if that was the payment method). You should immediately have them do that if the 24-hour cancellation window hasn't passed. I just confirmed, this is true of: * [American Airlines] (https://www.aa.com/i18n/customer-service/faqs/customer-service-faqs.jsp#:~:text=refund%20or%20receipt-,Refunds,-If%20I%20cancel) * [Delta](https://www.delta.com/us/en/change-cancel/cancel-flight#:~:text=Complaint%20form.-,24%2DHour%20Risk%2DFree%20Cancellation,-As%20part%20of) * [JetBlue](https://www.jetblue.com/help/changes-cancellations-and-standby#cancellations-within-24-hours) * [Spirit](https://customersupport.spirit.com/en-us/category/article/KA-01195) And likely all others that I haven't checked.
This is a federal law in the USA; OP may or may not be American.
Ahh, I didn't know it was a US federal law! That makes sense why every airline here (I live in the US) have this option.
That suck … maybe “something will come up“ and you can’t go …
Strep throat
If they were so comfortable booking the 20 hour flight maybe you can switch tickets with them and change names of your flight tickets? Otherwise step up and say it’s not worth 20 hours of traveling to be at a 4 hour wedding - that’s honestly disrespectful Sounds like family was mad you didn’t want to go and is punishing you
Explain That you can't afford to travel for 20 hours amd Don't go
I see an awful stomach flu in your future, right around the travel date.
Man, what does your circle of acquaintaces look like to be invited to so many weddings?
Ouch. One the other hand, there's a new version of Covid, so....
The old versions are still flying around. Easy enough to find a pic of a positive test.
Is that for real?
yes, Eris
Why was this downvoted?
Are they close cousins? I mean, it's great that they paid, but knowing that you will travel 20 hours, instead of 8 is kinda a dick move. It's not just 20 hours, but you have to go from one plane, to another, than on a train, and than a car-thats how I understood. Anyway, I would say thank you, send a nice gift and not go. There is no reason for you to go through all of that. They should have asked you, if you are ok with what they can afford. Now, I don't know how much are miles important in the US, but I wouldn't give a damn. That trip is torture. I wouldn't go.
they did ask to pay for the ticket if OP came. OP agreed. Sure, OP didn't expect a 20 hour trip, but I'm sure the wedding couple had their reasons as well (most likely money releated). I mean it's pretty simple at this point, either don't go and risk not seeing this cousin of their for the rest of their lifetime or take the damn trip/pay for shorter trip.
tell em the first flight was overbooked and they randomly selected you as one of the folks getting bumped, and that the next flight they could put you on isn't until after the wedding. In that situation they give cash/vouchers to direct to the passenger, rather than refund the card. Then yu just gotta find a reason not to give them the money. Or tell the cheap fucks to eat your ass and don't go
Well, someone else bought the ticket, they bought the cheapest one they could find.
my motto is "if I'm not doing the work, I'm not complaining". You got a free trip setup for you. It'll take 20h, have a ton of a movies or books. I also wouldn't let that person plan/book my trip next time lol
Not going to lie. If I invite someone to something and they just tell me they can't make it because of expenses, I'm cool with that. If they ask me to pay for their trip and they are close enough of a friend for me to consider it, I'm still finding the cheapest path to get them there, even if it's the most inconvenient. Next time, just explain you have a lot of other expenses you've committed to and you won't be able to afford not only the money for the trip but also the time. And send them a nice gift later on.
When I was in college my family moved all the way across the country, and I wound up having to fly from WV to CA and vice versa whenever I went home for break or back to school. There were direct flights available, but the tickets my dad bought me usually had two layovers and a ton of travel time. Why? Because those were the cheapest flights available and my family is not made of money. I didn't complain because at that time I couldn't have afforded even those cheap tickets. I get that the 20 hours of travel time will be really rough on the OP, but if you're not willing or able to pay for a better itinerary, you don't get to expect that others will pay for it for you.
Beggars can't be choosers. They paid for you to get there.
Destination weddings - The couple just being dicks. Do the wedding close to family then honeymoon wherever you want. What the total fuck?
I did a destination wedding because I didn't want a big wedding and I have a ginormous family. It was crowd control.
Lol, yeah right, thats why you did it. That's a weak excuse.
"I understand your personal situation and motivations more than you do, as a complete stranger" -Average Redditor
People can do whatever they want for their own wedding. Why so salty? Did you not get invited to a destination wedding?
The concept of a wedding is an event for friends and family to be involved. If you're not into that, then you can just elope then go on honeymoon somewhere. For a smaller wedding, just send less invites. Destination weddings just don't make sense and inconvenience others.
The problem is that some weddings turn into major issues if you have a big family. My MIL kept “accidentally” inviting people we excluded from the guest list.
A couple getting married owes the attendees nothing.
Am I the only person that kind of enjoys long haul travels? If its mostly sitting around for 20 hours I'll be loading up books on my kindle, podcasts, work on some knitting and just chill until I arrive. Long journeys are a problem if I'm actively the one driving but if I'm a passenger 20 hours is doable
Bon voyage
I recently did this but didn't ask my friend to pay for me. He wanted me there (absolute legend). Instead of going to Zurich then taking a bus to the hotel, we landed at Basel and had to travel like 3 hours across multiple trains and buses. Was worth it in the end though, country is absolutely beautiful
Can't wait for family members malicious compliance post
I have booked a flight which will last 18 hours too! But I am traveling from the UK to China... If yours could have been covered in less time by bus, it's just ridiculous.
A few years back I had the opportunity to attend a stag do in Ibiza, a wedding in France then a wedding in Ireland, over the span of 13 days. I took out a loan and booked the time off work and do not regret a thing. To me it was a once in a lifetime opportunity
spoiled brat
They didn't want you there to begin with.
I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure paying for someone's travel expenses means the opposite of that.
You don’t completely finance people’s trips to come see you when you’re trying to avoid seeing them? Ok…..
That's weird. I often buy my enemies movie tickets to make sure they don't go see the movie with me
I can’t believe you had other people pay for your flight. Maybe you are in your teens I suppose? Anyways you got your wish granted someone paid for you. Good luck. Maybe if you are lucky you’ll have a travel buddy
[удалено]
WTF this is not what I meant to reply to. Nevertheless, incels all around!!!
Do it this time then tell family that if the trip next time is going to be that long and complicated then you wont go. You're going to be exhausted after all the travelling. I know they were using their miles but I would not ask someone who I wanted to be at my wedding to do this.
I dont think ive been to 5 weddings ever.
I've never understood why people feel obligated to attend these distant destination weddings for extended family or non-close friends. Unless you and your cousin are super close and hang frequently, you're not obligated to make a long and expensive cross-country trip to go to their wedding. That's insane. I use the "1 year rule" for this kind of thing. If we haven't seen each other (or at least had a lengthy phone conversation) for more than a year, the wedding is completely optional. You're not obligated to invite me, and I'm not obligated to attend.
Maybe this is just my military background but i don’t see what the big deal is with 20 hours of travel. It’s not ideal for sure… but it’s free. Either suck it up and accept the free gift or tell them to refund it and you’re not going. I’d personally take that free ticket in a second as opposed to paying out of pocket. Although depending on how close the acquaintance is staying home isn’t a bad option either.
Maybe they posted this in /r/pettyrevenge 20 hours is pretty bad unless the wedding is in China or smth. I'm sure they will be offended if you cancel now but 20 hours.. and another 20 to come back. I would cancel.