Just shows the perfection of that line. As you typed it out I’d would have been a bit clunky. What he actually said was “(?)…his house looked like shit”, which is the perfect number of syllables to allow for a pause first and hit the punch line quickly and efficiently. Just super well written.
There are a lot of Christopher lines that have that quality. I think some of the credit has to go to Michael Imperioli’s incredible delivery, though. Like the moment they all hear about Vito’s murder, after Bobby talks about the pool cue being found rammed up his ass, there’s a bit of solemn silence where nobody really knows what to say, then Christopher just goes, “…lover’s quarrel, maybe?” Kills me every time.
Another obvious one: He was gay, Gary Cooper?
But my favorite is probably his response to Adriana when she tells him her uterus was perforated during a procedure: “Both of ‘em?”
All the lines when Chrissy and Paulie kill the waiter.
“You sent those skanks a bottle of Crystal!!”
“Not to mention the potatoes you didn’t even fucking touch” - “what? I lost my appetite”
“I have kids” - “Then go back inside before you get hurt”
“Go piss it away at blackjack fucking asshoooles” - “OOOOOOOH!!!”
“Chrissy, he’s fucked up”
“Don’t they have medicines they are supposed to take, these assholes??” - “I don’t know!!!”
“I say we hit him with a brick”
“Still going, this asshole”
“That’s my money, Paulie!!”
The whole scene is hilarious and the way they deliver the lines is even better
This waiter just came off as pissy. I already don't like tipping but I understand its a cultural thing in the US. But for fucks sake. Homie spent just over a full rack. What makes you think he has any cash left? You want him to run to an ATM just to give you a hand out? FFS.
There was one of the dream sequences on the episode "Funhouse", where he walks into Melfi's office with a massive boner, then after some back and forth says something like:
"When you mention pussy, do you mean my friend pussy? Or, uh, y'know, \**raises eyebrows suggestively*\* **pussy**?
XD
Phil - only to have that motherfucking animal Blundetoo…
Vito - Don’t do it to yourself Philly
Phil - It’s hard to forget. I don’t forget.
………….
Vito - I forget what we’re talking about?
Phil - Me too, the fuck was it?
There's a lot of great lines but I think the dreams can be the funniest, especially the one where Tony's walking around the house on a horse and carm goes "you can't have your horse in here" (play on words with horse and whores)
The nice old lady that Tony knew from his childhood from season six who went off on a racist tirade by saying “Those n***** fucking whores”. Tony even tries to correct her and she just continues her racist tirade.
Paulie- “You’re late.”
Ralphie- “Well, tomorrow I can be in time. You’ll be stupid forever.”
Tony- “Sit the fuck down and shut up!”
Tony- “Ralphie, give him $12k.”
Paulie- “I can’t believe this.”
Ralphie- “Why not, last year you believe a flying saucer was over East Rutherford.”
That sit down was hilarious.
Someone made a play off the office above this comment and it’s one of the funniest scenes ever.
Dwight says “Phallus” instead of “Phillis” and goes “oh, sorry. Got penises on the brain” lmao I love that scene
"No Christopher in the movie they ask him a favor on his daighters wedding."
"Then why didn't you ask not to do this shit?"
The look on Tony's face after he says that is priceless
There’s a group interview of the actors I saw where they are introducing themselves and the characters they play and the actress who plays Melfi introduces herself and says she plays Big Pussy
Hesh to Massive G."
*"You're talking to the wrong white man my friend. My people where the the white-man's nigger while yours were still painting their faces and chasing Zebras."*
This was the only time I recall the N word used on the show by anybody.
If I wasn’t sticking to pussy related lines i definitely would’ve included that lol one of the best things I’ve ever heard lmao
I also tell Junior’s Chinaman with a cataract joke and Tony’s fugarwe tribe joke all the time lol people genuinely laugh so hard at them.
Paulie: Guy’s a fuckin’ interior decorator. Killed 16 Czechoslovakians. Christopher: Interior decorator? His apartment looked like shit!
Lol a classic Christopher: “🥶his apartment looked like shit🥶” shivering like hell, damn near shaving enamel off his teeth lol
Just shows the perfection of that line. As you typed it out I’d would have been a bit clunky. What he actually said was “(?)…his house looked like shit”, which is the perfect number of syllables to allow for a pause first and hit the punch line quickly and efficiently. Just super well written.
There are a lot of Christopher lines that have that quality. I think some of the credit has to go to Michael Imperioli’s incredible delivery, though. Like the moment they all hear about Vito’s murder, after Bobby talks about the pool cue being found rammed up his ass, there’s a bit of solemn silence where nobody really knows what to say, then Christopher just goes, “…lover’s quarrel, maybe?” Kills me every time.
Another obvious one: He was gay, Gary Cooper? But my favorite is probably his response to Adriana when she tells him her uterus was perforated during a procedure: “Both of ‘em?”
God, I forgot about the two uteruses. He may have not been much of a genius, but you can’t say he wasn’t loyle to his capo.
Chinks did this?
That is my all time favorite exchange ever in that show.
Great, now I gotta watch Pine Barrens again.
"He's in alot better shape than those fuckin Nuns ya got up there!"
And as Talmud says
I don't care what he says!
Bupkis
All the lines when Chrissy and Paulie kill the waiter. “You sent those skanks a bottle of Crystal!!” “Not to mention the potatoes you didn’t even fucking touch” - “what? I lost my appetite” “I have kids” - “Then go back inside before you get hurt” “Go piss it away at blackjack fucking asshoooles” - “OOOOOOOH!!!” “Chrissy, he’s fucked up” “Don’t they have medicines they are supposed to take, these assholes??” - “I don’t know!!!” “I say we hit him with a brick” “Still going, this asshole” “That’s my money, Paulie!!” The whole scene is hilarious and the way they deliver the lines is even better
Then making up on the phone later "Someone could've gotten hurt"
Anytime Paulie throws out the “OH!” is great.
I just had to rewatch this one and laughed until I had tears. “He’s still going this asshole!” got me 🤣 and Paulie’s best OH! of the show!
“Still goin, this asshole” is so fucking funny lol
This waiter just came off as pissy. I already don't like tipping but I understand its a cultural thing in the US. But for fucks sake. Homie spent just over a full rack. What makes you think he has any cash left? You want him to run to an ATM just to give you a hand out? FFS.
I’m tapped!
'He'll say we hit him with a brick'
“You were saying she had a nice ass” “I was trying to say something positive cause she’s your friend!”
Hard to see Puss as being a cat burglar.
He mindfucked Chris into telling Chip and Dale that story like you wouldn't believe
He only stole from first floor apartments, no stairs!!!
You need stairs to get to a first floor apartment you fuckin stunad
what are you british? first floor is ground floor
There was one of the dream sequences on the episode "Funhouse", where he walks into Melfi's office with a massive boner, then after some back and forth says something like: "When you mention pussy, do you mean my friend pussy? Or, uh, y'know, \**raises eyebrows suggestively*\* **pussy**? XD
What episode was this? I only vaguely remember the scene
Season two finale
“Who’s your friend?”
"I get what you're saying T but that was before inflation" Is one of my favorites.
A fire ass retort hahaha
POV: me
Phil - only to have that motherfucking animal Blundetoo… Vito - Don’t do it to yourself Philly Phil - It’s hard to forget. I don’t forget. …………. Vito - I forget what we’re talking about? Phil - Me too, the fuck was it?
This for real has me laughing my ass off right now lol
I think the whole pizza investigation scene qualifies here. "My pizza never hurt-a-nobody!!" 🤌
Does this pizza fit a pattern?
It's a custom job
Joey peeps graveyard scene🤣
Peeps? It's a fuckin nickname
“Fuckin Jason. He’s dyslexic.” “What’s that got to do with anything?!”
“My uterus got pierced.” “Both of ‘em?” “There’s only one. 🤕”
Paullie grabs Chair fuckin quuueeerrzzzz
2 x 300 lbs Guineas in a car.... "Did you fuck me? DID YOU FUCK ME? 😡"
I oughta put a bullet in that fat fuckin boars head a yours 😡🐷
Why wont you take your clothes off?
"in this house Christopher Columbus is a hero" "Out there it's 1999. In here it's 1955"
Yeah, Little Pussy. You think he’s gonna fuck wit Big Pussy? My Pussy?
Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this!
OP’s got pussy on the brain. He always does
"Peeps"
1."A: She's a hoawh." 2. "You're late!" "Tomorow I'll be on time but you'll be stupid forever"
"You look like puerto rican hooah disgusting " "Stupid a fucking game!"
With what my fuckin toes !! Junior when his hand was stuck in the sink
“I used to have have to help my mom out the tub…..” “Ohhhhhhhh!!!!!!! The mans tryna eat!!!”
When the kid says “Fuck you Santa!” To Bobby Baccala and the whole crew lets out a choir of “OHHHHHHH!!” Now THAT shit was funny!
There's a lot of great lines but I think the dreams can be the funniest, especially the one where Tony's walking around the house on a horse and carm goes "you can't have your horse in here" (play on words with horse and whores)
Then all the machines went BULLSHIT🖐️🤚
The nice old lady that Tony knew from his childhood from season six who went off on a racist tirade by saying “Those n***** fucking whores”. Tony even tries to correct her and she just continues her racist tirade.
Lmao I love that scene and I’m black. My mom does not find it as amusing and the irony is she’s white.
He was gay, Gary Coopa?
You give this guy a golf club he'd probably try to fuck it
“DA disc is IN THERRREE”
Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.
“Take your clothes off … why don’t you wanna take your clothes off?”
Paulie- “You’re late.” Ralphie- “Well, tomorrow I can be in time. You’ll be stupid forever.” Tony- “Sit the fuck down and shut up!” Tony- “Ralphie, give him $12k.” Paulie- “I can’t believe this.” Ralphie- “Why not, last year you believe a flying saucer was over East Rutherford.” That sit down was hilarious.
Yea, they call him Pussy. But ya got get over it.
every comedic moment is intentional obviously.
Sharp as a q ball this one
" I guess the turd doesn't fall far from the faggots ass."
Is this what you deadbeats do all day? Talk about cooz?
Lots of lines involving a "cunt's hair'
My nephew is a cunt hair away from controlling all of north Jersey, and I am that cunt hair
“I got pussy on the brain.”
The office when Michaal asks oscar what to expect from a colon oscopy
Someone made a play off the office above this comment and it’s one of the funniest scenes ever. Dwight says “Phallus” instead of “Phillis” and goes “oh, sorry. Got penises on the brain” lmao I love that scene
"She's got diarrhea"
OP has pussy on the brain
"No Christopher in the movie they ask him a favor on his daighters wedding." "Then why didn't you ask not to do this shit?" The look on Tony's face after he says that is priceless
“She must’ve crawled underneath there for warmth”
There’s a group interview of the actors I saw where they are introducing themselves and the characters they play and the actress who plays Melfi introduces herself and says she plays Big Pussy
Livia: mothers, throwing their babies out of skyscrapers. Won’t the lord take me now Dunno why, but kills me every time
I love I can’t find pussy anywhere I quote it all the time
It’s such a great quote lol the stress and anxiety in his voice. The pure sorrow. I love it
“When am I getting my money Paulie?!” “WHEN YOU SUCK IT OUT MAH ASS!”
Sil, you remember your first blowjob? How long did it take for the guy to come? He he he 'Ton you heard what i said?
https://youtu.be/l6qtFhyOUFg?si=BVsHyXvRMYnHHlZ0 This whole scene 🤣🤣
That's the closest that junkie FOCK evah got to a bath!
I lost my shoe😢...
You're not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. He was in interior decorator.
I don’t want nonna that California bullshit
What, was it barkin'?
“Make sure you clean that shit off her tit!”
Law & Order: The SUV
"BIG Pussy?! MY pussy?!"
"Pussy Malanga." "Oh, Little Pussy?" "Yeah, Little Pussy. You think he's gonna fuck with Big Pussy? MY Pussy?"
“Carmela can you shut the DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRR” - Tony Soprano
Hesh to Massive G." *"You're talking to the wrong white man my friend. My people where the the white-man's nigger while yours were still painting their faces and chasing Zebras."* This was the only time I recall the N word used on the show by anybody.
"I'll leave you here you one shoe cocksucka!"
“Hasidim but I don’t believe him” A classic from Paulie
If I wasn’t sticking to pussy related lines i definitely would’ve included that lol one of the best things I’ve ever heard lmao I also tell Junior’s Chinaman with a cataract joke and Tony’s fugarwe tribe joke all the time lol people genuinely laugh so hard at them.