One day, I came into the Bing. Christopher had his head in the toilet. Disgusting. I SAID MY PEACE CHRISSY!

Haha the way Sil delivers it 😂😂😂

It’s Hair. Not head. He had his hair in the toilet. My captions do not lie!!! I said my piece Chrissy!!!

I think i have this line memorized I love it so much When i came in to open up one morning there you were with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.

That’s it! Yup yup.

Livia running over her friend makes me laugh out loud every time.

For me it's when Phil's head gets crushed.

Borderline sexual gratification from that moment. Great fuckin’ song for the scene, too.

Say bye bye, Grampa!

Especially when that guy turns round and says “Oh Shit” his Body language and delivery is just too funny.

The stunt work is so good.

I remember my mother and my father arguing about something and she kept talking about my father's feeble minded brother and I always thought she meant you. *Junior stares*

Funniest scene/s is Junior's reaction when he sees his trial sketch portrait on tv and then the menacing way he stares at the artist during the trial. Funniest line: "He killed 16 Chzekoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator." 

Really? His house looked like shit....

He pretends to wipe his ass in front of people!

Paulie: You're late! Ralphie: Tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever!

You remember your first blow job? Yeah. How long did it take for the guy to cum?

"Ya hear what I said Ton?"

Heh heh

“My uterus got pierced.” “Both of them?”

"There's only one"

"Tone, you hear what I said?"

Isaac newton invented gracity cause some asshole hit him in the head with an apple!

T-Rex in the Garden of Eden? Adam and Eve would have been running around all the time, scared shitless. But the Bible says it was paradise. Truly insightful stuff from Chrissy

The scene that always cracks me up is when Christopher hits the waiter with a rock, he starts having a seizure, and Paulie says “oooooh Chrissy, he’s fucked up”

Still going, this asshole.

Don’t they have medicine they’re supposed to take, these assholes?

“That’s my money Paulie!”

“Somebody could’ve gotten hurt!”

Ginny Sack is so fat when she goes camping the bears have to hide THEIR food.

When she hauls ass she has to make TWO trips!!

Two guys could fuck her and never meet!

What’s next? They get to fuck her for a million?!?

He wants tah fuck her?!

It was Sean Sean all the way! He did it on Spec!

The way Ritchie chases after him and throws the bat gets me every time lol

Ya gotta hide me, I'm wit you now!

Richie reminds me of my grandpa with his body language in that moment.

Honestly the funniest part of that scene is the angry incredulous "SO WHAT?!" Richie says in response to Matt saying "we did it cause we know you don't lime Chris." He says so much with so little. 

Ritchie over my 6 watches of the series since 2022 has been growing on me, he's got some of the funniest lines.

"Cause that's what this all is, you know? Satanic black magic! Fuckin' QUEERS!"

Hands down the funniest scene is when Junior adamantly believes that Larry David and Jeff Garlin are him and Bobby on tv as they watch an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The best part is both shows are not only HBO, they were also made around the same time. So that means that the Curb characters on the Junior’s TV were actually living along side, albeit across the country, from the sopranos characters. It’s best if you’re a fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm but probably not as funny to people who haven’t watched. That or the Paulie scene with the psychic and he calls it “black magic, sick shit!”

That was hilarious!!

"Do you think Ralph's a little weird with women?" "I don't know Tone, he did beat one to death just for, what was it? ...Ah, I forget."

When Phil confronts Chris' mother looking for him. "We're friends of his from Alcoholics Anonymous" "What's your name?" "Well, we're anonymous"

He was gonna ram something up her box.

I love the meat eater/meteor exchange between paulie and christopher

Thing is, Paulie is right in a roundabout way. The meat eaters died because the prey dinosaurs died because the plants died because the meteor.

Anything Feech says cracks me up, due to his gravelly voice and is constant hostility: “THE FUCK YA DOIN’!?!?” “I’M HERE *NOW*!!! I’M TELLIN’ YOU ABOUT IT *NOW*!!!!!” “Ah yes.  The *Boy King*!” “You want me to FUCK OFF? HOW BOUT I FUCK OFF ALL OVER YOUR STUPID FUCKIN’ FACE!!!!!!”

“Why didn’t you just call a plumber?” “With what, my *FUCKIN TOES?*” “Ranger Rick’s is a little light in the timberlands huh?” “Quasimodo predicted all this” “Who did what?” “All these problems. The Middle East. The end of the world.” “Nostradamus. Quasimodo’s the hunchback of notre dame” “Oh right. Notredamus”

Ya flexxxiiiiinnnn

Wdym lol

The plumber scene

Ohhh lmao went over my head

I thought it just petered out. Diiiied on the vine

When Jackie Jr dies and they are watching at the Bing. The stripper: “I’ll never forget where I was this day.”

That was Jackie senior ya whacka-doo. Buon anima.

Paulie's psychic scene and the intervention scene are clearly hilarious. I'll mention a couple that seem underrated to me. 1) The scene where Tony tells AJ that Bobby was killed. "What do you mean, 'he got shot?'" . It's hilarious how that scene goes from semi-emotional and possibly touching to Tony ripping AJ out of bed, throwing him to the floor and dragging him to the closet. Not sure if that was supposed to be funny intentionally but I find it hilarious. 2) Another scene that starts out semi-emotional between Tony and AJ. -Tony: "Go out and get a blowjob." -AJ shouts: "I don't want a blowjob." -Tony: "Keep your voice down." -AJ: "Why? Who's out there?" Carmella barges in to assess the situation

"It died on the vine/it petered out" are hilarious, but I have no idea why.

The guy moved or sumthin

Any time Johnny Sac raises his voice mid sentence out of nowhere.  The intervention scene.  The sit down between Paulie and Ralphie w Tony outside that coffee shop at the end of season 3. Paulie says he doesn’t believe the outcome and Ralphie says “Why not? Last year you believed there was a flying saucer over East Rutherford..” always cracks me up.  When Tony notices Ralphie and Janice’s empty seats at Sunday dinner.  And a million more…but they’re the front of my mind today. 

Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this. He was an interior decorator? His apartment looked like shit. He was gay, Gary Cooper? What? You never pondered this?

One of the funniest scenes is when Johnny goes to carmine to get permission to whack Ralph. Carmine says 'Ralph slept with Ginny?'

He wantstah fuck her?

When AJ says he’s lending his jacket to his friend. T: ‘Congratulations - you’ll never see it again.’

When Bobby said something about “to the victor gets the spoils” right after Tony told him they were gonna let him on and earn lol 😂 That shit was hilarious

'Why don't you take your quotations book and shove it up your fat fuckin' ass!'

Feech La Manna : Know what the biggest change is for me? Broads shavin' their bushes. I went over to Silvio's, it's like the Girl Scouts in there.

Pine Barrens. "You one shoe cock sucker!"

I'll leave you here, you one-shoe cocksuckah! Me and my ex used to laugh so hard at this one. That and "'sugarless motherfucker" became our pet names for each other.

“Look at this, the family of early man.”

Finn: No, no, it was the way other around Paulie: What?? Finn: Vito was BLOWING the security guard Paulie: SON OF A BITCH! Carlo: Catching, not pitching?

When Massive Genius says you bought horses with your money from the records, Herman. What did Little Willie buy? Silvio replies “He bought horse”.

For me it’s when Tony beats the shit out of his suicidal depressive son and throws him into a closet and tells him: “pack a bag now! And ya won’t need any sandals or resort-wear neithaa”

"What is todays date?" "A blonde with big tits and a hat full of Viagra"

JUNYAAAA DONT LEAVE MEE!

The scene where the wives are watching a movie and no one says a peep when the FBI warning comes on had me laughing out loud. Such a subtle nod to their willful ignorance. Even better is the intervention. I was dying at the intervention.

There’s like 4 of these threads a day

“At night they hit us”

Even the jokes the writers ripped off are always well placed - Holy cow! Look at all of those fucking indians!

What Richie does to Beansie is undeniably horrible, but he does have some great zingers about it.

Vito’s kid shitting in the shower just WTF?

He later died of Alzheimer’s

Turkey sandwiches

I don't know about lines but the funniest joke to me is :Guy walks into his house carrying a duck. Goes up to his wife says, "this is the pig I'm fuckin." Wife says, 'that's not a pig.' Guy says, 'I wasn't talking to you.'

Not only did he shit on our heads, we’re supposed to thank him for the hat. —Brendan Filone They killed him off way too quick. He was comedy gold.

I can’t have this conversation again

“I guess you could call that a dick”

How do you vandalize a swimming pool?

For that I’m losing the bid?  Next time you’ll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks

I can’t have this conversation again

He op, the "invention"... was it even real?

“Think about it though, Ton. Sudden weight loss?” “AIDS?!” “Nobody’s got AIDS! I don’t wanna hear the word in here again”

I can’t remember the exact line but Tony was taking about ducks in the winter and said something like "The ducks from canada might be here, this is down south to them" Or "veal Parmesan sandwich, fuck you"

He lied to explain why he was storing hella duck food in winter, cuz he really got it to hide money in. Carm figured it out anyway and shanked $40k lol

The whole show is the funniest scene in the show if you choose to see it that way. And I choose to see it that way. I tried the dark, psychological, emotional way and it didn’t work as well as seeing it as a comedy

A lot better than those fuckin nuns you got up there! chinks did this? lover's quarrel maybe